This is a continuing story. See the first five years of PBRs here.
You know those moments when something happens and it immediately brings to mind a Half Man Half Biscuit lyric? On the Yahoo Groups Half Man Half Biscuit Mailing List, and perhaps beyond, this is known as a PBR, because “life is a Perpetual Biscuit Reference”. Anyway, by popular demand (OK, one person’s suggestion), here’s a page where you can record any noteworthy PBRs. Particularly good ones would be two or three references occurring together in majestic harmony, rather than “I sat behind a Chinese student on the number three bus the other day and he was carrying a Ken Hom Wok Set” (which is true, by the way, and I giggled for the whole journey). Over to you!
Landlord
Japanese family tends wrong British grave for 140 years…
2 January 2015
third rate les
I’ve STILL never been to Billing Aquadrome. January 6th. Jeff Dreadnought’s birthday.
6 January 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Someone’s had a moan at a committee of MPs about the streets being full of litter – in Sussex, yet. I think the police should be told.
7 January 2015
TAYLO
Very sad to report that this Sunday’s Manchester United fanzine Red Issue will be the last. It lives on with the forum, as vitriolic and controversial as ever ( as well as very funny) but in print media it is dead.
Why is this a PBR? I used to write for it a lot and if it wasn’t for someone coming up with the space saving idea of calling Ruud Van Nistelrooy RVN10, then I never would have come up with NB57. #jesuisRedIssue
10 January 2015
Bobby SVARC
The Fox are entering their 26th year and they must be one of the only one going in print form now, Always entertaining and worth a read, Used to like the old “Where’s the money gone” though, alot more radical and the club banned it from being sold outside the ground, misserable sods.
10 January 2015
Warden Hodges
I miss the paper version of ‘ When Skies Are Grey’ and the joy of standing on the island outside the Goodison chippy.
10 January 2015
Mattkin-as-is
One for the deutsch-sprechende out there.
Article from the local paper on “unruhige Beine” (restless legs).
http://goo.gl/Vfb40E
17 January 2015
Mr wet underpants 89
Pat Nevin’s just referenced Emil Zatopek on the live football feed on the bbc
18 January 2015
nigel
Am I the only person shouting “herpes” at the tv every time the sky commentator mentions a certain Everton player?
19 January 2015
peter mcornithologist
Westward Ho! an answer on this evenings Only Connect.
26 January 2015
Simon
My mate’s moaning about being rubbish at online chess.
Cue – ‘Bad loser at Yahoo chess’.
I’ve tried to get him into HMHB but he’s proving stubborn, despite throwing endless PBRs at him.
3 February 2015
EXXO
Forecaster tells me that “temperatures may struggle” tomorrow. Why do I have a strong feeling that they will succeed in expressing whatever temperature it is pretty much as they always do?
7 February 2015
dickhead in quicksand
I quite like a bit of Struggling Temperatures. Didn’t they once record a Peel session?
8 February 2015
Bobby SVARC
HALF VILLA HALF CITY – “Urge For Scarves” 5 Quid…..WHY?
15 February 2015
JUST MARK
@BOBBY SVARC – I never could grasp the mentality of so called fans buying 50/50 scarves until someone pointed out they weren’t fans, they were clients and they weren’t going to the match, they were enjoying the big-match atmosphere as part of their exciting corporate package with added match day experience. If you then think the scarf will be kept as a souvenir of their big day it makes sense. Although as an MCFC ‘customer’ and owner of a ‘Cityzen’ card my opinion is not worth much these days!
15 February 2015
EXXO
I have some half-and-halves purchased at big European away matches, where you’re so pissed that you feel like you do need a souvenir (of marathon drinking sessions), but then you look like a twat wearing it anywhere back home or even having it on a wall. I rarely wear a scarf but I grabbed a random one out of a drawer when I needed a muffler to stand on a touchline recently when my Mrs was playing in a match in about minus 5 wind chill, but I thought I’d look like a real jerk if anyone could see what it was (clue: quite a comeback). I’ve got enough of that sort of stuff in drawers and the attic to decorate 3 or 4 new pubs in the Anfield area. I’ve even got some quarter-and-quarter-and- quarter-and-quarter scarves for a couple of Champions frigging League groups. I would gladly swap it all – every last scarf and match programme – for half the money it cost. But ebay is such a bloody palaver. Anyone want a job lot?
15 February 2015
dickhead in quicksand
Richard Boston once noted that a small glass of mild and bitter mixed is a narfer narfer narf.
15 February 2015
SIMON P
There were half and half scarves available at Leeds v Millwall this weekend. Seriously.
16 February 2015
John Anderson
I’m off to the shop clutching a piece of paper on which I’ve written:
Eggs
Bread
Milk
Unfortunately I don’t smoke.
17 February 2015
JUST MARK
Whilst watching the video for ‘Driving Away From Home’ by It’s Immaterial I happened on a man racing an ostrich (jockey style, not head to head) at the 30 second mark. Looked very similar to the CD disc art for UfO.
1 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
@CtSO: Not a Biscuit reference but your second great passion.
(Ordered it yesterday – CtSO)
3 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
OK Man, I’ll ask Gary if there’s a page on the LCFC fans dressed as Hari Krishna’s dancing on the R.R exec boxes roofs in 1991 đ
3 March 2015
peter mcornithologist
CtSO. We have a link,sir.Tommy Miller.Hartlepool -Ipswich- copious others and now back at Hartlepool.
3 March 2015
brumbiscuit
Two PBRs today. Firstly I work in an environment where the Pet Shop Boys are considered avant garde, so when Joy Division Oven Gloves came on the radio, it was both a delight and a massive surprise. Only a minor PBR, I’ll grant you. However, this afternoon, whilst doing the washing up in kitchen gloves (Marigold, not Joy Division), the doorbell rang and I peered round to see who it was through the mottled window: ‘Ah, a mate’s come round in his DPAS’, thought I and went to the door to talk all things Biscuit. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be two door-to-door chuggers from the British Red Cross. I’m afraid I was rather abrupt. They really shouldn’t have purple and orange uniforms.
6 March 2015
peter mcornithologist
@ Brumbiscuit. Were sieves responsible for your tetchiness?
6 March 2015
Dr Desperate
Not strictly speaking a HMHB song reference, but I did have a letter printed in The Times of London today, based on NB’s Mud gag from the last couple of gigs.
“Sir,
John Webster gives the wrong title to Mud’s No1 hit of February 1974: it was not Tiger Beat, but Tiger Feet. That’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right…”
6 March 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
I just now realized that Paris Fashion Week is going on. That really caught me off guard.
Damn trellis.
8 March 2015
Rubber Faced IRritant
@Dr D. Did you hear your letter was read out by the presenter of Classic FM Breakfast as an amusing missive?
Whilst on Mud-related quippery, my eldest son used to be in the same class as the son of the guitarist. At a parent’s evening I suggested to their English teacher that he should examine a sample of the boy’s handwriting and declare “that’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat….”.
8 March 2015
Dr Desperate
I did not, @RFI, but thanks for letting me know – well all right!
8 March 2015
brumbiscuit
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Blqh4xaCcAIQ2ow.png
8 March 2015
POP-TART MARK
YEEEES
Get back in the Wim Van Haanegem
All bet on the Douvan man again
With all those offers on the first that really sets up the whole week’s funds đ
Sitting in William Hills waiting Freddy w/o fav in the next then of course you could have Polly Peachum w/o fav on yer powerflakes later on.
Sings (to the tune of La Donn’ e Mobile, obviously)
“I’m so ephemeral,
I’m so ephemeral…
I’m so ephemeral,
I’m so ephemeral…”
10 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
Changed pic on the website
http://www.probe-plus.co.uk/index.php/probe-plus-bands
14 March 2015
EXXO
Massive night for the old mathematical trapdoor unsafety tonight. Had no concerns when Adams took over, but if Rovers don’t get something tonight at The Abbey, the ultimate trapdoor beckons. The run-in fixtures are tough.
Ronnie Moore needs an Oxbridge result tonight too eh Peter?
17 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
Come on lads, do the relegation shuffle, it’s fun……The only thing that saddens me is that Nuneaton Boro’ won’t be there to greet you, still we may draw you in the Conference Cup or the FA Trophy
17 March 2015
Warden Hodges
More fun at Step 7. Reprieves and regional sideways moves oh and clubs going bust of course. Gee whizz….
17 March 2015
peter mcornithologist
@ Exxo, I am wearing my lucky underpants whilst locating probable venues for next season. Reminds of the time decades ago when I became furious at my inability to locate Tranmere! Good luck to us both.
17 March 2015
EXXO
Ha, see Adderley’s tweet there?
ELEVATE, ROVERS!!! ELEVATE!!!
17 March 2015
EXXO
Dear Ms McVey,
NB57 told me his song song definitely wasn’t about you, but you’re so vain, etc., so I thought you might like this one that definitely is. Compares you with that Jesus. Not as dull as the school choir.
20 March 2015
peter mcornithologist
@ Exxo. Ideally she will be sacked, not find work and ultimately rely upon the foodbanks she claims are a wonderful example of community spirit.
21 March 2015
Bobby SVARC
@Poptart, LCFC OUT, “Weighed In, Weighed In”
21 March 2015
SIMON P
Whilst leafing through the “things to do” leaflets in a pub in deepest Northants yesterday, I came across one for the Salcey Forest Cafe which piqued my interest. In the chaos of the England-France game I forgot to take it with me, but there’s a version on the web.
http://www.salceyforestcafe.com/menu.pdf
In the “Take Away Menu” section in the middle, it gives the name of the proprietor…
22 March 2015
JUST MARK
@SIMON P
Nice menu, full of helpful information such as “We open the parlour when its busy to serve you”
22 March 2015
AMOCO CADIZ
Musical debut for HMHB on the Sheffield FC tannoy system with Bob Wilson Anchorman. World’s oldest football club? Or most tasteful? You can have your El Classico for me, just give me the Sheffield FC pre match warm up…
28 March 2015
Jeff dreadnought
April 1st: Hornbeam Day!
1 April 2015
nigel
the g is for the gnarled face(from bbc text chel v stoke)
YELLOW CARD
Chelsea 2-1 Stoke City
Posted at 66 mins
Charlie Adam is booked for launching a verbal volley of abuse towards the referee’s assistant. He thinks he should be given the throw. He doesn’t get it.
4 April 2015
dickhead in quicksand
“He doesnât get it.”
In either sense.
4 April 2015
John Anderson
One of my friends has just got married on a Caribbean beach. Presumably he’s now working his way through the Joy Of Sex video.
20 April 2015
EXXO
I’d much rather go down to Dorset with its wonderful Premier League team.
At a rough count there are now only about 23 English counties which have never had a Premier League team.
27 April 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Ah yes, Bournemouth …AKA “the Submariners” (as in Dive! Dive! Dive!). How well they will fit in to the Premier League.
28 April 2015
bobby svarc
Glad we won’t be playing them
28 April 2015
brumbiscuit
At least it puts our valiant 0:8 home defeat into some sort of perspective.
28 April 2015
EXXO
Can the “that should be an HMHB lyric” brigade on twitter just F*** RIGHT OFF.
“All HMHB fans should rejoice.” Why? Oh surprise surprise, it’s because an HMHB fan thinks he’s funny. We’ve all been going the gigs long enough to know that HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE’S SENSE OF HUMOUR.
29 April 2015
dickhead in quicksand
What’s twitter? a subsite of this site I haven’t found yet? If not, why should I or anyone else round here care about it?
29 April 2015
brumbiscuit
Farcebook isn’t much better. I just unintentionally airshipped someone by asking if his Aditoff trainers were Dick Quax running shoes. The dry reply said much…
30 April 2015
peter mcornithologist
Is it just me with my taped up goggles but does anyone else think that Judd Trump strongly resembles a 1980’s Nigel Blackwell ?
1 May 2015
Adam Boyle
I’m not sure who’d be the most offended Peter, but I catch your drift
1 May 2015
CARRIE ANNE
Peter, you’re not the first person to spot the resemblance….https://youtu.be/LEJcUSTScCQ
2 May 2015
peter mcornithologist
@ Carrie Anne. Thank you . So my aging goggles are still functioning.
2 May 2015
Dr Desperate
NB10 has commented himself a couple of times at gigs that he used to look like Judd Trump, but now looks more like Jaap Stam.
2 May 2015
EXXO
Sometimes I hate my addiction to this site.
Switched on my laptop 2 hours ago to back Bingham at 2/1. Got distracted by this site and forgot about the bet (I don’t actually watch snooker – but sometimes the odds are daft)…. 2 hours later he’s 2/5 .
[Yes Chris I am just posting this to prove the need for an irrelevant drivel forum to post all betting/fox-related twaddle… winky smiley ].
4 May 2015
brumbiscuit
https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=90559.msg1860706#msg1860706
I had to try really hard not to post a link to Tending the Wrong Grave…
12 May 2015
EXXO
Never mind the mum, he seems to agree with her that ‘the grave’ is the headstone. Do they think the body gets buried in the headstone?
12 May 2015
Eric olthwaite
I’m currently reading Peter Hook’s book about Joy Division in which he refers to being involved in a running order squabble fest. Must be a fan. And I reckon JD probably did go on after Crispy Ambulance at some point.
21 May 2015
Bobby SVARC
It is with deep regret that I have to announce that after a long illness Geoff Davies’ son, Stephen, passed away on Monday.
RIP Stephen
30 May 2015
CHARLES EXFORD
Fond memories of chats with Stephen on the stall at many gigs down the years.
Deepest sympathies with his family and friends.
30 May 2015
dickhead in quicksand
I never met Stephen. But for those who knew him – please convey my sincere “fuck this news; just, fuck it” sentiments to his friends and family.
31 May 2015
Dave Cooper
Tweeted on the day but may as well stick it in here as well…
3 June 2015
Bobby SVARC
Dear All
The funeral of Stephen will take place on Monday 8th June at Dalton Burial Ground near Burton-in-Kendal, about 12 miles North of Lancaster.
The âwake/ doâ will follow at 4.30pm at the Casa, Hope Street. Liverpool, Everyone is welcome, a celebration of Stephenâs life will take place with some music and his the showing of his films
Regards, Geoff
4 June 2015
Leadbellydownatthedepot
Me and the wife split up a while back, and she got together with frankly indecent haste with her Lindy-hop partner. To add insult to injury, they also ruined my favourite poncy arts cafe-bar by setting up a regular retro dancing night there.
Happily though, due to said partner being the ex of the eminence gris of the local Lindy/Charleston enthusiasts, attendance was woeful, and in short order their evening of swing was cancelled. Needless to say I celebrated by feeding our children non-organic food.
5 June 2015
toastkid
Just seen this: what terribly sad news. Geoff, if you’re reading, i’m very very sorry for your loss.
5 June 2015
Chris The Siteowner
I have spoken to Geoff Davies about marking Stephen’s death, and he has suggested that we could make a contribution to the Motor Neurone Disease Association. To that end, I have set up a donation page at JustGiving in Stephen’s memory (update: now closed).
I know that several regulars here have offered, over the years, to support this site financially. This has never been necessary (although the gesture is appreciated). However, if you’d like to make a donation as above, that would fit the bill perfectly. Thank you.
(Thanks to Brumbiscuit and Bobby Svarc for the idea and for getting things moving)
5 June 2015
dickhead in quicksand
The sum raised has already topped CtSO’s unambitious target of ÂŁ500 – as I write, it stands at ÂŁ505.73.
73p, ffs? OK, who donated the price of a packet of Pringles past its sell-by date?
7 June 2015
bobby svarc
Sir Lenny Henry….you’re funny
7 June 2015
bobby svarc
It’s the money from Gift Aid, it always leaves a weird grand total
7 June 2015
flintlock
Goodyear airship moment on Popbitch earlier today.
8 June 2015
CHARLES EXFORD
Off-topic forum:
PEARSON OUT !!!
17 June 2015
JUST MARK
http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/do-we-all-still-scream-for-ice-cream/
20 June 2015
Bobby SVARC
Off-topic forum:
PEARSON OUT !!!
30 June 2015
scott
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-33397963 đ
5 July 2015
dickhead in quicksand
101 year old woman breaks record for oldest abseiler. To my regret, named Doris rather than Doreen.
12 July 2015
gok wan acolyte
While <a href=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-33504602 this is in no way a humorous story, my initial thought on hearing it was “an understandable reaction to encountering Primark FM”
13 July 2015
gok wan acolyte
While this is in no way a humorous story, my initial thought on hearing it was âan understandable reaction to encountering Primark FMâ
13 July 2015
brumbiscuit
Where’s Bobby Svarc when you need to remind him that Birmingham City beat Nuneaton Town 3:0 away?
15 July 2015
Bobby SVARC
I met the new manager last night, Kevin Wilson, absolutely shite, he didn’t do any funny songs or owt.
You looked primed and ready to take Division 1 by storm btw.
15 July 2015
Warden Hodges
KBW. Is he still asking Santa where’s his bloody bike?
15 July 2015
brumbiscuit
Quite by coincidence, I’ll be at this, but will keep an eagle eye on the ‘much, much more’ content and report back. If it should fall short of expectations, these people will be expected to provide a furuncular driver on whom I shall vent my spleen.
19 July 2015
John anderson
Somewhat unsurprisingly Half Man Half Biscuit feature in a book written by my friend David Cavanagh about the John Peel Show which is published by Faber & Faber on October 1st. I am not at liberty to reveal the contents as I only have a proof copy but, suffice to say, it is likely to appeal to anyone with even a passing interest in the Peel show in general. http://tinyurl.com/nslovw2
24 July 2015
dr desperate
Looks good, John, and just in time for my birthday. I shall start dropping hints now.
24 July 2015
brumbiscuit
As I need the space, my jarg, lilac Harry Quinn is up for grabs for nowt. Given the price, it’s collection only. I certainly can’t be arsed to box it up to have it couriered.
It was a largeish Motobecane frame of unknown vintage, powder coated to RAL 4005, IIRC. Basic components, but working. Not really a bike to do long distances on, TBH, at least not in its current guise.
All I’d ask is that it is kept complete and not acquired simply to scavenge the better bits.
Any takers from Warwick? At a push, I’d take it into Brum, but I’d ask for my train fare (about ÂŁ8) for that.
25 July 2015
BrumbiscUit
“…Not one duff tune, you’ll notice…” A recent Twatter quote from the HMHB thread.
Right.
Kelly Marie and Sheena Easton? Maybe it was ironic or perhaps it was one of those Happy Baby Happy Mums tweeters.
(I have to be careful here, as I saw Sheena Easton at Brum Odeon. I was young(er) and I wanted to get my leg over*, but even then I knew it was utter shite.)
With the young lady I accompanied, not Sheena. Although, on reflection…
25 July 2015
Bobby SVARC
Boom Boom, Boom Boom…
25 July 2015
EW
Walking the Ridgeway today and passed the White Horse at Uffington, guide book mentioned the GK Chesterton poem “The Ballad of the White Horse” and quoted some lines:-
“Before the gods that made the gods
Had seen their sunrise pass,
The White Horse of the White Horse Vale
Was cut out of the grass.”
9 August 2015
Nige
bet it’s not got a dodgy transformer
http://www.topgear.com/car-news/motorsport/sale-scalextrics-biggest-ever-track?
12 August 2015
EXXO
Dunno if they play their experimental trio up front away from home but …Boreham Wood teamsheet sure look funny
https://twitter.com/tranmererovers/status/635075516287090690/photo/1
22 August 2015
EXXO
Nearly Montgomery, Clifford, honey.
But Clifford missed his chance and it ended up 0-2 (Montgomery, Crawford), honey.
22 August 2015
Dr Desperate
Anyone here interested in a song about insomnia, tribute bands, bands who publicise their rehearsals, a former Arsenal striker, Sunday League reminiscences, having to play on Later with Jools Holland and never trusting a man who owns the Chubby Brown collection? Check out ‘Double-Edged Swords’ by The Humdrum Express (Kidderminster home-recorderist Ian Passey). I believe he has played support in the past, but I’ve never seen him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R178o4YvDfo
22 August 2015
Bobby SVARC
Brabin Out!
22 August 2015
Paul f
Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the Seventies show is frequently chock full of Biscuit references. In recent weeks he has interviewed Deke Leonard of Welsh rockers Man and Albert Hammond. This week’s interview with Pete Agnew of Nazareth was overshadowed though by two call backs to Johnnie’s famous Half Moon Half Biscuit interview, Boz Scaggs singing Lido and Neil Diamond’s I Am I Said. Surely not a coincidence…
6 September 2015
TAYLO
Another bus, another low bridge…
9 September 2015
EXXO
They rarely lead to a goal but when they do…
12 September 2015
Bobby SVARC
Nuneaton+Tranmere. Weighed In!!
