Sent all the nuclear weapons left behind after the collapse of the Soviet Union back to Moscow. Oh yes they did, you cynic. According to the most recent census, 70% of the population identify as Muslim, roughly the same as Burnley. Has one of the newest capitals in the world in Astana, which takes its name from the Kazakh for “Mr. Vinokourov says to please bend over while we inject you in the buttocks, beloved foreign cyclist .”
22 July 2015
Chris The Siteowner
A university mate of mine from the north-west took up TEFL as a complete mid-life career change, and to his own surprise, ended up in Kazakhstan. Left after a while, but missed the place so much he went back. Internet access (he knew the right people) meant he could also do some journalism work for me, but he outgrew us all and got his own gig on Kazakh TV, which was always highly amusing to watch.
22 July 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Quit the Asian Football Confederation to become cannon fodder in UEFA, for some reason. Accepting them was about as rational as a World Cup in Qatar, but UEFA has its world domination plans. Capital Astana is closer to Beijing than to the majority of UEFA countries, so it’s a ridiculous trip for most national sides.
22 July 2015
peter mcornithologist
Great stuff Chris. Had my mid-life excellence years ago and spent some time there. Train from Moscow to Astana was how I imagine a giant Kansas would look. Astana and her futuristic buildings are simply surreal. I understand your pal wishing to return as I was made welcome wherever I roamed.Furthermore I don’t think her cyclists are any more likely to cheat than those from any other nation.
22 July 2015
Mark
I lived and worked there for several years from 1999-2003, based in Almaty, which is set against the gorgeous backdrop of the Tien Shan mountains (the city is bidding to host the 2022 Winter Olympics). The showpiece capital, Astana, was very much a Potemkin village at that time. I was stunned at the transformation when I revisited in May this year and recognised only a handful of landmarks. The place is now a temple to modernist architecture and is somewhat soulless. It takes several hours to fly across the vast steppe that comprises most of the country. Not surprising that the Soviets used it as a nuclear and chemical weapons testing zone, which has left a nasty legacy for those communities around the test sites. Kazakhs are generally hospitable, although sometimes this can be excessive (described as terrorist hospitality), but some tensions exist between Russian and Kazakh nationals who make up the majority of the population (with a sprinkling of nationalities deported there in the Stalinist era).
As an aside, I always wondered when I played HMHB in the car travelling around Central Asia if I was the first to do so. I am certain that I introduced them to the locals on one of the world’s most remote islands in the South Pacific, but that’s another story for another day.
26 July 2015
peter mcornithologist
Almaty lost to Beijing in the bidding to host the 2022 Winter Olympics. I would have thought that the lack of snow may hinder some competitors. Even Vreni Schneider would struggle under such conditions.
1 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
Champions League. F.C Astana 4 Helsinki 3. Kazakhs march on. Barcelona beware.
6 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
Once the worlds 4th largest inland body of water ,the Aral Sea is now about one tenth of the size it was about 50 years ago. It has been suggested that this represents mans worst environmental disaster, the drying up being caused by river diversions . The Aral Sea as was no longer represents the Aral Sea as is.
11 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
F C Astana 90 minutes away from reaching the group stages of The Champions League. Dancing on the steppes in Kazahkstan today. History in the making.
19 August 2015
EXXO
Champions League games these days are preceded by the equivament Under-19 games. We note that Astana U-19 are 6-0 down at half-time at Benfica and wonder if tonight’s score may be similar for the grown-ups. Meanwhile we’re buying corners in the Asian market on bet365.
15 September 2015
EXXO
ker-ching on the corners – 19 – I know why I cheer them
Benfica U-19 52 efforts on goal (27 on target) FC Astana U-19 1 effort (0 on target)
8-0 seems a bit profligate after them stats.
I may well re-invest this evening.
15 September 2015
Bobby SVARC
Wolfsburg U19 wrecked my five-timer after being 2-0 up.
15 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Benfica and the rest be wary of the genius that is Foxi Kethevoama. Astanas prize possession,valued £1,500,000.
15 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Astana 2 Galatasaray 2. Probably not good enough . A bit unlucky that there isn’t an English team in their group.
30 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Kazakh leader,Mr.Nazarbayev,is meeting Cameron today. I trust he isn’t trying to get a few sneaky votes for Wilson in exchange for a bit of oil.
