Petty Sessions is just abject silliness to the tune of Hokey Cokey. But the chorus about Dial-A-Pizza is genius.
See lyrics to Petty Sessions
Petty Sessions is just abject silliness to the tune of Hokey Cokey. But the chorus about Dial-A-Pizza is genius.
See lyrics to Petty Sessions
bug
Does anyone know the significance of ‘Bart, Elvis and the baby’?
Or is it just HMHB being as reassuringly random as ever?
3 May 2008
chris
It’ll be a reference to a selected costumes worn by the “Barmy” army of supporters at England cricket matches…
3 May 2008
bug
That explains it – my knowledge of cricket is somewhat nil.
Thanks!
4 May 2008
Martin
Agreed about the Dial-A-Pizza – it’s genius. It’s also, worryingly, just the sort of thing I’d do. I accept that I have no life.
Now, everything between “Facebook” and “252”. What’s it all about? We’re obviously having a swipe at someone, I just can’t really work out who.
9 May 2008
Stuart
I guess it’s an attack on those twenty something new mediaites who introduce their folks to the world of the PC whilst eating a ‘Brie & Grape’ baguette from Pret. More money than sense the lot of em…
But, the hymn bit I have no idea….
30 May 2008
Tom
I don’t think there’s any significance to the number 252. It just makes me laugh because Hymns are generally about, y’know, thanking God and praising Jesus etc. and we’re supposed to be giving thanks for the likes of the Facebook mum.
2 July 2008
Tom
Also: most of Nigel’s references to hymns and church and the bible appear to be Church Of England ones (Thomas Tallis etc). CoE don’t even have an official hymnal, so I suspect he just pulled the number 252 out of the air.
2 July 2008
Jan
Warning: this comment probably contains more than you wanted to know!
In Hymns Ancient and Modern (which is what passes for a CofE hymnal), number 252 is down as a hymn for the feast of St Michael and All Angels (Michaelmas, 29 September, also a quarter day when traditionally agricultural rents are due). The lyrics are:
Christ, enthroned in highest heaven,
hear us crying from the deep,
for the faithful ones departed,
for the souls of all that sleep;
as thy kneeling Church entreateth,
hearken, Shepherd of the sheep.
King of glory, hear our voices,
grant thy faithful rest, we pray;
we have sinner, and may not bide it,
if thou mark our steps astray,
yet we plead that saving Victim,
which for them we bring today.
That which thou thyself hast offered
to thy Father, offer we;
let it win for them a blessing,
bless them, Jesus, set them free:
they are thine, they wait in patience,
merciful and gracious be.
They are thine, O take them quickly,
thou their hope, O raise them high;
ever hoping, ever trusting,
unto thee they strive and cry;
day and night, both morn and even,
be, O Christ, their Guardian nigh.
Let thy plenteous loving-kindness
on them, as we pray, be poured;
let them through thy boundless mercy,
from all evil be restored;
hearken to the gentle pleading
of thy Mother, gracious Lord.
When, O kind and radiant Jesus,
kneels the Queen thy throne before,
let the court of saints attending,
mercy for the dead implore;
hearken, loving Friend of sinners,
whom the cross exalted bore.
Hear and answer prayers devoutest,
break, O Lord, each binding chain,
dash the gates of death asunder,
quell the devil and his train;
bring the souls which thou hast ransomed
evermore in joy to reign
3 July 2008
chris
I love the people who read this site, don’t you? 🙂
3 July 2008
TOM
Well, I stand duly corrected. Nice work sir.
9 July 2008
TOM
EDIT: Ma’am, rather.
9 July 2008
chris
Not when I last looked…
11 July 2008
TOM
Sorry, that was to Jan.
But hey, I do hope you’re checking regularly. I knew a guy once. But now he’s not a guy. So be careful.
16 July 2008
Dave Betts
Isn’t it
“Here come the Barmy Army
They’re absolutely crazy”
Bart = Bart Simpson costume
Elvis = Elvis costume
The Baby = A grown man in a nappy usually with a dummy and several beers strong
Just watching the test this morning at Headingley, I’ve seen several Amy Winehouses, a Pink Panther and Scooby Doo. Nigel’s got a problem with it (see also Paintball’s Coming Home), but what’s the harm? I’d rather see them than the cadavers in the MCC member’s enclosure.
19 July 2008
Dave Betts
Watching Cricket AM on Sky this morning, David “Bumble” Lloyd was showing the Edgbaston Sky commentary box and showed a copy of CSI: Ambleside to the camera!
Start the car!
2 August 2008
Jan
Aw, thanks Tom. I love this site.
29 August 2008
Hrhpod
I think it’s ‘fifty quid to chat’ not ‘chad’ since the previous line, ‘sea bass man bag’ seems to me, to refer to the hideous girls on those cruddy late night cheapo sexy chat line adverts.
16 January 2009
Chris The Siteowner
@hrhpod: It’s possible! Why does ’sea bass man bag’ refer to those ‘hideous girls’ though? Anyone else want to comment on the suggestion?
17 January 2009
Dave F.
Couldn’t he just be talking about a fish and bags designed for men? (Note cringe worthy quote at the bottom of the page)
17 January 2009
Chas
We’re seeing in the Saturnalia season listening to the Roadwater gig again, and we think the “£50 for Chad” is another in the recent trend towards deliberate ‘elucidate the Project’ moments.
