HMHB in the Media
Note – this page was originally titled “HMHB Lyrics Quoted In The Media”, and was for just that, but it’s become the repository for discussing any mention of HMHB in the media. For old times’ sake, however, here’s the original intro:
Oh what a frightening world it can be. Then suddenly, the most unexpected source quotes Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics at you, and all is right again. Gratuitous, inappropriate, calculated or amusingly impromptu: if you read or hear any Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics being broadcast or quoted in print, embarrass or applaud the author in the box below. Double marks (to them) if they don’t explain what they’re doing.
✉ Letters Sent (1,000)
Chris The Siteowner
Simon Mayo Show, Radio 5 Live, 3 October 2008
Mark Kermode (starting to rant): “…that’s the whole point of Roger Corman movies, is that it lingers on the violence. I mean, it’s the whole thing about what’s ‘Jaws’ if not a Roger Corman movie with a budget, well, what’s ‘Death Race’ if not a Roger Corman movie with a budget, but without the lingering violence? I don’t want that thank you very much”
Mayo: “What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?”
Kermode (missing it completely): “Yes.”
9 October 2008
Chris The Siteowner
David Lloyd, skysports.com, 8 October 2008
“Last Sunday I did a Desert Island Discs-style programme on Radio Kent with Roger Day, who got me on the show to play ten of my favourite songs. It went really well, apart from the fact they didn’t play my two favourites: ‘No Bulbs’ by The Fall and ‘Lord Hereford’s Knob’ by Half Man Half Biscuit. Apparently they couldn’t find them, which is a poor effort when they’re readily available on iTunes.”
9 October 2008
RobJ
Bumble has been rather prolific in bringing HMHB to the masses. I think Gez’s hmhb.co.uk site quotes him from a live match on Sky Sports describing Geraint Jones’s wicket-keeping attire as “Joy Division Oven Gloves”
9 October 2008
Petrovic
Simon Mayo again: slipped a deadpan “Dean Friedman” into a discussion of pianos/Burn After Reading in this week’s Kermode reviews. No reaction from Kermode.
19 October 2008
Neil G
Very good article in the Times today about the link between sport and music. There is a ‘top 40’ of songs associated with music. Bob Dylan comes top with ‘Hurricane’. I’d go along with that. HMHB get two mentions in the top 40 – I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan at number 36 and Bob Wilson Anchorman at number 10. Dukla Prague gets a mention in the body of the text (although the full title of the song is not given, a dreadful oversight) but, alas does not get to its rightful place at number 2 in the chart. Inexplicably, it gets nowhere at all. I think everyone should send the Times an e-mail threatening not to buy their paper any more until they print an apology.
Anyway, here’s the link.
20 October 2008
Neil G
Oops, mistake there. It should be songs associated with sport, not songs associated with music. Most songs are associated with music in some small way, I suppose, however bad they may be.
20 October 2008
Rob
Thanks for the link Neil, I’m going to write to them and ask them if they’ve heard of Fred Titmus.
Away from HMHB, I’m sure that they could have found room for The Pogues.
20 October 2008
Dave F.
Cheers Neil
As well as the omission of DPAK, they left out completely The Hitchers who’s song Strachan is one that epitomizes the anguish of football/relationships. They also did one called ‘4:30… Two Down’.
20 October 2008
Blue Badge Abuser
I’ve just posted on the Times website, suggesting their researcher for the article be sacked!
21 October 2008
Blue Badge Abuser
I’m outraged. The Times Online website has not posted my comment…
22 October 2008
Neil G
I’ve been thinking about these sport songs for a while and one kept coming into my mind – Night Game by Paul Simon from Still Crazy After All These Years. It is one of the most beautiful songs I know and it’s about baseball, or at least it takes baseball as its base, if you like. If you don’t know it, have a listen. Here are the words, if that’s allowed.
There were two men down
And the score was tied
In the bottom of the eighth
When the pitcher died
And they laid his spikes
On the pitcher’s mound
And his uniform was torn
And his number was left on the ground
Then the night turned cold
Colder than the moon
The stars were white as bones
The stadium was old
Older than the screams
Older than the teams
There were three men down
And the season lost
And the tarpaulin was rolled
Upon the winter frost
This song makes me cry. And I don’t know the first thing about baseball.
23 October 2008
Ben G H
If you go to the ‘Half Decent Articles’ section on this website you’ll find a Guardian article by somebody called Kevin Sampson. In the piece he mentions the song “Fuckin’ Hell! It’s Fred Titmus, and he describes him as ‘Firey Yorkshire Pace Legend’. Mr Sampson is clearly confusing Fred Titmus (6 toed former Middlesex and Surrey spin bowler) with ‘Firey Yorkshire Pace Legend – Fred (‘I’ll see thee’) Trueman! Classic Guardian mistake!
24 October 2008
Ben G H
Oh, and another thing. I really did see Fred Titmuss once. In Hemel Hempstead. I may not have said ‘Fuckin Ell, it’s Fred Titmuss. It would probably have been. ‘Is that? Yes it is – look – it’s Fred Titmuss. Fancy that!’ or something along those lines! This was in 1982 I hasten to add. Before the song was released!
Funny that!
24 October 2008
dj
kevin sampson is a liverpool based writer who i think used to be the farm’s manager. he has written several books the most memorable being awaydays which is about football casuals and powder which is a bout a rock band. wouldn’t really expect him to know much about cricket to be fair
25 October 2008
Dave Wiggins
Great site this. Remember that woman from ‘Casualty’ or ‘Holby City’ moaning on, I think, Dick and Dom one Saturday morning, that her local store didn’t sell any Half Man Half Biscuit? Or – a more prosaic one this – some high falutin’ businessman, on the Euston to Lime Street train, quoting ‘Time Flies By’ (but, criminally, attributing it to Attila the Stockbroker). I was forced to interject.
Yeah, I know I’m off the point here, but whatever . . . .
26 October 2008
Ben G H
Fair enough – but I would expect him to know that the gurning baldie whose head Benny Hill was given to slapping was in fact John ‘Jackie’ Wright and not Bob Todd!
27 October 2008
Dave Wiggins
The Liverpool Echo’s Paddy Shennan is fantastic at getting HMHB references in most of his articles. As, indeed, is the Everton fanzine When Skies are Grey (this month saw a line that read, “yeah, okay, so I had a Kojak, but by Christ it was trendy at the time”).
30 October 2008
Ben
Wiggins! You shameless self-publicist!
Hawksbee and Jacobs (the only thing worth listening to) on Talksport, introduced an interview today with some bloke who’d written a book about Subbuteo, with the inevitable couple of verses of AIWFCIADPAK.
30 October 2008
s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad
Has anyone mentioned that HMHB are on a listening post in the football museum in Preston? I think that it’s Friday Night and the Gates are Low.
2 November 2008
Paul F
Kevin Sampson is an acquaintance of Nigel’s. Nigel gets a mention in Sampson’s book relating a year in the life of a Liverpool fan (1997-98 I think) when Sampson (talking to John Barnes) tries to take the credit for a spectacular goal scored by Nigel in a charity match. Good book, well worth a read (as is most of Sampson’s stuff).
My own (small) contribution to HMHB in print is a letter to the Guardian quoting from “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” in response to a senior Met officer bemoaning the prevalence of cocaine at middle class dinner parties.
12 November 2008
Giles Pattison
December edition of Word, page108, caption to a picture of Annika Line Trost reads “Careful now, that swan could break your arm”. (She is seated next to said swan, and by the look of her knee they have already partaken in a bit of biffo)
12 November 2008
simon smith
And on page 84 of the same journal?
14 November 2008
Evilnick
Not sure exactly when this was originally broadcast but I’m sure I heard references in both Newcastle kids show Byker Grove “Got any Half Man Half Biscuit, man?” and in Mum’s favourite soap opera Coronation Street when a younger but still eerily vampiric Steve McDonald sang a few lines to one of the earlier songs.
14 November 2008
Hoagy
They were indeed mentioned on Byker Grove and here’s the YouTube link to prove it – http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=usyn9sBFMHo
15 November 2008
Chris The Siteowner
Fantastic. And – as YouTube always manages to do – this led me to something I’d never seen before: No Regrets with Margi Clarke. What was the story behind that?
15 November 2008
s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad
Phil Jupitus was naming bands on “Arumental” and said “Half Man Half Biscuit” when a picture of Peter Stringfellow( i think,I didn’t spin ’round quick enough) was shown.
s.g.d.
17 November 2008
Richard
Football Focus (29/11/08) has just interviewed Brad Friedel, and played of course “I Went To A Wedding…”
None of the presenters know the band which is a bit disappointing; they should have had Bumble as a special guest.
29 November 2008
RobJ
I heard that Brad Friedel was mildly impressed and was looking forward to telling his wife.
2 December 2008
Fredorrarci
I don’t know if this counts, as it’s merely a report of some HMHB lyrics being quoted, and I don’t know if there’s a statute of limitations on this, but…
This is from an interview with Eddie Argos in the Guardian last year, talking about a conversation with Liam Gallagher:
“I said to him, ‘Us supporting you is like Half Man Half Biscuit supporting U2,’ and he goes, ‘Half Man Half Biscuit? Noel used to play them all the time.’ Then he sang me a bit of Trumpton Riots. I thought, Christ, this is strange, Liam Gallagher is singing Trumpton Riots by Half Man Half Biscuit to me.” A deafening laugh. “It was brilliant.”
4 December 2008
Fredorrarci
Here is the Brad Friedel/Football Focus thing.
6 December 2008
Petrovic
Eddie Argos is on record as being a HMHB fan – have a look at this. Moreover I’m pretty sure I saw him at the Forum gig last month.
6 December 2008
Jan
You did indeed see him there. And I was with him!
12 December 2008
Daryl
Re: Brad Friedel incident
Perhaps someone should play ‘Lock up Your Mountain Bikes’ to Garth Crooks?
14 December 2008
Chris The Siteowner
Kudos to Ian King of The Times today for shoehorning in a big HMHB reference into a story about kids’ names:
The vogue in recent years has been for names such as Fred or Archie – which, as the indie-rock group Half Man Half Biscuit memorably pointed out, boast “cheeky but loveable working class scamp connotations”.
The Biscuits, incidentally, warn middle-class mums to avoid such names – “unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life at William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot”.
7 January 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Well, we tried: National Shite Day made number 18 and Blue Badge Abuser made number 27 in Word magazine’s Festive Fifty. Not that impressive really for one of the few magazines which regularly covers the band.
7 January 2009
YeltzDoc
I shoehorned one into Hawksbee and Jacobs on ShoutSh1te yesterday. They were asking for words that are only ever used with football connotations and I predictably managed to get – “Apart from on commentary, where else on earth can you hear the word ‘aplomb’ being used?” – read out verbatim by PH.
7 January 2009
Simon
A lengthy quote from Breaking News in The Times, no less.
I can practically guarantee that the writer never tried to spell out an interviewee’s laugh.
Thanks for the site.
8 January 2009
s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad
…going worldwide for one small mention…
9 January 2009
Charles Exford
Ha, “stuff like Half Man Half Biscuit”, eh ? They obviously have some great little unknown bands hidden away in South Africa.
9 January 2009
San Luis Obispo
A little tenuous/frivolous this – but – I can’t believe no-one’s mentioned Baroness Vadera and her “Green shoots of recovery” slip…
Admittedly, it did take me the best part of a day running the quote over in my under-employed mind, but eventually it stuck:
“The fearsome hollow boom of the older boys in the deep end.
The green shoots of recovery shrivelled up in harsh tomorrows.
Left to pick dry sticks and mumble to myself;
A melancholic emblem of parish cruelty…”
Her Bad Review was perhaps fitting, then. ‘hem.
16 January 2009
Paul F
Congratulations to Fredorrarci by the way (whose name is effectively a HMHB quote I suppose) for his part in highlighting a Times sports journalist with less than thorough research skills
16 January 2009
Rob
Fredorrarci’s handle reminds me of Adam Federici, Reading’s goalkeeper. Anyway, ‘Cammell Laird Social Club’ gets a mention in this month’s When Saturday Comes.
17 January 2009
Fredorrarci
Thanks, Paul. Modesty forbids me from turning this entire sentence into a link to the original piece, so I won’t.
19 January 2009
Fredorrarci
And yes, the name is a very lame bastardisation of a HMHB lyric. I reek of cheeky but loveable working class scamp connotations, me.
19 January 2009
Lee
This one is a bit vague, shortly after the new album was released last summer I was stuck in traffic and trying to avoid all the usual on the radio ended up listening to radio four, the announcer introduced the next item about forensic evidence and policing and said something like, “now what do you do on discovering a body before csi:ambleside or whoever turn up”. dont know who he was sorry.
19 January 2009
Charles Exford
OK then, I just wanted the honour of having my little bit of verse appear somewhere on this brilliant site.
Graham Poll appears to be everywhere in the media at the moment, and I must reluctantly admit he is actually proving to be bloody good at it. We should never forget his incompetence in 2006 though, and I just thought I’d share a tribute (to Mr. Blackwell, rather than Mr. Poll) which I performed on Five Live the day after the Australia Croatia “3 yellows make a red” game.
Graham Poll’s Alphabet
A is for Australians, so friendly to me
B is for Being Britain’s Biggest-name Referee
C is for Counting Cards and Cursing Croatians
D is for Diving – AKA simulation
E is EVERYTHING, which thanks to ME this game had
F is for Fourth Official – his night was just as bad !
G is for Ghost writer – I’m going to need one
H is my Hero – Clive Thomas I’m modelled on
I is for Intentional, which handball needs to be
And for Invisible, which it often is to me
J is the Jet Plane that I’m leaving on
K is for K.O-ed, my final hopes, GONE !
L, of Course is for Letting the game Flow
& L is the fine LINE to Losing Control
M is for Mark Viduka, and our mutual admiration
N is non-verbal, I don’t speak Croatian
O is for my forthcoming Optician’s appointment
Pre-booked, 10th July, pass me the Ointment
P is for being Pushed, isn’t that a Red card ?
Maybe, but showing 2 cards at once is so hard.
Q is for Questioning my parentage, and decisions
R is for Rugby tackles in unsighted positions
S is for Sepp Blatter, such a tactful fellow
and T is for a groundbreaking Triple Yellow
U is Unclear. Unrepentant. Unconsoleable
V is for Video Refs, to make things controllable.
W is the World Cup Final Whistler. Woe is me !
and X is for being an X-referee
X is also the Xmas card lists I won’t be on
Like ex-Yugoslavia my name is …. gone
and Y are the former Yugoslavians, Yelling at me,
and Z is Zagreb, where I’ll never again referee
Or Zeljko, Ozzie keeper, another comedy act.
Or Zlatko, the Croatian boss, like me – sacked.
26 January 2009
Ben
For those of you (wisely) not dicking around with Facebook, you may like to see – from the “HMHB Appreciation Society” group on there – that Dean ‘Yes that one’ Friedman posted a whole song about Nigel Blackwell. The full background story is here.
11 February 2009
Richard
Observer – letters in the Sport section, they asked for the official best football songs ever. Two HMHB entries printed, The referees alphabet and Bob Wilson – Anchorman. You can send further entries to the.agenda@observer.co.uk.
As one of the readers noted HMHB could fill an album with football songs. My favourite? I was a teenage armchair Honved fan.
16 February 2009
Billy Hubble
Respectable mention for HMHB on cricinfo.com dating back to 2006:
F***ing Hell, It’s Fred Titmus – Half Man Half Biscuit
Once described as the “most authentic British band since The Clash”, Half Man, Half Biscuit was a sharp-witted four-piece rock band from Birkenhead, in the Wirral. A by-product of Thatcher’s Britain, the band announced itself in 1986 with the album “Back in the DHSS”, which was recorded for just 30 pounds and yet sold more than 200,000 copies. According to Nigel Blackwell, the lead singer, guitarist and surreally talented writer, “one of my fantasies was to have a load of folk shouting something ridiculous like ‘F**king Hell, it’s Fred Titmus!’ back at the stage as a counterblast to all those rock acts whose audience would hold their lighters aloft during some Godforsaken dross concerning ‘a girl no longer with us due to flagrant disregard of the speed limit by persons unknown’. Much more fun thought I to have ’em shouting the name of a Middlesex spin bowler. Certainly more believable anyway, I think.” Other songs by HMHB included “Hedley Verity-esque,” and “Christian Rock Concert”, which included a reference to Wendy Wimbush, the legendary former Test Match Special scorer … playing on a spacehopper …
21 February 2009
Dave Wiggins
Some wag persists in writing to the Liverpool Echo, pretending (?) to be a senior citizen who is fed up of things like drive-by shoutings, bus drivers who pull away too quickly, and youths with japanese fighting dogs. He also bemoaned the demise of ‘fine chandlers’, recently. If you read this site, mate, I salute you, whoever you are.
13 March 2009
Poolio
Feb 18th, 2009
Page 19 Manchester Metro:
Best things in life:
At long last someone has created a Google map of every place ever mentioned in a Half Man Half Biscuit Song.
17 March 2009
nigel (no, not that one)
‘All I Want for Christmas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit’ made an appearance in The Guardian’s 1000 songs everyone must hear – party songs.
Can’t quite see how it’s a party song, but musn’t grumble
23 March 2009
Paul F
Another Guardian “list”:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/apr/01/andy-bull-cricket-music-songs
1 April 2009
pjdoyle
This is from the Irish Independent (13/02/09).
I would have added it sooner, but just discovered this website today.
4 May 2009
Ben
On Ken Bruce’s show today he was having a bit of back and forth with the traffic reporter (for once not the hideous harridan Lynn Bowles); he quizzed her on whether she’d discovered the joy of writing on a banana, I could have crashed my car when 5 minutes later he read out someones text “I understand Half Man Half Biscuit sang about writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro”
Ken Bruce and HMHB – That can cause a rip in the space/time continuum
13 May 2009
Gary Parkinson
I edit football website FourFourTwo.com and we recently had a themed week about music and football. Someone suggested we run a blog on songs mentioning football. Fine, said I, filing it – but there’s a band of such towering genius that they require their own blog on the topic.
So I wrote that, too.
19 May 2009
Paul F
No lyrics – but a good picture:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/gallery/2009/may/18/post-punk-liverpool?picture=347510464
19 May 2009
Neil G
Gary,
Great articles.
19 May 2009
Ben
Great read Gary – more Brentford stuff in the ‘Planet Football’ section too please.
19 May 2009
Charles Exford
Great article Gary, really enjoyed that, spreads the word nicely & helps the lads shift some product units too no doubt.
[in no way a criticism, but do we detect that you perhaps haven’t got the ‘Saucy Haulage Ballads’ EP in your collection, with its top togger references in at least 3 songs, culminating in the majestic ‘foot up in Europe’ song-within-a-song ? ]
21 May 2009
Chesney wold
Just wanted to say that’s an excellent article Gary. I’ve been a Biscuits fan for 20 years but that made me re-evaluate how fantastic they really are and I’ll be highlighting it to some of my less HMHB enthusiastic (because it’s too much effort) friends to show them what is actually what. Great stuff.
29 May 2009
grilly
there appears to be a game called ‘squid yes! not so octopus’. i think this is wonderful. http://tigsource.com/articles/2009/05/19/squid-yes-not-so-octopus-squid-harder
3 June 2009
Dave Wiggins
Great stuff, Gary, and there are probably even more references (as Chesney Wold indicated above). The link is now sweeping my office and beyond.
11 June 2009
Paul F
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/jun/18/classic-youtube-tiger-woods
Some good stuff in this week’s Guardian youtube round-up.
23 June 2009
Matthew
No more than a passing mention but the oblique reference is deliberate and possibly the first HMHB reference in a Times business comment:
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/columnists/article6201851.ece
13 July 2009
Dave F.
Just listening to recording of the Radcliffe & Maconie from the 18th of June where regular TV/Radio reviewer Noddy Holder was talking about a program about comedy acts.
They each chose a favourite of theirs from the genre. Maconie chose Running Order Squabble Fest.
It was preceded by them quoting lyrics/song title (surprisingly Maconie many from the recent album).
Noddy seemed jubilant at them being selected – “lyrically they are just superb”.
They wanted to use Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus in an up coming Cricket themed show, but were felt unable to do so for obvious reasons
13 July 2009
Paul F
Fantastic work by Ian King in The Times! Thanks for highlighting Matthew.
14 July 2009
Paul F
Regarding The Times piece – I suspect some poor TimesOnline moderator is now getting inundated with comments to review which seem to make no sense whatsoever – such as my “Well they have to pay for the golf weekend somehow”.
14 July 2009
Ricardo
From Mike Atherton’s column in The Times today, “Wasn’t it noticeable how quick the bowlers were in the World Twenty20, when the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t that of an oncoming train?” Has he been rifling through Bumble’s record collection?
30 July 2009
Billy Hubble
youtube video off the best of David Lloyd (Skysports commentator)
Mention at 6 mins 15 seconds for HMHB…Apparantly it can get quite quiet in the commentary box…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XDnOtU3r2k
7 August 2009
SIMON FORAN
From Andrew (working from home), TMS inbox: “There’s a Half Man Half Biscuit song which rhymes Lech Walesa with Marks and Spencer. Mike Gatting looks at bit like Lech.”
Also:
From Matt, TMS inbox: “I’d imagine that when you were looking for the correct spelling of ‘Leaden’ the reason Half man Half Biscuit came up was because of the classic album of theirs called ‘This Leaden Pall’. In my opinion their finest work.”
Above can be found here
21 August 2009
SIMON FORAN
Page last updated at 09:10 GMT, Friday, 21 August 2009 10:10 UK
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From kinkster, via text on 81111: “On the subject of Half Man Half Biscuit they opened a recent set with one of their more famous songs about Fred Titmus. I think we could make good use of his skills right now.”
21 August 2009
Helen
Mike McCahill reviewing ‘Antichrist’, the new film from Lars Von Trier in the Sunday Telegraph Magazine (26.07.09); “Gainsbourg wan, bereft, depressed beyond tablets…”
19 September 2009
simon smith
Three weeks of Danny Baker`s new Saturday morning show and two separate HMHB references already. I`ll have to pore over the recording to extract the precise wording. I know what you buggers are like :-)
22 September 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Ooh please, I’m a couple of weeks behind on the podcasts. Funny, I can’t imagine a broadcaster more likely – in theory – to be a fan of HMHB than Baker, and yet I can’t ever recall him having mentioned them.
22 September 2009
Dave
I remember Danny Baker on Radio 5 in the morning years ago mentioning A Lilac Harry Quinn, raving about the rhyme ‘I didn’t need much time convincing her, baby I’m from the Wirral peninsula’. I’m not sure if he might have actually played the track.
24 September 2009
chesneywold
just thought i’d say that i know m mccahill and he is indeed a massive hmhb fan…the sly dog, wonder if he’s put any more out there.
7 October 2009
chesneywold
oo and i’ve just remembered that something technical or other on shooting stars, i guess digital effects or something, was by a company called half man half pixel. Good pun i reckon.
7 October 2009
Trev
I know Ian King well from when he was city editor at the sun where I edit the racing. Top bloke. We used to have hmhb conversations to the general bemusement of those around us – except charlie wyett the football writer who is another fan
10 October 2009
chesneywold
is this an appropriate place to ask for a job trev? I’ve just been made redundant and i’ve done a bit of work for the racing post.
10 October 2009
John Anderson
I know Dave Kidd another Sun football writer is also a fan. So is Nigel Adderley the BBC 5 Live commentator who collapsed at West Ham last week but is now thankfully on the mend. He’s a Tranmere fanatic who knows Nigel Blackwell and introduced me to him after the Mean Fiddler gig a few years ago. Sky News sports presenter Chris Skudder also likes them.
11 October 2009
Richard
Guardian letters 10 October”
‘Liverpool gave us the Beatles, but the Wirral gave us HMHB’
11 October 2009
Mr Larrington
“Material World” on R4 yesterday; Quentin Cooper is discussing SCIENCE, or rather the lack thereof, in SCIENCE-fiction, with a couple of scientists and posited that perhaps the public can get all the SCIENCE it needs from sources such as “Silent Witness and CSI: Ambleside”.
Were it not for the fact the the M11 was, as usual, corked up tighter than a cat’s bum, a helplessly giggling Mr Larrington would probably have been found buried in the armco.
30 October 2009
Ben
On Marc Riley’s 6 Music Show last night, he had a band called ‘The Hornblower Brothers’ in who cited HMHB as an influence. Asked what their favourite album was they said ‘CSI-Ambleside’ which unfortunately marked them down as newbies in my book.
30 October 2009
Al
CSI Ambleside was Marc Rileys favourite not The Hornblower Brothers!
2 November 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Bless ’em, The Guardian got a reference on to the front page today…
6 November 2009
Mr Larrington
Outstanding!
6 November 2009
s.g.d. a ShropshireLad
The latest issue of When Saturday Comes quotes from “Friday Night and the Gates are Low”, it is in an article about Tranmere so only to be expected.
11 November 2009
Richard Parker
Another HMHB reference (well not exactly, but knowing he is a fan I’m sure we all know what he meant!) on the Danny Baker show this week (Sat 14th Nov).
“Irrational turn-ons, I don’t know what it is, but there is something deeply satisfying about this, bordering on the erotic, a biro on the sole of a plimsole”
16 November 2009
Chris The Siteowner
“…raising awareness of awareness itself…”
The Onion seems to have been listening to Breaking News
19 November 2009
Paul F
I saw that as well Chris, and that’s what I thought!
20 November 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Not exactly “lyrics in the media”, but worth highlighting the blurb on the Cambridge Junction website to accompany the forthcoming gig:
Named after a little known Tarkovsky film, this brass-tinged five piece from Rhosesmor have recently toured with the likes of Chris Rea and Patti Boulaye as well as being the subjects of a documentary on cable channel E! Entertainment entitled In Transit.
Never knowingly in tune, Half Man Half Biscuit are performing various dates around Salop in order to promote their latest album What Dread this Upon the Spume?
20 November 2009
Dave Kidd
You’ll all have to start reading The People, I’ve mentioned the Biscuits three or four times in my column. And besides, we need the readers.
I’m sitting here surfing aimlessly so as to avoid watching ‘I’m A Celebrity’ with my missus, and find out that Trev who I worked with for many years is also a big HMHB fan and I never knew. The Sun newsroom was a hotbed of Biscuit fans, it seems. Ian King mentioned the Biscuits in the Currant Bun in his time there too. Trev, Charlie Wyett isn’t a fan, it was me, pal!
20 November 2009
Bobby Chariot
Lewd acts? That’s my restless leg syndrome, says doctor in indecency courts case.
The above headline appeared in the South Wales Echo on 21st November 2009.
“A children’s doctor says his restless legs and his habit of keeping a hankie on his lap in case he sneezes might have given schoolgirls the wrong idea that he was performing lewd acts on himself …….. He said he had had a habit of jiggling his legs aound since he was a child – a problem since diagnosed as restless legs syndrome – and if he was sitting there with his hands on his lap, his arms would have been moving too.”
The full report can be read here.
22 November 2009
Dave Wiggins
Dave Kidd – I love your ‘People’ column, mate! Can I also be the first to mention Helen Chamberlain quoting from ‘Even Men With Steel Hearts’ on Soccer AM, 5 December?
6 December 2009
Colin
Brief mention on Soccer Am by Helen Chamberlain on HMHB “Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch” before showing a clip of a cat at a La Liga game.. tenuous i know but hey it brightened up my sat morn
7 December 2009
simon smith
Perhaps an attempt to curry favour after NB`s `Wilf Rostron` stand `slur` in live renditions of `Paintball…`
11 December 2009
simon smith
Sorry, that should read `Luther Grosvenor` stand. He was a member of `Bev Bevan`s Mott The Hoople`.
11 December 2009
Michael
Radio Four’s Today programme played an excerpt from
“Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch” this morning, and also mentioned “The Referee’s Alphabet” and “Mathematically Safe”, during an article by Gideon Coe on sporting songs.
It can be heard here (starting at 2.48)
30 December 2009
Mr Larrington
My friend Sir Hugh of Hugh pointed me at Mr. J. Nash’s partly excellent piece of Webby SCIENCE, where I found this:
http://orsomething.co.uk/160/14-unfortunate-spin-offs/
Number 11.
8 January 2010
Richard Parker
Again Simon Mayo, on his new Radio 2 drivetime show last week was doing a feature on restless leg syndrome; he was interviewing a doctor about it, and quoted the classic song from Acthung Bono, asking if “a milky drink and Sudafed would actually sort you out”. Apparently it might, according to the doctor!
Mr Mayo is indeed a fan.
Note: Podcast is available in the usual places if you want to hear the actual conversation. It’s mentioned on his blog too
26 January 2010
Petrovic
Dunno whether this counts, but Gideon Coe played some Tallulah Gosh in his show last night.
28 January 2010
Charles Exford
I think it hardly even counts if Gideon’s bibble mentions HMHB, never mind mere passing mentions of the bands that HMHB mention.
But anyway, for what it’s worth, upon today’s announcement of the demise of Salinger, Coe apparently asked tonight which HMHB song mentions ‘Catcher in the Rye’ and was informed by listener “Viv, half asleep in Leeds” that it was “Ordinary to Enschede“.
29 January 2010
GREASBY SHARK
Tenuous, I know, but did anyone else see the article in today’s Guardian on Restless Leg Syndrome??
9 February 2010
YeltzDoc
A bit of unlikely sarcasm (I think), in today’s “Instant Expert” section in The Times’s Playlist section –
“What to say about…
The new album by Babybird
Apparently Johnny Depp thinks Babybird is an underrated national treasure. So what? Brad Pitt is a massive Half Man Half Biscuit fan but you don’t hear him banging on about it.”
Very good. I suspect the writer of the piece, Ben Machell, is a fan, especially with his use of the phrase, “national treasure”.
Ben, we salute you.
27 February 2010
Paul F
Another reference from Mr Mayo. He read out a “tweet” the other day saying “You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead”, properly attributing it to Laurel and Hardy, but given his history I’m sure he picked that one to read out because of its HMHB relevance.
5 March 2010
Mr Larrington
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/816133-joy-division-oven-gloves-sparks-fresh-calls-to-save-6-music
5 March 2010
Chris The Siteowner
For those of us obsessed with Twitter, today has been the greatest day ever. Just take a look. I never thought I’d see that.
If you’re reading this in the future (what’s it like? Is everyone wearing shiny white suits and stuff?) then this next link might not show much, but today, it looks like magic:
http://twitter.com/#search?q=joy%20division%20oven%20gloves
5 March 2010
Richard Parker
Half Man Half Biscuit’s Joy Division Oven Gloves is the number one trending topic on Twitter in London, after being played by Gideon Coe on BBC6 music this morning
Also Dean Friedman is on twitter and has just posted the following “How many times do I have to say this, I never even met Nigel Blackwell’s mum!”
Richard
5 March 2010
Charles Exford
You’re not Richard ‘Harvey’ Parker from Co. Durham aged about 47 are you?
[I wouldn’t normally ask that just from your name, but I used to share a flat and a copy of The Trumpton Riots EP with said character …plus last time I asked someone on an HMHB mailing list if they were someone I last saw 20-odd years ago, it turned out they were]
5 March 2010
Richard Parker
No its not me, I’m 39 and from Essex, sorry.
5 March 2010
Dave F.
Mr. Larrington, Could you post the text of that Metro article here please?
Both Firefox & IE are playing silly buggers with me & only displaying the (huge) amount of advertising.
Ta
6 March 2010
Mr Larrington
@Dave F:
‘Joy Division Oven Gloves’ sparks fresh Twitter calls to Save 6 Music
Half Man Half Biscuit’s track ‘Joy Divison Oven Gloves’ has rallied Twitter users into fresh calls to save BBC 6 Music after Gideon Coe played the song on his morning radio show.
The recent campaign to save the stricken 6 Music radio station has taken an comical turn this morning after Joy Division Oven Gloves appears to have become the song of choice for protesters.
Fighting against the BBC decision to close both 6 Music and The Asian Network, users on Twitter have bombarded the microblogging site with tweets relating to the song by relatively unknown act Half Man Half Biscuit.
The search term “Joy Division Oven Gloves” went to the top of the Twitter’s UK trending list this morning as a result of the campaign.
The song was played this morning by Gideon Coe on his 6 Music radio show, and has instantly become a hit with listeners and users across the world.
