“A phallic watering can, a packet of Triffid seeds, an ice rink for a model village, crucifixion nails, a pair of polo-necked jeans, a jar of language pills, a jigsaw of Nazi war criminals, post-apocalyptic Allen keys, a written curse of a witch from Oswestry, a signed photograph of former players’ agent Eric Hall – monster, monster.”
So… what do we know about Allen keys, in particular post-apocalyptic ones?
Acidic regulator
Allen Keys deserves his own entry in Bicciepedia. Wasn’t he a minor character in the Mad Max movies or something?
27 September 2013
CHARLES EXFORD
Possibly the first cycling-influenced entry in this A-Z? The search for a set of Allen keys which will work even on worn-out, almost circular bolt heads? Or is it the search for Allen keys that won’t wear out your bolt heads and cause them to become almost circular in the first place? An indestructible set that will stand up to all the stresses and strains that an apocalypse, even a particularly nasty one, can exert? A set from which the only one that the cyclist actually needs isn’t the only one that’s always missing? If anyone has it, then it is surely Bunners of Montgomeryshire!
27 September 2013
Bruce
They are a bugger if you’re trying to use an imperial set on metric heads; and vice-versa of course.
Actually change the words “They are a bugger” to “They will reduce you to tears of impotent rage”
27 September 2013
BrumBiscuit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Keyes
Shouldn’t it be “Allen (then that little circular R sign superscripted) Keys” being a registered trademark, and all that? Hex keys being the correct, though very little used, name for them.
27 September 2013
Dr Desperate
Like Coke ® .
27 September 2013
CARDINAL RICHELIEU
My 1st year Latin teacher was called Allan Keys. He was quite a legend. Appeared on Mastermind, Krypton Factor, and Small Talk (hosted by Ronnie Corbett in case you don’t remember it).
27 September 2013
Gok Wan acolyte
Allen Keys are also a staple these days of flat-pack furniture, I assume on the basis that you never have the correct size screwdriver handy. Presumably the post-apocalyptic variety are those required to put together the walls and gates of the new Jerusalem referred to in Chapter 21 of the Book of Revelation (no ‘s’), which is of course also known as the Book of the Apocalypse.
27 September 2013
Vendor Of Quack Nostrums
Seems to be a bit of dissing the Hex on this thread. Not having that. A particularly fine fastening. So long as you have the correct size and don’t exceed the maximum torque limit, your Allen key will never fail you. Just had a quick check in the shack. Could lay me hands on 31 of the little blighters without opening any of me toolboxes. Contented.
27 September 2013
Archie walker
allen keys….brother to alicia?
27 September 2013
Bobby SVARC
Allen is the son of Richard Keys
27 September 2013
2 Chevrons
Had to use one of said blighters today to heighten a basketball net – apparently I’ve been asked to do this for months. Had to find the right allen key. Went on a major hunt for the right one. 18 keys later … success. Didn’t realise how many I had, not a clue which one fits what bit of kit – but they are a clever implement.
28 September 2013
John the shorts
I wish you’ld left “Bunners” out of it until we reached B
29 September 2013
Mark C
Not much to add here other than my prospective son-in-law is called Alan Keys and every* drawer in my house has some sort of double ended allen key left over from a flat pack furniture kit.
* I’ve just checked – this is a true fact!
30 September 2013
Jake
Based on how many Allen keys I can find in comparison to the actual amount of handiwork I actually perform, I assume they can breed. Therefore, post-apocalyptic Allen keys will probably the dominant species of Earth once we’re all raptured/killed.
6 January 2014
chris boardman
A Lezyne SV5 allen key tool is the most useful very-compact allen key tool. Very good bit of kit for bike touring due to its weeny size. A 4, 5, or 6 mm is all you need for 95% of bike related activities.
11 April 2017