Stavanger Töestub is a very funny pisstake of nu-/thrash/godknowswhat metal which doesn’t outstay its welcome at 24 seconds either. According to the booklet (so I’m told, as all my CDs have been up in the loft for ages), the lyrics are:
Bastard doorstep sockless stupid
Kill your laughter pain is brutal
Can’t walk properly for a fortnight
Deus Deus
Norway Reds in Bluecoat Chambers
The pain, oh Momma the pain, worse even than when I cut open
My kneecap on the freshly gritted slope and our village doctor
Cleaned out the wound with a wire brush
So now BANG BANG BANG goes my PLAN (plan plan) to woo the peg lady.
Colossal drag
Teach. Me. To. Go Barefoot.

…but of course they’re not. Nor are they “suitable for work”, as the saying goes. Thanks to Fredorrarci, Sanchez and Zertrudetrout

See lyrics to Stavanger Töestub