This started elsewhere on the site in a place which completely offends the siteowner’s previously undiagnosed chronic OCD, and swiftly got moved here in case it became a tradition. Feel free to set any questions you feel might entertain people, but if possible, do wait until the previous question has run its course. Oh, and only set them on Fridays. If someone beats you to it, try again the next week.
EXXO
OK, apart from Margaret, name the other two moons whose names are in HMHB lyrics, and their respective planets or former planets. Not including Marquee Moon.
13 April 2018
EXXO
OK, you’re right, pedants – there are in fact FOUR other moons in HMHB lyrics, two as the names I was thinking of, and two that are just there as ordinary nouns, only one of which derives from the name of the divinity after whom that particular moon is named. One is just a homonym.
13 April 2018
BOBBY SVARC
Alfie?
13 April 2018
GOK WAN ACoLYTE
Pan is one of the moons of Saturn – there are pan fires breaking out in “trad.arr tune”.
13 April 2018
EXXO
Well played that acolyte – that was my fourth one, the homophone one, so I thought it was the most difficult! Now you need another moon of Saturn, and two even further away …
13 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Keith?
13 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
“I’ll have ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas
Ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas….
13 April 2018
EXXO
Gerrin. These boys are running rings round me and my moons of Saturn.
13 April 2018
Transit Full Of Keith
“Seen by my mates coming out of a Styx gig” (just outside Pluto)
13 April 2018
EXXO
And it’s three!
Just need one more more, and no it’s not Athena, or Olivia, or Phoebus…
13 April 2018
dr desperate
Cupid (Reflections In A Flat).
13 April 2018
EXXO
Indeed. Cupid shoots from the hip somewhere near Uranus.
A fine performance from the Biscuiteers.
Dr. Des wins the right to host next Friday’s quiz in any thread of his choice.
13 April 2018
dr desperate
I don’t suppose we can include Thebe, the moon of Jupiter that appears in the home of wine-maddened Pentheus. Or its other moon Dia, as in “Sign on you crazy…”
13 April 2018
Jeff dreadnought
Without wishing to be a drag, I’d like to try my hand at this quiz – I bet you a fiver I can think of another moon.
14 April 2018
CHARLES EXFORD
I reckon the fella shoots them before they manage to get their kecks down.
14 April 2018
dr desperate
Following on from last week’s Lunacy, and while we’re waiting for next Friday, here’s another quiz. Can you name the seven planets mentioned in songs, and in which songs they’re mentioned?
Hints: two are fictitious, one is unnamed and two appear only in BBC sessions (for different DJs). One appears in five songs, all the others in one.
As ever, Wikipedia is encouraged, but not the ‘Search the site’ box.
20 April 2018
Transit full of keith
Planet Prog Rock (Tour Jacket)
I can think of one or two more, but lunch break’s over…
20 April 2018
dr desperate
That’s a fictitious one. Six more to go…
20 April 2018
EXXO
After applauding the re-appearance of our now-traditional Friday quiz, my first thought was to wonder whether Brian May is a planet or an asteroid. He’s an asteroid. As is Freddie Mercury. Some potential confusion there for space pilots of the future, one predicts.
20 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Is Mars Ultras, You’ll Never Make The Station, One?
No mention of a planet in the song but only in the title, From a Peel session….
20 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Peace on Earth….
20 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
The song with the bloke with the pierced dick in…
20 April 2018
EXXO
Tony in the lead in the race to host next Friday’s quiz.
20 April 2018
Polo-necked Jean
Got ‘ Another planet ‘ and ‘ Earth ‘ from Broadstairs and This One’s for Now, so far
20 April 2018
Transit Full Of Keith
Venus (In Flares)
20 April 2018
Transit Full Of Keith
aha … and “they treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe” (Paintball, some session version)
20 April 2018
dr desperate
OK, that’s 2 for Jean, 3 for Keith and 3 for Hendrix so far (but we need those titles!) Only 3 more Earths to get.
20 April 2018
Transit Full Of Keith
“And he also gave us Earth-a Kitt” (God Gave us Life)?
Surely not
20 April 2018
Polo-necked Jean
” if Jesus came to Earth today…” Westminster Bridge
20 April 2018
EXXO
I’ll hoover them up with no way on Earth from ‘Squabblefest’ and where on Earth from ‘Two Chevrons’– unofficial result subject to Quizmaster confirmation – our first tie break!!
20 April 2018
dr desperate
Oooh, 3 all with 2 to go!
(You’re right, Keith, not.)
20 April 2018
EXXO
I posted simultaneously with the Quizmaster there. Over to you, Doc…
20 April 2018
dr desperate
Sorry, Exxo, posts crossed there but the top three remain the same.
Tiebreak follows…
20 April 2018
dr desperate
OK, following five Earths, the tiebreaker is:
Which song contains two of the three remaining elements (air, fire, and water)?
20 April 2018
Transit Full Of Keith
Stewards’ enquiry on Eartha Kitt. Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal.
20 April 2018
dr desperate
As in every quiz I’ve ever set, the golden rule is that your answers don’t have to be right, they only have to be the same as mine.
20 April 2018
Transit full of keith
(hours later)
A Country Practice?
As in ‘mild air of a retail tobacconist’, and ‘fireworks lighting up the Houses of Parliament’? Or as with Eartha, do part words not count?
20 April 2018
hendrix-tattoo
It’s Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas….
20 April 2018
Bad loser
Those who chose the print at home option on Ticketmaster for their Manchester Ritz tickets, can now get them.
20 April 2018
Polo-necked Jean
Trumpton Riots ?
20 April 2018
Polo-necked Jean
Or maybe, On Reaching the Wensum
20 April 2018
dr desperate
Sorry, had to step out for a moment there to go to a gig.
I declare Jean the winner, with two correct answers: fire/air in TTR and water/air in ORTW. (You could also have had IHNH(FTH) and TOCTTIHS.)
20 April 2018
dr desperate
TPCTTIHS that is.
20 April 2018
jeff dreadnought
Here’s another quiz seeing as it’s Friday – inspired by the wonderful Terminus. How quickly can you name the songs the following lines are taken from?
1. “If we’re not waiting for a kidney, we’re waiting for a bus”
2. “We stand round in bus queues and die in midweek…”
3. “Oh the results of my lifetime are a string of nil-nils – hey, Blakey, does your bus go by the dark satanic mills?”
4. “As we boarded, I immediately felt a little uneasy, as the driver didn’t seem to know the required fare for our intended destination…”
5. “I’m standing forward of the notice and it all looks decidedly grey…”
(Don’t comment below with the answers, but feel free to joyfully report that you got all 5 in 6.3 seconds or whatever – CtSO)
8 June 2018
dr Desperate
Damn, 6.4 seconds.
Here come five more swinging round that corner:
1. “I finally managed to reach the station, only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down.”
2. “And now I live life in the bus lane.”
3. “So let’s forget about the open-top bus ride.”
4. “Hydrofoil to Malmö and the last bus to your heart.”
5. “ ‘Equus On The Buses’ starring Mr Ed.”
12 June 2018
dr Desperate
An easy one for the last Friday of this month (desperate to start a new tradition).
Which is the odd one out:
a doctor called John;
a gluemaker called Harry;
a butcher called Neville?
Please write your answer on a postcard and keep it somewhere very safe.
31 August 2018
dr Desperate
Last Friday of the month again, hoorah! Since there’s nothing much happening today, why not go to JD Meatyard’s new website, set up by the inestimable Micky Bates, scroll down to the bottom of the Welcome page, and see how many of the “better men” (and women) you can name? (Band names will do, no need to identify individual members.)
Hint – they’re all namechecked in the ‘Northern Songs’ song.
Answers next week, or thereabouts.
http://www.jdmeatyard.co.uk/
30 November 2018
POP-TART MARK
Bumped into a couple of members of HMHB before the Peel Centre gig back in ’14. They asked me if JD Meatyard was on yet. I said he’d just started “that one where he lists all his heroes.”
“Ah well we’ve got plenty of time yet then,” said the band member, strolling on towards Stowmarket.
30 November 2018
BOBBY SVARC
Brilliant new JDMeatyard album out on the 14th December and a mighty fine Batchain Pullers T-Shirt..
30 November 2018
peter mcornotologist
L0ve to see that t shirt bobby svarc Rubber Dolphins with gold yawning mouths .
1 December 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Can anyone name 3 formula one drivers who’s names are Scottish town names?
25 January 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Lewis Hamilton, Stirling Moss, Johnny Dumfries, Jim Melrose
25 January 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Well done Mick on getting 2 of the 3 I had in mind.
Johnny Dumfries and Jim Melrose wasn’t in my thinking, So well played….
25 January 2019
Nigel
Ayr town centre
25 January 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Congrats Nigel that was my third.
Well played all….
25 January 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Eddie Irvine
25 January 2019
Bobby Svarc
John Watson
26 January 2019
Schoon
@Dr D what is the gluemaker answer?
27 February 2019
dr desperate
Ah, since you ask, @Schoon:
“I wonder what on earth became of Neville Davitt.”
“He’s running a butcher’s shop in Bradley.”
(…)
“Ken Carrick works in a glue factory in Todmorden.”
“What a bloody waste. A glue factory for a man who can crack a goalpost in two from a halfway line.”
“He works in same shed as Harry Treadmore.”
(Golden Gordon, Ripping Yarns)
Which leaves (Trapper) John McIntyre off M*A*S*H as the odd one out.
You can throw that postcard away now.
28 February 2019
Schoon
Thanks Doc. I think we have different ideas about what ‘easy’ means.
28 February 2019
hendrix-tattoo
‘Pop’ group which are still around today, And have been around a lot longer than the Rolling Stones?
_ _ _ /_ _ _ _ _
8 March 2019
PETER MCORNITHOLOGIST
the trogs or turds
8 March 2019
hendrix-tattoo
The answer to last weeks Friday quiz was Ben Shaws….
15 March 2019
dr desperate
Nice one, @H-T (though the combined age of The Glimmer Twins now exceeds Ben’s by 2).
15 March 2019
transit full of keith
Friday quiz question:
Extreme bus route between Llanberis and the Ogwen Lake frequented by Morrissey and Blakey?
15 March 2019
Transit full of keith
Oops, should’ve checked a map. Between Llanberis and Capel Curig, then…
15 March 2019
dr desperate
The Gwynfor Coaches S2 from Llanberis Interchange to Betws-y-Coed stops at Capel Curig, a 32-minute ride (traffic permitting) past Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr.
An airship may be in service.
16 March 2019
Transit full of keith
… nope. The answer’s been discussed on this site, not so long ago. (8, 5).
16 March 2019
dr desperate
In that case it’s Cemetery Gates, the E1 (Extremely Severe) chimney route at Dinas Cromlech in the Llanberis Pass. Cracked finally in 1951 by Don Whillans and Joe Brown, and the site of Whillans’ last major climb.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m_P_RzrQu4
Also one of the termini in ‘On The Buses’ and (slightly misspelt) one of the B-sides on The Smiths’ single ‘Ask’).
The airship takes a slightly different route.
17 March 2019
Transit full of keith
Correct, Dr. D. Lest you think my clueing is a bit shonky – the climb was itself named after a Manchester bus route by Brown (perhaps the very bus that Mozzer may have taken on a dreaded sunny day?) As was its neighbouring climb Cenotaph Corner (E1).
17 March 2019
Transit full of keith
Which reminds me: reading idly about climbing recently, I discovered there’s a route on Millstone Edge called ‘The Trumpton Anarchist’ (E5!), first climbed and named in 1988. By a Biscuit fan, maybe?
17 March 2019
transit full of keith
OK, another one for the crossword enthusiast(s?) of this site:
Sombre tune played in secret in some private woodland (10,6)
26 April 2019
dr desperate
Since we haven’t had a Friday Quiz for a while, and since I note that match 2 of this year’s Lux Familiar Cup ‘8 Out Of 205 Cats’ Round is a Twenty derby, here’s one:
Which is the only number between 20 and 29 inclusive NOT to get a mention in a song (title or lyrics)?
