This will be my first gig by anyone since we moved to Argyll just over two years ago as its a two hour drive to the nearest concert venue. I last saw HMHB in Manchester three days after my 60th birthday in 2022 and am so excited to hear tracks from the new record played live alongside the old classics. I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and stays safe.
17 September 2025
Anon
Great gig but the sound!?!
19 September 2025
Twistedkitemike
Merely an update with the set list, as I need some kip and on the train back South….
Broadstairs Fred T Horror Clowns Batwalk Buried in the Morning Rawlplugs Bob W Terminus Venus RSD Vatican NSD Light Tunnel Squabblefest Poss Side Effects DPAK Trad Arr Tune Surging Look Dad McCalliog Oblong Bell Rings Trumpton AOR ………………………..
Jack National You Trip Me Up (Jesus & Mary Chain) JDOG
Great night.
Mike……..
20 September 2025
S
Excellent set, ears still ringing. So I’m not sure if I heard correctly that JD Meatyard was actually born in Lennox Castle? Other local reference points of note: Karl was wearing a “rare, Paisley” Chou Pahrot t-shirt (as I found when I zoomed in on my pix). As is traditional for shows here, ‘Ivor Cutler’s ‘Glasgow Dreamer’ was incorporated into the (highly untraditional) Mary Chain cover. And point of order: a bit remiss of Nigel to have helped Muriel Gray with her smart meter given that she was responsible for burning down the O2 ABC (scene of the band’s last Glasgow gig).
20 September 2025
Stringy Bob
Couldn’t be there dure to my 87 year old mums dementia issues. Fuckin gutted I missed the live debut of POSSIBLE SIDE. I hope the beauty of it reduced many of you to tears. Post DECENT videos of it online. It’s a song that takes you on a journey to an incredible place only HMHB provide transport to. See you in Wolverhampton, my wonderful HMHB family. Love the band and community of fans, you have been a TRUE BLESSING through the dark times. I STILL LOVE YOU LUCY ANN,, I’M NOT A ROCK NOR AM I AN ISLAND, TRY TO PICTURE IF YOU CAN, ROBERT HOFFMAN SCANNING THE HORIZON….. I WILL WITNESS IT LIVE, I WILL SHED TEARS AMONGST FRIENDS AT ITS EMOTIVE BEAUTY
20 September 2025
dic aberdaron
boss that!
20 September 2025
Hendrix-tattoo
Great day and night was had here in Bonnie Scotland. Great as always to see everyone old and new. (It was nice to meet you Evil Gazebo) Excellent pre gig drinky poos and pizza. The band were in fantastic form and seemed to enjoy themselves. Hope you all got home safe and sound. Roll on Wolverhampton…
20 September 2025
CJM
…also incorporated into You Trip Me Up was the refrain from “The Boy Wonders” by Aztec Camera (the “high land hard rain” bit).
That was my first HMHB gig at the age of 52 and I absolutely loved it. The setlist was exquisite; I wanted two songs more than any others and got them: Oblong Of Dreams and Jack’s Been To The National. But the opportunity to holler “Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus” was not something I expected. It’s a tricky venue because it has such a high ceiling and JD Meatyard’s set kinda disappeared into the rafters which was a shame but HMHB handled it well and it sounded great from where I was standing.
20 September 2025
Eddie
Great gig. Someone help me: was Nigel’s Paisley/St Mirren reference, re Karl, one of his eclectic jokes? Or is there a Paisley link?
20 September 2025
I’ve been to tannadice
Simply brilliant!!! First time I’ve seen and didn’t disappoint. Possible Side Effects a highlight. Did anyone spot my Robert Hoffmann T-shirt?? Thanks for the Dundee United mention Nigel!!
20 September 2025
Brian Can't
Admittedly there’d been a wee drink taken, but I surely didn’t imagine the first two lines of Tom Waits’ Martha being sung before (I think) the batter into You Trip Me Up?
21 September 2025
dr DEsperate
I haven’t seen any footage yet, but I’d be prepared to believe Nigel added some Ivor Cutler to the JAMC cover. I was disappointed they hadn’t played him as my FBB choice for the walk-on music, so sang “Glasgow, Glasgow, where are you?” when they came back on for the encores, and I may have detected the hint of a smile.
(Which letter can be added twice to the name of a Glaswegian harmonium player to give a type of non-sustainable tableware?)
21 September 2025
Third rate les
That’s an amazing setlist
That run of 8 or so songs leading up to the finale would have exploded my head. And Surging!! Wow.
21 September 2025
Pablo
I did enjoy Nigel’s attempt to lick his elbow, during Surging, having given up on the joys of tantric sex
21 September 2025
major Rawlplug
Great gig but terrible sound even for Glasgow Academy standards. I barely heard a lyric except those I sung myself.
If they’re going to fill a venue that size, in 10 years time, when they play Glasgow again, it should be the Barras (which is probably about the best venue on earth).
21 September 2025
Exxo
Neil Crossley is a clucking genius! [ clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap , clap-clap, clap-clap] Neil Crossley is a clucking genius! [clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap, clap-clap ]
It’s only a matter of time before a setlist featuring 2 or 3 songs that include bird noises.
21 September 2025
Johnny Kwango
Bit of a delay in uploading any videos from Glasgow as have been in a somewhat isolated location with a very poor signal.
O2 Academy, Glasgow, Fri 19th Sept 2025 Roger Green:
Anyone who has joined in with a rousing rendition of Midnight Mass Murder may be interested to note the following article, lifted from the BBC site: “A Welsh valleys community has launched a campaign to save the chapel where the popular hymn Cwm Rhondda, or Bread of Heaven, was first sung. The composer John Hughes wrote the hymn in 1907 to celebrate a new organ at Capel Rhondda in Hopkinstown, near Pontypridd. The Grade II-listed building closed its doors in December after years of shrinking congregations and was put up for sale by the Baptist Union of Wales for £47,000 two months ago.” It might already be too late to get a bid in. You can but try.