Half Man Half Biscuit has produced such classic tracks as “Seal Clubbing” and “All I want for Christmas is a Dulka (sic) Prague away kit” though top of the YouTube charts seems to be “Paintball’s coming home”.
The BBC announced on Tuesday that they would be closing 6 Music as part of a £600m money saving directive, designed to promote “high quality content and distribution by 2013”.
8 March 2010
Rowan
Andrew Collings mentioned Running Order Squabble Fest on his 6 music Saturday show, not last Saturday, but the one before. In his excitement he misquotes it as “…half past twelve? half past twelve?”, but I think he gets points for trying. It gave my heart a lift, that’s for sure. Podcast no longer available, sadly
9 March 2010
Swanaldo
There’s still plenty of time to let the BBC know what you think re: 6Music.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctrust/consultations/departments/bbc/bbc-strategy-review/consultation/consult_view
(Quite frankly, any radio station that plays Joy Division Oven Gloves at five to nine in the morning is a bit special and must be saved at all costs. I actually pogo-ed gleefully into my colleague when they played it.)
10 March 2010
Charles Exford
Hear, hear. Apart from anything else we need an outlet for any new sessions in future. As a proportion of air-time I reckon Gideon Coe gives far more attention to HMHB even than Peel did and this must continue.
A direct e-mail to srconsultation@bbc.co.uk is the route they have been plugging on air.
I bet someone would have asked Nige to “get involved” in do a worthy Guy Garvey (?) style protest voiceover, if Geoff hadn’t been in Morocco. Not that I reckon Nigel would have wanted to “get involved”.
But LETTERS MUST BE SENT. It’s what it’s all about.
10 March 2010
John
On wednesday (17th march 2010), Lammo, Riley & Co(e) re going to play all of the bands mentioned in “Irk the Purists”
15 March 2010
Chris The Siteowner
The full rundown on the inaugural Festival of Irk is here, courtesy of Charles Exford Esq.
18 March 2010
Paul F
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/818390-bbc-6-music-fans-urged-to-buy-half-man-half-biscuit-track-to-save-station
22 March 2010
Alan K
Just a quickie, why NB57??
28 March 2010
Chris The Siteowner
We should probably have the definitive page on this somewhere, but according to Philip Taylor on the Half Man Half Biscuit Mailing List at Yahoo! Groups “in a list of Top 100 Merseysiders done by The Echo or something, Nigel Blackwell came 57th betwixt Rex Harrison and Andy McCluskey. I coined him NB57 as I had seen Mr Beckham shortened to DB23 and Mr Van Nistelrooy RVN10 that very morning on a forum.”
And here is that list of Great Merseysiders in full, from Michael Holliday up to, er, Ken Dodd.
28 March 2010
Dave F.
Tonight in an episode of a drama on ITV Married, Single, Other (which is too bad, even with Ralf Little in it), an ambulance driving paramedic said that she had an overdose victim in the back; but not to worry as it was probably from Haliborange.
30 March 2010
Swanaldo
In posh persons’ magazine Exeter Living, a picture of a steam train with the caption “Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train, well according to Half Man, Half Biscuit anyway”
11 April 2010
Sandii
Is anyone watching The One Show right now, where they’re talking about Restless Leg Syndrome?
20 April 2010
Jase
Re: Fred Titmuss
There’s only one “s” in Titmus…………..
21 April 2010
Alan K
Did anyone else catch the small piece in the Independent on Saturday magazine? Its was an item called ‘Minor British Institutions’ and was all about HMHB; listing quite a lot of their songs and thanking them. It’s online here.
25 April 2010
Ricardo
Helen Chamberlain (again, see Colin’s post from December 9th) on Soccer AM today, “Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.” Over a clip of, er, a dog on the pitch.
15 May 2010
Godsy
Jonathan Meades – Abroad Again (2007) – Episode 4 – Heaven: Folkwoven In England, 20 minutes 14 seconds, a fair portion of “Time Flies By (When You’re A Driver Of A Train)” is played. Jonathan Meades and HMHB. Beautiful.
And here it is on YouTube – Ed
24 May 2010
Mark J
Just watchin the 20/20 cricket on sky -in the commentary box, David Lloyd mentioned Simon & Garfunkel to Nick Knight, Knight said he knew them but didn’t know any of their songs, Lloyd, quick as a flash, said ‘Trouble over Bridgewater’ was their best known work.
1 June 2010
Barney
Stumbled upon a World Cup blog (well WC at the moment but looking through the archives there’s also other stuff including lots of non-league football) which appears to be using HMHB lyrics as post titles.
It also seems to be trying to predict the games by seeing which national animal would win in a fight! Most strange.
Am I Supposed to be At Home
15 June 2010
Dave F.
Don’t know where else to put this general HMHB news, but Marc Riley’s just announced he’s trying to get them in for a session sometime in August.
Nigel usually seems to only do sessions when he has new songs, so hopefully an album is in the pipeline.
29 June 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Paddy Shennan in the Liverpool Echo gets a bit apologetic about a lyrics quote.
30 June 2010
Dave Betts
I’m glad it’s not just me and Mr B that like a bit of drizzle.
30 June 2010
tony of crosby
Mr Shennan, one of the 60 at the Radio Merseyside gig a couple of years ago. Top bloke.
30 June 2010
Paul F
As soon as I saw the theme of this week’s “Inventory” in the (peerless) Onion’s AV Club, I hoped it would include “Bad Review”. And it did. I suspect there will be much scratching of American heads:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/praise-then-crucify-25-antimusicjournalist-songs,42793/
6 July 2010
Third rate Les
“The jangly, jokey indie outfit—best known for its contribution to NME’s legendary C86 compilation in 1986”? What does that mean? Still, I suppose it makes a change from “best known for that song about Nerys Hughes”.
Still, I suppose I’m now slamming a review about songs about bad reviews about songs, which is getting a little confusing and postmodern.
7 July 2010
Charles Exford
Is it just me or does he not get the song at all ? It’s a piss-take of the _group_ writing that kind of letter to the music press surely ?
9 July 2010
Paul F
“…uses “Bad Review” almost as a parody of anti-journalist songs.”
I think if he hadn’t ruined it by including the word “almost” he could have been credited with “getting it”. Or maybe the “almost” refers to the difference being it’s a letter rather than a song.. although it IS a song…
12 July 2010
Norbert D
I know a couple of ex-music journalists, and while they’re always eager to point out how many of their former colleagues were indeed complete dickheads, they’re very fond of “Bad Review”. Along with “Used To Be In Evil Gazebo”, it’s probably as close as any song’s ever come to being pro-press, anti-musician.
13 July 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Top work Duncan Nisbet in When Saturday Comes’ “Weekly Howl”:
“What overpowering impulse is it that takes a chap from the Slough of Despond straight to Foam Party in three seconds, from Nation’s Shame to Hello Mum?”
You can see the quote here, a few paragraphs after a rather prophetic quote about Howard Webb.
14 July 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Nice piece in The Guardian on the fabulous Newport State Of Mind video pays due homage to HMHB.
2 August 2010
Colin
Whilst watching the distinctly average Knight and Day(The latest Tom Cruise offerring) he utters the line “well they are loaded for bear”. it brightened up an otherwise dull and insipid afternoon.
16 August 2010
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
the opponents in tonight’s episode of Eggheads were named “Trouble Over Bridgewater” as a tribute to HMHB and as 3 of the team live there.
6 September 2010
Alan K
Live performance and more from Danny Kelly’s Under The Moon on YouTube.
15 September 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Twitter folks have been doing “fictitious HMHB albums” recently. A few good ideas in there.
1 October 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Readers recommend songs about vegetables in The Guardian today mentions “Prac Veg at the Melkweg”. Only kidding.
1 October 2010
chedgzoy
An unlikely source, but the name on the front cover of everyone’s favourite (Johnny) Quango, the Audit Commission’s, latest report namechecks a certain Thomas Tallis, of ‘I went to a Wedding’ fame.
27 October 2010
chedgzoy
Should have put this in the PBRs section sorry
27 October 2010
Bonnevilleinbits
It’s a double PBR – statistics on Blue Badge abuse lurk within..
27 October 2010
chedgzoy
Can’t believe I failed to spot that – good work!
27 October 2010
warebloke
Just had a weekly cartoon from Iffyton t-shirts – noticed a mention “Turner Prize Judge” then right under “Christ That’s good” – emailed the site, they told me it was indeed a ref to If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day and that they are playing a version of it on Thursday, it’s on their gig guide.
12 November 2010
Sera_6969
Physical stutterer, Stephen Hendry reveals 10 year battle with the Yips… Alas, not the epic battle to free said HMHB single of all its cellophane and sticky plastic stickers…
9 December 2010
Paul F
Clearly this week’s Guardian Sports Blog compiler didn’t need much of an excuse to shoehorn in HMHB.
13 December 2010
Charles Exford
@ Paul
Yes, very shoe-horned indeed – it’s fairly clear that for whatever reason Dukla didn’t wear their away kit that night, and I’m not sure it was even their home kit either.
Strangely, around 15 years or so ago, Toffs used to sell the home shirt as the away shirt, based on research the sum total of which, according to their website, was to look in the Spurs programme for that night in 1962 and find a picture of what was in fact the home kit !
As Toffs only begain to sell this shirt in response to public demand based on the song, and as Our Lads weren’t even born in 1962 anyway, I hereby nominate this for the worst piece of football-kit-related research ever. And at over £30 a pop. They put it right fairly soon as many of you know and for most of the last 15 years they’ve made it clear which is the away shirt
http://www.toffs.com/icat/duklaprague/
Though the fact that the home shirt still isn’t really labelled as such and that Xmas presents are often bought by spouses may explain why you always see a couple of home shirts at gigs. Either that or they just want to be independent in their choice of clothes, thank you very much.
Confusingly, and I think just starting this season, Dukla seem to be playing their home matches in the gold that has always been the main colour of the away kit.
13 December 2010
Paul F
And a good excuse for reminding people of the UEFA Champions League Magazine article I flagged up on the official site 5 years ago.
http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/champions1.jpg
http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/champions2.jpg
Worth reading for the theory expounded by the author of Tor! that there was a subconscious Spurs fan in HMHB.
13 December 2010
Charles Exford
Glad you posted that again, Paul. I’m not sure I knew how to enlarge the article enough to read it properly 5 years ago !
Update for those who don’t know – since 2007 Dukla Praha have been back in the Czech 2nd division and back in their old stadium in Prague.
(can’t believe we haven’t been yet, though Mrs & Exford and I both went on separate pilgrimages to Pribram before were together !)
At the recent Preston gig I saw the only other Prague-bought DPA shirt I’ve ever seen apart from mine. The wearer said he’d bought it in the Sparta Prague shop about 10 years ago, same as me. And just like Toffs, the shop said they only had them in stock cos HMHB fans would ask for them (well, they said “British tourists”, but I knew they meant HMHB fans).
13 December 2010
Poolio
Not a subtle reference…
Spotted this on the techradar website… (a form of media..)
“You might also argue that unlimited data makes up for the lack of bundled Wi-Fi that you get with similar plans from O2, Vodafone and Orange. Then again, as Half Man Half Biscuit once sang, it’s clichéd to be cynical at Christmas. It’s a refreshing bit of clarity in an industry that often seems hell-bent on confusing people, and if I were thinking of buying an iPhone, Android or other smartphone Three would be looking very attractive today”
Do I get a prize?
16 December 2010
Charles Exford
On the bright side though Paul, today’s Lux Familiar draw means another trip to the sports shops of Prague in February, 10 years since we last played in Czech.
Good timing ‘cos a couple of seams went at the Holmfirth gig last night, one in the shirt and one somewhat more significantly in the shorts.
17 December 2010
Third Rate Les
HMHB get a mention in the current edition of Viz.
There’s an entry for “Titmuss paper” in the Profanisaurus, with the clarification that this refers to Abi, not Fred Titmuss (sic) of Half Man Half Biscuit fame.
As a stalwart purchaser of Viz I have to say the latest one, including the calendar, isn’t up to much, aside from the usual startling bleakness of The Drunken Bakers. Not as funny as it used to be…
21 December 2010
Bobby String
Well, for me it’s a bit like living in Wantage because you can’t get Viz in Johannesburg, but from my recollections it’s been “not as funny as it used to be” for quite some time now. Mind you, I always used to enjoy their adverts for sheds and their crap jokes.
Ô¿Ô
22 December 2010
Charles Exford
12.21 to 12.29 approx on Radio 4 just now, “You and Yours”included a report about the current craze for grown-up Scalectrix at clubs like the one in Marple (100-foot track) which was featured. It belongs in this thread because the reporter included the words “dodgy transformer” without acknowledgement. The background music (which began about 1 minute into the report) was of course so predictable that I was alredy singing it before it came on. But the reporter/producer must be a real fan, as the track was reprised later on to end the report with the “-err” echo. Still no acknowledgement, though.
29 December 2010
Ricardo
First Drafts, in the latest* Private Eye, shows Ralph Vaughan Williams sitting at a piano, his sheet music headed: “Lark Descending.”
For those non-Private Eye readers among us, First Drafts is a regular cartoon consisting of a single frame in which a famous author or composer sits at their desk, upon which sits a piece of paper with some humorous twist on one of their works.
Favourites of mine include Hardy: “It was a wet day in the Wessex countryside – I won’t bore you with the details” and Shakespeare: “Lear divides up his kingdom among his three daughters with hilarious consequences.”
*not latest
30 December 2010
chedgzoy
Fantastic discussion during between renowned HMHB fan Bumble and Mike Atherton during the morning session of the Sydney test. Apparently Billy the trumpeter from the Barmy Army (kill, kill, kill, stab murder and dispatch) has learnt ‘Lord Hereford’s Knob,’ which prompted bumble to list some of his favourite songs, including ‘Golly Gosh it’s Fred Titmus’
‘Half Biscuit’ currently trending on twitter as a result
3 January 2011
Groucho Merckx
Of questionable relevance, admittedly, but nice all the same to see the Dukla logo adorning the Slovakian biathlon team’s kit, most notably on the person of Anastasiya Kuzmina. I’m a Neuner and Domracheva fan myself, but nevertheless it raised a smile.
24 January 2011
Charles Exford
She must surely then be a member of the SK Dukla Banská Bystrica, which as an SK as opposed to an FK has all sorts of affiliated sports, as opposed to FK Dukla Praha. Their logo has white lettering of the word Dukla on the old red Czechoslovak army campaign badge, as opposed to Dukla Prague’s gold.
Just a guess of course, based on the fact that she isn’t Czech and she isn’t a footballer.
I didn’t google her, ‘cos the name “Grouch Merkx” alone (chapeau) had already taken up my entire week’s googling and internet stalking allowance, and well worth it it was too.
24 January 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Walsall manager Dean Smith is now officially the Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project’s favourite manager, and The Saddlers are now this site’s official team (along with Tranmere Rovers, of course). Anyone who likes a bit of Rod Steward (sic) is OK with us. Actually, it’s a shame that Dean is already sponsored by Walsall Carpets or we could have had a whip-round.
12 February 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Not so much “lyrics in the media”, but “the band name in the media”: apparently at a Wellcome Collection Symposium this afternoon called Drugs In Victorian Britain, speaker Michael Neve said, in a talk called Varieties of Experience: Drugs and self experimentation in the late 19th century, that Half Man Half Biscuit got their name from Mescal: A New Artificial Paradise by Havelock Ellis. This is according to a couple of tweeters who were there.
12 February 2011
Charles Exford
With all due respect for the excitement this seems to have engendered (and requesting your indulgence towards any posts I make during these dark depths of the Football League Show) ….
… but if comments on twitterface about facetious passing references to HMHB by lecturers trying to sound cool suddenly count as “the media” then we are surely scraping the biscuit barrel.
Obviously we don’t know exactly what this acerbic academic has said, but there’s surely no way he’s seriously suggested that the band’s name has anything to do with Ellis’ anecdote. I’m guessing he’s just bored with constant references to The Doors getting their name from the title of Huxley’s book about mescaline (and originally from Blake) and he’s made a tongue-in-cheek comment about imagining HMHB might have been similarly inspired by Ellis’ episode of hallucinatory-munchies-conflagration.
Mind you, it is not too far from the sort of misinformation that NB57 might on occasions be proud of. And it might also suggest an explanation for the latest hole that has appeared singed into Mrs Exford’s jeans, though she’s emphatically denied polishing off my mescal and the Mexican hobnobs I’d been saving for a special night.
13 February 2011
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
Wasn’t there a record label named Half Man Half Biscuit in the late 70’s/early 80’s?
15 February 2011
Toerag
There is a version of the Hitler/”Downfall” meme on YouTube where the source of Adolf’s anger is the failure of our lads to reach no.6 with JDOGs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ5_h3BPDL8
Here’s to Duritti Column spice racks!
18 February 2011
Charles Exford
SGD: Thanks for reminding us of the Half Man Half Biscuit record label, my learned Salopian friend. According to Gez’s site at least, the band name came before the label. And thanks to the wonders of YouTube we can go back and listen to the tracks the label put out.
The ‘official’ history on Gez’s site (presumably from the horse’s mouth) tells us that HMHB approached Birkenhead’s Skeleton Records with their first demo tape, but it doesn’t tell us the year. Skeleton was basically the local record shop/record exchange (and, from personal memory, what a fantastic treasure trove it was) but they put out a few records under various label names. In 1980 Skeleton had released two tracks by Attempted Moustache, featuring Simon Blackwell and Paul, two of the five original HMHB members. Skeleton said no to putting out HMHB, but asked if they could borrow Nigel’s band name for a record label to release some singles by Birkenhead punk band Instant Agony.
By the way, it’s perhaps also interesting that around the same time (c.1983) nearly half of HMHB’s original line-up, i.e. Nigel’s brother Simon plus Paul, after Attempted Moustache, were briefly in a band called the Bisquits. Had they temporarily quit the Biscuits at that time perhaps?
23 February 2011
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
Once again mr Exford has popped up with the goods.
Just to confirm the dates “Think of England” entered the indie charts (aaah those were the days) 31/7/1982 and “Fashion Parade” 19/3/1983.
23 February 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
The April edition of Mojo comes with its usual giveaway CD, this one entitled ‘Panic: 15 tracks of riotous ’80s indie insurrection’. Somewhat incongruously track 6 is National Shite Day. Whilst I’m not complaining, I suspect that the ‘track selection coherence software’ has been tampered with. Probably by a junior employee.
12 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Being in possession of said artefact, I did wonder that myself but I think the thread is that the songs are inspired by, not necessarily a document of, the 1980s activist thing.
13 March 2011
John Anderson
I can’t recall any 1980s activists taking to the streets to protest against rail replacement services, dismal TVM or a lack of pedestrain etiquette.
13 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Like I (thought I) said, it was to do with the spirit of the thing, not necessarily specifics.
13 March 2011
Franco
I have recently tried sneaking in Biscuit references into my music reviews for Londonist.com (700k pageviews per month, 28k twitter “friends”).
Latest two references here and here.
15 April 2011
Charles Exford
Was discussing today’s Hillsborough tragedy anniversary and David Conn’s fine (as usual) article about it with a mate who expressed cautious optimism that the current inquiry would reveal the truth about the police/government/media conspiracy to cover up the responsibility.
Automatically I told him “your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead”. He thought I was making a bit of a tasteless joke, so I had to explain why I thought the line had emerged from my data retrieval system at that moment, and why it was so poignant and moving to me in this context. I can’t explain exactly why here, but trust me, it is.
Justice for the 96, their families and friends.
15 April 2011
Charlie, E ...
Gooner media luvvy Eleanor Oldroyd trying to have it both ways on Fighting Talk this morning, citing Bob Wilson Anchorman during her tribute to the soporific ex-presenter but saying “I don’t agree with the song’s sentiments”. No surprise (but nonetheless slightly disappointing) to hear Colin Murray agree with her. After all he’s a man who regularly shared a studio with John Barnes.
23 April 2011
Peter Gandy
Tonight’s Eastenders – about 20 minutes in:
Mo: Half Man Half Biscuit.
Julie: Are you sure?
Denise: Yeah, they were Zeno’s favourites. He played them all the time.
(Disclaimer: my daughter told me and I checked on iPlayer ;-) However, I used to think that Nigel sang ‘Ian Beale is all my arse’ in On Reaching the Wensum.)
Ed’s note: see my comment a few places below.
26 April 2011
Toffo 78 Huyton
Cheers Peter. Thumbs up to the scriptwriters for that one.
Re- the LF Cup- do we have play-offs in place yet? We have play-offs this week at Evo-Stik/ Unibond/ Northern Premier League level so maybe a little bit of LF action just to whet the appetite…..cheers!
26 April 2011
Chris the Siteowner
I thought there were enough games coming up in the second stage without playoffs from the first…
26 April 2011
Toffo 78 Huyton
No probs Chris, second stage sounds good. Perhaps a bit like World Cup 82….looking fwd to it.
26 April 2011
Chris The Siteowner
OK, regarding Peter’s (daughter’s) great EastEnders spottage (above), here’s the clip on YouTube… Scriptwriter is credited as Roy Boulter. And if you do a quick bit of Googling, you discover that Roy “was the drummer in the Liverpool based pop group The Farm (…who…) went on to write for …soap operas”…
26 April 2011
John Burscough
He also co-wrote the episode of Brookside in which HMHB were mentioned (Ep 2628 “Calling”; see ‘name-checks’ halfway down the page).
http://www.brooksidesoapbox.co.uk/guide_64.htm
And his manager while in The Farm was Kevin Sampson, who famously described Fred Titmus as “fiery Yorkshire pace legend” in the Guardian (see above).
27 April 2011
RudeDog
On last nights eastenders when Ben was sat at his laptop he was searching for ‘Nigel Blackwell’
27 April 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
If the answer was ‘Half Man, Half Biscuit’ then what was the question?
My guess would be ‘Which 1990’s Liverpudlian Punk band famously turned down the chance to appear on The Tube, even though Channel Four offered to fly them there by helicopter, as the drummer’s footy faves Tranmere Town were playing that night?’
27 April 2011
John Anderson
I’m told HMHB and The Farm used to regularly play football against each other.
27 April 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I really hope Roy Boulter has enough clout to introduce characters such as the notoriously hapless gardener Mr Galbraith, or a petty criminal known as Stringy Bob …
27 April 2011
Peter Gandy
Rudedog, that was a fantastic spot. Chapeau.
27 April 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Oh, and did he manage to sneak a game of darts into the episode as well?
28 April 2011
Rich
There a mention of Twydale’s Lament on the BBC site today in an article about graffiti.
25 May 2011
CharlieW
Everytime I find one of these, someone else has already posted it. Well done, Rich, for being quicker than me.
25 May 2011
Bobby String
I see there was a mention of Uffington in there as well, but alas no wassail.
Ô¿Ô
25 May 2011
spoonunit
Heard Elvis McGonagall do some poetry on R4 which included the line ‘dance, dance, dance, dance, in your Joy Division Oven Gloves’ ! !
He’s also got a poem called ‘This land is our land’
Shomething Biscuity shurely…
29 May 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Is Nigel’s BP advert to be found on YouTube or some such outlet? Or is it just another of his apocryphal tales? I don’t remember any BP advert from back then and I certainly wasn’t aware of Nigel’s involvement at the time.
It’s mentioned in a Guardian interview from 2001, the writer seems to have done his homework to an extent but not quite enough, as he seems satisfied as to the actual existence of It Ain’t Half Man, Mum, while he misquotes lyrics he obviously doesn’t know and seems to regard the rest of the band as session musicians.
Just curious.
Yep, several years later, it’s been tracked down – CtSO
30 May 2011
evil gazebo
It was real. And on quite a bit at the time. Quite marvellous. Afraid I don’t have a copy though.
1 June 2011
evil gazebo
On the subject of media, I’m not sure if this counts but I remember NME running an HMHB day for the launch of “Four Lads’. They surreptitiously inserted some free adverts on their website for the band and dedicated their bulletin board to the band.
1 June 2011
Dave Wiggins
In the new issue of ‘Viz’ (not as funny as it used to be, etc), Gilbert Ratchet’s grandpa has ‘restless legs’. That’s all.
8 June 2011
Third Rate Les
Not as funny as it used to be, and includes an article called “Man injured by falling chandelier” which I just don’t get at all. I just can’t tell what they’re getting at – really odd. Still, scrabbling to find some relevance here, er, it does mention Noel Edmonds.
8 June 2011
S.G.D A SHROPSHIRE LAD
http://blogs.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2011/06/10/five-great-british-oddballs/
10 June 2011
Dave Wiggins
Fair play to long-time Biscuit-championing journalist, Dave Kidd of ‘The (Sunday) People’. In his column, yesterday, Dave berated some sportsman or other (Lleyton Hewitt?) who “wears his baseball cap the wrong way ’round”.
27 June 2011
TWO FAT FEET
If this is the same Dave Kidd who used to be at the Currant Bun, I used to know him when he was deputy sports ed of the Romford Recorder. Never knew he was a Biscuit Man though.
27 June 2011
John Anderson
It is the same Dave Kidd. He was in the Defector’s Weld before the gig having a drink with 5Live’s Nigel Adderley who’s also fan and knows the other Nigel through a mutual love of Tranmere Rovers.
27 June 2011
TWO FAT FEET
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jun/26/glastonbury-2011-politcs-protests
29 June 2011
Hagerty F.
Didn’t know exactly where to post this, but here seems as good as any. I am currently undertaking a large-scale Half Man Half Biscuit project, which involves adding links to the HMHB wikipedia page on every single celebrity mentioned in songs’ own wikipedia page (Una Stubbs, John the Baptist etc.), each time referring to the band themselves by various snappy descriptions (indie grumblers, post-punk quartet, Tranmere enthusiasts etc.). You may wish to follow my progress, although currently I’m struggling to get through the first few tracks on Back In The DHSS…
30 June 2011
Paul F
I liked “Post-punk quibblers”.
30 June 2011
Shirley Dimensions
@Dave Wiggins Yes, you do (win £5).
30 June 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I’ll offer up “bomb-heaving satirists” when you start to run out of ideas, if only because it rhymes with Chatteris.
If I recall correctly it was Q’s review of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road (which, bizarrely, considered their prospects of breaking America) which described them as “indie miserablists”.
30 June 2011
Bobby String
I’ve already added a link to this site from the Mary Ann Hobbs (or however you spell it) Wikipedia page so that’s one less for you to worry about when you eventually get round to Nove On The Sly. :-)
Ô¿Ô
1 July 2011
Hagerty F.
Strangely, Ali Bongo is one of the few ‘celebrities’ to have already been added to by a Biscuit enthusiast…
2 July 2011
S.G.D A SHROPSHIRE LAD
The light at the end of the media tunnel
2 July 2011
TWO FAT FEET
“relentlessly sardonic indie perennials”
Hagerty F, store for future use.
3 July 2011
Sandy Coloured Clown
Re:
Hagerty F’s request.
Just added to Phil Cool’s site for when you get to it, as ‘obstinately independent Wirral band’. Interestingly, there’s a decent section on Big Phil’s impression of Kendo Nagasaki…
4 July 2011
chedgzoy
I’ve noticed HMHB references in wikipedia relating to ‘Bullbarrrow Hill’ and ‘Fampton Comes Alive!’
4 July 2011
Mark Ashworth
On radio Five Live yesterday Mark Pougatch said ‘Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train, as they say’. They do Mark. Especially if they spent the ’80s listening to indie music.
4 July 2011
swanaldo
Do we need a separate section for the ‘Bikiepedia’ project?
4 July 2011
Emerging From Gorse
Never thought I’d see HMHB get a mention in my daily newspaper but, on page 83 of today’s Racing Post, sports betting editor Phi Agius writes:
“The world stopped turning for a nanosecond on Sunday as football fans across the globe marvelled at the rare but cherished sight of a dog on the pitch during Brazil’s Copa America clash against Venezuela.
“It wasn’t much of a dog, true, but then mangy brown ones are the best at this work and the canine intruder played his role superbly, earning countless TV and viral video appearances.
“The art of the dog on the pitch has been enshrined in music in the Half Man Half Biscuit song Even Men With Steel Hearts (Love To See A Dog On The Pitch), whose chorus adds: ‘It generates a warmth around the ground that augurs well for mankind; And that’s what life’s about.’ ”
Coincidentally, there’s a meeting at Uttoxeter later today. I can feel a placepot coming on….
5 July 2011
Pop Tart Mark
Placepot Uttoxeter down by 18.25
Assuming we were all on “Balladeer” in the first (cos it did have a VERY big nose).
5 July 2011
Hagerty F.
I’m afraid that Wikipedia and the powers that be have decided to remove most of my Half Man Half Biscuit references (I believe only Una Stubbs and Bobby Charlton remain). I therefore grudgingly accept that the system has beaten me, and resign from my post as Bicciepedia editor.
15 July 2011
TWO FAT FEET
To add to the pragVEC theme, this month’s Mojo has a picture of them captioned ‘pragVEC not at the Melkweg’.
15 July 2011
S.G.D A SHROPSHIRE LAD
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/jul/13/football-transfer-rumours-gary-cahill
21 July 2011
Dave Wiggins
Ben Shepherd, off of the telly, in this week’s ‘Mail on Sunday’, about his love for ‘Junior Kick Start’, as a boy.
8 August 2011
Swanaldo
Journo Caitlin Moran just tweeted ‘Everyone in “The Duchess” has hair like Brian May’.
25 August 2011
Dave Kirby
Clearly a fan at Empire somewhere. He mentioned “primitive creature of the heath” the other day, and a while ago he dropped hip hop chip shop into a story about Michael Haneke (rather well!).
28 August 2011
Dave Wiggins
Good spot Dave. One of my (probably deluded) proudest moments was using ‘standing forward of this notice’ in an issue of WSAG a good year or two before NB57 deployed the same line. As Mr B is a subscriber to the said fanzine, I immodestly put two and two together (and no doubt emerged with five. Still, I can but dream)…………
29 August 2011
gordo
I think it would have been impossible to write an article about Len Ganley without mentioning the “merseyside post-punk band” Half Man Half Biscuit
29 August 2011
Chris Quinn
The BBC put in a mention of “King of Hi Vis” today
30 August 2011
Tony Silvey
King of hi-vis lyrics in this BBC article about hi-vis vests.
30 August 2011
Alan k>
Tunes about big skies & girls eyes? God forbid!
30 August 2011
Charles Exford
Hope David Owens’ English teacher doesn’t suss where he copied his homework from.
31 August 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Ummm. I stopped reading after “they’re back with a UK tour ….”
31 August 2011
Dave Kirby
Not strictly on message, but since nobody seems to have mentioned it before… This fella left his heart in Papworth General!
15 September 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Ah, it seems you still need the help of Basil Exposition to get Half Man Half Biscuit jokes into the mainstream.
28 September 2011
Paul F
OK – who’s responsible for the HMHB reference in the wikipedia entry for the Lesser Free Trade Hall? Good work.
28 September 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Well, not only is there another “Get Half Man Half Biscuit to Number One for Christmas” campaign going, but it would appear to have the active backing of the excellent Dr Brooke Magnanti (@belledejour_uk) no less, who’s tweeting about it enthusiastically. Not sure I’ve spotted her out moshing recently, but all celebrity supporters are always welcome. Go click that “Share” link, Facebookers.
29 September 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Judging by what’s happening on Twitter, I have a feeling I’m about to be put right as regards to casting doubt on the good doctor’s moshing record…
29 September 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Oh OK, as she’s obviously too modest to post it herself, here’s Belle de Jour’s account of an HMHB gig from Playing The Game (2008). Respect. And NSFW, of course.
29 September 2011
gordo
The Daily Telegraph opened a story about the SPL experimenting with Friday night football with a reference to HMHB without mentioning Friday Nights and The Gates Are Low
1 October 2011
gordo
a very recent tweet from belledejour_uk
“gingerbread man biscuit cutter obtained. To the shops in the next few days Half Man Half Biscuit biscuits imminent #hmhbxmas “
3 October 2011
Dave Wiggins
Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like London Planetarium just name-checked on The Football League Show.
9 October 2011
Paul Rodgers (Crimond)
and as per usual that annoying twot Clem got it wrong. We were called what Dave said, not Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like THE London Planetarium like what Clem said.
And there’s no saying that BMH is dead. We ressurected it for one paper issue in 2008, if needs be we would do the same again.