Pleasingly, there are twenty mentions of those numbers (cardinal or ordinal), including two where another word is used in its meaning of ‘twenty’.
9 August 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Morning Doc. Is it twenty-six? In fact, it is twenty-six.
What do I win? Two tickets to the Lux Familiar Cup final would be splendid.
9 August 2019
dr desperate
Afternoon, @Lux, and indeed it is 26. I have a brace of comps in my hand for the LFC Dressing Gown round, together with what everyone who wins one of these quizzes gets: our very best wishes.
9 August 2019
Lord leominster
I was pondering last Friday’s 20-20 quiz and I could only think of the use of the word ‘score’ and I couldn’t even place that (still can’t but it will come to me). Then I forgot about the quiz until this morning when I was listening to Stony Ground on my commute to work. Half way through Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years I heard the line ‘she’s two hundred metres away’ and ‘200’ reminded me about numbers in songs and the 20 quiz. Where on earth are all these hidden 20s? Then it came round to the chorus. Ah! As if that wasn’t bad enough the next song on the album is It Makes The Room Look Bigger which contains the lines “You can wait twenty minutes
And nothing comes along
And then all of a sudden….Oh there’s generally one at twenty-five past”. Like buses, indeed. So that’s 3 of the 20s found, only 17 to go. Best stop this ramble and check out which songs have made it into the Lux Familiar semi finals…
13 August 2019
dr desperate
That’s 3 indeed, @milord, and you know the score (hint).
14 August 2019
Lord leOminster
Thanks DD. I will put my self diagnosed OCD to good use and make it my mission to locate all 20. I was just joshing about the Lux Familiar as I’m sure you’d guessed so I had spotted 24 Hour GP, but only just before I posted. So that leaves 16 to find. I will only admit defeat if I don’t find them all this year (I’m guessing that at least some are tucked away and not obvious to find). I’ll let you know when I’ve I’ve found them all or I will ask for your help in 2020 (how appropriate).
14 August 2019
Lord leominster
I should add that I will listen out for them rather than look for them in the published lyrics, nor will I deploy the search facility on this website, hence the longer term nature of my side-project.
14 August 2019
HENDRIX-tattoo
Name three captains of England who have all played for Scunthorpe United?
23 August 2019
Alice van der meer
Two of them, I suspect, are best known as footballers, so I haven’t a clue. But t’other one is Ian Botham.
23 August 2019
hendrix-tattoo
You’re correct Alice with Botham and the other two are footballers….
23 August 2019
Lux inferior
Ray Clemence & Kevin Keegan are the obvious ones, though I’m struggling to see the HMHB connection.
23 August 2019
hendrix-tattoo
My apologies Lux their is no connection. Now I realize they should of been one Soz….
23 August 2019
Lux inferior
No apology required H-T. Gave the old grey matter a bit of a workout.
23 August 2019
hendrix-tattoo
This is a fairly easy question.
Can you name the two thieves crucified alongside Jesus?
30 August 2019
dr desperate
Not all that easy, and the sources are apocryphal. They’re known as either Titus and Dumachus or Dismas and Gestas (or Gesmas). The Narrative of Joseph of Arimathea (q v) named the penitent thief Demas.
“Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in para…are those my sandals?”
30 August 2019
hendrix-tattoo
That’s correct, Well played Doc….
31 August 2019
Lord leominster
@Dr Desperate post no. 73, 9 August 2019
**NO CLUES PLEASE**
On my first listen through the entire catalogue (everything on Spotify, 3 Peel extras on YouTube and 2 cover versions on vinyl) I have found 19 of the 20 twenties (plus 3 extra twenties that I think you will disqualify as being offside). ’27th’ was the hardest to find. But I am stuck on the second occurrence where another word is used in its meaning of ‘twenty’. I am nearly finished with my second run through of all the songs but I just want to confirm that I haven’t already found it. In decreasing likelihood of being correct I have found:
Bull (double 25)
John the Baptist knows the score
Crate of Becks (Google tells me that’s 20 or 24 bottles)
SO224350
‘Old Boney’ (I used to hear it as ‘old pony’)
None of the above? I thought not. Other than confirming my query…**NO CLUES PLEASE**…unless I’m looking in the wrong place then please tell me but other than live recordings or alternative song versions in sessions I think I’m listening to everything available. It’s probably hiding in plain sight.
Thank you.
31 August 2019
dr desperate
Blimey, @milord, that was A and B the C of D – well done indeed!
To answer your query, you’re looking in the right place and none of the above is correct.
1 September 2019
Lord leominstER
Thanks, DD. I did semi-cheat on ’27th’. I thought I heard a ‘seven’ and checked the lyrics on this site to find the ‘twenty’. I don’t think I would have found it without the written lyrics. The HMHB Lyrics Project must have been organised and resourced like Bletchley Park in order to uncover everything.
1 September 2019
EXXO
I’ve only just got the other “score” meself. Blimey, no wonder – I try to avoid “X is better than Y” when it comes to HMHB, but that is surely the most forgettable verse in the whole HMHB opus and I don’t think I’ve really noticed it for decades.
2 September 2019
lord leominster
So it’s not hiding in plain sight and I believe I know which word to look out for now. I think I will give HMHB listening a rest for a short while and come back to this. I will approach it an album at a time with headphones. I was surprised that I found so many on my first run through, which was mainly done whilst driving.
3 September 2019
Lord leominstEr
I also know from which direction to tackle the challenge.
3 September 2019
Lord leominster
Ha! Found it! Deep joy.
3 September 2019
dr desperate
Congratulations, milord! To give less dedicated souls a chance I’ll wait until 2020 before posting the full T20 list, if I remember.
4 September 2019
Lord leominster
Following on from, and only possible because of, Dr Desperate’s testing 20-20 quiz of 9 August 2019 (post 73, above) I would like to set a quiz. I expect that you will find the HMHB elements to be far too easy so I’d like to mix it up a bit by asking supplementary questions that are likely to require a little research. I hope that is in the spirit of the Friday quiz.
We now know that there are twenty mentions of numbers (cardinal and ordinal) between 20 and 29 inclusive that get a mention in a HMHB song title and/or lyrics. In addition there are three mentions of the word ‘twenty’ that do not fall into the above category. Two of these refer to years (the year 2999, for example, might be expressed as ‘twenty nine ninety nine’) and the third forms part of the description of an object. Both of the years were in the future when the songs were written but one is now in the past.
1. What are the years and what was/is predicted to happen in them?
2. Of the event that was predicted to have happened by now, has that event actually happened and, if it has, in which year did it do so?
3. Of the future predicted event I estimate the probability of it actually happening to be around one trillionth of one per cent. How is one trillionth of one per cent expressed in scientific notation?
4. Finally, what is the object and where would you be most likely to find it?
6 September 2019
dr desperate
Nice one, @milord, that’s plenty of twenty.
I’ll recuse myself from this one, but if you’re at Cambridge tonight (Flying Pig or gig) come over to receive my very best wishes. I should be highly-visible.
6 September 2019
Lord leominster
Thank you DD. I am now kicking myself for missing the opportunity of making one of my questions even more 20 based but I haven’t time now (can’t be bothered) to work out the construction of the question (I will reveal what I’m on about if anyone else can be bothered to answer the existing question).
Thanks for the offer but I won’t be at Cambridge tonight. But I do have my tickets for my first ever HMHB gig at Bilston in November and I am very excited at the prospect. Perhaps I can buy you a pint then? Have fun tonight. I won’t read the reviews as I want Bilston to be a Revelation[s] to me. Or an Epiphany, even.
6 September 2019
dr desperate
Bilston it is then.
6 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Which country has the largest number of Quakers(q.v) in the world – it has around 133,000 members?
6 September 2019
Transit full of keith
I’m going to guess somewhere not very Quaker-associated, but with a really massive population… China?
6 September 2019
EXXo
I immediately think of William Penn and mass Quaker emigration to the US and always saying ‘Quaker’ furniture when I mean ‘Shaker’ furniture, but the Shakers were originally Quakers I think, so yeah Pennsylvania Shirley?
6 September 2019
EXXO
Meanwhile the good lord’s mystery object has got me so engrossed and befuddled that I won’t even bother quibbling that I don’t really think events in either year are ‘predicted’.
6 September 2019
EXXO
LINK IS QUIZ SPOILER
After guessing I’m allowed to google. In fact only about 76,000 Quakers in the US today, making it the second quakerest nation on earth … and I would not have got the actual quakermost if i’d had thirty guesses…
This such a lovely map that when you choose to cheat on Tony’s quiz it’s your only port of call…
https://fwccamericas.org/docs/FINAL_map_123012.pdf
6 September 2019
lord leominster
Given that I have been pulled up on semantics (and having just read a definition of ‘semantics’ without really understanding it I am guessing that my use of the word ‘semantics’ in this context is also wrong), I started to doubt myself over describing the mystery thing as an ‘object’. But here is a definition: object – noun – a material thing that can be seen and touched. So I’m sticking with it.
6 September 2019
Alice van der meer
Who keeps wicket for them?
6 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Kenya….
7 September 2019
Lord leominster
I revise part 3 of my 20 based quiz question to read:
3. Of the future predicted event I estimate the probability of it actually happening to be around one trillion trillionth (or one septillionth, if you will) of one per cent. How is that number expressed in scientific notation? [Hint: rather than doing the maths take an educated guess; I’ve practically given the answer already].
With regard to part 4, the location needs to be specific which may require a bit of research [Hint: the research can be limited to this website].
I’m even giving you clues!
7 September 2019
Lord leominsteR
I will even allow research on part 2 to be limited to information published on this website. (But if you feel the urge to look further and, if necessary, to update the relevant entry, please feel free to do so.)
7 September 2019
EXXO
Blimey, 48 hours without a peep from anyone. Have we been prorogued?
But help is at hand. Unlike at the mother of all parliaments (ie the mighty Althing at Thingwall, Wirral), ancient protocol dictates that in this assembly, if you all seem to have been silenced (perhaps trapped inside your porches in dire midweek), then our own version of Question Time is automatically brought forward to its parliamentary Wednesday slot. So …
The 1973 Album Quiz
It occurred to me, after Dr. Desperate reported two separate references to 1973 albums at last week’s HMHB gig in Cambridge, that 1973 was probably the year I first became properly aware of the release of albums. Middle School mates were more musically aware than anyone in primary school and this was the year I started buying singles with my pocket money – Sweet and Slade featured highly, maybe because I thought that’s what I was supposed to buy – Cozy Powell’s Dance with the Devil was perhaps the first record I really picked out myself – and the year I started looking at those wonderful, glamorous LP covers in Woolies, though I wouldn’t be able to possess any of these expensive treasures myself until several years later.
This quiz is not about obscure music. At least five of the seven 1973 albums which are the answers to this quiz are by some of the most massive names to have ever graced the world of popular song. We all have/had friends with these albums in their collections. And the other two are amongst the most significant influences on the new waves of music that would follow decades later. If you don’t know those albums too, without googling, then you should.
I suggest that you try to guess them from the cryptic word clues in the questions before googling. Then don’t put your answers up for 5 days or so, to give everyone else a chance!
There are no real links in the albums to the works of HMHB, except particular words in song titles that form the clues, but four of the seven answers have three parts: (i) the name of the 1973 album (ii) the name of a track on it, and (iii) the name of the HMHB track(s) or song covered live by HMHB, that I refer to in the clue. However, questions 1 & 7 ask only for (i) and (ii), without any HMHB track being required, and question 5 is asking only for the name of the album.
For a bit of fun in questions 5, 6 & 7, I have taken the liberty of speculating on the musical tastes of various members of HMHB. These speculations are based on insights gleaned indirectly along the way, but may still fall wide of the mark, for which I apologise in advance if so.
1. Which fugitively-titled 1973 number-one selling album closes with a track named after the year in which HMHB would make their own recording debut?
2. Which obscurely-titled 1973 number one-selling album closes its first side with a great track that contains a noun which features in several HMHB lyrics, including two HMHB song titles?