3 November 2015
EXXO
Kazaks 1-0 up early doors, but Benfica 5/2 DNB looks generous right now.
25 November 2015
EXXO
Kinell, 2-0.
Ah well would have settled for 12/1 DNB before KO, gona go back in.
25 November 2015
EXXO
2-2 No harm done. #value
25 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
Welsh Goth v Kazakhstan, Women Euro Championships. Wales -3 H/C @3/1
26 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
Kerching!! – Welsh Rockers
26 November 2015
paul f
Do you mean Kerrang?
27 November 2015
THIS LEADEN PAUL
Cash registers do not, generally speaking, go ‘Kerrang’. I suppose these days you could arrange for it to happen.
27 November 2015
paul f
Joke? Rockers? Oh never mind.
27 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
See 19 ££££
27 November 2015
peter mcornithologist
Tim Peake from Chichester will shortly hurtle into space from Baikonur in Kazakhstan. When he returns it will be the same old place.
14 December 2015
Two fat feet
Thanks for that, I’ve got earworm now.
14 December 2015
Dr desperate
Ground Control to Major Tim…
14 December 2015
peter mcornithologist
How times have changed since Yuri .Major Tim can listen to the music of his choice as he goes up up and away. He has chosen Queen,U2 and Coldplay. Once again Ode to Joyce is ignored.
15 December 2015
Mr wet underpants 89
To be fair I thought “What anodyne, clichéd shite” and that was without knowing which particular Coldplay abomination he was listening to. But to be fair, it’s all personal and I suppose something like National Shite Day or Depressed Beyond Tablets may have alarmed his colleagues somewhat.
15 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
I think Mileage Chart would have been the one that would have most worried me had I been one of his fellow astronauts (direct distance from Kazakhstan to the ISS is significantly less than Ullapool to Deal, though after the mesosphere it starts to crawl)
16 December 2015
mister tubbs
Felt sorry for this Kazakh shooter being serenaded by the Borat version of her national anthem, at some shooting event in Kuwait https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B39cenrIQW0
18 December 2015
Peter Mcornithologist
Major Tim returns soon to Earth. Kazahk news awaiting to ask what the feck have you been doing for 6 months.
17 June 2016
EXXO
11/4 for Astana to qualify is just daft.
Done all the Twumasi bets as well, with a bit of Congolese Unsworth on the side (Glaswegian loon)
16 August 2017
EXXO
That didn’t go very well. Last-ana tonight.
16 August 2017
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
After winning promotion to the big boys’ division in the IIHF World Junior Championships last year, The Kaz* found themselves in way over their heads this year. Lost by scores of 5-0, 8-2, 11-2, and 4-1 in group play, but avoided relegation by beating the even-worse Danes (who’d lost 14-0, 4-0, 4-0, and 4-0 in group play) in the best-of-three relegation round by the scores of 4-3 and 4-0. They will, of course, have to live with the shame of letting Denmark (q.v.) actually score on them.
Unfortunately, HMHB seems never to have mentioned Canada or Sweden in their songs, leaving me no platform to discuss their stunning upset losses in the first elimination round. And by “discuss” I mean laugh at and revel in.
*Yes, this is what I call their team. I think they like it.
4 January 2019
dR desperate
What about the “Swedish couple we befriended” in WH‽ (Actually, that was just an excuse to use an interrobang.)
5 January 2019
Featureless tv producer steve
True, Doctor. I had just checked the A-Z file and didn’t find Sweden. Perhaps CtSO will soon start adding proper adjectives (is that a thing?) to the list.
5 January 2019
This leaden paul
They renamed their capital city to Nur-Sultan to commemorate the retirement of President Nazarbayev. No change to the name of the cycling team as of yet.
3 July 2019
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Alas, this year’s IIHF WJC went poorly for our boys from the ‘Stan. Group play actually saw them improve, still going 0-4 mind, but reducing their goal differential from 28-5 to 21-7, which, while not drastic, is certainly an improvement in anyone’s analysis.
But unfortunately, The Kaz met Germany in the relegation round, and lost 0-4, 4-1, and 0-6, so it’s off to Division I next year. Let us all hope the 2022 tourney will see a triumphant return. Nobody needs the Austrians up here.