12 September 2015
EXXO
Saturday afternoon & the gates are decent.
7,433 (1,526 from Chester)
12 September 2015
Bobby SVARC
The 11,085 record gate for the Conference/National League (at Bristol Rvrs) could be in doubt this year, Tranmere v Wrexham?
12 September 2015
EXXO
Not sure about that one -but that Gasheads crowd was last day of the season, and that’s when Tranmere host the side with by far the biggest away following (Grimsby), si if promotion is hanging on that one for both teams I’d expect them to bring 4,000 and the record to be challenged.
13 September 2015
NIGEL, NO NOT that ONE (NX3TO)
4,000 is about our average home gate! Anyway we’ll be champions by then. UTM
13 September 2015
bobby svarc
Wrexham will win the league, Grimsby’s away following at Fodder was pathetic
13 September 2015
EXXO
With Âź odds for 2nd or 3rd place I can see value in 14/1 for Cheltenham.
Mind you it’s been a while since I could afford any bets where I’d have to wait that long for a return (yes the last one was Leicester to go down, your tip I seem to recall, and the special of Leicester QPR & Burnley all to go down.
Pearson out! đ
14 September 2015
Richard k
Came home last night to find my wife had arranged for us to have a water meter fitted. Here’s hoping…
15 September 2015
Martyn
Just seen ‘Evil Blizzard’ supporting PiL – & all I could think of was ‘Did you used to be called Evil Gazebo’?
20 September 2015
WARDEN HODGES
A vague PBR but here goes.
The latest book out on Bob Latchford has a road sign with a number 9 and is called ‘ A Different Road’.
24 September 2015
A middle-aged huw
Wouldn’t it be fun if they gave the ref a gun.
29 September 2015
Dave N Barbara
Mrs Barbara recently made a video for work, and came home and told me it was getting professionally voiced. Have a guess who by? The intervening week allowed me to introduce her to the delights of You’re Hard, and she was dying to mention it to the person concerned, but I convinced her not to. And judging by the fee, I’m not surprised she ‘gets by’.
30 September 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Huge shame you convinced her not to. I’d love to have heard the reaction.
30 September 2015
Dr Desperate
Might have been similar to Ayshea’s when I told her of her appearance in ‘Hedley Verityesque’ at Lincoln Comic-Con last weekend: bemusement followed by delight, then taking down the details to Google when she got home.
30 September 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
“As special advisor to Sepp Blatter a job I have landed
But I don’t get paid for the first nine years”
etc.
3 October 2015
EXXO
Just seen Jurgen Klopp in West Derby buying energy drinks.
Looks like he’s pipped Nigel Pearson to it then.
4 October 2015
EXXO
That Bromley banner in the Cowsheds yesterday – what you might not realise is how apt it is, ‘cos the club don’t actually sell the away shirts. There isn’t the demand, I mean not until now that is.
Wonder if had anything to do with a Hayes Lane Ultra I used to know? Massive fella called Lloyd, plays bass in a NE-based punk band called Bear Trade?
4 October 2015
Dagenham dave
Nice to see Bradley Walsh got the Farmfoods phone call.
12 October 2015
flintlock
The recent national acclaim given to Sleaford Mods results in them joining Jools for the jam sketch tonight.
13 October 2015
Dagenham dave
There I was searching Twatter for comments on last night’s gig and this pops up…..
https://twitter.com/guardianmusic/status/654901036453380096
16 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
Half Man Half Acca
Gent @ 7/10
T.N.S. @ 3/10
Dundalk @ 1/4
Dukla Praha @ 8/5
4 Folds, 1 bet * ÂŁ10.00
16 October 2015
brumbiscuit
Reliving old Robin2 gigs, I watched Dean Friedman’s appearance in Bilston 5 years ago. Some randomish internet hopping later turns up the fact that he’s on in Stratford-u-A next Saturday. I very nearly almost toyed with the idea, until I saw the ÂŁ25 price tag.
17 October 2015
Dave Cooper
Kathleen Ferrier was a subject on Mastermind last night. I didn’t know any of the answers.
19 October 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
My journey from Liverpool to Chester is (not surprisingly) a cornucopia of PBRs. Turning off the A41 towards North Wales (which provides a dramatic view of the Clwydian Hills, including Loggerheads, in the distance) I pass the “Asparagus Next Left” sign that I always like to think inspired the song, before turning into the road to Mollington (whose welcome sign proudly proclaims “Home of the Pessimist Festival since 1974”) and, on reaching the outskirts of Chester, I turn right at Blackwell’s Stonecraft.
21 October 2015
Paul C
Yesterday at work, unprompted, my colleague Darren (36), announced his intention to become a lollipop man in later life. This was, of course, the high point of my week. Absolutely love this site.
24 October 2015
paul f
A while back I impulsively bought a CD of sea shanties. After finding it a bit tedious I gave up on it for a while. I’ve just tried it again and still find it boring, but had to chuckle when I noticed it was on Topic Records. I’m clearly not geared for it.
24 October 2015
Nigel
Memo to the writers / producers of the new paranormal activity film.
Dear sirs
It’s the book of revelation
No “s”
24 October 2015
nigel
that Tommy Walsh is older than he looks
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/archaeology/prehistoric-eco-house-1300-years-older-than-stonehenge-discovered-by-archaeologists-a6712716.html
29 October 2015
Brumbiscuit
Imagine my disappointment… http://www.cafepress.co.uk/+jim-jones+duvet-covers
31 October 2015
Brumbiscuit
Imagine my elation… http://www.redbubble.com/people/killersnmadmen/works/16618314-rev-jim-jones?p=duvet-cover
31 October 2015
THIS LEADEN PAUL
“Use a mild detergent, but stay away from the bleach” is useful advice in all situations.
31 October 2015
Nige
no nils handy for the hills then
3 November 2015
nigel
Missed a whole part of his name out, BBC
3 November 2015
Dave n barbara
Established HMHB fan Paddy Shennan gets a nice PBR in at the end of his story about the ‘fast walking lanes’ at Liverpool One.
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/fast-track-pedestrian-shopping-lanes-10400770
9 November 2015
Bobby SVARC
Alfie my grandson, Good Lad.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/ab321/Micky_Bates/Alfie6_zpsrzkdkzuy.png
11 November 2015
Dagenham dave
I won’t be the only one thinking of a certain lyric when I saw this in the Guardian.
http://gu.com/p/4e6m2?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
13 November 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
Even men with steel hearts love to see a cat on the outfield http://www.theguardian.com/sport/live/2015/nov/13/pakistan-england-second-odi-live-over-by-over
13 November 2015
SCHOON
On the Inside Rolls-Royce documentary, at the launch of the new Wraith, the Rolls marketing manager notes that instead of the standard classical background music they are playing Deep House.
16 November 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Electric Ireland may be overly optimistic.
23 November 2015
Mac
Looking at tyres for a Fat Bike (not a bike for the Purists) I came across these
http://cdn.mos.bikeradar.imdserve.com/images/bikes-and-gear/bikes/mountain-bikes/hardtail/1424734964235-14sicy4z2twkl-960-540.jpg
27 November 2015
EXXO
Friday night and the stakes are low but surely it’s a DNB double of Peter Mc & Siteowner’s outfits tonight?
Murphy & Jake Gray FGS/AGS for interest
4 December 2015
gok wan acolyte
Eddie Mair introduced the news about the Forth Bridge on PM tonight with the line “trouble over bridge water” though I’m sure he thought it was an original joke
4 December 2015
BrumbiscUit
I found this fan whilst searching for a certain clichĂŠd song yesterday. Check this out if you can spare 61 seconds and then watch her non-clichĂŠd version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vCxSAb7_aGU
25 December 2015
Dr desperate
Very festive, Andy (though not as much as the next song YouTube offered me, which was her version of The Dresden Dolls’ ‘Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner’).
26 December 2015
Dagenham dave
Went to visit Gormley’s Another Place in Crosby today. Very good.
I noted on an information board that they have previously been exhibited in Stavanger.
2 January 2016
WARDEN HODGES
Re DD- wish I had too instead of watching the Yeltz win easy at our gaff today.
2 January 2016
Brumbiscuit
Well, on one note, I found myself reminiscing on YouTube this evening and found this: I was there! I’m pretty sure at least a couple of the band would also have been.
On another note, a bit of searching found a gig in Leeds in ’93 in which Prag Vec at the Melkveg was played. I thought it was one of the songs deemed never to have made a live appearance. (Although I have a hazy recollection of hearing it somewhere or other.) I can’t understand why, as it’s a cracker of a song.
YouTube is rather addictive, isn’t it? I also dug up footage of a Gary Glitter NYE concert from Bournemouth in ’87 and even caught a glimpse of myself at the front. Ah, my 15 milliseconds of infamy…
2 January 2016
EXXO
Stunning video that Andy, thanks for the heads up. A really tight, well rehearsed set it seems. Saw them most years at the Duchess in the 90’s but was living in Egypt in ’93 so privilege to be able to see that one.
The reason why they haven’t played Prag live since then seems to be what happens when you watch the fingers of the man on the left towards the end of the song – they’re Simon’s twiddly bits – what a fine guitarist he was – and if Ken did it it would have to be different. They absolutely fucking nail it though don’t they?
I was at that rehearsal match at Wembley too. The feeling as we left the ground that it would set us up to get promoted 6 days later was palpable, and so it turned out. That enabled the incredible Aldo era to start within a couple of months, which now seems as surreal and improbable as anything in1991-1993 era HMHB lyrics …
3 January 2016
Brumbiscuit
An unseasonal left turn needed: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-35250699
7 January 2016
Cygnus
Yes BB the unseasonally early asparagus featured on tonight’s Midlands Today and was followed by a preview of the Wasps v Worcester rugby game with a brief interview with one Dai Young – he doesn’t look much like a goth these days!
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/rugby/rugby-news/dai-youngs-extraordinary-work-wasps-10487198
7 January 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Dai Young – nicknamed, I believe, Only The Good.
7 January 2016
CARRIE aNNE
I’ve never used twatter myself, so I don’t really understand how it all works. But I can’t help wondering if Dr Didi and her Healthy Mommie cohorts get all of ‘our’ #hmhb random stuff in one of their feeds, and what on earth do they make of it?
7 January 2016
EXXO
I blame whoever kept tweeting the Cathy Staniforth line whenever there was a reference to a rural milk bank in the media. Why not just hum it to yourself?
Anyway today I was catching up with other festive stuff I missed further up this fred, and @comment 143 very nice version, thanks for posting the link Andy, and @144, hmm I know one uke player’s much like another when your heads down over your pieces brother but I don’t think she’s even on the same continent. I’m a bit of an Amanda Palmer admirer meself, so the Dresden Dolls cover took me down about 2 hours of catching up with her, including an hour of her being interviewed by hubby Neil Gaiman about her new book.
Upshot of this, and of lots of other recent trains of inspiration, is that as soon as I have some cash I’m gona invest in another strum-along instrument, not a uke this time – fretboard way too small for my fingers- but maybe a mandola or Irish bouzouki. Be very afraid.
Meanwhile ‘A Mere Kat’ is the new ‘Drunken Madman’. Vivat regina.
7 January 2016
nige
wish I’d known about this, could have looked for a replacemebt transformer, but surely not enough time to set up the track??
http://www.swindonweb.com/event/?m=40&s=0&ss=0&c=9128
10 January 2016
Dagenham dave
Just heard ‘aplomb’ used on tonight’s Match of the Day.
6 February 2016
Mr.X
@Dagenham Dave Was it Tranmere Rovers fan Steve Bower that used “aplomb”? Sounds like a term he would use.
I should know as I used to be the stat man for Steve’s commentaries at MUTV.
7 February 2016
EXXO
Surely the point of the song is that you hear it pretty regularly on commentaries. It is a clichĂŠ, especially when used to describe clinical one-on-one finishes with ‘subject+verbs(often ‘tucks’, sometimes ‘steers’)+it/the ball+away(‘home’/’into the back of the net’)+with+aplomb’, yet virtually non-existent in other every day contexts.
So surely when you hear it in another context it would be more worthy of note?
Its appearance here is surely the equivalent of someone who drives regularly to Criccieth teling us about every time they were in a bottleneck at Capel Curig, someone who manages a supermarket carpark noting every example of Blue Badge abuse, someone who drives down country lanes in the spring telling us about every asparagus next left sign, etc.** These things,and hundreds of others from shit sellotape to no bog roll, are in the songs because they happen regularly.
**(just an average day on the #hmhb hashtag then).
7 February 2016
John Anderson
Two today. First Harry Redknapp describes Dele Alli as a “top, top player” then someone tells me they’d love to have a go at the bobsleigh.
13 February 2016
EXXO
In terms of people saying that in the media it came from him originally and spread via his son who’s on the box more that him, so again, hardly a collector’s item.
13 February 2016
John Anderson
Very sorry. One today. Someone tells me theyâd love to have a go at the bobsleigh.
13 February 2016
EXXO
Ah well at least people don’t comment on here every time they see a keeper save then rant and rave.
Meanwhile Terry Butcher has had too many knocks on the bonce and so is one of the more original commentator’s sidekicks, today comparing James’ Collins head to a Van de Graaff Generator and going on to witter about the band of a similar name.
13 February 2016
Half fan half critic
No bog roll!
19 February 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Looks like an hour in lieu being used up. (Thanks Dave M)
22 February 2016
bobby svarc
16 years ago today, Tranmere Rovers 1 Leicester City 2 at Wembley Stadium in the League Cup Final. Blimey
27 February 2016
Bobby SVARC
The wonderful last minute goal by Leo Ulloa, Makes me want to shake hands with the whole of Argentina
27 February 2016
Bobby SVARC
“Careful now them Swans can break your heart” LCFC
2 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
This year’s model, The Carling Stand, Leicester. Every model I build always has a Biscuit reference. Exxo will know it.
http://www.modelstadia.co.uk/index.php/this-year-s-model-the-carling-stand
4 March 2016
EXXO
Stupendously fine job again Mick, if not quite the homely charm of the Cowsheds…
Tough game today but now you’ve achieved that mathematical safety, anything is possible eh?
5 March 2016
Peter mcornithologist
May I concur with the sentiments of Exxo. First, whilst we languish in 90th.But the passion is doubtlessly equal.
5 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
I wasn’t going to build it Exxo, A little too modern for my tastes tbh, but I’ve been put under severe pressure to build the final part of the Filbert Street era.
Anyway I model nothing that’s still standing, that is my rule. To make modern stadiums fill me with dread. A modelling mate of mine has built Hartlepool F.C., quality job it is as well.
My next, and possibly last project will be a full monty of Prenton Park, the floodlights and old stands are pure porn.
5 March 2016
cuthbert muttonchops
am i mistaken? but last night i watched a film on c4 late on,sevenpyschopaths
and heard a little bit of trumpton riots is this correct? or did i imagine it
6 March 2016
Peter mcornithologist
You certainly heard it Cuthbert.
6 March 2016
G100
Couldn’t take a photo, as I was driving, but yesterday passing through West Sussex I saw a bus with ‘Rail Replacement Service’ on it’s sign.
14 March 2016
EXXO
Heâs the Mainz man in attack for Leicester City
And heâs often on the bench in Puma trackie.
But I can swing my foot and whack it right above my face
And pretend that Iâm Shinji Okazaki
14 March 2016
EXXO
does actually fit with that rhythm they’re clapping at Fil, errm the KP, right now
14 March 2016
bobby svarc
Sad times I’m afraid, one of own died after the game tonight. That is all.
14 March 2016
Peter mcornithologist
Wishing you well Mr.Svarc.
15 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
Better news Peter, The chap (60) survived and was taken LRI where he remains critical. Social Media at it’s very worst I’m afraid, but saying that, BBC Radio Leicester reported that the supporter had died in their 10pm bulletin. Fingers crossed, he’ll pull through.
15 March 2016
EXXO
I used to know the statistic of the ridiculous number of heart attacks per year at our ground, and even before social media there’d be all kinds of rumours of who’d died & who’d survived. As football crowds get older it only gets worse, but the medics do a great job it seems. Only a few weeks ago they saved one of our stewards’ lives with 10-15 mins of CPR, de-fib etc, and it looked to me (as I was watching on a crap stream as there’s no way I can afford to go anymore) like the Sky director actually changed from the main cam to avoid showing it. Hope he makes a full recovery.
15 March 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
@Bobby
He’s in my prayers fella….
16 March 2016
bobby svarc
He had a serious stroke according to the local scribe, we’re a tuff lot us stroke survivor types.
16 March 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
Sad to hear about the death of cliff michelmore
And Aaron ramsay didn’t score…
Sad about Malcolm Muggeridge too â CtSO
17 March 2016
bobby svarc
CSI has been repressed due to demand, don’t all rush at once as the Probe Departmental Store is open for business but is running on a reduced capacity until the 30th of April.
31 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Not exactly a PBR but…Guardian Crossword 26,842 31 Down ‘poor weather troubled idler’ answer “drizzle”. Opinionated crossword compilers, eh?
31 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Love your posts Bobby but can’t help feeling you’re a hyphen light here – looks like the Thatcherite Junta ((c) the Young Ones) has caught up with HMHB.
31 March 2016
dr desperate
Can’t help feeling that Guardian crossword clue is a couple of letters light, @DLPR.
Spoilers for those intending to enter the competition, but the puzzle was of the ‘Letters Latent’ type, with one letter of the alphabet (in this case Z) removed from each answer before entry, the wordplay referring to the grid entry.
In fact it was a ‘Double Letters Latent’, with each letter removed twice.
31 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Indeed DD but I couldn’t be arsed to explain all that! I’m about halfway through which may be about my limit.
31 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Actually no, it was the opposite, the letters had to be added before submission. So the wordplay referred to the answer before addition and the definition was the submission, which had the additional letters in. As if anyone cares.
31 March 2016
dr desperate
Sorry, you’re right, @DLPR, so not a standard LL then.
(As if anyone cares? If you think this site is pedantic, you should see some of the crossword ones.)
31 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
M is for the mistakes I often make, surely a bit of controversy is part of the board’s appeal?
31 March 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
Due to complaint’s.
For the large volume of recent posts.I will tone it down,and try not to use wiki@
6 April 2016
EXXO
On the plus side, in your own way you’ve done a lot for our appreciation of capital letters, punctuation and auxiliary verbs.
6 April 2016
Bobby SVARC
Pearson OUT!
6 April 2016
dr desperate
Complaints about large volume of posts and using Wikipedia?
(Ulp.)
6 April 2016
(NOt) locked in Rock City, Notts
Nice house for sale in Zeal Monachorumon on Escape to the Country yesterday. Definitely not a static caravan, and way beyond my price bracket.
9 April 2016
CHARLES EXFORD
Justice mail addressed to the dead. A glimmer of optimism 27 years on.
26 April 2016
dickhead in quicksand
A song
26 April 2016
CHARLES EXFORD
Which in turn brings to mind one of the cleverest pop lyrics ever written
Like a pop quiz in song form and that one lyric is a hundred times better than any stupid themed ‘feature’ on a 6Music show (yes you Gideon).
26 April 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Didn’t 6Music once run an “Irk the Purists” day?
Handy song, that. I’ve mislaid my
typedhandwritten list, but I seem to remember that 97 was missing from “Songs mentioning all numbers from 0 to 100”.27 April 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Grrr, no it wasn’t, I blame senility.
27 April 2016
Dave N Barbara
A friend of mine and his wife were in partnership together as dentists, with two practices in Cambridgeshire. They’ve decided to retire, having done alright for themselves. They sold the practice he mostly worked in a year or so ago. Hers went through today.
What’s Chatteris if she’s not there?
28 April 2016
EXXO
So yeah, as I said above, get on the overs on the corners. Have a bit more on the Sevilla game than the Liverpool one, but do both as singles and double it up as well.
Then find whatever the highest overs number is available and have a smaller double on that as well, like it might be over 14 and over 14. Bet365 is best for this.
5 May 2016
EXXO
Kinell Anfield lived up to expectations but after a juicy 9 corners in the 1st half in Sevilla, there were more goals than corners in the second half … mug´s game đ
Still, I know why I cheer for a corner.