9 October 2011
Dave Wiggins
I have a couple of back issues somewhere, from the early 90’s. A great read, indeed, Paul. Cap doffed, Sir.
9 October 2011
VILLAPETE
A programme on Radio 4 the other day about the Irish priest sex-abuse scandal mentioned that the Irish Prime Minister had ‘delivered a broadside to the Vatican’. The documentary’s scriptwriter surely slipped that in deliberately.
11 October 2011
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
The Big Brother spin-off programme (which I just discovered the missus watching in bed, behind a copy of the Times) appeared briefly to have the Achtung Bono cover, minus captions, on a screen in the background.
12 October 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Man up, Spence. There’s worse things that you could have discovered the missus doing in bed. (Behind a copy of The Times or otherwise.)
13 October 2011
Chris The Siteowner
This is quite beautiful. Micky (The Hoss) writes: “I thought you lot might like to see this – I have just finished a scale model of Leicester City’s old ground, Filbert Street, which as now gone on permanent display at the club’s current King Power Stadium. I wanted to sneak a little piece of HMHB in the model somewhere, so I did this! Thousands of people will see the model all the time…”
Truly a work of art. It made us cry like girls.
13 October 2011
s.g.d.
even men with steel hearts will love to see that advertising hoarding!
13 October 2011
Dave Wiggins
Spot-on that, Micky, lad.
14 October 2011
micky (the hoss)
Ha Ha, Cheers Chris, Nice One. We’ve got quite a HMHB posse in Leicester(shire), our football messageboard “Bentleys Roof” got a mention by NB at Leamington which was nice!!
If you’re bored check out my HMHB Vids at YouTube.
14 October 2011
Mr Larrington
Micky, that is made of 100% win!
14 October 2011
Paul Fenton
Here’s a gift of an article to comment on. Bottomless perdition indeed.
14 October 2011
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
Just noticed the the latest issue of Word also carries an article about the Inbetweeners movie headlined Half Men, Half Dipsticks.
Also the letters page of said magazine has, for several months now, titled all the letters with mish-mash headlines relating to their content, prompting one reader to comment that they all sound like Half Man Half Biscuit song titles (I’m thinking along the lines of Running Order Squabble Fest, Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite).
16 October 2011
Jeff Buckley
Is Sir Alex a fan I wonder?? From tonights match on the BBC live text.
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson on his side’s hard-fought win over Otelul: “I think in a lot of these away games, you have to work hard to get victory. They made life difficult for us. I was satisfied with the result. It was a long night and they had to be patient.” On Nemanja Vidic’s red card: “He’s raised his foot and, particularly in Europe, I can see why he’s given it but it was harsh. I shouldn’t think we’ll appeal.”
18 October 2011
iffy voice
Just before the kick of of the third and fourth place rugby world cup final this morning, Mark Saggers on Talksport said that “a Welsh victory against Australia in the southern hemisphere was as rare as hens’ teeth”. Didn’t make the room look any bigger though.
21 October 2011
Chris The Siteowner
The model Filbert Street project mentioned above now has its own website at Filbert Street in Miniature.
29 October 2011
andy
not really a lyric
more of an observation
on andy hamiltons search for the devil on bbc4
he repeatedly says
“book of revelationS”
31 October 2011
Joke Shop Excrement
Anybody seen this? Thoughts?
Margate? Nearly every weekend?
7 November 2011
Third rate Les in his Burberry fez
That’s an odd one – I saw that too.
Is there a fixture list we don’t know about?!
7 November 2011
John Burscough
Never mind Margate, nearly every weekend; The Telegraph??
7 November 2011
Chesneywold
That’s got to be someone taking Nigel’s name in vain. The attitude and the style are all wrong. Someone has obviously thought well Nigel writes funny letters, why not write a letter signed as him and throw in a few ‘jokes’ such as touring every weekend. Taint enough. Poor.
7 November 2011
Junior Ed (Wirral Globe)
Never mind Margate, nearly every weekend, The Telegraph …. what about the Xenophobia ????
We have written to the Torygraph online editorial staff assuring them that in all of his dozens of letters to us, Mr. Blackwell has never used his own name. I also included a sample of his handwriting and a selection of aliases used previously in his many missives: Nick Drake, Joel Garner, Ian Curtis, Henry Rollins, Maud Exford etc.
What goes around comes around I suppose.
7 November 2011
Chris The Siteowner
The ever-reliable Andrew Harrison in The Word, December 2011.
7 November 2011
Third rate Les in his Burberry fez
Not so sure it’s really xenophobic – simple fact is it’s easier for foreign-registered vehicles to get away with small-ish speeding infringements.
On a related matter, the accident puts a melancholy tinge on the title “Trouble over Bridgwater”. I went on one of those AA driving courses a few months ago and they showed us a reconstruction of the very similar Hungerford accident. Never, ever stop in the hard shoulder if you can possibly avoid it, not even if you’ve witnessed a crash (and this is the only time you can ever use your phone while driving).
8 November 2011
Paul F
I’ve been on that course as well Les. Many years ago, but I remember the M4 crash reconstruction very well.
8 November 2011
Mr Galbraith
The xenophobia, humourless style, Margate domicile and the very thought of writing to the Torygraph are not in our hero’s idiom. And NB57 would never make the schoolboy error of referring to his native isle as ‘the’ Britain… Unless he’s had exposure from descending the Stiperstones. (Incidentally, Chris Hawkins played this on his 6 Music breakfast programme last Wednesday (I think). He said it reminded him of where he grew up. Well done, Chris. Turned my face into a sea of smiles as I blearily ate my sugar puffs at 6.30am!)
12 November 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Regarding the Torygraph tosh, if you live by the sword, then I’m afraid you may well die by the sword. This one however (although old) is, I feel, more genuine.
http://www.movingtone.com/news/preview-half-man-half-biscuit
Apologies to those who have seen it before.
12 November 2011
Comedy Hypnotist
Regular readers might recall that Times Business Editor Ian King has a ‘bit of previous’ when it comes to sneaky HMHB references in his columns. So one might suspect he was listening to ‘Joy in Leeuwarden’ when he noted in today’s Business Commentary:
“Curious goings-on in Hungary where […] Viktor Orbán’s Government bade a hearty Isten Hozta to an IMF task force”.
22 November 2011
Kate W
A direct lyric quote in the Guardian today – in a Notes and Queries piece about bad rhymes:
23 November 2011
Paul F
Kate – perhaps even the editor is on it as he has placed a quote from Bette Davies Eyes immediately above the HMHB example.
24 November 2011
John Byrne
Gratuitous and inappropriate – have a look at the caption on the second slide…
24 November 2011
John Anderson
A brief mention here.
25 November 2011
Charles Exford
John – thanks for that, you’ve made an old man very happy, as that piece brings together my favourite DJ. favourite bands & very favourite iconography from my favourite area of archaelogy.
In fact my only tattoo is this image from the British Museum, inscribed on my back. Now I know The Devourer is Mark E. Smith my inscription is truly complete!
25 November 2011
s.g.d.
Mention in an interview with Alex James…
27 November 2011
Paul F
Surprisingly comes across as less of a tool than normal in that interview. And not just because of the HMHB reference.
29 November 2011
John Burscough
Bit cheesy.
29 November 2011
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
Len Ganley Stance lyrics extensively quoted in this month’s Word, on the Best and Worst page. Basically uses the dance moves to describe planking.
5 December 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
And just in case, like me, you didn’t have a clue what Spencer was on about, this site will shed some light.
http://www.planking.me/
“Keep your arms as rigid as a juggernaut
Clench your fists, point your knuckles straight ahead”.
Time for a new section perhaps Chris. Planking at sights mentioned on Stuart’s Half Map, Half Biscuit.
It gets a bit chilly planking on Lord Hereford’s Knob. (All of our planks look the same.)
5 December 2011
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
You could also possibly amend “Then try and pretend to look vertically dead” to “Then you find you’re actually horizontally dead”.
6 December 2011
J Buckley
A few indirect mentions on 5Live this morning!
Ed’s note: it was writer Mark Barrowcliffe. Chapeau, as many of our contributors here would say.
7 December 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
I missed that by about 5 minutes this morning; a pity as it would have undoubtedly put a smile on my face and set me up nicely for the day. As is often the case with these oblique mentions in the media, the fun comes in noting just how high the references fly over the other contributor’s heads. Both quotes, which were casually tossed into a typical 5Live Breakfast conversation about nothing of any significance whatsoever, are currently hovering some distance over MediaCityUk, seeking clearance to land.
7 December 2011
PapaLazarou
Well spotted JB… Made me chuckle…
19 December 2011
Chris The Siteowner
A mention of the band in Simon Pegg’s memoir “Nerd Do Well” (“a book that deliberately insults his fan base, I’m angry I bought it” – Amazon review). Apparently he was in a short-lived college band which “performed a few Half Man Half Biscuit numbers at the Edinburgh Fringe” – OK so far – but then ruins it by describing HMHB in a footnote as “Brilliant if short-lived eighties indie satirists”. Nerd done bad.
19 December 2011
Shirley Dimensions
Cheer up Chris…maybe NB57 will entwine an entire lyric around said Mr Pegg, thus massively increasing Simon’s chances of also being somewhat short in the lived department. Has anyone checked on Tommy Walsh recently by the way, there are sixteen empty milk bottles outside the eco house’s front door, are we sure he’s still with us?
19 December 2011
Mr Larrington
@Chris The Siteowner: I made this observation in October 2010 in the “Your PBRs” wossname. DKUATB ;-)
Ed’s Note. It’s late and I’m old, and there are seven and a half thousand comments on the site, and… and… (blows raspberry).
19 December 2011
Shirley Dimensions
Shirl’s note. It’s late and I’m old, and there are 350 ‘likes’ on Sex Pistols Archive, and…and…(flicks Vs in a Sid Vicious stylee).
20 December 2011
Mrs Gibson's
I’m not certain this is the right place to mention spottings in the media. There’s a magazine with an advert for the new SEAT in-car record turntable. 3 LP covers in the picture: Sgt Pepper’s, Thriller, and I’m sure I see the 3 rd one as This Leaden Pall. Nice.!
4 January 2012
Dave Wiggins
Things like this, ‘Mrs Gibson’s’, excite me to a disproportionate extent. More details please.
4 January 2012
Charles Exford
Yes please Mrs G, must see that – do tell which mag! The only results I could find on Google were a SEAT company page on Facebook (google SEAT Highway Hi-fi), where the albums on display do include Sgt. Pepper, but apart from that it’s Lady Gaga & Amy Winehouse….and a brief mention in Mixmag online, where disappointingly no mark out of 5 is given and the stock vinyl on display looks like a random selection of old punk.
Old Pa Exford will be most unimpressed that SEAT have adopted the same brand name as the somewhat more space-saving stereo from the old Plymouth outside.
4 January 2012
Dave Wiggins
I don’t appear to be able to post a ‘link’, but online Swine Magazine has a short piece, by Nigel, on his top ten Snowdonia walks. Get on it now; as amusing as you knew it would be.
5 January 2012
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Link to Dave’s piece.
5 January 2012
J Buckley
Not all Snowdonia walks, Foel Fenlli after Moel Fammau is in the low cloud base [usually] of the Clwydian hills. So am I!
6 January 2012
Charles Exford
Nice one Dave. Here by the way is the sign he refers to outside Llangelynnin church.
6 January 2012
Dave Wiggins
J Buckley. Spotted. I realised afterwards, but knew that you fellows would clock my minor typo. Cheers (and to Charles and Vendor for the follow-up). I used to pen a few things for SWINE, but didn’t realise it was still functional.
6 January 2012
Mrs Gibson's
Page 17 of February’s Mojo has a little ‘Some Product’ section.
Caption ‘On its axis: Fabs, Jacko, in the boot.’. They neglect to mention the 3rd LP sleeve.
7 January 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
This month’s Word includes on the letters page a chapeau to Nigel for his use of the word “tantamount”. Also Bad Wools and Eco House made it into the readers’ Festive Fifty. No doubt there are scattered references elsewhere, as anyone who has listened to the podcast over years will have noted that Andrew Harrison always tries to mention them at least twice whenever he’s on it.
9 January 2012
Paddy
Simon Mayo just this second has recited some of “For What is Chatteris”
!!! Could have knocked me down
13 January 2012
bobbybottler
you know that you’ve been on here too often when…..you hear Mayo and Kermode quoting “Chatteris” verbatim, and you feel compelled to get on here and let everyone know about it, and then you’re gutted because some other punter has got there first…
13 January 2012
Paddy
Sorry Bobbybottler. A complete fluke that I am working from home, something that I rarely ever do, with the radio on in the background. I was utterly stunned when he started quoting it, I think I may have started shaking a bit. What a great man.
13 January 2012
Jitsu.G
It’s about 1 hr 20 in for those listening again. Surely a phone call on Friday could see it being played on his all request radio 2 program
14 January 2012
andy
The first 10mins of the Radio 4 Extra drama “Elidor” was more or less all about a young girl’s quest for a Half Man Half Biscuit T-shirt. It’s just been repeated and is on iPlayer for the next few days.
15 January 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Very good. Interestingly, Alan Garner’s Elidor was written in 1962, so the original radio play and novel wouldn’t have mentioned the band. It began as a radio play, now lost, and was subsequently published as a novel. There was a TV adaptation in the 1990s (which I haven’t seen) that presumably introduced the HMHB reference – I found this discussion here mentioning it rather inconclusively. The current (new) radio production, which clearly attempts to be as up-to-date as possible (with references to mobile phones and broadband shoehorned into the first few minutes) retains the reference to the band, which seems as slightly awkward now as it appears to have been in the TV series. Why it should follow the TV series in that respect, rather than updating the reference to something more contemporary, or going back to whatever was in the original, I don’t know. However, it goes no further than the kids looking for an HMHB T-shirt, whereas it looks as if the TV series had more of a discussion on the band.
(Update from the future: for the TV clip, see here)
15 January 2012
RT17
I’ve just got off a Singapore Airlines flight where the first track on the ‘Rock City’ inflight radio channel was Tommy Walsh’s Eco House…
22 January 2012
Roots Hall
Nice mention in Live magazine today by Dylan Jones editor of something called GQ whatever that is.Claims to have seen the band in Bath 1985 no less.
22 January 2012
John Burscough
Marc Riley’s just played ‘Mr Cave’s A Window Cleaner Now’ from the Peel session on his R6M show (about 20 minutes in).
(First track was The Stooges’ ‘Search and Destroy’, which I would contend is the best programme opener of all time, with the possible exception of ‘Shake Some Action’.)
24 January 2012
Chris The Siteowner
The Guardian takes on National Shite Day. Brave effort, although National Shite Day wins.
16 February 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Probably the best place on the site to mention “Risk it for a Biscuit”, a fine new 2012 interview with NB57 by Andy von Pip* for The VPME. Nigel is as amusingly abstract as ever. This site gets a mention (yay!) but I’m not sure he quite answers the questions posed by the readers (thanks, by the way). And we find out where the band has been offered a gig this summer.
* “Founder editor, writer, reviewer, photographer and all round good guy at the VPME. Pops up on BBC radio occasionally, sounds like Ian McCulloch on ketamine fused with Ringo Starr trapped inside a bee hive on Brookside Close whilst making Paul Robeson sound like wee Jimmy Krankie. Nice beard too.”
8 March 2012
John Burscough
Excellent!
Tuna are quite big, aren’t they?
8 March 2012
Paul F
Pleased that my question on mirthless furniture and chuckling footstools was rated enjoyable, but the fact that they are not connected makes both less fathomable.
9 March 2012
Paul F
In the comments section of the umpteenth Guardian online article involving Alex James (he makes cheese you know) amid the many references to him being a bell-end, somebody quoted a HMHB lyric (I forget which one).
I then suggested a variant on Godwin’s Law, called Blackwell’s Law, which would state “As a Guardian article comments section gets longer, the probability of somebody invoking a humerous and apt Half Man Half Biscuit lyric approaches 1.” Sadly, the post I was responding to was then removed – and took mine with it.
12 March 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
Some fascinating insights into the songwriting process there in Andy’s interview I thought. I just hope that’s a photocopy of the Achtung Bono inlay getting all damaged there. Or one of them new-fangled graphic effects perhaps.
But the reason I’m responding at this particular moment is to say if any Biscuiteers do wish to share and compare their Cheltenham predictions (good shout that by Nige, though), let’s do so in the Yahoo group which does seem to have been taken over by such frippery (fantasy football, etc) already.
hmhb@yahoogroups.com
I’ll get tomorrow’s placepot up on there a bit earlier than today’s (it’s now about 20 minutes till the off), but there’s still plenty of time to get on Scotsirish in the 4.00 cross-country folks. My sources at the track reckon he should be 2-1 never mind 4-1.
Anyway see you on there maybe ?
13 March 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
I can understand your reluctance, after ‘the curse’ struck Scotsirish so damned accursedly yesterday. But let’s face it …YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO POP-TART MARK.
14 March 2012
Jan
Have just nearly driven off the road down here in Dorset. Am listening to Radio Two (yeah, all right) and Chatteris got mentioned on the traffic news. Simon Mayo said “I know a song about Chatteris”, name-checked NB57 and t’lads and proceeded to recite the first verse (wrongly, as it happens, but well…).
I’m off for a lie-down in a darkened room. Oh, and a vinegar compress, as well.
26 March 2012
Martin A
This spoof story surely owes a large debt to the band…
26 March 2012
Chris The Siteowner
OK, here’s the Simon Mayo lyric recital, archived for posterity. (Thanks J Buckley)
27 March 2012
Curlew
“I left my heart in Papworth General” was mentioned in a piece on music playing during minor surgery on Radio 5 Breakfast programme today as a particularly apt choice
28 March 2012
Paul F
I have to admit a soft spot for Mr Mayo’s bland, inoffensive but mildly amusing radio work these days. However “Matt’s Middle Aged Midweek Mosh” is a bit irritating. Given the high quality, genuine middle-aged moshing at HMHB gigs, and Mayo’s excellent taste, I’m tempted to request The Trumpton Riots.
28 March 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
On BBC Radio 6 Music from 1300.
10 April 2012
mate of the bloke
There’s little in the way of sunshine…apart from listening to the 6 Music interview.
8>)
14 April 2012
John Burscough
Interview here on iPlayer, available until Friday (from 1:09:00).
After a week of feverish anticipation, a bit short on revelation(s), to be honest. NB57 apparently likes walking in Snowdonia and going home after gigs, and was surprised to hear that HMHB have produced 12 albums (as was I).
Personal snippets: confirmation of age (13 in 1976); first singles owned Blondie’s “Denis” and Brian and Michael’s “Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs”; first musical heroes Electric Light Orchestra.
One for the Snowdonia fans: walking Cwm Eigiau in the Carneddau (few miles from Capel Curig and the Ogwen Lake).
Best bit: a second mention of the Parkgate Pony Sanctuary as a possible gig (bring the family down to their Family Fun Day at the Farmer’s Arms, Frankby on 4th June?).
15 April 2012
Chris The Siteowner
I’ve put the interview on YouTube here (I know, a bit silly using a video site for a radio clip, but they give you 10 minutes, unlike Audioboo). Slightly disappointing interview from a decent presenter, when you consider she did almost the same interview over eight years ago in September 2003 (thanks to Gez’s site for that). The whole thing, with the music, is here (thanks Jim).
15 April 2012
Dave Wiggins
Thanks Chris. Is it only me that thinks that Liz Kershaw could do with a ‘Listening Skills’ refresher? Or to know something about her subject matter in this instance?
16 April 2012
John Burscough
I’m afraid you’re not wrong, Dave. Reciting a list of album titles (even after being stopped and asked not to) and having no idea whether your subject has any recent or upcoming gigs is no way to run an interview, especially one as rare as this. Andy would’ve done a better job.
16 April 2012
GeordiePaul
Liz Kershaw is rubbish. She is worst thing about 6music,(apart from Funk or whatever they call it).
It was Liz that did all that cheating that meant that you can no longer win prizes from 6music anymore. She is always this crass I don’t know why the station puts up with her.
I won loads of good stuff from 6 music before the prizes ban was imposed. 2 New Order tickets for Finsbury Park, a copy of The Framley Examiner, a Pixies DVD, a jar of language pills, crucifixion nails, all sorts.
16 April 2012
Charles Exford
Ha, you think you’re out of luck. Mary Ann Hobbs still owes me massive mobs of Mozzer goodies from a competition in 1995. Never got me prizes, and have decided to more or less write it off now.
The cheating used to be ace though. My mate who worked for R1 got me to set the question for an Evening Session ‘connection’ one time and I just told another mate the answers. She was first on the line & Reading festival tickets duly bagged.
16 April 2012
warden hodges
Parkgate Pony Sanctuary? Like it NB57.
Might even catch a bit of cricket at Neston too…and a quality ice-cream!
16 April 2012
Duchess of Westminster
Ferrets Books Jewellery Aloe Vera
Tombola Raffle Coconut Shy and much more.
Must try their barbecue ice cream.
19 April 2012
John Burscough
And that was only in 2009; probably much much more this year.
19 April 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
Most impressed with the cover of the new Saint Etienne album, which is a street map comprised entirely of song titles or album titles (Desolation Row, Devil Gate Drive, Telegraph Road etc). Sitting among the landmarks is one Cammell Laird Social Club.
20 April 2012
John Burscough
Probably too late to ask them to fit in Voyage To The Bottom Of The Rd.
21 April 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Here’s a mention of the obvious in the fabulous Got, Not Got book in an article about “Animals on the Pitch”.
Source: Got, Not Got: The A-Z of Lost Football Culture, Treasures and Pleasures
25 April 2012
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Got, Not Got; a book which caused a certain amount of friction in the Quack Nostrums household over the Christmas and New Year period. My regular nighttime squeals of ‘I used to have one of them!’, ‘I’d forgotten about those!’ and ‘If I’d have been able to afford that, I certainly wouldn’t have stuck it there!’, where not particularly appreciated by a distinctly disinterested Vendoress, grappling with her recently received Kindle. It never really occurred to me that she wouldn’t want reminding about the virtues of the Peter Barnes Football Trainer. (which is essentially a plastic football attached to a piece of string which you clip onto the waistband of your shorts. Great for developing your close ball control.)
As well as the above mentioned Biccie reference you might also enjoy this fine use of your hard-earned if you harbour fond memories of;
The tin foil club badges given away by Esso in 1971
The Football League Review
Smokey Bacon flavoured Football Crazy savory snacks
A&BC Chewing Gum football cards
Casdon Soccer (as played by Bobby Charlton’s comb over)
Garden Goal! (£5.55 each)
Sky Blue’s Girl of the Match
Footballer’s heads on Jam Jar lids
Football League ladders (in every newspaper early September)
The Observer’s Book of Football
Third world football stamps
and much, much more.
25 April 2012
warden hodges
GOT!….for Xmas.
Excellent book.
26 April 2012
Third Rate Les
GOT! too. Thanks for the recommendation.
Although in the “Animals On The Pitch” section, it was Burnley who were mainly up for relegation instead of Lincoln in 1987, not Torquay. I remember that crystal clear as although a Rovers fan and hence delighted at the prospect, I also had a mate who was playing for Burnley reserves that season. We went out the following night (mainly to Yates’ Wine Lodge in Blackburn) and got the drunkest I’ve ever been on beer and “looney juice” (white wine with cider).
30 April 2012
Third Rate Les
(although that’s mentioned on page 30, I’m glad to see – I suppose what he meant was that Lincoln were playing Torquay, although he gives the impression it was a straight fight between the two)
Burnley nearly went out of the Football League in 1987, you know. Just to re-iterate.
30 April 2012
Third Rate Les
Also, Peel Park was Accrington Stanley’s ground, not Bradford Park Avenue, for heaven’s sake (see section on Charlton).
Sorry, will stop now.
30 April 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
Even then Lincoln weren’t actually playing Torquay – Torquay were playing Crewe while Lincoln lost at Swansea. My recollection at the time was that Lincoln had appeared out of nowhere to clinch the drop, as in the media it was all about Burnley on the day.
1 May 2012
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
For a halfwit you have a bloody good recollection of events which happened a quarter of a century ago!
1 May 2012
John Burscough
The Imps are now back in the Conference, having once again snatched relegation in the last game of the 2010-11 season. No canine involvement this time as far as I know.
1 May 2012
Charles Exford
@Vendor. I’m surprised that anyone who was alive for that momentous weekend, the first ever automatic relegation from Division Four, doesn’t remember it as if it was yesterday.
I’m even more surprised that nobody, on this site of all sites, has remembered (or mentioned anyway) the fourth team involved in that doom-laden struggle against potential oblivion, a certain Tranmere Rovers FC.
When the weekend started, I think Burnley were bottom on 46, Torquay and Tranmere had 47 and Lincoln 48. All three teams below Lincoln, a club which as Spencer says had been considered quite safe till about a week or so earlier, contrived to win their matches and Lincoln snapped through the fateful trapdoor.
Perhaps the reason why Tranmere’s involvement in this Doomsday scenario has not been often remembered when the dog-on-the-pitch-at-Plainmoor story is recounted is that they played, and won, on the Friday night, and the gates were high, three or four times what they had averaged that season. I remember the nail-biting National Express journey up from London like it was yesterday. It really felt like it could be Tranmere’s last ever match at any sort of level – we didn’t know then that teams could come back from such oblivion like everyone from Lincoln to Doncaster and back had done many times since (come on Barrow, Southport, Workington Town, Chester, Halifax et al, you can do it too).
I remember when I arrived at Prenton, the match programme (pictured in the clip below) had sold out, but I still have souvenirs I bought that night. It felt like there simply might not be a Tranmere the next day.
The 25th anniversary will be next Tuesday. Didn’t expect to find footage, but here it is – was so glad to see this clip for the first time since then, and I can see where we were standing in the Cowsheds, right behind Gary Williams’ christ-like act of redemption.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKi09U3wU44
PS – “Drop Zone”? “Drop Zone” my arse. A “Drop Zone” is an objective achieved for a parachute drop, i.e. consummation devoutly to be wished, not a feckin’ relegation trapdoor you Sky-brained oaves.
1 May 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
I must confess that I had to look up who Lincoln and Torquay were playing but the rest was from memory. Burnley were particularly at risk as they were hosting an Orient side who were still tilting at a play-off place having been in the bottom four at the turn of the year.
As for Lincoln, they had only just dropped down from the Third Division (an archaic term for that which is now League One – a title which is inappropriate on so many levels. Sky has a lot to answer for; contrary to what they would have us believe, football wasn’t invented in 1992 – that was actually its date of expiry) and their further relegation must have come as much of a surprise to them as anyone.
Maybe they hadn’t read about the rule change (i.e. bottom team goes down automatically, as opposed to the old system where the bottom four got voted back in regardless), but I doubt they’d have sold Gary Strodder to West Ham on the eve of the transfer deadline if they hadn’t thought they were mathematically safe.
2 May 2012
John Burscough
Rick Broadbent (Couch Potato in the Times of London Sport section) reveals today that he’s “loved snooker since Half Man Half Biscuit sang about Len Ganley’s stance”.
5 May 2012
Paddy
Page 41 of yesterday’s the guardian has a letter by Peter Collins which refers to HMHB immortalising Lord Hereford’s Knob. It appears to be in reply to a letter by Hugh Adams published on 2 May. I only know as I fished the paper out of the recycling to read the gig guide. Any one know what Hugh Adams wrote (I have double checked and it’s not Hugh Adam)
6 May 2012
John Burscough
From The Guardian’s Letter Archive, 2 May:
• I find it surprising that Lord Hereford’s Knob, a prominent excrescence in the vertigo-inducing landscape between Capel-y-Ffin and Hay-on-Wye, has not been mentioned by your naughty names correspondents (Letters, 30 April).
Hugh Adams
Bristol
(I’ll spare you the previous correspondence on places with names such as Shitterton and Scratchy Bottom which is, as you can imagine, almost unbearably funny.)
6 May 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
I’m surprised Brown Willy and Sandy Balls haven’t gained greater notoriety.
6 May 2012
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Sandy Balls
Had a caravan there – static – naturally.
6 May 2012
Charles Exford
Talking of letters to the relevant authorities concerning all matters Knob. That HMHB towns thing on Flicka, right? The Trabi is still parked in front of the wrong hill.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/regtubby/4155565860/in/pool-371302@N23
Very embarrassing considering they had the grid ref and all.
7 May 2012
Dave Wiggins
Charles, I was at that Tranmere game, and can never hear ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now’ without recalling the moment that time stood still when Exeter’s Martin Ling (I think) hit the bar. Never known a more tense match, nor as many Everton and Liverpool scarves on view at Prenton Park. Pre kick off, the tannoy announced that Rovers will ‘still be in existence next season’, irrespective of the outcome of the seminal fixture. I don’t think that many in the capacity crowd were reassured.
9 May 2012
warden hodges
The legendary Chris’ Cammy’ Camden in the bath after the game, not a pleasant sight!
10 May 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Legendary Biscuitista David “Bumble” Lloyd has a Daily Mail column to fill, and what better to bamboozle the readers with than an HMHB reference?
(Don’t worry, that’s just a screenshot, I’m not suggesting anyone visits the Daily Mail website)
28 May 2012
gordo
I was a Teenage Armchair Honved Fan gets a mention on this Hungarian website. I’ve got a friend from Wallasey who’s fluent in Hungarian, I’ll see if I get him to translate it.
Ed’s note: Google Translate (always good for a grin) translates it as:
“Look around the other way! The British Half Man Half Biscuit members who are poor, mighty Tranmere Rovers fans, heartfelt songs were written about that Christmas is a Dukla Prague away shirt is requested , but also that as a teenager what armchair fans were – and now be proud! – The soldiers.”
29 May 2012
That Swan
Q magazine reviews new Saint Etienne album thus: “Pop connoisseurs continue to irk the purists…’
2 June 2012
gordo
my friend came through with the translation:
“Members of Britain’s HMHB, who were poor and huge Tranmere fans, sung from from the heart that they wanted a Dukla Prague away kit, but also about how as teenagers they were armchair fans – and of this we (as Hungarians) can be proud – of Honved.”
Having been resident in Budapest for over 15 years working as a journalist and writer, I suspect my friend might have had an influence on this since as long as he’s been there, he’s banged on about Birkenhead’s finest to bemused Hungarians whenever he’s had a few drinks inside him, Well that and the dirty hungarian phrasebook sketch from Monty Python
7 June 2012
Dave Wiggins
Disproportionately excited by Bear Grills helping Jake Gyllenhaal get across an Arctic ravine by use of a ‘Tyrolean’. Tenuous, but that increases it’s purity. They are now having a ‘knockabout’ in an improvised snow shelter. Good telly.
13 June 2012
Dave Wiggins
Grylls. Oops. Don’t write in.
13 June 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
Not even about the rogue apostrophe in ‘its’?
14 June 2012
Dave Wiggins
Damn this auto-spellcheck, Spencer!
14 June 2012
Paul F
Another Mayo “Achtung Bono” reference last night, this time using their regular guest chef’s comment about oven gloves to justify mentioning JDOG.
15 June 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
This has just turned up on another channel, couldn’t find anywhere more appropriate to post it.
JOHN PEEL’S RECORD COLLECTION: H IS FOR HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT
H is for Half Man Half Biscuit. Sheila introduces Nigel Blackwell from the band and Geoff Davies from Probe Records who explain the unique band that is HMHB.
19 June 2012
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
And a rather overdue shout to this month’s reference in Word, where a picture caption begins Husker-Du-Du-Du. Doesn’t happen so often these days since Andrew Harrison went to edit Q.
20 June 2012
Gregg Z
My apologies if this has already been pointed out, but there’s a mini-documentary here. A bit ragged, but worth a look. Thanks to whomever is responsible.
24 June 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Hadn’t seen that – what’s the story behind it?
24 June 2012
Charles Exford
Thanks for that Gregg – bit of overlap with the John Peel’s Record Collection film made me wonder if they were related in some way. But I notice that one of the names in the credits has posted on here before – Leigh Bushell You could drop him & e-mail maybe Chris, and ask him what he knows I suppose?
24 June 2012
John Burscough
It’s credited to Gareth Davies – probably the one from Rhyl who used to work for the BBC/ITV and now runs a freelance media company based in Chorlton, Manchester (isn’t the Internet wonderful?) He’s also a member of the Facebook HMHB Society, so I’ve sent him a message asking for some info on the film.