3. Opinion was split in multiple ways by this 1973 album (only kept off the number one slot by David Bowie’s second album of that year) – an album most famous perhaps because of the later feature film of the same name. It contains in a song title a word which can mean a genre of music which was named in a cover version that HMHB performed recently.
4. Nigel Blackwell once told me that Ken Hancock had suggested replacing a rather shockingly naughty noun on an HMHB recording with the word ‘skank.’ It should be easy to sound out which word that was. But which track on David Bowie’s most iconically-illustrated number one album of 1973 features the same rude word in the present participle?
5. ‘Curly’ Carl Henry wore a t-shirt at the recent Cambridge gig referencing his favourite 1973 album by Peter Hammill. But if I had to guess ‘kicking’ Karl Benson’s favourite 1973 LP, it would be this able, forward-looking album, which features just four tracks. Nigel Blackwell has mentioned the group in a negative way when talking about names for imaginary tribute bands.
6. On the other hand, from all that we know of his musical tastes, one of Neil Crossley’s favourite 1973 albums might well be this one, an album named after the city where all the songs are set. Of the ten track titles, two of them feature the same woman’s name – a woman’s name which has featured in the titles of at least one cover (and reportedly two) that HMHB have done live.
7. As we have heard, Ken Hancock enjoys a bit of a group skank. But which incendiary 1973 album, a possible favourite of our erstwhile axeman, contains a track title which could be something that an ill-fated lover off of 90 Bisodol might say to a poor chap, in order to save them both from anguish? The track was written by a chap with a nonsense name, who would later put it on one of his own solo albums.
Like I say, don’t put up your answers till say next Monday.
But at the same time – don’t be silenced.
11 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
@Exxo, I think I know the answers of 3 out of your 7 questions so far.
No doubt someone will know all 7….
11 September 2019
paul f
Nice quiz Exxo – although I did find myself taking a wrong turn into the Topographic Oceans for a bit.
11 September 2019
Bobby Svarc
Good quiz. Got 4 of them but my brain is hurting now.
12 September 2019
transit full of keith
Only 2 out of 7 so far, but 1973 is (a bit) before my time …
12 September 2019
EXXO
Good, good, glad the quiz is getting you going, 2-3-4 out of 7, that’s where you should be with a few days of solid research left … 😉
@Paul – well done for spotting that the only 1973 album actually mentioned in HMHB lyrics isn’t one of the answers here!
Here’s some more rambling hints of trivia about the albums, mostly about their covers, which may or may not serve as clues. Each one is about a different album, but not in the question order:
*One of the seven albums had a limited-edition better lighter cover than any other album cover, ever [I would have placed [sic.] in the correct position in that sentence if it wasn’t a give-away about what I was hinting at]
*But another one of them has the most famous light-related cover, ever.
*One of the album covers has a direct link with a film that was released in the same week as the album … a film which has nothing whatsoever to do with the musicians who made the album, but which does happen to the most-often-referenced film in all the works of HMHB.
*One of the album covers features the most iconic image of its singer – arguably the most iconic image of any singer – ever.
*The poorest art-work on any of the seven album covers, in my opinion, features a bloke (who missed one photo session ‘cos he had to go to court about allegedly stealing a bus) looking at band members in a series of mirrors.
*One of the album covers features two symbols, one of which is a character that was expelled from the Russian alphabet 300 years ago, and the other a symbol from something mentioned in HMHB’s Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent
*One of the albums was followed up by its creator with an album that is often described as one “of the worst albums of all time,” “unlistenable”, etc, etc – but during one live version of Dukla Prague Away Kit a few years ago, Nigel Blackwell indicated that Neil Crossley quite liked it.
12 September 2019
EXXO
Soz that should say:
“but which does happen to be the most-often-referenced film in all the works of HMHB.”
12 September 2019
paul f
Thanks for the clues which eventually got me to the full 7, including one particular album I wasn’t familiar with. Although there were still a couple of wrong turns along the way – one caused by the fact that one of your original descriptions could have been taken to refer to two separate albums, and that 2 of your 7 cover clues could have been referencing the same album – I’ll show my workings next week.
12 September 2019
dr desperate
Exxcellent quiz! I believe I have them, though in keeping with the nature of this website would point out that one of the relevant albums failed to reach number one in Britain (but was successful in the States).
12 September 2019
Lord leominster
It’s just a Friday quiz, nobody cares.
My quiz was (a) too easy (b) too difficult (c) too dull and (d) too long. But I think the real problem was that Robert Mugabe chose to die on the day of the quiz, which was typical of the selfish man.
As if you don’t know and as if you are even remotely interested here are the answers:
“You’re gonna have to croon about the Zuiderzee
And its total reclamation by twenty-o-three”
Check the A – Z of HMHB to find out if the Zuiderzee is dry yet.
“It’s the year 2163
Chester Barnes is risen from the dead”
By my reckoning the chances of this happening are 1 x 10 to the power of minus 26. (Did you see what I did there? Linked in nicely to the answer of Dr D’s 20-20 quiz).
Finally the one question that did raise a bit of interest. “I take the 20.40 boxcar, the one that goes to Bude”. Look at A – Z on Bude to see if Bude is where you think it is.
Will try harder next time. (I only know the Bowie answer to the current quiz.)
13 September 2019
dr desperate
On the contrary, @milord, you interest me strangely. I had “the 20.40 boxcar” (but not the years) on my vigesimal list, so if you had twenty without it you must have found one that I didn’t.
I’ll bring my list to Bilston and we can compare 20s.
13 September 2019
dr desperate
And since it’s now become traditional to add supplementary questions, here’s one to go with Exxo’s ‘1973 Album Quiz’:
Of the seven albums mentioned, the names of three of the bands/bandleaders are specifically mentioned in HMHB songs, as are the first names of three of the solo artists/bandleaders.
The remaining band name appears (without its definite article) in the title of a song – which one?
(Don’t put up any answers until after Monday, obvs.)
13 September 2019
dr desperate
In fact, now I come to think about it (I didn’t before), that remaining band name appears at the beginning of a song title without its first letter.
13 September 2019
EXXO
@ my Honourable and Doctored friend – hear hear- well played to my in adding an actual Friday quiz to the bill that was rushed through this house on Wednesday – I had envisaged similar bonus questions myself.
I might also add that the album you pedanticise about was very much the number one selling album of the calendar year 1973 in these parts, as in most.
@ my Noble friend the good lord – I think I speak for many in this assembly when I assure you that we did enjoy your quiz most heartily, and mostly we got the two future years and whether the thing happened or not. We quibbled about whether they were predictions and we racked our brains but mostly failed on remembering the 20.40 line. Bravo.
13 September 2019
Transit full of keith
While on the subject of Friday quiz items which failed to get a response, there’s one of mine from April up there ^, if any crossworders have a spare five seconds. The thought of it drifting through virtual space forever unanswered is making me twitchy.
13 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Harsh times, twitchy Keith. Geraldine will put you out if your eternal misery.
13 September 2019
Lord leomInster
I wish to extend sincere and heartfelt gratitude to my right honourable friends for their support and encouragement throughout my recent and most arduous endeavours.
I’ve checked my list and checked it twice and I can confirm that it’s 21 20s if boxcar is included. 21 20s is not as pleasing as 20 20s but truth is beauty. I suspect I know which 20 is missing from the original list as I only found it by accident when I thought my list was complete, other than the second of two scores. So when I found another standard 20 I decided that the boxcar 20 didn’t fit the pattern of the others and must be a bonus 20. I am very pleased to have discovered the equivalent of the 28th known moon to be orbiting Uranus.
14 September 2019
paul f
FWIW Exxo the bit sthat caused my temporary stumping were both related to the same album, Aladdin Sane. The reason being: questions 1-3 used very mildly cryptic descriptions to allude to the titles. So for 4 I assumed the same would be true, and took “iconically illustrated” to of course refer to the other 1973 Bowie album “Pin-Ups” rather than the literal meaning which eventually got me to Aladdin Sane after I couldn’t get the specific track question. This was further complicated when your cover clues talked about “arguably the most iconic image of any singer ever” which at a pinch could refer to the spliff-sporting Marley cover for Catch A Fire. Only because your other clue was so clearly for Catch A Fire, did I feel the need to try harder to get the right answer.
16 September 2019
EXXO
Excellent. Those were precisely the sort of red herrings I aimed to misle you with.
One clue does refer to Pin-ups, of course (I even thought of further confusing you with the two covers of songs by the group it stopped from getting to number one).
So, as Delia Smith didn’t need to say on Saturday, Letsby Avenue. Does anyone who isn’t totally sure they’ve got them all want to have a go, to spin it out slightly further?
16 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
One. Band on the Run -Nineteen Eighty Five.
Three. Quadrophenia-The Punk and the Godfather-Sheena is a Punk Rocker.
Six. Berlin-Caroline….
I’m sure somebody will no the others Exxo and Thanks what a brilliant quiz this is my friend….
16 September 2019
Transit full of keith
@IdiotSaul, correct, Umberstone Covert it is.
@Exxo, 4/7 and I’ve thrown in the towel.
16 September 2019
BOBBY SVARC
I thought No.4 was ‘Time’
16 September 2019
EXXO
Yes, spot-on. To confirm the answers, then:
1. The “fugitively-titled” 1973 album by Paul McCartney’s Wings was of course Band on the Run. It did not actually reach number one until well into 1974, after its two boring singles had charted. Its final track is called Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five, the year in which HMHB started their recording career of course. The cover features several apparently random celebrities of that era, including Christopher Lee, whose film The Wicker Man (the most referenced film in HMHB) just happened to be released the day after the Wings album. If it is the most boring album in this quiz, nevertheless there is much memorable trivia to be gleaned from its recording in Lagos. Just three examples: 40% of the band refused to fly to Lagos due to fears of cholera, the studio assistants were chaps called Innocent and Monday, and the McCartneys were mugged for their lyrics and demos shortly after their arrival (not necessarily a setback to the albums quality, some might say).
2. The first side of Pink Floyd’s “obscurely-titled” The Dark Side of the Moon, the best-selling album of 1973 and the seventh-best-selling album of all time, even though it never actually made number one in any particular week in the UK, closes with the track The Great Gig in the Sky . HMHB of course have various songs mentioning “gigs”, including two titles: Secret Gig and Styx Gig (Blab Bla).
A bit of trivia that I should have worked into the quiz is that the guitarist who walked out on McCartney just before Wings flew to Lagos to record Band on the Run was the very same man whose voice can be heard on The Dark Side of the Moon at the end of the song Money, saying the words “I don’t know, I was really drunk at the time.”
3. Quadrophenia is a word invented to describe a quadruple split personality – supposedly the personalities of The Who, whose four mug-shots are “reflected” in the mirrors of a scooter in the bad artwork on the cover. The scooter is driven by a random alleged petty criminal who was recruited in the pub near the studio in Battersea, and who, in a possible bit of myth-making, missed one recording session for a court appearance regarding the taking and driving away of a Clapham omnibus. One song, from the album which became the famous 1979 film, is The Punk and the Godfather. The clue referred to HMHB giving a run-out to The Members’ song Sound of the Suburbs at the recent Peak Cavern gig.
4. I don’t know if Ken Hancock really likes a mass skank, but I was told he did suggest that word when he was a bit nonplussed by the line “mass wank for the RNLI” on Baguette Dilemna. David Bowie’s 1973 Aladdin Sane album, its cover featuring “the most iconic image of its singer – arguably the most iconic image of any singer – ever,” includes the song Time, in which “time falls wanking to the floor.” Which is nice.
5. Kark likes a bit of so-called Krautrock. Can’s (“able”) 1973 Album, the forward-looking Future Days, has the Greek character psi and a (smaller) symbol from the I Ching on its cover. Nigel Blackwell once said something very witty about the imaginary tribute band “Can’t”, in an interview or onstage, or both. But I can’t remember what.
