On the day when England actually beat the bloody Aussies at Lords for once, it seemed appropriate to add a cricket-related song, of which there are surprisingly few in the Half Man Half Biscuit songbook. Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus refers to the former Middlesex and England off spinner who would have plied much of his trade at Lords (not a fiery Yorkshire pace legend, take note Kevin Sampson) and I guess is probably one of those early songs which permeated more widely into the public consciousness (as in “Half Man Half Biscuit? Aren’t they the ones who did…?”). Thanks to Nigel, Tony and Martin
See lyrics to Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
Ricardo
I think it’s
As she disembarked BUT I didn’t seem to care
‘Cos someone passed THAT made me stop and stare.
20 July 2009
Keir Hardie
small N in nicks, I’d say, despite the obvious worldplay. Unless you think it’s referring primarily to books she posseses/created, then it needs an apostrophe on the end.
20 July 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Thanks guys. I’d never, ever thought about the “small n” concept before, but it makes so much sense. Well, well.
20 July 2009
Charles Exford
Exford [off stage, harping on, but not ranting]: Similar concept as to why “lost” shouldn’t be capitalised in t’other jobbie methinks.
Good work on this one chaps.
20 July 2009
Steve Malkmoose
Hmmm… now I have spent over 20 years thinking that the lyric was “Stevie Nicks plucks about kleptomania” (being a guitarist and all). Do my ears deceive me?
21 July 2009
Paul F
They do Steve – they do. And to my knowledge Ms Nicks can play nothing more technical than a tambourine.
22 July 2009
Mr Larrington
Apparently Ms Nicks can also play guitar and keyboards. And she’s *not* a witch – Mick Fleetwood put that nose on her.
For a long time I thought the line was “Stevie Nicks talks about kleptomania”, but then I got some new headphones.
22 July 2009
Paul F
Well you learn something new every day.
22 July 2009
a_p
If Stevie nicks does Talvin sing?
22 July 2009
Charles Exford
“To book about” isn’t a verb, so ‘nicks’ has to have a small n.
“To sing” is a verb, so that one may perhaps not be a small letter, or not, but surely it conveys the joke better if we write Talvin Singh.
On the other hand ‘the reason why Paradise Lost’ makes no sense at all. It’s like writing ‘you’re the reason why Oxford United’, if you were making a pun about say, big Ron Atkinson, as opposed to you’re ‘the reason why Oxford united’, which works.
[Sometimes I only write these comments ‘cos I’m working overseas, and wishing there were 50 posts a day on here to entertain us. There should be.]
22 July 2009
Ian in Colorado
Oh, surely it’s “N’? It’s not using “books about” as a verb, CE.
I’ve always assumed it referred to some Californian drippy thing where she wrote the books about kleptomania, like the way they write books about self-improvement. The small “n” is the secondary play, not the “N”?
25 July 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Well, I assume we’re now discussing whether it’s:
Stevie nicks books about kleptomania
or
Stevie Nicks’ books about kleptomania
…correct? And although it would be impossible to discern which was right from listening to them, the former “fits in” with the lines before and after, which both (also) start with a proper noun and then a verb.
What does the old “lyrics book” say, those of you who have a copy? Not that it’s always proved that accurate in the past!
25 July 2009
Dave F.
Both the CD booklet & the lyric book have it with a capitalized N but no apostrophe.
And in the booklet kleptomania is, for some unknown reason, capitalized.
Both show a hyphen for, And shouted to his mum – “Fred Titmus!”
25 July 2009
Dave
Might it not be ‘Stevie Nicks books about kleptomania’ without the apostrophe as in ‘John Motson books about football’.
28 July 2009
Ben
I do love this site, but when something gets over-analysed to the nth degree, it starts to extract all the joy out of the thing in the first place.
It’s a clever little pun, can’t we leave it at that?
29 July 2009
Paul F
Ben – Are you suggesting pedantry isn’t fun?!
30 July 2009
Dave F.
Ben, from the header to this page:
“pop songs picked over by pedants!”
Half the purpose of this site is to “not leave it at that”!!
30 July 2009
Ben
@ Paul F, far from it (segues into 3rd track main camera)
@ Dave F, I know, I know – it just seemed this one was in danger of veering from harmless biccies related stuff into something Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons would take pleasure in.
Consider me told anyway.
30 July 2009
Fred Titmus
Surely the line is ” Stevie Nicks talks about kleptomania”
or am I just being as OCD as the rest? lol
9 May 2010
dagenham dave
I’m going with ‘Stevie nicks books about kleptomania’.