5 May 2016
Dagenham dave
Quote from the new Man Utd manager…..
“Look, how many countries can you think of where a corner kick is treated with the same applause as a goal? One. It only happens in England. This is the only place where a corner kick is as good as a goal for the fans.”
23 May 2016
FLINTLOCK
I’m doing the Rock n Roll Liverpool Marathon tomorrow. There are going to be a lot of bands playing along the course, and I’m assuming that some of them will be LIPA groups.
I’ll be wearing a vaguely Dukla Prague/Motherwell coloured vest with “Play one the drummer knows” on the front and “Rock and roll is full of bad wools” on the back.
28 May 2016
Peter Mcornithologist
Great stuff Mr.Flintlock. If I had my original knees I would stand and applaud. Aye ,Motherwell that sleeping giant with the wonderful strip.
28 May 2016
FLINTLOCK
On my way home now. I passed by The Blob earlier on. Zero comments on my vest, unfortunately.
29 May 2016
bobby svarc
RIP Steve.
30 May 2016
ferenc puskas to you
So, I was idly looking on The Grauniad for the Euro quarter-final fixtures. They also showed some upcoming Champions League pre-qualification games to be held on Tuesday July 5th.
One of them was Tre Penne** vs. The New Saints FC.
âThe New Saints?â, I thought. Thatâs odd â Southampton must have an FC United type offshoot, I wonder why.
A quick Google revealed the full New Saints of Oswestry Town & Llansantffraid Football Club story, and the âdancing in the streetsâ quote. And a reference back to This One’s For Now.
And now Iâm here, and enlightened. All roads lead back to HMHB, really, donât they?
** Wiki: Tre Penne, of course, ply their trade at the Stadio Fonte dellâOvo in San Marino, taking their name from the three peaks of Monte Titano. They were established at the behest of the Segretraio Sammarinese Fascist Party, Manlio Gozi, in 1928. So, boo to them and come on you The New Saints (2-1 up after the home leg, oyez).
29 June 2016
EXXO
I can see where you’ve got that from, and it’s clearly been translated from the Italian version, but it’s wrong about the “3 peaks” thing. Tre Penne mean 3 feathers, as depicted on the coat of arms of both the club and the weird little principality.
Anyway as for the game in Oswestry last night, I myself cheered a great deal at the late flurry of corners as I clawed back much of my Euro 2016 deficit, a feat also aided by Jeunesse D’Esch simultaneously enduring less of an away defeat in Dublin than the bokies considered likely at half-time
29 June 2016
Davenbarbara
Ludicrous trot Paul Mason exposed as person who drives round with thousands in the bank.
https://twitter.com/paulmasonnews/status/748278078510596096
30 June 2016
paul f
Penne does mean feathers, but a further complication is that the San Marino coat of arms is actually three towers, representing the Guaita, Cesta and Montale towers that protected the city.
30 June 2016
EXXO
With the 3 stylised ostrich feathers above them. I don’t find it complicated.
30 June 2016
lee
Someone at the Guardian is a fan (see the last photo’s caption)
22 July 2016
D list paul roSs
Roger Dean on BBC4
22 July 2016
OLLIE THE SQUID’S LONG-SUFFERING GUITAR TECH
Just sold a tambourine on ebay and mailed it off to a woman who lives in Chatteris. Wonder if she plays percussion in the town hall band?
And a couple of days ago, I was at the front gate when a toddler ran by at full pelt. His mother – who was following on behind, pushing a baby in a stroller – yelled ‘Archie, stop! Archie!’. He was running in the direction of William Hill so, fair play to the kid, he was probably just trying to beat the afternoon rush.
1 August 2016
Mattkin-as-was
https://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2016/aug/22/personalised-number-plates-more-popular-than-ever?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
“Personalised number plates may still be seen by the nine out of 10 drivers in Britain who donât have one as the ultimate (and most embarrassing) proof of the super-rich inflated ego….” – that’s one way of putting it I suppose.
22 August 2016
John Anderson
I’m currently reading Brix Smith-Start’s autobiography and happened upon this on page 257 referring to her feeding swans at a residential recording studio:
“….under that surface was a fierce and swift power. A power, I heard, that could take down dogs or break you arm….”
Careful now, Brix.
26 August 2016
Michael avERY
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/when-youre-in-matlock-bath
Nice url
28 August 2016
dr desperate
This is a continuing story. See post 168 in the ‘first five years of PBRs’ at the top of this page for another HMHB-titled piece by Jim Waterson.
28 August 2016
Cygnus
Just returned from a long weekend near Welshpool as my youngest daughter was getting married nearby. The owner of the cottage where we stayed had listed the local towns and their attractions in a folder Rather pleasingly the only attraction listed for Montgomery was Bunner’s Hardware Store (sic); sadly I didn’t have time to browse there
ps .I did put a few Biscuit references in my speech but might as well have mentioned The Goodyear Airship.
29 August 2016
Ian a
Today, At a CD Record Fair in Penarth me and my 15 year old son pointed to an LP In the tubs. Next to it was Framptom Comes Alive! I laughed and explained to my son that if any album titled deserved an exclamation mark it was Framptom Comes Alive! “The best selling album of its time” said a man behind me gingerly embracing the margins and explained to me that the long haired man on the cover was now bald which is a lesson to us all but he is still rich. After a few minutes, I resisted his increasing attempts for me to purchase fore mentioned LP and left to look at what else was on offer.
4 September 2016
third rate les
Was paddling in the Devizes to Westminster kayak race at Easter; when you’re below head-height to a swan siting in a fragile and unstable boat, they’re no laughing matter, especially during nesting season. There’s one on the first stretch known affectionately as “Saddam” which even hardened paddlers will portage past to avoid confrontation. And naturally there was a lady on the bridge beforehand advising us to be careful not to break our arms.
Ten miles past that you get to the Bruce Tunnel; as you approach, the light at the end looks weirdly close, but once you’re inside it’s 700m or so of complete darkness. My first attempt it was so frightening I had to stop paddling completely, but during the race itself, we got through it by singing the whole of “the light at the end…” (which helps us stay in time too). Glad to say that my crewmate (and step-son) is now quite a big fan.
26 September 2016
GIpton teenager
My partner and I have just had a row on New Year’s Eve. (Actually, it was after midnight so technically New Year’s Day, I suppose, but I reckon it still stands). Happy bloody New Year everyone
1 January 2017
Ad
In Oxfordshire they are clamping down on ne’er-do-wells of the highest accord:
http://www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/county-council-to-crack-down-on-blue-badge-abusers-1-7753156
3 January 2017
Dagenham dave
All this talk about Everton signing Ishak Belfodil from Standard Liege makes me grin whenever I hear it.
12 January 2017
WARDEN HODGES
Have we? Sounds like something at a Lloyds Pharmacy.
12 January 2017
Mansfield’s very own
Only Connect surpassed itself today with a HMHB combo – the teams were The Korfballers v The Fire-Eaters.
13 January 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
Keeper you’ve just made a decent save.
Oh. Shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watchv=6jgRBiCYIXI&feature=youtu.be
30 January 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jgRBiCYIXI&feature=youtu.be
30 January 2017
dr desperate
I wonder what ‘trajikomik’ is Turkish for.
30 January 2017
hendrix-tattoo
@Exxo, Did you grow up in the Wirral?
If so you may find this interesting….
https://youtu.be/9IFASVqSozI
30 January 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
Some great memories there Tony, thanks. Like I’d forgotten we walked through the new tunnel in ’71 before HRH came to open it. Or the plague of ladybirds in ’76. I was also reminded how everything used to burn down eventually – New Brighton tower ballroom, Spillers mill and Birkenhead market to name but a few.
A scattering of PBRs too. Masses gather in Hoylake for the launch of a new RNLI lifeboat in ’76 and then immediately the Duke’s good lady wife is pictured at a garden fete.
That Co-op Swan Hill dairy was very close to where Mr. B grew up.
Anyway very grateful for that so I’ll let you off ‘in’ the Wirral this once, but next time it’s ‘on’, OK la? đ
30 January 2017
hendrix-tattoo
Nigel, I remember my old man taking me to the It’s a knockout in New Brighton in his old Cortina MK2.
I also think your mob need a win tonight, Ee Bah Gum….
31 January 2017
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Wouldn’t like to be an opinionated weather forecaster tangling with him…
http://www.fourfourtwo.com/news/zabaleta-when-i-go-holiday-i-miss-manchester-rain-its-true
2 February 2017
Mik Humber
In the first episode of the BBC’s Apple Tree Yard, two and a half minutes in a chap says, “you can reassure us professor, no 10 foot mice or triangular cows!!”
6 February 2017
Eric olthwaite
Gwatkin cider is being served in the Corner bar in Huddersfield. I wasn’t tempted though, I’m enjoying a nice pint of Mallinsons instead.
7 February 2017
Nigel
Could be a double PBR if one of them live in a council estate đ
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/NEWS/15085240.Police_plea_after_driver_shouts_at_teenage_boy_outside_Outlet_Centre/
11 February 2017
Nige
Having just seen “the great wall”, I was left wondering which other member of the cast knew Matt Damon at primary school
18 February 2017
this leaden paul
Tonight on Sky Arts, a new episode of Portrait Artist of the Year sees the contenders having to paint not just Rick Wakeman (still to be brought to justice for Tales From Topographic Oceans) but also Katie Kissoon.
Baffling.
21 February 2017
Gok wan acolyte
I’m sure I wasn’t the only person who thought we might get a PBR on University Challenge last night when the starter for ten was that contestants were asked to identify a Roxy Music song followed by a Talking Heads one, the link of course being Brian Eno. Sadly the bonuses were not further Eno collaborations but identifying cases of the first artist producing the second.
21 February 2017
dr desperate
Of all the depressing things that have happened in the past year, the most depressing was that none of the contestants on UC last night knew that ‘Virginia Plain’ was by Roxy Music.
21 February 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
@TLP Rick Wakeman left ‘Yes’ in a rare fit of good taste, ‘cos he hated TfTO. Musical differences. But most of his output I would agree, is worthy of retribution.
21 February 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
Incidentally, I never realised I was in any way arsed about ‘spoilers’ (not for Match of the Day, not for ‘Taboo’, nothing, I thought I was immune) until those last few posts.
In future any chance you could deploy UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE SPOILER ALERT in upper case?
21 February 2017
dr desperate
Apologies for the spoiler, @Exxo. This may act as recompense, if you’ve not already seen it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5X3gLwvrRI
22 February 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
You’ve provided more recompense than you realised. That video segged invlounarily into one on “Tom Hardy’s Top 10 Roles”, and as I’ve never ever knowingly seen him before (when ‘Taboo’ started I was surprised to find out he was already famous), so ta muchly, that was a useful catch up for me.
22 February 2017
Tim wain
Dele Ali evidently unaware that you can’t put your foot up in Europe you can’t raise a stud on the Nent and so on this evening against, of course, Gent. Splendid
23 February 2017
Thora Bird
Just the one Kit Kat?
24 February 2017
dr desperate
MASTERMIND / ONLY CONNECT SPOILER ALERT
One of the specialised subjects on tonight’s MM is Tranmere Rovers FC, while one of the teams on OC is the Korfballers.
(Wonder if Paul Nuttalls of the UKIPs has ever played korfball professionally.)
24 February 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
You haven’t got the hang of this yet have you, Doc?
‘Spoiler’ is when you tell me the answers (preventing me from showing that i knew them already).
‘Heads Up’ is when I go “ooh ta, I’ll have a watch (of Mastermind).” And doubtlesss I’ll be forced to endure OC passively at some point.
24 February 2017
Brumbiscuit
Bloody hell; ten years ago; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdOJziRZXIM Brilliant gig in a superb venue.
Who’s on the guitar (he asks in his ignorance)?
1 March 2017
CARRIE ANNE
@Brumbiscuit
From the oeuvre of Roger Green concerning the substitute guitarist – “..it’s either Carl with a round C or Karl with a kicking K.”
1 March 2017
Mcvitie surgeon
Have you ever considered what biscuit you would be half of? I think I’d probably be Half Man Half Hobnob.
2 March 2017
Peter Mcornithologist
Both Zaha and Arnautovic scored with aplomb .
5 March 2017
FLINTLOCK
Simon Armitage in the Guardian on “creative chaos, the cathartic effect of table tennis and writing on the undersole of a slipper”.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/mar/25/simon-armitage-language-is-my-enemy-i-spend-my-life-battling-with-it-
25 March 2017
dr desperate
I concur with him on the effect of the theme tune to ‘Antiques Roadshow’. Look out for someone wearing a Dukla Praha badge in the background of tonight’s episode from Burton Constable.
26 March 2017
Malcolm of Arimathea
“Fans still get very excited when their team win a corner but, in the Premier League, only three per cent lead to a goal.”
https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2017/mar/27/in-defence-of-the-corner-a-much-maligned-set-piece
I can’t be bothered to check whether there’s a reference to “This One’s for Now” in the comments.
27 March 2017
Paul f
There is now.
27 March 2017
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
What I thought was a quaint and dated reference in “Rod Hull” is apparently still a live issue with the triggering of Article 50. No survey data on the Watney Cup however
https://twitter.com/JoeTwyman/status/847017907800412160
29 March 2017
The harbinger of nothing
Half Man Half Brexit
30 March 2017
The harbinger of nothing
It’s a shame they didn’t get muddled up and trigger Biscuit.
30 March 2017
BRUMBSICUIT
Anyone else see the Channel 5 documentary about restless leg syndrome last night?
5 April 2017
GIpton teenager
Yes I did. My partner suffers from a form of this from time to time.
6 April 2017
John anderson
I’ve just had a leaflet through the door informing me that I live in a hard water area.
I’m trying to not let it get me down.
9 April 2017
Brumbiscuit
Driving back from Luton Airport on the M1 last weekend the inevitable roadworks appeared and I chanced upon a distance marker sign designated NB10. Seeing as I turned off on the M45 I cannot report if there is also an NB57.
15 April 2017
Ollie The Squid’s Long-Suffering Guitar Tech
From Laura Kuenssberg’s article on the election on BBC website yesterday:
‘One Conservative MP now describes it (the manifesto) as âmore gloomy than the Book of Revelationsâ.’
22 June 2017
Gazza
Always ahead of the curve; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-40409507
28 June 2017
Third Rate Les
Apparently the new MP for Bristol North West, Darren Jones, is the first ever MP called Darren.
Not long now…
28 June 2017
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
One we all missed a couple of months ago. Only disappointment is that Serbia don’t appear to have sent a team
https://ikf.org/u19kwc2017/
30 June 2017
Dagenham dave
Pedestrian etiquette …..
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/aug/10/london-jogger-barges-woman-urban-pavements?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
10 August 2017
Robin yotts
Shit arm…….
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-40898638
15 August 2017
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
It is a sign that I spend too much time on this site that my first thought on seeing this story was “Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-40898638
15 August 2017
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Robin What an amazing example of synchronisation
16 August 2017
BOBBY SVARC
Trades a bit slack, we need something to happen.
23 August 2017
Cream cheese and chives
On leaving my job as a deputy head teacher at a primary school this summer, I was presented with an array of very nice gifts. One of these was a selection of gins and tonic waters. These were packed in a box and surrounded by bubblewrap. The children were awestruck. ‘Give us (the) bubblewrap please.’
25 August 2017
dr desperate
Make it happen, Mr Site Owner.
25 August 2017
Chris The Siteowner
Can’t influence the one thing we all really want, sadly, but I am working on something fairly trivial here to tide us over for the next few years. Watch this space. And no, it’s not a new version of the Lux Familiar Cup where all voting has to be at 4.15am in China.
25 August 2017
BOBBY SVARC
New album title : Parkeston Keys…. Hopefully
26 August 2017
dr desperate
Like at Harwich (q v)? Really?
Don’t mess with us now Bob.
26 August 2017
BOBBY SVARC
Stale Craig’s first band đ
26 August 2017
Gregg Z
Someone on Twitter just posed the question: “What if Johnny Marr knocked on Nigel Blackwell’s door?”
I thought I might throw open the floor to you lot, to see what we could come up with. So far, I’ve got “Barbarism Begins at Scunthorpe”, “Last Night I Dreamt That Hermione Gingold Loved Me” and “A Rush, A Push and the Mint Aero is Ours”.
26 August 2017
Peter Mcornithologist
What about which coat you wish to acquire ? The monster The Captain wears on Trout Mask Replica .
27 August 2017
Gregg Z
My company furnishes an annual event for employees and their families. Here’s an unedited version of what’s in store this year:
Weâve added several new attractions this yearâŚThere will be hot dogs, burgers, pulled pork, sausage & peppers, chicken, salads, soft drinks, apple cider donuts, cotton candy, ice cream, popcorn, fried Oreos, funnel cake, a petting zoo, pumpkins, hay rides, boardwalk games, magicians, music, stilt walkers, face painters, inflatable slides, train rides and much more!
29 August 2017
JUST MARK
re: Blackwell/Marr – the lines ‘Hopes rise on the Grasmere, but honey-pie you’re not safe there, so you run down to the safety of the town; but there’s panic on the streets of Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee, Humberside’ would have stayed the same! Who knows, Morrissey may even have worn Bridgedales and visited Welsh peaks.
30 August 2017
Eric olthwaite
This weekend’s food trader has just pulled into the car park at Magic Rock Brewery Tap in Huddersfield. Hip Hop Chip Shop.
1 September 2017
D list paul ross
I looked again and it had updated. Wierd (sic).
2 September 2017
Michael
Even men with steel hearts…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPa7iWw3M24
7 September 2017
Brumbiscuit
Alas, poor Nigel: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41332138
(And it looks like lollipop men called Darren may be a passing thing â CtSO)
20 September 2017
Gok wan acolyte
Actually, to be pedantic (what – on this site?) we should hit peak Darren for a 10-15 year period, after which lollipop men (and women) will be replaced by robots and it won’t matter what they are called…
20 September 2017
M-A-U-G-E-R
At Wolverhampton’s fine speedway (Monmore, but no hares running) on Monday evening, I was talking to a friend on the car park. I stepped back and was almost hit by a car. Driven by Ian “Sludge” Lees.
29 September 2017
d List PAUL ROSS
Probably not a PBR, I’m sure Exxo will rule either way but I’m going on a stag do to Riga (q.v.) next month and we are going to have a go at bobsleigh (q.v.). When I told someone who isn’t going they said “I’d love to have a go at that”.
9 October 2017
Creamcheeseandchives
Have just received an email invitation to take a look at the new M&S advert. It seems that Angela Rippon is bringing us an update on Operation Less Pricks.
4 November 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
I was always going to end up sorting the Xmas mail at some point of my life. And it seems like a lifetime already after less than a fortnight. On my first ever shift I was already inventing ways to make the time go more quickly, and when I sorted a sequence of letters that went Bradford, Gipton, Totnes, York, well it was clear I was onto something. Unfortunately when on my second night I did a sequence that went Leeds, Bradford, Aldershot, Hay-on-Wye, Hebden Bridge, Hereford and Newton Abbot, I sensed that it was never going to get any better than this, and it never has.
I scored 4 goals in a Sunday cup match on 24th October 1988 and the feeling was very similar.
17 December 2017
Phyllis Triggs
Ah, you’re sorting Xmas mail. At least its not the all night garage!
17 December 2017
hendrix-tattoo
Good luck Exxo sorting the Xmas post, Being a postie myself I know how boring this task is.
17 December 2017
Brumbiscuit
My one and only Royal Mail Christmas was hellish. I was on deliveries and as I was a relief postie, I gleaned all of ÂŁ5 in tips.
17 December 2017
CHARLES EXFORD
So far it’s just trying to get some sleep and getting to work on the black ice that’s the problem for me. A few nights ago I came off me bike 5 times, always onto me arse thank goodness. Sorting is hell if it’s the main job of the night, but sometimes makes a good change from other tasks – mostly I’ve mostly been bringing the trolleys of parcels to the sorters, and I must admit I genuinely enjoy 5.30 am – 6.15 when we ship most of Yorkshire’s mail out. The agency though, as you would expect, are total fuckwit bastards operating the ultimate zero hours Thatcherite fantasy of abusing the the underclasses cos they can.
17 December 2017
BOBBY SVARC
Channel 5 at 9.00pm ‘Britain’s Favorite Biscuit’. I know they’re become very popular and should have an new album out within the next five years but this is ridiculous.
19 December 2017
gipton teenager
I remember, back when it was all fields around here, doing a test at the Royal Mail to see if I could work on the post for Christmas. I didn’t pass.
