“Sheepskin nose-band, kids in Aldershot”
So… what do we know about Aldershot?
The A to Z of HMHB
The A to Z of HMHB
There are 14 Half Man Half Biscuit albums, plus two roundup compilations, as well as 4 EPs and a handful of one-off songs. No 'Greatest Hits'. Indulge yourself by starting here.
In which we chose the nation's favourite Half Man Half Biscuit song. For the next four years, anyway.
Search for any lyric, reference, song title ...whatever.
The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project website © 2007—2021 Chris Rand • All lyrics are the property of their owners
Site Home • Top of Page • About/Contact
CHARLES EXFORD
When you google ‘HMHB Aldershot’, you get the lyrics, obviously. But above that you get something from Chris telling us that ‘a whole bunch of pedants discuss why Aldershot got a mention’ in these lyrics. So we’ve been lulled into posting all our nonsense about ‘WHAT we know’, and now you’re selling on all our personal information as ‘WHY’ to all and sundry on the world wide web? I’m sure this is an offence under the Data Solicitation Act or some such. To be added to yer ‘modern way’ with the alphabet, this is, Chris.
WHY? Cos it rhymes with apricot, methinks.
Anyway the google also tells us that the HMHBK lads are still pootling on quite nicely with their odyssey of self-discovery. Though, like all the best odysseys, they never actually made it to Aldershot.
(Oh, you have no idea how much I like playing with what Google puts in its results, Charles. Now I have an excuse to change things again – Ed)
20 September 2013
Bobby SVARC
Not too much info from me other than Aldershot FC were docked 10 points for going into administration this season and are currently on +4 pts after only 9 games. (Still 19pts behind Nuneaton Boro’ though) š
Tungsten tickler James “The Machine” Wade may have been one of them “Kids” that Nigel was reffering to.
20 September 2013
toastkid
“WHY? Cos it rhymes with apricot, methinks.”
Ha! Someone will come along with a much more complicated explanation than that, I suspect, possibly involving Timothy McVeigh.
20 September 2013
toastkid
Here’s a reference tie in, too – Horse & Hound readers discuss sheepskin nosebands.
From the Ts&Cs – “Users must not collect or store (or attempt to collect or store) any personal data that it may receive about other Users of the Forum.” Especially not in a data retrieval system…
20 September 2013
celery
And what I call pleasure, you may call pain… Iām talking Shoot! League Ladders. Aldershot had a pink tab. Pink with blue writing, or white with pink writing, or pink with white writing, or something.
I’d often find myself re-arranging the tabs into my own fantasy leagues – and as such, Aldershot would appear alongside Wolves, Norwich City, Watford, Crystal Palace, West Ham, Plymouth Argyle, Burnley, Northampton Town, Luton Town, Aston Villa and suchlike in a league of ‘differently-coloured’ shirts.
All the reds would be in a league with each other – with Rotherham United in their rightful place at the summit. And similarly with the blues… with Sheffield Wednesday facing the ever-present threat of re-election.
20 September 2013
Dr Desperate
Although I’ve never been able to find any reference to it elsewhere, I recall John Cooper Clarke in an interview once explaining that his poem ‘Evidently Chickentown’ (as played over the closing credits of the final episode of The Sopranos) was based on an old army song about the tedium of barracks life which had the refrain “… stuck in f****in’ Aldershot”.
Aldershot is known as the “Home of the British Army”.
20 September 2013
Vendor Of Quack Nostrums
The bloody pubs are bloody dull,
The bloody clubs are bloody full,
Of bloody girls and bloody guys,
With bloody murder in their eyes,
A bloody bloke is bloody stabbed,
Waiting for a bloody cab.
Could well be a description of Aldershot, but it’s apparently inspired by Stevenage and Johnny Clarke’s heroin addiction.
Aldershot is obviously a poetic place though, being the home of Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, tennis playing love interest of top, top laureate poet Johnny Betjeman.
20 September 2013
Bobby SVARC
Sounds like Leicester,.
Just found out that my dad (Gordon Svarc) was based in Aldershot for 4 months in 1954
20 September 2013
Eugene Czauderna
There’s also a song by the Ian Campbell Folk group called ‘In bloody Orkney’ which also complains about practically everything. With a bloody appended.
23 September 2013
Dave Cooper
A game involving the reincarnated Aldershot FC remains the only football game during which I have spotted a real live badger.
25 September 2013
Android, eyes rolling
Who was it playing for?
26 September 2013
EXXO
Next season is the first time Tranmere will play in the same division as four other ‘Biscuit towns’. You’ll get three quite quickly – I’ve given you one of them just by posting in this thread – but without looking it up can you name the newly-promoted team who last week made it four?
[Clue: they play an innovative three-up-front formation]
17 May 2015
Bobby SVARC
Boreham Wood and Chester
17 May 2015
EXXO
Tonight’s attendance 4,126 (100 Aldershot).
And that roar at the final whistle just might be the sound of a corner being turned?
22 September 2015
Bobby SVARC
Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow…..Undefeatable!
23 September 2015
BrumbiscUit
Villa v Blues and only 28 arrests. What is the world coming to?
23 September 2015
bobby svarc
Kids in Aldershot.
13 February 2016
chris boardman
We (by which I mean Enfield FC, RIP) beat them 1-0 in the FA Cup 1st or 2nd round in about 1991 at their ground. The goal was at the end with nothing there. Graham Westley, slightly irritating and not very competent forward, was playing for us in the days before he became a slightly irritating and not very competent manager.
11 April 2017
Bobby svarc
Good Luck to Nigel with his big semi tonight.
3 May 2017
Brumbiscuit
Fnarr, fnarr!
3 May 2017
bobby svarc
Wem-ber-ley
3 May 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
Glad it’s not Aldershot again. Ebbsfleet are the form team, but AET & pens they’ve only got about 62 hours to prepare against a much fresher team. The play-offs really are getting fairer. Allez les blancs.
2 May 2018