24 June 2012
MIKE IN COV
On 29 June, Radcliffe & Maconie on 6Music suggested that the fatcat scandal-beset CEO of Barclays Bank should “Sign on you crazy diamond”. It took a listener (not me I’m afraid) to point out the origin of the phrase – to those two, of all people!
1 July 2012
MIKE IN COV
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/rebel-rebel-sneaks-49-bowie-songs-into-tv-show/story-e6frfn09-1226407195852
Probably not the earliest or best citation, but the first one I found. I got 28/49 without external prompting. Damn, who are these people geekier than me?
Perhaps he could be persuaded … cajoled … blackmailed … into …
2 July 2012
MIKE IN COV
Radcliffe & Maconie missed another sitter today. They were riffing on minor cleaning-material related accidents. Someone came up with a story about immersing his Subbuteo players in white spirit to remove the paint, wherupon they overnight swole up and disintegrated. (And that, kiddies, is why the instruction leaflet you threw away would have told you to test a small unimportant area first. This guy was 41.) They couldn’t see why anyone would want to repaint Subbuteo players. Well I thought the answer was obvious, but they didn’t even acknowledge my reproving email.
I’m beginning to worry about those two.
3 July 2012
MIKE IN COV
Céad míle fáilte.
5 July 2012
MIKE IN COV
Perhaps an unconscious reference to Doreen, Lancashire Telegraph 23/01/10, end 2nd para.
22 July 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Don’t know if anyone has posted this before.
(Yep, sure did, that’s my YouTube Channel, that is – Ed)
30 July 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Stuart Maconie mentioned Ken Barlow today, and later read out a message referring him to The Lark Descending – well done that listener!
30 July 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
The Guardian really ought to know better.
5 August 2012
John Burscough
Re posts 359, 362. Had a reply from Gareth Davies: “Um, yes… It was a 5 minute piece I made last year. I’m in the process of editing a longer film which incorporates footage of the band playing Marc Riley’s 6 Music session in 2010. It’s a bit of a labour of love though and I’m not sure what will become of it when it’s finished!”
So that’s all good.
8 August 2012
Dan
Just found myself upon this site by accident and thought I’d chuck one into the ring. Back when Eamonn Holmes was stinking up the Saturday morning slot on Radio 5, he interviewed Tony Gubba.
In the course of the interview, he played a certain song, which he introduced thus: “And here’s the song ‘Half Man half Biscuit, by The Gubba Lookalikes”. The utter prat.
9 August 2012
Richard
Simon Mayo’s request show this evening (Friday 17th August) approx 1820, had a caller from Chatteris, and Simon recounted the first verse of this excellent song and praised how good it was, listen again, it’s well worth it!
17 August 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
iPlayer @1:23. Just goes to show. Hope he’s got over any lingering disappointment from the result of the Lux Familiar Cup Final 2011.
17 August 2012
Charles Exford
Not the first time he’s recited those lyrics on his programmes either, according to previous mentions on here (I’m not sure he’s ever felt the need to say it was better than any of their other songs, though**).
Not being a radio two listener myself yet, I wonder if he asks the obvious questions when he gets callers from Totnes, Uffington, Capel Curig, Wantage etc.?
(** I hasten to add that my by now habitual chants of “One Country Practice! There’s only one Country Practice!” at the end of Chatteris’ live outings are intended as a jibe not at a fine song but once again at the whole wretched idea of a cup in which such a song could knock out the other immense songs that it did)
18 August 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
@Charles, I’m slightly disturbed by your “yet”.
18 August 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
This seems as good a place as any to post this extract from an email from BP. It’s genuine.
“Yes, according to the files, Nigel Blackwell provided the voiceover for a total of five BP adverts in 2001. These were all BP Retail adverts for BP Connect – the convenience stores attached to our service stations. As I currently understand it, there was one TV ad ‘BP Drive Thru & News’ and four radio ads ‘Bread’, ‘Butchers’, ‘Coffee’ and ‘Restaurant’.
“We haven’t got any copies of these adverts to hand – I’ve asked our ad folk to have a look in their archives. It looks unlikely that we could post the TV ad to YouTube because of copyright payments etc, but I’ll see what more info they can unearth.If I get any more info I’ll try to get it to you, but I hope this goes some way to stand up what appears to have been a bit of an unconfirmed myth.”
Nice of them to have taken the trouble. I might pop in to my local BP station tonight. Their Scotch eggs are excellent.
29 August 2012
John Burscough
This fits, more or less, with an interview NB57 gave the Echo ten years ago, as recorded in the News Archive section of Gez’s site (July – December 2002):
“The bloke who asked me has now moved on so that’s it now. I did four. I probably would have done them for nothing. I’ve got no qualms about doing them again for somebody else – anybody else! – for any amount of money. The best time was when the TV advert came on as I was sat watching a Test match on Channel 4.”
I wonder if these were the same 2001 BP Connect radio ads which featured Paul Darrow (Avon off Blake’s 7) as a bemused vicar.
29 August 2012
Gordo
Rod Hull Is Alive, Why? quoted in the Shropshire Star in an article about The Wrekin.
3 September 2012
Alien
Unexpected airing of Tending the Wrong Grave on Jo Whiley’s Radio 2 show tonight, the choice of studio guest Ross Noble.
“Possibly the greatest band on the planet”, Mr Noble advises listeners to buy the entire HMHB back catalogue.
“That was good”, Ms Whiley commented, unconvincingly…
4 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
iPlayer @36:30. Ross Noble swimming strongly, Jo Whiley completely out of her depth.
5 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Stuart Maconie treated Mark Radcliffe to an extended existentialist examination of Motorcycle Emptiness on 6Music this afternoon (iPlayer @8:30). At the end Mark remarked that he thought that Kenwood Chefette Food Mixer Emptiness was a HMHB track. I wonder when they first got into the Manics?
Later in the programme, one of them asked guest Adam Bainbridge whether he’d ever been a skinny indie kid.
5 September 2012
vendor of quack nostrums
Nice to hear Ross Noble – one of the most original and indeed, funny comedians of recent times – bigging up the boys (catch him in session, catch him on tour – he’s brilliant live). The thing is that Nigel is every bit as funny and original but has chosen the less frequented route. It does irk me on occasions when his genius is not recognised. Fact is that Jo Wiley obviously had no idea what the song was about. Goodyear airship time.
5 September 2012
Chris The Siteowner
I’m informed by the excellent writer @juderogers that HMHB tune(s) feature in the new indie documentary Last Shop Standing, which looks worth watching. Jude says that the band gave their music to the film for free.
6 September 2012
Martin A
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/tennis/19539257
Andy Murray acknowledging a top, top, player.
10 September 2012
Michael
This just can’t be right. but if you go to this website http://comparemyradio.com/ and search for half man half biscuit apparently David Wainwright’s feet was played on the radio station ‘fun kids’ in the last month…
11 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Comparemyradio.com obviously wasn’t listening to Gid Coe yesterday, because he played a version of Dukla Prague Away Kit.
11 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Fine work by Peter Gandy in a letter to The Guardian.
24 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Shaun Keaveny mentioned Fred Titmus on 6Music this morning, and sounded sad that he couldn’t play it.
27 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
On RadMac today, Stuart remarked “Clearly, Throbbing Gristle Twitter Feud is a Half Man Half Biscuit song waiting to be recorded, isn’t it? If Nigel’s listening, I would get on with that”.
28 September 2012
Mr. Spokesman (I know what you think)
If he’d been on the programme at the time NB57 would almost certainly have responded that he didn’t really know what Twitter was. (This was genuinely true at the time of that JDOG trending on Twitterface 6Music campaign thingy, but two and a half years on he probably does have a vague idea).
28 September 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Today, it was Mark on RadMac: “Leftover Sri Lankan Banquet? That’s a Half Man Half Biscuit song if I ever heard one, isn’t it?”
They had just finished nattering about a law against extravagant trousers in Singapore, which might have misguided the idea into his mind. (Yes, I too regret they never recorded a Peel session.)
1 October 2012
Dave F.
I’m finding it increasingly irritating that RadMac repeatedly mention HMHB, but fail to actually play anything by them. If I remember correctly the previous two times were suggested by guests/listeners. I feel an email onslaught approaching.
2 October 2012
Cathy Staniforth
Yesterday’s Metro carried a comment “Coffee bars, idiots and pigeons: there are far too many in this town”, attributed to Gomez404 of Birmingham.
Anyone claiming this one?
2 October 2012
vendor of quack nostrums
No but Gomez404 should be bloody ashamed of hisself. Soddin’ word thief. I’m gonna inform the ombudsman me.
2 October 2012
Cathy Staniforth
I guess he’ll do what he can…
4 October 2012
Gordo
Does anybody speak Slovenian?
Ed’s Note: Clearly Google translate doesn’t, as it comes up with:
“Enthusiastic responses to the Welsh concert performance at this year’s Festival in Sibenik Terraneo that, if commitment and persuasiveness neignorantske criticism put alongside appearances Swans and Blues Explosion , reinforcing the belief that the internal trimmed band and its expansion from the trio a quartet led by poetic firmer detaljneje and sophisticated music. After Falcovi predfazi with drummer Jack Egglestonom in noiserockovski group Mclusky ten years ago and the first version, Future Of The Left, which round off the album Curses (2007) and Travels with Myself and Another (2009) and playing with bassist Kelsonom Mathiasom, last year’s EP Polymers Are Forever announced a creative upgrade. Bas Julie Ruzicka , who Hresc like a cross David Sims of Jesus Lizard and Rob Wright of NoMeansNo, and effective integration of second guitarist Jimmy Watkins gave fresh wind variability musical language that gold continues tradition of constructive noise rock. His traps and leaping zaobhaja group of colorful, unpredictable derivatives. Balzamira extremity of imaginative synthetic sounds zaskominajo Mon elektropankerjih Brainiac and astro-new wave Devo. Polyphonic singing draws from the tradition of British folk music. Catchy punk ode to even Bad Religion would not be ashamed, paraphrasing Half Man Half Biscuit and turns into an homage to the British occupation. Manipulation of the sound effects, minimalism, repiticija and all other accessories only lubricated nabritost entire panel.”
5 October 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
@Dave F, good luck with your email campaign against RadMac. I’ve been pestering them regularly to no effect. In contrast, Messrs Lamacq, Riley and Coe play HMHB of their own accord, including session versions, and I’ve had a couple of shout-outs after complimenting them on their good taste.
Nothing wrong with Google Translate I think, it’s just being innovative. “Noiserockovski group” could soon be a commonplace English expression.
5 October 2012
Exxo
Ooh ooh a Šibenik festival review. I would not be qualified to interpret it myself, but I noticed that it appeared to be about Cardiff combo Future of the Left…a little bell rang in the scullery of my mind and I scuttled off and found this:
http://futureoftheleftv2now.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/based-on-novel-of-same-name.html
Yes! that’s an actual defensive response on an actual internet blog to – ooh ooh – a bad review ! Penned by the frontman of Future of the Left, in which he says one of his own songs,” ‘Sorry dad, I was late for the riots’ is a song about trustafarian rioters, those fucking rotters, and is a pretty bloody funny Half Man Half Biscuit tribute at that, replete with lyrics that apparently haven’t so much gone over your head as clean through it.”
The song in question is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8F0bzqI8BQ
So the Slovenian reviewer of yer Croatian coastal festival _may_ be referring to that song – probably to one or more songs by that band anyway.
6 October 2012
SIMON P
I have to admit to being a huge Future of the Left devotee, possibly due to their lyrics being often searingly funny. Unfortunately they often go unnoticed under the crashing instrumentation and Falco’s quirky delivery.
Robocop 4 – Fuck Off Robocop
http://www.songlyrics.com/future-of-the-left/robocop-4-fuck-off-robocop-lyrics/
11 October 2012
Daryl
Always thought that FOTL, as well as their forerunners Mclusky, have had a bit of Half Man Half Biscuit about them. Lyrically, anyway. And song titles wise. ‘Dave, Stop Killing Prostitutes’ being a personal fave from Mclusky. A truly great and underrated band.
11 October 2012
Alan
Never really got into FOTL but I do like a bit of Mclusky, even if their songs didn’t always live up to the great titles. Saying that “KKKitchens, what were you thinking?” is as good a song as you would hope it to be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoD_1I6S_A
11 October 2012
John Anderson
I have unashamedly appropriated the Commodores line from The Refree’s Alphabet for a chapter I have written for this book:
http://www.lionelbirnie.com/tales-from-the-vicarage/
It also contains the phrase “lit up my childhood”.
13 October 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
Thanks for abridging your classic there for us John ;-)
If I had any Watford fans in the family I’d get them a copy for Xmas from out of me Glorious People’s Team of the Republic who claim to be under-17 semi-final winnings, but there aren’t many of them round our way so I’m just going to pile it all on them to win the final this av, DNB of course, and I’ll owe you a pint if they win, eh?
13 October 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
It’s OK John I was on draw-no-bet, so I still owe you a pint from the semi-final winnings.
13 October 2012
Richard Abbott
Some lyrics to For What is Chatteris were read out by Ken Bruce on Radio 2 today. The travel report mentioned Chatteris and someone must have been quick off the mark to mail the show or Ken Bruce is a HMHB fan. I didn’t catch where he got the lyric from as I was laughing at Chatteris being in the travel report.
Just thought I’d chime in.
18 October 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Huge respect and some sort of Biscuit award surely in order for Phil Booth of Manchester – RadMac, The Chain #3276, Running Order Squabble Fest. iPlayer @17:06. Generated a flood of approving correspondence, including one mentioning Half Man Half Noodle. Not from me dammit, because I’d somehow picked up a virus yesterday, purporting to be from the police, which had locked up my PC and was demanding money with menaces; so my machine was away being disinfected.
The next link in The Chain was to Björk – Crystalline, which for me rather took the edge off a joyous experience.
19 October 2012
Dave F.
Good to hear them on the show & big-up to Phil for suggesting it. However it reinforces my argument that R&M don’t actually play any HMHB of their own accord.
20 October 2012
Ian Press
JDOG got a play on the Steve Lamacq show this evening
23 October 2012
Paul F
FT reference today! Chris Nuttall describes the multifunctional nature of Windows 8 as Half Man Half Biscuit.
26 October 2012
Paul F
“With its dual-interface, dual-purpose, dual-processor, mixed-up thinking, Windows 8 is a pushmi-pullyu, half-man, half-biscuit, weird and occasionally wonderful creation that is guaranteed to bewilder – at least initially. “
26 October 2012
Charles Exford
Drat and double drat – from your first post I was guessing he’d finished his piece with “feel free to install it”.
26 October 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
@Ian Press – at the request of a 24-year-old listener who was up for profiling by Robin Ince. I emailed SL the info on how to find this site and pleaded with him to pass it on.
26 October 2012
Gordo
Apparently Ade Edmonson lists HMHB as one of his influences…
30 October 2012
Mark L
Don’t know if they have any merchandise regarding a dotcom sitcom or not.
http://thehiphopchipshop.com/
30 October 2012
Michael
Very last words of this article on Football365 about referees…
1 November 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
It’s been a good week.
Jarvis Cocker is working his way through the Peel A-Z, and last Sunday reached H. After the audio from thespace.org, he played The Referee’s Alphabet.
On Wednesday, Gideon Coe played 1985 session versions of D’Ye Ken Ted Moult? and The Trumpton Riots.
And I’ve just discovered that robots with American accents have recorded the Wikipedia article on Birkenhead. A thoroughly informative and entertaining listen. Notable features include
– @12:39 A boat replacement service
– @21:01 Tranmere Rovers
– @25:21 HMHB
I was the first to thumb-up this video. I hope I won’t be the last. (@Exxo, your opinion on my hyphen?)
Chris Packham is channelling the names of Oscar-winning films this Autumnwatch. More pressure on him needed I think.
@Michael, fell off chair on reading the end of your link.
3 November 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Louder Than War picks up on the “dark stuff” in “Papworth General“…
Mid 80′s Half Man Half Biscuit song told the truth about Jimmy Savile
6 November 2012
Charles Exford
Further to Gez mentioning on his site that ‘The Trumpton Riots’ features on the soundtrack to a major motion picture release, I notice that The Lads’ tune appears alongside, amongst others, Carl Orff, Hector Berlioz and the great Hank Williams.
Impecunious Probe completists amongst you will be relieved to hear that unlike those aforementioned artistes, the HMHB track is in the movie but not on the soundtrack album itself.
12 November 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
@Charles, where on Gez’s site? I can’t find it.
Pedantically, which Hank Williams? I assume Senior, but there are three of them.
13 November 2012
Ex Charlesford
Hi Mike,
It’s on the front page just below the upcoming gigs (I was complacently relying on Chris to provide a magic link as he generally does when he’s checked these things out himself).
http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/
And errm, good question. I just assumed it’s the original ‘Angel of Death’ sung by the great Hank Williams Senior. A deserved honour I thought for our country-lovin’ foursome (fivesome actually – Ed) to feature on a soundtrack alongside such a classic.
13 November 2012
Paddy
Wow have you seen the Racing Post today page 111? Brought a tear of joy to my eye. A great write up.
16 November 2012
Charles Exford
Thanks for the heads-up there Paddy. I stopped at the newsagent’s just now and had a quick look through it hoping for something of note, but though I didn’t have me specs on I could pretty much guess the content anyway.
So to sum up for the other Biscuitistas. Under the heading “Sport on TV tonight”, it said – “Ooh look it’s Tranmere v. Milton Keynes Franchise Whores on Sly tonight. Rovers haven’t had a Friday night live match for a while, which reminds me of a story from the1985-86 season involving some famous fans of theirs who rejected a helicopter from a TV studio in Newcastle to the Friday night match, ooh look by coincidence they had a gig in Newcastle last night, allowing plenty of time to get back for tonight’s big game.”
They must despair.
16 November 2012
EMERGING FROM GORSE
A little harsh there methinks, Charles – they were, after all, referred to in the article as “sensational” and “groundbreakers”.
It’s not the first time the lads have been mentioned in the Racing Post either (see comment 216 above, which features a reference to ‘Even Men With Steel Hearts’, from possibly the least commented upon HMHB album in the media, or anywhere else for that matter).
You’ll struggle to find a better daily than the Racing Post, I can assure you!
16 November 2012
Charles Exford
My whole interweb construct is harsh by definition, EFG. I do like the Racing Post, and investing in it more regularly would almost certainly repay.
It seems to me the lyrics we love are at war more than anything with the easy cliché, but that if you give almost any journalist the chance they will just repeat the same tired old story from the far-off debut season that NB57 is thoroughly sick of hearing however many times they say he’s vital, and they will rarely mention any of the more contemporary material.
Personally I never feel it’s enough for such journalists to claim to love the band. There’s tossers out there working for the likes of Murdoch that bloody love the band, there’s probably MK Dons fans looking for cool points who claim to love the band.
I’d have let him off if he’d plugged next gig / recent material though.
16 November 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Yep, Half Man Half Biscuit are now a Mastermind answer. Worth watching just to hear John Humphrys say the words.
16 November 2012
BrumBiscuit
You’d have thought he could’ve quoted some of the VB lyrics. Chapeau to the woman for getting it right!
17 November 2012
13ACROSS
People keep asking questions about SlipKnot in Yahoo! Answers. I really must assign the YouTube link to a hotkey.
17 November 2012
gordo
here’s an article about the unsurprising decison to to play a village hall rather than your typical music venue http://www.thestar.co.uk/community/the-diary/the-diary-clear-the-art-club-village-hall-to-rock-1-5130060
19 November 2012
Eric Olthwaite
Robin Ince, on the Infinite Monkey Cage on Radio 4 today, took questions from the audience. One was, ‘why is banana skin the easiest thing to write upon?’ His response was, ‘surely it’s the sole of your slipper?’
3 December 2012
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Props to Chris Cole who was on Shaun Keaveny’s BBC 6Music Song Of Praise spot this morning, nominating NB57 and getting some useful airplay for, For What Is Chatteris? SK namechecked Thomas Hardy among others, and remarked that he’d supported the boys once (Pop Kreis? couldn’t quite make the band name out) – props for him also. iPlayer @1:17:50.
5 December 2012
Chris The Siteowner
Liverpool Museums Advent Calendar Day 5
5 December 2012
Jitsu_g
Think I prefer the turgid yellow / mustard abhorrence to this ….
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Ajpest_FC
6 December 2012
John Burscough
Their nickname is Lilák (the Purples) though.
6 December 2012
BrumBiscuit
Cracking ground, as well. I watched the 2003 title decider there along with <2,000 others.
Honved's ground, on the other hand, was a shithole with a pitch that made the Baseball Ground's 1970s turf look like a bowling green.
7 December 2012
Geoff
HMHB quoted in Guardian article (well, the comments bit…), re. the question ‘what is love’!
13 December 2012
Dom
Watched Seven Psychopaths (very good by the way, Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken, there are others) at the cinema last night when all of a sudden the intro of The Trumpton Riots blasts out. Can’t explain the joy that swelled in my heart. Had to credit watch till the end to confirm it wasn’t a hallucination (which wasn’t a chore as I tend to do this anyway).
Is this the first time a HMHB song has been used in a film?
18 December 2012
John Burscough
Two questions on Christmas University Challenge tonight to which the answers were the Uffington White Horse and ‘Wassail’. I thank you.
19 December 2012
Charles Exford
Can’t be a coincidence that. And definitely more impressive than two of the answers in the Xmas pop quiz we were at last night: one was “Nazareth” and another was “So you’re Brad Pitt?” (I’m not proud but I wrote “Elder or Younger?” in brackets after our answer). We got trounced though ‘cos there was a whole round about last year’s Xmas top ten. If only I’d had some red rubber bands to hand.
19 December 2012
MrSpecialPants
That reminds me, a couple of weeks ago on The Chase there was the question ‘What shape are anomites?’ followed to another question to which the answer was Gok Wann.
21 December 2012
mate of the bloke
Lammo’s 6-music show on Friday (21st) started in fine style. From the opening chords it just had to be HMHB. Enjoyed turning up the radio for ‘Left Lyrics In The Practice Room’.
22 December 2012
John Burscough
Passing reference to HMHB in John Robb’s review on his own ‘Louder Than War’ website of a gig I attended in Manc last weekend: Frank Sidebottom’s Fantastic Christmas Fundraiser. Frank fans may be interested to know that the Fund has now raised almost enough money (contributions still being accepted) to pay for a statue of Frank to be erected in Timperley, near the Post Office. Planning permission has been granted, and it’s intended that the unveiling will take place at 11.37 on Frank’s birthday, 1st April (Easter Monday) 2013.
22 December 2012
Chris The Siteowner
In this case, HMHB lyrics NOT in the media. The utter, utter bastards. After all the song (Joy Division Oven Gloves) represented for them.
10 January 2013
Charles Exford
I wondered if they had to have been released as a “single” or something, but I feel cheated after clicking on the link that says “read more about the selection process” (much, much more?” I wondered to myself)…
…only to find some divvy telling me that “we didn’t have any particular criteria when short-listing, aside from gut feeling and the comfortable knowledge that the list would never truly be finished.”
But whatever you do, please, nobody start a f*cking facebook campaign.
10 January 2013
vendor of quack nostrums
I see that The Libertines appear on the list, so that’s kind of like having Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo represented.
VOQN – Putting a positive spin on all things Biscuity since 1985.
10 January 2013
John Burscough
And the Love from Bon Iver – 4 indie kids – is (was?) Skinny.
11 January 2013
Gordo
that HMHB’s omission has irked the purists so much on here shouldn’t it be on the PBR thread?
11 January 2013
13ACROSS
I disagree entirely with 6Music’s choice, an absolute disgrace. Dear RadMac, it pains me to say the blame lies with you.
11 January 2013
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Steve Lamacq did the decent thing immediately after the conclusion of the 6Music Top 100, by playing what he described as the Honorary No 101.
I danced, danced, danced, danced, of course.
See below – Ed
1 February 2013
Jeff Dreadnought
Love the way Steve Lamacq brought on Joy Division Oven Gloves deep in injury time to score the winner, just when Coldplay thought they had it in the bag (to take an analogy slightly too far).
See below – Ed
1 February 2013
Alien
There was a feature last night on 6Music, about quarter to midnight, where the editor of Q magazine (Andrew Harrison) talked about his musical passion. Surprisingly this turned out to be HMHB and he spent several minutes waxing lyrical about them, followed by an airing of Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes. Well worth a listen.
See below – Ed
1 February 2013
Charles Exford
Ha, cheers for the heads-ups chaps, I’ll have a listen back to both of them bits now. I thought Lamacq would probably do that, but forgot to turn back on after switching off in disgust for f*cking Coldplay. Was very satisfying that a whole household, including the parents-in-law, shouted out in unison to get that muck turned off.
2 February 2013
Chris The Siteowner
You can hear Lamacq’s injury-time winner here, and if you’re reading this, Mr L., chapeau. Appropriate that the only 6Music presenter to get a namecheck in an HMHB song should pop up with the goods. And in a way, you can’t help but feel the unofficial no.101 is what the band would have wanted.
4 February 2013
Simon
The Andrew Harrison bit was actually on Radio 2 (not 6Music).
Ed’s note: Aha! Thanks. I’ve uploaded it here.
4 February 2013
Charles Exford
Thanks for the Andrew Harrison link Chris. There’s a strange bit in the clip at about 3:05 which, I imagine, might prompt some of my fellow Projectistas to scurry off to investigate unnecessary tangents, if I didn’t try to clarify. What I assume to be an edit by a BBC2 producer who doesn’t know the tunes in question makes it sound as if Mr. Harrison is suggesting that the song makes some sort of musical reference to the Liverpool FC crowd anthem ‘Poor Scouser Tommy’. I’m guessing Mr. Harrison originally said – or meant to say – something like ‘and by the way, it also uses a bit of the same tune as the great Liverpool song…’. If he did say it as broadcast, then his suggestion of a borrowing or reference is wishful thinking on his part.
The guitar break in ‘Lock Up’ does use ‘Red River Valley’, the same tune that the first half of the LFC song also borrows, but it’s such a hugely well known staple American folk tune from the same tradition as the rest of the tune (i.e. ‘She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain’) that there’s no reason for it to be a reference to or a borrowing of the football version. Some of the words of ‘Poor Scouser Tommy’ would have to be quoted or parodied for it to be any sort of reference – and as this is just a guitar break, they aren’t. Most football chants are naturally based on tunes that are already very commonplace and ‘Red River Valley’ was a staple singalong folk tune on this side of the Atlantic too, with many, many recorded and broadcast versions over various decades, long before it became the tune of a football anthem.
As you were.
4 February 2013
John Burscough
Actually, @CtSO (adopts pedantic “I think you’ll find” tone), since last month Radio 6 Music’s Weekend Breakfast show has been presented by Mary Anne Hobbs.
5 February 2013
Peter Gandy
People who Nemone at the council about the streets being full of litter…
I’ll get my coat.
5 February 2013
John Burscough
OK (sigh): Letts not.
(And, of course, Dylan, whose ‘Theme Time Radio Hour’ was on R6M until 2009.)
5 February 2013
Alan
Not long now till the Archbishop of Canterbury’s named Justin.
6 February 2013
Gordo
Bob Wilson Anchorman quoted in piece about Mark Bright’s punditry…
13 February 2013
Gordo
More overseas mentions of HMHB – this one on the Sydney Morning Herald’s live sportsblog
…and this one in Portugal where the referee’s alphabet gets a mention: “Dear referees, now I think of you and I dedicate this song to you. It’s for you. Listen to the lyrics carefully and smile. Not all spend their days cursing you”
13 February 2013
Paul F
What a lovely sentiment that second one is.
14 February 2013
John Burscough
Transcribed from a HMHB “social net-work” (as I believe they’re known):
http://www.itsliverpool.com/passions/half-bed-half-biscuit/
23 February 2013
Bob
(First line…)
6 March 2013
Tony F
Private Eye No.1334 Dated 22.2.13, page 6;
‘These are now known at the Mail as “drive-by shoutings”.’.
(I can’t believe I’m the only one who has spotted this one)
25 March 2013
Gordo
Even Men With Steel Hearts gets a mention in this piece on an ESPN-run US website.
27 March 2013
Mick
Never knew about the BP adverts. Just read that comment of Nigel’s: “I’ve got no qualms about doing them again for somebody else – anybody else! – for any amount of money.” Well, I never. Reminds me of that line from Four Skinny Indie Kids “We’re forever slagging off the majors, till they dangle us their wages.”
30 March 2013
vendor of quack nostrums
Alternatively…..
If God had meant for us to work,
Then I’m sure he would have given us jobs.
Failing that, I’ve absolutely no qualms,
About taking money off of corporate knobs.
30 March 2013
aiwacat
The ‘Last Night A Record Changed My Life’ bit in the June MOJO is a piece by Eddie Argos of Art Brut, on ‘This Leaden Pall’. Maybe runs to a third of a page, so it’s an easy read whilst browsing in Smiths (other high street newsagents are available).
Page 25, should you care.
1 May 2013
Dr Desperate
Can’t say I’ve ever heard of Eddie Argos – a cut-price Nicky Tesco, possibly. Art Brut’s stuff sounds pretty good though.
2 May 2013
Third RAte Les
Never heard of Eddie Argos – that’s a shame. “I fought the floor and the floor won”… They’re on at the Scala end of this month
3 May 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Earlier mentions of Eddie Argos here on this site included a link to this interview with him.
7 May 2013
Paul F
Obligatory Fred Titmus quote in this morning’s Over-by-Over in the Guardian.
17 May 2013
Dr Desperate
Mary Anne Hobbs,obviously unfazed by the nightly robbing of her massive mobs, just namechecked ‘Irk The Purists’ (in its manifesto capacity) on her R6M breakfast show.
19 May 2013
Nove On The SLy
The last song on Richard Allinson’s show on Radio 2 yesterday was Stay With Me Till Dawn…
…then it was time for the news…
22 May 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Another quote, but a more unusual one, in yesterday’s Over-by-Over in the Guardian.
13 June 2013
ron yeomans
Second comment down.
14 June 2013
Gordo
So what happened to the C86 generation?
26 June 2013
Chris The Siteowner
This is a rather good thread on The Afterword.
28 June 2013
Dr Desperate
Elvis Has Left The Building Society is particularly fine.
28 June 2013
Warden Hodges
The scouse fans will certainly be putting the mileage in. Bham certainly looks a good’un.
Still dreaming of a Chester/ North Wales gig and dare I say it (OK then!)….Liverpool!.
29 June 2013
Bobby SVARC
I wish they’d come to Codder
30 June 2013
TWP
In at number eleven.
12 July 2013
Exxo
I think you can tell from my comment which of his three errors in that one paragraph irked me the most.
12 July 2013
Chris The Siteowner
We probably need a better page for stuff like this, but hey-ho, this’ll do. Good discussion on the Facebook Half Man Half Biscuit Society page. Neil Watson says: “Whilst at the Stowmarket gig last week I asked at the merchandise stand for a copy of “Saucy Haulage Ballads”. None other than Geoff from Probe himself explained it was no longer available and that he had been trying to get ‘Nige’ to release a compilation of this and other EP’s/B-sides. However, Nigel thought it was too commercial! He asked if I would email him my request. Before doing so I was interested to see if the majority shared my view that such a release would be welcome and in no way viewed as commercial. We are talking about possibly the least commercial band in the world ever here… Thoughts?”
There are over 50 comments, latest snapshot here for those who aren’t Facebook members.
13 July 2013
Buzz Killington
An official release of sessions/rarities would maybe put a stop to this sort of thing.
15 July 2013
Bobby SVARC
Doubt it, Where there’s an Ebay there’s a way.
15 July 2013
Paul F
If Nigel is concerned about it being “too commercial” wouldn’t a lot of people emailing in to ask for it kind of prove his point?
16 July 2013
BrumBiscuit
Maybe it harks back to the first couple of albums when there were overlapping tracks and possibly accusations of cashing in?
16 July 2013
Charles Exford
Monday being a rest day on Le Tour, I was able to catch up with the leading man and ask him awkward questions on the controversial scout-hut debates du jour, such as this one.
It seems to be another case of stop, wait a minute Mr. Spokesman, or at least of Cadbury’s Wispas anyway, because Nigel says that no conversation with Geoff about a compilation has taken place and the alleged “too commercial” thing does not reflect his view.