19 December 2017
dr desperate
Last time we saw Ken Dodd (the week before his 90th birthday) he said he liked to go into the sorting office behind Piccadilly at Christmas and watch all the Manc posties going “Sor’ed…sor’ed…sor’ed…”)
20 December 2017
GOK WAN ACoLYTE
A recent visit to bar of the Hotel Nacional in Havana, frequented by the ‘great and the good’ of Hollywood. music and literature in the 1940s/50s, revealed that next to the displays of Buena Vista Social Club members (not in itself a PBR) was a guitar donated by Peter Frampton. Exclamation marks (both in the upside down Spanish style and the usual English style) were sadly lacking
10 January 2018
johnnyoutofpipkins
Mr. Acolyte did you get three from each section on the fixed odds coupon?
10 January 2018
gok wan acolyte
Presented without further comment http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-42638258
11 January 2018
Nigel
Kendo Nagasaki name checked on Corrie tonight
29 January 2018
Schoon
I can’t find the train station Jukebox section, so I’ll post this here. Maybe this is common knowledge, but I was surprised to find a free Jukebox in St Pancras the other day, with what was listed as the Trumpton Riots EP. It did indeed play Architecture, MTAA before some knob put on Moon River and my train arrived.
11 February 2018
BoRough surveyor
Did some work for a guy named Hadleigh; he was based in Bridgwater. Job was troublesome.
2 March 2018
Peter gandy
Not the correct spelling, but towards the end of the second episode of ‘Below the Surface’ on BBC4 this evening one of the characters said “Get Cramer”.
Salamander is coming back soon so hopefully there’ll be some more Belgian clean up teams required.
17 March 2018
GIpton teenager
I’m watching on catch-up, so you just beat me to that one Peter. In true pendant style though it was the subtitle which read “Get Cramer”.
Eee, I don’t know, BBC 4, in Danish, subtitle spelt differently, Guinness West Indian Porter inside me (happy Paddy’s Day to all), and I STILL immediately think of HMHB. The power of the biscuit…
17 March 2018
GIpton teenager
Indies
18 March 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Political commentator Ian Dunt having a go at smiley faces in the Evening Standard weather forecast sounds somewhat familiar: https://twitter.com/IanDunt/status/984112501104238597
12 April 2018
NeilSER
Not long ago I was on holiday with my family in the Lake District. We were driving northwards on the A592, on the east side of Windermere, when we were passed at some speed by a police van with Mobile Forensics Unit emblazoned on the outside. I had a frisson of delight when I realised that it was heading in the general direction of Ambleside, but struggled to explain the significance of what Iâd seen to my wife.
25 April 2018
Dagenham daVe
Nice to see David Hasselhoff got the Farmfoods phone call.
https://youtu.be/9TBIIeZ1es4
1 May 2018
Paul f
Dean Friedman guested on Johnnie Walkerâs Sounds of the 70s this week, and the show opened with Boz Scaggs singing Lido.
7 May 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Anyone who’s following the latest reality show on Channel 4 “Where are we going to site our new HQ?” will be amused that the runners up prize is a Creative Hub http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-44304678
31 May 2018
brumbiscuit
Rod Hull’s Emu is still alive, why?
https://www.wigantoday.net/news/one-of-rod-hull-s-last-surviving-emu-puppets-bought-by-wigan-man-1-9188000
31 May 2018
Schoon
France v Peru, World Cup 2018. ‘France are one of those sides, a little lacksadaisical’.
21 June 2018
jeff dreadnought
Hey, Jason..
https://www.thegrocer.co.uk/stores/supply-chain/co2-crisis-now-frozen-food-is-hit-as-retailers-run-low-on-dry-ice/568526.article.
26 June 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Catching up with The Hotel Inspector, she visited in last night’s edition the Westward Ho! B&B. It was, of course, a massive let down. http://www.channel5.com/show/the-hotel-inspector/
27 June 2018
I, problem Chimp
‘That tune sounds familiar,’ I thought as I caught my five-year-old son humming a jolly little ditty to himself…
The sheer amount of HMHB I play in the car quickly became evident as he finished his song of with a rousing ‘Kendo Nagasaki!’
Note to self though – avoid playing the sweaty ones in future!
29 June 2018
TC
Bottleneck at Capel Curig today
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/localnews/2653850-capel-curig/5
1 July 2018
Len Hampson
In last night’s Denmark v Croatia match the commentator described Christian Eriksson as the ‘creative hub’ of the team. Disappointingly this wasn’t followed up with some trenchant advice on the care of his hedge.
2 July 2018
JD O’GLOVES
I heard that too Len and I too was disappointed there was no follow up!
3 July 2018
StevENage Adam
A work colleague is a big fan of swing dancing, to the extent that he does it competitively. A couple of weeks ago he was gearing up for a competition which was sadly called off at the last minute.
You can probably guess the rest.
4 July 2018
OLLIE THE SQUID’S LONG-SUFFERING GUITAR TECH
Last night, watching England v Colombia, my daughter, who is a fan of neither football nor HMHB, but who has – apparently – soaked up some essence of both over the years, said: ‘I bet that referee’s been saying the word ‘pleat’ a lot tonight…’
4 July 2018
BoRough surveyor
âCreative hubsâ getting plenty of mentions. No pne cares. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-not-home-channel-4s-1817158
23 July 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
It may be more how my mind works rather than a PBR, but this piece instantly put Children of Apocalyptic Techstep in my head: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44923744
24 July 2018
T.u.c.o.l.o.
It may be a massive letdown to reveal that actually, Westward Ho! has been very pleasant on both occasions I’ve visited this week (yes, good enough to go back). Even left the amusement arcade without feeling the victim of daylight robbery.
7 August 2018
TC
NorthWest Tonight BBC1 (7th August) two in a row:
– man tending the wrong grave (council moved the grave marker to an empty plot) followed by a drive-by shouting (homophobic abuse)
7 August 2018
nige
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-45111652
8 August 2018
Billybookcase
As already mentioned the story of man tending the wrong grave for 30 (23) years, then a question on The Chase about Kendo Nagasaki which amazed my sonâs mum that he knew the answer.
Then the icing on the cake, we were in a pub quiz and one question was name 5 towns in the UK beginning with B that have got a pier.
When we swapped quiz sheets with another team for marking at the end we saw that one of their answers was Broadstairs.
Cue me and my son bursting into a chorus of Sheâs in Broadstairs!!!!!
What a day!
9 August 2018
Third Rate Les
They’ve installed new traffic calming in our quintessential mountain village here, and as we were walking up the hill, She In Signal Red and two of her kids all said “hey look – prick barriers!” all at the same time.
Ah I was so proud.
9 August 2018
Dawlishian
Old news I guess: Just finished reading Cover Versions by Steve Hardstaff and right at the end he mentions the Half Man Half Biscuit Record Company. “In 1982 Nigel lent the name of his yet to be formed band for use as an identity for a record label”.
https://www.discogs.com/label/163244-Half-Man-Half-Biscuit
11 August 2018
EXXO
See also post 171 in the old media thread
http://www.halfmanhalfbiscuit.uk/hmhb-lyrics-quoted-media/
It’s easy to dismiss those Instant Agony singles covers at first glance as just the typical punk cut-up collages, but of their genre they are masterpieces, as you would expect from Mr. Hardstaff.
And I should have been at an Instant Agony gig on ‘Royal Wedding Day ‘ in ’81, rather than at the Queens up the road.
11 August 2018
AMOCO CADIZ
A little each way treble for today? Hee Haw (2.05 Ripon), Keswick (4.40 Newbury) and Hedging (7.10 Chepstow)
18 August 2018
Paul f
This has potential – the singer out of Slipknot currently on QI opposite huge Biscuit fan Ross Noble…
18 August 2018
Paul f
Sadly not.
18 August 2018
Gipton Teenager
I’ve just got down off my steps after singing along to ETABR, whilst cutting someone’s hedge.
30 August 2018
Gipton Teenager
I’m just having a pint (well 500 ml) of The Blandford Fly from Badger Brewery while watching knob heads on quiz shows and wondering what ‘Entirely Blameless ‘ would be like. A thin, insipid affair, or the sort of ludicrously strong beer a brewery would deny all knowledge of? (Apologies for ending a sentence with a preposition).
1 September 2018
And the fall
Denmark could pick a side including futsal players against Wales in the Nations League on 9 September.
Nuff did really.
4 September 2018
EXXO
I shouldn’t really admit that I’m aware of this, but a Murdoch-owned sport radio channel is about to broadcast episode 1 of a radio soap opera starring Wiggo as a rural cycle courier, as well as Alan Brazil in some capacity, called The Sturmey Archers.
9 September 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
This one just seems suspiciously perfect:
https://www.theguardian.com/football/video/2018/sep/05/charlton-fan-proposes-to-girlfriend-during-checkatrade-trophy-match-video
10 September 2018
paulmck
Listening to Paintball’s Coming Home today as I pulled up to a T-junction, I was delighted to be cut across by some tosser in a lemon-coloured Fiat, having noted NB’s reference to the same in the performance of PbCH at the O2 Academy back in June.
It’s the hope of occasional moments like this that gets me out of bed of a morning.
12 September 2018
kittymc
âThereâs clearly not much to do on a rainy day in Chatteris; thatâs why so many people are here,â said Robert, a local resident who said he had come down âto see what all the fuss was aboutâ.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/sep/20/like-shopping-30-years-ago-first-jacks-customers-sample-new-store
20 September 2018
kittymc
Ooh. Just read the article more … carefully.
“Vans with illuminated signs, parked at each end of the fenland townâs bypass signposted its arrival.”
Does this buttress the prick barriers? Philosophically, I would say yes, though it pains me, as it is Tesco’s we’re talking about. What a pickle!
20 September 2018
CArrie Anne
On todayâs Pointless, there was a round about films with birds in the titles.
I was faintly amused to see one of the the questions was â- Soup (1933, Groucho Marx)â. Even better, the answer put forward by the knobhead contestant was âChickenâ.
21 September 2018
mister tubbs
Last week on “Celebrity” Eggheads, the former BBC sports reporter Chris Hollins, whose dad was John Hollins of Chelsea and Arsenal fame, was selected for the sports round, one of his questions should’ve been right up his street – What position did Lev Yashin play? – Hollins’ response was “I’ve never heard of him!”
22 September 2018
EXXO
Given that we know from the last interview there has been a recent correspondence between Messrs Blackwell and Osman, I do suspect that rounds such as last week’s “words that end in …ock” have been very much inspired by the song. Art imitating art imitating life.
Karen (and all who intend to join the “tour” on Friday), email me to let me know when you’ll get to L’pool, I’m away a couple of days, but then I’ll work out on Monday night/Tuesday am what the exact itinerary will be, with options to leave on bus from Liverpool at 2.15 pm or for some to join us later on a bus leaving L’pool at 4.20 pm, when we’ll still be drinking in the Swan (yes I know I keep saying that – I just like the sound of it). I’ve had official permission to show you the house where HMHB was formed, which is just round the corner from the Swan. Back to L’pool at 6pm.
22 September 2018
cREAM CHEESE AND CHIVES
I couldn’t get the link to The Times where I first read it but it would seem that someone has certainly been analysing Strava .
/www.thesun.co.uk/news/7319698/cycling-bike-theft-strava-essex/
23 September 2018
Attempted moustache
Just been on foot to local post office and scored an HMHB Hat-trick!
1 – ignorant or oblivious or both – mothers with pushchairs running 2 abreast forcing ME onto a busy road to go about my business. Too busy gossiping and musing on which coffee shop to go to, to notice anybody else needing to safely use the pavements. I actually started singing the song at them as I passed feet in gutter…
It’s true… Hell IS other people.
2- bump into obnoxious former neighbour on exiting post office.. He’s walking their new German Shepherd puppy, it’s called Prince … Seriously. Kicked myself 3 seconds after moving on for not asking if it was a replacement for one called ‘Sheba’?
3 – the Piece de whateveritis… The most blatant case of ‘Blue Badge Abuse’ since I saw that Rolls Royce parked on a zebra crossing in Oxford in 1993. Dirty big Range Rover parked outside the local GP practice . Full leather, private plate, full pimp package and parked on a double yellow beside a bus stop , narrow road on a hill forcing everything into the hedge opposite to get past …and it could have done with a f*^%#’n trim as well!
Actually …does that make it 4 in 20 minutes? A record? Do I get to take the ball home?
BTW… (Chris) Is there a thread / page for photos? Got a cracker of the BBA for my personal amusement. Would be good to have an area where they could all be ‘outed’.
(There isn’t. But you can always stick ’em on Google Photos, Flickr or somewhere and link to ’em â CtSO)
24 September 2018
Gipton Teenager
Yesterday I saw a big, friendly bear (I suspect it was a man dressed up ) giving high 5s to small children outside the Trespass shop in Kirkstall and we’d just been shopping in the Aldi down the road.
30 September 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
No further comment required: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/45787622
9 October 2018
SPT
I know it’s a regular event but Totnes Eco-House Fair will always be a PBR winner. https://www.facebook.com/events/740728346270011/?ti=as
9 October 2018
Richard Parker
Donât go trying to organise my bat walk!
https://www.facebook.com/events/514676932334657/?ti=icl
11 October 2018
TC
Pumpkin Paramo?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-46018859/pumpkin-boat-paddled-down-river-ouse-in-york
5 November 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Had three in consecutive days:
Monica Galletti asking MasterChef contestants to make “two scotch eggs”. Sadly no-one served theirs with a Marmite garnish
Eric Knowles recounting the story of Eyam on Bargain Hunt
But the best has to be this story – someone has clearly taken the new album title to heart: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-46223406
16 November 2018
counterblast to agnosticism
Even men with steel hearts…https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/11/21/funniest-perfectly-timed-penalty-save-will-ever-see/
21 November 2018
Gazza
Strongly suspect a hat tip to Nigel going on here at 34.50 in.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0bsrqqp/impossible-series-5-episode-18
21 November 2018
El reducto
Subjected to ‘I’m a celebrity’ for a quick PBR double. It was in the kingdom of the bland (9 o’clock on ITV) and who else but NICK FUCKING KNOWLES.
22 November 2018
EXXO
Not impossible. But everyone thought (and quipped) that the name sounded like a nasty disease, or more than one, when we were kids.
22 November 2018
BOBBY SVARC
Half Model Half Finished ……From the very hand that built Bilston. I know a few of you like my work but bin it if it’s not required, Chris.
https://ibb.co/hEsoHA
22 November 2018
Chris The Siteowner
You’re kidding, it’s fabulous.
22 November 2018
hendrix-tattoo
I second that It’s brilliant, Bobby….
22 November 2018
Bobby Svarc
Cheers Chris, All sorts of stuff on website, 2 lads from the Wirral might be of interest to some on here.
http://www.modelstadia.co.uk
23 November 2018
cream cheese and chives
You are a genius. I was the kid who used to have to glue the transfers onto his Airfix kits.
You might like a book I saw reviewed recently.
https://www.londonreviewbookshop.co.uk/on-our-shelves/book/9781786890771/in-miniature-how-small-things-illuminate-the-world
23 November 2018
John Anderson
Dog on pitch during 3rd Test at Colombo
23 November 2018
Nigel, no not that one (nx3to)
… and a link to the song in the Guardian’s OBO coverage (over 66)
23 November 2018
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Gazza/Exxo (posts 357/359) – it was Terry Wogan who first made the comments about “Vitus Gerulaitis” being a disease on his radio show in the late 70s/early 80s, iirc
23 November 2018
EXXO
Well my grandad and my mate Jonny Wiggins were both, separately, doing it in 1975.
But then we did hail from an AoONS.
23 November 2018
dr Desperate
Sarcasm? Slyness? Scouseness?
Barry Lorge wrote in The Washington Post in 1977: “After several years, the research seems conclusive. There is no cure for Vitas Gerulaitis.”
His real name was Vytautas, you know, after the 15th century king of Lithuania (not sure where his middle name Kevin came from).
His death at age 40 could have been avoided with a carbon monoxide alarm.
24 November 2018
murf (MOVED TO THE KESWICK AREA. NO COFFEE)
2 PBRs on the BBC today.
The King Of Hi-Vis spotted on the A38
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-46454654
And South American men have their steel hearts melted (well, at one end anyway – can’t imagine one set of fans was that smiley)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/46453844
5 December 2018
EXXO
After two mentions of that Argentinian dog save on here yesterday, one on the radio, one on a podcast I was listening to and two each on other forums, I knew what Mrs. Exford was about to say when she came in from 5-a-side last night. “Do you want to see a video of a dog … ?” Unfortunately my response was the reflex “Seen it”, before the more diplomatic response “Ooh yes please, my love” had a chance to kick in.
Still, we got a classic “lacksadaisical” from Danny Murphy on MOTD last night.
6 December 2018
TC
Not quite a Nazi war criminal jigsaw but I’m sure Bunners would stock @Coldwar_Steve advent calendars. Todays offering is Slobodan Praljak
https://twitter.com/i/status/1076784940677779456
23 December 2018
transit full of keith
I’m pretty sure ‘Coldwar Steve’ is a Biscuit fan. Some of the D-list celebrities that repeatedly crop up in his collages have been name-checked in the songs, but exhibit A for me has to be this one: https://twitter.com/Coldwar_Steve/status/1073141519912198145
(I would have a word, but I’ve not had my dinner).
23 December 2018
AMOCO CADIZ
Just seen the MP for Totnes discussing Brexit…canât help but think thereâs a song title in there somewhere but all I can come up with are Leaving Order Squabble Fest or Hair Like Theresa May Blues…any other ideas?
21 January 2019
Third Rate Les
We’re in Marrakesh where I’ve managed to procure a Burberry Fez in the souk. Picture to follow soon, or coming to a gig near you…
But She In Signal Red woke up this morning wondering if it is in fact a Berber-y Fez? Now there’s an interesting question.
The night porter here is a Berber so I’ll ask him if they have them.
10 February 2019
dr desperate
Very interesting indeed, @Les, especially as ‘Barbary’ (as in ‘Corsairs’) is a corruption of ‘Berbery’.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Atlas_Van_der_Hagen-KW1049B13_057-BARBARIA.jpeg
As Exxo noted in 2015, coincidence unlikely.
10 February 2019
dr desperate
Sorry, wrong link there, unless you speak Dutch. It should have been this one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_Coast
That’ll teach me to try and Cut and Paste from a telephone (no it won’t).
10 February 2019
Third Rate Les
Ik sprek ook nederlands
Dank uw wel!
That’s really interesting.
10 February 2019
GORDON BURNS
Chapter 14 of The Closed Circle, by Jonathan Coe.
“A visitor to the tiny Cotswold village of Little Rolllright…”
17 February 2019
Steve Townsend
Wakefield food/drink festival. And a stall for gwatkins farmhouse cider& Perry. Based in Herefordshire new to me,but makes a bit more sense.made me laugh. Nigel ,if it was the basis,you really are clever “what the fuck were we drinking” mmm I wonder
22 February 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
That bobbing up and down thing, explained apparently
27 March 2019
Peter Dust
My tribute to HMHB
http://ltstardust.co.uk/chasndave.jpg
3 April 2019
Brumbiscuit
Whilst in Lavenham yesterday, I popped into a deli and saw scotch eggs on offer at ÂŁ1.20. The poor lady behind the counter looked bemused when I asked for two and a jar of Marmite. My sniggering mate didn’t help. Sometimes one has to grasp such opportunities…
7 April 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
A million HMHB fans everyday, make the same reference to the new Royal baby’s name. What an amazing example of synchronisation!
8 May 2019
The harbinger of nothing
I noticed this morning that the train I was on called at an impressive five HMHB-referenced places:
Swindon
Bath (no longer in Avon)
Newton Abbot
Totnes
Plymouth (slightly tenuously, but I think it counts*)
Can anyone beat that? I’m sure there will be more somewhere on the Wirral peninsula.
*At least I didn’t count Par. That would be too tenuous. Don’t want to make it too easy…
16 May 2019
The harbinger of nothing
The train, of course, originated from London. Not the Planetarium, but it counts. That makes it 6 on one journey.
16 May 2019
dr desperate
Though you may not have stopped there, @THoN, I presume you also passed through Dawlish (and the Slough of Despond).
16 May 2019
parsfan
Any on platform 3?
16 May 2019
The harbinger of nothing
The train will have done… but, sadly, without me on it. I got off at Bristol, which is something of an HMHB dead zone.