6. Neil Crossley apparently likes a bit of Lou Reed, and on stage a while back in a live version of DPAK, Nigel indicated that the “dodgy transformer” made a noise a bit like Metal Machine Music, Lou Reed’s “unlistenable” 1975 album, which was the follow-up to his great (if somewhat misogynistic) 1973 album Berlin. The album includes Caroline Says I and Caroline Says II. As live cover vesions, HMHB have played Status Quo’s Caroline on various occasions and reportedly Matching Mole’s (ie Robert Wyatt’s) O Caroline in Matlock Bath in 2001 too – but I think I was at that gig, and I don’t remember it not being Status Quo’s song there too. Needs some confirmation.
7. “One of the seven albums had a limited-edition better lighter cover than any other album cover.” A flip-up cardboard relica of a Zippo lighter encased 3,000 collectors’ copies of Bob Marley’s “incendiary” 1973 Catch a Fire album, which included the song Stop that Train, (which is something that the rejected lover in The Coroner’s Footnote might say to the poor driver in order to save them both from a deal of anguish). Stop that Train was written by the great Peter Tosh (“nonsense name”), but unfortunately isn’t as good a tune as some other songs of the same name.
I note that those who had this album very rarely managed to keep the “hinge” of the lighter intact. I wonder if a newer reproduction has fared any better, after its Record Store Day re-issue a few years back?
16 September 2019
Flintlock
Jeez! (that’s journalese) my research tells me that the Wikipedia entry for 2 goes on a bit and that the answer to 5 is not Photos Of Ghosts by PFM. So that’s the only one I haven’t got.
I’ve never been close enough to a copy of 3 to notice the band members in the mirrors.
I always used to get that song on 7 mixed up with “Draw Your Brakes”, which would also help the poor bastard.
16 September 2019
Flintlock
Ah, too slow. I’ll read the answers now. Ta Exxo.
16 September 2019
EXXO
So I guess we can now leave Dr. Des’ supplementary questions for the rest of the week?
To repeat them – 13 September 2019 – DR DESPERATE
“And since it’s now become traditional to add supplementary questions, here’s one to go with Exxo’s ‘1973 Album Quiz’:
Of the seven albums mentioned, the names of three of the bands/bandleaders are specifically mentioned in HMHB songs, as are the first names of three of the solo artists/bandleaders.
The remaining band name appears (without its definite article) in the title of a song – which one?”
Dr. Des then added:
“In fact, now I come to think about it (I didn’t before), that remaining band name appears at the beginning of a song title without its first letter.”
16 September 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Good quiz that. nice one.
16 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
As for question four my guess was Ken wanted to replace that horrible word Slag for Skank.
And the both Bowie albums from 73 Pin Ups and Sane I do not get the connection for any of the songs that as you put it Exxo in the present particible on any of them albums.
So I am looking forward to see what the answer is for question four.
Ken also likes to roll his Cigs like Bob does on the cover of Catch a Fire.
@Keith, I would of not got the answer of your quiz question in a million years, So well played….
16 September 2019
dr desperate
Thanks Exxo, both for a superb quiz and for re-posting my supplementary question. Let’s leave it till next Monday for the answers to that one, eh?
In the meantime, how about a couple of other 1973 LPs almost certain to feature in Kicking Karl’s Kollection, one containing a song mentioned in your post 133 above and the other a live album, partly recorded 2 miles from Birkenhead?
16 September 2019
hendrix-tattoo
I was way off the mark with my answer for question four. Thanks for the answers Nigel.
And Hello John….
16 September 2019
EXXO
I’m going to add another bunch of easy-to-google supplementary questions, though (transparently) I am doing so largely as a vehicle for my own opinions.
I wonder how many you can guess without ye olde googleballs?
Forty-six years on and thanks to the wonders of medicine, a healthy number of 1973 artists are still active today.
1. A member of the band from the quiz above who released the first 1973 album I bought (finally purchased in 1977, with about 3 months’ pocket money) is someone who despite his faults, I have always had a lot of time for – not least because of his courageous support in recent years for the cause of Palestinian rights. But he did a live performance just two weeks ago in support of whom?
2. Which member of one of the groups in the quiz will publish his debut novel in November (after a bit of internet research, no doubt)?
3. Which member of one of the groups in the quiz has performed on a track to the album of a former bandmate which will come out in about 3 weeks , written by a second former bandmate, and sampling a bit of a tune by a third former bandmate? All of which ensures it will be super-successful in The States.
4. Someone who sang on a highly influential 1973 album which was not mentioned in the quiz has a current record out which is basically a simple bassline and some pathetic lyrics referring in the chorus to a stupid character from the movies. Whenever Mrs. Exford hears the first seven words of the song on 6Music (which, unfortunately is far too often in recent weeks), she changes channel within about one second, saying “no she f*cking doesn’t.”
Who is the miscreant misogynist she hates so much (his last record was even more misogynistic)?
16 September 2019
EXXO
Oh yeah.
5. Who is the only member of any of the groups in my 1973 album quiz still touring with a group of the original name, and who will celebrate his 73rd birthday in November after twenty-odd dates of their forthcoming US tour?
16 September 2019
EXXO
That should of course read “Outside of The Who and Pink Floyd, who is the only member of any of the other groups in the quiz still touring witha group of the same name…?”
16 September 2019
dr desperate
1. Julian Assange (Roger Waters).
2. Pete Townshend (The Age Of Anxiety).
3. Paul McCartney (‘Grow Old With Me’).
4. Iggy Pop (‘James Bond’).
5. Aston ‘Family Man’ Barrett (touring with The Wailers).
16 September 2019
EXXO
Well played john. The first of your two is Quo’s Hello! and the second must be one of the unofficial Zeppelin bootleg-type albums?
16 September 2019
dr desperate
Correct on the first; the second was an official release which reached the Top Ten. It included a piece written by another HMHB reference and featured on one of K’s tee shirts not that long ago.
17 September 2019
EXXO
Got me there. The band t-shirt trivia tends to go in one eye and out the other with me.
I guess it won’t be the Band-Its live at the Swinging Arm, featuring their various Paul Weller numbers?
[Incidentally, if anyone ever asks you which regular live music venue has the best view of Liverpool, it’s a trick question and the answer is the Swinging Arm in Birkenhead].
17 September 2019
dr desperate
Okay, anyone? The clues are:
1. An official LP from one of Karl’s favourite bands, released in 1973…
2. …partly recorded within 2 miles of Birkenhead…
3. …including a piece written by someone fully namechecked in an HMHB song…
4. …which appeared in full on Karl’s tee shirt at a recent gig.
I’ll give the answer (or my best wishes to any correct answerer) tomorrow.
17 September 2019
lord leominster
Going back to 1973 question 4 – Time by David Bowie on Aladdin Sane – the following is shamelessly copied and pasted from Wikipedia “The song’s best-known couplet is ‘Time – he flexes like a whore / Falls wanking to the floor’; RCA allowed it to remain in the US single edit, being unfamiliar with the meaning of the British term ‘wanking’. [I don’t recommend that you click Wiki’s link on a works computer like I just did, by the way.] However, when Bowie came to perform the song on the U.S. television special The 1980 Floor Show in August 1973, he slurred the line in such a way as to render it ‘Falls swanking to the floor.’”
A year or so ago I heard Professor Briiiiaaan Cox on Radio 6 Music say that Time was one of his favourite Bowie songs due its subject matter (time, not the other thing) but that it could not be played on the radio due to its X-rated content. Months later I heard Marc Riley play the studio version of the song on the same radio station and I wondered how the offending word would be dealt with. I’m not 100% certain now, but I think it was neatly converted into ‘swanking’ again. I’ve had a quick look to see if I can find a radio edit of it to check but I can’t find it. But it was played on the radio and the rude word was changed.
A further bit of Aladdin Sane trivia is that the original release of the album included a card insert inviting the listener to apply for membership of Bowie’s fan club. The fan club wanted to know: Name, Address, Boy/Girl, Date of Birth, Name and Address of School, Brothers & Sisters. That just feels a bit creepy to me but it was different times, I suppose. It’s a good job that we are no longer snooped upon by faceless corporate bodies masquerading as our friends.
17 September 2019
dr desperate
I can’t remember now how we got talking about 1973 albums, but the answer to my supplementary question (see post 148 above) is as follows:
1. ‘Space Ritual’ by Hawkwind, released in May 1973. The double live album’s full title was ‘The Space Ritual Alive in Liverpool and London’, as…
2. …part of it was recorded at Liverpool Stadium on Bixteth St (now demolished), 1½ miles from The Swinging Arm.
3. Included on Side 4 was the poem ‘Sonic Attack’, written by Michael Moorcock
(q v)…
4. …the full lyrics of which appeared on Karl’s tee shirt at the Devil’s Arse gig last month.
18 September 2019
EXXO
Ha, Hawkwind were very big round our way. I forgot there were gigs at the Stadium in the early 70’s and automatically i just googled ‘Liverpool Empire 1973 live album,’ hence all I got was Zeppelin bootlegs, so there you go. I even forgot that the stadium had ever been there, and not in the same street by Lime St. where the Academy is, where the boxing/wrestlig stadium always was up to the 30’s.
18 September 2019
dr desperate
Built by a consortium called ‘The Harmony Six’, including Pete Best’s granddad Johnny Sr., one of the promoters at the old Stadium.
18 September 2019
dr desperate
Forasmuch as it’s unlikely that anyone else will now weigh in on my Twenty 20s Friday quiz (see post 73 above) and that Lord Leominster has apparently found Twenty-one 20s (pleasingly, post 121)*, and that today is Friday 20th, I may as well reveal my list now:
29. “29 links of chain around my feet” (Worried Man Blues)
28. “only ever 28 away” (Excavating Rita)
27. “27 yards of dental floss” (27 Yards of Dental Floss)
27. “every 27th of June” (We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune)
27. “the 10.27 instead” (The Coroner’s Footnote)
26. NONE!
25. “There’s generally one at 25 past” (It Makes The Room Look Bigger)
25. “25 pence says you can’t” (Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal)
24. “24 Hour Garage People” (24 Hour Garage People)
23. “the wrong grave for 23 years” (Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years)
22. “the bongo-laced 22nd album” (Uffington Wassail)
22. “where it says 3 minutes 17, it’s 22” (Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools)
21. “21 years on the RC Mountain Line” (Worried Man Blues)
21. “It’s Lee’s 21st” (On The ‘Roids)
21. “watching under-21s” (Swerving The Checkatrade)
21. “the 21-man brawl” (The Referee’s Alphabet)
20. “You can wait 20 minutes” (It Makes The Room Look Bigger)
20. “within 20 minutes” (The Unfortunate Gwatkin)
20. “I take the 20.40 boxcar” (Hair Like Brian May Blues)
Score: “a score or so of ageing grans and granddads” (Sealclubbing)
Score: “the Behemoth, seven score and nine” (Evening Of Swing).
*Perhaps Milord would care to make an additional revelation.
20 September 2019
lord leominster
That’s very interesting. Dr D has two 20s on his list that are not on mine, which means that I have 3 on my list that are not on his. I feel a Friday quiz coming on…
I think Dr D is missing a 21 and two (count them, yes, two) 24s, one of which is so obvious I began to doubt that it is valid under the rules. However, as Dr D already has a 24 of the type I am thinking of, my 24 is most definitely valid. Let me know if you want any further clues.
20 September 2019
lord leominster
If you insist. The second of my additional 24s has already been the answer to a previous quiz.
20 September 2019
dr desperate
This is brilliant, it means we can ignore the ‘scores’. One of the 24s is obviously (now) “£24.99 From Argos”; thinking about the others.
20 September 2019
lord leominster
That second ‘score’ was hard fought for so I would be unwilling to sacrifice it so readily. But we are playing with your ball so you get to choose. The two 20s that I missed were “watching under 21s” (Swerving) and “within 20 minutes” (Gwatkin).
20 September 2019
lord leominster
Final clue: Lee isn’t the only person to have had a significant coming of age.
20 September 2019
Lux inferior
‘At 21 I got a divorce’
20 September 2019
dr desperate
Thanks, @Lux! Just need the other 24 now.
20 September 2019
Lux inferior
Got it!