17 July 2013
Bobby SVARC
Hey Charles, next time you speak to said man, can you pass on this message please: the new “Got, Not Got” footy book is near completion. I’m in it so it promises to sell out early, I’ll send him a copy via GD. Ta
17 July 2013
Jason Whalley
I was at a funeral I in Blackburn 18 months ago where Bobby Svarc read a tribute to the deceased. My mate went out with his daughter as well. Sorry, can’t help withan obscure HMHB lyric from the media but thought it was worth a mention.
19 July 2013
Bobby SVARC
BS used to play for Leicester, A real true LCFC cult hero, he used to live on the Saffron Lane Estate in Leicester and got the nickname of “Bobby From the Saff” which was painted in foot letters on the back of the Kop, “Svarc refuses Layer Terms” is from his Colchester United days.
19 July 2013
Bobby SVARC
“Svarc Rejects New Layer Terms” Sorry about that, I was betting in play on the Cricket
19 July 2013
Gordo
an inadvertant mention? http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/07/montgomery-biscuits-suspended-steroids/
26 July 2013
Gordo
The sell out show earlier this year gets a mention…
31 July 2013
Gordo
I’m not sure about the “Prompton Riots” though.
9 August 2013
Paddy
Vatican Broadside appears on the Guardian website today – it linked to YouTube. It was fairly random but good to see
15 August 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Via Simon S:
“From the 9th August 1975 copy of SHOOT!: Keegan likes gravel. And shale. When asleep in a lay-by it is easier to hear junkies with baseball bats approaching than it is on Tarmac.”
26 August 2013
Chris The Siteowner
For want of anywhere better to link to it, “Learn to Be Less Sentimental About Paragraphs“ is a decent HMHB article by Rob Maher on his “The Eponymist” blog.
27 August 2013
Vendor Of Quack Nostrums
I’m just going to have to pretend that I know what Eponymist means. Great article though; however it would be nice to read one, one day, that doesn’t mention the helicopter.
BTW once again I’m left feeling like RF Scott. I scrolled down to explain The Lyric Project’s bestest theory on ‘the straightener’ only to find that Exxo had been there minutes before me. I won’t get a gob on though. (Yes, I know I’m mixing me explorers.)
27 August 2013
Stephen Crossman, (the asparagus next left grower)
The Jeremy Whine show was doing a feature about how families might save money, I wonder how many (besides me) rang in to say that I feed my children non organic food and with the money saved take them to the zoo?
The girl who took the call laughed, does that mean I wasn’t the first?
29 August 2013
Radar
There was a mini-retrospective on the Guardian Sports Clip Blog last week.
As well as a spotter’s badge (blue, naturally) for yours truly.
30 August 2013
Bobby SVARC
“What sandwiches you got?……….Chief……Mucker,……Pal,…..Captain”
Taken from today’s racing pages
http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/5166/nwrb.jpg
31 August 2013
amsterdammike
Just listened to Ben Elliot reading from the book Mr Gig in which HMHB are the centre of attention in chapter 9. They are also the centre of his quest for the soul of live music. It’s the gig in Durham which features.
Great band. Brilliant book. Thanks to all concerned. Made my world today a better place.
12 September 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Just bought the paperback on the basis of the above (and the fact it looked interesting!). And indeed, a splendid read it is. There’s an entire chapter about the band, which is rather good. What’s more, in a drop-yer-bacon-sarnie moment, this site even gets a mention. Mr Nige Tassell, I salute you. We are indeed “your kind of people”.
16 September 2013
Mickeymo
The ‘Good Day/Bad Day’ choice (for a good day) on Steve Lamacq’s show on 16 September was ‘Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not’. I know this because, readers, I was that participant.
1 October 2013
cyclops
Don’t know if I was in a parallel universe or whether it may have been that I’d partaken in a few ales (Withnail), and was wondering why the wife was calling me a ponce – charming! – but a certain Dick Fosbury appeared on the TV with a futuristic TV that’s going to change everything apparently, just like he did! I bet old Dick never let Dwight Stones attempt one over his head though do you? Anyone else witness it? Bye
2 October 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Top, top work from Laure James in “The influence of social media on sports reporting” (third paragraph).
3 October 2013
Dave Wiggins
Flicking idly through the ‘Rough Guide to Punk’, in St Helens Library, I was disproportionately excited to find a whole page devoted to HMHB. The tome was released in 2006, and the overview goes only as far as ‘Trouble Over Bridgwater’ (presumably having gone to press before ‘Achtung Bono’). Nevertheless, the band’s history appears to be extremely accurate, with dates and spelling of names all spot-on to me. Bemused that they describe Dickie Davies as a ‘parochial’ reference though. Maybe the (unattributed) writer was more of a Grandstand / Frank Bough man.
5 October 2013
gordo
They talked to David Lloyd a lot about HMHB…
5 October 2013
gordo
You wouldn’t expect a reference in a review of Janelle Monae…
5 October 2013
gordo
In a piece about Art Brut on the German Rolling Stone website:
“Previously Art Brut have played at major festivals, they were in Brazil, Mexico, gave concerts in Moscow and New York. 2005 Oasis took them on tour. Played at the soundcheck in Hamburg Art Brut “Modern Art” and Liam Gallagher said in his usual manner, “Yeah, fuckin”ave it! This one’s me favorite. And Eddie Argos could not believe it and said, “That we open up for you, so as would play Half Man Half Biscuit for U2.”
5 October 2013
gordo
..and finally: “the champion of Took Problem Chimp“
5 October 2013
Chris The Siteowner
“The satirical band Half Man Half Biscuit once had a song for it…” – The Scotsman, 10 October 2013
10 October 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Laure James is on a roll now (see also 509 above). I submit as the latest evidence “Keith Gillespie speaks out about gambling addiction” – paragraph 6. Always better when it’ll go over everyone else’s heads.
18 October 2013
Floreat Ultonia
Re #516, I spotted that in the Newsletter- though trip to BelAir clashed with Brum gig alas.
Roll on Roadmender ;)
19 October 2013
Keef
Apparently in Alex Fergusons forthcoming biography, he talks about some of the top top players he signed for United over the years.
22 October 2013
Keef
My mistake, I was underwhelmed by the thought of the purple nosed, gum chewing, watch pointing biography – he says Steven Gerrard is not a top top player.
22 October 2013
gordo
Gareth from Los Campesinos is a fan.
17 November 2013
Chris The Siteowner
That link above led me to this wonderful new (presumably “collector’s edition”) sleeve for This Leaden Pall.
20 November 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Also, insipired by Gordo’s post above (and a mention by Exxo), I gave Los Campesinos!’ new album a listen, and not only is Gareth from the band an HMHB fan, there’s a lot of stuff there which wouldn’t seem out of place on an HMHB album. In a good way. Check out Glue Me (“we connected like a Yeboah volley”), for example.
21 November 2013
PaT M
A mention for a certain Black Mountain peak on The Chase tonight…
23 November 2013
Frank Hovis
Festive mentions…
10 December 2013
Chris The Siteowner
Hat tip to the subs desk on the Sunday Mail…
16 December 2013
Exxo
I like to think that the ‘slug in a corridor’ sketch in this week’s ‘Mitchell and Webb Sound’ (series 5, episode 4, 21 mins, NAFAIUTB but still highly amusing in snatches) was inspired by ‘Soft Verges’. The ‘acknowledged him too soon ‘ is the clue.
21 December 2013
Frank hovis
A nice little mention for Len Ganley.
21 December 2013
Dr Desperate
“Nigel Blackwell, singer and songwriter of venerable indie mavericks Half Man Half Biscuit, is Britain’s greatest living satirist. For nearly 30 years now, Blackwell and his band have turned a gimlet, witty and exasperated eye on the foibles of modern culture. Blackwell, like me, is a keen walker, and on the one occasion we met we discussed this and our football teams (Tranmere Rovers and Wigan Athletic) more than we did music. This is as it should be – never trust anyone who never does anything but listen to music. The song ‘Footprints’ from their album ‘This Leaden Pall’ once caused me to “snort” a cup of tea in a train carriage. As with all HMHB songs, best to listen alone – at least the first time.”
Stuart Maconie, ‘My People’, this week’s Radio Times p133, advertising an archive session on next Monday’s Gideon Coe show on R6M.
11 January 2014
Gordo
Hats off to Football 365’s John Nicholson…
13 January 2014
EXXO
Hmm. I’ll grant that the musical references are the highlights an otherwise ‘there’s 2 minutes of my life I’ll never get back reading about a non-existent dichotomy’ sort of article, by my hat sytays on.
13 January 2014
warden hodges
So the Liverpool ECHO opens up the 100 Greatest Merseysiders debate and our hero gets a mention at 57 (as he was in 2003). Will he rise or will he fall? Tune in soon pop-pickers.
20 January 2014
EXXO
@ Warden Hodges – Strange thing is the Echo did the poll again in 2007 (NB57 wasn’t in the 100) but they don’t mention that this time round. And they have that 2007 list on the side of their bloody arena.
20 January 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Not sure it was a public poll in 2007, Exxo. If so, where is it? Certainly this year’s vote only mentions the one over ten years ago.
By the way, you know what to do people. NB57 is in the list if you look hard enough.
21 January 2014
EXXO
My reading of things is that they’ve decided the way they did the 2007 poll was a mistake and brushed it under the carpet – I think the Echo politburo decided on the 100 (or so?) and then just got you, the readers, to decide from those who was the dog’s.
Anyway it’s Paddy Shennan writing the articles about this one again, so just as he did in ’03 he’s bound to push the great man’s name out there a bit.
We know how much NB57 detests the idea of online campaigns that are anything to do with pushing HMHB anywhere in any form, but yeah, we do know what to do when NB57 and John Peel are there. Other Biscuit references, direct and indirect, can also be found.
21 January 2014
Taylo
I’m sure we will still call him NB57 whatever the result…I hope so anyway as it was my baby.
21 January 2014
EXXO
Not only that Taylo, but you were also the first person to call me Exxo. by the way I went back to the Yahoo group a few times last year to see if you’d yet reported back on your HMHB-themed nuptial events. Now they do deserve a bad review.
21 January 2014
Taylo
I should have done a wedding review you are right,Exxo….the tables were all named after Biscuit songs complete with lyrics on the back of the table placing….JDOG as the second half of the double header ‘first dance’, your magnificent poem made it onto a pinboard of peoples acceptances/pictures etc and of course ‘The 5th Biscuit’ played a lovely Horn solo on her wedding day.
23 January 2014
TWATTIER FEED
Got to love the way the most banal tweets always end with ‘don’t miss any updates from…’
Is there a way of making it go away please?
23 January 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Well played Barrie White for a quote, the relevance of which is so tenuous, it’s more tenuous than, than …a very tenuous thing.
28 January 2014
Mr galbraith
See also Mark Steel’s In Town – his cracking Radio 4 series tonight came from Birkenhead. Catch him in session, catch him on tour – or on the iplayer for a mention of our geniuses. It goes something like this: a quote from ‘I Left My Heart in Papworth General’ and the closing bars of ‘We Built this Village…’ to end the show. One week and counting to listen… don’t miss!
5 February 2014
EXXO
Thanks for the heads-up Mr.G. – enjoyed that. Always good to hear a mention for New Brighton Tower too. But don’t be mistaken, don’t be misled folks … we grew up “on the Wirral” and that’s what everyone said at the educational establishments I attended there. Similarly Mrs. E grew up “on the Fylde”. To me “in Wirral” just refers to the borough. I can see why the powers that be have pushed that version over the last two or three decades though and I guess its final victory is by now assured.
By the way, you never see Mark Steel and Carl Henry in the same room do you? Just sayin’.
6 February 2014
Dr Desperate
Also, B A “We Have A Dream” Robertson has been suspiciously quiet since the advent of Mark/Carl.
6 February 2014
Paul f
Not a HMHB reference, but I was pleased to come across a quote from Geoff about his Cavern-going days (“former jazz fan”) in Mark Lewisohn’s epic new Beatles book (900+ pages to get us to 1962 – 1700 pages if you splash out on the extended edition). From looking in the index it appears there are a few more quotes from the great man to come.
25 February 2014
CHARLES EXFORD
May I be the first to suggest that the campaign song for #saveBBC3 should be ‘Turn a Blind Eye’. They came for the unfunny shite and I did nothing, sort of thing. Sometimes its best to.
5 March 2014
BrumBiscuit
Yebbut, next thing you know it’ll be BBC4’s turn & then where would we get our Belgian clean-up team references from?
Having said that, I can’t recall the last time I chose to watch BBC3…
5 March 2014
Frank hovis
Lancashire Evening Post’s completist guide to advertising a gig: Everything’s Not AOR
7 March 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Wow, top work, Lancashire Evening Post. Possibly not going to shift too many tickets to non-fans, but doffs cap regardless.
7 March 2014
CHARLES EXFORD
Thirty! Plus one cover.
Top, top work.
7 March 2014
HALF NAN, HALF SEABISCUIT
I saw a sign that genuinely said ‘Evening Cancelled’ and couldn’t help but be reminded of ‘Evening of Swing Has Been Cancelled’…oh how the mind of the HMHB fan works!
12 March 2014
BrumBiscuit
Every time I see a Mystic Meg-type show poster, I long to write ‘Cancelled, due to unforeseen circumstances’ on it, but the opportunity hasn’t arisen – yet.
12 March 2014
Dr Desperate
Idly flicking through the ‘Trumptonshire Web’ site I found mention of this rather wonderful series broadcast on Radio 4 over Christmas 1995.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aEkfGZVzdw
The other four episodes covered The Clangers, TISWAS, Playschool, etc, and all are available on YouTube (as well as one about Vision On called ‘We Cannot Return Your Paintings’ from the follow-up series, ‘Trumpton Riots Again’).
23 March 2014
paul f
http://www.theguardian.com/travel/series/liverpool-city-guide
Great choice of picture at the bottom.
28 March 2014
EXXO
Nice one Paul. Not one but two 1985/86 pics of the lads on that page – once for “independent shops” and once for the Kevin Cummings photo exhibition.
28 March 2014
EXXO
And the lads also kick off the soundtrack for a video on that same page – “And the Beat Goes On”
28 March 2014
Dr Desperate
The ‘Independent Shops’ pic might as well have been by Kev Cummins too, “taking its inspiration” as it does from his famous 1979 shot of Joy Division on Epping Walk Bridge in Hulme.
28 March 2014
SIMON SMITH
Sorting through some old magazines, this piece was from January 1990.
31 March 2014
EXXO
Nice one Simon, which seems to date the Woodside Ferry photo session (discussed just above) to 1987.
The end of the article is nicely ironic, in an isn’t-football-brilliant-sometimes sort of way, when you consider that Rovers won their last 9 games or something & got to Wembley twice that season, missing out on promotion to Ossie Ardiles & Swindon and were indeed promoted the next, in the fourth Wembley appearance of 1990&1991.
31 March 2014
EXXO
Memory plays tricks. I’m now informed that if Tranmere had indeed won more than 2 of their last ten games, they would have gone up automatically in 1990. The nine league wins a row (12 consecutive wins in all) was in Feb-March, i.e. right after this article & definitely inspired by Sounds saying “there’s always next season”.
31 March 2014
Gordo
A mention in the Telegraph live blog of Real v Borusssia match.
16 April 2014
argieuk
Seemingly a mention in Julian Cope’s new novel (a kidnapping threat!)
17 April 2014
Half nan, half seabiscuit
The Grimsby Telegraph used ‘The Coroner’s Footnote’ at the end of the funeral listings…
23 April 2014
Gordo
You’re going on after Crispy Ambulance!
25 April 2014
paul f
Great stuff – a link for this site in the main article rather than in a below the line comment!
25 April 2014
Third rate Les
Hat tip to Simon Webb for naming a whole chapter of his book after “The Light At The End Of The Tunnel – Half Man Half Biscuit”. Book is entitled “Running Blind“.
It’s an account of what it’s like running the London Marathon as a blind runner. Each chapter is named after a favourite song of his. The HMHB one is largely my fault. We recently ran the Brighton Marathon (I guide him in some of his races) and at 17 miles were still exchanging “referees alphabet” references.
Warmly recommended.
26 April 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Ta to Simon Smith (see also above) for another archive cutting:
NME live review by James Brown, 4th August 1990
1 May 2014
EXXO
I don’t suppose we want to be the kind of gushing fan site where any positive mention in a DJ’s babble is faithfully drooled over, but I did just want to record the due respect to a certain Andrew Edwards of Wrexham who was the listener ‘profiled’ by Robin Ince on Lamacq’s show this Tuesday, and who elicited agreement from Lamacq that NB10 was indeed the finest lyricist these shores have ever produced. A snatch of ‘Referee’s Alphabet’ was played to illustrate.
1 May 2014
Chris The Siteowner
So Google’s algorithms search the web for the finest image to represent “Half Man Half Biscuit” and they come up with this (see right hand side).
Original is from here.
9 May 2014
Dawlishian
I used that image here a few days ago. Don’t think it was top of the list then. I wonder if my one use has ‘promoted’ it?
The clip, by the way, is Simon Mayo quoting ‘Chatteris’.
10 May 2014
Dawlishian
Should’ve said “The clip, by the way, is Simon Mayo quoting ‘Chatteris’ – again”.
(5th Mar 2014)
10 May 2014
Dr Desperate
Any middle-aged Northerners out there (it’s a long shot, I know) who’ve seen a copy of this in their local CAMRA pub?
http://barmcakemag.tumblr.com/
20 May 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Another gig review sent in by Simon (see others above), this time from Liverpool Planet X in January 1991. Simon writes: “Kev McManus appeared to take care of ‘all’ Merseyside bands in 1990-92 for NME and was hopelessly biased towards his mates, The appalling Farm and their pet bands. There is a news piece somewhere that said Nigel had ‘nervous exhaustion’ in July 1990 but whether it was true or a swing of the lead is moot. It is addressed briefly here.
20 May 2014
jitsu_g
Dr D, the article claims that Barmcake is available in quite a few pubs in Huddersfield. I am prepared to undertake a thorough search on your behalf and try and secure one for you. hopefully will have on for you on Saturday
20 May 2014
Dr Desperate
Excellent, ta!
21 May 2014
Chris The Siteowner
OK, a mate (in Huddersfield) went straight down the pub and found a copy. Don’t let that stop you searching, of course, Jitsu_G.
Here’s the article. And it’s not that complementary.
21 May 2014
Jitsu_G
Thanks Chris – I will still go and have a look (you don’t happen to know which pub ?)
21 May 2014
EXXO
Crikey, yet more proof that just ‘cos someone likes some Half Man Half Biscuit songs, it doesn’t mean they really get what the band is about. Les Dawson!? What can you say? I notice that on his Twitter, or somewhere, the fella has posted something like “Half Man Half Biscuit – just sarcastic Les Dawson and Camberwick Green tunes? Discuss.” As if his intention is to stir up controversy and elicit replies. Strange, because not one of his many other articles in the magazine tries to do this. In all the articles on The Wedding Present for example, or The Beautiful effing South, or the acts at Rebellion Festival who just churn out stuff from 30 years ago, there is no similar invective. Perhaps it’s because those acts have just carried on working in conventional ways, through conventional outlets and recycling old material within similar styles as might have been expected by the original fanbases? This seems to be the theme of the whole magazine – “I’m middle-aged, I don’t want anything challenging and I don’t want to understand any aspects of Half Man Half Biscuit that aren’t obvious to someone who just wants a quick laugh. By the way (the “highlights” of his listings page tells us), did you know you can watch old Monty Python sketches from 40 years ago in cinemas nationwide on the 20th July?” A reply to the piece is certainly called for.
21 May 2014
Dr Desperate
Never mind Les Dawson; Scouse?
21 May 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Jitsu_G – apparently it was in Coffee Evolution (8 Church Street).
22 May 2014
toastkid
Re that article: in defense of the writer, he may not have written the headline – often they are done by editors or sub-editors in larger publications, who will quickly scan the article for a pithy attention-grabbing paraphrase. Those bits were taken slightly out of context I’d say.
22 May 2014
EXXO
It’s a self-published fanzine, Toast, that he’s done every word of himself and then this article is one of several of his pieces that he’s tweeted about (but the only one he’s tweeted anything controversial about), repeating his own strange un-headliney headline, as if particularly trying to stir up a “twitter furore” from all the #hmhb twerds.
He’ll be on here sooner rather than later to debate this with us I’m sure – which is why (as some of you will have noticed) my previous comments were moderated by Chris – his blog as “Olthwaite” links to this site, and seems to suggest he’s the one who’s posted on here as Eric Olthwaite.
22 May 2014
Dr Desperate
Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal.
22 May 2014
Eric olthwaite
Hey! Exxo! Nothing to do with me. Views to which I certainly don’t subscribe, that nonsense about patchy gigs and too many fillers. Never heard of the fanzine, and didn’t know of anyone using the same nom de plume as me. Checked the blog and it seems he’s called Dave. My real name is Pete. Weirdly, I live in Huddersfield, where the fanzine was picked up from (cafe evolution is indeed a fine establishment). But I’ve never heard of this bloke. CTSO, am I allowed to change my name to avoid being mistaken for this other character?
22 May 2014
EXXO
Soz for the mistaken identity Pete! You do both know a lot about pubs in Holmfirth as well!
Change your handle on here? Unheard of! ;-)
23 May 2014
jitsu_g
i battled through the Friday night crowds to pick up a copy of Barmcake (don’t all rush at once) . its on its way to Dr D
24 May 2014
Eric olthwaite (Pete not Dave)
No problem Exxo! My Holmfirth pub knowledge is limited to be fair, I only really go there for Picturedrome gigs. Huddersfield is where it’s at for beer.
24 May 2014
Dave Wiggins
Nice to see the lads described as ‘peerless’, in the latest issue of the excellent ‘Classic Pop’ magazine.
5 June 2014
Dave Wiggins
Mention in this week’s NME too. Spoilt by being lazily described as ‘C86 comedy moment’.
7 June 2014
Dr Desperate
Not a media thing as such, but this event at the Rossendale Museum near Blackburn later this month features the work of Steve Hardstaff (Jacuzzi), who designed the covers of ‘Back In The DHSS’, ‘Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral’ and ‘This Leaden Pall’, among others.
http://www.thewhitaker.org/events/steve-hardstaff/
10 June 2014
EXXO
Nice one John, a few years ago in the Daily Post he said named the ‘4LWSTW’ cover as his favourite from _all_ his output , which I thought was wonderful, because I’m biased. A piece which could only have been produced as a collaboration between two men who truly love and understand the history of Birkenhead.
10 June 2014
gordo
“and you can easily add the info that you’re “watching Game of Thrones” or “listening to Half Man Half Biscuit” to that post.“
18 June 2014
Bobby SVARC
This.
21 June 2014
CHARLES 'EXXO' EXFORD
Genuinely brought a tear to my eye there Mick.
(could keep it under wraps until a certain day in the third week of July though)
21 June 2014
BrumbiscUit
@Bobby S: Being a nosey bastard, I had a look through the rest of the photos in the slideshow, as you do. That isn’t Tammy Wynette’s Winnebago with the pink, chintzy fittings, is it?
21 June 2014
CHARLES 'EXXO' EXFORD
Sure is, Andy.
But very unlived-in. All the upholstery is covered in thick, squelchy see-through plastic.
21 June 2014
Bobby SVARC
But no chemical shithouse which we found a bit weird
21 June 2014
Bobby SVARC
And it’s a caravan, Full blown gyppo job
21 June 2014
EXXO
Come on Jon it’s not often we have a commentator from off here at the World Cup… slip some in lad.
24 June 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Yet more top, top work from the Lancashire Evening Post, which must soon be up for a Golden Biscuit Award. This one’s particularly good, because only one word of the three in the headline is actually appropriate to the story.
25 June 2014
paul f
That’s going to hurt when the gobshites discover what inspired the headline.
25 June 2014
John Anderson
Hi Exxo. Just seen your post but unfortunately I’ve now completed my World Cup stint at talkSPORT. I did once promise to get a Fall reference into a Final Score report, which wasn’t too hard. Beautifully PUT AWAY.” Will try harder next time……
26 June 2014
Dr Desperate
I went to the Steve Hardstaff talk at the Whitaker Gallery in Rossendale on Saturday, and a fine thing it was. He showed examples of his work, including all his HMHB covers, and gave some fascinating insights into the making of some of them.
The taking of Gareth Jones’ cover shot for TLP (which came 93rd in Q magazine’s Hundred Best Record Covers Of All Time in 2001) was apparently delayed by drinkers from the pub coming out to watch SH trying to throw the tyre over the lamppost for half an hour, until someone suggested cutting it.
The face of the 4LWSTW was taken from a picture of a soldier going off to the First World War from Heswall railway station.
The ‘Equus On The Buses’ cover from the inner sleeve of CSI:A ran into copyright problems, not with LWT for its depiction of Arthur and Olive but with the Frick Collection in New York, who own the rights to Constable’s 1819 ‘The White Horse’ (see what he did there?) reproduced in the background. On the other hand, both Pam Ayres and Patti Smith loved ‘ ‘Orses ‘.
In an interview in SH’s book ‘Cover Versions’, NB10 gives the three reasons why he was “initially impressed with Mr Hardstaff:
1. His geographical convenience.
2. His seemingly effortless ability to make large a photograph we had for the front cover of Back In The DHSS [we were still pointing at aeroplanes in 1985] and perhaps best of all…
3. The music which he’d be blasting out from his sound system when I called at his home.”
(I did ask him about the new album, but he denied any knowledge of it.)
2 July 2014
Gordo
The Referee’s Alphabet has reached Mexico.
2 July 2014
Gordo
Stavanger Toestub made it onto a list of 10 great songs about Norway.
2 July 2014
EXXO
On today’s Gideon Coe show we had Blackwell’s thoughts on the Tour, and the story of the Lilac Harry Quinn itself.
At that precise moment I was watching the peloton trundle past the end of my dog walk.
5 July 2014
POP-TART
At the half-way stage of the stage, NB10’s tip looking good so I’ve had a go on Sagan in running at 15/8 (still available with Paddy P as we speak)
6 July 2014
Bobby SVARC
Stick to the hosses man
6 July 2014
toastkid
Thanks for posting that Exxo! I heard he was going to be on but wasn’t able to catch it at the time.
7 July 2014
Dr Desperate
It looks like it was CtSO who did the posting on SoundCloud, so thanks to him also.
Good stuff on the fraternal link between BITDHSS and ALHQ, and finally a definitive date for NB10’s birthday. He was 50 on the only day that the Tour ascended l’Alpe d’Huez twice, which was 18th July 2013, so he’ll be 51 a week on Friday.
(I assume they’ll be removing Lance Armstrong’s name from Hairpin 21 soon.)
7 July 2014
Alice Van Der Meer
If he was watching stage 3, he’ll have seen me and me folks watching the peleton tear by their front door. Blimey, I’m tragic if I’m being excited by that!
10 July 2014
EXXO
Blimey, what a night that was last night for Biscuit Derbies! I was torn between The “Soupies” triumph over the Lux Familiar boys and the pre-season grudge “friendly” between Elgin and Nairn.
I followed the matches mainly on Ceefax of course, though I was trying to recreate both games in subutteo as they progressed, based on judicious interpretation of the Twitter messages flying around from from the respective Ultra groups.
I’m glad the proper footy is on its way back. I reckon Stromsgodset even have an outside chance of making the CL group stage you know.
11 July 2014
Gordo
They didn’t quite get the title of the song correct (so un-German)
16 July 2014
Gordo
…and at no 45 in the greatest uk indie records of all time…
24 July 2014
Paddy
Fallesque? I’m writing to the Ombudsman for a recount, should be much higher. And as for MBV at no. 5? Well really
24 July 2014
acidic regulator
The Guardian’s blog on stage 20 of the 2014 Tour de France, @1:52 PM
26 July 2014
Dr Desperate
And at 2.48 he describes Tony Martin as Half Martin, Half Machine.
27 July 2014
acidic regulator
Holy Socks, that clip of See That My Bike has had something like 700 new views since yesterday! :-D
27 July 2014
Gordo
I’ll forgive the Czechs for not knowing the difference between Liverpool and Birkenhead
Now, recalls the glory days, as well as a song from Liverpool rock band Half Man Half Biscuit. Demolition Everton and subsequent successes in European competition Dukla inspired its members so much that in 1986 they named one of their songs “All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit” (Everything I wish for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away Jersey ).
28 July 2014
acidic regulator
An article in today’s Guardian about Slipknot has attracted some Biscuit-related action.
4 August 2014
paul f
Two articles actually, both just begging for a Vatican Broadside comment.
5 August 2014
EXXO
Some of the replies around 5pm yesterday confirm my immediate reaction that VB wouldn’t be in my top 5 of HMHB songs under 2 minutes.
5 August 2014
nigel
Disappointed by the script in “corrie” last night
(I know…)
Kid got an ADHD diagnosis but no mention of the other possibility
5 August 2014
paul f
Go on Exxo – you know you want to…
5 August 2014
EXXO
Well go on then. If they had to “retire” one under two minute song from the live set from the ones they play live regularly, I’d miss any of these five before I’d miss VB.
Bob Wilson
Squabblefest
Petty Sessions
Mountain Bikes
Restless Legs
Under a minute and the competition would get somewhat thinner of course.
5 August 2014
Dr Desperate
Marc Riley playing Peel session ‘Secret Gig’ on R6M now! (8.50pm)
6 August 2014
EXXO
It feels like it’s been a bumper few days of HMHB plays on 6, kicking off about 7am last Friday with the nightshift chap reading out half the song titles from CSI and playing Bad Losers as he handed over to the annoying breakfast twerp, and averaging about 2 a day on various shows since then, for no apparent reason.
6 August 2014
Kittymc
Been in the boondocks, and only just signed up here, so please forgive savage ignorance if this is old news, but I stumbled across this the other day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEgPktmj9Tg
Mark Steele on Birkenhead. Entertaining stuff – especially liked the bit about the Police strike.
7 August 2014
Dr Desperate
Further information on ‘Instant Agony’ (v.s.), from Steve Hardstaff’s book ‘Cover Versions’:
“In 1982, Nigel lent me the name of his yet to be formed band Half Man Half Biscuit for use as an identity for a record label. My request for more information on this subject evoked the following email:
Good Morning Sire. The story goes thus;
I had the name Half Man Half Biscuit before I’d actually written any songs [somewhat inevitably]. John Weaver of Birkenhead’s Skeleton Records heard about us and asked if he could use the name as a label for the new single by Instant Agony, figuring that we would never go on and make records ourselves [as we ourselves probably thought]. This is why I was quite happy to let him have the name. I was of the opinion, no doubt, that I could bask in any reflected glory if the record became a hit. That simple really.
I’m not too sure when it was released but I’d imagine there was a fair amount of time between it and our own debut album coming out, which confirms to me again how long it was that we had a name for a band without ever doing much about it! Still not doing overly much about it now in fact…
Hope this has you drowning in clarification. See you very soon with that Egyptian Dad’s Army film.
Nigel.”
The label (with HMHB logo) is here.
10 August 2014
EXXO
Thanks John (and Steve and NB10). That certainly helps to clarify the murky questions I threw up above in Feb 2011 (post 171) about whether the band and songs did yet exist when the name first did. And part of me genuinely hopes no recordings will ever emerge of anything any of the band members did prior to about 1984….
11 August 2014
EXXO
Blimey – two interesting things on the twitter feed in the same week !
11 August 2014
Dr Desperate
OK, @Exxo, but surely you wouldn’t include ‘Superman’ by Attempted Moustache (1980)?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwoDgww4fQU
11 August 2014
Dr Desperate
And certainly not ‘If I’ve Told You Once’ by Fishmonkeyman (1991), featuring Ken (with hair) and Carl?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCxhj54gQ4w
11 August 2014
Kemper BOyd
Does anyone know what Julian Cope’s grievance with HMHB is?
12 August 2014
EXXO
Yeah I meant – well that part of me meant – and I never said which part of me it was – current members – I’d forgotten how decent that Attempted Moustache (Louden Wainwright III album title 1973) stuff was, very Gang of Four.
Gang of Four an influence on Crossley & the other Blackwell too I think.
12 August 2014
toastkid
Kemper – including them in his upcoming novel feels more like fondness than a grievance.
