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  1. Third rate les on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I met Gebrselassie once (Haile) before a London marathon, in which he beat me, by nearly 50 minutes. Got my pb then too.

    Bit nippy, and a lovely smile.

    23 April 2018

  2. Steve Green on Pre-Gig ChatGo »

    Looking forward to Kentish Town … Only seen the boys in Shepherd’s Bush in the Capital! … Any guesses for the cover? My all time fave being “what’s my name” at the Empire

    23 April 2018

  3. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    On the latter point I’m sticking with the garbling theory he means to say “ill” but sings “eel” and isn’t bothered enough to go back and re-record. Anyone who’s done any recording, especially of fast stuff, will back me up on this that you garble things when you go back and forth between adjacent sounds like /ɪ/ and /i:/ like a tongue twister. Those two sounds are very close in how they are formed by your speech organs, but not as close as /k/ and /g/, which are almost identical. You wouldn’t really expect to hear a separate /k/ in “Hoylake Gebrselassie”, but just an elision of /k/ and /g/ like might say in “fake gear”.

    However, much as though I’d like it to be ‘Hoylake’, I hear an initial sound closer to the /aɪ/ of ‘Haile’ than the /ɔɪ/ of ‘Hoylake’. And if you’d expect to hear an /i:/, as most commentators seem to say “Haile” as if it was “highly”, well Mr. B seems to be saying it closer to the correct pron of /haɪle/. His in fact /haɪleɪ/, which yeah, gives it the same /eɪ/ as ‘Hoylake’.

    So to me he seems his usual contradictory mixture of the fastidious and the sloppy.

    23 April 2018

  4. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Still confident it’s call dusk and PB. As for eking out his stipend, I’m completely stuck and don’t think it’s speak ill. I hear keel or perhaps Keele ?

    23 April 2018

  5. Slow dempsey on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    A collection of thoughts:

    ‘Call dusk’ appears to make sense but I’m pretty sure that there’s an ‘a’ in there and that the last word starts with a ‘b’ sound. ‘Call a busk’ is the closest I can come to.

    It is ‘PB’ rather than ‘TV’ and though ‘Hoylake’ had a certain attraction, I hear only ‘Haile’.

    That leaves the question of what the protagonist is doing to eke out his stipend. I’m not at all convinced by ‘speak ill’. The first sound is either ‘A’ or ‘I’, followed by ‘sp…’, there’s a ‘k’ sound in there and we end with ‘…eel’ or ‘…eal’ but not, at least to my ear, ‘ill’.

    ‘A Speke eel’ would fit but whether such things exist and how one could utilise them stipend-wise is outside my sphere of knowledge.

    23 April 2018

  6. Transit Full Of Keith on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Turns out there is an annual Hoylake 10K charity fun run …

    23 April 2018

  7. pROBLEMCHIMP on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    ‘Time slip’ to me merely means long and boring.

    Although I like the idea of the ‘I’ll give you…’ as a retort, the stress is wrong for that, it should be firmly on the ‘I’ll’.

    23 April 2018

  8. pROBLEMCHIMP on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I think it’s definitely ’10k PB’ and ‘Hoylake Gebreselassie’. I can hear the ‘k’, trust me, I’m from the Wirral.

    23 April 2018

  9. dr desperate on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I agree Hoylake Gebrselassie would be brilliant as a sort of converse Congolese Unsworth, but I don’t think the ‘k’ is there, no matter how hard I try to hear it.
    No reason why Nigel shouldn’t sing it that way live though, and it does give me an excuse to recall the clerihew I once wrote at a John Hegley gig:
    “Haile Selassie’s horn-rimmed glasses
    Gave rise to cries
    Of Rasta Four-Eyes”.

    23 April 2018

  10. Transit Full Of Keith on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    “Hoylake Gebreselassie”? – lifts a great line into a brilliant one if true, although I can’t really hear it myself.

    The idea of hidden place names made me wonder if he could be eking out his stipend with “a Speke eel”?

    If only there were someone on this site who combined knowledge of the local pronunciation of Wirral placenames, phonology, and angling in the Merseyside area, we might be able to resolve these things.

