I’d saved doing the lyrics to Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves because it’s one of my favourite Half Man Half Biscuit songs, and I always thought the lyrics would look great, transcribed in full. I assumed others might have thought likewise, but how wrong I was – whereas there are hundreds of (bad) transcriptions of, say, The Trumpton Riots material on the web, Tour Jacket was nowhere to be found – so this is yet another first for this site. And what a first! A cautionary tale, in prose, full of marvellous references to obscure footy, prog rock and more, spoken in a way which would put many professional actors to shame (try reading it out loud yourself). And once again, an everyday tale which we can all relate to. Well, until the end. Genius.
See lyrics to Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves
Daryl
fantastic job
3 May 2008
Munich
Love it! Well done.
1 January 2009
Bill Stow
‘Tour Jacket’ lyrics need an addition
After ‘..a Dogs D’amour concert’
add ‘ ..which she went to with her …’
14 January 2009
chesneywold
Almost a curse of HMHB bit but no one was injured.
1 February 2009
Bill Stow
Third verse line 7 – ‘it seemed like’ should be ‘ it seemed that’
13 February 2009
Daryl
I like to think that Nigel only had the knackered man/Jan Akkerman pun in the beginning. He then had to construct a convoluted tale about going to see prog rock tribute bands so he could get that brilliant line in and not have it be a complete non-sequitur.
Still would have been a fantastic non-sequitur, though…
25 August 2010
Shirley Dimensions
he trims his hedge with non-sequiturs. Now, where did I put that coat?
26 August 2010
Ceri
Since it’s a Kubrick reference, “real horror show” should read “real horrorshow”.
8 March 2011
Mr Larrington
I’d like to think it’s Burgess rather than Kubrick.
8 March 2011
Ceri
Of course.
9 March 2011
Dagenham dave
I can’t quite believe this but I’ve only just made sense of the ‘Travis by Cartel’ line, I really must pay more attention.
13 June 2011
Rubber Faced Irritant
The June issue of The Word has a letter from ‘Chris H’ citing Jan Akkerman as a noble and righteous cause that deserves championing. His website reveals he played Southampton in April and was an “intense and exciting treat”. I hope the attendees checked the credentials of the driver before boarding the bus home. More Jan Akkerman news at http://www.janakkerman.nl
13 July 2011
Martin A
I’ll use my first post on this site to agree that ‘horrorshow’ should be one word.
Also in A Clockwork Orange, ‘horrorshow’ is used to mean good (coming from the Russian word ‘horosho’), whereas the narrator of this song uses it to express disappointment. This may be a deliberate mistake of course.
7 March 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Elizabeth Price: from indie band Talulah Gosh to the Turner prize
In recent years, people have talked less about their music than the surviving members’ subsequent careers, which seem to underline just how far removed from the traditional notion of rock’n’roll Talulah Gosh were. Singer and guitarist Amelia Fletcher is now chief economist and director of mergers at the Office of Fair Trading. Guitarist Peter Momtchiloff is senior commissioning editor for philosophy at the Oxford University Press. Singer Eithne Farry is a literary critic. And now one of them (singer Elizabeth Price) has won the Turner prize. In that sense at least, Talulah Gosh might be one of the most over-achieving indie bands in history.
(I’ll move this to the appropriate A-Z entry when we get to “T” in about 100 years’ time – Ed)
23 January 2014
CHARLES EXFORD
Craig’s excellent labour-of-amor translation of these lyrics into Spanish (in the translations thread) has made me ask something I’ve meant to ask for years: if the narrator of this one is going through a “Clockwork Orange phase”, how come he uses the phrase “real horrorshow” to actually express horror, rather than the approbation conveyed by Burgess’ phrase, borrowed from the Russian word for ‘good’ (it’s like Burgess saw the way words like ‘wicked’ were going to develop in modern slang)?
26 February 2014
Floreat Ultonia
Wait a minute. Bridge Street? The overhead railway Bridge Street? Oh my God – HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLENNNNNNNNNN…”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-29948166
7 November 2014
Slow dempsey
A couple of bits of pedantry. We have another example of an extraneous capital in “Dads” and if “short-lived” is entitled to its hyphen, can “much-maligned” have one too?
12 November 2014
This leaden paul
This.
Oh.
My.
God.
7 December 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Surely one of the greatest PBRs in history. Where do you begin?
7 December 2014
dickhead in quicksand
It would only take an editorial correction to the street name to make my day complete. Has anyone got a suitable account with which to post the obvious comment on that article?
7 December 2014
Phil the hmhb completist
and to cap it all, a ghost tale a la ‘Phantom Hitchhiker’ ..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanishing_hitchhiker
11 January 2015
Dr Desperate
This mash-up of ‘The Gift (With Detachable Sleeves)’ is rather fine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb1rc5DG7l8
27 March 2015
EXXO
OMG Helen how come I have failed hitherto to proclaim that it should be “_T_he Identical Cocteau Twins”.?
14 April 2015
Tedgeworth PLABB
Pedantry and trivia.
Firstly, I think it is spelt “aping”, not “apeing”.
Also, the vocalist in Dogs d’Amour is called Timothy Taylor. A CAMRA man?
31 May 2015
paul f
All human knowledge appears to lie within the Biscuit fanbase. Every time I think of something to add it’s already here. Having come to Godcore rather late in life, I was moved to point out that the Clockwork Orange meaning of “horrorshow” was positive rather than negative, only to find out that the issue had been settled three years ago.