12 August 2014
EXXO
I haven’t read Cope’s book yet, but I’m guessing it’s pretty surreal stuff, with the seed of the kidnap or non-kidnap episode possibly even sown by the image associations of ‘Ordinary to Enschede’.
Incidentally, I’d guess NB10 will have read much of Julian Cope’s previous literary output, not least his ‘Modern Antiquarian’ (1998), which features a passage about devil worship at the Rollright Stones.
12 August 2014
WARDEN HODGES
Cope must have been out of his mind on dope and speed.
12 August 2014
paul f
@Warden Hodges – When wasn’t he?
13 August 2014
dirk hofman
The bad reviews HMHB get in the book are fictional and come from the unsavoury villain of the piece,it’s a funny story that runs out of steam a bit towards the end,worth a read though.I can’t remember any squabblefest between HMHB and JC36..
13 August 2014
Gordo
Bastard Son of Dean Friedman gets a mention in the New Statesman
17 August 2014
Gordo
1986 interview from No 1 magazine (remember it? me neither)
17 August 2014
Kemper Boyd
Ta for clearing that up
18 August 2014
Dave Wiggins
Article in today’s Liverpool Echo, by top HMHB fan, Paddy Shennan, on the plight of Liverpool’s Breck Road area. Commenting on its remaining shops, our man couldn’t resist a cheeky “three butchers”…
18 August 2014
Bobby SVARC
Very upset on reading the Kate Bush set list from last nights gig, no “Man with the gaffer tape supplies”…….I’d have demanded a refund
27 August 2014
EXXO
Do we need a separate thread for HMHB airplay-related anectodes & observations?
Anyway, did anyone else notice how appropriate Lamacq’s choice to play ‘Paintball’ was there, for his Peel 75th birthday tribute hour?
….’cos during the first hour of the same programme, the cringeworthy ‘Good Day, Bad Day’ slot in the show had featured a bloke whose “best ever gig experience” was an intimate Annie Lennox show with an invited media audience, to which he won his place as a prize.
29 August 2014
Dr Desperate
Tom Robinson included the Peel session ‘DPAK’ in tonight’s ‘Now Playing’ JP special.
Bit disappointed he didn’t go with my suggestion of ‘Irk The Purists’, namechecking as it does both The Fall and Captain Beefheart – never mind.
Anyway, here’s the R6M Festive 50 most played piechart, with HMHB at #12.
31 August 2014
CARRIE ANNE
@DD – At the last minute we realised we were going to see The Fall in York on what would have been John Peel’s 75th birthday – quite poignant really. Great gig too, they did him proud.
1 September 2014
EXXO
As this thread has become all things to all Biscuiteers, may I abuse it once more Chris to request that @Nathan please can we have your blog post/article as a separate thread on here? Would be a lovely can of worms to get our teeth into while awaiting this LP record.
8 September 2014
Dr Desperate
Just finished reading Peel’s auto/biography ‘Margrave of the Marshes’, which mentions on p371 his becoming JP43 in a national poll of Great Britons, narrowly beating Dougie (DB47) but not Blakey (WB38).
A member of the Bury St Edmunds band The Dawn Parade apparently complained, “Can’t believe they gave that Greatest Briton shit to Churchill, when there’s a man among us who still plays Half Man Half Biscuit records on the taxpayer’s buck.”
10 September 2014
Gordo
Eleanor Oldroyd (who has previously mentioned Bob Wilson Anchorman on the show) mentioned Arsene Wenger’s trip to Rome to see the pope on yesterday’s Fighting Talk (32m58secs into the 13 Sep podcast) http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/ft
14 September 2014
EXXO
I heard that without even thinking of HMHB, cos the football song (“who the f*** are Man United?) has such a place in my consciousness anyway, and likewise I imagine Eleanor learned the song from the North Bank before the HMHB adaptation existed. So for me the jury’s out on whether it was a Biscuit reference – but I’d forgotten she had previous in that respect and I’m glad that English custom precludes the jury from being swayed by that.
14 September 2014
CARRIE ANNE
Background music to a Channel 4 news item about Tesco in Chatteris tonight sounded very familiar….
24 September 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Brief mention today in a BBC.com article (not available as standard in the UK! – bastards) about “The Hidden Messages In Songs”. Thanks to Conal H for that.
4 October 2014
Gordo
Shit Arm Bad Tattoo is quoted in this article about indie diss tracks
http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/oct/07/best-indie-diss-tracks-mark-kozelek-war-on-drugs
7 October 2014
paul f
Nice to see from the Twitter feed that “Seductive Amateurs” are fans of the band.
17 October 2014
EXXO
Recent twits also doing nicely in restoring the twitter feed to its reputation as a list of HMHB lyrics with slight spelling mistakes.
17 October 2014
Bobby SVARC
Couldn’t care less about that Exxo, “Find Sexy Love On Your Mobile” is the best track on the new album.
17 October 2014
surprised of anglia
Never mind the amateurs, isn’t James the Great a rather poor quality selfie by professional historian Simon Schama?
17 October 2014
frank hovis
It’s half time
21 October 2014
bobby svarc
Typical Leicester Mockrey, Utter Shite.
21 October 2014
Gordo
Christian Rock Concert gets a mention in an article about hidden messages on websites in Mexico and Bolivia.
27 October 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Postal interview with NB10 from the “Dukla Prague Away Kit” blog…
31 October 2014
FOR o2 I'D LOSE MY ROGER GREEN
Nice one John Hartley (lovely hand-writing too).
It’s reassuring to hear i’m not the only one who’s always worried, as soon as I open the new album, that it might be the last.
If rather less reassuring to get the answer. That final track sure does have a valedictory feel.
31 October 2014
ALex Howard
A friend of mine introduced me to recently to HMHB. Well, he tried once many years ago when we worked together but I suppose I wasn’t ready. But he bought Urge for Offal & suggested I listen to it because my daughter is called Constance. So I did. I think it is fantastically good & enhanced by your website because otherwise I’d be spending a lot of time trying to decipher the lyrics, whereas now I can read & listen.
I shall now on festive occasions and when I feel flush buy HMHB oeuvre. Thank you very much for your web-site.
2 November 2014
dickhead in quicksand
@@Alex Howard – you do realise that you’re now trapped, trapped, trapped forever, in a site in which the regulars argue over the position of a comma and whether or not a word should have a capital letter?
But (hey) now that you’re here, trapped like the rest of us, feel free to join in.
2 November 2014
bobby svarc
You can check-out anytime you like but you can never leave
2 November 2014
Dr Desperate
Check out (no hyphen).
3 November 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Yay. We’re correcting the comments now. I really should put up another song.
3 November 2014
the famous dave spikey
Richard Lyon in the morning slot on Grimsby-based radio station ‘Compass FM’ played ‘All I Want For Christmas…’ classic!
3 November 2014
EXXO
@canpress
I’m not on twitter, but now you come to mention it yes – it did strike me that I didn’t realise Dukla had much ethnic diversity in the years when they had that kit.
5 November 2014
Peter Gandy
I would love the Francis Benali answer to have been true.
5 November 2014
Chris The Siteowner
One hundred and eighty…
13 November 2014
EXXO
Darts in general being treated like a ‘sport’ – oh so wrong, oh so wrong.
Discuss.
14 November 2014
Gordo
“By far the greatest reason for a split, however, has to be Half Man Half Biscuit, who cited “musical similarities” when calling it a day in 1986 (ostensibly so that singer and lyricist Nigel Blackwell could spend more time watching daytime TV). Thankfully by 1990 the band had rediscovered uncommon ground, put their similarities behind them and soldiered on, releasing their 14th studio album, Urge for Offal, this year.”
http://www.theguardian.com/membership/2014/nov/13/split-decisions
14 November 2014
bobby svarc
Darts is a game, a pub game at that, played the game for 35 years to a good standard untill I lost my arm, no way is it a sport, good TV product though but that is being ruined by piss heads
14 November 2014
Chris The Siteowner
Good new interview with NB10/57 on writer Michael Stewart’s blog. In which it is claimed that “Adam Boyle is simply a made up character”, amongst other things.
24 November 2014
a_p
Yikes, HMHB make it on Only Connect!
24 November 2014
EXXO
It’s not so much that it got mentioned on ‘Only Connect’ (that was inevitable given our YouGov profile) but it was that it was the second-to-last one in the sequence, with only the really obvious and original one left.
Yeah Carey you’re more obscure than HMHB you are.
24 November 2014
John AndErson
Bugger. I started watching it but missed that bit. What was the reference? Sports journo Jonathan Wilson was one of the contestants but he knows less about music than anyone I’ve ever met so I can’t believe he got it right.
24 November 2014
EXXO
Took an instant dislike to that team and within 30 secs both me and Mrs E. made some very harsh remarks about them that would be unfair to repeat. Glad they lost.
Just a series of “All I want for Xmas is …” song titles. Nothing to get excited about.
(Clip now uploaded to YouTube; see above – CtSO)
24 November 2014
EXXo
I had the Proj open when DPAK was mentioned on the prog, and started typing the above comment immediately, betting Mrs . Exford that by the time I had pressed ‘submit’ there would be at least two mentions on the twitter feed on here. There were about 7 (and already one other comment on here).
24 November 2014
paul f
Can I just point out that if Mark Lowe (from the twitter feed) comes on here, he may want to change his picture as the current one, when reduced to thumbnail size, makes him look like a would-be Tory councillor.
27 November 2014
EXXo
He says he’s proud to be an accountant though, and if he’s going to be an indie kid then he’ll be independent in his choice of badges, thank you very much.
Meanwhile after months slagging off the twitter feed on here, the irony is that when I try to join it I can’t. Not sure what I’m doing wrong, but hashtags don’t work for me. I’m not optimistic about any automatic doors on the way to Manc tomorrow either. #hologramshavemoresubstance.
27 November 2014
Mattkin-as-is
He (Mark Lowe) and I started work at the same place 25 years ago almost exactly. Not that that has much to do with anything, but I just thought it was a weird coincidence that someone I haven’t seen for a good 15 years should suddenly pop up in the comments on here.
27 November 2014
dickhead in quicksand
There’s a riot goin’ on.
6 December 2014
Gordo
It fills me with joy to see Everton fans out jogging and according to yougov.co.uk they also have better taste in music than you would think.
7 December 2014
dickhead in quicksand
Toffees out jogging?
Bonus references to James Dean, Carol Vorderman and Countdown, too
7 December 2014
EXXO
Whenever I click on a Mail link I know I’m going to regret it, but the ‘but’ in the caption for the photo in that Evertonian yougov article makes me want to set fire to a particularly large pile of commemorative tea towels.
9 December 2014
peter mcornithologist
@ Exxo.It is difficult but for your future well being please resist. You already know that it will bring fury and bewilderment. 30 years later the coverage of the miners rights will never be forgotten.
11 December 2014
nigel
The I yesterday had a story about the end of Earls Court and said the new homes, shops etc won’t be immortalised in song like “took problem chimp to the Ideal Home show”
14 December 2014
paul f
Justice!
17 December 2014
dickhead in quicksand
I’ve been wondering if the target of This One’s For Now has a beige headboard.
17 December 2014
Pete
There are folk on the thread below the Guardian poll moaning that the poll was ‘hijacked’ by fans mobilising on fan-sites. What a load of tosh. I’ve commented there to that effect (that it’s tosh, not that we hijacked the poll).
17 December 2014
EXXO
If someone had hi-jacked the poll it would have been mentioned on here surely. Be interesting to see if it’s #2 or #1 in the 6Music presenter & staff award. If it were presenters only surely a shoo-in for #1?
#2 announced tomorrow, #1 on Friday.
17 December 2014
dickhead in quicksand
I’ve just noticed that a well-known Irish band didn’t make the Readers’ Top 10 :-))
@@Exxo, also: just as with the Liverpool Echo poll, vote-packing would spoil the fun.
17 December 2014
Dr Desperate
Each of the Top 10 has a quote from The Guardian’s review when the album came out, under the heading ‘What We Said’. The one for UfO says, “Well, nothing.”
17 December 2014
Eric olthwaite
Well Exxo, it’s the first time I’ve heard of any campaign. And, if there was one, I’m surprised it wasn’t mentioned on here. Where we would have been so occupied with discussing the merits or otherwise of such a campaign, when not doing our important quibbling, that most of us wouldn’t have had the time to vote anyway.
17 December 2014
EXXO
Errm, not that I’m concerned (everybody sing), their station’s full of shit (altogether now )….
Not in the top bloody fifteen!? Not in the top bloody fifteen.
Dickheads in quicksand the lot of them
19 December 2014
Dr Desperate
Steve Lamacq played ‘Nerys Hughes’ on R6M last night, sandwiched between The Who and Inspiral Carpets as a listener’s 13th record beginning with the letter I (I know).
20 December 2014
dickhead in quicksand
“Twitter and Instagram users can learn a lot about capturing the zeitgeist from a 1920s Chicago journalist”
22 December 2014
Greenlander
This may or may not be biscuit related…. An article on defunct railway stations introduces us to Paul Wright from Wallasey reminiscing about Liverpool Exchange.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-29816152
Apologies if this is not the ex-HMHB drummer.
11 January 2015
EXXO
It isn’t – no resemblance.
12 January 2015
Alice Van der meer
Would it be a bad idea to say that I was greatly chuffed to be the first person quoted by the Grauniad under UFO?
19 January 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Yes, totally unacceptable self-promotion. The Graun didn’t quote me, ffs – ’nuff said.
btw some miscreant (user Nepthsolem, you know who you are!) has sneaked (snuck?) Evil Gazebo into this thread. I had been thinking of replying to user WhirledNews’ post about life’s pleasures, with a sage word or two about Biros and slippers, until I saw that. (I don’t think you need an account to thumb up.)
20 January 2015
Ballpool
I was looking through the Jan/Feb 2015 issue of Boots Health & Beauty Magazine – specifically the Men’s Zone! Section at the back – where helpful advice was being dispensed on how to stay off the booze this January. The different scenarios were broken into ‘tipple temptations,’ and in the one titled: The lads’ Sunday get-together (it’s a sacred tradition), was this:
‘Forget moaning over a pint – why not play five-a-side football instead? ‘Exercise releases endorphins, the happy chemicals in the brain,’ says Harley Street hypnotherapist Brian Jacobs. Plus, you’ll get to dig out that vintage Dukla Prague away kit that’s been gathering in the dust…’
A little disappointing that the last part wasn’t quoted by the Harley Street hypnotherapist, but still.
20 January 2015
Gordo
“’95 was still the era of inflatable bananas in the stands, Half Man Half Biscuit and the Wedding Present on the cassette mixtape, the success of Fever Pitch followed by other fans’ stories published by the bucketload, some revealing a welcome feminine side to fan culture via their confessional writing style.“
30 January 2015
Corgiregistered
Chris Hawkins 6Music 20thJan @ 6AM
Got in the car and the first tune was Breaking News – HMHB, best start ever to a day. They played it as it contains the word Uppity. They’re collating a minute long piece of song clips referencing the Mr.Men – starts off using the Mr out of The Fall’s Mr Pharmacist so not a bad effort but ends with Wrong by Depeche Mode, talk about extremes.
5 February 2015
TAYLO
Yep it was Loop (and one other) who sent that one in and Hawkins read out her Tweet on the subject before playing Breaking News.
Although a late convert, Chris Hawkins is a Biscuit fan and favourited a picture of Loop playing Bass on Saturday Night during UFO.
6 February 2015
peter mcornithologist
@ Mr.Corgi.A little opinionated old chap.Some folk may think that The Fall are reasonable.
6 February 2015
Dr Desperate
Radcliffe & Maconie played JDOGs on R6M this afternoon, as part of the Teatime Theme Time, following Flash And The Pan’s ‘Waiting For a Train’ and Dream Warriors’ ‘Wash Your Face In My Sink’ (things you might find in a kitchen). They both said how much they loved it, and SM went as far as to opine that the bassline at the end was a quote from Joy Division (and Warsaw)’s ‘Interzone’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgoBRn2HQDo (itself, as we know, a reference to Northern Soul classic Nolan Porter‘s ‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbKCWBTgTR8 ).
6 February 2015
exxo
Good for them. I sometimes think that a lot of folks just think of ‘JDOG’ as a bit of a throwaway tune, our lads’ equivalent ‘Where’s me Jumper?’ or something, and are unaware of just how very, very clever it is (a lot cleverer than you-know-which-song eh Brumbiscuit?)
7 February 2015
amoco cadiz
Does anyone else find it rather grates though that the aforementioned Mr. Maconie has been heard on more than one occasion to wax lyrical about the band…and yet they are hardly ever played on the show? In fact JDOG is, I think, the only song I’ve ever heard them play which is pretty poor as I’m sure that I remember him refer to NB10 as something along the lines of “Britain’s greatest living lyricist”. Strange.
7 February 2015
Jeremy Smith
HMHB on the Radio: 08.02.2015 10:00pm
Strange Fruit on Miskin radio.
Tonight’s show is called “They Should Have Been Bigger than the Beatles” and features artists who could have and should have made it bigger than they did. The featured album tonight is Urge for Offal from which I will be playing 4 tracks, which I am sure all of you have heard anyway. However, as well as HMHB, there is much much more so if you would like to listen, you can find it on
http://www.miskinradio.co.uk
or via the Tunein app on your phone (surprisingly easy to set up)
The shows also get streamed after a few weeks on Gonzo Multi-Media, and my first show from four weeks ago (106) is now live. You may recognise the opening song.
https://www.gonzomultimedia.co.uk/radio/player.php
8 February 2015
brumbiscuit
Err, give us a clue, Exxo!
8 February 2015
John Anderson
Someone on the Fall forum has just posted this interview with Geoff Davies about Probe . It’s from April last year but was new to me. Apologies if I’m going over old ground. HMHB feature towards the end:
http://www.catalystmedia.org.uk/issues/misc/articles/vinyl_addiction3.php
15 February 2015
Bobby SVARC
A little bit of mild spamming here Chris, But the new jd meatyard album ‘Taking The Asylum’ is now available for pre-order.
http://probe-plus.co.uk/index.php/news
5 March 2015
Dr Desperate
It may have been mentioned here before* (and was on FB yesterday), but BBC R4Extra are currently repeating Alan Garner’s Manc-set children’s drama ‘Elidor’, first broadcast a week after the channel’s launch in April 2011, and the first episode http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0106x20 mentions a HMHB T-shirt (4.38).
This appears to be adapted from the TV version in 1995 which includes the following exchange (3.48):
Helen: “Our Price – I want that Half Man Half Biscuit tape”
Nick: “Don’t let ’em hear what the words say, that’s all.”
Roland: “Nigel Blackwell swears all the time.”
Helen: “It’s not swearing, it’s social comment.”
The source book by Alan Garner was published in 1965, so it’s likely that these references were added by the adapter (for both radio and TV) Don Webb.
*It was, but good spot anyway! – CtSO
10 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
You’re not getting the Golden Biscuit encrusted with swords, oak leaves and diamonds until you specify exactly where Thomas Hardy wrote “Nigel Blackwell swears all the time”.
11 March 2015
Dr Desperate
It may be that Don Webb was also responsible for the band being mentioned on Byker Grove (Hoagy’s post 24 above), as according to IMDb he wrote 10 episodes of the programme, in 1990 and 1992.
(He comes from Great Sutton, went to Birkenhead School in Oxton, was described as ‘Birkenhead-based screenwriter’ in a 2007 piece in the Wirral Globe, supports Tranmere Rovers and is a member of the HMHB FB group. Apart from that I know nothing about him.)
11 March 2015
Gordo
Paddy Shennan unsubtly levers HMHB into an article about lollypop men http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/real-lives/confessions-of-merseyside-lollipop-man-8817445
12 March 2015
Gordo
and well done to Dave Kidd of the Mirror http://www.irishmirror.ie/sport/soccer/soccer-news/tv-reviews-turn-football-its-5217911
12 March 2015
Trelford mills
Quick heads-up.
In the latest instalment of ‘Ruth and Martin’s Album Club’, a marvellous place wherein people are asked to listen three times to an album they’ve never heard before and then review it, the football writer Iain Macintosh gives ‘Voyage to the Bottom of the Road’ a whirl.
Results can be found at http://ramalbumclub.com/
In further news, next week’s edition sees none other than Nigel Blackwell himself reviewing an album from 1968. No clues yet as to what that might be, but I believe it was quite a challenge finding something he hadn’t heard before. So that may be worth keeping an eye on.
13 March 2015
Dr Desperate
Pretty good that, Trel, though a bit disappointing when you scroll down past the first 8 of 10 reviews and it says ‘Load More’. (They had lied to me. They had lied to me on their website.)
Looking forward to NB10’s review of a 1968 album – fingers crossed for ‘We’re Only in it for the Money’.
13 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
They had lied to me on their website? Oh no!
14 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Props to whoever sneaked this into the buildup to the Wales-Ireland game in The Graun’s play-by-play blog:
“Hi Dan,” writes Kennedy Bridport. “Thinking of decent albums in 1995, there was Half Man Half Biscuit’s “Some Call It Godcore,” which may not be one of their best but does contain the magisterial ‘Even Men with Steel Hearts (love to see a dog on the pitch)’.”
14 March 2015
Trelford mills
As promised, from the ‘Ruth & Martin’s Album Club’ blog, here’s NB10’s review of an album he’d not heard before – namely ‘Odessey and Oracle’ by The Zombies. Not the obvious choice, it must be said. Contains bonus references to both Betws-y-Coed and Beddgelert.
http://ramalbumclub.com/
18 March 2015
EXXO
Aargh Cell 44 has become an earworm since you put this album up a couple of days ago and everything in my life is suddenly to that tune, with all kinds of twiddly Pet Sounds harmonies and bum-bum barber shop nonsense.
I’m not best pleased about this Martin.
18 March 2015
GoK WAN ACOLYTE
That article shows a disturbing number of grocer’s apostrophes from NB57/10 (or is it grocers’ apostrophes? discuss)
18 March 2015
EXXO
I’d go for the plural “grocer’s apostrophe’s (1p a pound)” as it illustrates what they are. The odd slip with “it’s” can happen to the best of us.
18 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Groçulent apostrophes (per Graham Chapman). Though grocers apostrophe’s works too.
18 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Ruth & Martin’s Album Club … Gerry & The Peacemakers … Colt 45s? (Which Freddie and Herman certainly deserved to be on the business end of.)
I can confirm R&M’s idea that hearing She’s Not There on Radio Luxembourg in 1964 was definitely a wtf?-related moment.
R&M kindly omit to mention that The Zombies’ version of Roadrunner is arguably the worst ever committed to disc. And don’t even get me started on I’ve got my mojo working.
19 March 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
The Zombies sound like early Spinal Tap to me.
19 March 2015
toastkid
Jeff – “Time of the season”, definitely yeah.
19 March 2015
JUST MARK
I think I must be missing something with The Zombies. After reading various comments about how ahead of their time they were I’d decided that ‘She’s Not There’ wasn’t the obvious track I was thinking of but it was. I must admit I place that song in amongst the usual suspects of the sixties compilation that your wedding DJ used to put on when the buffet was announced. Nothing like the jaw-dropping reaction I had on first listening to The Monks.
19 March 2015
EXXO
Two sentences of wikipedia have rarely made me laugh out loud as much as these about ‘She’s Not There.’
The narrator has unsatisfactory dealings with an untrustworthy female. He reproaches unspecified associates for failing to warn him of her unsavoury character
For its time it is genius production. The Wiki page does not enlighten me as to who at Decca was responsible. Maybe the fella who was bored with guitar groups?
19 March 2015
dickhead in quicksand
@@JD, nailed: I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
@@Exxo, props to whoever sneaked those two sentences into WP. It would be possible to find out who did – but to use a technical term, I can’t be arsed.
19 March 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
“The narrator has unsatisfactory dealings with an untrustworthy female. He reproaches unspecified associates for failing to warn him of her unsavoury character.”
Was it Charles Dickens, from the grave?
21 March 2015
Dirk Hofman
As I enjoy an ambiguous pun, perhaps the title of the album reviewed could refer to the musical journey that Colin and Rodney were on, as opposed to being a spelling mistake (see me) by art teacher and cover artist Terry Quirk (..he’s got a few..).
My coat is already on..
21 March 2015
Dr Desperate
This month’s Mojo (May 15, Blur on the cover) comes with a free CD entitled ‘modern life is rubbish’, described as “15 tracks of everyday British angst”. Following footstamping tracks from such newbies as Fat White Family and Sleaford Mods, No 15 is ‘Westward Ho! – Massive Letdown’.
27 March 2015
jitsu_g
Dion Dublin is to host homes under the hammer! Given nigels love ( possibly) for the program I expect some sort of mention some time live soon
28 March 2015
EXXO
Is nobody with a tw*tter account going to reply to all this latest #HMHB junkmail optimism with various excerpts from DBT? I would but I gave up quickly after finding that holograms have more substance than my hashtags, which just don’t seem to work on my account.
31 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
Sorry for the blatant spam but he is one of our own, jd meatyard “Taking The Asylum” out now.
http://www.probeplus-store.co.uk/index.php?_a=product&product_id=177
13 April 2015
Ron
Adam Fleming on BBC2’s Daily Politics today described George Osborne as the ‘King of Hi Vis’
6 May 2015
Dr Desperate
Well spotted, Ron. It’s here at 28.30 http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05twy6f/daily-politics-06052015.
Now, was it a deliberate PRB?
7 May 2015
EXXO
Beat me to it there John, except my email was bigging up a very different song (and Neil’s tune-smithery in general), and she’ll never read mine out now that you’ve already mentioned him (& my least favourite HMHB bassline).
(we kind of need a separate thread for HMHB on the radio)
23 May 2015
Dr Desperate
Sorry, Exxo (and for choosing the first bass riff I could think of at short notice).
For those who didn’t hear it, this was Liz Kershaw reading out my choice of Neil as favourite bassist, and TPCTIHS as favourite bassline, on R6M this afternoon (22.30).
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05wcwyq
23 May 2015
Dr Desperate
Beginning to wish I hadn’t now – had a FB message from Ian (Mog) Morris, bassman of the Sm!rks, Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias and The Lonesome & Penniless Cowboys, complaining that I didn’t choose him.
25 May 2015
crampton hodnet
Hello.
In the 23 April 2015 London Review of Books, Lavinia Greenlaw, reviewing the book of Ian Curtis’ lyrics:
“They are now part of the global adolescent ether as well as a staple of middle age. Last Christmas you could buy Joy Division oven gloves.”
And then the next issue had the following:
‘Letters, 7 May 2015
I don’t own a pair of the Joy Division oven gloves mentioned by Lavinia Greenlaw, and hesitate to speak for those who do, but I suspect they aren’t in fact middle-aged fans of the post-punk quartet (LRB, 23 April). More likely they are fans of Half Man Half Biscuit, paying tribute to a song from that band’s 2005 LP, Achtung Bono:
Ooh ooh piccalilli shinpads
Ooh ooh polishing the nave
I keep wicket for the Quakers
In me Joy Division oven gloves.
Paul Taylor
University College London’
This amongst letters relating to hummus, Kaiser Wilhelm II, and oddly enough a lengthy description by Jonathan Elphick of sanderlings: ‘they look as if they had been caught and grasped by someone with ink-stained fingers’.
28 May 2015
EXXO
London Review of Books, eh? Blimey.
The original Joy Division Oven Gloves were made before the song came out. At Birkenhead market. OK they were a piss-take of merchandising in a similar vein to Evil Gazebo golf tees, but nevertheless they were made for a fan of Joy Division. Most HMHB fans who have made them since do so in imitation of that act of communion, and many of them will love Joy Division. It therefore has to be said that to assume that a minority of Joy Division oven gloves bought last Christmas were bought by or for Joy divvies is somewhat presumptuous.
29 May 2015
Chris The Siteowner
So this is a wind-up, right? Live Aid?
2 June 2015
Dr Desperate
As if, Kapadia.
3 June 2015
toastkid
Fraid so – from their About page “Established in 2012, the Studio Exec is a satirical movie based website, publishing spoof news, reviews and comedy masterpieces.”
3 June 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Thank goodness for that. There’s quite a lot of stuff on that site which you presumably need to be in-on-the-joke to realise it’s a spoof. And the gag seems to be one which might only be appreciated by those familiar with the band, TBH.
3 June 2015
Dr Desperate
There was a bloke on FB last year saying he was going to make a doc about The Fans, gone quiet since.
3 June 2015
flintlock
HMHB mentioned in this reappraisal of The Macc Lads.
Did they really use to “hang out”?
24 June 2015
CHARLES EXFORD
Fails to make the case, giving no evidence whatsoever for his apology for all their homophobia and misogyny. It is surely inconceivable that our lot would ever have willingly “hung out” with that mob, and if they were ever forced to for even a few minutes it certainly helps explain Nigel’s disgust with the things that ‘the business’ can force you to do, and withdrawal from it after 1986.
24 June 2015
steve nicholls
It’s possible that the Macc Lads piece in the Guardian could be some kind of in-joke.
Like that bit at the end of Fighting Talk on FiveLive where someone has to defend an idiotically controversial statement.
I remember Ian Gittins as a Melody Maker writer in the 80s. It’s hardly credible that he believes the Macc Lads were a pastiche/ironic act, rather than what they actually were: the Bernard Manning of pub rock.
24 June 2015
Frank Hovis
Which bands have arranged gigs to fit in with matches?
2 July 2015
Toerag
Question in today’s Guardian quiz; “What links, USA, USSR and DHSS?” Answer: “Back in the…”. Chuck Berry and Beatles songs, HMHB album title!
18 July 2015
EXXO
A fairly run-of-the-mill paean from a New Zealand-based poet apparently, which doesn’t fail to mention the Tube (minus fifty points right away) but the sentence “I like to think that if Adrian Mitchell hadn’t been shit or if John Betjeman had been working class they’d have been a bit like Nigel Blackwell” is a nice birthday present.
20 July 2015
Frank HOvis
“cynical and misanthropic“?
26 July 2015
Bobby SVARC
THE ability to spot a minor grammar error is proof that you are amazing, it has been confirmed.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that people who loudly exclaim about apostrophes and ‘who versus whom’ are actually better than everyone else.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “In no way are any of these people vain, arsey pedants.
“Grammar perfectionists are both intellectually and morally superior to other types of human.
“The way they selflessly dedicate themselves to correct punctuation, for example by pointing out to the staff of a chip shop why the term ‘chip’s’ is a sloppy obfuscation, confirms they are bold and righteous individuals.
“If grammar people just learned to let things go sometimes, where would we be as a civilisation? Just fighting in mud, probably.”
56-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “Heaven forbid that my scrupulous attention to linguistic detail should be driven by intellectual vanity.
“The reason I loudly vocalise my frustration about a writer confusing ‘that’ and which’ is because of my passion for good English.
“It’s not that I want a crowded room to know how clever I am.”
43-year-old pedant Mary Fisher said: “So we are ‘generally better’? Better than whom? Better is a relative term.
“But perhaps you didn’t know that.”
29 July 2015
EXXO
An old mate of Mrs. Exford’s, at about 18 mins on this video of a live performance, sums it up with his anthem “I’m not arrogant… I’m genuinely better.”
(you might like quite a lot of his routine in fact Mick)
http://www.mickypkerr.com/comedy/
29 July 2015
Dr Desperate
It’s not who you know; it’s whom.
29 July 2015
Bobby SVARC
Good, Exxo. Have you seen Mike Garry? Saw him in town a few years back.
29 July 2015
dickhead in quicksand
@DrD the Lyrics Project has always striven to make, and thriven on, emendations like that.
30 July 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Re: Comment 758 above, Ian Gittins replied on Twitter:
“Sorry, only just saw this… Maccs told me years ago they were matey with HMHB. Maccs were far smarter than they pretended.”
11 August 2015
EXXO
I don’t think any of us were doubting that he’d heard the claim from one of their mouths.
We were (and still are) doubting that the claim is true.
Having one or more members of your band having to be nice, or sociable, with people you don’t respect is one of the drawbacks of the music biz. Like any biz. And is a reflection of one reason why HMHB aren’t in it.
12 August 2015
Bobby SVARC
I’ve had a bit of a spring clean on the Probe website just in time for Christmas.
Have a gander, The discogs section took a bit of research.
http://probe-plus.co.uk/index.php
19 August 2015
EXXO
Great stuff Mick. You can tell folks you’re a cultural historian now too, and that’s sure to impress them.