Meanwhile, the US lost in the first elimination round, and the Russians choked away a 3-1 third-period lead in the gold medal game, so the @#$%ing Canadians ended up victorious. So, pretty much a disastrous tournament all around.
As you were.
7 January 2020
featureless tv producer steve
The name of the capital has been changed back to Astana, delighting crossword constructors everywhere.
Having previously been known as Akmolinsk, Tselinograd, Akmola, Astana, and Nur-Sultan, it now holds the Guinness World Record for the city with the most name changes.
18 January 2023
Cawseetiger
Unrelated to the Camden gig, I received an email from the JPC informing me two tickets had become available. I’ve grabbed one and unless anyone else was on the said list I assume one is remains. Ta
19 January 2023
professor Abelazar Woozle
Akmolinsk got a mention in Tom Lehrer’s “Lobachevsky”.
19 January 2023
Dr desperate
Oy!
19 January 2023
EXXO
I’ll take your bait Steve with an easy one:
Lygos, Byzantios (Byzantium), Augusta Antonina, Alma Roma (New Rome), Constantinopolis (Constantinople), Kostantiniyye, Istanbul, Stamboul, Islambol, etc.
Ah, but it wasn’t my bait, Exxo. That little morsel of questionable information was provided by the great and grand repository of human knowledge we all know and love called Wikipedia.
In the immortal words of David St. Hubbins, “I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.”
20 January 2023
dr desperate
In point of fact, Astana holds the Guinness World Record for the most name changes of a capital city in the 20th century (only 3 times). Prior to that, Hanoi and Delhi (which includes the capital New Delhi) have both had 8 changes (Tống Bình → Long Đỗ → Đại La → Thăng Long → Đông Đô → Đông Kinh → Bắc Thành → Thăng Long → Hà Nội; Indraprastha → Qila Rai Pithora → Siri → Tughluqabad → Jahanpanah → Kotla Firoz Shah → Purana Qila → Shahjahanabad → Delhi).
THIS LEADEN PAUL
Sent all the nuclear weapons left behind after the collapse of the Soviet Union back to Moscow. Oh yes they did, you cynic. According to the most recent census, 70% of the population identify as Muslim, roughly the same as Burnley. Has one of the newest capitals in the world in Astana, which takes its name from the Kazakh for “Mr. Vinokourov says to please bend over while we inject you in the buttocks, beloved foreign cyclist .”
22 July 2015
Chris The Siteowner
A university mate of mine from the north-west took up TEFL as a complete mid-life career change, and to his own surprise, ended up in Kazakhstan. Left after a while, but missed the place so much he went back. Internet access (he knew the right people) meant he could also do some journalism work for me, but he outgrew us all and got his own gig on Kazakh TV, which was always highly amusing to watch.
22 July 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Quit the Asian Football Confederation to become cannon fodder in UEFA, for some reason. Accepting them was about as rational as a World Cup in Qatar, but UEFA has its world domination plans. Capital Astana is closer to Beijing than to the majority of UEFA countries, so it’s a ridiculous trip for most national sides.
22 July 2015
peter mcornithologist
Great stuff Chris. Had my mid-life excellence years ago and spent some time there. Train from Moscow to Astana was how I imagine a giant Kansas would look. Astana and her futuristic buildings are simply surreal.
I understand your pal wishing to return as I was made welcome wherever I roamed.Furthermore I don’t think her cyclists are any more likely to cheat than those from any other nation.
22 July 2015
Mark
I lived and worked there for several years from 1999-2003, based in Almaty, which is set against the gorgeous backdrop of the Tien Shan mountains (the city is bidding to host the 2022 Winter Olympics). The showpiece capital, Astana, was very much a Potemkin village at that time. I was stunned at the transformation when I revisited in May this year and recognised only a handful of landmarks. The place is now a temple to modernist architecture and is somewhat soulless. It takes several hours to fly across the vast steppe that comprises most of the country. Not surprising that the Soviets used it as a nuclear and chemical weapons testing zone, which has left a nasty legacy for those communities around the test sites. Kazakhs are generally hospitable, although sometimes this can be excessive (described as terrorist hospitality), but some tensions exist between Russian and Kazakh nationals who make up the majority of the population (with a sprinkling of nationalities deported there in the Stalinist era).
