Visitor for Mr Edmonds is presumably the sound of beardy’s career/heart monitor wobbling and fading. To date, the composition has not reduced him to the same state of (de)composition as writing about Messrs Hull, Fisher, Jackson, Gerulaitis etc. Oh well. As there’s not much else to say, perhaps I can encourage you all to visit Word magazine’s attempt to revive Peely’s Festive Fifty, and vote for your favourite CSI:Ambleside selection!
See lyrics to Visitor for Mr Edmonds
Chris The Siteowner
The following comments were originally made on the wrong page (thanks Neil G) and have been transplanted here by the same team of surgeons who were playing golf while Mr Edmond’s heart monitor went beep. Sorry!
@Fredorrarci:
You’re one beep short, I think.
Just kidding…
@Daryl:
I’ve always wondered if this was a message in Morse Code. Probably not though… Any ideas?
@Neil G:
This is great. Now I can sing along.
@Richard:
I always thought this was about someone murdering Noel Edmonds – as the beeps quicken (presumambly when the muderer comes in and turns off the life support) then, Edmonds dies. Am I being too macabre/optimistic? Fantastic site btw, keep up the great work
@Dave F.:
I always assumed the ‘visitor’ was The Grim Reaper. No need to turn anything off, just wait for the sand to drop through…
@Paul F:
I’m with Richard on this.
24 November 2008
Paul F
Looking (hopefully) for the lyrics to “Emerging from Gorse” I noticed “Visitor for Mr Edmonds” does not have a link yet from the album listing.
Can I take this opportunity to make a personal request for “Emerging from Gorse”? Surely: “‘Coz you can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage” is the best line in the history of the English language.
26 November 2008
Max Williams
re the visitor, I always assumed it was Nigel.
28 November 2008
Richard
Hmm I cant see Nigel as a murderer. I guess finishing off Edmonds would be more of a mercy killing.
29 November 2008
TWO FAT FEET
I always heard it as ‘bip’ not ‘beep’.
Could be one of Nigel’s idiosyncratic pronunciations.
6 April 2010
Jimbo
I wondered whether it was connected to the death of Michael Lush, four years before the album was released in a telly stunt organised by a TV programme that Edmonds used to host, with the unfortunately apt name of The Late, Late Breakfast Show.
Michael Lush died instantly from his injuries when the carabiner clip attaching his bungee rope to a crane sprang loose as he jumped and subsequently hit the ground at great speed. So he would never have been on a life support machine but I still feel there’s some mileage in the link.
26 April 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Fourteen years, not four. Interesting connection to make but I suspect it’s far enough out to give Ronnie Boyce a run for his money.
26 April 2011
Big Nose
Not sure you get the final “p”? Therefore I think the correct lyric should be:
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Some may disagree, but at least it’s another way to take the p out of Mr Edmonds, which is always a good thing.
15 December 2011
Paul SUTCLIFFE
Only just heard this track, very refreshing, is there an extended mix of it? Would be great on a pub jukebox.
25 July 2014
knackered man
According to some R4 show the other day, Life support machines and their ilk only blip on the pulse / heartbeat. In between there’s no noise, so when someone snuffs it, there’s silence, not a Beeeeeeeeeeeep.
Casualty, Holby etc are replete with this error, much to the annoyance of various health workers tuning in for a busmans.
19 January 2016
FLintlock
Unless an alarm goes off when no pulse is detected.
20 January 2016
TOASTKID
On QI they said that the constantly bleeping heartrate monitor is a myth: ie, they don’t bleep for every heartbeat, and are silent if the patient is healthy. As Flintlock says, an alarm may sound if the heart rate drops.
Assuming this is correct, the more accurate version of Visitor would be several seconds of silence followed by an alarm which stays consistent for the rest of the track. I don’t know what the alarm sounds like.
20 January 2016
TOASTKID
I’d agree with Big Nose that the “flatline” sound at the end is “beeeee…”, not “beeep” though, since it doesn’t end (rather, is cut off).
20 January 2016
Peter mcornotholgist
Pensioner comes home .One of his highlights is watching countdown with the oft fascinating ramblings of Susie Dent. Replaced by the most inane programme I have ever suffered . Deal or no deal? Bearded nonentity with a baying herd of Christening Party Arseholes.
17 October 2016
Chris The Siteowner
You’ll need to put aside half an hour or more for this, but it is quite remarkable: Stephen Nolan interviewing Noel Edmonds this week. Mentions of suicide make the track under discussion here rather less comfortable. But you’ll learn how we’re all made out of vibrating energy, and stuff.
11 February 2018
Bobby Pancake
This was the ‘lost stanza’ from the ‘First Noel’, a Georgian Folk arrangement which first appeared in ‘Carolgees Ancient and Modern’ published in 1823. The hymn was set in a workhouse in St Austell at Christmastide, and recounted the tale of the celebrities that would pitch up there unannounced to get some seasonal coverage from local Cornish newspapers. This lost stanza was meant to recreate the sound of a horse drawn manure buggy backing up to the workhouse window where the unwitting celebrity was sitting for a sketch artist, but was dropped when the original publishers realised that mechanical warning beeping of that nature didn’t actually exist at that time.
11 February 2018
EXXO
Bobby your contributions make me appreciate forums with ‘like’ buttons in a way that I never did before, because there are no words (and I think that’s why nobody ever quite knows what to say in response). Out of the eggs, milk and flour of your prose comes the most exquisite poetry.
Meanwhile: urgh, shudder. Stephen Nolan.
11 February 2018