But we can only wonder what Brenda and the Beachballs Volume 2 would have been like.
20 August 2015
Bobby SVARC
Thanks Exxo. I’m still 1 album and 2 singles’ info missing, I have the name for the Album wich is “Mr Amir – Compilation” but no tracklist but the 2 singles have disappeared off the face of the earth. I’m quite into Ex-Post Facto at the moment.
20 August 2015
Dr Desperate
Tom Robinson just played ‘Eno Collaboration’ as part of his R6M ‘Now Playing’ David Byrne/Brian Eno playlist. I’d emailed him earlier to ask for it, but it was apparently the most-requested track of the night, and was eventually credited to a “Mrs Gin”. Anybody?
23 August 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Well it wasn’t me, but are you sure it wasn’t credited to “Misses gin” (like e.g. the late QE the QM)?
Not in-the-media or a PBR – but some top top CIF trolling here imao. I bet it all flew over OP’s head.
23 August 2015
nigel
Seven Psychopaths is on Film 4 on Saturday night at 23:10
7 September 2015
Dr Desperate
Managed to get a mention of Glasgow gig tomorrow on Marc Riley R6M tonight. 7.42 or thereabouts.
(Oh, no clip? Thought we had a clip.)
10 September 2015
Third Rate Les
Latest copy of Viz includes a fantastically grim tale of an air stewardess selling crisps and duty-free on a WW2 bomber getting shot down over Germany. One of an intermittent series which included perhaps the funniest-ever Viz cartoon featuring the Battle of Normandy and the actions of the platoon’s aromatherapist and Feng Shui expert, crawling out into no mans land to dispense arnica to limbless dying men.
Anyway, it includes a tube of “Sour Cream and Chive” Pringles. At a cost of £8.50. I could hear the crowd howl in disapproval.
Not as funny as it used to be, mind you.
17 September 2015
Frank Hovis
In at number 5 http://metro.co.uk/2015/09/27/20-things-youll-only-know-if-you-grew-up-in-liverpool-5404742/
27 September 2015
Dr Desperate
NB10 appearing on Liz Kershaw’s show again next Saturday (10.10) – let’s hope she’s a bit better informed this time.
On the plus side, it appears the band are currently touring.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06h1n83
2 October 2015
TAYLO
I’m delighted to announce the arrival of The Ginger Biscuit (as nicknamed by NB10 himself) as Loop gave birth to James Jordi Edward Felix Taylor on 2/10/15 (although he will be known as Jimmy). The day we found out was the day of the Edinburgh Liquid Rooms gig last January so Jimmy has already appeared on stage with HMHB as Loop played Tenor Horn and Bass that night!
4 October 2015
EXXO
Congratulations Phil & Victoria!
Just make sure any Lego you buy him is the real plastic stuff though, none of this trendy wooden stuff, ‘cos you wouldn’t want his chums teasing him in future with that Undertones song, would you?
4 October 2015
Dr Desperate
Congratulations here too!
(Wooden Lego or not, can’t see anyone daring to tease Big Jimmy Taylo, Big Jimmy Taylo…)
4 October 2015
paul f
I haven’t listened to Liz Kershaw in a long time (including missing her previous interview with Nigel) but in looking her up on iplayer in anticipation of next week, I saw she was speaking to Ian McNabb this week, so thought I’d give that a listen. What an absolutely unlistenable pile of crap, saved only by the occasional excellent musical selection. Very sad that her brother’s complicated personal life (largely) keeps him off the national broadcaster whilst his frequently tongue-tied sister continues to get a gig.
5 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
That truly dreadful Liz Kershaw interview needs to be archived somewhere, like YouTube. NB10 evaded explaining why he didn’t visit the studio for it. Understandably, on both counts.
Interesting that he plugged Sunshine for LFC2015. You know your duty.
Query: so, then, how many times have HMHB played as a six-piece?
7 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Are you talking about the 2012 Liz Kershaw interview, DiQ? If so, that’s on YouTube. Or have you had a preview of the forthcoming interview?
7 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
It appeared on iPlayer, so I thought the interview was new. But, it seems to have been the old horror. Hold onto your sickbags for the new one.
7 October 2015
paul f
Conference call just cancelled so filling the time with this site (as I often do). Don’t know where else to post this, so I am putting it here. I had noticed on the site’s equivalent of the sidebar of shame (or “twitter” as I believe it is known) CtSO’s soul-baring catalogue of his last 10 years of listening habits. It struck me very hard that if you had blanked out a random artist in the top 20, I’d have laid good money on the artist behind the blank being Elvis Costello. Mr McManus appears to me a very surprising omission from that particular list of 100 artists. Even his missus is in there.
You’re right. He appears to be at no.191 between Joan Baez and Elton John. Curious. – CtSO
8 October 2015
Dr Desperate
(Sigh)
Well that wasn’t very good, was it? For anyone who didn’t hear NB10 on Liz Kershaw yesterday it’s here.
Ten minutes earlier you could hear a phone-in with Chris from Sheffield (anybody here?) who said he’s requested HMHB songs on the show many times, but only achieved success with Boney M’s ‘Rasputin’.
11 October 2015
Dr Desperate
Asked by LK what he does when a really great turn of phrase comes into his head, NB10 answers: “Well, no, I usually read it somewhere else and then write it down, that’s generally what happens. But, y’know, the key is to read it in obscure places so people don’t realise you’re ripping it off or robbing it, y’see, that’s generally the rule of thumb. But obviously people end up doing that, so you do get exposed as a charlatan in the end.”
Might CtSO consider changing the strapline from ‘Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow’ to ‘Exposing Nigel Blackwell as a a charlatan since 2007’?
11 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
It was utter tripe. I would say that was recorded 2 weeks ago.
11 October 2015
Nigel
To be fair, it was always going to be a bit of a non event. Nothing to promote album or tour wise and not the world’s most incisive interviewer
11 October 2015
John anderson
She really is quite astonishingly terrible isn’t she?
11 October 2015
toastkid
I seem to be alone in thinking this is a good interview. LK is definitely a bit of a duffer and can on occasion seem to be completely clueless, but not in this instance i think: i’d say it’s one of the better Nigel interviews i’ve heard.
12 October 2015
toastkid
Also, belated congrats to Taylo and Loop :)
12 October 2015
alan
Kershaw Ho, what a let down, what a let down
12 October 2015
Phyllis Triggs
I’m with you on this one Toastkid. Like others on this site, I’m no fan of LK, but tolerate her show occasionally because she plays some good stuff and I have to respect her enthusiastic (tho sadly annoying) appreciation for the music she plays. I this case, given that the interviewer has all the subtlety/finesse/sensitivity of a labrador puppy and that the interviewee has an impressive 30 year run of shunning the music industry publicity machine, I reckon the interview went much better than could be expected. Nigel came over as relatively relaxed and affable. In these days of hyper image-awareness, polished plasticity and spin, his genuine and unabashed enthusiasm for Crossroads was a joy to hear. True to form he deflected any attempts to get him to talk about himself/his songs directly – but at least LK didn’t try to push the issue like she did in the last interview I heard (which, I think, was when JDOG was voted listeners favourite song – can’t actually bring myself to check up on this, so painful is the memory…)
One question I would have loved a more detailed answer to was when LK asked about the inspiration behind Teenage Bride. Nigel replied that it was just something he’d got written down in the back of his book. Now I remember, some years back, being moved to laughter and tears by a report on one of the regional news programmes – either Granada Reports or North West Tonight – about a lady reaching her hundredth birthday. This one stuck with me because despite her incredible age she seemed so full of life and humour, and judging by the wicked glint in her eyes, old age was a long way from killing off her spirit. She said she always walked under ladders cos it stopped her getting hit by a bus, and she may even have said that at 21 she got a divorce (admittedly this bit could be false memory-syndrome on my part). Did anyone else see this? I’d love for it to be corroborated. I think they even played clips from this report when she died a year or so later. I like to think that Nigel saw this and was similarly moved by it and that the old lady’s words ended up in one of his songs. If so, I’m sure she’d have been tickled pink!
12 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
How can any true Crossroads fan forget Hugh Mortimer? He was often to be found propping up the bar in the Moores Arms, Norton Juxta Twycross.
12 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Er… this.
12 October 2015
paul f
Not the band, but it was heartening to see that Geoff got a namecheck in the early chapters of Elvis Costello’s book (out this week) in relation to the original Clarence Street location where young Declan used to shop for records during his Merseyside years.
20 October 2015
alan
not long now before storms are called Kevin
21 October 2015
Damon
Danny Dyer quotes Corgi Registered Friends here.
21 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
The fine folks at BBC Radio Lancashire’s “On The Wire”, who brought us the “It’s A Clear Day” session recently, have now also provided a recording of a complete, two-hour show from 2009 given over entirely to Geoff Davies talking about his career and the history of Probe Plus Records. It’s a great listen.
22 October 2015
Nige
From BBC text on today’s test match
Pak 100-3 (Wood 6-1-15-0)
Posted at 10:08
The chat of Cricket Boy Bands has led the live text desk to discuss the best songs ever written about cricket. I’m told there’s a rude one about Fred Titmus by Half Man Half Biscuit. For me, the absolute best is Justin Langer by Australian band Telemachus Brown. Look it up. Wood continues with England’s iron-straight line, getting short leg Jonny Bairstow yelping when Misbah flicks at a leggy one. Nothing doing.
22 October 2015
Chigley Skin
Re: Danny Dyer and Corgi Registered Friends (Damon’s post), am I alone in thinking there’s a difference between someone quoting a HMHB lyric without attribution (even in the media) as a deliberate in-joke for others in the know, and someone blatantly rewording a couple of Nigel’s jokes to pass them off as their own? I know Dyer’s the king of bad wools, but that’s some cheek from him.
22 October 2015
Damon
Yeah Chigley Skin I thought exactly the same, I realised as soon as I posted it that I should have said ‘rips off’ rather than quoted but I was knackered and on my way to bed, I did make it clear in the comments section under that post where the words came from though after someone posted ‘Lol he has a way with words he cracks me up’ or something similar.
22 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
They’re wheeling out the Navjot Singh quotes on TMS this morning. “There’s light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an oncoming train which will run them over” caused particular hilarity.
23 October 2015
Richard k
In fairness to Dyer (really?) NB10 himself is an unrepentant borrower – “why does the winner of Mr Universe always come from Earth” just one example of a joke I remember from my distant youth. So I don’t think he’d be too harsh on him, unless he had to watch one of his films.
23 October 2015
paul f
I’m sure he’s heard that somewhere else – and if he did hear it directly from HMHB then he has just moved up several notches in my esteem.
23 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
It would be nice to think he’s a fan of the band, but I suspect he got it straight from the horse’s mouth, i.e from Robert Lowell.
23 October 2015
Dr Desperate
Steve Lamacq played ‘The Len Ganley Stance’ on the R6M Friday Free For All this afternoon, apparently in response to a lot of people requesting it as a snooker-related National Anthem on Monday.
Make of that what you will.
23 October 2015
Cygnus
A brief mention of the lads last night on BBC 4; I caught the last 20 minutes of a compilation of various acts performing Dylan songs (it was probably a repeat so apologies if mentioned already), the programme closed with Bob himself singing With God On Our Side and a caption mentioned the HMHB parody, I was more than mildly impressed.
7 November 2015
Hazelsound
Pleased to hear Sleaford Mods play Reflections in a Flat on 6 Music last night. It was a nostalgia thing for one of them – he’d clearly loved it at the time. Someone should let them know how brilliant later stuff is too…
7 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
I’m currently writing a book called “Once Upon A Time There Was A Spion Kop” it’s all about Leicester City fans in the sixties and seventies. The chapter about Liverpool (we had many happy get-togethers with these friendly chappies back then) is now officially called, “When you walk through a storm, you get wet”. A reference to the 1963/1969 cup meetings, one which was played in a monsoon and the other, a very draughty coach journey back to Leicester.
7 November 2015
Cygnus
Thanks for putting the link in Chris :-)
7 November 2015
Mr.X
This last week my memoir about my life with with autism was released. It is entitled “I’ve Got A Stat For You-My Life with Autism”. The book is available to buy from Amazon (any technical fault with the paperback should be sorted within 24 hours); Bennion Kearny; Book Depository; or Waterstones (don’t be put off by the not in warehouse sign on the website, it should be delivered within a week).
Needless to say there are dozens of HMHB references in the book that have beaten the edit of my publisher. I have also been on BBC Radio Four’s Today Programme, where I was interviewed by John Humphrys, and I was also interviewed on BBC Radio Five Live Afternoon Edition by Sarah Brett and Dan Walker last Monday. I am on at around two hours, twenty minutes in.
Sorry if this just seems like promoting my book, but it does contain at least a dozen HMHB references, as the lyrics are tenuously mentioned by myself on a daily basis and in the book.
8 November 2015
Warwick hunt
play.bbc.co.uk/play/pen/gfj1wlzp9l
Q.13 – some of you might know the answer to this.
9/15 for me. Not the reigning county champion I fear. Some rather obscure references for the Beeb.
13 November 2015
paul f
9/15 which is not bad when frankly (Mr Shankly) I guessed most of them. But I am intrigued at the thought of a throbbing gristle spatula.
14 November 2015
schoon
6/15 and I only knew one answer.
14 November 2015
EXXO
The obvious Biscuit reference book-ended a report by Geoff Bird on ‘You and Yours’ today – about 20:20 and 27:20 http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06p7b7v#play
the second mention showcasing Winnifred Robinson’s delightful Everton Valley /dju:klə/
16 November 2015
EXXO
Found a pdf of a student mag which briefly on page 15 kind of reviews HMHB’s first London gig (4th Feb1986)
If I don’t post it here I’ll lose it
http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1986/1986_0730_A.pdf
(Some youtube clips of the gig are linked on the pages for some of the BitDHSS lyrics on here, and are filmed from more or less exactly where I stood, which feels uncanny).
17 November 2015
Chigley Skin
Exxo, have you read the letters page of that student paper? It’s absolute gold! The one about ‘Cave Canoe Football’ on page 3 reads like one of Nigel’s classic missives:
“Dear Ed, I am glad to see that at last minority sports are getting a mention in your wonderful rag. I am, of course, referring to last week’s article on Cave Canoe Football. Although not a popular sport, it is one in which Britain can hold its head up high and say we are number 1, unlike so many others.
Despite the very exciting prose, the article did in fact fail to make a few things clear. Firstly CCF is not an all male sport but one for both sexes, and if it were not for a bad knee the team would undoubtedly have had a female geologist in the side. Next, the sport is not as dangerous or vicious, despite Morris ‘The Refrigerator’ Culclough’s unforgivable behaviour, as made out.”
Seriously, if the next album doesn’t contain at least one reference to Morris ‘The Refrigerator’ Culclough and his ungentlemanly conduct in the arena of Cave Canoe Football, there’s going to be some serious disappointment in this corner of Chigley.
17 November 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
I was especially taken by one of the small ads:
“Sex and Drugs and Rock’n’Roll
Become an aspiring international rock star and impress the girlies. The meanest, sleaziest big bottomed rock band around requires a drummer, lack of ability essential.”
Play one the drummer knows … you can guess the rest.
17 November 2015
EXXO
The full running order of that life-changing Peel show 30 years ago tonight.
You won’t need reminding that HMHB have always stuck to the principle of only playing new stuff in the radio sessions; this was the first time we had heard any of these songs, and we couldn’t buy them for a few weeks yet.
http://peel.wikia.com/wiki/20_November_1985
20 November 2015
EXXO
Oh and just ‘cos Chris previously mentioned that you had only my word for it, here’s the r.o. of the show on the even more life-changing evening when HMHB got their first ever airplay … at the wrong speed at first, naturally enough.
http://peel.wikia.com/wiki/22_October_1985
20 November 2015
Rob S
Last Saturday’s edition of The Saddler, Walsall FC’s programme, includes another in their ‘The Person Behind…’ features, this time a profile of manager Dean Smith.
Favourite music artists:
1. U2
2. Stone Roses
3. Bob Dylan
4. Half Man Half Biscuit
5. Elvis Presley
I wonder whether he’ll be at Bilston in December?
The match:
Walsall FC 1-1 Sheffield United
Another fine display from the Saddlers again on Saturday, but we need to be closing these games out – too many draws for the automatic promotion spots? Promising Man City loanee George Evans is staying until January, which is good news. It’s to be hoped that limited financial resources don’t mean our best performers are on their way elsewhere come January.
24 November 2015
EXXO
Our friend Attila the Stockbroker has written a rip-roaring autobiography which of course contains several glowing mentions of HMHB, who he regards with the awe of a devoted fan. Alas no revealing anecdotes about them, though there are many, many great stories about other bands and episodes from his amazing, brave life on the edge. Here’s a nice review of it:
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=50949
It would make a great Clashmas present for any old punk or anti-fascist mate of yours.
Have had the privilege of seeing Attila many many times but on this current tour he’s on his best form ever, and the gigs just keep on coming. This list starts with an appearance on 6Music today – Saturday 28th Novemeber.
NOVEMBER
28 Guest on Tom Robinson’s 6 Music show circa 9.30pm
29 LONDON New Cross Inn – ‘LONDONWICK’ (3pm-10.30pm) with my band Barnstormer, The Piranhas, The Tuts, Thee Faction, the premiere of the documentary, TV Smith and Janine Booth
DECEMBER
3 LONDON Islington Folk Club
11 KETTERING Three Cocks
12 BELPER Queen’s Head
13 WELLINGBOROUGH The Horseshoe
14 HASTINGS St Mary in the Castle supporting Mark Thomas at a benefit for Hastings Furniture Recycling
JANUARY
24 BELFAST Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival
28 HEBDEN BRIDGE Fox & Goose
29 NEWCASTLE Butterfly Cabinet
30 SCARBOROUGH Corporation Club
FEBRUARY
6 LONDON Clapton Wanstead Tap
10 BARNSLEY Lamproom Theatre
11 LEICESTER The Musician
20 WORCESTER Lamb & Flag
21 BATH The Bell (1pm)
25 NEWPORT (Isle of Wight) Quay Arts Centre
MARCH
5 WAKEFIELD With Banners Held High festival
My own favourite page in the book is when he’s out fishing, the night his record is first played on the John Peel show, and he nearly falls in the harbour when it comes on his little transistor radio. Keep on keeping on Attila.
28 November 2015
Mr.X
Stuart Maconie referenced “Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess” this afternoon on BBC 6 Music’s Radmac in a discussion about bad losers.
8 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
The end is Nige: why the name Nigel is rightly doomed – but including a mention of NB10 and HMHB.
11 December 2015
nige
It’s even worse if you live in Swindon and the local radio stations like to celebrate local “celebrity pop stars”
11 December 2015
EXXO
As many of you know, I’m another ‘peak’ Nigel from mid-63. That thing everyone said to us from about 79-83 was made slightly better by the fact that (i) it was one of my favourite records and (ii) it gave the chance to get straight into conversations about music, especially with American indie girls at college (well Ok, they were ‘new wave girls’ then).
I’ve sent that article to me mum. She still doesn’t understand why it didn’t work.NB10’s mum probably doesn’t either, but I hope it (the article) would make her proud…
13 December 2015
Bobby SVARC
http://www.probe-plus.co.uk
17 December 2015
EXXO
Not really HMHB-connected, but sad news that lovely man Mick Lynch, frontman of Stump, died today. Stump I know from talking to Mick a fair bit around 86-87 were inspired by HMHB’s Peel coverage and ‘success’ shortly before that time, and although Mick and his record company (unlike HMHB and Probe Plus) did court that success a fair bit, he was not in any way affected, unnatural or in any way wanker-ish. Quite the opposite. Top bloke.
Louderthanwar.com
Eveningecho.ie
17 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
“And behind your duodenum are your kidneys, and between them they take the piss out of the other places.”
Sad news indeed about Mick Lynch. He was a lyricist of considerable genius.
18 December 2015
EXXO
There’s an absolute tear-jerker of a home-made video online, well it’s tear-jerking for me who just slightly and briefly knew him for a bit. It seems that about a year and a half ago his band mates set out to find him for a reunion. Unable to make any contact by phone or other means they drive to Cork and one of them films on his phone as they search all the pubs through the afternoon til they finally find him in Fred Zeppelins. And then the filming stops and it’s only stills of them all having a drink together, with Mick’s beaming,time-worn face. At no point is there any explanation as to why they went and sought him out, there’s no intro or outro, no goodbyes. But it looks now that they must have heard reports about Mick’s health and just wanted to be with him for one final encore after many, many years apart.
It makes me think about all the casualties of the ‘chew you up and spit you out’ music business, and the wise choices hinted at in ‘Mileage Chart.’ Not chasing ‘success’, with the almost inevitable crashes and burns, and the collateral damage to relationships, is precisely what has enabled HMHB to quietly carry on being friends and producing genius songs after all these years, and for the lyricist to somehow miraculously still make a living from doing the minimum. A work of art in itself, when if all the required miles had been done, even ‘back home’ could have become a lonelier place, as perhaps it was for Mick Lynch.
18 December 2015
peter mcornithologist
Very moving Exxo. And Jeff although my memories of Stump are murky,I shall always recall Charlton Heston (q.v ) with great joy.
18 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
HMHB on “The Chain”…
5 January 2016
EXXO
That’s definitely the full six Chris – every one ever is on that chap’s ‘fabulous’ site. I remember being gobsmacked that there were only five, and then there were six. Surprisingly few have featured, given how many suggestions of the lads’ tracks they must surely receive.
My theory is that often the producers can’t be arsed checking little-known HMHB tracks for swearing. Most of their music files will be labelled if it’s sweary but for some reason I think they’re wary of HMHB cos it isn’t all labelled maybe, or cos they’re typical BBC prats who aren’t sure what’s regional swearing and what isn’t. Like I remember Janice Long getting NSD past her producers for a debut play in ’08, way before its release, but then it’s never been played on the Beeb since … I think? Maybe they’d neglected to ban the word ‘shite’ until after that?
5 January 2016
parsfan
I regularly request Biscuit songs on BBC Radio Scotland’s Get It On and have had the same thoughts about why they never get played.
My one and only success has been JDOG and that was only because Vic Galloway was standing in that day. He played NSD as well on his own show just after it came out, but without mentioning the title.
6 January 2016
TOASTKID
I always thought with NSD that you could call it National Shy Day and most people wouldn’t twig.
6 January 2016
EXXO
@ Nige (comment 829), linking with the RadMac ‘Chain’ theme. I realise there can sometimes be more than one HMHB fan per town, but you’re not by any chance chainmeister ‘Reg in Swindon’ are you? Another fine choice from him yesterday.
7 January 2016
nige
Not guilty m’lud
7 January 2016
paul f
NSD has managed to crack the top ten of readers’ suggestions for an English national anthem in the Guardian.
13 January 2016
EXXO
So, with reference slightly to comment 800 above and more so to the final paragraph of the article referred to in comment 828 … I think that we can be increasingly hopeful it won’t happen this winter …and am I right in thinking that if it doesn’t, they’ll spare us and move on to another name for next year’s ‘N’ ?
14 January 2016
PaddY
Front page of Sunday Telegraph TV and Radio supplement, reviewing the Rack Pack mentions the Len Ganley Stance.
17 January 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Photo anyone?
17 January 2016
aiwacat
Can’t do a pic, but the review is here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/12103606/the-rack-pack.html
17 January 2016
Dr desperate
Cult comedy rock outfit.
17 January 2016
dickhead in quicksand
RIP Dale Griffin, drummer in Mott the Hoople and producer of the four 1985-90 HMHB Peel Sessions.
19 January 2016
surprised of anglia
Was it wishful thinking on my part, or did I hear the Barmy Army singing Petty Sessions on TMS at about 9.40 this morning? Hard to make out the lyrics as a former England captain was summarising loudly over the top.
22 January 2016
knackered man
Rad Macs afternoon Radio 6 Show on Weds (20th Jan).
They’d just done the ‘Tea-time theme-time’ feature and the final record was Arthur Brown’s ‘Fire’. Mark was saying after about how he’d much prefer to hear ‘The crazy world of Arthur Lowe’. I don’t know if this was a deliberate nod to Mate of the Bloke, but Mark & Stu are both fans of Biscuity tunes, so it’s poss. My guess is that he’d heard the song at some time and it was sparking around in his subconscious, ready to emerge at an appropriate moment.
The Tea-time theme-time link was Earth-Wind-Fire if anybody’s interested, though can’t remember the other tunes.
22 January 2016
Dr desperate
Marc Riley just played False Grit on R6M, and commented that UFO was The Guardian’s best album of 2014, despite the fact that that they’d never reviewed or even mentioned it. Wikipedia may have been involved.
3 February 2016
paul f
Technically, the Guardian readers’ best album of 2014.
4 February 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Not sure this if this has been posted before, but an early mention in “Smash Hits” (maybe not their most accurate piece of journalism ever) by the guys who are scanning every issue and putting them online:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51106326@N00/22616849530
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51106326@N00/22816041531
12 February 2016
Dr desperate
Excellent find, and strangely topical with the recent demise of Sir Terry.
The TV chap in Santa Monica who’s curating the Smash Hits archive says there a handful of band mentions during ’86, so we may see a few more as their thirtieth anniversaries come round.
13 February 2016
Chris The Siteowner
From Lonely Planet: Vancouver. I shall try them next time.
Actually, it’s astonishing how many references there are to the band in books. Here are a large number of them.
25 February 2016
EXXO
Haven’t read ‘The Moravians in Labrador’, but it’s good to know they’re on our side.
25 February 2016
Dr desperate
Blimey, Chris, that’s a bit if a category crusher, and no mistake. Who knew that HMHB lyrics have been quoted by Charles Stross, Val McDermid and Fowler’s Modern English Usage? That Simon Pegg played drums in a band that covered HMHB songs at the Edinburgh Fringe? That joke No 881 in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book was “There used to be a band called Half Man Half Biscuit, but they broke up”?
25 February 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Talking of HMHB in the Media, just wait for next week’s New Statesman. That’s all I’m sayin’.
25 February 2016
Dr desperate
There may be something in The Big Issue after Holmfirth too.
25 February 2016
Mr.X
@CTSO The second book on that list you linked to, which is entitled “I’ve Got A Stat For You-My Life With Autism”, is actually my memoirs. By the way, there are plenty more references in there than just that one!
26 February 2016
bobby svarc
Lots of Biscuit references in my book too, ‘B8TESY – All over in a stroke’
26 February 2016
paul f
Surprised to see a Richard Littlejohn book in that list.
Less surprised to see him using the band’s name purely to make a very poor transphobic attempted witticism.
26 February 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Notice there seem to be a couple of references in the Belle du Jour books. Is Dr Brooke Magnanti one to add to the celebrity fans list?
(Yep – she got in touch about 4 years ago. It’s lost in the dim and distant discussions past (see above) but she did actually start a campaign to get DPAK to Christmas No.1 – CtSO)
26 February 2016
EXXO
Which lasted about a week before she was politely told not to bother thank you very much.
Future campaigners take note.
26 February 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Kudos to a subeditor for a headline in the Belfast Telegraph.
27 February 2016
dickhead in quicksand
And to one in the Sunday Times.
27 February 2016
dickhead in quicksand
21st Century Media relates how Bono’s 80cm x 100cm rear hatch fell off.
I was hoping there might be eyewitness reports of a strange light seen shining out of it, but alas! there aren’t any.
27 February 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Lavinia Greenlaw in the London Review of Books, missing the point.
27 February 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Uh-oh. Out tomorrow.
2 March 2016
dickhead in quicksand
“Pity the modern starlet. Be she steaming-hot pop-tart or reality-show show-off…” (continued page 94).
2 March 2016
TOASTKID
Print-only for that New Statesman article. Anyone a subscriber? Or, it’s the sort of thing one could probably photograph in a library.
3 March 2016
schoon
Julie Burchill writes in praise of Half Man Half Biscuit,
northern pop’s snarling satirists. What is ‘northern pop’, and should it be capitalized?
3 March 2016
EXXO
Come on then someone, scan this bastard pile of bollocks for us so we can all have a moan.
They don’t stock TNS on the island upon which I am currently stranded, without a load of mates, for work.
3 March 2016
nige
they don’t stock at my local shop, but there’s more of a call for “japanese fighting dog owners weekly” as it’s in the middle of a swindon housing estate (q.v.)
3 March 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
No longer “exclusive to the print edition”
http://www.newstatesman.com/culture/music-theatre/2016/03/how-half-man-half-biscuit-have-forged-career-mocking-middle-class
4 March 2016
paul f
Shouldn’t Nigel get half her fee for that, seeing as 50% of the article was made up of his lyrics?
4 March 2016
EXXO
Frankly … somewhat excellent, well done kidda, never doubted you. The last paragraph is one of the best things ever written about the band.
Only loses minor points for being unable to resist the old HAT [Holy Anecdote of the Tube]
4 March 2016
EXXO
I mean the fairly accurate half of the last paragraph of course, rather the one that implies that might actually do two successive gigs more than once every 2-3 years.
And isn’t it great that ‘Blood on the Quad’ gets an extended outing in her piece? Hopefully soon it will be available once again on CD to an extended public.
Got a feeling that the band will do alright in online sales as a result. Pity she never mentioned buying direct from Probe Plus.
4 March 2016
paul f
Do you mean the penultimate paragraph Exxo?
4 March 2016
paul f
Personally I found the reference to Blood on the Quad to be self-serving in the extreme, given that it is hardly representative of their broader work, but very representative of Burchill’s own hobby horses.
But maybe that’s just me being picky, given that HMHB and Burchill lie further apart in my personal regard than perhaps any two cultural phenomena.
4 March 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Yeah, in the upper bracket of “introduction to HMHB” articles. Wasn’t a nailed-on cert to be so. Thoroughly sympathise with the observation that “meeting your musical heroes is a dish best sampled cold, with a long spoon, alone with an imaginary conversation in a locked room”. People often ask what the band are like, to which I reply: “Even if I’d ever met them I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you, because I’d have spent the experience as a speechless gibbering idiot.”
I’ll add it to our list of articles about the band here (don’t forget, if you see any which aren’t mentioned, do add them).
4 March 2016
paul f
Stop being reasonable and fair. I can’t stand the woman and need my inbuilt prejudices confirmed.
4 March 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Not a single suggestion of “comedy group”, and quotes from some relatively obscure songs – good stuff; already added to a couple of Wiki articles and likely to be added to a couple more.
4 March 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Paul F I wanted to dislike it too, on the basis of the author, but it’s a good article, although I suspect any New Statesman reader coming to the band on the back of it may be disappointed that only a minority of songs are so overtly “political” and be bemused by homages to small Cambridgeshire towns, extended jokes about a missing comma, etc
4 March 2016
Jeff dReadnought
I’d say it’s a perceptive, well-observed article by someone who’s been writing about music for long enough to know what she’s on about. At the same time, I think she makes the typical (for her) mistake of confusing satire with loathing. Just because we don’t find Lenny Henry, Jo Brand, etc. funny, doesn’t necessarily mean we hate them (although I do have a strong personal dislike for Angus Deayton).
4 March 2016
paul f
Yeah well, that’s as maybe, but I see the self-professed “Queen of the Groucho” doesn’t quote from Uffington Wassail.
4 March 2016
Mr Ed
I went to the Central Library, but they told me the subscription was cancelled in 2013. That’s austerity for you.
But now I find I can read the full article here. It’s neither terrible nor terrific.
4 March 2016
Dr desperate
At least she didn’t mention the helicopter. I read all her stuff when she was a hip young gunslinger, but nothing since, until now. Shame Nigel didn’t spot her in the crowd at Bristol.
4 March 2016
Schoon
@Jeff but we do hate Lenny don’t we?
4 March 2016
paul f
@Dr D – you’ve missed some real unpleasantness.
eg http://peel.wikia.com/wiki/Julie_Burchill
4 March 2016
Jeff dReadnought
@Schoon Yes, alright, fair point.
The part I don’t like about her article is that she seems to think that NB has the same chip on the shoulder as she does, and is motivated by the same bile and “loathing”, which I would suspect is not the case. And I agree with Paul F that she misses the point about Blood On The Quad, too. I notice that she doesn’t quote the bit about it not being a class rant.
4 March 2016
EXXO
Well blimey, it’s a spectrum, isn’t it, and NB10’s many song voices don’t all tell it from the same perspective , do they? Sometimes mere satire, sometimes loathing. ‘Blood on the Quad’ is clearly a class rant, and in case you haven’t missed it, Nigel isn’t the landlord of a pub and never has been, so to accept the song’s denial at face value is not to understand the whole idea of ‘voices’ in narratives.
‘Blood on the Quad’ takes a Woody Guthrie tune about an amazing and undeniably laudable Nazi-slaughtering sniper heroine, and turns it into a brilliant ‘If’ – like fantasy of shooting fucking twats (and innocent people who happen to go to posh twat colleges). Now I don’t know if ‘If’ (whether ‘If’?) was one of NB’s favourite films when he first saw it, but it wouldn’t surprise me, that’s his era, one of his eras, of cinema. I’m the same age as him and I dreamt about ‘If’ (in a nice way) for many months after I first saw it. And I still fantasise healthily about shooting sprees in the posh schools and colleges I attended. Christ I used to have ****** fucking ****** in my sights most days at college. Anyone would have thought about killing him. Not least the *** [names redacted].
I don’t find ‘Blood on the Quad’ un-typical at all, just somewhere on NB’s spectrum, maybe not of protest songs if we accept what he said in that Radio Merseyside interview, but of moans and angry rants, some of which “reflect the views of the author”, some of which are just in character.
Students and tutors in further/higher education, as well as people you meet outside university colleges, tend to come off badly in Blackwell songs. In this one they get shot dead. Like I say, a spectrum.
Interestingly he once told me he feels he had a nothing-y sort of secondary school experience, learning little and just drifting away from it at 15, so you don’t find any anger in the songs about that. It was just nothing-y. I found him still quite an angry person when I first met him nearly 20 years ago, but he has mellowed a great deal I think.
His (Radio Merseyside show) denial of writing ‘protest’ songs is also because if you’re taking the piss out of people like Bono, you can’t go and do a Bono, or even risk being seen as doing a Bono, can you? Like he says in the Radio Merseyside interview (in effect), if you want to be Woody Guthrie (and he obviously really admires Woody Guthrie, and really sympathises with the viewpoint in the songs he chose), there’s some very, very long roads to walk. And he knows he can’t walk them, so he doesn’t talk the talk. Simple example. If you’re someone who calculates to the nearest £1,000 how FEW gigs per year you need to do to survive, because it’s all a bit of a palaver and it’s OK when you get there but you hate travelling and you hate being away from home (see ‘Mileage Chart’), you ain’t gonna get drawn into the whole political benefit circuit for free on top of the paid ones, are you? (and reading between the lines I assume that became an issue in 1986)
Let’s not forget, NB doesn’t do lots of things that other musicians do first and foremost because he CAN’T (and if you can’t, you don’t want to). Being seen in any potential way as a hypocrite is one of them. You guess that he’d once have quite liked to be a bit of a Woody Guthrie but accepts that he just doesn’t have it in him.
For a start on things he can’t do is (and one of my favourite quotes) he “hates meeting new people” …. that makes being a protest singer very difficult. As, one assumes, does being in a band with someone as cynical as Neil. So anyway, yes don’t worry this helps those of you who don’t plan meeting your hero any time soon.
Obviously Julie B. isn’t right about the pact to sell as few records as possible, but she’s nearly there – the pact to be flintily incorruptible about never ever doing any of the bullshit promotion business, and never ever doing what you don’t want to do or can’t do.
I’m rambling. But I love how all you 40-and-50-something fellas with nice jobs and pensions and not angry about anything are all so keen to believe that NB10 isn’t either, and take at face value his denial of protest, loathing, etc.
4 March 2016
Jeff dreadnought
Good points well made as usual Exxo, except that I would still argue that there is more to BotQ than just the class rant that it “sounds like” (in fact the landlord line is precisely what sets an HMHB song apart from the straightforwardly ranty punk bands that Burchill never warmed to). And the enduring popularity of NSD suggests that the anger in the songs has not in fact escaped the blissfully contented and serene 40 to 50 year-old blokes who voted for it. What seems to me to be missing from the interviews with NB10 (and arguably most of the time from the songs) is the rather vitriolic personal attacks on individuals that the author of the article is known for. We’ve all speculated at one time or another that a particular song is an implicit attack on, say, Morrissey, or Pete Doherty, or the singer out of Suede, but if you take the interviews at face value (and face value is sometimes all you have), you never get any sense of bitterness, or jealously or hatred towards any particular individual. Blackwellian anger is one thing, Burchillian loathing is another, and her article mixes up the two. But like I said before, that doesn’t mean it’s not an insightful and very thought-provoking piece.
5 March 2016
EXXO
Fair enough.
There’s so much to identify with in NB’s lyrics that we can all be a bit prone to thinking he must be someone who shares our outlook, so we can all have a tendency to be a bit ‘Mr. Spokesman’ when we talk about our interpretation of the songs …
Apologies for sweeping … maybe I’m just finally answering Third Rate Les’ ‘politics’ piece from years ago. I did feel that in that piece the fezzed one came across as trying to justify his own contended, no longer an angry young man, middle aged interpretation of the lyrics.
5 March 2016
EXXO
And as for those interviews, I agree that NB does do a lot of backtracking, downplaying the anger of the songs … almost as bad as me when I go on the internet pissed and get it deleted the next morning … but I know which one is the real me, deep down, and I think both of them represent the real NB10.
5 March 2016
duke of westminster
The Burchill article didn’t seem very insightful to me. Yes, it didn’t make the all-too frequent mistake of suggesting that HMHB’s output is made up only of comedy songs but the idea that they forged a career out of mocking the middle class is facile (facile ideas are, of course, Burchill’s stock in trade so it doesn’t surprise me that she misses the nuance and insight).
I wouldn’t say Blood on the Quad is a class rant. I don’t think it is one of their best crafted songs but it is fairly clear that the first verse sets up the idea that the narrator is someone who feels slighted by the treatment he received because he came from a less privileged background and will wreak his revenge in the future. The second verse reinforces this expectation. The final verse then provides the surprise “reveal” that actually the reason the narrator is intending to shoot or fantasising about shooting the people in the college is to increase sales at his pub.
The part of the first two verses dealing with the indignation felt by the narrator gives texture to the song that brings it to life but if the “purpose” of the song was simply to mock the middle class then there would have been a more noble motivation for the bloodshed provided in the final verse.
FWIW, I find the reveal at the end a bit unsatisfying. Either the pub landlord is proposing to undertake the mass shooting and thinks he can get away with it so that he is pulling pints for all of the bereaved or he is just having a happy daydream about what he would do knowing that he isn’t really going to kill anyone. If it is the former then the narrator’s insanity/psychopathy poisons the sympathy the listener has built up from the first two verses. If the latter is intended the words used seem a bit imprecise as they indicate that the cause (being the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetery trade) does actually produce the effect (“because”) of blood on the quad rather than it being only a fantasy.
6 March 2016
nige
Just looked at the print edition in Smiths – you’ll never get which photo accompanies the print version (well you might!!)
6 March 2016
Paul f
It occurs to me that if she is that big a fan, perhaps she is on here. She would almost certainly have come here to check her quotations of lyrics.
So who might be the likeliest suspects? Given her “complicated” personal life, “Third Rate Les” might be an appropriate moniker…
7 March 2016
TOASTKID
TL;DR, FWIW, etc – i quite enoyed that article.
7 March 2016
TOASTKID
And after enoying it, I proceeded to enjoy it. /Sigh/
7 March 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
In a world in which our heroes are little acknowledged, we have to be grateful for any article which shows a good degree of knowledge of the band – even if we don’t necessarily agree with the writer’s viewpoint.
As an example, Ms Burchill talks about how HMHB prefer to attack the pretentious middle class as opposed to “chav-baiting”. Really? When “the nation’s favourite HMHB song” (2015 edition) contains lines about “fat kids with sausage rolls” and “Primark FM” (not you’ll notice “John Lewis FM”). If those lines aren’t chav baiting, what is?
7 March 2016
Brumbiscuit
I don’t see those lines as chav-baiting, more an observational condemnation of a society that encourages people to stuff their faces at Greggs and to shop at Primark (I do, actually!). A triumph of the bland stylelessness over the meaningful.
7 March 2016
EXXO
Gosh GWA that seems like an unfortunate misunderstanding. There’s no way that line is condemning those who feed their kids sausage rolls or shop in Primark. Ask yourself for a start what the narrator is doing in Primark, where he hears the shitty Primark FM. He’s probably been sent to get something, by a loved one, because whatever it is, it’s cheap in Primark.
It’s like in all his condemnations of shit TV, Blackwell doesn’t condemn the viewers, in all his condemnations of unemployment he doesn’t condemn the unemployed.
Interestingly maybe the consumers that he condemns most often are music consumers, those standing in the middle of a long queue to buy their Dire Straits and their Annie Lennox while going to see Marianne Faithful and booking their Rat Pack tribute acts, though still nothing like as often as he pummels the shite musicians themselves.
But I do sort of agree that ‘pretentious middle class’ doesn’t sum up the targets exclusively, because a lot of what lazy reviewers of HMHB always describe as ‘middle class’ is in fact any anyone who goes a bit flash with ‘new money’ and shows off the new conservatory, tells you about the rat pack tribute act and the stretch limo they’ve booked for the wedding, the Caribbean beach, the hot air balloon and tells you where things are in B & Q, like you’re fucking interested. If they (the gullible, noisy new money) would just shut up about that shit, then the ire might well be reserved primarily for the more ‘pretentious middle classes’ like it is in say ‘Orme Ascent’, ‘Split Single’, ‘Totnes’, ‘Friday Night’ etc.
Yes, even his great condemnation of post-92 football culture in ‘Friday Night’ is a class thing, even his condemnations of ‘comfortable’ fake-angst bands in ‘Look Dad’, etc, are a class thing, while a song like ‘Totnes’ covers, as Burchill points out, a front-line, a fault-line, between down-to-earth honesty and wholefood pretentiousness, and it is clear which wins out – sausage rolls and pringles, not yer organic shite.
No, in key songs that are firmly rooted in the destruction of working class life ‘TUCOLO’, ‘Soft Verges’, etc, there’s no chav-isation of the shattered working classes whatsoever. Far from it.
************************************************************
Meanwhile @ Duke, all I can say is it doesn’t have to make sense. I see the ‘landlord’ coda as another piss-take of the whole ‘Why Mr. Kowalski’ style ‘reveal’ as well as a comic shoe-horning in of the kind of cemetery scenario that Blackwell loves (‘Wrong Grave’, ‘Restless Legs’, ‘Rita’, ‘See that my Bike’s’ Kept Clean’, ‘Gwatkin’). I’d wager it was probably an idea for a separate song entirely in his notebook, until he decided to tack it onto this one to debunk but not devalue the obvious ‘class rant’.
7 March 2016
featureless tv producer steve
Can anyone tell an Ignorant Yank what the “FM” part of “Primark FM” means? The world-wide interwebs have informed me that Primark is a huge European retailer (which apparently has recently come to the eastern seaboard of the US, but is still a long way from Oregon), but those interwebs are of virtually no assistance with the “FM” part. Can someone enlighten me?
8 March 2016
Brumbiscuit
‘Frequency Modulation’ is the technical answer. This harks back to the late-80s, when radio stations moved from crackly AM to the new-fangled FM. ‘96.4FM, BRMB’ being the jingle for my local radio station at the time.
Primark FM is, presumably, the non-existent, in-store muzak channel played in the downmarket clothing store. I’d imagine it would play those trashy covers of songs to avoid paying royalties to the trashy genuine artists. Think Take That.
8 March 2016
Chris The Siteowner
I suspect FTVPS knows what ‘FM’ is in that respect – there are nearly 10,000 FM radio stations in the USA, we’ve had ‘motion pictures’ and to some extent it’s become a synonym for ‘AOR’. It may be the idea of an in-store FM radio station which is confusing, and rightly so, because I suspect that one thing no in-store ‘radio’ station does is actually broadcast on public radio channels (using FM or anything else). Not that it’d stop any of them adding the glamour of ‘FM’ to their name, incorrectly.
8 March 2016
paul f
Correct Chris – I understand Asda FM (sic) has more weekly listeners than any other radio station in the UK.
8 March 2016
TOASTKID
Even more than BBC Radio 1 or 2? That can’t be true, can it?
8 March 2016
Chris The Siteowner
It would appear so. You could say that not every Asda customer is exactly hanging off every word the DJ says, but you could also say that about Radios 1 and 2. It turns out that Asda has a (claimed) 18M customers a week, and Radio 2 has a weekly listenership of 15M.
It doesn’t work on my Apple Mac, which clearly should be left in the Asda car park, but on other PCs, apparently, you can listen in now here.
8 March 2016
dr desperate
Radio 1 is now actually third in UK listenership, behind Radio 4. It changed its name to Radio 1 FM for a while in the 80s when the old police FM frequencies were made available to the BBC (prompting Danny Baker’s “Like FM is such a big deal” jingle).
8 March 2016
featureless tv producer steve
Thank you, Brumbiscuit and CtSO. And yes, CtSO, your point about in-store “radio” not being something that’s broadcast over the actual airwaves was what pretty much prevented me from thinking “FM” had anything to do with radio in this context.
8 March 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Exxo – I remain unconvinced. NB57/10 always chooses his words carefully (in my view) and the fat kids line – in a verse about things that make it “National Shite Day” is clearly meant to imply Greggs, which like Primark, has become a shorthand for “chav culture”. My real point however was that Burchill has got it wrong in seeing Nigel/the band as solely some sort of satirists of middle class pretension – their targets seem to me far broader than this, in that anyone who represents the War Against Intelligence (copyright MES) is fair game
8 March 2016
TOASTKID
All this “chav” stuff is really winding me up because surely Nigel would never ever use the term “chav”, due to it’s elitist and generally hateful connotations. To me, using the word “chav” instantly labels someone as a c*nt, although i admit that’s a strong position.
9 March 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Toastkid – I don’t like the term either, and was in the first post quoting Ms Burchill (who in her defence- words I thought I’d never write – was probably also intending the term to be taken ironically). I also used the phrase “chav culture” in quotes as a scare quote . Apologies if that wasn’t clear
9 March 2016
EXXO
I think we’re all agreed on that then. And yes, GWA, I agree that those sitting on walls spitting needlessly, dropping litter, on the ‘roids, eating sausage rolls, stealing their brothers’ giros, etc., represent a broad cross-section of society including some of what, before a decade of Thatcherism deliberately and maliciously destroyed it, was once the Merseyside working class. But no way do those lines in ‘Shite Day’ demonise.
So yes, good, job done.
9 March 2016
EXXO
PS – anyone know for sure that Mrs Toastkid isn’t called Julie?
(OK, I know, there’s probably more than one HMHB fan in Brighton)
PPS – NB10’s politics are a private thing but “more Owen Jones, less Owen Paterson” is something I think we can safely assume.
9 March 2016
dr desperate
Listening to this morning’s (though originally broadcast in 2014) episode of ‘Dilemma’ on R4, hosted by the irritating (though amusingly cigarette-named) Sue Perkins, heard Michael Rosen describe John Peel as “he liked that band Half Man Half Biscuit”. Which is undeniable.
11 March 2016
TOASTKID
GWA – yes, sorry if that came across as a little hostile! I knew that you and Ms Burchill weren’t guilty of being elitist scumbags. I think I overreacted to a trigger word.
Exxo – i can confirm from the horse’s mouth, as it were, that neither the previous or current Mrs Toastkid are called Julie.
11 March 2016
dr desperate
Either my varifocals have suddenly kicked in, or the font size here has just increased.
Nope – CtSO
21 March 2016
dr desperate
Oops, looks like I pressed Control + by mistake.
23 March 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Readers recommend playlist: songs that capture zeitgeist
24 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
Information from the Gaffer.
http://probe-plus.co.uk/index.php/news
24 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
Former Tranmere boss Johnny King as passed away after a long illness. I became attached to Rovers when I was building the Cow Sheds models. City beat them in the ’94 Div 1 play-offs semi, the year we beat Derby in the final. I’m sure many Leicester supporters will share in the sadness of the passing of a true football man. RIP
31 March 2016
EXXo
Great memories.
Neil’s season ticket is for The Johnny KIng stand of course so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.
Don’t bother building a model of that one but build a model of Neil so he won’t even need to go.
31 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
I’m thinking of building a complete Prenton Park when Phil Gee scored a snorter, that was my only visit to PP. Friday night and our end was full.
31 March 2016
EXXo
I’ll draw a picture of me watching that game on Ceefax 160 miles away, I remember it well.
31 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
I loved that Bukta kit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1OutQArfB8
31 March 2016
Peter mcornithologist
Canny goal that Bobby. Jamie Vardyesque one might say. Ps. The McOrnothologist family and the rest of Hartlepoolare rooting for you.
1 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Every model I build has a bit of Biscuit reference to it.
http://modelstadia.co.uk/index.php/this-year-s-model-the-carling-stand
9 April 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
Dig the dugout.
All you need now is the headless centre forward and a goalkeeper with no arms and a face like?….
9 April 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Readers recommend playlist: songs about schadenfreude in The Guardian, 14 April 2016
15 April 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
There’s a suggestion in that list that “Tending the Wrong Grave…” should also be in that list. Can only assume that the Guardian reader concerned had never listened to the lyrics. Now if the topic had been “Blackly comic songs about hopeless resignation in the face of overwhelming bureaucracy” I’d certainly have approved of the choice.
15 April 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Dear @CtSO – in your posting guidance could you add “Once you’ve hit submit you can’t edit the post, so maybe you should re-read it to make sure you haven’t repeated yourself or made some other grammatical or style error”?
15 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Who’s the Biscuit at the snooker? Wearing a ‘Motorway Sign’ T-Shirt
19 April 2016
dr desperate
Where’s the cue-ball going?
19 April 2016
G100
Just clocked the Biscuity snooker-goer too.
19 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Is it Exxo?
19 April 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
haven’t spotted the biscuit at the snooker yet, clocked a fella with a shit arm, bad tattoo though.
19 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Eurosport this morning.
Phill Studd – “There’s a man wearing a HMHB T-Shirt on the front row. They had a song called ‘Everybody’s doing the Len Ganley stance’……………….The had another hit with the classic ‘All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit’…….They’re an acquired taste”
Mike Hallett – “Taxi for Phill Studd”
Phill Studd – “Twat”
19 April 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
just clocked him.
19 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
I think he’s the white Garth Crooks
19 April 2016
EXXO
Why me, Mick? I don’t follow snooker … but I do play in the same Sunday League football team as the current world number 78 (who will probably go a lot higher than that over the next decade) and his dad, a former world number 42.
19 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
I was joking, The fella was rather on the large side. Is the player Martin O’Donnell?
19 April 2016
EXXO
Pete & Oliver Lines. Decent players. Not bad at snooker either.
19 April 2016
Harry the Dog
http://s374.photobucket.com/user/Tattva666/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG-20160419-WA000_zpsg4fmdwlc.jpg.html
It was me at the World Snooker Championships yesterday. Just before the match started, Rob Walker the warm-up guy asked me what my t-shirt was about. I said that they’re a great band, to which the learned Mr Walker replied ‘Never heard of them. They should throw you a few quid for the advertisment’. He then asked one of the camera crew to ‘Pass a note to the commentators, they’ll want to know that the guy’s t-shirt are a band’.
So there you go. I wore a Bisodol shirt on row B for two sessions the day before, but I had to do the motorway sign for the front row position. If there’s an extra hit on youtube for the lads as a result then it was worth the effort! :)
20 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Have you all got the shits?
20 April 2016
John Anderson
According to the Sunday Times Rich List 2016, the joint 548th wealthiest person in Britain is one Nigel Blackwell with a fortune of £195 million.
I didn’t realise the merch stalls were doing so well.
25 April 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
It’s no wonder the band can get by on half a dozen gigs a year. Does this mean however we should refer to him as NB548 in future?
25 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
“Oh I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom, when the brass band plays WE LOVE WEST BROM”
25 April 2016
Brumbiscuit
I’ll quote you on that wording, Mick…
26 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Did you see the photos of your old boy Grey in the press today? nearly lost a fight with a helicopter. In the photos, it looked like he’s freaked out and just ran as soon as the chopper landed.
26 April 2016
Cygnus
“Oh I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom, when the brass band plays WE LOVE WEST BROM”
Ah thank you so much kind sir but do love us enough to maybe swap managers for next season?
26 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Ha ha – is this the manager AKA “The Tinkerman” who couldn’t manage a whelk stall according to the nation’s “top” scribes and pundits?
(links added by CtSO)
27 April 2016
Cygnus
Absolutely loving Leicester this season; my best mate at school was from Cosby and a huge Foxes fan. Went to Filbert Street with him many times and much to his chagrin never saw The Baggies lose there. We lost touch many years ago but hopefully he’s still around to enjoy their success this season. Anyway I’ll have a pizza and a pint to celebrate your title – hopefully on Saturday.
27 April 2016
bobby svarc
Oh right, one of my best muckers is from Cosby, big Biscuit fan. Has the initials SK, not your mate, is it?.
28 April 2016
Cygnus
“Oh right, one of my best muckers is from Cosby, big Biscuit fan. Has the initials SK, not your mate, is it?.”
Sadly no, my friend’s initials are WD – he’d be well past 40 now though! Last I heard of him he was living in Tring, Hertfordshire..
28 April 2016
Warwick hunt
Just switched on the World Snooker final. Gideon Coe being interviewed by Hazel Irvine during the mid-session interval…namechecked the band and made reference to ‘Len Ganley Stance’.
Hazel laughed without really knowing why I fear.
2 May 2016
Alice Van Der Meer
I have never forgotten the morning that someone on 5Live unwisely read out a text, admitting that they had no idea what it meant, that just read “Hazel Irvine is a MILF”.
Nearly spat my tea.
2 May 2016
FLINTLOCK
I didn’t hear it properly because of being at work, but Radcliffe and Maconie have just been having a bit of argy bargy with Father John Misty, and it seems to have started with them trying to explain Joy Division Oven Gloves to him.
13 May 2016
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
You can listen to it here http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b079cp2k from 1hr 36 (unless you want to listen to the whole show).
13 May 2016
oolon Colluphid
mBan Jovi sounded interesting…
18 May 2016
Yan
Simon Mayo with Chatteris, again, on last weeks show. Quoted the first verse and then played the track which delighted Mark Kermode and has been added to the show’s playlist.
Brightened my day anyway.
25 May 2016
dr desperate
‘A Very British Odyssey’ by Peter Ross on p. 22 of this week’s Big Issue – May 30, clenched fist symbol on the cover – is probably the best piece I’ve ever seen (outside this site) about, well, us really. He totally gets it.
Somebody will probably scan it in eventually, but get a copy from a vendor if you can, or online here.
http://www.bigissue.com/the-mix/latest-issue/6636/issue-1207
30 May 2016
EXXO
Kinell I’d like to support the Big Issue and I love this week’s cover – could even frame it and save money on those expensive prints of Spanish Civil War posters – but £2.50? How did that happen? Has Osborne put a new tax on it or something?
30 May 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Excellent!
Note that if anyone is thinking of posting a scan online, do it elsewhere. The Big Issue has its heart in the right place, and any publication paying a proper journalist proper rates to write about Half Man Half Biscuit deserves what few extra sales we can get it. You know where to buy your copy.
30 May 2016
dr desperate
You may have difficulty getting hold of a copy if you live, as I do, in the Big Issue North catchment area.
This lies north of a line drawn from Hull to Stoke-on-Trent: an iso-Issue, if you will.
31 May 2016
EXXO
Talking of our dog, using his name enables me to sneak onto FaceAche anonymously every now and then to see what people are up to without ever having to get involved or f*ckin ‘like’ or ‘friend’ anyone.
The riffing here on The Referee’s Alphabet is another classy touch and I like (not ‘like’) the sound of this gang more and more:
https://www.facebook.com/Half-Arsed-Half-Biscuit-Irish-HMHB-Tribute-142505295780557/
Maybe when the Leeds fixtures come out mid-June we can get them over next season.
1 June 2016
dr desperate
Quite so. And the bassist’s t-shirt is the best NWA joke since ‘Straight Outta Trumpton’.
1 June 2016
dr desperate
Very similar to my own ‘Kick Out The MC5s’ (q v) Jam t-shirt.
1 June 2016
parsfan
Dr D, it’s in the Scottish edition so I guess it’ll be in all regional variations.
Well worth a read, even the bit about a retired doctor in a hi-viz jacket.
1 June 2016
warden hodges
Had a walk along Church St, Lpool today. BI sellers deffo not the same cover as the one shown on this site.
2 June 2016
dr desperate
This map shows the area covered by Big Issue North, including Liverpool and the Wirral peninsula (q v).
http://www.bigissuenorth.com/vendors
2 June 2016
Bobby SVARC
Great feature by Peter, nice one. I even received a complimentary copy that came through the post today.
2 June 2016
Phyllis Triggs
Chris, I agree it would be better to buy a copy but what about us poor souls up North? I’ve just resorted to buying a digital copy only to find that I can’t view it on either laptop (outdated flashplayer – laptop won’t let me upgrade) or phone (incompatibility). So they’ve had my money but still no cigar!
2 June 2016
bobby svarc
I would wager that HMHB fans have swelled the BI coffers handsomely over the last week. Most, l suspect, wouldn’t have bothered buying the BI had the story not have been in it. Can’t see the problem with scanning the feature and put it on this website. IMHO of course, I wouldn’t want Pop Tart Mark on my back.
3 June 2016
Thoughtless Shitehawk
Can confirm Big Issue North does not feature said article. On the plus side the vendor was very happy I bought it.
3 June 2016
Chris The Siteowner
For those of you palmed off with a regional edition, I am reliably informed that the article will be on the magazine website next week. So watch this space. Or indeed that space.
3 June 2016
dr desperate
In point of fact, it’s already downloadable (link at post 963 above).
3 June 2016
Rubber Faced Irritant
This is intriguing in a “where does the North (should that be capitalised?) begin? I was in York today, the town of my birth, and bought a copy replete with said article. Despite living in London for more than 30 years I still consider myself a Northerner. So how far North are/were you Mr Thoughtless? I may need to re-callibrate.
On an associated note, it was heartwarming to read comments and see pictures of various contributors to this site. I felt a swell of pride (stop that sniggering) even though you wouldn’t know me if you fell over me.
4 June 2016
dr desperate
Big Issue North was originally a Manchester offshoot of the London-based Big Issue magazine, which was founded in 1991 with funding from Gordon Roddick, husband of the late Anita (q v). It’s now an independent publication distributed in the North West and Yorkshire and Humber, with offices in Liverpool, Leeds, Sheffield and Hull and sub-offices in Preston and Kendal.
York does have eight Big Issue North vendor sites, but it seems Big Issue also has a presence there – let’s hope this doesn’t cause, you know, issues.
4 June 2016
Kenzo nagasaki
“Tending the Wrong Grave” got played on Radio 2 this morning. Ross Noble had it as his choice of song and described HMHB as “probably one of the best bands in the world”.
4 June 2016
Brumbiscuit
Thankfully Graham Norton had never heard of HMHB…
4 June 2016
Chris The Siteowner
OK folks, Peter Ross’ Big Issue piece is now online at their website:
HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT AND A VERY BRITISH ODYSSEY
6 June 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Those Half Man Half Bike Kit boys somehow found their way on to Radio 4’s You & Yours today…
8 June 2016
EXXo
Nearly every other day they have something that makes a pedant go “WTF is this programme? HTF is this about Consumer Affairs”
Today they had that from most listeners, and geographical pedants all over the land going “SinceWhenTF was Loggerheads in Derbyshire?” and from some Biscuiteers “Where TF does it say or even imply in fuckin’ ‘Chatteris’ that any market town in Cambridgeshire is ‘pretty’?”
[I hasten to add that I do think parts of Ely, St. Ives and Cambridge (yep, a market town) are pretty]
8 June 2016
Chris The Siteowner
OK, here’s something possibly a bit special for those of you going to the Edinburgh Fringe:
Some Men All Biscuit – A Tribute Show
“A tribute to Half Man Half Biscuit’s 30+ years in music. Fringe comedians perform their favourite HMHB track with a live band. Come and watch a possibly misguided attempt at homage as we pay tribute to the most underrated British band of the last three decades. One show only. All proceeds go to Shelter Scotland.”
Organiser Alexis Dubus emailed in to say: “Various comedians, including myself, will be performing their favourite track. So far it’s me, Seymour Mace, Phil Nichol, Josie Long, Paul McCaffrey, James Cook and Jonny & The Baptists. As you’ll see it’s on at the slightly awkward time of 3.55pm on Aug 17th as that’s the only slot we could get.”
Sounds intriguing…
9 June 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Luxury Yacht Magazine? Shouldn’t that be Throatwobbler Mangrove?
9 June 2016
gipton teenager
After the item on You And Yours the other day, surely the official name of all lollipop men is now Darren?
Also, as my true initials are TF, I would like people to stop SHOUTING at me like it seems EXXO is doing in post 985. Thank you for your co-operation in this matter.
10 June 2016
EXXO
If anyone’s thinking of starting a bespoke tribute gig video bootleg subscription service, I’d definitely pay a fiver for the likes of Half Arsed Half Biscuit and the Edinburgh tribute show, despite being someone who thinks that £2.50 for the Big Issue is a bit prohibitive and who only recently admitted that £2.35 for a big jar of Marmite was a bullet just about worth biting.
10 June 2016
EXXO
Talking of the ‘Big Issue’ though, it was a particularly fine issue and the Mark Thomas activism stuff was great. Saw him do a fine set about it at Attila’s little festival last weekend. At the end he was signing ‘Domestic Extremist ‘ tea-towels (that’s what his police file describes him as). Apologies to the bloke next to me in the audience beforehand who was too polite and tolerant of piss-heads to point out it’s Robin Ince who usually does that slot and that of course I realise you were right, Mark Thomas hasn’t played there before, I was getting him mixed up with Incey.
10 June 2016
Chris The Siteowner
The Big Issue article is now on the author’s website in presumably its original form with some slight differences.
14 June 2016
bobby svarc
I’ve read quite a lot of the features on his website ever since we met on the phone earlier in the year. He’s a fine writer but he is also a bit loopy, he spent the first ten minutes of our phone interview trying to convince me that Leicester would win the premier league, sillyy sod.
15 June 2016
me
daily star july 13th westward ho
i was promised a golden biscuit (600) after 548 but still waiting
http://www.lep.co.uk/whats-on/music/everything-s-not-aor-1-6485003
12 July 2016
POP-TART MARK
Barry Glendenning at The Guardian speaks too soon…
http://www.halfmanhalfbiscuit.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/image.jpeg
Then…
http://www.halfmanhalfbiscuit.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/image-1.jpeg
21 July 2016
dr desperate
That Edinburgh tribute show.
https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/some-men-all-biscuit-a-tribute-show
26 July 2016
calsyman
Listening to Afternoon Edition on Radio 5 Live today with Adrian Goldberg and Sarah Brett. They were doing a feature about what lengths people have gone to for their hobbies. This included tales such as one person who drove from Edinburgh to Cornwall and then Norfolk then back to Edinburgh all in 36 hours, just to catch a glimpse of some rare birds. Adrian then recalls the time when HMHB declined to appear on ToTP because Tranmere were playing at home. Sarah instantly says that ‘Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train is one of my all time favourites’. The end.
27 July 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Here’s an oldie but goodie which some kind soul posted on the Facebook group. From the Liverpool Echo, he says.
30 July 2016
Dave Wiggins
Indeed so. Peter Trollope was the Liverpool Echo’s much respected music correspondent throughout the 80s. Never ever gave a local act a bad review. He regularly championed my brother’s Aztec Camera copyists ‘Candy Opera’, as the new Beatles. Or, at the very least, a worthy successor to The Pale Fountains.
1 August 2016
dr desperate
Just a reminder in case anybody’s in Edinburgh this week, that the ‘Some Men All Biscuit’ tribute show is on tomorrow afternoon (Wed, 3.30pm) at the Voodoo Rooms. It’s free, non-ticketed. A video would be nice.
https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/some-men-all-biscuit-a-tribute-show
16 August 2016
POP-TART MARK
Hear, hear and a thousand times hear, guaranteeing a you thousand clicks on each and every video you publish (and that’s just from me) and a thousand thank yous. But only one beer.
Pop-Tart Mark (chapter 4, verse 5)
HMHB in the Media continues here…
16 August 2016