‘Who’s just had the nod from Planet 24’
20 September 2019
dr desperate
That’s the one! (I wouldn’t mind, but that Planet Quiz was one of mine.)
20 September 2019
Lord leominster
Nice work. I wouldn’t mind betting that there is still at least one more twenty as yet unfound. If two of us have independently looked for everything and each been out by two or three that’s a hit rate of around only 90%. The possibility of another twenty is all the more tantalising when you think of how well hidden 27th June and the Sealclubbing score were. We now know of 23 twenties if we include the 2040 boxcar, which we do. If we include the two twenty dates (2003 and 2163) that gets us to 25 twenties. So if we were to find one last twenty that would make 26 in total which just happens to be the missing 20. But I’m not looking for it.
20 September 2019
Lux inFerior
Shame FC Twente don’t get a mention in ‘Ordinary to Enschede’.
20 September 2019
Lord leominster
@ Dr D – I wouldn’t mind but Gwatkin is one of my favourites.
@ Lux – you got good taste.
21 September 2019
dr desperate
@LL – my thoughts precisely on that twenty-sixth 20 (and particularly the last sentence).
Mojo readers might be interested in this month’s issue, which features Hawkwind’s ‘Space Ritual’ (the answer to my most recent quiz question) and another band (the answer to the one before, see this thread on Monday).
21 September 2019
Lord leominster
We could argue that a bull’s a double and an out.
22 September 2019
dr desperate
And so to wrap up Exxo’s 7 From ’73 Quiz. You may recall that the albums in question were:
1. ‘Band on the Run’ by Paul McCartney & Wings
2. ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’ by Pink Floyd
3. ‘Quadrophenia’ by The Who
4. ‘Aladdin Sane’ by David Bowie
5. ‘Future Days’ by Can
6. ‘Berlin’ by Lou Reed
7. ‘Catch A Fire’ by Bob Marley & The Wailers.
Of these, McCartney is specifically mentioned in ‘ITMA’, Floyd in ‘National Shite Day’ and Can in ‘Irk The Purists’.
Likewise, the name David appears in ‘David Wainwright’s Feet’, Lou (Barlow) in ‘Lark Descending’ and Bob in ‘Bob Wilson – Anchorman’. (Anyone who thinks I was going to say ‘99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd’, ‘National Shite Day’, ‘Secret Gig’ or ‘Tour Jacket with Detachable Sleeves’: I mean a different Bob.)
This leaves only The Who having so far failed to trouble the scorer here, though with one additional letter they might have appeared on VTTBOTR as ‘The Who Would Valium Take’. To my knowledge this applied only to Moon.
23 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
True Doc, but Chatteris does have prick barriers at both of the Townshends.
23 September 2019
dr desperate
Well, it’s almost time to end the show, but we’ve just got time for a round of ‘HMHB Songs With An Additional Letter’ :
‘Blue Badger Abuser’
‘Evening Of Sewing (Has Been Cancelled)’
’24 Hour Garbage People’
‘National Shiite Day’.
(Call nurse, soothe my sides.)
24 September 2019
lord leominster
Would the Ku Klu Klan just say ‘White Week Malarkey’?
24 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Tending The Wrong Gravel For 23 Years
Breaking Newts
False Grist
This One’s For Nowt.
24 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
In fact, I believe that Climie would taunt Fisher by with Tending The Wrong Gravel For 23 Years and Split Shingle With Happy Lounge Labelmates.
24 September 2019
Transit full of keith
Then there’s that searing tale of marital dissatisfaction amongst the spouses of parish administrators in the Church of England, “Soft Vergers”.
24 September 2019
lord leominster
Why can’t I just spell “Ku Klux Klan”?
(I felt the need to add an ‘x’, which in no way represents a sarcastic kiss planted on the forehead.)
24 September 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Ooh, what japes. Might give this more thought later, but these are for now:
‘I Left My Hearth In Papworth General’
‘Sour Tune’
‘Tonight Matthew, I’m Going To Bet With Jesus’
‘Ready Steady Goat’
24 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
For our Caledonian cousins:
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kilt
24 September 2019
dr desperate
My very best wishes for that one, @Saul. Looking forward to seeing you in a DPAK at a gig soon.
24 September 2019
The harbinger of nothing
CAMERA Man
On The ‘Droids
Novel On The Sly
Christian Frock Concert
Bushy Little Market Town
Mater Of The Bloke
With Goth On Our Slide
Old Sage Killed My Teenage Bride
Bard Review
It Makes The Groom Look Bigger
Purge For Offal
Shoe’s In Broadstairs
San Antonio Foam Parity
25 September 2019
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Aw, crap. I spent all afternoon hour thinking the game was to change a letter, not add one. But since I can’t let all my efforts go for naught, here’s a variation on the theme.
Blond on the Quad
Dickie Davies Exes
Reflections in a Fiat
Mathematically Sane
25 September 2019
LUX INFERIOR
@ Harbinger – I’ll take your ‘Bard Review’ and raise you a ‘Bald Review’.
‘On Breaching The Wensum’
‘For Wheat Is Chatteris…’
‘You’re Heard’
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
‘Hi Trog’
From the cathedral juice and vicar shit range, we have:
‘Lent Snot’
I think I’d rather have an
‘Urge For Off Ale’.
25 September 2019
EXXO
Loving all these. I was late to the wedding party with “Old rage killed my teenage bride”, not as good as Harb’s “sage” version, and yes as I slept on it I got “It makes the groom look bigger” too. Loving your work.
In order to make some of my mediocre ones more entertaining, I wonder how many of mine you can guess by 3 pm today?
1. One for rustic Smiths fans?
2. Two disappointing meat dishes.
3. Two or three (or as many as you like) for Hallowe’en
4. Two for my fellow fishermen
5. Easy one about a disappointing Shakespearean embellishment.
6. (Easy for some?) one to celebrate Manager’s appointment in charge of the Canaries.
7. One for philanthropists organising aversion therapy for misanthropists.
25 September 2019
EXXO
Post ’em individually as soon as you get ’em.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Of course ‘Sealclubbing’ (‘Sealclubbings’ or even ‘Seals Clubbing’ if we want a extra letter), can lead to:
’13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead SeaI’.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Oh no, my timepiece is on the blink. How will I know if I can make Exxo’s 3pm deadline? Better call the ‘Emergency Clocksmith’.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
@Exxo
1. ‘We Built This Village On A Trad Marr Tune’
25 September 2019
EXXO
Well played Saul. And the sheer appropriacy of ‘Emergency Clocksmith’ makes me extend my arbitrary deadline till let’s say 10.30pm
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Morrissey’s lyrics to that Trad Marr Tune may have been ‘Odes to Joyce’?
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
@Exxo Quiz
2. Westward Hog! – Massive Letdown’?
25 September 2019
dr desperate
Not necessarily meat dishes, but ‘Westward Pho! – Massive Letdown’ and ‘This Leaden Phall’?
25 September 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Very limited success with Exxo’s challenge here. Only:
4) Let’s Knot would fit the bill. Thought I’d got the other but did nae ken the correct spelling of the wee fishy. However, did discover that Ted regularly sheds his hair…
And to continue the disappointing food theme how about Shit Barm Bad Tattoo?
25 September 2019
EXXO
@ Saul and Lou (Phyllis) – yes those are two of mine 🙂
@ Lou – very close to my Shakespearean one there!
@ Dr. Des – tasty ones, but no, could be veggie too.
@Saul again – very good – the clue for another one I forgot was going to be something about “secret communication for Lord Haw-Haw”
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Exxo Quiz Q4
@Phyllis – I sent out ‘David Wainwright’s Fleet’ to trawl through the song titles to catch fish names, but I see that you’ve approached the subject from a different angle with your ‘Let’s Knot’.
@Exxo – surely not ‘If I Shad Possession Over Pancake Day’?
Or could it be a dead fish? I’ve heard there’s ‘Something’s Rotten In The Brack of Iceland’.
25 September 2019
EXXO
All brilliant efforts Saul 🙂
I’ll put you out of your misery with the other fish one, since it’s the only one where I’ve bent the rules a bit cheekily …
‘No-one cares about your creative chub ….’ (sorry – all the others are one letter added to song titles)
25 September 2019
dr desperate
Aha. I was beginning to wonder if it might be a Norwegian fish receptacle, but that would have required some diacritical manipulation.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Slippery as an eel Exxo!
I’ve noticed that ‘Rock And Roll Is Full Of Band Wools’. With a bit of warp and went they can be used to create ‘Joy Division Woven Gloves’.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Sorry, ‘warp and weft’. Bloody auto correct. Yes, I should proofread before hitting ‘submit.
25 September 2019
dr desperate
5. ‘Shit Arm Bard Tattoo’.
25 September 2019
dr desperate
And one assumes the Lord Haw-Haw one was ‘Code For Joyce’.
25 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Exxo Quiz Q7
‘Improve Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite’?
25 September 2019
EXXO
1. One for rustic Smiths fans?
We built this village on a trad Marr tune
2. Two disappointing meat dishes.
Westward Hog! What a Letdown
This bone’s for now
3. Two or three (or as many as you like) for Hallowe’en:
Witch goth on our side
It makes the broom look bigger
Girlfriend’s finished witch him
Etc.
4. Two for my fellow fishermen:
Let’s knot
No-one cares about your creative chub
5. Easy one about a disappointing Shakespearean embellishment.
Shit Arm, Bard Tattoo
6. (Easy for some?) one to celebrate Manager’s appointment in charge of the Canaries.
Ron reaching the Wensum
7. One for philanthropists organising aversion therapy for misanthropists.
L’enfer c’est LESS autres
25 September 2019
dr desperate
Excellent set of puzzles, @Exxo, thanks.
(The Norwegian fish receptacle was ‘Stavanger Tope’s Tub’, btw. )
26 September 2019
lord leominster
@Lux – Why Ready Steady Goat? Oh, I see, there’s an Old Tiger on the prowl.
26 September 2019
lord leominster
@TV Steve – Je Ne Regrette Rain [rules bent ever so slightly further for that one].
Which remindes me of the joke – ‘Je regret cette tattoo’ which should now, of course, now be ‘Je Regret cette tattoo merde’ [I know the French for tattoo is ‘le tatouage’ but the joke doesn’t work if we take the trouble to use the language correctly].
26 September 2019
lord leominster
Or should that be ‘Je regret cette tattoo mauvais sur mon bras merde’?
26 September 2019
Gipton Teenager
Sorry, nothing to do with the quiz , just a note to Exxo. Live and direct from Turunc – the Cats Protection Carity shop has closed.
26 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
I enjoyed the ‘Stavanger Tope’s Tub’ and the I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue game in general. Thanks Doc.
26 September 2019
Gipton Teenager
That’s “Charity”. “Beer” has been taken…
26 September 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Somewhat belatedly, I’d like to add ‘Joy Division Coven Gloves’ to the Hallowe’en themed efforts.
Oh, and ‘Used To Be In Devil Gazebo’.
26 September 2019
EXXO
Some brilliant contributions there, Lux.
Here’s a final semi-cryptic clue to a song title with one additional initial letter:
In spite of everything, you still can’t get odds higher than 5/4 for the President to get another one.
Meanwhile I have another quite different quiz which could go live tomorrow, and even an event that makes tomorrow a topical day for it … but I’m also conscious that someone new may wish to proffer some posers…
26 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
As Trump is still evading capture, still at large, he might get another ‘Term in USA’.
26 September 2019
dr desperate
Ooh, that’s good (though a six-word sequence from VTTBOTR suggests that his Vice-President would uphold the 22nd Amendment).
26 September 2019
Lux inferior
Doc – are you referring to the ‘twenty five Pence says you can’t’ line?
26 September 2019
dr desperate
Correctamundo, @Lux!
Since 1951 the 22nd Amendment to the US Constitution has prevented the President from seeking a third term, so if we did get four moron years then Trump’s presidency would expire in 2024. VP Mike Pence would undoubtedly uphold this, hence ” ’25: Pence says you can’t.”
26 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
And 2025 would also mark 15 years since the VP switched to Comfort.