19 October 2015
deen 3man
Nice to see the reference to PFM. Went to see them play a free summertime show 4 years ago in Turin, but was cancelled due to a rainstorm of Amazonian proportions. Was that bloody curse of hmhb!! Cheers for cancelling my evening of swing, lads 🙁
25 October 2015
floreat ultonia
While passing through Birkenhead town center yesterday (as I do regularly, en route to the Belfast ferry terminal) I noticed for the first time that while Bridge Street has a station on the local railway line, both are underground. Which rather contradicts “the overhead railway Bridge Street” line- although of course BH is a large town and may have had repetitive or unimaginative town planners in the past. Belfast, by comparison, has six streets, a bridge, long-established university and various parks etc. commemorating Mrs Drina Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.
24 March 2016
IdrisdachisEller
I sometimes take my 2 year old for a drive in the car if I need to lull her to sleep quickly. Last night, I was listening to this one on the iPod and was filled with fatherly pride when she did the “Oh My God!!! Helennn!!!!!” bit. Word perfect, it was, with propper feeling and everything. Mind, she did insist on a “girl song” afterwards so we had to listen to Helen Love till she drifted off.
29 May 2016
Knackered Man
Life imitates art
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-42435613
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLENNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
21 December 2017
Brumbiscuit
I have a colleague who decided to drive a 9-ft-tall minibus under a 7-ft-tall bridge here: https://goo.gl/maps/Tc9VCxvNfqv The image doesn’t do it justice, as high vehicles have a very clear warning sign and even a flashing light to warn them on the approach. I assume the Google cameravan was too tall.
Anyway, said colleague was sent a link to TJWDS after the incident and, remarkably, didn’t seem all that appreciative…
22 December 2017
Brumbiscuit
Actually, it was probably from this side: https://goo.gl/maps/YW763oXJm7D2
22 December 2017
kittymc
It’s a long long time since I listened to this, just got the urge tonight, partly prompted by seeing Jackie (who ISN’T unstable) for the first time in ages at the Liverpool gig last Friday. Seems even funnier now than it did years ago. Also, had forgotten how good ‘Godcore’ is.
Anyhow, to the point, then read the thread on this for the first time and came across this from 2010 (post number 7):
“he trims his hedge with non-sequiturs. Now, where did I put that coat?”
Shirley Dimensions, you still on this site? What voodoo??
6 October 2018
Jonathan
Who are the band PFM that are mentioned?
16 October 2019
dr desperate
http://www.halfmanhalfbiscuit.uk/a-to-z-pfm/
(The ‘Search this site’ facility is quite handy, @Jon.)
16 October 2019
Bad loser
And another one.
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/bus-roof-ripped-railway-bridge-22263669
27 June 2020
Pirx The Purist
Surprised that no-one has mentioned the (in)famous 11ft 8in bridge in North Carolina.
Although it has recently been raised to 12ft 4in.
28 June 2020
lord leominster
As we boarded, I immediately felt a little uneasy, as the driver was none other than The Saint.
https://youtu.be/XzwXNvMyZd8
29 June 2020
lord leominster
I meant to say skip to 1:30 if you want to get straight to the point.
29 June 2020
transit full of keith
Extra points for the driver who managed to pull this off within 100 yards of HMHB gig venue, Cambridge Junction:
https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/guided-busway-crash-cambridge-bus-19274817
13 November 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
(… with nobody hurt, fortunately).
13 November 2020
ALICE van der meer
It’s a bit of a loose connection, and it nearly ended up under Asparagus Next Left for that reason, but this article made me smirk before it got all serious and band speak-y.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-56920871
I wonder how many other bands have been to see their tribute band? I do know that Dave Pegg got to see Fairport one year because they played an entire album he hadn’t been in the band for, so he wandered down front with a shandy, but that’s not quite the same thing (I think mentioning Fairport is OK after that Staurt Maconie book, hopefully one or two of you will still talk to me)
30 April 2021
transit full of keith
I’ll also admit to liking a bit of Fairport, even though they sometimes seem a bit too “heritage”, like the National Trust. I’ll tend to skip to the next track when the quarter-hour jig starts though. The Sandy Denny era is best. I like the “The Bonny Black Hare”, as does Finbarr Saunders.
30 April 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Being the rare HMHB fan who actually loves the Godcore album, I gave it a full listen tonight. And while it provided the all the enjoyment it always does, I decided to follow along closely to the lyrics of Tour Jacket to make sure I had memorized it correctly.
Ergo, pedantry demands that I point out that it should be “every band that WERE performing” (because surely NB10 didn’t take this rare opportunity to slip into American English).
Also, perhaps more debatably, I hear ” Although I’D turned Helen on to the alternative music scene.” It makes more sense grammatically, and I do hear the D sound in there. Anyone agree?
7 August 2022
dr desperate
“Were” yes, “I’d” no.
How about “aping”?
7 August 2022
EXXO
Agree with you re spelling there Doc. But Steve is also right on both counts.
What he’s wrong about is that as an example of someone who would probably have ‘Godcore’ low on the list of favourite HMHB albums, I/we do not love it dearly, think it is ace or thoroughly enjoy admiring its gems on regular occasions.
7 August 2022
parsfan
I recently read fingers crossed, Lush’s Miki Berenyi’s book. No mention of the our Four Lads but some good road stories.
Our first experience was on the Ride tour a year earlier. Not only was it our first full-length US tour, it was also our driver’s – a former pilot who was switching careers. Ron had motored from Florida to Boston and, on his maiden voyage, misjudged the height of his vehicle while driving under a bridge. We spent the first week with the front half of the roof missing, the gap covered in plastic sheeting flapping furiously in the highway winds.
No mention of anyone called Helen.
10 September 2023