Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow.
Latest: Familiar faces in the crowd at Tranmere Rovers
Comments on site: 43221Comments awaiting approval: 0Comments in spam: 74
professor Abelazar Woozle on CAMRAGo »
I did initially try dribbles, but it didn’t look right which is why I went back to sticking closer to the form of Dali’s melting watch. I’ll have another play with it – the master file is a .psd with everything in layers so it’s easy to fiddle about with it and revert if it doesn’t work. Watch this space…
23 January 2021
Mark luetchford on Writing on the sole of your slipper with a biroGo »
I have more respect for this group for its casual ignoring of the classic line Mogul Thrash acetate.
And I think Dali would have appreciated the effect entailed of sticking an apple in your face to emulate a classic of surrealism – cor blimey.
dr desperate on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
I have. https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10225157749396607&set=a.1327563594928
Millard rausch on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
So…has anyone put Bernie on a HMHB album cover yet?
Alice van der meer on CAMRAGo »
The only thing I’d suggest is dribblier lettering on the CAMRA. But I’d definitely wear that.
22 January 2021
After a few false starts I think I’ve got my design basically there, though needing a bit more tweaking in photoshop to be ready to print. You can view the first draft here, all comments and suggestions for improvement welcome! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g2uV434-XqsKSy95ZkNWI9x1ErlPWVZI/view?usp=sharing
EXXO on The HMHB Friday QuizGo »
14 out of 28, 29 or 30 I meant to say. I’m not sure which.
Pulling out the 14 points out of a possible make you last week’s winner, though we’ll stagger on in case anyone else fancies a late blizzard of answers to the remaining legs.
You are totally correct on Q’s 5, 6, 9 (with your first answer) and 14 (three points for that one).
You have 3 of my 5 answers to Q.4, 4 of my 6 answers to Q.11 (your first 4), and on Q.12 you are correct on part (a).
transit full of keith on The HMHB Friday QuizGo »
correction to 9 – Capel Curig
1. – 2. A pure guess but this might be ‘It’s Cliched to Be Cynical At Christmas’ 3. – 4. What Made Colombia Famous, The Light At The End of the Tunnel, Time Flies By 5. ‘Downhill Lady’, Vreni Schneider. I’m going to guess she did slalom instead? 6. Bobsleigh? 7. Toboggan vs Bobsleigh, solo vs team event? 8. – 9. Ogwen Valley Mountain Rescue service, based in Betws-Y-Coed. 10. I guess Yosemite Valley also has a mountain rescue service? 11. Trespass (The Announcement) Lowe Alpine (Corgi Registered Friends) Paramo (Mod Diff V Diff) Bridgedale (Gwatkin) And more cryptically, Cotswold (Twydales Lament) Millets (Shite Day), (not sure whether the shop name is on a clothing label though, isn’t it Peter Storm?) 12. Guessing here, but Iceland (b) and Finland (a)? 13. – 14. spindrift (which can be water, snow or sand) 15. – 16. –
BOBBY SVARC on Garth CrooksGo »
A volunteering thing I’ve been doing turned magically overnight into a much-needed paid role this week (before I even knew it had) and so I’ve been a bit busy to prompt you for some answers Keith, but do fire away with the answers for your victory salvo of somewhere between 11 and 16 guns, any time you’re ready.
EXXO on Garth CrooksGo »
He picked Matip the week before Xmas, giving him a glowing write-up on how well he’d played in a match he hadn’t played in.
Anyway, as the self-proclaimed king on making cash from an LFC blip (which has been a while coming), they’re all in my team of the week, having earned me more cash since the 27th December than I’ve made from all punting in the last 2 years (and all work in the last 4 months). Burnley were 4/1 not to lose last night. United were 8/5 not to lose, Southampton, Newcastle, WBA, kerching, kerching. *Sings* “Bring on yer Manchester Uniteds, Bring on yer Cockneys by the score …”
At last, after all these years a joke from Garth Crooks, Jordan Henderson has made his Team of the Week
dr desperate on Benny HillGo »
Born Alfred Hawthorne Hill he was, in 1924 The same date as today, but 97 years before He died at home in Teddington, not far from Sue and Ted And haunts their anniversaries as they lie in their bed.
Lord leominster on SylvianGo »
Captain Sensible isn’t a fan. Extracts of between-song banter with the audience on the Captain’s album Live at the Milky Way (q.v.), 1994:
[This post contains language that might offend.]