26 September 2019
Lux inferior
Apologies – I couldn’t resist revisiting the Hallowe’en theme again…
‘Mod. Diff. Vdiff. Hard Severed’
I suppose ‘Tommby Walsh’s Eco House’ is stretching it a bit.
26 September 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Aw, has David Wainwright’s Fleet (nice one @Saul!) reached its quota already? I’m just getting my sea legs!
As it’s actually Friday tomorrow I’m going to weigh in with these anyway – throw ‘em over the side if you’ve had enough…
Two songs, three answers, one clue:
No longer enamoured of girlfriend’s erstwhile favourite group, this bloke’s flirtation with cross dressing is over!
And three more: one for anxious City fans, one about a mad king, and one for the Wellergram…
I like this game. A whole new HMHB universe is emerging. Running Border Squabble Fest – surely a song about the Irish backstop? And perhaps behind Friday night’ s lowered gates lurk Event Men With Steel Hearts? But probably the less said about Upon Westminster Bridget the better…
26 September 2019
Lux inferior
Anxious City fans = ‘Worried Manc Blues’?
26 September 2019
Lux inferioR
One of your ‘two songs, three answers’ could potentially be…
‘Madam Boyle Has Cast Lad Rock Aside’
26 September 2019
Lux inferior
Aha! See also: ‘Adam Boyle Has Cast Lad Frock Aside’
26 September 2019
Phyllis TRiggs
Worried Mancs – tick
Lad Frock – tick
Madam Boyle – brilliant! Missed that one! That makes four answers:)
27 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Phyllis Quiz
‘Girlfriend’s Finished With Haim’
27 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Anybody in the Wolverhampton area wondering where to keep their concubines may be interested to know that ‘Monmore Harem’s Running’.
27 September 2019
Flintlock
Phyllis – Adam Boyle Has Cast Lady Rock Aside
27 September 2019
EXXO
Outstanding stuff from Lou (and everyone). I’ve slightly lost track of which of Lou’s teasers are still to get, but it’s an excuse to continue to ho(l)ne the questions in my new quiz and publish it around lunchtime.
By the way I do hope those Worried Manc Blues will soon turn into to the Man C. of Constant Sorrow (though I’m not holding my breath).
27 September 2019
dr desperate
Two about West African praise singers, one stop-motion and the other bogus?
27 September 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Lady Rock and Haim – good work guys!
That just leaves the mad king and the Wellergram…
27 September 2019
Lux inferior
@ Doc – one of yours must be ‘False Griot’
@ Phyllis – that mad king one is driving me insane!
Another new one: correcting her lesbian tendencies
27 September 2019
EXXO
Ha yes, nice ones – False Griot & The Trumpton Griots – I did think of setting some sort of Womaddy clue for the latter in my batch.
27 September 2019
EXXO
I wonder if the king was commemorated in stone? Such building projects do, to paraphrase Paul Weller, cause constant ups and downs in ones temperament.
27 September 2019
dr desperate
‘Fix It So She Dreams Of Men’?
(Meanwhile, over on the Style Council Lyrics Project they’re struggling to get ‘My Ever Changing Mods’.)
27 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
True Doc, but at least they can Shout to the Tope in the Stavanger tub.
27 September 2019
EXXO
Did my clue help anyone get Moody Cheops, then?
Which leaves just the Wellergram? I want to get the next quiz out …
It can’t be “Ad-JAM Boyle.”
27 September 2019
EXXO
It can’t beModdy Chops either? Though there might be a few of those at a Secret A Gig (as Secret Affair gigs were doubtless called by their legions of fans)
27 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Or ‘Architecture and Morality Ted and Malice’.
27 September 2019
dr desperate
Not wishing to delay the start of The New(s) Quiz unnecessarily, but… Presley’s autobiography?
27 September 2019
EXXO
4 comments waiting approval. Could one of those put us out of our misery, or is it …
FunK Day in the Park
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HHJieWr0jw
27 September 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Moody Cheops is wonderful but way too deep! We are amused that the mad king is still at large. One more clue should flush him out!
You can have the Wellergram for nowt as its a bit shit really – I just liked the combination of words: Architecture And Morality, Ted And Malice:)
27 September 2019
EXXO
Right. Let’s wang this one out there. Your bumper, festive Friday Quiz.
A quiz where it could be a challenge to see how many you can get in a day or two without googling? Then don’t post any answers till say, Tuesday ? On Tuesday 1st October – after noon – I’ll take answers from someone who thinks they have most but not all right.
* * *
So, today marks opening of a tenth annual River Festival, on the banks of one of Mr. Nigel Blackwell’s ancestral rivers. Quilting, open-air painting, sculpture, donkey rides, belly-dancing, women’s wall, green valley project, cake stall, local writers, and many, many more family activities… The first festival began in 2010 with a Bat Walk … but they all learned valuable lessons from that, of course and today they begin instead with a Mushroom Walk in the park (meet at Bargain Booze, 4pm).
So Q1 in the Great HMHB Rivers Quiz is…. Which river, sort of mentioned in a HMHB song, (well it is and it isn’t mentioned really, like two or three in this quiz), is it that is being celebrated this weekend ?
2. Which town mentioned in a HMHB song stands on a river with no consonants?
3. Which is the most embarrassing river to be seen near, as far as HMHB are concerned? And which singer referenced in another HMHB song sang about this river’s most renowned navigator?
4. The valley of which river mentioned (in passing) by HMHB, just about 10 miles long, is a protected area in its entirety as it is described as a microcosm of all the landscapes of its entire country, from lowland coastal marsh in the south, to deciduous woodland, to pine forest and to high moorland in the north, where it rises in two branches with variations on same name?
5. Name the two rivers named in HMHB lyrics which have given their names to entire countries.
6. Which river is mentioned in the form of its eponymous county?
7. Which river, not directly mentioned in HMHB lyrics, drains an area mentioned in one HMHB song and enters the sea adjacent to a place mentioned in another?
8. Which two rivers, both mentioned in HMHB lyrics, drain which single watershed, mentioned in another HMHB song?
9. If a raindrop falls on the NW side of Lord Hereford’s Knob, it drains into the Wye, and passes within a mile of two of Hereford United’s ground. But which Football League ground [not mentioned] will it pass, in which river [not mentioned], if it falls a few inches away on the SE side of the Twmpa?
10. If a raindrop falls into the Pots of the Pennine Ridge to the west of Pen-y-Ghent it will drain into the Ribble and the Irish Sea, but a few inches to the east it will spend the largest portion of its journey to the North Sea in which river [not mentioned]? My favourite river by the way. One day I’ll take you there to land a barbel if you like.
11. Which is the only rhyming couplet in the HMHB canon that mentions two different river crossings?
12. Which river is mentioned in HMHB’s Upon Westminster Bridge
13. Which is the only venue named after a river where HMHB have gigged in the last decade? And bonus point if you can get the last venue named after a river before that (which is a sort of semi -trick question)
14. Which HMHB-mentioned river flows through ex-PM David Cameron’s old constituency, but is most famous as the name of something that gave ex-PM Theresa May much embarrassment?
15. [Cryptic] Which song sounds like the river’s frozen, or at least tough to fish? (Indeed, in a recent episode of ‘Mortimer and Whitehouse – Gone Fishing’ it did prove so)
16. Which rivers (not mentioned in lyrics) flow through Totnes? Bridgwater? And why is the “water” part of Bridgwater’s name counter-intuitive in its origins?
17. Which river (mentioned in various Blackwell lyrics) is a prog rock band in danger of falling into?
18. Which river (not mentioned) drains or floods Billing Aquadrome?
19. Which two wine-producing river valleys are sung about in which two songs?
20. The punting in Blood on the Quad happens on which river? And what else in the lyrics seems to contradict this answer?
21. One more reason why Chatteris is a bit of a shithole, compared to Ely or St. Ives, is that those towns lie on which lovely river – and it doesn’t?
22. Exford (the village) is named after a ford on the River Exe. But Charles Exford (the character invented by Nigel Blackwell) is named after another Ford – but on which river does it stand?
23. Over two hundred HMHB songs, but only two mentions (that I can recall) of people who drowned in rivers. Who are they, and in which rivers did they drown?
24. Who saves who from drowning in the river in the “wonderful film”? (think carefully about your answer as bonus points are available).
25. A recent song mentions a river in flood – but which festival did not take account of how serious those floods could be, leading to serious doubts about its future?
26. It has oft been opined that Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Showowes a great deal to a novel which is narrated on the Thames, but where much of the action happens on and around which other river?
27. If I had Possession over Pancake Day owes a great deal to a song set on which “riverside”?
28. The “bathing is safe” at the mouth of which river (not mentioned) because of a substantial bar of sand?
29. (This river is already the answer to a previous question, but it surely deserves two clues). As this river starts in a spot world famous in mountaineering history, it is perhaps surprising that its entire length has recently been made into a fairly easy cycle path.
30. Bonus Point Question for Ten Whole Bonus Points (if there is an answer at all), but the best effort will get the points.
There have of course been river questions as part of the so-called ‘banter’ at recent gigs, and that’s what really inspired the research for this quiz. As you may have noticed, I have tended to get the river names right, but which river they are tributaries of wrong. I am determined that this should never happen again. So I have been researching and have established that of the next seven HMHB gigs that I know of, six of them involve no tributaries whatsoever – two are arguably no-river gigs, four are one-river gigs, and only one – Sheffield – is in any way complicated (I won’t spoil it for you in case we are quizzed at the gig). The recent Cambridge gig could be said a “three river gig” (the river nearest the gig is the Granta, which becomes the Cam, which flows into the Great Ouse). Before that we had Castleton, a “four river gig” (the Peak Hole Water flows into the Noe, and contrary to popular belief it is not the River Terence which connects Derby to the Trent, but the River Derwent. Before that we had a “five river gig” in Homfirth (the Holme flows into the Colne which joins the Calder, then the Aire, then the Ouse). I’m counting the Humber as the Sea, of course.
The bonus points are simply for this – as far as I know, HMHB have never played a “six river gig”. Can you find any venue in the UK – and it must be a hall available for hire which could accommodate at least 200 people standing – where HMHB could feasibly do so?
Small print: your six rivers must be rivers that are actually called “River …..” or “Afon”, not brook, beck, ghyll, etc, and cannot include estuaries, firths, havens, harbours, etc with separate names (Humber, Wash, Solent, etc), as these count as the sea. The venue may be a church hall (whatever the weather), but not an actual currently-used place of worship.
27 September 2019
Lux inferior
Got it…possibly.
‘Architecture And Morality Ted And Malice’? Surely?!
27 September 2019
LuX inferior
Ah, bollocks. Too late. A no rosette situation for me.
27 September 2019
lord leominster
I have absolutely no idea what is going on any more. Bemused but mildly amused.
27 September 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Well done @Saul and @Lux. Website appeared to suffer a severe internal error at a critical moment there.
27 September 2019
BOBBY SVARC
5, Billy
27 September 2019
EXXO
If we can’t find a six-river gig venue (or “Afon” in Wales, or “Water of ….” in Scotland) I will take one with five rivers plus one brook, beck, stream, dyke, ghyll, burn, etc.
27 September 2019
dr desperate
With that last clue, the mad king must be ‘One Passing Lilac Urine’ (ref George III’s porphyria).
And (Reg) Presley’s autobiography was ‘I, Trogg’.
28 September 2019
Phyllis triggs
Bingo!
29 September 2019
Gipton Teenager
Lord L- You are not alone.
30 September 2019
EXXo
You’re watching yourself, but you’re too unfair.
30 September 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Heart as Big as Liverpool
30 September 2019
dr desperate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RWN_Dkh9ew
30 September 2019
lord leominster
You got my head all tangled up
30 September 2019
transit full of keith
Without any help from Google I have … three and a half answers in the River quiz. Any advance on that? (I’m also sure I know several others, but not necessarily in the right order).
1 October 2019
EXXO
That’s not too bad Keith, considering how much time it must be taking you to prepare the poetics-themed HMHB Friday Quiz to (almost) coincide with this week’s National Poetry Day!