17 May 2019
Edward Ian L’Ampoon
Last year while staying in Hay on Wye, I had the pleasure of sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob. Due to a painful corn on the ball of my foot which had been troubling me for some time, I got my wife to drop me off at the Gospel pass car park. I was wearing a Tresspass jacket at the time which annoyingly was without an inside pocket. Does 5 PBRs in one morning entitle me to therapy. Looking forward to Edinburgh.
5 June 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Listening to the new Divine Comedy album at the weekend, I noted that one of the songs features both Epiphone guitar and Katie Kissoon on backing vocals. Clearly Neil Hannon has yet to cast lad rock aside.
10 June 2019
paul f
I’ve just had one of those weird circular reference conversations. At the weekend, at a work event, a fellow 50-year old was telling me about a party where people were required to name their first album and first gig in order to build up a playlist for the evening. One of the attendees apparently was lucky enough to count HMHB as his first gig, so we got talking about my love for the Biscuits.
Today I was back in after a business trip, and the aforementioned colleague was saying that in my absence he’d been educating another colleague of similar vintage about HMHB. Apparently the prompt for this had been sweary bands, as the other colleague had been talking about the Dead Kennedys. At this point I mentioned that coincidentally I had once seen the band perform Holiday in Cambodia at a gig.
As it turned out, what had prompted the conversation in the first place, was yet another colleague saying he was going on holiday to Cambodia. Head, Spinning.
12 June 2019
Embrace the margin
…in church hall if wet.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-48627574
13 June 2019
MATT
Blue badges: Task force launched to tackle parking permit fraud – https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48640448
Fetch my stick Margaret….
15 June 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Double one here:
a) Her Majesty – Marvellous!
b) it seems we now need to leave our hearts in Royal Papworth Hospital NHS Foundation Trust
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-48923065
9 July 2019
Edward Ian L’Ampoon
Today Daily Mail, Quick Quiz (I did not buy it and will fight any man who say’s that I did).
Question 2. In which sport did Fred Titmus represent England from 1955-1975?
18 July 2019
Lord leominster
I don’t think I need to explain.
Driver charged after roof ripped off bus in Fauldhouse bridge crash https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-49166689
30 July 2019
lord leominster
Of course what I should have said was: âHe really doesnât know the routeâ
31 July 2019
brumbiscuit
At work today I happened to be around when Rob, the DHL driver appeared. Him being a Villa fan, I’m not normally one to value his opinion, of course, but today was very different. I distinctly heard him sing the words: ‘Every time I bell rings, I hate you some more’. So he has partially redeemed himself by virtue of his choice of music. We’ll have to agree to disagree about Chatteris though, Rob…
31 July 2019
Lord leominster
Looks like they received the long-range from the Met. Hope they told the bands.
Boardmasters: Weather safety fears cancel music festival https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-49259812
7 August 2019
dr desperate
You can still watch the surfing part of the festival down on Fistral Beach.
7 August 2019
Two faT feet
Aran Fawddwy. Massive letdown.
8 August 2019
this leaden paul
Pointless Celebrities, repeated yesterday, displaying the “talents” of both Martin Jarvis and Robin Askwith, with a round on winners of the Overseas Sports Personality of the Year – 1997 not included, sadly.
12 August 2019
Simon
The front page of the Grauniad website currently introduces a Hinkley Point C headline with the words “Trouble over Bridgwater”.
15 August 2019
Chris The Siteowner
Comment underneath this clipping on the Facebook group says: “Can confirm that Guardian media editor responsible for this headline is indeed a Biscuits fan, I gave him a lift to one of his first Biscuits gigs Ulverston about 10 years ago when he was a young student, he’s seen them a few times and couldn’t resist this opportunity for a reference.”
15 August 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Not quite sure where to post this, as there isn’t a general discussion thread and it’s not in anyway a PBR, but Liverpool musician Andy Holland, whose various bands recorded on Probe Plus and who played banjo on Voyage to the Bottom of the Road, passed away at the weekend.
(I didn’t know him, but follow his wife on Twitter and when I saw the connection I thought a few of the long-standing Liverpool based fans may know him)
More here: https://www.facebook.com/notes/cath-holland/a-few-things-about-my-husband-andy-that-people-may-not-know/10157068405786858/
20 August 2019
EXXO
Thanks for posting that sad news. Didnât know much about him, but heard some of his work with the very fine Liverpool bands heâd been in. Thatâs a really beautiful post from his partner there, and linking from there, his Facebook shows that even that platform is sometimes capable of showing you many beautiful things – look who and what he was connected to in creativity, music politics, education and love â he lived a great life and spoke strongly for what was right (fine rants on a blog of his I’ve seen too). Clearly, to paraphrase one (⌠or two) of his fellow Merseyside musicians, he had a heart as big as LiverpoolâŚ
(⌠rather than just a liver as big as Hartlepool, like mine).
Maybe these comments could be moved to the âOther Bandsâ thread?
20 August 2019
BOBBY SVARC
My mate Simon Kimber, freelance football snapper, was at a game the other week at Grantham Town who were playing Nuneaton Borough. To his surprise the half time playlist included DPAK. Chapeau to the bloke who does the PA at GTFC.
22 August 2019
JODRELL BANKSY
There’s already one Gouranga sing-along in the comments; maybe one of youse is wjelly? https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2019/aug/27/who-is-helch-graffiti-artist-the-queen-upset-windsor-castle-give-peas-a-chance-petition
27 August 2019
Lord leominsteR
I went for a walk today along The Long Mynd, south Shropshire. Fine views all round: to the east, The Wrekin, to the west, Stiperstones.
1 September 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Health and Safety gone mad! Carving up cows with an equilateral chainsaw was ok in the 70s and 80s, but these days you’re not even allowed to throw the result at your mates…https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-49577040
4 September 2019
lord leominster
Wrightbus: sorry, not in service any more
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-49801334
25 September 2019
Brumbiscuit
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/sep/30/thats-got-to-be-a-joke-name-country-pub-holds-nigel-themed-party
30 September 2019
Gipton Teenager
Last full day in Turkey. 10 minutes ago my partner was taking a picture of particularly low clouds while sheltering under a tree. She was narrowly missed by a couple of items. The closest I’ve ever seen to somebody being pelted with figs.
8 October 2019
The harbinger of nothing
Every time I see Robert Kubica walking through the Formula 1 paddock, I can’t help but think to myself… “You’ve got a shit arm”.
13 October 2019
The harbinger of nothing
Currently playing on Gideon Coe, three songs from the Festival Hall, London, 1998:
Bad Review
Running Order Squabble Fest
Deep House Victims’ Minibus Appeal
For anyone with a BBC Sounds app… It started just before 11.30, or 2.5 hours into the programme. Which, in case anyone is particularly uninitiated, was on 6 Music.
17 October 2019
Dagenham dave
Going to Parbold tonight, need to be there by seven.
18 October 2019
brumbiscuit
I really don’t know where to put this, if at all, but hey-ho:
Due to domestic upheaval I’m having to reduce my bike collection down to a more manageable level; i.e. single figures! Some are easier to sell than others, but I thought I’d put Harry up for offers here first, seeing as there might be an equally obsessive fan amongst us.
Harry is a genuine Harry Quinn-framed bike – on the register here: http://classicrendezvous.com/British_isles/Harry_Quinn/HQuinn_registry.htm (search for Q4210) with a lilac, powder-coated frame in Reynolds 531 tubing. The equipment is Shimano Exage in a sort-of matching blueish tinge.
He’s a small bike not really suited to my size, so hardly ever gets out, except for HMHB gigs.
There’s a picture linked from the register and he’s in pretty much the same condition now. If I were to be picky, the bar tape could do with replacing. One of the rear dropouts has been rewelded due to a stupid mistake I made when trying to remove the freewheel! The repair is stronger than the original – I was assured – but the powder coating is absent where the repair was done. I’ve ridden it without issue and I’m no lightweight. The price expectations will be suitably lowered to take this into account, however…
…Harry, ironically, will not be going for a song, so dig deep if you’re interested. I’m open to offers, of course, but please do your research before making an offer, as a ‘bugger off’ can often offend…
Should one of the band be interested, I’ll do a deal if Prag Vec at the Melkveg is played at Bilston đ
19 October 2019
brumbiscuit
It’s worth pointing out that the Quinn family eventually sold up and the name ended up being put on bikes really unworthy of the brand. Such an example can be found here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Harry-Quinn-Racing-bike/183874004829?hash=item2acfbea75d:g:hIgAAOSwCwxdGgjN – mass-produced crap, rather than the hand-crafted one-offs that were lovingly made oop north.
19 October 2019
Lord leominster
Nice Harry, Brum. Do you know much about Ron Coopers? I have a 1973 one that I bought in 1982 and foolishly ‘upgraded’ (including a horrible respray) over the years. Now I am thinking about a complete restoration to original colour and condition – Campag Nuovo Record groupset. Classic.
19 October 2019
brumbiscuit
I’m afraid I’m no expert on the smaller frame builders, other than the ones that were local to me. Up to the 70s, maybe the 80s, there was usually a builder crafting bespoke frames in an area. The local cycling clubs would be his – nearly always male – main customers.
@LL: Your Ron Cooper could well be a similar frame. Built up with the Campag gear you mention and a decent colour and it would probably be a work of bicycling pulchritude. I have a Campag rear mech for Harry, but never got round to fitting it. The Exage groupset is indexed, but currently switched to friction, so the Campag mech would work.
20 October 2019
Lord leOminster
Thanks, Brum. My vocabulary has once again been increased by this pulchritudinous site.
Over the last few months I have quietly been buying contemporaneous components for Ron. I will be funding the restoration project from the proceeds of disposal of my Dura Ace 9 speed equipped Colnago Dream. The Dream is a very nice bike but I never rode it very much and it’s just sitting in my shed looking pretty. I’m looking forward to getting out into the lanes with Ron again.
20 October 2019
Bobby Svarc
It’s 34 years tonight that Mr Peel unleashed them to the nation.
22 October 2019
Alice van der meer
Apropos of bicycle talk, my modern Dawes commuter wouldn’t get any of you excited, but if any of you were watching Junk & Disorderly last night, that was me taking a test ride on the rather lovely French Pelliser (?) they were trying to flog. If I’d had a bigger shed (and it wasn’t vulnerable to arson, being so close to the Rollright Stones) I’d have been very tempted…
34 years? Blimey, I was 13 and can fairly safely say I’d never heard of John Peel, never mind HMHB.
22 October 2019
Bobby Svarc is
It would be a further 9 months later that I first heard them, see ‘A Very British Odyssey’. Now we’ll into my seventies it still only feels like yesterday.
22 October 2019
Bobby Svarc
It would be another 9 months before I had the pleasure, see ‘A Very British Odyssey’ by Peter Ross. Now we’ll into my seventies it it still only feels like yesterday.
22 October 2019
lord leominster
Oh my Good Godalming. I just googled ‘A Very British Odyssey’ and found the Big Issue 2016 Peter Ross article. I had previously suspected, but it has now been confirmed, that I am not worthy to put HMHB related quiz questions to the doyens of HMHB history and culture. One of my questions was going to be “who’s grave in the churchyard of St Lawrence might be of particular interest to the local historian?” What the f*ck was I thinking?
22 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Leo, don’t be soft. Carry on with your quiz questions, they keep semi brain dead old farts like me going especially the barren periods on here of no gigs to read about. I’m hoping to go to the Rock City Notts in 2020 although, coming from gods own county, I’ll have to go incognito and cover up my tattoos.
22 October 2019
dr desperate
A more pertinent question, @Bobby: “well into my seventies”?
22 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
I was 43 in 2003 when Mr Brain Hem came knocking. I was told that every year I lived after then was a bonus so I decided to double up on each birthday. Now, when you and the good lady come to my sixtieth next June in my world it will be my 77th. Am I mad? probably đ
22 October 2019
lord leominster
OK, Bobby. No pressure, then. I will try to make it a bit wider then simply being required to know some song lyrics.
22 October 2019
cream cheese and chives
@Leo I feel your pain or at least I used to. Titans of trivia and peerless in their pedantry, I viewed the contributors to this site with awe and reverence. And then I met some of them. They are like us. They sit, they talk, they drink. Why,like royalty, they even go to the toilet.
They may pour scorn on your quiz at the secret rendezvous they may organise away from prying eyes but I doubt it . They would never tell you on here, of that I am sure. Believe in yourself and share your quiz. Ignore the doubts within. Publish and be damned! The lower the level of expertise required the better as far as I am concerned. It would be nice to score more than three and to go into a weekend with a spring in my step. I mean what was the name of the dog that found the Jules Rimet trophy?
22 October 2019
lord leominster
Without checking, I would say ‘Pickles’ but for some reason ‘Brambles’ has also popped into my head. I just checked – Pickles.
I can also confirm that the capital of France is Paris [Not the 9 O’Clock News – circa 1980].
22 October 2019
dr desperate
When’s that Pickles question due, Pete?
22 October 2019
cream cheese and chives
Right after the one about the theme tune to Porridge.
22 October 2019
Lord leominsTer
No opening theme tune, just a prison sentence being handed down by R Barker to R Barker.
22 October 2019
cream cheese and chives
@Leo You see. You CAN compete!
I have just come across Tony Jacklin suggesting that a group of surnames including two Gallaghers belonged to ‘The Bernard Gallagher Band’. It seemed to be a rerun of something. Celebrity Knobheads on Quizshows perhaps
If you want a good grave stone visit Ulpha churchyard and seek out that of James Crosbie Jenkinson who died, a victim of the ‘pelting of the pitiless storm’ on 1.1.1826. I hope he had had a good New Year’s Eve at least.
22 October 2019
KEN DONAGASAKI
I drove to the recent gig in Cambridge with HMHB blasting out of my chariot’s sound system. On reaching the venue i was wondering how far away i would need to go to find a parking spot. For a laugh, i drove around to the front of the venue to see if there was any parking and guess what, i found half a dozen vacant blue badge spaces and then a second later the next track started…. you guessed it, “Blue Badge Abuser”. Spooky. I parked half a mile down the road.
28 October 2019
Gipton Teenager
Not really a PBR, but the Christmas message from Fascinating Aida carries a very similar sentiment to “It’s Cliched To Be Cynical At Christmas “.
It’s a bit more, shall we say…direct. Check out the video.
8 November 2019
EXXO
Hmm.
You must be getting really excited today though Tony … it’s beginning to feel a lot Palindro-mas.
8 November 2019
EXXO
like
8 November 2019
professor Abelazar Woozle
Stretching the definition of a PBR a tad, but having heard on the news this morning about the earthquake in Somerset and where the epicentre was, my immediate thought was “Trouble Under Bridgwater”….
6 December 2019
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Not technically a PBR, more a reflection on the way the band work their way into your consciousness – my first thought on hearing of the death of Kenny Lynch today was “is he mentioned in a HMHB song?”
18 December 2019
BOBBY SVARC
A Model that I made a few years back with a few HMHB references
https://ibb.co/6gPQ1Vd
19 December 2019
PoopLeby
Just caught sight of Nick F….. Knowles on telly, on the Fifth Day of Christmas. How timely.
29 December 2019
Bobby Svarc
You might like this piece from my mate Hutch.
https://www.lcfc.com/news/1550068/former-player-remembers-bobby-svarc
30 December 2019
Gok WAN Acolyte
So who else wondered if he writes on the soles with a biro?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-51020104
8 January 2020
Mr Larrington
BBC London TV news just now. Featured Ken Hom and Gok Wan* in the same piece.
* If he had any acolytes along they were being kept out of shot
24 January 2020
Robertofblaby
Joy in Edinburgh for sure…
Dutch city flies Scottish Saltire in place of Union Flag – https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-51363108
3 February 2020
professor abelazar woozle
Everyone in my office got called to a mandatory meeting on Tuesday, no surprises about what we were told was going to happen to us. All together now, “Turned Up, Clocked In, Laid Off”….
p.s. we’re not getting axed immediately, but we put the message out on linkedin and we’re getting offers so things aren’t looking too bleak at this point of midweek.
6 February 2020
professor abelazar woozle
Doh – should put my (admittedly frazzled) brain in gear before posting and get the song title right…..
6 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
Either way, bugger! At least you don’t have the risk of landing a job at DFS and not getting paid for the first five years.
Good luck getting something.
6 February 2020
Alice van der meer
Ah, feck it, Prof, that stinks. Second person I’ve heard it happen to today, as well. Good luck!
6 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
Sorry to hear that Prof. Hope you’re able to access support of a union rep, if not, check your rights: ACAS has some useful stuff online.
6 February 2020
professor abelazar woozle
Thanks guys, I am a union member so I do have full support, our rep is in our office so the same boat as us! It’s a bugger as we’re a good team and worked well together, but the bean counters at the top have decreed there must be sacrifices to appease the great god share-price and protect their bonuses….
6 February 2020
P-Orridge
Harsh times in Umberstone Culvert
BBC News – Throbbing Gristle’s Genesis P-Orridge dies aged 70
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-51893184
15 March 2020
Borough SURVEYOR
Almost every time I hear about self-isolation I think of âman of constant sorrowâ.
15 March 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I’ve been thinking of Eyam, strange as it may seem. (As has someone at the Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/15/eyam-derbyshire-coronavirus-self-isolate-1665-plague).
15 March 2020
Lord leominster
The Eyam story has reminded me of the (possibly prophetic) lyrics from Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis, which seem appropriate just now.
“Why do that today when you can always put it off until tomorrow?
Was our motto
Subsequently engraved on a plaque
As a reminder of the attack
Of Vitas Gerulaitis
We all fall down….”
15 March 2020
Bobby Svarc
To help me from going sane in these mad time I’m working on a small diorama of a scene at a butchers shop in Bradley. The principle star of the show will be along shortly, he’s had a puncture.
https://ibb.co/XCkW5Gk
25 March 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Ripping work Bobby. I take my wig off to you.
25 March 2020
lord leominster
Top, top, diorama.
25 March 2020
dr desperate
Excellent new diorama for spring.
26 March 2020
Bobby Svarc
Mr Davitt?
Aye
Neville Davitt?….
https://ibb.co/qY22j9n
26 March 2020
lord leominster
In a similar vein, there is a J. Jones Family Butcher in Thetford, Norfolk, where the location scenes for Dad’s Army were filmed.
https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/3231436
According to what one hears, the proprietor keeps a ‘sausage list’ of favoured customers. But if your name’s not on the list, don’t panic!
26 March 2020
Bobby Svarc
A sad day, it”s finished.
https://ibb.co/vHTCHpx
31 March 2020
lord leominster
I’d never really thought about it before, but ‘family butchers’ is a somewhat macabre description, don’t you think? Perhaps after availing oneself of the services of a family butcher it would be time to go browsing round hardware shops.
31 March 2020
Bobby Svarc
With Frank Worthington?
31 March 2020
dr desperate
When my kids were little they enjoyed the Richard Scarry picture books, which featured anthropomorphic animals in the work environment. The Busytown butcher, who was depicted standing at a block festooned with bacon, hams and sausages, was a pig.
31 March 2020
Lord leominsTer
Apart from on this site
where else on earth
can you hear the word âfestoonedâ being used?
31 March 2020
Lord leominster
It fits, and besides itâs a good word.
31 March 2020
BOBBY SVARC
60th Birthday Bash is OFF. Sorry and all that.
2 April 2020
WARDEN HODGES
Understandable that Svarc, would have been a fine Leicestershire night. Best wishes n stuff.
2 April 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Aww what a shame Micky, So sorry man….
3 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
It’s a bit of a bummer Tony but It will happen, hopefully, this year. Like I’ve just said to young Karen, “next year is no time to be 61”
3 April 2020
WARDEN HODGES
I think it would have been Italy v Suisse that night as well. Must check my virtual wallchart.
3 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
The what3words GPS app, that is being adopted by the emergency services, divides the entire surface of the planet into a grid of squares. Each square measures 3 metres by 3 metres and is given a unique three-word address.
We need something to look forward to when the lockdown is over and we can once more venture out into the great wide world. So, how about a trip to Queensland, Australia where, between Gregory and Lawn Hill you could stand and have your photo taken at asparagus.next.left
Alternatively, you would need to travel near Zeya in Amur Oblast in SE Russia to find depressed.beyond.tablets. You’ll need your big coat if you go in winter.
asparagus.next.left and depressed.beyond.tablets are approximately 6,000 miles apart as the crow flies on the global mileage chart.