Ben – no we cant ‘leave it at that’, this is important stuff.
9 May 2010
Chris Comic Book Guy Wheelie
Yus, Messers Titmus and Dave are right. Of course, Stevie “Nicks” etc., etc. As in, Stevie (could be anyone.. called Stevie) nicks (steals, pilfers, kleptos) books about kleptomania (oh, the irony). Dagenham has a point, as do you, Ben. But, c’mon, this is haven for us.
9 May 2010
Ben
Chris, D Dave, I realise this now – All I can say in my defence is I must have been having a bad day err 8 and half months ago 😉
10 May 2010
steve_nicholls
I have no idea where to post this… so it will have to be here.
I have noticed – and it’s only taken me 25 years since buying Back In The DHSS from Chester’s Penny Lane Records – that there is a typo on the LP sleeve.
Guitar and vocals are credited to “N. Blacwell”
I haven’t got the CD so I don’t know if it’s still there.
Is it?
9 July 2010
Nigel E
I know this is a bit late but if it’s ‘Nicks’ with a small ‘n’ why does it mention Stevie Nicks on the HMHB website reference section? Or am I just being a tw*t?
9 July 2010
Attila the Brit
@ steve_nicholls
On the CD sleeve, after the track list, both Blackwells are correctly spelt.
I shall have to do the reverse and check my vinyl sleeve at me Ma’s now.
10 July 2010
Horst Radisch
Another one bites Half Man Half Biscuit’s dust.
At future gigs, will we all have to change the tense of the entire song and at the chorus find ourselves singing “Fuckin’ ‘Ell, it was Fred Titmus”?
24 March 2011
John Burscough
Gus Fraser seems to have a rather literal view of the songwriting process here (scroll down to para 9). I’d have been more inclined to believe his theory if Fred had been running a post office in Birkenhead rather than Berkhamsted.
24 March 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
@ John Burscough
Thanks John, that’s a great tribute by Gus there. Paragraph 9 is absolutely priceless and will be copied and pasted into my file of wonderful things!
Now if NB57 actually has this form of song-writing Asperger’s Syndrome whereby only literal events can be included in lyrics then he must have led an incredible life to be sure. No wonder he has so little time to actually get out there and play gigs, if he is busy poisoning love rivals, disposing of charmless associates, trellising the yard etc. etc. etc. This form of Method song-writing must be very time consuming.
24 March 2011
John Anderson
I do hope Nigel hasn’t literally dug up Logie Baird, killed Don McLean, jumped off the roof of Dignitas or murdered someone’s family because they like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
24 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
or indeed completed an epic worldwide journey in his y-fronts.
24 March 2011
John Burscough
Looking forward to Angus Fraser’s obituary of Stevie Nicks, should the old harridan ever die (as are her lawyers, no doubt).
25 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I always did enjoy Danny Baker’s fake advert for The Best Of Stevie Nicks : What The Hell Is She Singing? (“digitally remumbled”).
25 March 2011
Michael Owen
I must confess I always thought it was a reference to the romantic travails of Fleetwood Mac – “Stevie Nicks fucks about” – followed by a random non-sequitur (but somehow amusing) rhyme “kleptomania”. Goes to show what I know.
18 April 2012
MIKE IN COV
My vinyl copy of Back In The DHSS has the same typo. It also says that NB plays rhyth guitar (whic presumabl wa speciall mad fo hi).
1 July 2012
Dr Desperate
“I called round last night, my best girl to see…”
‘Oh Dear Mother’, George Formby (q v).
25 June 2015
TAYLO
We went to see Fleetwood Mac in Leeds the other night but no Stevie Nicks books on sale…..maybe they had been nicked?
7 July 2015
Jeff dReadnought
It’s taken a while to dawn on me, but as I was listening to my Ian Dury records this morning, I realised what this song reminded me of. Fuckin’ ell – it’s Spasticus Autisticus!
30 April 2016
Snout
Never mind the ten pence off Lenor, how about Lenor for just one penny?
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/deals-hunter/2018/05/pay-just-1p-for-lenor-fabric-conditioner/
Things ain’t what they used to be.
9 May 2018
Brumbiscuit
Almost 10 years ago, on the eve of the nuptials of the 3rd parasite in line to the throne, NB10 dedicated this song to Fred and to Poly Styrene, both having died in the week leading up to the Leicester gig. Tonight on Sky Arts, Poly’s daughter is appraising her mother’s life. Worth a watch. (NB10 also nailed his colours to the mast by dedicating NSD to the following day’s events.)
