The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day

Outside Goldsmiths’ coughing up blood,
Turner Prize judge gasps “Christ that’s good”
Leave it as it is, it’ll get first place
We’ll call it ‘A Full Shift at the Coalface’
Oh well you’re neither a Stuckist or a YBA
And you’re no longer a miner as of today

Praise for the wardens ready to fine
Anyone caught saying ‘graphic design’
Rag-mag seller said I’d be in pleats
Only when he’d been cleaned from the streets
Oh I could squeeze my lemon ’til my blues went away
If I had possession over Pancake Day

Give a philosophy student a glass of limeade
And he will say “Is this a glass of limeade?”
And “If so, why is it a glass of limeade?”
And after a while, he’ll die of thirst