You don’t have to like football to find The Referee’s Alphabet amusing – although it’s the sort of song only a lower-league terrace-dweller would be inspired to write. Now even more than when the song was written, umpteen million football fans are screaming “Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal?” at the TV every Saturday night when Hansen and company drone on about wanting video replays for refs. Sorry, rant over. Great song. And one of only two Half Man Half Biscuit songs (I think) to mention an Ipswich Town player. Makes me swell with pride, it does. Thanks to (deep breath) Jon F, Paul, gNick and Mr Larrington.

See lyrics to The Referee’s Alphabet