Of a song request from the audience: “But it stinks worse than David Sylvian’s farts.”
Of the Captain’s band: “They’re a bunch of dirty old dossers. Look at that old turd there, look at him. Next week we’re getting David Sylvian in.”
“I’d like to do this song now this next one called Neat Neat Neat especially for Cliff Richard, and David Sylvian.”
“How long is it now I’ve been entertaining you people? Possibly too long. I should leave you to these new talented bands. Mind you, that David Sylvian’s talented, isn’t he? He’s very good, he is. The amount of great songs he’s written, oh crickey! I haven’t got a pen that would write enough song titles…As I was saying, Mr Sylvian, please, could you possibly write me another one of those great songs that you write? Nothing to do with all the makeup and the lipstick and his hairspray and all this shit. Nothing to do with that. I know I talk bullshit most of the time but on this one I’m right! David Sylvian is a fucking wanker!”
“Thank you very much. Peace and love. Thank you very much. If David Sylvian’s out there he can bugger off.”
21 January 2021
transit full of keith on MozzerGo »
How does he poach his eggs? Until that yolk isn’t runny any more.
hendrix-tattoo on MozzerGo »
What does Mozzer have on his toast? I don’t know but Johnny Marr-might.
I’ll get my coat again….
nige on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Lets not Look Dad Saucy Haulage Ballads Editors recommendations Eno No regrets
20 January 2021
Cream CHEESE AND chives on Beware of the band who type out their set listsGo »
Gloria by Laura Brannigan was played backstage in the warm up to Trump’s fateful incitement before the attack on the Capitol. Various acolytes and members of the swarm were jigging arhythmically to it.
dr desperate on Beware of the band who type out their set listsGo »
Also used, coincidentally, in Them’s (q v) ‘Gloria’.
You’d win that classical, choral bet, @Exxo. Sir Elton’s chords were in the mixolydian mode (G alternating with C), the modern version of which was based on one of the church modes of mediaeval chant theory.
PARSFAn on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Cheers Parsfan, so Trumpton Riots, having come true at Capitol Hill recently, is also an EP on CD.
I don’t know but maybe not, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. I only have it bundled in with Back In The DHSS.
Are Let’s Not and Look Dad the only released CD singles then?
Again, I don’t know for sure, but you might be right. I think the only other possibility would be No Regrets. I only have it on vinyl but I think it came out after Let’s Not so it’s feasible.
12 different Peel Sessions on CD?! Crikey, your Kershaw and Lard (no idea what that is) are CD’s too are they?
Nope, none of them are. They’re sessions recorded off the radio and/or downloaded from the internet.
POP-TART MARK on Hear the word ‘aplomb’ being usedGo »
Having used “aplomb” for Antonio’s winner tonight, the BT sports commentator (Darren Fletcher?) then re-deployed it for his final tabloid-headline-style summing-up at the final whistle. I bet it was the producer who had spotted the rhyme and slipped him the cringeworthy line: “Antonio played with aplomb against West Brom.”
19 January 2021
POP-TART MARK on Jim BeglinGo »
Beglin a couple of minutes ago: “Chillwell is homesick – he’s home, but he’s sick of what’s happening.”
Uncle joe on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
transit full of keith on A dot com sitcom about a hip hop chip shopGo »
My extra justification for going to the HMHB gig in Lincoln a while back was to spend the afternoon in the county archive looking through old handbills and posters for stuff printed by Robert Ely Leary, an ancestor of mine who was a printer there in the 19th century.
Apart from lurid accounts of crimes & executions, and ‘A Correct account of the dreadful RIOT’ at Lincoln race course in 1831, one of the best artefacts was exactly a very similar-sounding poster for the Lincoln ‘PEACE REJOICINGS’ in 1856. The ‘RUSTIC SPORTS’ listed included A NOVEL DONKEY RACE (‘To be ridden by Boys backwards’, CLIMBING A SOAPED POLE (‘The Party arriving first at the Top to carry off a LEG OF MUTTON, which will be there Placed, for his Prize’, TREACLE BUNS (‘Boys eating One in the Shortest Time’), etc. I don’t know if anyone asked about the “much much more” and was greeted with awkward silence though
EXXO on A dot com sitcom about a hip hop chip shopGo »
Excellent Keith. Another Silver Biscuit nomination, at least, surely.