As an aside, I always wondered when I played HMHB in the car travelling around Central Asia if I was the first to do so. I am certain that I introduced them to the locals on one of the world’s most remote islands in the South Pacific, but that’s another story for another day.
26 July 2015
peter mcornithologist
Almaty lost to Beijing in the bidding to host the 2022 Winter Olympics. I would have thought that the lack of snow may hinder some competitors. Even Vreni Schneider would struggle under such conditions.
1 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
Champions League. F.C Astana 4 Helsinki 3. Kazakhs march on. Barcelona beware.
6 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
Once the worlds 4th largest inland body of water ,the Aral Sea is now about one tenth of the size it was about 50 years ago. It has been suggested that this represents mans worst environmental disaster, the drying up being caused by river diversions .
The Aral Sea as was no longer represents the Aral Sea as is.
11 August 2015
peter mcornithologist
F C Astana 90 minutes away from reaching the group stages of The Champions League. Dancing on the steppes in Kazahkstan today. History in the making.
19 August 2015
EXXO
Champions League games these days are preceded by the equivament Under-19 games. We note that Astana U-19 are 6-0 down at half-time at Benfica and wonder if tonight’s score may be similar for the grown-ups. Meanwhile we’re buying corners in the Asian market on bet365.
15 September 2015
EXXO
ker-ching on the corners – 19 – I know why I cheer them
Benfica U-19 52 efforts on goal (27 on target)
FC Astana U-19 1 effort (0 on target)
8-0 seems a bit profligate after them stats.
I may well re-invest this evening.
15 September 2015
Bobby SVARC
Wolfsburg U19 wrecked my five-timer after being 2-0 up.
15 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Benfica and the rest be wary of the genius that is Foxi Kethevoama. Astanas prize possession,valued £1,500,000.
15 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Astana 2 Galatasaray 2. Probably not good enough . A bit unlucky that there isn’t an English team in their group.
30 September 2015
peter mcornithologist
Kazakh leader,Mr.Nazarbayev,is meeting Cameron today. I trust he isn’t trying to get a few sneaky votes for Wilson in exchange for a bit of oil.
3 November 2015
EXXO
Kazaks 1-0 up early doors, but Benfica 5/2 DNB looks generous right now.
25 November 2015
EXXO
Kinell, 2-0.
Ah well would have settled for 12/1 DNB before KO, gona go back in.
25 November 2015
EXXO
2-2
No harm done.
#value
25 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
Welsh Goth v Kazakhstan, Women Euro Championships. Wales -3 H/C @3/1
26 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
Kerching!! – Welsh Rockers
26 November 2015
paul f
Do you mean Kerrang?
27 November 2015
THIS LEADEN PAUL
Cash registers do not, generally speaking, go ‘Kerrang’. I suppose these days you could arrange for it to happen.
27 November 2015
paul f
Joke? Rockers? Oh never mind.
27 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
See 19 ££££
27 November 2015
peter mcornithologist
Tim Peake from Chichester will shortly hurtle into space from Baikonur in Kazakhstan. When he returns it will be the same old place.
14 December 2015
Two fat feet
Thanks for that, I’ve got earworm now.
14 December 2015
Dr desperate
Ground Control to Major Tim…
14 December 2015
peter mcornithologist
How times have changed since Yuri .Major Tim can listen to the music of his choice as he goes up up and away. He has chosen Queen,U2 and Coldplay.
Once again Ode to Joyce is ignored.
15 December 2015
Mr wet underpants 89
To be fair I thought “What anodyne, clichéd shite” and that was without knowing which particular Coldplay abomination he was listening to. But to be fair, it’s all personal and I suppose something like National Shite Day or Depressed Beyond Tablets may have alarmed his colleagues somewhat.
15 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
I think Mileage Chart would have been the one that would have most worried me had I been one of his fellow astronauts (direct distance from Kazakhstan to the ISS is significantly less than Ullapool to Deal, though after the mesosphere it starts to crawl)
16 December 2015
mister tubbs
Felt sorry for this Kazakh shooter being serenaded by the Borat version of her national anthem, at some shooting event in Kuwait
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B39cenrIQW0
18 December 2015
Peter Mcornithologist
Major Tim returns soon to Earth. Kazahk news awaiting to ask what the feck have you been doing for 6 months.