    23 April 2018

  11. Dagenham daVe on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Ignore my previous thoughts, I’m now leaning towards PB.

    23 April 2018

  12. GOK WAN ACOLYTE on New Half Man Half Biscuit Album in 2018Go »

    So, did anyone mention Delamere? Haven’t got time to re-read all 280+ posts

    23 April 2018

  13. Chris The Siteowner on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »


    23 April 2018

  14. SL Obispo on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    10k PB; Hoylake Gebreselasie

    23 April 2018

  15. Scoff cruddle on New Half Man Half Biscuit Album in 2018Go »

    I’ve always hankered after Shingay-cum-Wendy making it in. Not so far from St Neots, and always made me smile, back in the days I drove west from Cambridge towards Sandy (can’t comment on what colour the clowns from there are)

    22 April 2018

  16. Gradge on New Half Man Half Biscuit Album in 2018Go »

    I cant seem to pre order the album via Probe Plus? Is there a link anywhere, or is it just not listed yet?

    It’s not listed yet – they don’t tend to do pre-orders wildly in advance, unlike some stores. But keep checking back. – CtSO

    22 April 2018

  17. dr desperate on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Incidentally, does one detect a certain Velvet Underground influence in the first verse? Nico sings ‘Sunday Morning’ on TVU&N, and ‘Loaded’ contains the tracks ‘New Age’ and ‘Train Round The Bend’ (“Oh train comin’ round the bend”).
    If so, should ‘New Age’ be capitalised?

    22 April 2018

  18. dr desperate on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    A few thoughts:
    I must admit I was one of those who suggested capitalising the title throughout, having misheard the second line as “cold busk” rather than the more sensible “call dusk”. In this interpretation the protagonist was intending to kill his irritatingly on-trend acquaintance’s Sunday morning by playing the song AF outside his house (or through the wall).
    However, Exxo’s “I’ll give you XXXX” also occurred to me in my sleep last night, as in the line “I’ll give you bloody what if you don’t stop saying what, what, my lad” from ‘Billy Liar’ (a scene later reprised less northernly by Jules Winnfield in ‘Pulp Fiction’).
    For both these reasons, I now join the minuscule majority.

    Similarly for time slip, which may refer to these strange occurrences on Bold St.

    10k PB does fit quite well with Haile Gebrselassie, though I’m straining to hear the ‘n’ at the end of 10.

    Stipends are often eked out by impecunious clergymen in 19th century literature, with a later example occurring in W LLewelyn Williams’ 1919 ‘The making of modern Wales; studies in the Tudor settlement of Wales’.

    All in all, a rocking opener in the manner of the last couple of albums, carrying on the list of grievances from ‘CORGI Registered Friends’ and the house conversion-reversal theme of ‘Friday Night And The Gates Are Low’.

    22 April 2018

  19. Stef from Grimsby.. on New Half Man Half Biscuit Album in 2018Go »

    I’m hankering for the inclusion for the tiny Lincolnshire village if Mavis Enderby to be included in any forthcoming offerings. It has great opportunity for obscure reference

    22 April 2018

  20. Bobby svarc on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Right folks, see you all in about 3 months.

    22 April 2018

  21. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I suppose one of the many wonderful things about these songs is that many will hear 10k TV and legitimately nod in agreement. Even though Nigel sings 10k PB. I probably do likewise on other songs and laugh at inaccurate references. Friday can’t come soon enough.

    21 April 2018

  22. ds on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    It’s deffo PB. It goes with the Gebreselasie line after and why not brand new if they just done a personal best in those endless bloody fun runs

    21 April 2018

  23. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Thank you Charles, it’s worse than I’d even imagined it to be. A fine rant is AF and a new favourite. It seems that they’re hitting another high

    21 April 2018

  24. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Or then there’s “I’ll give you XXXXX!!” where XXXXX is something somebody else says, which you’d like to make them rue.

    Maybe one of many possibilities is that the “you” in the song has/have scoffed at the narrator’s or narrator’s kids futsal session, where he, the narrator, is a trainer or participant, and oh-so-scathingly called it “alehouse futsal” .. while on another occasion boasting of his/her/their own new 10k PB … and yes, don’t people have “fitness apps” on their phones these days that would tell them they should be going for a new PB all the time as if they were Dr. Thomas bloody Wessinghage?