As for Mr. B’s interest in such matters, as Stuart Maconie says in that chapter about parks, I thoroughly expect some 19th century village fair contest to appear as a song title sooner rather than later. I used to have a poster on my wall from Cambs Folk Museum that was a reproduction of the bill for the Soham Village Victory Carnival of 1815. From distant memory, “Grinning through a ring” was one contest and “chasing a piglet with soaped tail” was another standard of such events. Some such will surely be a song title.
Eric T'viking on Swan, theGo »
Plucky pensioner in near-miss with dive-bombing swan:
18 January 2021
dr desperate on A dot com sitcom about a hip hop chip shopGo »
Excellent find, @TFoK, far from minor!
paul f on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Once upon a time there was a Johnnie Walker session on Gez’s site (Doreen and Whit Week Malarkey). I have it on a CD somewhere but don’t know if it’s available online these days. Johnnie discussed TRFC, Neil Diamond and Gaffer tape with Nigel before memorably signing off with the phrase “Half Moon Half Biscuit”.
Another minor unearthing, on Google books you can find the following snippet, from “The English Fair” by David Kerr Cameron (a book about the history of fairs from Anglo-Saxon times to the present):
“… a boisterous fling that broke the drudgery of the downstairs maid, became a polite talking-point in genteel drawing – rooms and later a subject for scandalous gossip for days after the rides and gallopers had moved on – but today …”
Unfortunately it doesn’t let you extract the whole page or sentence. There are old copies of the book around online for a couple of quid if you’re interested in that kind of thing.
Parsfan on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Uncle Joe, you missed Trumpton Riots.
Look Dad only has three tracks so the same as Let’s Not.
I have 12 Peel sessions, two Kershaws and a Lard.
17 January 2021
By the way, ta to Bobby Svarc for the transcript of Channel 9’s footy results from the Fast Show (Feb 12th) which reminded me of the thread about “aplomb” which hopefully culminated in Ron Manager’s timeless “As sure as eggs is eggs, mantle with aplomb”. And The Day Today’s horse racing odds too for some reason (Zeinab Badawi’s Twenty Hotels 9/2, Onion Terror 33/1 etc).
And someone mentioned Viz – don’t get me started…
Uncle Joe on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Thanks Pop-Tart Mark!
How many CD singles are there by the way? I’m assuming that the 4 EP’s mentioned are Look Dad No Tunes, Eno Collaboration, Editor’s Recommendation and Saucy Haulage Ballads – how many CD singles are there? I’ve only got Let’s Not. And how many Peel Sessions, just the one?
Bearing in mind how deep some of the chats go and how almost impossible some of the quizzes I’ve seen are (and I’m not that shabby at remembering stuff and have listened to the whole canon a fair amount), surely someone at some point has broken down the amount of mentions the different sports get? Football way ahead with probably about 1,500 but after that? And to my increasingly obviously limited knowledge, the great game of Rugby League fails to get a single mention (even though the shithouse other code gets at least 3 I can think of) – please tell me I’m wrong?
For the mate that got me into going to see them live, I thought I’d do him a little game of anagrams of names of people mentioned in the songs (I know, but lockdown etc) and thought it might be fun to put some on here but now realise that would be utter child’s play to the cognoscenti having seen some of said quizzes – has this been done before?
FerencvÁros fan on GazzaGo »
Reasonably aware of David Olusoga’s backstory, and I don’t think there is too much commonality in our music tastes, but it was worth listening to the episode of DIDs on catch up for the Gazza story alone. Thanks for the steer, Exxo.
16 January 2021
Half Matt, half Byrne on Junior Kick StartGo »
“since God were a lad”
Perhaps that’s the suggestion of being eligible for Junior Kicstart rather than the adults?
hendrix-tattoo on FrippGo »
Chapel hat pegs….
EXXO on GazzaGo »
Shed a tear more than once in the brilliant David Olusoga episode of Desert Island Discsthis morning, but the most exquisite and unexpected moment was the Gazza story.
15 January 2021
EXXO on Bowling my left-arm occasionals againGo »
Possibly the greatest episode of that show I’ve ever heard. I could post about it in several threads on here, but I reckon I’ll do the Gazza one.
TRANSIT FULL OF keith on The HMHB Friday QuizGo »
I reckon I’ve got 11 definites, with some guesses taking it up to a possible 16.
eric t'viking on FrippGo »
If there was a dynamo on that bike, she could be charging his amp (not a euphemism).
Mr Stone on Bowling my left-arm occasionals againGo »
Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs with guest David Olusoga, played Aunt Molly Jackson singing “Roll on Buddy” from the album “Songs of Hard Times, from the Alan Lomax Archive.”