The most recent Vive Le Rock magazine had the usual advert for HMHB gigs – tonight’s one in Glasgow, then Wolverhampton on Friday 7th November, Manchester on Friday 30th January 2026, London on Friday 17th April, and Nottingham on Friday 29th May. And there is now another one added in Leeds on Friday 14th August. The traumas go on for folk having to get tickets online. For example, Lou… “I’ve already bought my ticket using the Ticketbastard app – I don’t see why I should have to download another sodding app to view the thing.” And Dic Aberdaron with a succinct observation… “e-tickets are well shite”. I’m afraid the good old days of cheques and SAEs are not ever coming back. So, tough, we all have to live with this. And I’m with Paul Merk… “there’s nothing like having a printed ticket in your sky rocket.”
HMHB are back in Leeds, although there is a bit of a wait. The venue (Project House) is a new one on me. I staked it out. Going from the train station, it’s in totally the opposite direction to the usual Stylus venue, and is around a twenty-five minutes’ walk. You could always get a taxi.
Our general gig attendance remains at a minimum, with the exception of Sunday afternoon covers sessions at our local. Although we did manage a trip to Salford to see a stage version of the former TV show Ideal. That’s about it.
I read John Shuttleworth Takes The Biscuit. A fine, daft collection of his stories and songs, such as his homage to the A1111. From that book, I moved on to David Peace’s Munichs, a fictional adaption of the air disaster which took so many of Manchester United’s team in 1958. Both books are well worth the investment. And if you are of a certain age, you might want to try Jean Carper’s 100 Simple Things You Can Do To Prevent Alzheimer’s. I would suggest that going along to HMHB shows would be a big help. I’ll have to get back to you further down the line. If I remember.
May I join in with the general feeling of dismay when seeing HMHB described as a “parody band” on The Chase? That may be the case in the mind of some shallow researcher, but surely there is more to the band than that? The question asked for the title of HMHB’s first album. Martin Boyle pointed out succinctly on Chris’s site… “Funniest bit though, the contestant went on and on about music beforehand and got it wrong. Knobhead. Stick your synthesiser up yer jacksie.”
For what it’s worth, I saw that Sting listed his top ten songs of all time: Otis Redding – “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” Procol Harum – “A Whiter Shade Of Pale” Bob Marley & The Wailers – “No Woman, No Cry” Gerry Rafferty – “Baker Street” Pet Shop Boys – “West End Girls” George Michael/Wham! – “Careless Whisper” Eurythmics – “Here Comes The Rain Again” The Human League – “Don’t You Want Me” Peter Gabriel – “Sledgehammer” Shaggy – “It Wasn’t Me” No further questions, your Honour.
Ta to Andrew for sharing a thought. I checked that he was OK with me sharing it here… “I have come to the conclusion that HMHB LPs are like Charles Dickens’ novels – all very good, some better than others, lots more obvious humour early in the series, but then, without losing the humour, much more serious and dark later on. Nicholas Nickleby is the funniest one – then from Martin Chuzzlewit onwards, they get darker and darker… which inspired Dostoevsky!” Stick “Discuss” after Andrew’s point, and it wouldn’t be out of place as a question in an English Lit exam.
On Gig Day we were on a (relatively) early train out of Leeds. Into Glasgow a little after 1pm. We always look out to spot the first Biscuiteers when we arrive for these things. On this occasion it was Nigel and Denise crossing the road near the station while taking in the city. We talked about previous times when HMHB have played here (their last visit was 13 October 2017), at the place that ended up burning down. Soon after, we caught up with Postman Tony and Brian checking in to our hotel. Brian was keen to show us his new hearing aid (“It’s a game changer,” he commented later).
Not much surprise that there was no mention of the gig in the English versions of Metro or The Guardian. Similarly in The Herald. Media silence, but tonight is a sell out. Not for the first time. The only HMHB reference that we could find anywhere was Ben Shephard. He was presenting Tipping Point. And later on we caught Pointless. One of the questions concerned names of North Yorkshire moors. “Thurston Moor” was one of the possible choices. You can guess the rest.
Soon enough, it was time to walk to the venue. We went en masse with Tony, Lorna, Andrew and Phil. Bit of a queue while we waited for the doors to open. On the way to and from the merch stall, where I purchased a new Asimov tshirt from Miles, I had chats with Jon and Kim. Also spoke with Gerry from Cumbria, Steve, Cath, Nick, Sue, Lou (who had seen JD Meatyard the evening before) and Lee from Orkney. Lee was wearing a t-shirt from the Viz range with the spoof ad for Gnat West… “Left school? No job? No money? Then fuck off.”
More nods and Hellos with Postman Tony, John, Brian, Exxo, Andy, Niall and Mo, and JD Meatyard turned up on stage. I’m not totally up with all of his songs. But I recognised Blow It Out Your Arse and the one about Pablo Picasso. Slightly disappointed that he left out Ubu At Eric’s, but I was re-assured to see that JD retains his passion for the job.
In the interval I could just about make out The Wedding Present’s My Favourite Dress. Sorry didn’t catch the name of the local guy who was talking to us about the lack of paraphernalia on stage. Perhaps they normally have “bigger” bands at this place, but I’m happy with HMHB as they are. It would only mean more gear to lug around. And the band would need a larger van. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
Gomez and Howie have years of experience of hitting the hostelries, then arriving at gigs just in time for HMHB. True to form, I saw them just as the walk-on music, Mouldy Old Dough, was played.
“Had your flu jabs?” asked Nigel, before the band piped up with She’s In Broadstairs. Thanks to Mo for identifying Karl’s t-shirt as Chou Pahrot. That seems to be a band, possibly of the progressive tradition. I’ll have to do some research. Nigel drew attention to Karl’s footwear, “He’s got some new trainers.” There was some talk about Paisley and St Mirren. The first celebrity spotting was Damian Grammaticus. Immediately followed by Carol Kirkwood. Bearing in mind recent developments at a Coldplay gig, Nigel was keen to point out “They are here in a professional capacity.”
I’m Getting Buried In The Morning was “a song for anyone who has been on Death Row”. Nigel told the old favourite… He said he was on St Vincent Street earlier. He went in a Malaysian restaurant for a pelican curry which was very nice, but the bill was massive. If ever they remake The Comedians, Nigel is in with a chance of appearing. There’s more… “A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to Heaven. God says “You’ve led a good life, so I’ll answer you one question. And I will answer truthfully”. The bloke asks, “Who shot President Kennedy?” God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone.” The Conspiracy Theorist says “Oh, it goes THAT FAR up!”