So I propose that some jolly punter who reckons they may have about 15 of the answers, but is maybe not sure about a couple of them, would be an ideal candidate to cast us off down the endless stream of knowledge. Whenever you’re ready, in fact …
I should just say that at least five rivers can feature in one way or another in more than one answer. Only one river appears in three different answers.
Question 7 probably has more then one possible answer, given the vagueness of “adjacent to” and bonus points may be given for anyone who can justify two different answers.
1 October 2019
lord leominster
I think I know two or three of the rivers answers but my knowledge of rivers appears to be as shallow as the Teme in August. For number 9 (Twmpa) I thought I knew the river, if not the football ground, but the clue says the river is “[not mentioned]”, whereas the river I am thinking of features in the Twmpa song. I won’t be contending for the win so I’m going to get a map out and have a look.
1 October 2019
lord leominster
Having studied a map the raindrop would have to miraculously cross the Wye in order to reach the river I was thinking of, so that makes me a Friday Quiz knobhead. Good luck, everyone.
1 October 2019
lord leominster
(It wouldn’t be so bad but I actually live in the general area.)
1 October 2019
EXXo
Anyone prepared to start the bidding with 10 or more answers?
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
I’ve got 8 I think that I’m reasonably confident on, 3 where I have half of a two-part answer and another couple of maybes…
1 October 2019
EXXO
Sounds good – then let the flood waters of your knowledge burst the dam of modesty!
1 October 2019
transit full of keith
Pondering further, I think I have seven. But sounds like Chimp gets first go.
1 October 2019
I, pRoblem chimp
Is it ok to post the ones I think I have then?
If so, it might have to be a little later as I’ve got a lesson to teach in a minute…
1 October 2019
EXXo
Whenever you’re ready – let ’em flow – but go on Keith, you can cast off first if you’ve got time.
1 October 2019
dr desperate
Without Googling, I have eleven answers, some of them partial:
3. Styx. (Dylan sang about various characters from Greek mythology, but I’d have to Google which one crossed the Styx with Charon.)
5. Jordan
Niger (no, that was Nigel).
6. (Bath in) Avon.
12. (Bangor on) Dee.
15. Ure Hard
19. Rhone (Uffington Wassail)
Garonne (Evil Gazebo).
20. Cam (they don’t have quads in Cambridge).
24. George saves his brother from drowning as a child, and Clarence as an angel.
25. I was at that Festival Number 6 that was flooded by a Glaslyn in spate.
26. Congo (Heart of Darkness).
27. Mississippi Delta.
1 October 2019
dr desperate
(Sorry for shoving in there, I was typing during the last three posts.)
1 October 2019
EXXO
All excellent answers, John. Bravo!
For number 3, Dylan is a greaty answer, but not the singer I had in mind. Googling now, I can see possibilities of Charon being alluded to in two Dylan songs, but he is explicitly sung about – though not named – in a fare-dodging anthem by one of the impurest of the HMHB-referenced impurists.
For number 24, all the right notes … but not necessarily in the right order for the bonus points.
Otherwise a cracking start. And I bet Chimp & Keith can get us up to 20 points between them …
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
I had Jordan for half of 5, 12, Rhône for half of 19, 20 (though I did have an alternative answer in case it was set in Oxford), 25 and 26 of DD’s answers
Ones I am confident on:
14. Windrush (Twydale)
17. Styx
18. Nene (the river next to which I live)
21. Great Ouse (the river next to which I used to live)
23. Nelson Burt in the Mersey (Gwatkin)
Ones I’m not confident about:
2. The river is the Ae – the town will probably be one from Adam Boyle, but I have no idea which – I’m going Gatehouse of Fleet as it’s the coolest name…
9. Usk, Newport County
1 October 2019
transit full of keith
19, 20 and 26, I had the same as Dr.D.
5. The Congo is one of them (and 2 countries are named after it).
6. The Yore, in Yorkshire.
10. Based on where Exxo lives and presumably does his fishing, I think this is the Wharfe, as in Wharfedale, the speakers.
12. Trick question. Not the Thames as you might think but the Dee (as in Bangor-on-Dee).
14. The Windrush.
21. Great Ouse
22. This is the Ford Estate in Birkenhead. Either the Mersey or the Dee then?
1 October 2019
transit full of keith
(And when I say Congo is mentioned in the lyrics, I mean Congolesi Unsworth).
1 October 2019
EXXO
So Dr. has bee awarded an amazing 16 arbitrary points and IPC would have got an impressive 13.
Between them they have amassed 22 different points.
Neither of them has the second country for Q.5
On question two, IPC finds himself very close to two points each for two diferent questions, but does not currently have any points for either as nae, there are nae towns on the Ae!
1 October 2019
EXXO
… and I think Keith would have scored an arbitrary but very creditable 12 points there … bringing the total different points to 26.
I have awarded two bonus points for Congo, as I always intended to do, but it still not the official second answer to Q5.
Well done on Wharfe, and on the Ford Estate (but no, not the Dee or Mersey – still another point going there).
And on Q.6, is “Yore” mentioned? Avon was my answer.
1 October 2019
dr desperate
3. Fare-dodging the Ferryman, so it’s Chris De Burgh.
1 October 2019
EXXO
Yes – another point for Dr. D
So we’re maybe just over half-way, somewhere around the 27-point mark.
Questions in my mind that still lurk
1,2,4,7,11,13,16,17,28,29 & 30
And answer me the remaining parts of these and you won’t win a cruise:
5,22 &23
Oh and I forgot to say well dome with the obligatory football ground question to IPC.
1 October 2019
EXXO
“Well dome” as in “Soccerdome”? Some terrible typoes. Dark here today.
1 October 2019
EXXO
Q. 8 still unanswered too.
1 October 2019
Transit full of keith
Arguably the “Yore” gets a mention in the songs, on account of its noteworthy strumpets.
But of course Yorkshire is named after the city of Jorvik, not the river.
1 October 2019
THE BASTARD IN THE HAT
Q2: Well, it took some dedicated Googling (Eye, Yeo, …) to find that Cartmel (Mathematically Safe) is on the Eea. But now I’m going to muddy the waters by mentioning Hay-on-Wye (Nove on the Sly)… no Welsh consonants there? And that brings me to the Wey, which brings us near Chesil Beach, but I’m not sure whether that’s related to Q28.
1 October 2019
transit full of keith
7) The River Welland drains a bit of the Fens (dull holiday destination in Alehouse Futsal) and enters the sea a few miles from the village of Frampton (who comes alive in ‘Third Track Main Camera’, etc.) I used a map for that.
1 October 2019
EXXO
@ Keith – almost a bonus point for your first sentence, but definitely a “QI” point for your second.
@ El Bastardo Sombrado – 2 well-earned points there. And a bonus point if you’re saying that somehow “Gwy” in Welsh has no consonants, if that is the case, but otherwise not.
Alas you’re cold on Q.28 – and I’m surprised it’s not been one of the most straightforward, as it quotes a song so directly and all you need then is the relevant river (not mentioned in the song).
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
T’other half of Q5 is Senegal (Bob Wilson)…
1 October 2019
EXXO
@ Keith (latest answer). We’re definitely in the kind of bonus point territory I was envsaging there. On my map Frampton Marsh is very much adjacent. Frampton West End (the famous “Theatreland of The Fens”) less so.
1 October 2019
I, pRoblem chimp
Scratch that, Senegal is the answer to Q6 (mentioned as the country not the river)! So half of Q5 still to get…
1 October 2019
EXXO
@ IPC – yes!! Another point, taking us well into the thirties! The 675-mile Senegal River was undoubtedly explored in the quest for understanding of how inappropriate TV presenters got the gig, and in the process somehow gave its name to an entire country.
1 October 2019
EXXo
You were right in the first place Senegal is right for Q5, while Q6 – the county of Avon – has already been got. I was curious though, as to whether Q5 would cause any mis-reading of the word “county” in Q6 at any point, and you have done me proud.
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
My bad – I feel like a right K-N-O-…
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Afon Mawddach for Q28 – had the lyric reference but needed to Google the river I’m afraid… Glad I didn’t take a punt on the Bar now – it seemed too obvious given the mention of a sand bar in the question…
1 October 2019
IDIOT SAUL
@Bastard @Keith
278 & 379 above:
Ooh Bastard I love your Wey.
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Q27 has been annoying me for a while – nearly went for Mississippi on the basis of the artist in question’s epithet, but working on the basis that the ‘quotation marks’ (which hadn’t really initially registered) indicate the answer is not an actual river, it must simply be a ‘travelling’ riverside…
1 October 2019
Lord leominster
For Q8 I’m going to hazard a guess at the Wye and Severn (to recycle my incorrect answer to Q9) but, if I’m correct, I don’t know the name of the watershed.
1 October 2019
Exxo
@IPC Johnson’s song is indeed set firmly in the sleazy joints of Friar’s Point on the Mississipi (for which Dr. D has already secured the point), where his lemon is squeezed to the point of exhaustion by his “rider”. Which is nice. This, and Johnson’s other lyrics to ‘If I Had Possession over Judgement Day’ gave inspiration to our own dear “biscuit roller” for the genius “pancake day” image. Lemon-squeezy but not so easy-peasy.
@LL one of the Q.8 rivers is the Severn, correct, one point. The Wye will not be troubling the scorers in this quiz.
1 October 2019
Lord leominster
I’m that case I’ll take a punt on the Clwydian Hills but then I don’t know the other river.
1 October 2019
Lord leominsteR
No pun[t] intended.
1 October 2019
EXXO
You’re in the right area … but not for Q.8
1 October 2019
transit full of keith
Bonus point for finding a musical river crossing in New York State hidden cunningly in the songbook. (I don’t think it’s one of the missing answers).
1 October 2019
EXXO
It isn’t going to clinch any points in my quiz, no.
1 October 2019
Lord leominsTer
In post 265 above, Dr D has given the correct answers to Q3 (embarrassing river) and Q15 (sounds frozen). As an alternative answer to both I offer the Isis which, in Oxford, is the local name for the Thames. (I don’t believe that Isis is an answer to a remaining question, not even the bonus number-of-rivers question, as Isis really is just Thames by another name.)
1 October 2019
dr desperate
13. The last river venue was the Theatre Severn, Shrewsbury in 2010. Before that was The Brook, Southampton in 1999.
16. Dart, Parrett. The ‘water’ in Bridgwater refers to Walter of Douai (can you tell I’m Googling now?), though I’m not sure if that’s counter-intuitive enough.
22. The Ford (now Beechwood) Estate lies below the junction of the Fender and the Birket.
23. J(eff) Buckley drowned in the Wolf River, Memphis. Not to be confused with Viginia Woolf (who also drowned, non-accidentally, in the Ouse).
And I assume that New York State river crossing would be the Hudson Ford.
1 October 2019
dr desperate
17. Dutch prog rock veterans Alquin were in danger of falling out of their pleasure craft at Chester, in “fooling around on R. Dee” (anag, 6).
1 October 2019
Transit full of keith
Hudson Ford is correct, Dr.D, for that all-important no-points bonus.
1 October 2019
Transit full of keith
23) Hopefully the Hardest Man on the Estate didn’t follow through on the threat.
1 October 2019
EXXO
@Lord Leo: three bonus points for the second best homophone in the quiz so far.
@Dr. D – Quality quizzing! TEN more points, give or take. Googling has been permissable since Saturday eveining according to the Queensferry (on Dee) Rules, so nothing under-the-belt to be embarrassed about there.
Q.22 The Ford’s crystal (meth) springs drain into the Fender, I would say, at some distance from its confluence with the mayflies of the chalky Birket, but you may have the point.
Q.17. Yes. The “Doreen/on R. Dee” anagram is in my opinion just the tip of the iceberg of much that is obscure and unfathomable in early-to-mid 90s Biscuit.
Q.13 Yes, the Theatre Severn, well played. But you haven’t got the trick question … which was a lot more recently than 1999.