17 June 2016
EXXO
11/4 for Astana to qualify is just daft.
Done all the Twumasi bets as well, with a bit of Congolese Unsworth on the side (Glaswegian loon)
16 August 2017
EXXO
That didn’t go very well. Last-ana tonight.
16 August 2017
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
After winning promotion to the big boys’ division in the IIHF World Junior Championships last year, The Kaz* found themselves in way over their heads this year. Lost by scores of 5-0, 8-2, 11-2, and 4-1 in group play, but avoided relegation by beating the even-worse Danes (who’d lost 14-0, 4-0, 4-0, and 4-0 in group play) in the best-of-three relegation round by the scores of 4-3 and 4-0. They will, of course, have to live with the shame of letting Denmark (q.v.) actually score on them.
Unfortunately, HMHB seems never to have mentioned Canada or Sweden in their songs, leaving me no platform to discuss their stunning upset losses in the first elimination round. And by “discuss” I mean laugh at and revel in.
*Yes, this is what I call their team. I think they like it.
4 January 2019
dR desperate
What about the “Swedish couple we befriended” in WH‽
(Actually, that was just an excuse to use an interrobang.)
5 January 2019
Featureless tv producer steve
True, Doctor. I had just checked the A-Z file and didn’t find Sweden. Perhaps CtSO will soon start adding proper adjectives (is that a thing?) to the list.
5 January 2019
This leaden paul
They renamed their capital city to Nur-Sultan to commemorate the retirement of President Nazarbayev. No change to the name of the cycling team as of yet.
3 July 2019
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Alas, this year’s IIHF WJC went poorly for our boys from the ‘Stan. Group play actually saw them improve, still going 0-4 mind, but reducing their goal differential from 28-5 to 21-7, which, while not drastic, is certainly an improvement in anyone’s analysis.
But unfortunately, The Kaz met Germany in the relegation round, and lost 0-4, 4-1, and 0-6, so it’s off to Division I next year. Let us all hope the 2022 tourney will see a triumphant return. Nobody needs the Austrians up here.
Meanwhile, the US lost in the first elimination round, and the Russians choked away a 3-1 third-period lead in the gold medal game, so the @#$%ing Canadians ended up victorious. So, pretty much a disastrous tournament all around.
As you were.
7 January 2020
featureless tv producer steve
The name of the capital has been changed back to Astana, delighting crossword constructors everywhere.
Having previously been known as Akmolinsk, Tselinograd, Akmola, Astana, and Nur-Sultan, it now holds the Guinness World Record for the city with the most name changes.
18 January 2023
Cawseetiger
Unrelated to the Camden gig, I received an email from the JPC informing me two tickets had become available. I’ve grabbed one and unless anyone else was on the said list I assume one is remains. Ta
19 January 2023
professor Abelazar Woozle
Akmolinsk got a mention in Tom Lehrer’s “Lobachevsky”.
19 January 2023
Dr desperate
Oy!
19 January 2023
EXXO
I’ll take your bait Steve with an easy one:
Lygos, Byzantios (Byzantium), Augusta Antonina, Alma Roma (New Rome), Constantinopolis (Constantinople), Kostantiniyye, Istanbul, Stamboul, Islambol, etc.
19 January 2023
dr desperate
Why did Constantinople get the works?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg
19 January 2023
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Ah, but it wasn’t my bait, Exxo. That little morsel of questionable information was provided by the great and grand repository of human knowledge we all know and love called Wikipedia.
In the immortal words of David St. Hubbins, “I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.”
20 January 2023
dr desperate
In point of fact, Astana holds the Guinness World Record for the most name changes of a capital city in the 20th century (only 3 times). Prior to that, Hanoi and Delhi (which includes the capital New Delhi) have both had 8 changes
(Tống Bình → Long Đỗ → Đại La → Thăng Long → Đông Đô → Đông Kinh → Bắc Thành → Thăng Long → Hà Nội;
Indraprastha → Qila Rai Pithora → Siri → Tughluqabad → Jahanpanah → Kotla Firoz Shah → Purana Qila → Shahjahanabad → Delhi).
20 January 2023