    21 April 2018

  25. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Yay! The first chance to pull the wings off one for the new album!

    So…futsal is essentially a trendy version of 5-a-side, originating in Brazil, played with a smaller, heavier, softer ball and a few years ago was supposed to be THE ANSWER to make British kids start caressing a ball sexily like Brazilians. It was supposed to be our way into ‘the beautiful game’. It became quite trendy a few years back and is now well past its peak.

    Meanwhile “alehouse football” is how people dismiss skilless hoofing, pub teams … who play on a Sunday morning.

    So “alehouse futsal” will be something somebody witty would say on watching some people play futsal who should never have been made to play it, sort of fat kids with sausage rolls going to futsal on a Tuesday night sort of thing. Kind of of the opposite of the beautiful game it was meant to be. For example, it’s not really meant to be that competitive – it’s for skills practice, really, but you can bet British parents would make it competitive for their kids.

    Now it may just be that our man has stored up this wonderful oxymoron as a stupendous title for a song, even though it has little to do with the other lyrical content – highly likely – but it’s also possible that the “you” in the song are the kind of couple who want their children to play beautiful sexy Brazilian football**, and the narrator is in some way going to thwart this notion.

    **but who definitely don’t have a husky

    21 April 2018

  26. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Anyhow, why Haile Gebrselassie if not PB ?

    21 April 2018

  27. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Another vote for PB, personal best. TV never sat comfortably for me despite the fact that I’ve repeatedly sang it to myself.
    I’m generally crap at sorting out in my head what’s often meant by the lines of his songs, and when I’m feeling brave enough I shall be requesting what’s bleedingly obvious to the rest of you, I’m sure. But is alehouse futsal akin to a pub shoeing ?

    21 April 2018

  28. Dagenham daVe on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    It sounds a bit like ‘PV’ which makes no sense so I’m going for ‘TV’
    A PB is a PB, you wouldn’t describe one as ‘brand new’. Well I wouldn’t anyway.

    21 April 2018

  29. JOHN ANDERSON on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Could this be the Timeslip in question?

    21 April 2018

  30. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I think Alan might be right.

    Mine was in 1982 when I was skinny.

    21 April 2018

  31. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    No capitals for me ‘cos although it’s possible that his vengeance is the song itself (after all, the lyricist does define what he does in life in the first verse) it is just a possibilities.

    Also no capital in ‘Timeslip’ for me. Two words: time slip stories. Far more ubiquitous than just limiting it to some kids’ stories from so long ago.

    21 April 2018

  32. Jarg alAn on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    10k PB ? (mine depends on the speed of the bus)

    21 April 2018

  33. Chris The Siteowner on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Fair points, Charles. As I said, the lyrics were a ‘best of’ compilation of what was sent in by fellow Biscuiteers today, and there was a majority in favour of capitals. But I’d be more than happy to change that; if the song was called, say, ‘restaurant snooker’, would we capitalise either of those words? Probably not. Comments welcome.

    21 April 2018

  34. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Thanks Chris. Truly you are spoiling us with this early chance to ask why have you consistently capitalised ‘Alehouse’ and ‘Futsal’ in the lyrics? Unless you think his vengeance upon the “you” in the song is the song itself? Interesting interpretation if so.

    21 April 2018

  35. Chris The Siteowner on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    OK, I’ve posted up the most favoured combinations of lyrics from the five sets submitted today – thank you all. Of course, there’s plenty of room for discussion still; for my part, although I’m sure the lyric is ’10K TV’ (which makes sense), it really sounds to me like ’10K VD’ (which doesn’t, unless Dr D knows otherwise).

    21 April 2018

  36. Jarg alAn on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Obviously should have read #11

    21 April 2018

  37. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Trouble with all that assonance is you create tongue-twisters for yourself – I reckon he has to go /i:/ and /ɪ/ and back to /i:/ in “speak ill to eke” and he ends up with 3 x /i:/

    21 April 2018

  38. Jarg alAn on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    What’s that one that goes ‘there’s no stink like the stink of an eel….’?