6 March 2021
EXXO
Thanks for the heads-up, Andy. The republican hat-trick was completed in extra time that night, when the cover of ‘Dreaming’ was amended to feature the line “I don’t want to live on Anglesey” (which is where the standard bearer would have to spend the first 3 years of her marriage)>
6 March 2021
Ferencváros Fan
Congrats on beating me to the punch, Andy! I came on here just to let everyone know about this fillum, which has only just been released, and is being shown at 9pm. Germ Free Adolescence was a bit of an anthem for me. Nothing but total respect for Poly Styrene, and all those glass ceilings she had to try and smash. Happy viewing all.
6 March 2021
hendrix-tattoo
I can’t believe a year has passed since we last had a gig.
Thanks for the heads up about the Poly Styrene doc tonight Andy.
One of my favourite Xray songs is I can’t do anything. I love the way Poly rolls her R’s in the word rat….
“Freddy tried to strangle me
with my plastic popper beads
but I hit him back
with my pet rat
yeah I hit him back
with my pet rat”
https://youtu.be/SSuH1E4yZxA
6 March 2021
EXXO
For fans of X-Ray Spex I recommend this young Manc-based band.
https://weareill.bandcamp.com/
Though last I heard their guitarist had got lockdown fatigue and wandered off into the hills (dogs, skull, quartering crow, etc).
6 March 2021
dr desperate
For those who missed (or have forgotten) how to watch programmes on Sky Arts, they’re on Freeview Channel 11. You may need to retune your TV.
6 March 2021
Brumbiscuit
147 on Freesat
6 March 2021
CARRIE ANNE
Channel 123 on Virgin Media
6 March 2021
FERENCVáROS FAN
Worth mentioning that straight after the Poly Styrene proggy (called ‘I am a Cliché’), Sky Arts are re-showing ‘White Riot’, the story of the Rock Against Racism movement. Quite an evening’s viewing, all told.
6 March 2021
Lord leominster
@Brumbiscuit. As a member of the nobility it is incumbent upon me to correct the manner in which you have addressed His Royal Highness Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus KG, KT, PC, ADC. At the time of his marriage he was, and remains, 2nd parasite in line to the throne and not 3rd parasite as you previously stated.
6 March 2021
Brumbiscuit
Yes. I realised my error not long after posting. I suppose, as a republican, getting the line of succession wrong is a badge of merit.
7 March 2021
GAVIN
I have been troubled by “Searching for the ten pence off Lenor” since I heard the album when it first came out. As written here it seems to describe what one might be doing looking through a newspaper to find a coupon that can be presented at the checkout to gain the renumeration. For it to make sense to me as it is sung then the narrator must be looking for Lenor, in the store, because he knows the price has been reduced by 10p. As such, shouldn’t it be “Searching for the ten-pence-off Lenor”?
9 May 2021
Steve carpenter
In about 1963 I met Fred Titmuss at a presentation evening in Ashford Middlesex. I was playing for Middlesex schools cricket team at the time and was asked to run the tombola. Fred disappointed me greatly by taking vastly more tickets then he had paid for and destroyed my hero worship. Consequently I was not unhappy when he lost his toes some time later!
3 August 2021
few and far between
Somewhat late to the party, but isn’t it “Stevie Nicks’ book’s about kleptomania?” As in “the subject of the book written by Stevie Nicks is kleptomania?”
14 October 2021
EXXO
“How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?” goes a joke that Nigel Blackwell has told on stage, and one that’s probably best not written down. Or analysed. But if we had to write it down, surely “Put it in the microwave till its bill withers” is preferable to “Put it in the microwave till it’s Bill Withers.”
The duck will not turn into Bill Withers. Stevie Nicks has not written a book about kleptomania. There is no reason why Paradise Lost (and a belated but huge thank you CtSO for the change in those lyrics to “Paradise lost”).
14 October 2021
ALICE van der meer
Fuckin’ ‘ell, It’s Fred’s birthday!
https://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/149804.html
24 November 2021
EXXO
See also post 10 in the Fred Titmus thread. Racist in the dressing room, racist as a coach, racist in the committee room, probably racist as a selector.
24 November 2021
ALICE van der meer
Sadly, as can be seen at the mo, a cancer that has yet to be excised from the game. No room for being smug, my county are the second one to be found with it in their locker, and I’m waiting for more…
24 November 2021