25 December 2009
tomasz.
i read “sea bass, man-bag, 50 quid to Chad” as examples of that ostentatious self-congratulating media type behaviour: eating in fancy fish establishments, clutching questionable fashion items, £50 donation to Chad (the country) by way of appearing ‘right-on’.
as for Hymn no. 252: the first thing i associated with the number was dreadful longwave radio station Atlantic 252, renowned for seemingly playing the same five Top 40 hits all day long. so “sing hymn no. 252” could be an ironic reference to a group of 252 listeners all singing the same boring music. But according to Wikipedia the radio station folded in 2002, so i dunno if that’d be a little out of date.
21 June 2010
Martin Mintcake
I ring up Dial-A-Pizza
I ring up Dial-A-Pizza
I ring up Dial-A-Pizza
And say that’s not how I would spell “Hawaiian”
Im obviously tone deaf as I thought the lyrics were
I reek of garlic pizza
I reek of garlic pizza
I reeek of garlic pizza
And say that’s not how I would spell “Hawaiian”
2 November 2010
CyberFoggy
Thought the lyrics were “Sea Bass man bag fifty quid to Chav”.
The verse seems to be about chavs – and paying 50 quid for some tasteless shite would make sense.
14 December 2011
Mark
Darfur and Chad is one of the recipitents of collections at our local Baptist church ( capital B but not so c. ) Hope my punctuation stands up.
13 April 2012
Mr Larrington
There’s a nag called Seabass running in the National tomorrow…
13 April 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
… I shall be re-investing my e/w returns from Fistral Beach, after it weighed in a 22/1 third in today’s 3.40
13 April 2012
Mark C
RIP Seabass at the Grand National.
The curse?
14 April 2012
Mark C
Actually scrap that – was misinformed of name of poor dead nag …..
14 April 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
Seabass finished a tasty third as it happened. Paid a quarter of about 25-1 if you got on before this morning. Just a pity Paintball couldn’t come home in the next.
14 April 2012
MIKE IN COV
Coventry Faculty of Biscuitology, Department of the Bleedin’ Obvious. The tune is the Hokey Cokey; but is it that well-known to non-Brits? Click here for an excruciating example.
21 July 2012
Chigley Skin
The song is well-known throughout English-speaking countries, but outside the UK, most refer to it as the Hokey Pokey (except for New Zealanders, who opt for Hokey Tokey). I don’t think anyone’s ever formed a satisfactory explanation for this Cokey/Pokey/Tokey schism.
21 July 2012
Jim Wickham
Look I’m sorry to butt in on “Petty Sessions”, but it DOES mention Facebook, and I AM a pedant, so –
I just recommended a mate of mine visit this website, and I put the link on his Facebook time line/page/thingy/whatever. I was delighted to see the link transform into a proper little logo and website description. BUT – horror of horrors! – the description claims 167 songs. This is clearly out of date and needs someone like a siteowner to rectify, methinks…
OK I’ll go away now and get a life.
8 August 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Well done that man. FYI, all Facebook “Likes” and links are much appreciated, as Google (to which we web geeks are all enslaved) is giving huge kudos to these at present. I’ve put a “Like This!” link on all of the discussion pages; feel free to click away.
8 August 2012
John Burscough
Quite so, quite so. BTW, congrats on passing half a million words of comment.
8 August 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
The next milestone is that all-important 10,000-comment barrier.
8 August 2012
Exxo
Should take you at least another month that Mike.
8 August 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Us.
8 August 2012
Dave Cooper
Apropos of absolutely nothing, when I was in The Army a ‘252’ referred to Army Form B252 which was the charge sheet, and I received more than one of those in my time.
A variant on the “Go to the stores and ask if you can have a long stand” jape pulled on new recruits was “Go to the motor pool and ask if you can get a 252 to charge the batteries.”
The long winter months flew by.
11 October 2013
Chris The Siteowner
In Alexander’s Hymns No.3, a.k.a. “Alexander’s Red Hymn Book”, hymn number 252 just happens to be “Abide With Me”. Save any further thoughts until the A-Z on 13 April.
(Update: which is here – CtSO)
23 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Facebook Mum – “Generally there is little difference between genders and their use of social sites. However, women (79%) are significantly more likely than men (65%) to use Facebook.”
19 April 2015
intheshadowoflilly
My colleague just creased up at the dial-a-pizza line as he was familiar with it as an illicit means of procuring booze outside of licenced hours on the Wirral…
22 November 2018
Cream cheese and chives
Sedbergh restaurant-
Hawaiian Pizza
Traditional ham and pineapple.
When do things become traditional?
21 May 2019
SixCardRoulette
@42 When the possibility looms of an unexpected and loathsome “fresh take”, like ordering a Hawaiian and getting turkey ham and starfruit with organic kale.
3 December 2019
schoon
Surely ‘Kill kill kill stab murder and despatch’ needs commas?
4 February 2022
parsfan
From Bilston in 2006, a year and a half before CSI, Mike Cresswell reports:
We were also given some thoughts for the day. “Mr Pizza; if you learn how to spell Hawaiian correctly, I might buy one”. Also, “lazy grammar equals bad hygiene in the kitchen”.
And Roger:
He is certainly hung up about his local pizza takeaway’s inability to spell “Hawaiian” as well – “sloppy work on the menu means sloppy work in the kitchen”.
27 March 2023
dr desperate
According to Brian, Bilston 2006 was also the first appearance of the Airstream guitar. As now, Nigel had problems with it: a 2-3 minute tune-up, three broken strings, and “It’s bloody heavy this… there’s actually people inside”.
27 March 2023
Shouting At Polenta
So there I was this morning listening to CSI: Ambleside for the first time in two years. Tears of happiness. And then just after Petty Sessions a red squirrel ambled past the window. And I didn’t get a photo because I had the bastard camera (or phone as it used to be known) clamped to my head not ordering a pizza.
16 April 2023