At one point, Nigel felt that something was stabbing him. There was a toothpick in his back pocket, a common problem. He announced “This is about one of your own. Fantastic goalkeeper but…” ahead of Bob Wilson Anchorman. He started the gig wearing his glasses. When he took them off, he turned to Neil and said “Who are you?”.
Nigel quoted from a Public Information film from way back when. “Polish a floor. Put a rug on it. You might as well set a mantrap.” When spotting Muriel Gray, Nigel said “Did you get that smart meter fitted? I told you it’s not worth the bother. Same as Dubai chocolates. They’re just like Ferrero Rochers but have caused a shortage of pistachio nuts.”.
The following day, I got a note from Tony, who had been racking his brains, to say that the Tom Waits song where Nigel sang a snippet, was called Martha.
Nigel was struggling to open a bottle of water, blaming sweaty hands. He passed it to Neil who opened it easily enough, accompanied by a “wooooh” and cheers from the mosh pit. “I loosened it for him” claimed Nigel.
A guy in the crowd was said to look like Duncan Bannatyne from Dragons Den. This prompted Nigel to talk about his idea to take on that programme. It is a talking birthday card with Steve McClaren speaking in his faux Dutch accent. I’m getting one when they are in the shops. After McCalliog And His Hens, Nigel made reference to The Thirty-Nine Steps. “What causes pip in poultry?” is a question that was asked of the Memory Man. I’ve not seen the film for a while. We need to seek it out.
Steve McFadden was a late spot in the audience. He has a Shar Pei costing £3k. “I know it’s your birthday, but there’s no need to lean on the de-fibrilator.” Someone threw a t-shirt onto the stage, but Nigel was worried about the owner, so threw it back “You’ll catch your death” he advised.
At the end of the main set, Nigel said “Thank you very much. You’ve been great. Thank you.” And after the encore he said the standard “Have a great weekend. Weatherwise or otherwise.” With the way the rain fell on the Saturday, we ended up having a great weekend otherwise. At the previous gig at Castleton, Postman Tony threw his Horror Clown mask onto the stage. Tonight, Nigel threw it back to him. How very civilised. Here’s how the songs went:
She’s In Broadstairs Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus Horror Clowns Are Dickheads Renfield’s Afoot (“True story”) I’m Getting Buried In The Morning Rawlplugs Of Yesteryear (Breaking the USA) Bob Wilson Anchorman Terminus Venus In Flares Record Store Day That’s A Moray / Vatican Broadside National Shite Day The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train Running Order Squabble Fest Possible Side Effects All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune Surging Out Of Convalescence Look Dad No Tunes McCalliog And His Hens Oblong Of Dreams Every Time A Bell Rings The Trumpton Riots Everything’s AOR
And in the encore: Jack’s Been To The National You Trip Me Up Joy Division Oven Gloves
Carl came to the front and gave us a thumbs up at the end. Due to the height of the stage, our only view of him had been the top of his head and his hi-hat cymbal. Also, thanks to Karl for throwing his set list into the huge moat. Said Hellos to a few folk on the way out, including Mike and Graham Le Taxi. And it was great to catch up with Peter Ross right at the end of the evening. He has a new book out soon. More details to follow. Bon Voyage to Andy. He was travelling to Madrid the day after this show. And then on to South America.
Our route home (Glasgow to Carlisle and Carlisle to Leeds) took us through Dent, being the highest operating mainline station in England. It’s a splendid line with some grand views even on a day like we experienced. And some great place names like Ribblehead and Armathwaite. I’m sure that Barnstoneworth is round there somewhere. We’ll be back on board in November, heading to Wolverhampton.
21 September 2025
S
@EDDIE Chou Pahrot (t-shirt) were from Paisley, though this puts another hole in my “met the drummer in Cumbernauld” tale.
21 September 2025
S
@major rawlplug Feel your pain on the sound having seen a very muffled shows in Cornwall ages ago. I was down the front and found the sound ok though. When they announced the O2 as the venue I genuinely thought “they’ll never fill that” and wondered if the promoters had mistaken it for the old, non-flame-retardant O2 ABC. My bad, they got it spot on capacity-wise as the Barras would have sold out given that they had to open the O2 balcony on Friday. I reckon two nights at the Barras next time is the sensible option.
21 September 2025
IRN DJ
I’ve just read Roger’s excellent (as ever) Glasgow review. I was walking up our High Street with my missus on Friday afternoon past a sign outside a cafe advertising Dubai chocolate.
I swear to God I turned to her and said “I’m surprised that hasn’t made it into a Half Man Half Biscuit lyric”.
21 September 2025
Exxo
Thanks Roger (and Karen). Your excellent reportage is a good way to pass the minutes at Preston station as I await the final part of my 13-leg Scottish odyssey (or maybe 14th of 15, if you count cycling to and from Leeds station).
Jonathan Richman’s ‘Pablo Picasso’ was one of my favourite songs as a late teenager (though I grew out of it a lot quicker than JDM, and I suspect PP was often called an asshole), so I just felt the need to mention that it’s a cover.
Yeah very quiet muddy vocals where i was for about the first 7-ish songs, but got louder and improved.
Unlike the drug-addled loon who was shouting his obscenities from the street, then fire escape and roof of the Hill Street Travelodge in the early hours… i think i actually had his footsteps above my ceiling at one point. Anyone else hear him from any of the 3 or more hotels on that block?
21 September 2025
Exxo
Really lovely to meet up with everyone at and after the gig. The 4th gig in a row I havent had to get away straight after, and the Laurieston on a Friday night was a great way to frame the memories as truly Glaswegian ones. Thanks for the beers Doc & Elizabeth – my round next time. Loved the moment when an Andy that we’d just met embraced Niall to thank him for writing ‘Strachan.’
I think this has been one of my favourite years of four decades of Bicky gigs, cos they’ve all had a bit of the Euro away match vibe, in differenr ways.
I’ll keep an eye out for more coming in but the search isn’t that reliable.
21 September 2025
dr DEsperate
Excellent work, all! Proof, if proof were needed, that Nigel sang “Operator, operator, number please, it’s been so many years” (the opening lines of Tom Waits’ ‘Martha’) as intro to ‘Jack’s Been to The National’ and “Glasgow, Glasgow, where are you? 200 from my door” (Ivor Cutler, passim) before ‘You Trip Me Up’.
22 September 2025
Transit full of Keith
The public information film in question: https://youtu.be/1z8Vg20G4kI?si=EMvdqm4pKEpYtWlG An upbeat start, but a narrator whose voice drips with contempt. Effective, if lacking the full creeping horror of Jimmy’s frisbee, or ‘The Finishing Line’
22 September 2025
paul f
“You might as well set a man-trap” is a phrase still in common usage in my household. A classic of the genre, but Dark and Lonely Water will always be the GOAT.
22 September 2025
GORDON BURNS
Nobody has mentioned yet that Nigel gave us a short lecture on toast preparation. It needs to be given time to breath before buttering. He doesn’t have a toast rack, so he leans the pieces against each other. Educational stuff.
22 September 2025
Hendrix-tattoo
And the loaf he uses is a medium Hovis soft white….
22 September 2025
The Tutor With The Beard and The Polio
@Gordon Burns. Is this to prevent toast sweat?
22 September 2025
Paul f
Doesn’t everybody do that?
22 September 2025
dr DEsperate
Q. How does Hendrix-Tattoo know that Nigel prefers an MHSW loaf? A. That was the packet his Horror Clown mask was wrapped in when Nigel chucked it back out to him on Friday. (Signed “From your showbiz pal”.)
22 September 2025
EVil gazebo
there was also some marmalade chat… I forget which brand Nigel said his household preferred…
23 September 2025
EXXO
I think Nigel did the “I’ve been to Tannadice, but I’ve never done Dundee” line, then mentioned Dundee marmalade and expressed a preference for Duerr’s. I think (but I’m not sure, because I kept seeing references to Donald Dewar wherever I went in Glasgow, including a statue near Queen Street and a building near the gig, so that might have put Duerr’s in me head. I used to know his daughter).
The butter advice might have come out of the marmalade thoughts. It surely won’t have been someone like Neil suggesting he needs a guitar rack, and thence to the toast rack.
I’ve not eaten butter since the sixties – never liked it and realised (at someone else’s house when I was about 6) there was a choice, so became a refusenik (see also eggs). But I butter Mrs. Exford’s toast every morning and Nigel’s advice at the gig mystified me, because I find the butter just won’t go in if the toast isn’t straight out of the toaster, oven-gloves-hot really, but you’ll never guess what … I have developed asbestos fingers.
23 September 2025
EVil gazebo
On the topic… has anyone noticed Rose’s Lemon & Lime marmalade becoming rather a scarce commodity? Disappeared from the shelves of the local Tesco.
23 September 2025
EXXO
Did anyone notice that when Steve McFadden was spotted, NB gave an ultra-rare clarification of who he was? AKA Phil Mitchell, he said. I must admit though until Roger’s report clarified it, I thought he’d paid £3,000 for a sharpie. Shar pei, eh? Bound to be useful when eatching ‘Pointless’ before too long.
Must say a big well played to the four lads who were together front middle and who really helped start critical mass for the modestly-proportioned mosh in the later stages. It was one of them who started the t-shirt tennis. Nigel threw it back twice before errm, someone threw it back towards him a third time and the security curtailed the game, incomplete at 40-30.
23 September 2025
dic aberdaron
mackays 3 fruit marmalade all the way
23 September 2025
EVil gazebo
I believe after some research the T shirt in question was emblazoned with a Venn diagram with the sets reading “Music I Like” and “Music you like”, with the intersection being “Music I used to like”
23 September 2025
EXXo
Yeah, I wasn’t going to say, ‘cos if I had I’d have had to say I get the joke but it doesn’t make any sense as a Venn diagram unless the right-hand one is “music I liked before I met you.”
Hehe, never saw that, soz, it’s just habit from much busier forums, and forums more prone to dullness, that I would never click on a link unless the poster’s introduction grabbed me, so never on a bare link.
Anyway CtSO could delete my posts if he could be arsed.
Excellent digging, HC/Schoon. I have never seen that interview before from summer 2003, and it’s a good one.
[The interviewer doesn’t seem to realise Tranmere is part of Birkenhead. BTW Rovers beat Brentford 4-1 in that opening day fixture referred to in the interview, and once they had appointed Brian Little in October had a pretty decent season]
31 December 2025
Transit full of Keith
Four things (at least) in that interview that made their way into lyrics.
1 January 2026
Paul f
When I first heard “Bad Wools” that phrase about “checking out” had stuck in my mind. Looking back at the song discussion I can see that I had read the interview on Gez’s site at some point.
1 January 2026
EXXO
OK, so I must have seen the interview before.
Anyone else notice that nobody’s taught that particular AI the musical use of “tighter,” so it thought given the fuzzy print of the article that the band must be “marginally lighter now.” Teehee, and other spellings of my own titters.
✉ Letters Sent (52)
Skip to the most recent comment
(9 months ago by Exxo)
Mark Holme
This will be my first gig by anyone since we moved to Argyll just over two years ago as its a two hour drive to the nearest concert venue.
I last saw HMHB in Manchester three days after my 60th birthday in 2022 and am so excited to hear tracks from the new record played live alongside the old classics.
I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and stays safe.
17 September 2025
Anon
Great gig but the sound!?!
19 September 2025
Twistedkitemike
Merely an update with the set list, as I need some kip and on the train back South….
Broadstairs
Fred T
Horror Clowns
Batwalk
Buried in the Morning
Rawlplugs
Bob W
Terminus
Venus
RSD
Vatican
NSD
Light Tunnel
Squabblefest
Poss Side Effects
DPAK
Trad Arr Tune
Surging
Look Dad
McCalliog
Oblong
Bell Rings
Trumpton
AOR
………………………..
Jack National
You Trip Me Up (Jesus & Mary Chain)
JDOG
Great night.
Mike……..
20 September 2025
S
Excellent set, ears still ringing. So I’m not sure if I heard correctly that JD Meatyard was actually born in Lennox Castle?
Other local reference points of note: Karl was wearing a “rare, Paisley” Chou Pahrot t-shirt (as I found when I zoomed in on my pix).
As is traditional for shows here, ‘Ivor Cutler’s ‘Glasgow Dreamer’ was incorporated into the (highly untraditional) Mary Chain cover.
And point of order: a bit remiss of Nigel to have helped Muriel Gray with her smart meter given that she was responsible for burning down the O2 ABC (scene of the band’s last Glasgow gig).
20 September 2025
Stringy Bob
Couldn’t be there dure to my 87 year old mums dementia issues. Fuckin gutted I missed the live debut of POSSIBLE SIDE. I hope the beauty of it reduced many of you to tears.
Post DECENT videos of it online. It’s a song that takes you on a journey to an incredible place only HMHB provide transport to.
See you in Wolverhampton, my wonderful HMHB family. Love the band and community of fans, you have been a TRUE BLESSING through the dark times.
I STILL LOVE YOU LUCY ANN,, I’M NOT A ROCK NOR AM I AN ISLAND, TRY TO PICTURE IF YOU CAN, ROBERT HOFFMAN SCANNING THE HORIZON….. I WILL WITNESS IT LIVE, I WILL SHED TEARS AMONGST FRIENDS AT ITS EMOTIVE BEAUTY
20 September 2025
dic aberdaron
boss that!
20 September 2025
Hendrix-tattoo
Great day and night was had here in Bonnie Scotland. Great as always to see everyone old and new. (It was nice to meet you Evil Gazebo)
Excellent pre gig drinky poos and pizza. The band were in fantastic form and seemed to enjoy themselves. Hope you all got home safe and sound.
Roll on Wolverhampton…
20 September 2025
CJM
…also incorporated into You Trip Me Up was the refrain from “The Boy Wonders” by Aztec Camera (the “high land hard rain” bit).
That was my first HMHB gig at the age of 52 and I absolutely loved it. The setlist was exquisite; I wanted two songs more than any others and got them: Oblong Of Dreams and Jack’s Been To The National. But the opportunity to holler “Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus” was not something I expected. It’s a tricky venue because it has such a high ceiling and JD Meatyard’s set kinda disappeared into the rafters which was a shame but HMHB handled it well and it sounded great from where I was standing.
20 September 2025
Eddie
Great gig. Someone help me: was Nigel’s Paisley/St Mirren reference, re Karl, one of his eclectic jokes? Or is there a Paisley link?
20 September 2025
I’ve been to tannadice
Simply brilliant!!! First time I’ve seen and didn’t disappoint. Possible Side Effects a highlight. Did anyone spot my Robert Hoffmann T-shirt?? Thanks for the Dundee United mention Nigel!!
20 September 2025
Brian Can't
Admittedly there’d been a wee drink taken, but I surely didn’t imagine the first two lines of Tom Waits’ Martha being sung before (I think) the batter into You Trip Me Up?
21 September 2025
dr DEsperate
I haven’t seen any footage yet, but I’d be prepared to believe Nigel added some Ivor Cutler to the JAMC cover. I was disappointed they hadn’t played him as my FBB choice for the walk-on music, so sang “Glasgow, Glasgow, where are you?” when they came back on for the encores, and I may have detected the hint of a smile.
(Which letter can be added twice to the name of a Glaswegian harmonium player to give a type of non-sustainable tableware?)
21 September 2025
Third rate les
That’s an amazing setlist
That run of 8 or so songs leading up to the finale would have exploded my head. And Surging!! Wow.
21 September 2025
Pablo
I did enjoy Nigel’s attempt to lick his elbow, during Surging, having given up on the joys of tantric sex
21 September 2025
major Rawlplug
Great gig but terrible sound even for Glasgow Academy standards.
I barely heard a lyric except those I sung myself.
If they’re going to fill a venue that size, in 10 years time, when they play Glasgow again, it should be the Barras (which is probably about the best venue on earth).
21 September 2025
Exxo
Neil Crossley is a clucking genius!
[ clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap , clap-clap, clap-clap]
Neil Crossley is a clucking genius!
[clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap, clap-clap ]
It’s only a matter of time before a setlist featuring 2 or 3 songs that include bird noises.
21 September 2025
Johnny Kwango
Bit of a delay in uploading any videos from Glasgow as have been in a somewhat isolated location with a very poor signal.
Here’s Jack’s Been plus the JAMC cover unedited.
https://youtu.be/6w2yHGi9Sr0?si=jXSrIDoSeMXn8nPS
21 September 2025
CARRIE ANNE
Roger’s report of the Glasgow gig, copied over from Gez’s website https://www.hmhb.co.uk/
O2 Academy, Glasgow, Fri 19th Sept 2025
Roger Green:
Anyone who has joined in with a rousing rendition of Midnight Mass Murder may be interested to note the following article, lifted from the BBC site:
“A Welsh valleys community has launched a campaign to save the chapel where the popular hymn Cwm Rhondda, or Bread of Heaven, was first sung. The composer John Hughes wrote the hymn in 1907 to celebrate a new organ at Capel Rhondda in Hopkinstown, near Pontypridd. The Grade II-listed building closed its doors in December after years of shrinking congregations and was put up for sale by the Baptist Union of Wales for £47,000 two months ago.” It might already be too late to get a bid in. You can but try.
The most recent Vive Le Rock magazine had the usual advert for HMHB gigs – tonight’s one in Glasgow, then Wolverhampton on Friday 7th November, Manchester on Friday 30th January 2026, London on Friday 17th April, and Nottingham on Friday 29th May. And there is now another one added in Leeds on Friday 14th August. The traumas go on for folk having to get tickets online. For example, Lou… “I’ve already bought my ticket using the Ticketbastard app – I don’t see why I should have to download another sodding app to view the thing.” And Dic Aberdaron with a succinct observation… “e-tickets are well shite”. I’m afraid the good old days of cheques and SAEs are not ever coming back. So, tough, we all have to live with this. And I’m with Paul Merk… “there’s nothing like having a printed ticket in your sky rocket.”
HMHB are back in Leeds, although there is a bit of a wait. The venue (Project House) is a new one on me. I staked it out. Going from the train station, it’s in totally the opposite direction to the usual Stylus venue, and is around a twenty-five minutes’ walk. You could always get a taxi.
Our general gig attendance remains at a minimum, with the exception of Sunday afternoon covers sessions at our local. Although we did manage a trip to Salford to see a stage version of the former TV show Ideal. That’s about it.
I read John Shuttleworth Takes The Biscuit. A fine, daft collection of his stories and songs, such as his homage to the A1111. From that book, I moved on to David Peace’s Munichs, a fictional adaption of the air disaster which took so many of Manchester United’s team in 1958. Both books are well worth the investment. And if you are of a certain age, you might want to try Jean Carper’s 100 Simple Things You Can Do To Prevent Alzheimer’s. I would suggest that going along to HMHB shows would be a big help. I’ll have to get back to you further down the line. If I remember.
May I join in with the general feeling of dismay when seeing HMHB described as a “parody band” on The Chase? That may be the case in the mind of some shallow researcher, but surely there is more to the band than that? The question asked for the title of HMHB’s first album. Martin Boyle pointed out succinctly on Chris’s site… “Funniest bit though, the contestant went on and on about music beforehand and got it wrong. Knobhead. Stick your synthesiser up yer jacksie.”
For what it’s worth, I saw that Sting listed his top ten songs of all time:
Otis Redding – “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay”
Procol Harum – “A Whiter Shade Of Pale”
Bob Marley & The Wailers – “No Woman, No Cry”
Gerry Rafferty – “Baker Street”
Pet Shop Boys – “West End Girls”
George Michael/Wham! – “Careless Whisper”
Eurythmics – “Here Comes The Rain Again”
The Human League – “Don’t You Want Me”
Peter Gabriel – “Sledgehammer”
Shaggy – “It Wasn’t Me”
No further questions, your Honour.
Ta to Andrew for sharing a thought. I checked that he was OK with me sharing it here… “I have come to the conclusion that HMHB LPs are like Charles Dickens’ novels – all very good, some better than others, lots more obvious humour early in the series, but then, without losing the humour, much more serious and dark later on. Nicholas Nickleby is the funniest one – then from Martin Chuzzlewit onwards, they get darker and darker… which inspired Dostoevsky!” Stick “Discuss” after Andrew’s point, and it wouldn’t be out of place as a question in an English Lit exam.
On Gig Day we were on a (relatively) early train out of Leeds. Into Glasgow a little after 1pm. We always look out to spot the first Biscuiteers when we arrive for these things. On this occasion it was Nigel and Denise crossing the road near the station while taking in the city. We talked about previous times when HMHB have played here (their last visit was 13 October 2017), at the place that ended up burning down. Soon after, we caught up with Postman Tony and Brian checking in to our hotel. Brian was keen to show us his new hearing aid (“It’s a game changer,” he commented later).
Not much surprise that there was no mention of the gig in the English versions of Metro or The Guardian. Similarly in The Herald. Media silence, but tonight is a sell out. Not for the first time. The only HMHB reference that we could find anywhere was Ben Shephard. He was presenting Tipping Point. And later on we caught Pointless. One of the questions concerned names of North Yorkshire moors. “Thurston Moor” was one of the possible choices. You can guess the rest.
Soon enough, it was time to walk to the venue. We went en masse with Tony, Lorna, Andrew and Phil. Bit of a queue while we waited for the doors to open. On the way to and from the merch stall, where I purchased a new Asimov tshirt from Miles, I had chats with Jon and Kim. Also spoke with Gerry from Cumbria, Steve, Cath, Nick, Sue, Lou (who had seen JD Meatyard the evening before) and Lee from Orkney. Lee was wearing a t-shirt from the Viz range with the spoof ad for Gnat West… “Left school? No job? No money? Then fuck off.”
More nods and Hellos with Postman Tony, John, Brian, Exxo, Andy, Niall and Mo, and JD Meatyard turned up on stage. I’m not totally up with all of his songs. But I recognised Blow It Out Your Arse and the one about Pablo Picasso. Slightly disappointed that he left out Ubu At Eric’s, but I was re-assured to see that JD retains his passion for the job.
In the interval I could just about make out The Wedding Present’s My Favourite Dress. Sorry didn’t catch the name of the local guy who was talking to us about the lack of paraphernalia on stage. Perhaps they normally have “bigger” bands at this place, but I’m happy with HMHB as they are. It would only mean more gear to lug around. And the band would need a larger van. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
Gomez and Howie have years of experience of hitting the hostelries, then arriving at gigs just in time for HMHB. True to form, I saw them just as the walk-on music, Mouldy Old Dough, was played.
“Had your flu jabs?” asked Nigel, before the band piped up with She’s In Broadstairs. Thanks to Mo for identifying Karl’s t-shirt as Chou Pahrot. That seems to be a band, possibly of the progressive tradition. I’ll have to do some research. Nigel drew attention to Karl’s footwear, “He’s got some new trainers.” There was some talk about Paisley and St Mirren. The first celebrity spotting was Damian Grammaticus. Immediately followed by Carol Kirkwood. Bearing in mind recent developments at a Coldplay gig, Nigel was keen to point out “They are here in a professional capacity.”
I’m Getting Buried In The Morning was “a song for anyone who has been on Death Row”. Nigel told the old favourite… He said he was on St Vincent Street earlier. He went in a Malaysian restaurant for a pelican curry which was very nice, but the bill was massive. If ever they remake The Comedians, Nigel is in with a chance of appearing. There’s more… “A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to Heaven. God says “You’ve led a good life, so I’ll answer you one question. And I will answer truthfully”. The bloke asks, “Who shot President Kennedy?” God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone.” The Conspiracy Theorist says “Oh, it goes THAT FAR up!”
At one point, Nigel felt that something was stabbing him. There was a toothpick in his back pocket, a common problem. He announced “This is about one of your own. Fantastic goalkeeper but…” ahead of Bob Wilson Anchorman. He started the gig wearing his glasses. When he took them off, he turned to Neil and said “Who are you?”.
Nigel quoted from a Public Information film from way back when. “Polish a floor. Put a rug on it. You might as well set a mantrap.” When spotting Muriel Gray, Nigel said “Did you get that smart meter fitted? I told you it’s not worth the bother. Same as Dubai chocolates. They’re just like Ferrero Rochers but have caused a shortage of pistachio nuts.”.
The following day, I got a note from Tony, who had been racking his brains, to say that the Tom Waits song where Nigel sang a snippet, was called Martha.
Nigel was struggling to open a bottle of water, blaming sweaty hands. He passed it to Neil who opened it easily enough, accompanied by a “wooooh” and cheers from the mosh pit. “I loosened it for him” claimed Nigel.
A guy in the crowd was said to look like Duncan Bannatyne from Dragons Den. This prompted Nigel to talk about his idea to take on that programme. It is a talking birthday card with Steve McClaren speaking in his faux Dutch accent. I’m getting one when they are in the shops. After McCalliog And His Hens, Nigel made reference to The Thirty-Nine Steps. “What causes pip in poultry?” is a question that was asked of the Memory Man. I’ve not seen the film for a while. We need to seek it out.
Steve McFadden was a late spot in the audience. He has a Shar Pei costing £3k. “I know it’s your birthday, but there’s no need to lean on the de-fibrilator.” Someone threw a t-shirt onto the stage, but Nigel was worried about the owner, so threw it back “You’ll catch your death” he advised.
At the end of the main set, Nigel said “Thank you very much. You’ve been great. Thank you.” And after the encore he said the standard “Have a great weekend. Weatherwise or otherwise.” With the way the rain fell on the Saturday, we ended up having a great weekend otherwise. At the previous gig at Castleton, Postman Tony threw his Horror Clown mask onto the stage. Tonight, Nigel threw it back to him. How very civilised.
Here’s how the songs went:
She’s In Broadstairs
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
Horror Clowns Are Dickheads
Renfield’s Afoot (“True story”)
I’m Getting Buried In The Morning
Rawlplugs Of Yesteryear (Breaking the USA)
Bob Wilson Anchorman
Terminus
Venus In Flares
Record Store Day
That’s A Moray / Vatican Broadside
National Shite Day
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
Running Order Squabble Fest
Possible Side Effects
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
Surging Out Of Convalescence
Look Dad No Tunes
McCalliog And His Hens
Oblong Of Dreams
Every Time A Bell Rings
The Trumpton Riots
Everything’s AOR
And in the encore:
Jack’s Been To The National
You Trip Me Up
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Carl came to the front and gave us a thumbs up at the end. Due to the height of the stage, our only view of him had been the top of his head and his hi-hat cymbal. Also, thanks to Karl for throwing his set list into the huge moat. Said Hellos to a few folk on the way out, including Mike and Graham Le Taxi. And it was great to catch up with Peter Ross right at the end of the evening. He has a new book out soon. More details to follow. Bon Voyage to Andy. He was travelling to Madrid the day after this show. And then on to South America.
Our route home (Glasgow to Carlisle and Carlisle to Leeds) took us through Dent, being the highest operating mainline station in England. It’s a splendid line with some grand views even on a day like we experienced. And some great place names like Ribblehead and Armathwaite. I’m sure that Barnstoneworth is round there somewhere. We’ll be back on board in November, heading to Wolverhampton.
21 September 2025
S
@EDDIE Chou Pahrot (t-shirt) were from Paisley, though this puts another hole in my “met the drummer in Cumbernauld” tale.
21 September 2025
S
@major rawlplug Feel your pain on the sound having seen a very muffled shows in Cornwall ages ago. I was down the front and found the sound ok though. When they announced the O2 as the venue I genuinely thought “they’ll never fill that” and wondered if the promoters had mistaken it for the old, non-flame-retardant O2 ABC. My bad, they got it spot on capacity-wise as the Barras would have sold out given that they had to open the O2 balcony on Friday. I reckon two nights at the Barras next time is the sensible option.
21 September 2025
IRN DJ
I’ve just read Roger’s excellent (as ever) Glasgow review. I was walking up our High Street with my missus on Friday afternoon past a sign outside a cafe advertising Dubai chocolate.
I swear to God I turned to her and said “I’m surprised that hasn’t made it into a Half Man Half Biscuit lyric”.
21 September 2025
Exxo
Thanks Roger (and Karen). Your excellent reportage is a good way to pass the minutes at Preston station as I await the final part of my 13-leg Scottish odyssey (or maybe 14th of 15, if you count cycling to and from Leeds station).
Jonathan Richman’s ‘Pablo Picasso’ was one of my favourite songs as a late teenager (though I grew out of it a lot quicker than JDM, and I suspect PP was often called an asshole), so I just felt the need to mention that it’s a cover.
Yeah very quiet muddy vocals where i was for about the first 7-ish songs, but got louder and improved.
Unlike the drug-addled loon who was shouting his obscenities from the street, then fire escape and roof of the Hill Street Travelodge in the early hours… i think i actually had his footsteps above my ceiling at one point. Anyone else hear him from any of the 3 or more hotels on that block?
21 September 2025
Exxo
Really lovely to meet up with everyone at and after the gig. The 4th gig in a row I havent had to get away straight after, and the Laurieston on a Friday night was a great way to frame the memories as truly Glaswegian ones. Thanks for the beers Doc & Elizabeth – my round next time. Loved the moment when an Andy that we’d just met embraced Niall to thank him for writing ‘Strachan.’
I think this has been one of my favourite years of four decades of Bicky gigs, cos they’ve all had a bit of the Euro away match vibe, in differenr ways.
21 September 2025
BiscuitGigs
That’s the first few videos up on the Data Retrieval System. Thanks to Johnny, John Parkyn & Martin Collinson.
I’ll keep an eye out for more coming in but the search isn’t that reliable.
21 September 2025
dr DEsperate
Excellent work, all!
Proof, if proof were needed, that Nigel sang “Operator, operator, number please, it’s been so many years” (the opening lines of Tom Waits’ ‘Martha’) as intro to ‘Jack’s Been to The National’ and “Glasgow, Glasgow, where are you? 200 from my door” (Ivor Cutler, passim) before ‘You Trip Me Up’.
22 September 2025
Transit full of Keith
The public information film in question:
https://youtu.be/1z8Vg20G4kI?si=EMvdqm4pKEpYtWlG
An upbeat start, but a narrator whose voice drips with contempt. Effective, if lacking the full creeping horror of Jimmy’s frisbee, or ‘The Finishing Line’
22 September 2025
paul f
“You might as well set a man-trap” is a phrase still in common usage in my household. A classic of the genre, but Dark and Lonely Water will always be the GOAT.
22 September 2025
GORDON BURNS
Nobody has mentioned yet that Nigel gave us a short lecture on toast preparation. It needs to be given time to breath before buttering. He doesn’t have a toast rack, so he leans the pieces against each other. Educational stuff.
22 September 2025
Hendrix-tattoo
And the loaf he uses is a medium Hovis soft white….
22 September 2025
The Tutor With The Beard and The Polio
@Gordon Burns. Is this to prevent toast sweat?
22 September 2025
Paul f
Doesn’t everybody do that?
22 September 2025
dr DEsperate
Q. How does Hendrix-Tattoo know that Nigel prefers an MHSW loaf?
A. That was the packet his Horror Clown mask was wrapped in when Nigel chucked it back out to him on Friday. (Signed “From your showbiz pal”.)
22 September 2025
EVil gazebo
there was also some marmalade chat… I forget which brand Nigel said his household preferred…
23 September 2025
EXXO
I think Nigel did the “I’ve been to Tannadice, but I’ve never done Dundee” line, then mentioned Dundee marmalade and expressed a preference for Duerr’s. I think (but I’m not sure, because I kept seeing references to Donald Dewar wherever I went in Glasgow, including a statue near Queen Street and a building near the gig, so that might have put Duerr’s in me head. I used to know his daughter).
The butter advice might have come out of the marmalade thoughts. It surely won’t have been someone like Neil suggesting he needs a guitar rack, and thence to the toast rack.
I’ve not eaten butter since the sixties – never liked it and realised (at someone else’s house when I was about 6) there was a choice, so became a refusenik (see also eggs). But I butter Mrs. Exford’s toast every morning and Nigel’s advice at the gig mystified me, because I find the butter just won’t go in if the toast isn’t straight out of the toaster, oven-gloves-hot really, but you’ll never guess what … I have developed asbestos fingers.
23 September 2025
EVil gazebo
On the topic… has anyone noticed Rose’s Lemon & Lime marmalade becoming rather a scarce commodity? Disappeared from the shelves of the local Tesco.
23 September 2025
EXXO
Did anyone notice that when Steve McFadden was spotted, NB gave an ultra-rare clarification of who he was? AKA Phil Mitchell, he said. I must admit though until Roger’s report clarified it, I thought he’d paid £3,000 for a sharpie. Shar pei, eh? Bound to be useful when eatching ‘Pointless’ before too long.
Must say a big well played to the four lads who were together front middle and who really helped start critical mass for the modestly-proportioned mosh in the later stages.
It was one of them who started the t-shirt tennis. Nigel threw it back twice before errm, someone threw it back towards him a third time and the security curtailed the game, incomplete at 40-30.
23 September 2025
dic aberdaron
mackays 3 fruit marmalade all the way
23 September 2025
EVil gazebo
I believe after some research the T shirt in question was emblazoned with a Venn diagram with the sets reading “Music I Like” and “Music you like”, with the intersection being “Music I used to like”
23 September 2025
EXXo
Yeah, I wasn’t going to say, ‘cos if I had I’d have had to say I get the joke but it doesn’t make any sense as a Venn diagram unless the right-hand one is “music I liked before I met you.”
23 September 2025
Johnny kwango
@EG #33
I believe it was Frank Cooper’s:
https://www.frankcoopers.co.uk/
23 September 2025
alan
are the lads promoting themselves? organising the gigs
25 September 2025
Transit full of Keith
@Alan: No, most gigs are promoted by Gig Cartel.
26 September 2025
blighted ray
https://www.isthismusic.com/half-man-half-biscuit-jd-meatyard
26 September 2025
Johnny kwango
With apologies for the delay …
McCalliog And His Hens
https://youtu.be/Aj_gmu7muTk?si=VYb5BCYxND5Nv-Ig
Running Order Squabble Fest
https://youtu.be/cC1kHODCIBg?si=dU4RTTC21eLCdKC9
Record Store Day
https://youtu.be/FwflsQrGmR4?si=JIeQxPsZohrqczFr
Horror Clowns
https://youtu.be/7la0W0EYWHk?si=N0ufCZeslloH6Z0d
Any problems please let me know!
5 October 2025
EXXO
Gig review from a Scottish music blog, which tastefully included ‘All Asimov’ as #12 in its 2025 chart (as posted by Chris), but apparently didn’t review the album.
https://www.isthismusic.com/half-man-half-biscuit-jd-meatyard
31 December 2025
Blighted ray
See also post #43
31 December 2025
Exxo
Hehe, never saw that, soz, it’s just habit from much busier forums, and forums more prone to dullness, that I would never click on a link unless the poster’s introduction grabbed me, so never on a bare link.
Anyway CtSO could delete my posts if he could be arsed.
31 December 2025
horror clown
It’s also got an interview with NB from 2003, which may or may not be elsewhere on this site.
https://www.isthismusic.com/half-man-half-biscuit-3
31 December 2025
EXXO
Excellent digging, HC/Schoon. I have never seen that interview before from summer 2003, and it’s a good one.
[The interviewer doesn’t seem to realise Tranmere is part of Birkenhead. BTW Rovers beat Brentford 4-1 in that opening day fixture referred to in the interview, and once they had appointed Brian Little in October had a pretty decent season]
31 December 2025
Transit full of Keith
Four things (at least) in that interview that made their way into lyrics.
1 January 2026
Paul f
When I first heard “Bad Wools” that phrase about “checking out” had stuck in my mind. Looking back at the song discussion I can see that I had read the interview on Gez’s site at some point.
1 January 2026
EXXO
OK, so I must have seen the interview before.
Anyone else notice that nobody’s taught that particular AI the musical use of “tighter,” so it thought given the fuzzy print of the article that the band must be “marginally lighter now.” Teehee, and other spellings of my own titters.
2 January 2026