The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

The Best Things In Life

My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man
And his wife’s a touch sceptical too
They’ve got one of those stickers in the back of their van
It says “We’ve seen the prices at the zoo”

Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing
And Charlie launched a scathing attack
When I asked him what I’d done, he said
“You stupid bastard, we live in a cul-de-sac”

Went to Dali’s party, it was fancy dress
I just stuck an apple in my face
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
Reckoned he’d beat Gagarin into space
He said “Hi there Salv
Like I’m sorry I’m late
But I was getting done up
As a Mogul Thrash acetate”

Me, I got bored
So I went home
Got into bed
And came to the conclusion…

There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub