Thanks to John A, Dr D, Nick J, Rich P, Matt L, Peter T-M, Dave T and Martin H for their transcription contributions. This page originally published on 25 March 2022.
Don’t think deciphering the lyrics of this one will prove too controversial. But hey, what do I know?
25 March 2022
dr desperate
Love all the couplings here: Angel (Clare) & Tess (Durbeyfield), Mills & Boone, Tarzan (Terry) & June, Betamax & VHS, Freeview & Sky. Do they still do those letters you can stick inside your windscreeen?
25 March 2022
dr desperate
(of your Dormobile, I meant to say.)
25 March 2022
John Anderson
The “Oh Yes” at the end of verse two appears to be an impression of Eric Morecambe.
25 March 2022
featureless steve
Good to see the white horse getting a mention on this album, too.
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
Svetlana on her big white palfrey gets about a bit.
25 March 2022
woodnoggin
This one has some similarities to a song by Australian singer Darren Hanlon: ‘Beta Losers’ from his 2000 album ‘Early Days’. Both use Betamax and VHS as two sides of a relationship, although Darren takes the opposite approach to Nigel.
“The warranty expiry date has been and gone and no one even noticed But all our friends were there when you broke down Since when did our relationship become obsolete I’m sorry if I thought that the equation would always be you plus me Now I feel like I’ve been dumped but I’ve been superseded
You were the pride of every lounge room once But now you’ve found out that you’re worth nothing That you’re worth nothing
Now each of my arguments you laugh at but it’s still a superior format I might only have five videos to choose from but I can still tape off TV
And now I feel like I’ve been dumped I feel like I’ve been dumped What’s the difference between dumped and superseded?”
25 March 2022
Cody jaRrett
“Your Heroine upon a big white horse” has me puzzled. Has our hapless narrator’s belle swapped sides and entered a Sapphic relationship, thus requiring a divorce? Or has she spiralled into drug addiction (heroin, white horse, you can guess the rest)? Or is it bleedin’ obvious to everyone who’s actually bothered to read Hardy’s Durbeyfield tome and I simply need to Ed-you-Kate myself??
25 March 2022
FEATURELESS STEVE
The HMHB narrator has form with losing his female lover to a woman. ( Lord Hereford’s Knob )
25 March 2022
paul f
You have just transcribed my entire thought process about that line, CJ.
25 March 2022
BATWALKER
Guess you can finally remove the “we’ll be adding these at our own pace” notice. Where do we think “here” is? The obvious answer is a hospital, or perhaps hospice, but do those places offer a choice between Freeview and Sky?
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
My assumption was that it was sheltered flats for the elderly.
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
I also think the song seems unequivocal that she left him for a woman (i.e. we’re back in Lord Hereford’s Knob territory).
25 March 2022
CHRISTIE MALRY
My first thought was that they were both in prison, awaiting execution – as is the fate of Tess at the end of the book (and she is swiftly replaced in Angel’s affection by her sister Liza-Lu.) It’s a long time since I last read it, but I wonder if the ‘big white horse’ is in there somewhere, perhaps the horse that dies at the start, triggering the tragic chain of events which follows.
25 March 2022
Cody jarrett
I think TFoKeith has it right. In their dotage, and purely by chance, these erstwhile star crossed lovers ended up in the same Sunnyside Nursing Home or Sheltered Accommodation , albeit on different floors and with varying TV contracts. (Presumably she’s self funding whilst he’s council). Presumably the Unicorn that tore them asunder has scarpered, leaving her suitably single, hence his desire for some senior action to recapture the glory days
25 March 2022
Tc, idris
This was an early favourite, and I actually welled up a bit at the final verse. I have to admit I didn’t get the Hayley Mills/Daniel Boone reference at first but now it’s been explained to me, it’s a perfect 8 word couplet which conveys oceans.
I’ve played out various scenarios in my mind but I’m drawn to the interpretation that the ‘here’ referred to is a bloc of warden controlled flats or a sheltered housing complex. Whatever, it’s perfect. It’s up there with Emergency Locksmith as a deceptively heartbreaking tune.
25 March 2022
duke of westminster
@Cody Jarrett
Hardy’s Tess is swept up by the nefarious Alec D’Uberville on his horse after she gets into a fight. Alec is male, though, not female, and he comes along before Angel, not after.
25 March 2022
Cody jarrett
Re DoW,
Cheers, your Grace, that would certainly fit the whole d’Urbevilles vibe!
26 March 2022
michael
@Woodnoggin Tip of the chapeau for the Darren Hanlon reference. Love that guy’s stuff. He’s just released a new album (which is quality, as you’d expect) in case you didn’t know.
26 March 2022
CARDIACS and a beer
One notes that in addition to Alec’s horse, the action of the story of the novel begins with Tess, the heroine, accidentally killing “her Prince,” i.e. family horse. This is a rather witty tune, all told; the d’Urberville Tess was a decent lass caught up in the vicissitudes of the upper class – “a pure woman faithfully represented” – whereas the Tess in the Dormobile seems caught up mostly in the tangle of the narrator’s romantic ideals. “Nature came and duly took its course” –
26 March 2022
CARDIACS AND A BEER
– it can’t be “nature” to end up tangled up in the white stuff just because you live in a Dormobile, so perhaps our Tess had previous proclivities that should’ve tipped the hapless fellow off.
26 March 2022
Eclectiktronik
The title comes from a line in a book by a former head teacher collecting ‘classic student mistakes in exams’ or something. I still have a review of it somewhere. It came out in the early ’00s. Will dig it out if anyone’s *that* interested 😉
30 March 2022
dr desperate
Go on, then!
31 March 2022
Murderous giraffe
Yes, go on then!
While I’m here, I should confess that this is one of two songs on TVY which I tend to skip so I can get on to better stuff. If I said the best bit is the title, would people suspect I’m Stuart Maconie?
31 March 2022
BOBBY SVARC
If that’s true you really need a coloured box.
31 March 2022
professor Abelazar woozle
Had a thought about the heroine line while listening in the car earlier, an alternative interpretation could be that Tess had taken to opiates and whisky as the marriage broke down?
We have different types of songs that appeal to different people. For example, some people don’t much care for For What Is Chatteris… (from Achtung Bono) and others say it’s their favourite song. And people who like Chatteris may, I think, like Tess of the Dormobiles. While others who like, I don’t know, National Shite Day might like something like Grafting Haddock in the same way. I don’t know, but that’s how I see it.
I didn’t know the title had been used before (the book Tess of The Dormobiles by Will Stebbings was published in 2015) but I presumed it may have been. It was something my dad used to say, and I’m sure other people would have said it, too.
“It Ain’t Half Man Mum” (the name of a supposed HMHB tribute band from Sunderland, which Nigel made up for inclusion in an interview with The Guardian in 2001) – I was pleased with myself for getting that out there. I feared someone else might have used it and really hoped they hadn’t. Then I thought that they wouldn’t have, because no one at that time would have been thinking about a tribute band for us, so I thought “Brilliant”.
Regarding the relationship in the song, it certainly ended amicably – you can tell that from the lyrics – but also, she probably ran off with another woman, rather than another man, I would say. That was just in my head. Not that I’m saying “Loads of lesbians live in dormobiles”! It was just the vision I had of her.
He, the narrator of the song, probably still holds a light for her and hopes she might for him as well – which is possible because the split was amicable as the relationship ran its natural course, and at the end he’s glad they end up in the same sheltered accommodation even though she’s got a really good flat while he’s got the basic one.
Chris The Siteowner
Don’t think deciphering the lyrics of this one will prove too controversial. But hey, what do I know?
25 March 2022
dr desperate
Love all the couplings here: Angel (Clare) & Tess (Durbeyfield), Mills & Boone, Tarzan (Terry) & June, Betamax & VHS, Freeview & Sky.
Do they still do those letters you can stick inside your windscreeen?
25 March 2022
dr desperate
(of your Dormobile, I meant to say.)
25 March 2022
John Anderson
The “Oh Yes” at the end of verse two appears to be an impression of Eric Morecambe.
25 March 2022
featureless steve
Good to see the white horse getting a mention on this album, too.
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
Svetlana on her big white palfrey gets about a bit.
25 March 2022
woodnoggin
This one has some similarities to a song by Australian singer Darren Hanlon: ‘Beta Losers’ from his 2000 album ‘Early Days’. Both use Betamax and VHS as two sides of a relationship, although Darren takes the opposite approach to Nigel.
“The warranty expiry date has been and gone and no one even noticed
But all our friends were there when you broke down
Since when did our relationship become obsolete
I’m sorry if I thought that the equation would always be you plus me
Now I feel like I’ve been dumped but I’ve been superseded
You were the pride of every lounge room once
But now you’ve found out that you’re worth nothing
That you’re worth nothing
Now each of my arguments you laugh at but it’s still a superior format
I might only have five videos to choose from but I can still tape off TV
And now I feel like I’ve been dumped
I feel like I’ve been dumped
What’s the difference between dumped and superseded?”
25 March 2022
Cody jaRrett
“Your Heroine upon a big white horse” has me puzzled.
Has our hapless narrator’s belle swapped sides and entered a Sapphic relationship, thus requiring a divorce?
Or has she spiralled into drug addiction (heroin, white horse, you can guess the rest)?
Or is it bleedin’ obvious to everyone who’s actually bothered to read Hardy’s Durbeyfield tome and I simply need to Ed-you-Kate myself??
25 March 2022
FEATURELESS STEVE
The HMHB narrator has form with losing his female lover to a woman.
( Lord Hereford’s Knob )
25 March 2022
paul f
You have just transcribed my entire thought process about that line, CJ.
25 March 2022
BATWALKER
Guess you can finally remove the “we’ll be adding these at our own pace” notice. Where do we think “here” is? The obvious answer is a hospital, or perhaps hospice, but do those places offer a choice between Freeview and Sky?
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
My assumption was that it was sheltered flats for the elderly.
25 March 2022
transit full of keith
I also think the song seems unequivocal that she left him for a woman (i.e. we’re back in Lord Hereford’s Knob territory).
25 March 2022
CHRISTIE MALRY
My first thought was that they were both in prison, awaiting execution – as is the fate of Tess at the end of the book (and she is swiftly replaced in Angel’s affection by her sister Liza-Lu.) It’s a long time since I last read it, but I wonder if the ‘big white horse’ is in there somewhere, perhaps the horse that dies at the start, triggering the tragic chain of events which follows.
25 March 2022
Cody jarrett
I think TFoKeith has it right. In their dotage, and purely by chance, these erstwhile star crossed lovers ended up in the same Sunnyside Nursing Home or Sheltered Accommodation , albeit on different floors and with varying TV contracts. (Presumably she’s self funding whilst he’s council). Presumably the Unicorn that tore them asunder has scarpered, leaving her suitably single, hence his desire for some senior action to recapture the glory days
25 March 2022
Tc, idris
This was an early favourite, and I actually welled up a bit at the final verse. I have to admit I didn’t get the Hayley Mills/Daniel Boone reference at first but now it’s been explained to me, it’s a perfect 8 word couplet which conveys oceans.
I’ve played out various scenarios in my mind but I’m drawn to the interpretation that the ‘here’ referred to is a bloc of warden controlled flats or a sheltered housing complex. Whatever, it’s perfect. It’s up there with Emergency Locksmith as a deceptively heartbreaking tune.
25 March 2022
duke of westminster
@Cody Jarrett
Hardy’s Tess is swept up by the nefarious Alec D’Uberville on his horse after she gets into a fight. Alec is male, though, not female, and he comes along before Angel, not after.
25 March 2022
Cody jarrett
Re DoW,
Cheers, your Grace, that would certainly fit the whole d’Urbevilles vibe!
26 March 2022
michael
@Woodnoggin
Tip of the chapeau for the Darren Hanlon reference. Love that guy’s stuff. He’s just released a new album (which is quality, as you’d expect) in case you didn’t know.
26 March 2022
CARDIACS and a beer
One notes that in addition to Alec’s horse, the action of the story of the novel begins with Tess, the heroine, accidentally killing “her Prince,” i.e. family horse. This is a rather witty tune, all told; the d’Urberville Tess was a decent lass caught up in the vicissitudes of the upper class – “a pure woman faithfully represented” – whereas the Tess in the Dormobile seems caught up mostly in the tangle of the narrator’s romantic ideals. “Nature came and duly took its course” –
26 March 2022
CARDIACS AND A BEER
– it can’t be “nature” to end up tangled up in the white stuff just because you live in a Dormobile, so perhaps our Tess had previous proclivities that should’ve tipped the hapless fellow off.
26 March 2022
Eclectiktronik
The title comes from a line in a book by a former head teacher collecting ‘classic student mistakes in exams’ or something. I still have a review of it somewhere. It came out in the early ’00s. Will dig it out if anyone’s *that* interested 😉
30 March 2022
dr desperate
Go on, then!
31 March 2022
Murderous giraffe
Yes, go on then!
While I’m here, I should confess that this is one of two songs on TVY which I tend to skip so I can get on to better stuff. If I said the best bit is the title, would people suspect I’m Stuart Maconie?
31 March 2022
BOBBY SVARC
If that’s true you really need a coloured box.
31 March 2022
professor Abelazar woozle
Had a thought about the heroine line while listening in the car earlier, an alternative interpretation could be that Tess had taken to opiates and whisky as the marriage broke down?
4 April 2022
Chris The Siteowner
Notes from Paddy Shennan’s interview with NB10:
We have different types of songs that appeal to different people. For example, some people don’t much care for For What Is Chatteris… (from Achtung Bono) and others say it’s their favourite song. And people who like Chatteris may, I think, like Tess of the Dormobiles. While others who like, I don’t know, National Shite Day might like something like Grafting Haddock in the same way. I don’t know, but that’s how I see it.
I didn’t know the title had been used before (the book Tess of The Dormobiles by Will Stebbings was published in 2015) but I presumed it may have been. It was something my dad used to say, and I’m sure other people would have said it, too.
“It Ain’t Half Man Mum” (the name of a supposed HMHB tribute band from Sunderland, which Nigel made up for inclusion in an interview with The Guardian in 2001) – I was pleased with myself for getting that out there. I feared someone else might have used it and really hoped they hadn’t. Then I thought that they wouldn’t have, because no one at that time would have been thinking about a tribute band for us, so I thought “Brilliant”.
Regarding the relationship in the song, it certainly ended amicably – you can tell that from the lyrics – but also, she probably ran off with another woman, rather than another man, I would say. That was just in my head. Not that I’m saying “Loads of lesbians live in dormobiles”! It was just the vision I had of her.
He, the narrator of the song, probably still holds a light for her and hopes she might for him as well – which is possible because the split was amicable as the relationship ran its natural course, and at the end he’s glad they end up in the same sheltered accommodation even though she’s got a really good flat while he’s got the basic one.
4 May 2022