There are some near misses. Just outside Guadalajara Mexico, where Gordon Banks made that save from Pele in 1970, is lock.mountain.bikes. You’ll find keeping.chevrons.apart near Ostrovnoy in the Murmansk region of Russia and thereâs a running.order.squabble in Western Australia.
9 April 2020
Chris The Siteowner
Ooh, this is brilliant, @IS. Here’s one in the middle of nowhere in Alaska.
9 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
I would suggest that the first person to discover asparagus.next.left should leave a sign, making it easier for the next traveller to locate, but that may raise seasonal vegetable expectations that couldn’t be met.
9 April 2020
Chris The Siteowner
A lot of them are in the middle of nowhere, aren’t they? Mind you, this one’s near Nashville, so has a bit more pedigree.
9 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Yes, the middle of nowhere, which is why it would be useful to know your what3words reference if you were lost in, say, a vast Canadian forest, so that the Mounties could pinpoint where you are and rescue you. Of course, a lot of the squares are in the sea.
9 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
badger.entirely.blameless, for example, is in the Indian Ocean, south of the Maldives.
9 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
And this.sumptuous.hacienda is in the Southern Ocean off Antarctica. Sorry, I’ll stop now.
9 April 2020
transit full of keith
Intriguing to see that biscuit.lyrics.project is located in the Faroe Islands. Chris, is this site now coming to us from your turf-roofed North Atlantic plague bunker?
9 April 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Depressed.beyond.tablets may be in Zeya in Amur Oblast in SE Russia, but gone.beyond.pills is nestled on the shores of Lake Erie northeast east of Cleveland, Ohio. That must mean something, right?
9 April 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Man, this is twistedly fun. During what was obviously a slow day at work, I discovered that:
“room.look.bigger” is in southwestern Russia, near the Black Sea,
“final.dressing.gown” is in south-central Russia,
“hospital.parking.scheme” is in the Pacific Ocean, some 4000 km west of Ecuador,
“spoiling.good.friday” is in northern Australia (not far from asparagus.next.left, actually),
“crazy.razor.headlock” is in southwestern Colombia (due east of hospital.parking.scheme),
“deacon.misguided.trousers” is in northern India, outside New Delhi,
“train.replacement.service” is in the Yukon territory, right near the Alaska border,
“keyboard.player.required” is just east of Moscow,
“boulders.strewn.between” is in the South China Sea, off the east coast of the southern tip of Taiwan,
and my favorite find of all, “hello.spinal.curvature” lies deep in what appears to be a completely unpopulated area of western China.
9 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
This is brilliant! “Man” appears to be too short a word, but half.half.biscuit is near Khamis Mushait in Pakistan.
You can get chips.with.apricot in Tacna, Peru. Junior.kick.start must have been filmed near Bangor, Maine. The dropkicked improv.work.shop mimeshow gobshite actually landed in the sea off Cascais, near Lisbon.
And if you’re passing through one day, you might find a post.punk.postcard fair on near Sibiu in Romania.
10 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
However, you are unlikely to find spin.drifts.stinging your remaining eye near Qoryooley, Somalia. And the singer.slip.knots (close enough) will be disappointed not to find the Pope in a suburb of Bedford.
10 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
This is just too addictive…
27 yards.dental.floss have been found floating in the Pacific, north-east of Easter Island.
Murray, Kentucky, is a busy.little.market town.
If I had possession.over.pancake day, I would be in pretty much the dead centre of the Pacific.
Your happy.lounge.label mates are to be found near Vilhelmina in Sweden.
Careful not to get get stuck.horn.beam near Las Vegas.
Take Bobby to the ideal.home.show near Sao Miguel do Araguaia, Brazil.
And there is surely nothing worse than.washing.sieves in Pangnirtung, Nunavut, Canada.
I’m going to stop now.
10 April 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
@HoN, I think you’re right about “Man”, as it appears that the words have to be at least four letters long. I did find “half.many.biscuits” in southern Queensland, but that’s not even close, is it?
I really don’t want to clog things up with all the near-misses, but while hard at work yesterday I saw tending.wrong.grace, tending.wrong.gave, tending.wrong.pave, tending.wrong.save, tending.wrong.brave, tending.wrong.grad, tending.wrong.cave, tending.wrong.grab, and even tending.wrong.rave (is that possible?), but, alas, no tending.wrong.grave.
10 April 2020
Gagarin
Does that mean there is no first.man.space? Disappointing. What about first.into.space?
10 April 2020
EXXO
@Steve
This hadn’t really grabbed me until an opportunity for my true vocation of pedantry arose, combined with my modest knowledge of Arabic place names and geopolitics.
The Khamis Mushait in question is in Saudi Arabia, and although it means “Thursday market” (you’ll find Khamis Mushait’s the best), it is most famous for a huge airbase where Brits and Americans train Saudis to use Brit and US-made equipment to bomb the crap out of Yemeni villagers who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wish half.half.biscuit was somewhere else.
10 April 2020
EXXO
Apologies, Steve, of course that wasn’t your comment I was pedanticising about.
10 April 2020
Gagarin
first.into.space is near Gilroy,California. Utter nonsense! Typical Americans trying to steal the glory from the Soviet Union. This game is rubbish!
10 April 2020
Lord leominsTer
I’m with Yuri on this. ‘Me go candy.sweetened.cashew’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it?
10 April 2020
Gagarin
Comrade Gagarin to you, you faux English aristocrat.
10 April 2020
Lord leOminster
Apologies, Comrade. I was just wondering if you might be a bonus answer to my quiz? By your own admission you are dead yet here you are commenting on the HMHB Lyrics Project website. From beyond the grave or risen from the grave, one wonders?
10 April 2020
Gagarin
I think it’s fair to say that I haven’t really thought this through.
10 April 2020
parsfan
I didn’t get very far with this yesterday, only managing short.term.sweat on someone’s drive in Philidelphia.
Returning for another go today my next hit was with double.neck.guitar on another American driveway.
Was Shackleton another goalie? There’s keepers.sweaty.jocks in Antartica.
The satellite view looked quite dry but hard to say if there was a hosepipe ban in boom.boom.boom in a park in Indiana.
What about the fearsome.hollow.boom of the older boys midway between Mozambique and Madagascar?
10 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Comrade Gagarin
Using first.space.pilot you touch down near Kobyay in the Sakha Republic of Russia. Green from above, it looks like a good spot for a safe landing. I trust that you would find that more acceptable.
10 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
A mistake has been made, it’s a fact I can’t hide. If only I’d actually looked on the map to see where it was… I just went by the tiny flag which came up when I searched. Given that I know all national flags, I’m not sure how I got it wrong. Put it down to over-excitement.
I did check to see whether they’d lied.tome.posters, but that is near Pires do Rio in Brazil.
As told to a boil.drivers.neck, somewhere near Okayama.
Still, a quiet.happiness.ensues, out in the ocean between Hawaii and Kiribati.
11 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
@FTVP Steve, I think they also avoid words which could be a feature (such as road or grave – you might be OK with a TV Producer), words which can be spelt multiple ways (unfortunately mistake.bean.maid didn’t even exist), place or personal names, and anything which might make a schoolboy (or me) chuckle. (Although if you search for the real Lord Hereford’s Knob, it comes up with hence.gobbling.flock, which I found quite amusing in itself.)
11 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
I’m inconsolable.times.uncontrollable, ah but she wouldn’t know ‘cos she’s half way between MahĂŠ and Mogadishu.
11 April 2020
Gagarin
Thank you, Comrade Idiot Saul. Yes, that pleases me. Although first.space.pilot lies some 7,000km from the place of my birth, yearns.feels.inconvenient, and my death, wings.keystones.chills, it is heartening to know that it lies in the glorious motherland.
11 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
During the building of the butcher’s shop at Bradley, I gave thought to Nigel’s near-obsession with ‘Golden Gordon’ with a few subconscious lines in HMHB songs. The first one that hit me immediately was ‘Footprints’ live at Bilston circa 2013 when the singer blasts out “You stupid stupid bastard” says the lord (Gordon: Useless useless bastards) and the second, a much easier one yet I didn’t get until very recently when Mrs Ottershaw bollocks young Barnstoneworth with “Asquith, Asquith, Asquith, Asquith” a clear subconscious line in ‘Knobheads’. Anyway, as you were.
14 April 2020
poopleby
You ought to get out more! Oh, wait a minute. This is so addictive;
neck.brace.shower is near Pahrump, Nevada close to Death Valley, appropriately, and
light.oncoming.train is near Lisala, Ăquateur, wherever that may be.
This could keep me amused for hours.
14 April 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Do any of you use the Half Man Half Biscuit Random Lyrics Generator⢠as your home page when you log on to your computer? I highly recommend it. Today when I logged on it was a line from Jarg Armani, so naturally the song got caught in my head, which in turn naturally led me to learn that:
sleet.keep.indoors is the Pacific, just northwest of Hawaii, weirdly enough, while sleet.meek.indoors is in the central Atlantic;
they obstruct.from.chores in Lutianxiang, China, presumably because of coronavirus;
fixture.this.firmament is floating in Melanesia, east of Fiji;
nations.pass.remains is on the Alaska peninsula, where grizzlies are far more likely to pass remains;
call.still.lingers is where few would actually linger, in northern Russia;
and next.doors.entail (HA!) is in extreme northern Canada
.
I’ll see myself out now.
14 April 2020
The harbinger of nothing
@Poopleby, light.oncoming.train is located just south of the Congo in the “Democratic” Republic thereof. Ăquateur is a province.
@FTVP Steve, you may be interested to know that feature.less.producer is located south of De Aar, South Africa.
I was pleased to discover that I can enjoy some Brecht and Catcher In The Rye at upside.down.cake, which is just south of the longest completely straight stretch of railway line in the world. An extra slice is available for anyone who can spot the exact location from the window of the Indian Pacific.
14 April 2020
OLLIE THE SQUID’S LONG-SUFFERING GUITAR TECH
Last week I was taken to hospital with a life-threatening heart condition but thanks to the NHS, I live to mosh another day (I may even take up jogging). Anyway, every drama needs a musical score. Had it been a TV movie featuring Stockard Channing, strings would have swelled as I lay there in Intensive Care. As it was, the heart monitor I was hooked up to provided its own soundtrack â a remix of Visitor for Mr. Edmonds played at four times normal speed.
Fortunately, the âflat-liningâ coda was edited out…
20 April 2020
Chris The Siteowner
Wow. Glad you’re OK!
20 April 2020
OLLIE THE SQUID’S
Thanks Chris. I was lucky.
And remember, kids, it’s cliched to be cynical at 8 pm on Thursdays ; )
20 April 2020
EXXO
Really happy for you Ollie.
NOt cynical here, but all the NHS lurv can be a bit OTT though. I’m currently temping in medical records and had to report me bike nicked from the hospital yesterday.
Both the police with the crime report, and the insurance company with the claim managed to thank me for “all that I was doing” even though all that I was doing was making a bit of space on some shelves and wondering why not more has changed since I last did this 39 years ago.
21 April 2020
Alice van der meer
Oh good, it’s not just me! Technically I’m a key worker as I’m working in a lab for a company who are doing coronavirus research (to the point where I have a letter to show PC McGarry if he stops me in the car), but our section isn’t doing anything related to it and most of us find it embarassing if anybody says anything about it.
21 April 2020
dr desperate
Sorry to hear about the heart thing, Ollie, and about the bike, Exxo – hope you’re both soon much restored.
(I once had to fillet a roomful of medical notes, which was more of a thankless task at that time. I did find Roger Bannister’s autograph on one letter though.)
22 April 2020
Ian c
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/rochdale-bus-crash-incident-station-road-latest-news-a9490646.html
29 April 2020
Ian c
Time for Dr D to get his dogs d’amour satin tour jacket out
29 April 2020
Cream cheese and chives
I notice in last week’s Observer that they go back through their archives to 1973 and a feature on Dick Emery. ‘Dick Emery,driving instructor’ may sound like something out of a Half Man Half Biscuit song ‘ it says. Does it?
Are there not other tv celebs more likely to have been referenced? That Jenny Powell for one.
30 April 2020
dr desperate
Well spotted, @CC&C. I expect the writer of the piece was idly thinking of the [name][occupation] format, as used in such titles as ‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective’, ‘Mike Bassett: England Manager’ and ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’. It’s a trope that’s ripe for parody, with such outlandish combinations as ‘Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’, ‘Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft’, and of course ‘Bob Wilson – Anchorman’.
(The [name][abbreviation] sub-genre, including ‘Magnum PI’, ‘Owen MD’ and Arthur Lowe’s ‘AJ Wentworth BA’, led to Denis Norden’s gag (Danny Baker’s favourite of all time): “By day she dispensed justice in the courtrooms of LA. By night she was Queen of the Music Hall. It’s Tara Raboom, D.A.”)
1 May 2020
dr desperate
I forgot to mention the blaxploitation movie ‘Petey (sic) Wheatstraw: The Devil’s Son-in-Law’.
1 May 2020
Bobby Svarc
Lidl advert on TV is Fun Day in the Park Innit?
20 May 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Sorry, Aldi not Lidl.
21 May 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Another slow day at work has led me to discover saucy.haulage.ballads in the woods of central Bolivia.
Delighted to find it, of course, but why can’t any of these places be someplace I have a reasonable chance of visiting?
22 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@FTVP Steve
But you could walk there.
Failing that, saucy.haulage.ballad is in Lake Huron, just off Harrisville, Michigan. You could swim out there several times instead, next time you visit your state of birth. Maybe take in a Red Wings game?
23 May 2020
brumbiscuit
probe.plus.records take you to somewhere near Fukushima. Hot, hot, hot!
23 May 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
@IDIOT SAUL, “just off” Harrisville? It’s like 25 km. I couldn’t make a tenth of one trip, let alone multiple trips. Besides, the only reason I go to Michigan anymore is for funerals.
And as for those Red Wings, hoo boy, they’re a garbage fire these days. Watching them on tv is painful enough, thanks – I think walking to Bolivia would hurt less than watching them in person.
24 May 2020
Si
Guardian Quick Crossword, Saturday 30th May 2020. 4 Down: Enclosures for birds (8).
Well, thems’d be the aviaries.
30 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Guardian Prize Crossword last Saturday had:
Mere hint about unusual instrument (8)
Germanyâs sound leader in Angelaâs in power (6)
30 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
I think weâd better let him in
I heard heâs got an anagram of ‘mere hint’
Fifteen minutes of mantra-filled A (the leader in Angela’s) in oomph.
30 May 2020
John anderson
Theremin and oompah.
A quite tough one (I thought) from a recent Times crossword:
Pub rogue beginning to open up a shade (5,4).
30 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@John
Yes, I thought that was tough. I couldn’t see it for a good while, probably because it was camouflaged. It must have been a down clue.
Pub = bar rogue = devil
Beginning to open = o
Written upwards gives olive drab.
30 May 2020
John anderson
Chapeau, sir. Especially as you didnât have any letters to help you. But is it drab olive or olive drab?
30 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Well, the (5,4) suggests olive drab, which is the name of a colour, though I didn’t know that until I looked it up tonight.
30 May 2020
dr desperate
“Cool bird, perhaps Nigel’s first in vibrant signal red?” (10)
1 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
A shade dull for a lovebird perhaps? (4,5)
1 June 2020
John anderson
@Dr D. Sanderling (cue drumroll).
1 June 2020
dr desperate
Nice ones, @Saul + John.
1 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Yes, @Doc, I would be possibly slandering if I said that your clue was anything but excellent. I realised, too late after I’d pressed submit and taken the hound for a walk, that I used ‘perhaps’ same as you.
1 June 2020
dr desperate
Thanks, @ Saul (possibly).
1 June 2020
Lord leominster
I’ve never been much good at crosswords. I’ve only just worked out ‘oompah’ and that was with the answer provided.
Ref the ‘olive drab’ clue I had no idea that the crossword setter could require the answer to be spelled sdrawkcab. That’s utter skcollob as far as I’m concerned.
3 June 2020
lord leominster
Radio broadcaster’s delight inspired by Chopin and Liszt (4,5,4,4).
9 June 2020
dr desperate
Would the broadcaster appear honestly confused in the title?
9 June 2020
Lord leominster
As I appear to be honestly confused by your question I’m guessing the answer to be ‘yes, no, possibly, err, I dunno.’ Please bear I’m mind I may not have followed strict crossword setting protocol.
9 June 2020
lord leominster
‘in’ not ‘I’m’.
Said broadcaster would probably be confused by the title, but not necessarily confused in the title.
9 June 2020
dr desperate
“Honestly confused” here meaning anagram of ‘honestly’ (2,3,3).
9 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Honestly confused after half a month (4,2,3,3).
9 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Or should that be something like:
Guiltly pleasure on the tour bus honestly confused after half a month (4,2,3,3).
9 June 2020
Lord leominster
Thanks for explaining. So you didn’t need further clues after all. Chapeau.
The answer is ‘eggs, bread, cigs, milk’ being Charlie Nove’s Shopping List.
9 June 2020
Lord leominster
Oops, Idiot Saul. Sorry, I didn’t mean to trample all over your clue there.
9 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
No problem Your Lordship, I was only trying to build on the clever bit that Dr D had come with. I enjoyed your Chopin Liszt by the way.
9 June 2020
dr desperate
Good clue, @Leommy. I had the advantage of having used ‘Chopin Liszt’ in a Times of London ‘Two Brains’ puzzle a few years ago.
9 June 2020
Lord leominster
It’s certainly good to know that I’m in good company.
9 June 2020
Schoon
Confused idle monster or learner, he messed up crossword clue (4, 10)
11 June 2020
Lord leominsteR
One recognises shame TT (5, 2).
11 June 2020
BOBBY SVARC
A Butchers shop at Bradley
http://www.modelstadia.co.uk/index.php/a-ripping-yarn
2 July 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
That is some fine detailing on the chops, sausages and Gordon’s cap, Mr Bates.
Also, I seem to have the same armchair as Nigel, the ‘Sherlock’, from Next. Can recommend.
2 July 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Half Man Half Biscuit live at Bilston
http://www.modelstadia.co.uk/index.php/hmhb-at-the-robin-ii
3 July 2020
this leaden paul
The opening meeting of the season at Bangor-On-Dee yesterday was enlivened no end by a winner trained by Laura Morgan.
13 July 2020
Brumbiscuit
Hard to know where to put this, but I’m going to be in sunny Birkenhead early next month for a few days. Advice on decent boozers, places to eat and sights much appreciated. Is there a Merseyside transport pass?
14 July 2020
EXXO
Where will you be staying Andy? You want the saveway ticket, cos that way you can use Merseyrail, buses and ferries all day off-peak after 09.30 all round Liverpool and the Wirral
https://www.merseyrail.org/tickets-passes/daily-travel/saveaway.aspx
Obviously the ferry is a must.
Central Birkenhead sights?
https://www.merseyrail.org/destination-merseyside/articles/explore-10-minutes-from-hamilton-square-station.aspx
Gallagher’s pub recommended. The Glen Affric brewery seems like a good idea … but you want to be on a crawl with mates or it seems a bit expensive and soulless.
Spend as much time on the coast as possible. Go to New Brighton station and walk (or bike) as far as possible round the coast both ways.
Another day go to West Kirby station at low tide and walk out on the sands to Hilbre (from Marine Lake to Little Eye, thereby avoiding quicksand).
Yeah, I’d say get tired walking the coast in the sea air and that way you won’t notice that Birkenhead pubs are not that interesting without gigs, football, friends & family.
Liverpool though has enough brilliant museums for 3 or 4 days, and a far more inviting selection of cracking pubs.
14 July 2020
WARDEN HODGES
ÂŁ5.30 for the Saveaway. Happy Days.
Way too many pubs to mention but I’ll go for 2 of my Wirral faves
Ship in Hoylake
Magazine in New Brighton.
Also, top fish n chips at Perch Rock chippy New Brighton, enjoy!
15 July 2020
CARRIE ANNE
In addition to the above, Skeleton Records on Oxton Road is remarkable, The Birkenhead Drill mural on the side of the aforementioned Gallaghers, and the statue inspired by Wilfred Owenâs Futility.
15 July 2020
WARDEN HODGES
To avoid pedantry, Magazine pub borders Wallasey also but still a fine boozer.
15 July 2020
EXXO
New Brighton is in Wallasey, in every way. Unlike Moreton, which is only in it in a couple of ways at most (so Ken was not the first person in Wallasey to do anything, except in those ways).
15 July 2020
brumbiscuit
Thanks all. I’m staying in the Premier Inn, near Hamilton Square, apparently. Arriving Sunday 2/8, leaving Wednesday 5th. Booked on a whim, all suggestions for things to do much appreciated.
I’m staying with at least one mate and trying to drum up a couple of others, so it won’t be a Billy No-Mates trip, thankfully.
16 July 2020
Cornish Biscuit
The current issue of When Saturday Comes (No. 400) is an oblique HMHB treasure trove, with references to Bob Wilson’s anchor role on ITV in one article, a photo gallery of Prenton Park during lockdown and a photograph of Luton Town-Millwall, 1985 in another feature. The band also get a namecheck in David Stubbs’ article on the growing link between football and music in the 1980s. Crazy.
17 July 2020
brumbiscuit
Back from a (largely) dry, often sunny Birkenhead. Enjoyed the stay. Gallaghers does a good pint. Museums all closed during our stay, which wasn’t good, but we still found plenty to do. The one negative is that it was my round in The Philharmonic. I’ll be back once the Covid palaver has abated enough to open things up a bit more.
7 August 2020
EXXO
Glad you had a good stay Andy. Hope I’ll be around next time you’re on the Oblong of Dreams and I can show you a few of the Biscuit-referenced sites/sights, we can maybe take in a Karl covers gig, etc.
8 August 2020
Mate of the bloke
Sat listening to the cricket commentary on the radio today. Dave Bracegirdle (BBC Nottingham) was discussing HMHB. Tranmere Rovers, ‘Friday night and the gates are low’ got a mention. A cricket reference was also made to Fred Titmus, but the commentary team needed to check that it was suitable for broadcast.
10 August 2020
lord leominster
Here is a new (to me) definition of a PBR. The TLA [three latter abbreviation] also refers to a Precariously Balanced Rock. Come to think of it, that does kind of sum up the Biscuits, in a good way.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-54374465
5 October 2020
lord leominster
Sorry, that should read TLA [three letter abbreviation].
5 October 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Always brilliant, but very difficult to categorise; post-punk or folk, occasionally leaning towards country or metal; are HMHB purveyors of Precariously Balanced Rock?
5 October 2020
EXXO
Fortunately the phenomenon does not extend to people taking to social media whenever a double decker bus strikes a low precariously balanced rock, whenever high winds in Capel Curig seem to threaten the stability of precariously balanced rocks, whenever anyone passes a precariously balanced asparagus next left sign on a rock near Hebden Bridge, etc.
5 October 2020
EXXO
With allowances for rule number one, by the way, that nothing anyone thinks “would make a good HMHB title” could ever actually be a good HMHB title, that deserves a respectful hat-tip towards Leo & Saul.
5 October 2020
IDIOT SAUL
The Noble Lord @569 I meant to say that I was agreeing with you.
Last time I visited Brimham Rocks, I was dismayed to find that some knobheads had recently dislodged one of the PBRs.
5 October 2020
transit full of keith
@Saul, a fact I like about Brimham Rocks is that one of the less precariously-balanced boulders there is dubbed “Swiss Tony” by rock-climbers, on account of its resemblance to the coiffure of the Fast Show character. https://27crags.com/crags/brimham/topos/swiss-tony
9 October 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Permenent Reference. I’m growing up with my grandkids
https://ibb.co/CsFSxHv
15 October 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Brilliant Tatoo that Micky.
Simply superb….
15 October 2020
hendrix-tattoo
t
15 October 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Good Arm, Nice Tattoo.
I like that letter styling, makes me wonder what a 1967 psychedelic version of HMHB would have sounded like.
15 October 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Keith
Maybe we’ll find out?
As XTC are to The Dukes of Stratosphear, so Half Man Half Biscuit would be to The Cosmic Custard Creams or something?
15 October 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Thanks chaps. My daughter designend the tatt as well as doing the inking. She is self taught and has been doing it for about 3 years now, she’s going to get registered once this covid shit has cleared off. The desingn was loosely taken from a Jefferson Airplane 60’s logo but Carly had to redraw it by hand and I think she done an ace job, It only cost 25 grand
15 October 2020
dr desperate
I suppose ‘Ready Steady Goa’ is the closest we’ve got to psychedelic Biscuits so far, with its trippy lyrics and Sixties references (including the title).
15 October 2020
FerencvĂros fan
Shout out for a cover version of Alone Again Or by American 60s band Love, once we are all at Biscuit gigs on the other side. Design on that (brill) tattoo reminds me of the script of band on the top left hand corner of their Forever Changes album. Oh and Iâm also thinking am I too old for a tatt at 60..?
15 October 2020
Bobby Svarc
I’m sixty, it doesn’t hurt. Read Bernie Connor’s piece about Geoff in the home page at http://www.probe-plus.co.uk regarding Love.
16 October 2020
dr desperate
Another vote for ‘Alone Again Or’ – it was CP Lee’s favourite song, played at his funeral in August.
(Wil)liam Gallagher also liked that psychedelic circular font, using it in the logo for the clothing range Pretty Green, which he fronted until it went bust last year.
16 October 2020
BOBBY SVARC
This is the artwork that Carly drew and the JA logo that I/We got our insipiation from. Although only 32 she’s really into Jefferson Airplane and has done a marvellous tattoo of Grace Slick on one of her practice skins. I’m deffo going to set her up with a studio because she is talented, mind you, if shes reads this she’ll want it today đ
https://ibb.co/chfgcR2
16 October 2020
FerencvĂros fan
Managed to leave my vinyl copy of Surrealistic Pillow by JA behind me on one of several flits around London bedsit land in the late 80s. Still hurts.
16 October 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Cosmic inkwork Bobby.
You have a very decorative dermis, or should that be epidermis?
Or do you reject all layer terms?
16 October 2020
BOBBY SVARC
I’m off the Saff
16 October 2020
FerencvĂros fan
@Bobby Svarc:
Artistic talent clearly running in your family. Hope your daughter can indeed make a career of her artwork.
I was aware of your own work before joining this site. Not 100% sure how, but think it was through FourFourTwo magazine. I look forward to meeting you one fine day. You would have been in the same academic year as me growing up, and, what with the football, the racing, and of course the band, there wd be plenty to talk about.
16 October 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Cheers mate, nice one. I’m interested to find out it if I was in FourFourTwo as I haven’t seen it if I am. My local media outlets are about as good as a chocolate fireguard and have not gave me much support. The Leicester Mercury claimed that I was a ‘Stoke Victim’ (Aren’t we all!) and BBC Radio Leicester sent a lady to interview me who, as far as I know, is still serving time for perfoming sex acts with underage boys.
16 October 2020
dr desperate
Come to think of it, @FF, Bands FC’s Love crest is also somewhat similar.
https://twitter.com/_bands_fc/status/1021414917126189057
16 October 2020
FerencvĂros fan
Thanks, John. I know a lot more about Bands FC than I did a couple of hours ago. Every day is a school day on here!
16 October 2020
dr desperate
You’re very welcome, George. In that case you’ll have come across their HMHB crest (and we’re back in the room).
https://twitter.com/_bands_fc/status/1014053145394270208?lang=en
17 October 2020
FerencvĂĄros fan
Yes John it was part of my sharp learning curve yesterday evening. Preferred it to the PNE Lamb Chop crest.
17 October 2020
EXXO
Nothing personal, but football and music fans are always generally easily pleased when it comes to mediocre graphic design. That HMHB one is like they had the idea, mocked it up on a fag packet, then just went down the pub and forgot to actually get the same feel, font, design and colours as the Dukla badge when they got back. They seemed to be knocking out several per day. Nigel’s quote about Steve Hardstaff’s skills when HMHB “were still pointing at aeroplanes in 1985” springs to mind. Of course they’ll still be better than most sports logo design, but that’s not saying much.
18 October 2020
John anderson
Against my better judgement but enticed by a ten pence off Lenor type special offer, I bought some soup in cartons not in tins.
It was crap, I’m going back to tins.
28 October 2020
EXXO
Walking my dog just by Elland Road this morning in an overgrown corner of a park that used to be a rubbish tip, I noticed that a scavenger/metal detectorist has been digging huge, deep, grave-like holes and amongst the squalid objects tossed around was a 1970’s plastic Ajax bottle with a 4p off logo across the corner. I hope he found the 10p off Lenor though.
28 October 2020
a Littering council worker
Had a meeting in work today where we were going through a list my colleague had made of upcoming awareness weeks. Sadly there was no overarching seven day celebration to recognise them all contained within.
25 November 2020
Gok wan Acolyte
Definite lack of love for a dog on the pitch in Leicester https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/55455560
27 December 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Territorial Pissings
28 December 2020
Alice Van Der Meer
I’m sure Marine FC have come up before, but I can’t find a recent post to follow.
I was amused particularly by the numbers on the fence so the ball boys and girls know which front door to knock on when the ball goes in a back garden: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/55412755 (maybe Oxford United should number the spaces in the carpark at the open end?)
I’m always fascinated by the one-man-and-his-dog world of lower league football, while I’m not a fan of the game I feel much more affinity with the fans who support the plumbers and sparkies playing for the club down the road through thick and (perpetually) thin, and I suspect that even men with steel hearts could forgive Mr Leary that half-and-half souvenir scarf on this occasion. Go Marine!
7 January 2021
warden Hodges
Yes spoke to Mr Leary yesterday, he said this moment is better than his wedding day! Even his wife smiled at that! COYM!!
7 January 2021
Alice Van Der Meer
…and that’s why I can understand the love, how many Chelsea locals ever get to talk to their manager? (other clubs to whom the same applies are available)
And good on Mrs Leary.
7 January 2021
eric t’viking
How good was it to listen to Chorley (or ‘Charlie’ as Radio 5 live were pismronounciating it) beating Derby 2 – nil? Along with John Murray being mystified by what a butter pie was…
Knowing what Victory Park is like, I especially enjoyed the quip from Pat Nevin, responding to the news that one player had moved from Wales to Chorley with his family when he was 2 years old… “Living the dream, eh?”
9 January 2021
Jon latish
Best moment on ITV commentary of England V Poland, Sam Matterface describing the referees assistant as “adjusting his equipment so he can remain incommunicado”.
31 March 2021
Peter gandy
The article on Ryley Walker in today’s Guardian begins: ‘He was hailed as the new Nick Drake, but addiction nearly destroyed him.’
5 April 2021
michael
Not a lyric but still noteworthy, surely? https://www.halfmanhalfburger.com/
1 July 2021
Lord leominster
It must be popular. If you google âhalf manâ it comes out top of the list followed by half man half horse and in third place is the one that you were looking for.
2 July 2021
EXXO
Witterers about HMHB on tw*tter became well aware of the greasy Sussex burger brand when they tried to wrestle the #HMHB hashtag off us a few years back. Politely pointing out that this was not a welcome move failed to shift them, but their food offer* was an easy target and they soon backed off to hide behind something like #HalfManHalfBrgr.
One notes too that US-based NGO ‘Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies’ have also learned their lesson, after some years of embarrassed confusion amongst their followers. Though clearly their worthy endeavours could not be publicly dissed in the same way as the horrible Hastings heart-botherers, they eventually realised that we had the hashtags first and we weren’t going to go away. I am not aware, alas, of any heathy mothers becoming HMHB fans as a result. Nor healthy babies for that matter.
*the first time I went back for a bar crawl in April, the waiter in the newest and trendiest one asked me “are you aware of our food offer?” I said “what’s the offer?” (thinking he meant special offer, 2 for 1 or something) but he really just meant “have a menu.”
4 July 2021
Michael
@Exxo: glad I’m not the only one who’s given the shits by ‘offer’ when used that way. I once went to an all staff talk where management give us the lowdown on latest developments in this and that. Part of it was the catering manager telling us about a roastery (not from Keswck, as far as I know) who would be coming into the building to improve my organisation’s ‘coffee offer’. What she meant was instead of perfectly drinkable filter for a very reasonable (subsidised) 90p we’d soon be able to spend ÂŁ3 on pretty much the same coffee but served in a branded cup. Sakes!
6 July 2021
EXXO
I berate the ‘like’ button when it’s there but at times I miss it when it’s not, because you’ve summed it up and in such cases, what else is there to say?
Glad to see a fellow witterer has joined up. More witterers needed, to turn comments into conversations.
7 July 2021
michael
Booking essential, you say? OK. My name is Renfield. RM Renfield.
https://batsinchurches.org.uk/events/bat-night-at-all-saints-church-thornham/
26 July 2021
John Anderson
Yesterday my local Nextdoor website featured someone pleasantly surprised by their water bill. Today there’s gym equipment for sale. An Achtung Bono double.
26 July 2021
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
The hipsteristation of Nigel’s home town, specifically the number of ‘independent coffee shops’ has inspired the Wirral Globe to suggest today that Birkenhead is ‘the trendiest town in the UK’ and may well be what caused Mr B to write “Every Time A Bell Rings”. https://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/19482269.research-says-birkenhead-uks-trendiest-town/?ref=twtrec
2 August 2021
EXXO
Blimey there’s some statistical jiggery-pokery gone on there. Could be using the “Birkenhead Urban Area”, or similar made-up entity? That means that it would be one of the most built-up “towns” anywhere – in fact really 5 or 6 towns contiguous – and it would exclude all the peripheral greenery that most other towns would have to include in their “per square mile”. So per square mile I can see how it might be possible with some massaging of the figures, whereas per head of population the figures would be very different. Vastly cheaper rents than anywhere else on the list would facilitate your independent cafes and breweries, etc. but hipsters feeling safe and at home in downtown Birkenhead, beyond Molly’s Chambers, Future Yard and Glen Affric? Nah.
2 August 2021
EXXO
Future Yard is brilliant for B’head though and here they are getting good PR in The Paper today.
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/aug/02/community-not-profit-creative-renaissance-of-birkenhead-future-yard
2 August 2021
Michael
I’ve heard it said that even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
30 August 2021
Borough surveyor
No that I go to London often, but today I went through Edgeware Road tube AND passed Italia Conti.
With a holiday cottage with views over Bulbarrow Hill last year Iâm pretty chuffed with myself. Cuba remains a pipe dream.
5 October 2021
John Anderson
I’ve been to Cuba. To be fair we didn’t spot any Italia Conti rejects. I’ve also visited the following HMHB continental venues:
Australia, Biarritz, Budapest, Copenhagen, Dead Sea, Finland, Florida, Germany, Hungary, Iceland, Jordan, Malmo, Marseilles, Nairobi, Netherlands, New York, Reykjavik, Riga, Rotterdam, San Antonio, South America, Tennessee, Yosemite.
5 October 2021
EXXO
Cuba is ace. Along with Iceland it’s among my favourite places on our planet.
Good game though. I can only manage 15 out of your 24 John, (unless you count a transit at JFK as New York) but I’ll add Amsterdam, The Andes, Barça, Borussia MĂśnchengladbach, Dukla Prague, Dundalk, the banks of the Garonne, Ghent, Gibraltar, Greek Isle Kos, Inter’s end on derby day, Israel, Palermo, Picardy, Rome, Spain, Standard Liège, Texas (but only if you count a couple of transits in airports), The Valley of the Rhone, Venezuela (but only if you count a transit and a touchdown), The Wailing Wall, Zurich.
5 October 2021
John Anderson
I have been to Amsterdam, The Andes, Barça, Prague (though not the Dukla ground), the Garonne, Rome & Spain. Airport transfers definitely don’t count in my book.
6 October 2021
ALICE van der meer
I’ve played cricket in Amsterdam and Wantage, and ÂŁ20 of mine was sunk into the Icelandic Cricket Association’s ground near Reykjavik… Oh, and a teammate took all ten like Hedley Verity.
6 October 2021
paul f
“…like Hedley Verity.”? You couldn’t think of a better way of saying the same thing?
6 October 2021
EXXO
Hedleyveritably? Hedleyverily? With Hedleyverisimilitude?
So that’s prompted me to check your final figures for the season Adrian. Congratulations on being comfortably United’s top wicket taker with 31 wickets! This mirrors my own final figure of 13 (shit gets) wickets. However, that’s off 107 fewer overs than you!
6 October 2021
EXXO
Sorry didn’t mean to turn it into the competitiveness thread … but since I have, I reckon I’m still about 4 ahead of you John, even not counting airports, nor going through Enschede station, nor even being driven past the outskirts of Magaluf. And of course not even mentioning going to Split, when I was single.
You’ll probably overtake me though as I’ve well and truly lost the wanderlust.
Haha we best not do UK ones.
6 October 2021
John Anderson
Ha ha. I’ve driven past the outskirts of Palermo. You’d probably beat me hands down on UK ones, what with me being a southerner.
6 October 2021
ALICE van der meer
Hedleyverisimilitude – I like that!
Thanks, Exxo, much appreciated. Not too shabby yourself, y’know. My shoulder is feeling every one of those overs, believe you me. And I’ll just big up the person second behind me – our first regular woman player, pretty much learning the game as she goes, and her first full season too.
I forgot – how could I forget? – playing at Uffington, and finding myself on the Ordinary to Enschede whilst on tour!
7 October 2021
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@Exxo/@John Anderson
I do think this discussion should conclude with “But I’ve never been to me”
11 October 2021
EXXO
In John’s case it’s more likely to be “I’ve been to Tannadice but I’ve never seen Dundee.”
11 October 2021
John Anderson
Actually I’ve been to Dundee but not Tannadice.
11 October 2021
John Anderson
It seems quite a lot of people really do have plans for their sons to spend their lives in William Hillâs waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58957676
18 October 2021
Gok wan ACOLYTE
No mention of a dot com sit com, sadly
https://twitter.com/mazymixer/status/1454111555616915464?s=21
30 October 2021
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Not really a PBR but one of my first thoughts when celebrity HMHB fan David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd was mentioned in the cricket racism story was think of this site…
16 November 2021
EXXO
Great to hear Lloyd has issued an immediate and unreserved apology for his comments. Cricket is 75% old school gammon and this is hopefully all good for sweeping it away … rather than under the carpet.
16 November 2021
BOBBY SVARC
Retired from building models as of yesterday. A few ‘biscuity’ artifacts on this collage of my work.
https://ibb.co/PQrn71S
17 November 2021
EXXO
Quite a body of work there Mick. Every piece is a stunner, but all the more so when showing so many of your great pieces on one page. There goes my hopes of one day* commissioning you to build a Cauty-style model of the Wirral depicting every line of National Shite Day, 24HGP, Gwatkin, etc…
*when the big Saturday acca comes in
17 November 2021
BOBBY SVARC
There are three direct references to HMHB in that picture, two obvious, one not so.
17 November 2021
BOBBY SVARC
Four, in fact.
17 November 2021
Paul f
A long sequence of coincidences led me today to a vegetarian organic food cafe in Totnes. It felt very Hebden Bridge.
27 November 2021
transit full of keith
Got hold of a long-coveted HMHB Motorway Sign T-shirt at the Frome gig – they never had it in medium before. Heading home on Saturday on the M3, our car broke down and we spent an hour and a half on the hard shoulder right next to a slip road sign identical in form to the T-shirt. Spooky – even the same junction number (5). Put on a high vis jacket while waiting, just to top things off.
28 November 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
Was half-watching the BBC breakfast news this morning and there was a bit about a football club linking up with a local dog rescue place; the players all carried a rehoming candidate dog out onto the pitch, and one of them gave the dog he was carrying a kiss – men with steel hearts and all that…
Didn’t catch which club it was, I’m afraid – I was paying more attention to my porridge when the piece started.
5 December 2021
cream cheese and chives
It’s FC Zenit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_88BodbTa24
A nation’s hearts melted. Apparently.
6 December 2021
Bad loser
This dog will definitely cause the owner of the steeliest heart to crack a smile.
https://twitter.com/buckarobanza/status/1469023722979926019?s=21
11 December 2021
Borough surveyor
Found myself (surveying) in Newton Abbott pre-Xmas. Old flat above shop with remnants of Trumpton themed wall paper, opposite a book-keepers (William Hill). One of the few perks of the job is the all too rare triple PBR.
I submit this now as Iâve been trying to avoid any thoughts of work over Xmas. Iâm hoping I can leave the drudgery of hi-viz officialdom before I Dai Young.
2 January 2022
Wobs
Michael Palin’s Around the world in 80 Days was recently repeated on BBC. The first episode sees him training in a tshirt with the names of Barnstoneworth Utd on. Still on iPlayer of course.
“8 bloody 1!”
13 January 2022
EXXO
The Tranmere website commentary the other night described one of Tranmere’s few coherent moves during the first half at Salford as “McPake, O’Connor and Nevitt.” But it was a game of two halves and when two of those three got the hook Tranmere played much better and got a draw.
Meanwhile, as if you needed proof of my versality, Thomas Hardy’s poetry on Melvyn Bragg’s show this morning eschewed all mention of the glebe cow.
13 January 2022
Natalie at the back
Wonder what Gwen Taylor is up to nowadays…..just piping up, that’s all.
13 January 2022
EXXO
I’m glad she’s been getting some work, ’cause she has a hell of a time.
13 January 2022
PETER MCORNITHOLOGIST
i actually saw Gwen Taylor in an episode of Heartbeat this morning .What I do like about this harmless series is the music. Tracks today included Pink Floyd and King Crimson with Master Fripp performing without his mad wife.
13 January 2022
Ian c
Pointless fa cup round 3 teams. Iâm assuming Iâm not alone in shouting tranmere at the tv tonight
14 January 2022
Dr desperate
Which they were, indeed. (And kudos to the train conductor for choosing a Crosby-based team which I can’t mention.)
14 January 2022
warden Hodges
Roly Howards Black n White Army!
14 January 2022
third rate les
Apologies if this has been discussed already.
It occurs to me that Will Ferrell must be a HMHB fan. Last year’s film The Story of Fire Saga included not only Dana International (the Cher impersonator rising up in Israel), but actually singing a Cher song (in the “songalong”).
Nice work Will…
27 January 2022
Kendo Nagasaki 2
Does this count as a PBR? Iâve been working away in my home office all day with Bisodol on heavy rotation, and came downstairs singing Stiperstones. On mentioning Bunners, Montgomery and the Stiperstones, my (good lady) wife told me that my Mum had this very afternoon been telling her all about Bunners and how she and my Dad used to go there often when they had a static caravan near Welshpool.
This all came about as a result of my Mum watching Wonders of the Border on ITV with Sean Fletcher walking Offaâs Dyke (which itself sounds like the basis for a new song). Apparently he visits Montgomery (and Bunners?) but Iâm not sure which episode – I havenât watched it myself but now of course I have to. Thereâs a not insignificant chance that I was humming along to Stiperstones during the regaling of all things Bunners. Not sure if Mum or Dad ever bought Swarfega there though, but I wouldnât rule it out⌠Anyway, if this doesnât count as a PBR please directly me discreetly towards the exit.
3 February 2022
Brumbiscuit
For the wo/man who has everything, and ÂŁ9.70 to burn: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1157572687/half-man-half-biscuit-tribute-enamel-pin?click_key=f49066030692122fa9d873e368061c923dc23710%3A1157572687&click_sum=ef1c6ad5&ref=shop_home_active_8
16 February 2022
julian or Rupert
Saturday morning – within 1 day of the release of The Voltarol Years, and more specifically Grafting Haddock – my friend Martin fell off his loft ladder.
Thankfully just a broken ankle, so not a full PBR/curse of HMHB situation. But I’m feeling guilty not to have listened more carefully on Friday night so I could offer some sort of warning.
Have to ask if he has ever been to Knowsley Safari Park.
1 March 2022
Lux inferior
This will inevitably get lost in all the new album traffic, but itâs a multiple PBR so Iâm sharing anyway.
My sonâs youth team clinched their league title last Saturday with an away win at Chatteris. Their previous two fixtures had seen victories over Ely and Trump(ing)ton, so Iâm claiming a tenuous hat-trick of PBRs (Perpetual Biscuit ReferencesâŚPositive Biscuit ResultsâŚtake your pick). All victories without conceding too…clean sheets acknowledged by the hordes.
2 March 2022
gipton teenager
…and now I’ve just been in the King’s Arms and they were playing Sleater Kinney! Whatever next?
12 March 2022
Dagenham dave
Just watched series one of Cracker. During episode two Fitz makes one of his frequent trips to the bookies. On the wall behind him is a list of runners and riders, the one on the far left is Monmore.
23 March 2022
EXXO
It’s another example of NB’s sporting references not being at all obscure within their own cultural context. On the PA in the bookies, “Monmore” would be just about the most common place name over the past several decades and “Monmore Hare’s Running” just about the most common announcement. Most horse racing courses race on say 20-30 days a year with about 7 races a day. For Monmore it might be 120 days a year with 12 races a day (tracks like Walthamstow had even more back in the day, maybe well over 2,000 races a year if I had to guess, but it was generally a dodgier grade of racing that the big firms trusted less).
24 March 2022
gipton teenager
We’re having a new shower fitted tomorrow by a local sparks call Ben Palframan. Having never come across the word “palfrey” before TVY, I thought this was close enough for a PBR for me Have a good one tonight people.
25 March 2022
D list paul ross
In very uninteresting news I just had to email two women I don’t know. They are called Laura and Morgan.
6 April 2022
EXXO
I spoke to Miles Davies (sic) in Garstang yesterday.
(I had to get that one in on my last day of working in Garstang*).
*a building of that name rather than the town.
6 April 2022
EXXO
On a PBR theme that will become all too familiar for so many of us in the Voltarol Years to come, Mrs Exford’s dad included ‘Restless Legs’ on a compilation for her mum’s hip operation yesterday (epidural but not general anaesthetic), the compilation titled ‘Tip Top Hip Op Pop.’
9 April 2022
dr Desperate
Get well soon, Mrs Exord’s mum.
10 April 2022
Regurmez
Hickstead just featured in a question on the Chase on Challenge TV. Unfortunately the woman knew the answer so I was denied the pleasure of shouting “Equestrianism” x4 at the screen.
26 April 2022
Professor Abelazar Woozle
While browsing stuff on her phone this morning Mrs. W. suddenly exploded with “F*** Off! If I want some turmeric, I’ll have a bloody curry!”
Turns out she keeps getting ads for the stuff pushed at her right now, and she’s getting fed up with it. I did tell her about the line in OoD…
15 May 2022
EXXO
I must admit I’ve been raiding our osteoarthritic dog’s daily supply of turmeric, glucosamine, halibut oil and green-lipped mussel for the last few weeks now, after the cricket season has revealed to me just how bad my own case of the same affliction has recently become. I hope confessing on here won’t be the start of banging on it about it, but I might have to come clean about my habit to Mrs. E (who is responsible for all canine expenses) and start paying for my share of these supplementary benefits.
15 May 2022
Jack Jones
I work for the nhs and must keep copious records. Every time I discharge a patient I end the record with “letters sent”
There must be thousands of them in our files.
10 June 2022
Mate of the bloke
Just to say I’m going to a fun day in my local park. The town’s football club are doing a ‘beat the goalie’. I’m sure there’s much, much more.
3 July 2022
FErencvĂĄros fan
Lunch within sight of The Wrekin yesterday during a 17 ml trek along The Shropshire Way from Shrewsbury to Bridges. Passed the place where I stayed after Decemberâs gig on the way to the start. Heard an ad for Voltarol on Talk Sport whilst driving home. Think I need some right now. Have had to confess I got taken out of my comfort zone.
3 July 2022
BOBBY SVARC
RIP Andy Wright of The Princess Charlotte and promotor at Leicester Uni. He promoted a good few HMHB gigs in Leicester over the years.
5 July 2022
Workshirker
PBR or In the Media, you decide? Anyway checking the county scores on the BBC and found this reference to a fine album.. “An early tea is being taken at Cheltenham.
Weâve had scorching heat, rain and now a leaden pall has shrouded the ground at Cheltenham Festival.”. Splendid.
Thank you Kit Harris, wonder if anyone is using Meltonian?
Workshirker.
20 July 2022
Brumbiscuit
An indirect PBR today whilst walking along the Stratford Canal in Warwickshire earlier today; FerencvĂĄros Fan was striding purposefully in the opposite direction on a training walk for a longer outing. Good walking conditions today – a nice breeze and cloud cover. Good to see you and I trust you managed a refreshment at the micropub…
23 July 2022
FereNcvĂĄros fan
Yes indeed @Brumbiscuit, little did I know when I set off on the hoof this morning that before I got home I would be talking Lilac Harry Quinn to someone sporting a Sturmey Archer T-shirt. I was so surprised that I forgot to point out that the hoody tied to my waste was a FerencvĂĄros top. Got home OK thanks, via the micropub natch, and agree that conditions were favourable, but I did find it quite a slog (physically and mentally), and I feel cooked now. The few minutes that we spent chatting did provide some moral support though, so thanks for that. Hope you enjoyed your outing, and hopefully Iâll catch up with you at Birmingham in September.
23 July 2022
FerencvĂĄros fan
*waist ofc – blame the pub
23 July 2022
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
It’s a very sad reflection on the state of our nation that only around 10 of the c250 responses to this tweet by journalist and broadcast Hugo Rifkind refer him to “Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes”
https://twitter.com/hugorifkind/status/1552006120260210689?s=20&t=yOsmQNHDLOJR-TYdj8l7Bg
27 July 2022
Professor Abelazar Woozle
I think The Register owe NB10 some royalties for the strapline on this article… https://www.theregister.com/2022/08/16/rubygems_package_registry_mfa/
17 August 2022
John anderson
And Multi-factor Auth For Top Package Maintainers would make a great Fall song title.
17 August 2022
Paul f
https://www.avclub.com/pavement-interview-30th-anniversary-reunion-tour-1849501992
Impressive tally of Biscuit related references in this article.
7 September 2022
wjelly
Was reminded of a meeting a few years ago (at Network Rail) and a late running project.
Someone obviously said “the light at the end of the tunnel” – there were then a few convoluted metaphors – long / long and twisty. I said the obvious / obligatory response – got a few odd looks, but one senior manager just burst out laughing as he knew the song.
12 September 2022
Schoon
I don’t know if this goes here but I couldn’t find the shame area. I just said to Google: “play the album ‘Achtung Baby”.
16 September 2022
Bernie
Tending the wrong grave for 43 years…
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11238501/Family-devastated-council-admits-theyve-visiting-wrong-headstone-father-43-years.html
24 September 2022
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
I’m sorry, but I will never understand human beings.Even if you have the irrational belief in an afterlife, wouldn’t it be one of heavenly bliss with God, where you’re luxuriating in divine paradise, no longer concerned with mortal affairs? But this woman says of her mother that:
‘She’s heartbroken as she says her dad has laid there thinking not one of us cared about him, with no flowers and no visits, nothing.’
So apparently the afterlife consists of lying fully conscious in one’s grave, with the supernatural ability to see through the coffin lid and through six feet of dirt and sod to the air above it, but no further? Seriously?
In TTWGF23Y, at least the protagonist is 200 metres away, where the poor woman couldn’t be expected to hear his uncontrollable inconsolability, but this man couldn’t see his daughter laying flowers just two plots away, and know they were meant for him? That’s what eternal life is about? I don’t mean to sound callous, but what the living hell? How stupid is that?
Sorry for the tirade. Inebriated rant over. As you were.
26 September 2022
Borough surveyor
The ads are throwing u some great perpetual PBRs Insuppose due to those algorithms?
Example- I looked up a lyric that Iâd forgotten on Friday Night and the gates are low, and the bastard slip of a pop up threw up an ad for loft conversions!
I wonder if next time it will be a crèche.
Further research on this phenomenon needed.
4 December 2022
Borough Surveyor
My fat fingers weathered through years of clipboard use and my inability to proof read my comments before posting are also throwing up some typos for which I apologise
4 December 2022
EXXO
The algorithm has decided I might wish to hire a harpist, or perhaps take harp lessons.
17 December 2022
EXXO
@Svarco. The ads algorithm has decided we might want a 5,370-piece Lego model of the Bernabeu.
20 December 2022
BOBBY SVARC
Those FOCO UK ones? I like the concept of them, I doubt whether kids have the time to bother with something that is instant nowadays. I’ve kicked building stadiums into touch now. I’m into building Jaws-themed dioramas. At the moment I’m working on a model of the aftermath of the sinking of the USS Indianapolis with a big fat PBY taking centre stage.
21 December 2022
dr desperate
The Lockheed Ventura would have been out of sight by then.
21 December 2022
BOBBY svarc
Aye, I’ve done one of them
21 December 2022
EXXO
Bobby Svarc modelling, let’s see you try and do this one:
Brunton Park with sharks, December 2015.
23 December 2022
EXXO
Or Blundell Park with cod, March 2018.
23 December 2022
Chris The Siteowner
This is splendid. Someone should definitely write a song about it.
6 January 2023
dr desperate
There seems to be some disagreement over the spelling. ‘Panopticon’ would make more sense (especially to anyone who’s visited the Jeremy Bentham-designed chapel at Lincoln Prison), but Gabriel says the song is “based on an idea I have been working on to initiate the creation of an infinitely expandable accessible data globe: The Panopticom. We are beginning to connect a like-minded group of people who might be able to bring this to life, to allow the world to see itself better and understand more of whatâs really going on”.
Another bright idea, then.
6 January 2023
EXXO
Isn’t that just one of the standard ways to create a new brand? Change one letter in a “clever” way.
6 January 2023
EXXO
First word I heard on the radio this morning was this bight idea from Gabriel. In stark contrast to last week, where the fist words I heard were, not for the first time on a Saturday morning, “John Burscough,” followed by Mark Radcliffe’s characteristic misunderstanding of what he meant.
7 January 2023
dr desperate
I did text them about the Panopticon/m dichotomy, mentioning the Eno collaboration in passing, but they ignored it.
Just hoping I haven’t been barred again, following last week’s first-footing twofer (Rad said “Don’t contact us again, John”).
7 January 2023
EXXO
I don’t get your dichotomy thing. I can see why pedants and cruciverbalists might not be that fond of neoligisms, but surely you can see what he’s doing with one this obvious and crass?
7 January 2023
Richie stevens
Ref posts 699 and 700 above I had to look up the meaning of five words and I still donât know what you are talking about. I sympathise with Mark Radcliffe (see post 698).
7 January 2023
Brumbiscuit
A Brummie drummer mate of mine played at the Swinging Arm in Birkenhead last weekend and just sent me a photo of him and the lead singer with Karl B who was there playing a cameo piece for another band. Very positive words expressed in both directions , apparently, and Karl bought a CD. He never told me he was off there…
10 January 2023
dic aberdaron
boss gig that too
12 January 2023
Exco
I only use my phone for t’internet when I’m on a train or bus. Just noticed the way adverts actually appear within peoples comments on he phone. So Dic’s comment just had an ad for a luxury cruise within it. Which is quite funny when you know who Dic is.
I had the ads blocked for a while but then I started to miss their sheer comic inappropriacy.
Now regretting it, ‘cos the one with “Nigels 3 tips for avoiding inflation” has become quite regular. No not that Nigel. That fucking one. Thinks it’s funny does this bloody algorithm.
13 January 2023
Mr Larrington
While waiting to get into the ‘leccy Ballroom last night I was reminded of one of the more bizarre moments of my hols in 2018, viz. trying to explain the significance of the DPAK to a bemused bloke with a foot-thick Central European accent in the lobby of an hotel in Whitehorse YT.
âNo, thereâs this band, in EnglandâŚâ
21 January 2023
FERENCVĂĄROS FAN
Just back from another overnightner, but a completely different set of circs to last Fri. Ex-workmate’s funeral, the 6th in the last 2 years. Got chatting to another of the mourners, John, during the afternoon, who told me he came from the Wirral. Never one to let an opportunity to spread the word pass by, I commented that it was the home of the best band on the planet. When I elaborated, it transpired that, not only is he a fellow-fan, but he also said he and NB had played football in opposing teams during the late 1980s. There followed what was to any casual listener an esoteric chat about tracks (he loves Shit Arm), and favourite lyrics, which meant that ‘is your child hyperactive…?’ got an airing, sotto voce ofc. It made a tough day (Saad was only 59) better, and it also means I’ve got yet another person to look out for at gigs. Thanks, John.
28 January 2023
Borough surveyor
Thereâs a bloke on Bangers and Cash selling his Lambretta (with Slade based paint job) wearing a Four lads who shook the Wirral T-Short. Bloke is called James.
23 February 2023
Tonto’s expanding waist band
This (previously unknown to me) singer/songwriter must have CSI:Ambleside stashed away somewhere… this is as obscure as a PBR can get…
https://youtu.be/61_0lzqfyMg
24 February 2023
The harbinger of nothing
I could have had a more obscure one. A few months back my son was watching an episode of an awful Channel 5 remake of Thomas The Tank Engine, and at one point a bit of tune came on in the background that made me sit up and rewind the TV. It was very clearly the tune from Time Flies By. I should have noted the exact name of the programme and series / episode number and then searched for it online so I could provide evidence, but I was either too overcome with amazement or (more likely) called to action for something child-related and subsequently forgot. I don’t fancy sitting through hours of it on the off-chance of finding that exact moment. But I promise I didn’t make it up!
27 February 2023
SO224350
I just found this conversation on mumsnet that others may find interesting / entertaining. WigWamBam certainly knows her stuff.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/other_subjects/112204-words-to-time-flies-by-when-i-m-a-driver
28 February 2023
SO224350
And frannykenstein claims to know more than we should know.
28 February 2023
PAUL F
Did they have groupies “back in the day”?
28 February 2023
Paul F
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/mar/03/it-was-nuts-what-we-got-away-with-remembering-the-00s-uk-indie-explosion#comments
So how many have us have posted “You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo” only for it to be rejected in premoderation?
3 March 2023
Gok wan Acolyte
Curse those in charge of plots https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-64990899
17 March 2023
Michael Earnshaw
Dead men don’t need blue badges.
https://metro.co.uk/2023/03/21/eln-founder-fined-for-using-dead-grandads-disabled-badge-to-park-18479219/
22 March 2023
FERENCVĂĄROS FAN
Ok so I’ve disgraced myself again today. Another ex-workmates funeral. Exit song began ‘Guide me, O thou great redeemer..’ and all I could think was ‘Spare me from the drunken heathen..’ And no, I didn’t bother trying to justify the giggle that I failed to stifle. Oh bollix.
30 March 2023
Amber Duffy
Group I’m in on-line has frequent “word salad” moment as they call them. “wood grain bikini”, “brick pants”, and “Polycule Feudalism.”
3 April 2023
Wud
I have just got back from a cycling trip from Macclesfield to Essex ( took 5 days ,rough camping along the way) . I happened to ride through Chatteris at 8 am heading South . I didn’t see any prick barriers , have they been moved? ( I didn’t check the North end ,they might still be there)
14 April 2023
D list paul ross
TOTP on BBC4 at present advertising Mac and Katie Kissoon but don’t switch over yet, Rod Stewart is still on.
5 May 2023
Hendrix-tattoo
Thanks for the heads up @DLPR.
I was struggling to find something to watch on T.V.
After TOTP theirs a Documentary about the 70âs all girl group Fanny that ought to be goodâŚ
5 May 2023
D list paul ross
Cheers H-T – very much enjoying this as well
5 May 2023
dr DEsperate
I put that rock doc on, and was extremely disappointed to be confronted with the headline ‘Fanny split”. You’ve let yourself down, 1973 Melody Maker sub-ed.
6 May 2023
Hendrix-tattoo
They were a great band here they are doing a Beatles coverâŚ
https://youtu.be/Pdwzko9DZ0s
6 May 2023
dr DEsperate
Youâve let yourself down, bluescreen operator.
Nice extra “hedgehog” verse.
6 May 2023
EXXO
Must admit if that (‘Hey Bulldog’)was my first impression of the band it might have been my only one. Don’t usually like that style of 60’s piano in a beat combo and not convinced they were playing one the drummer knew. But the rest of that ‘The Beat’ session (as it unfurled on Youtube wile I was doing the week’s dishes) was pretty darn impressive.
6 May 2023
EXXO
‘Beat Club’ session I meant of course
6 May 2023
EXXO
Anyone else enjoying singing ‘Vinicius’ to the tune of Vicious (off the dodgy Transformer album, hence a PBR)??
9 May 2023
Llamafarmer
And your smile has a fee.
Kids today, eh?
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2023/may/18/uk-children-receive-11-rise-in-pocket-money-outpacing-inflation-data-shows
19 May 2023
professor Abelazar Woozle
Got a full set of the OoD flora and fauna this morning while walking the dog in Millers Dale – the cowslips and celandine have mostly gone over now, likewise the daffs, but speedwell and campion are in full bloom now, much to the delight of the orange tipped butterflies.
21 May 2023