    21 April 2018

  39. transit full of keith on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Ha, Phyllis, glad it’s not just my ears, I’ve got ‘a stink eel’ as well. I’ve no idea what that is, perhaps a delicacy a bit like rollmop herring, but so obscure it’s never been mentioned on the internet. Or a baffling callback to “Something’s Rotten in the Back of Iceland”. All seems a bit unlikely. I’ve also got “coal dust on your new day dawning”, probably wrong, but I quite like it.

    21 April 2018

  40. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Ha, somewhat ironically given these lyrics, I just smashed the poshest TV I’ve ever owned during the FA cup semi final that’s just finished. Not deliberately either, though Maureen’s lot had just scored what turned out to be the winner. It fell off a unit after I tried to move some fishing equipment that was spoiling my enjoyment of the match, though not as much as the match was.

    Anyway I agree with John on “I speak ill to eke out my stipend”, where the assonance and internal rhyme is very typically Blackwell, but where the fact that he garbles it more like “speak eel” is just typical of the HMHB production process – in which they can’t really be arsed with too many takes.

    It seems to be “a” new age dawning to my ears (but as already been shown, those ears are a pair of shitebags and anyway I’d prefer it to be “yer new age dawning”).

    I have shite arl audio here, and as of half an hour ago, it’s back to a shite arl telly. Sorry about the cussing but that was not a good Saturday teatime.

    21 April 2018

  41. Phyllis Triggs on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Wot? No Husky? Are you sure? Currently I’m wrestling with ‘a stink eel’ and a husky possibly going by the name of ‘Bear’..

    21 April 2018

  42. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    It’s call dusk on a new age dawning or call dusk on your new age dawning . I think

    21 April 2018

  43. ds on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    I mailed a version but the only thing fixing me is the same bit bothering Mr Wood

    It sounds like “fou qu’il” which is a slightly odd translation for “how mad is he?”. It’s not that I’m fairly sure. But there’s nothing else I can easily think of

    21 April 2018

  44. warden hodges on New Half Man Half Biscuit Album in 2018Go »

    I can see Alehouse Futsal being a great opener…as for Elbow in Delamere,…nah I’ll pass.

    21 April 2018

  45. CHARLES EXFORD on Accy StanleyGo »

    Ooh, she lied to me, lied to me on ‘Fighting Talk’, with a stat that was a week out of date! St. Lucian superhero Janoi Donacien was substituted last Saturday.

    21 April 2018

  46. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Blimey. I’ve been hearing ‘husky’ for a fortnight, clear as day (the middle verse is the one in the snippet). But there’s no husky at all. Maybe we’ll to wait till track two for an aggressive canine. My tail, for one, is firmly between my legs and I shall skulk off to the other end of my through lounge, behind the sliding doors where a dog may be easily exiled when visitors require.

    I think I liked my lyric better though.

    21 April 2018

  47. CHARLES EXFORD on Accy StanleyGo »

    Only just heard (from the increasingly impressive Caroline Barker, though apparently it’s been mentioned plenty in the media recently), that John Coleman hasn’t made a substitution for over 3 months! Now that really is a sixties revival!

    21 April 2018

  48. CHARLES EXFORD on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    ‘Gonna put up a wall in your through lounge/Where the husky knows no bounds.’

    Mr. B has a thing about people not being able to control their arctic sled dogs, it seems. One of at least 2 things in this song that have previously been moaned about in live versions of songs. The other being that band that Guy Garvey tries so hard not to mention every five minutes on his radio show, who have been in ‘Paintball’. And the posh TV is always in the background of ‘Paintball’ without even needing to be mentioned.

    21 April 2018

  49. Polo-necked Jean on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Call dusk, surely

    21 April 2018

  50. JOHN ANDERSON on Picnics with Craft BeerGo »

    Very early first attempt submitted. Not sure about “cold gloss” but otherwise fairly confident.

    (Thanks John – I’ll use it as the basis for version 1.0 later. Anyone else want to have a go at the lyrics in exchange for a credit, email it in – CtSO)

    21 April 2018