Very much like the Tyrolean Knockabout melody, I think.
dr desperate on MC5Go »
Five weeks after they played Bedford College, London, supported by (among others) Jake Thackray.
OK be honest, how many of these winter-themed questions, inspired by the heaviest snowfall round here for several years (and which has stopped me from doing my thing today), can you get without googling/looking them up, including looking up the lyrics and titles of songs? 28 answers, just tell us how many you think you got please (not the actual answers).
1. Which HMHB song with a snowy scene refers to a 1977 TV series? 2. Which HMHB song with refers to a wintry episode in a 1970 TV series? 3. Which bleak HMHB song contains the solution to a wintry problem in which other HMHB song? 4. “An altogether more different snow.” Name five different HMHB songs which mention or allude to cocaine. 5. What, pedantically, is inaccurate about HMHB’s description of Switzerland’s greatest ever winter sportswoman? 6. Which winter Olympic sport referred to in HMHB lyrics can you have a go at on stag weekends in Riga with heavy-drinking rugby pals? 7. Which winter sport is practised (including on stag weekends) at the famous Cresta (what the fuck were we drinking) Run? How is it different from a the quite similar sport mentioned by HMHB? 8. Which HMHB-referenced football club did not discipline a star player when he broke strict club rules to go skiing about 4 years ago? Think they felt sorry for him ‘cos his mansion was burgled while he was away. 9. If the hapless climber in Mod. Diff, V.Diff had a winter fall on the south slopes of Glyder Fach or Glyder Fawr, we would call Llanberis, quick as we could. Which HMHB-referenced place would we call if he was stuck on the north side of the same peaks? 10. In the same song, another Valley-based rescue team are alluded to – who are they? 11. At least six brands of winter outdoor wear are name-checked in at least six HMHB songs – which songs? 12. Three countries with territory in the arctic circle are name-checked in HMHB songs. Which of them has: (a)the highest proportion of its territory in the Arctic Circle? (b)the most northerly point of all the three countries? (two different answers) 13. You can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage, as any fule kno. But what (alluded to in another HMHB song) can only be imported to Amsterdam from Inuit sources? 14. On the Beaufort scale, a Force Eight gale causes which HMHB-referenced phenomenon? Secondly, after this original meaning, which other two substances can the term for this phenomenon refer to? 15. “As pure as the proverbial driven sleet.” There are various different definitions of sleet. In which sense of the word can it be considered the opposite of snow? 16. Which HMHB-referenced creature began its lyrical evolution in live versions, as its own domesticated descendant?
Lofts for the outstanding pigeons from Round 9 were in (e) The West End of Derby (n) Chelsea again (as in England, Chelsea, Accy Stanley and … Barça, all armchair-supported by the hapless and the moribund).
An essential expedition to Ilkley today has been postponed amid fears of the 20 miles taking 3 hours (as it would have done yesterday, challenging stuff in a council electric van), so I should be able to cobble something quizzical together for today’s Late Lunch audience.
Was that drawing on the cover of a tape they put out? I’ve got a copy of it lurking somewhere… Yes, the Buttermountains were a fine band back in the day, used to see them and You Slosh (one time Bad Shepherd Troy Donockley’s original band) at the Stage Door in Scarborough.
14 January 2021
tony fryer on CAMRAGo »
Still not dead yet. Regarding Viz and T shirts, way back when I was doing my bit with the PA system, one of the bands we used to do regularly was The Buttermountain Boys, a fine outfit out of York. One of their mates used to do some artwork for Viz and he did a T shirt for the band with the legend “Viz apparently presents The Buttermountain Boys” with a drawing of the band underneath. Still got mine, bit small now though. Probably a collectors’ item now.
POP-TART MARK on Pre-Gig Chat (2019–2021 gigs)Go »
Turn a Blind Eye.
13 January 2021
Hope everyone’s coping without a live outing since Northampton last Feb, most of the 11 newbies I brought along very much enjoyed themselves.
A little help please, what’s that song that sort of goes “They came for the martial artists but I’m not a martial artist so I didn’t care” etc. I’ve looked down the entire song list but nothing rings a bell as I’m not over familiar with all 205.
Click here to see what people are saying about HMHB on Twitter.
This site wouldn't be what it is without you.
The index to everything on the site.
The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project website © 2007—2021 Chris Rand • All lyrics are the property of their owners Site Home • Top of Page • About/Contact