Q. 24 I had more than a suspicion – let’s call it a folk memory – that there were in fact , three river drownees in HMHB, and we now have them all. You may bask in bonus points with your hi-vis life jacket on, and pull down on your toggle to your heart’s content.
And congrats on your clinching Hudson Ford cartography.
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
I’ve lost track of what’s still unanswered, but having embarrassed myself already with misreading questions and giving answers that have already been posted, I’m throwing caution to the wind.
Q1. https://www.gwyl-ogwen.org/
1 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Q13 bonus point – The Cluny, Newcastle 7th Aug 2003? There is a Clunie Water in Scotland, which is a tributary of (another) River Dee…
2 October 2019
EXXO
Bingo! (as they say in Welsh)
https://www.gwyl-ogwen.org/site/assets/files/1/a6_english_ogwen_river_fest_2019.pdf
An annual event in Bethesda, where Mr. B’s paternal line is etched into the local slate, but at the same time … yarnbombing, bat walks, fungus forays … I’d be surprised if he’s been seriously tempted to attend.
2 October 2019
EXXO
Must have been very distracted by a job application form last night – hence my weird ghost memory of a Virginia Woolf reference in HMHB, which I now realise was not what Dr. D was suggesting. It’s the Who’s Afraid of…?thing I suppose, and I think I have mentioned her drowning on here before, perhaps in the We Built This Village thread. There are only two river drownees in HMHB: Jeff Buckley and Nelson Burt (Mersey estuary – I think it does say “River Mersey” on his gravestone).
Here are the answers so far in bold. The bold question marks ? ? ? ? ? ? ? indicate the seven or eight questions that in corners of some of your minds still lurk, I hope.
So Q1 in the Great HMHB rivers quiz is…. Which river is it that is being celebrated this weekend ?
https://www.gwyl-ogwen.org/site/assets/files/1/a6_english_ogwen_river_fest_2019.pdf
The festival takes place in Bethesda, an important town in Blackwell genealogy, though one suspects the twittering classes are in abundance these days.
2. Which town mentioned in a HMHB song stands on a river with no consonants?
The River Eea flows through Cartmel.
3. Which is the most embarrassing river to be seen near, as far as HMHB are concerned? Which singer referenced in another HMHB song sang about this river’s most renowned navigator?
The Styx (gig) of course – and it was Chris de Burgh who urged us to dodge Charon’s fare on our final journey to Hades.
4. The valley of which river mentioned by HMHB, just about 10 miles long, is a protected area in its entirety as it is described as a microcosm of all the landscapes of its entire country, from lowland coastal marsh to deciduous woodland, to pine forest and to high moorland where it rises in two branches
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
5. There are two rivers named in HMHB lyrics which have given their names to entire countries.
The Jordan (in Multitude) and the Senegal (in Bob Wilson). I might accepted Congo(lese Unsworth in Gwatkin).
6. Which river is mentioned in the form of its eponymous county?
The spa waters of Bath in Avon
7. Which river, not directly mentioned in HMHB lyrics, drains an area mentioned in one HMHB song and enters the sea adjacent to a place mentioned in another?
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
8. Which two rivers, both mentioned in HMHB lyrics, drain which single watershed, mentioned in another HMHB song?
The Severn and the ? ? ? ? ? ? ? drain the ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
9. If a raindrop falls on the NW side of Lord Hereford’s Knob, it drains into the Wye, and passes within a mile of two of Hereford United’s ground. But which Football League ground [not mntioned] will it pass, in which river [not mentioned], if it falls a few inches away on the SE side of the Twmpa?
Past Rodney Parade, Newport County’s ground, in the River Usk.
10. If a raindrop falls on the Pots of the Pennine Ridge to the west of Pen-y-Ghent it will drain into the Ribble and the Irish Sea, but a few inches to the east it will spend the largest portion of its journey to the North Sea in which river [not mentioned]?
The River Wharfe (before that Pen-y-Ghent Ghyll, then the River Skirfare, then the Wharfe, then the Ouse).
11. Which is the only rhyming couplet in the HMHB canon that mentions two different river crossings ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
12. Which river is mentioned in HMHB’s Upon Westminster Bridge
Bangor-on-Dee
13. Which is the only venue named after a river where HMHB have played a gig in the last decade?
Theatre ,Severn, Shrewsbury, 2013. Before that it was ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
14. Which HMHB river flows through David Cameron’s old constituency, but is most famous as the name of something which caused Theresa May considerable embarrassment?
The Windrush – as in SS Empire Windrush
15. [Cryptic] Which song sounds like the river’s frozen, or at least tough to fish? (Indeed, in a recent episode of ‘Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing’ it did prove so)
Ure Hard
16. Which rivers (not mentioned in lyrics) flow through Totnes? Bridgwater? Why is the “water” part of Bridgwater’s name counter intuitive?
The Dart; the Parrett; the “water” part of the name probably comes from the “Walter” family. It probably means “Walter’s quay” rather than “Bridge over the water”
17. Which river (mentioned variously) is a prog rock band in danger of falling into?
“I was faintly amused to see Dutch veterans Alquin, fooling around on pleasure craft at Chester”
Doreen
So the River Dee at Chester.
18. Which river (not mentioned) drains or floods Billing Aquadrome (in Epiphany)?
The Nene
19. Which two wine-producing rivers are sung about in which two songs?
The Garonne in Evil Gazebo and the Rhône in Uffington Wassail
20. The punting in “Blood on the Quad” happens on which river? And what else in the lyrics seems to contradict this answer?
The Backs are on the Cam – but of course Cambridge has “courts”, rather than Oxford’s “quads.”
21. One more reason why Chatteris is a bit of a shithole compared to Ely or St. Ives is that those towns lie on which lovely river – and it doesn’t?
The Great Ouse. A great river.
22. Exford the village is named after a ford on the River Exe. But Charles Exford is named after another Ford – on which river does it stand?
The once-notorious Ford Estate, Birkenhead, has been renamed The Beechwood, but is still drained by the elegant, dignified glides of the River Fender, which relays the crystal waters of the Prenton Brook towards the broad and noble River Birket, and thence to carress the rich sea-life of Birkenhead docks.
23. Over two hundred HMHB songs, but only two mentions of people who drowned in rivers. Who are they, and in which rivers?
J. Buckley in the Mississippi Lilac Urine and Nelson Burt in the Mersey in Gwatkin
24. Who saves who from drowning in the river in the “wonderful film”?
George has saved his brother Harry before the action begins, but you can have that one. The bonus points were only available for realising Clarence’s immortality in some form in your answer:
George jumps in to save Clarence, but doesn’t know of course that Clarence can’t really die, so Clarence in effect saves George from suicuide by drowning (or more likely death by hypothermia). What is odd, though, is that the river does not seem to have any current despite all the exfra precipitation.
25. A recent song mentions a river in flood – but which festival did not take account of how serious those floods could be, leading to serious doubts about its future?
The Glaslyn in spate (Emergency Locksmith) flooded the car parks for Festival Number 6 in 2016 and all the subsequent claims and alternative parking difficulties constitute one reason why that festival has been discontinued, perhaps for ever.
26. It has oft been opined that Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Showowes a great deal to a novel which is narrated on the Thames, but where much of the action happens on which river?
Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, set along the Congo.
27. If I had Possession over Pancake Day owes a great deal to a song set on which “riverside”?
Robert Johnson’s Travellin’ Riverside Blues, set in dodgy joints on the banks of the Mississippi
28. The “bathing is safe” at the mouth of which river (not mentioned) because of a substantial bar of sand?
Barmouth Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshiteis named after a bar of sand at the mouth of the Mawddach
29. (This river is already the answer to a previous question, but it surely deserves two clues). As this river starts in a spot world famous in mountaineering history, it is perhaps surprising that its entire length has recently been made into a fairly easy cycle path.
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
And of course the ultimate challenge to trace our musical ispiration back unto the hills through six degrees of separation … Q.30. See above.
2 October 2019
EXXO
Not 2013, but 2010 of course that Theatre severn gig, as Dr. D righly said.
And yes, Keith earned some well-deserved bonus points for his excellent Fens-Frampton-Welland suggestion for Q7, but that is not the original and best answer.
2 October 2019
transit full of keith
29) I’d like to say the Dee here as it rises in Snowdonia, cradle of UK climbing and playground of Kirkus, Edwards, Brown, Whillans, Mallory, Dawes, etc. And obviously it is the Biscuitiest river of all and ‘surely deserving’ of more than one answer. But I’m sceptical about a cycle path along the entire length. The upper reaches go under a different Welsh name though …
2 October 2019
EXXO
Good effort, but it should be noted that as ‘Dee’ has already been the answer to Q 12 and Q17, and even though 12+17=29, it does not quite fulfil the spec in Q 29 of “the answer to _a_ previous question.” You’re close though. Carry on around similar expanses of water and similar climbs.
2 October 2019
dr desperate
8. Bit of a long shot, but the Don (as in Monty) and the Eden (as in Garden of) both drain the Pennine Ridge, in opposite directions.
30. The invaluable ‘Book of Mormon Resources’ website describes the work in the 1950s of the geoscientist Arthur Newell Strahler in classifying rivers by stream order, giving them ‘Strahler numbers’ to indicate increasing system complexity (the higher the number, the more confluences in the upstream network). In this system the Mississippi is classified by limnologists as a 10th-order stream, the Rhone 8th-order and the Hudson 7th-. The only 6th-order river in the UK (to which, by the “own bog, own beck” rule we must limit ourselves) is the Severn.
Another useful resource is the textbook ‘Hydrology in Practice’, written by one E. Shaw.
2 October 2019
EXXO
Well that’s as may be, but there is as far as I can see in this entire nation of ours ONE VENUE and one venue alone which satisfies my stated criteria for Q. 30, and it is nowhere near the Severn river system. I hope I am wrong and someone can find one up the hills elsewhere, but the venue I am thinking of is one where I have bought members of this website a pint! (and not many venues can say that I can tell you)
2 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Was my bonus point attempt for Q13 not seen or incorrect?
2 October 2019
EXXO
An ingenious attempt certainly and you may have “QI points” for facilitating the discovery that the Cluny whisky that used to be bottled there, and which gave that wonderful venue its name, may have been named after that Scottish river (though the distiller was based in Edinburgh and there is another Loch & village of that name in Perthshire so )…. but we are looking for a more recent gig …
Cluny Whisky is still sold as a brand in the Americas.
Meanwhile @ Dr. D I should point out that my boggy watershed is drained ONLY by these two river systems.
2 October 2019
lord leominster
Q8 – Cambrian Mountains must be too vague. There must be a more specific song reference. So we could be back to the Dee, via Tryweryn from Llyn Celyn – I’m clutching at straws based on “Cofiwch Dryweryn”. (Much map reading and Googling involved.)
2 October 2019
lord leominster
Have just seen your comment “@ Dr. D I should point out that my boggy watershed is drained ONLY by these two river systems.” The source of the Severn and Wye are within a stone’s throw of each other. Oh, the Wye flows into the Severn in the Bristol Channel, so that makes it one river system. Final guess: Severn and Dovey fed from Pen Pumlumon.
2 October 2019
transit full of keith
29) The Ogwen then. Seems the Ogwen cycle trail goes from the Idwal Cottage YHA (where Colin Kirkus wrote ‘Let’s Go Climbing!’) to the sea near Bangor. I suppose I should have got that one, as I was holed up at Idwal in the snow this April.
Is that also the answer to no 4?
2 October 2019
transit full of keith
(Ignore that last question. It can’t be, as it flows south to north)
2 October 2019
transit full of keith
Of course. The Ogwen is also no 7. Drains the Ogwen Lake (Restless Legs) into the sea near Bangor (Upon Westminster Bridge)
2 October 2019
EXXO
My Liege Lord of the Lower Lugg is in the right general area.
2 October 2019
EXXO
@ LL blimey I must have fallen asleep there. I was referring to comment 314 (warm to slightly hot), not 315 (cold)
Yes Keith, you get the point for Q.29, the Afon Ogwen, which had previously answered Q1. But has nowt to do with Q7, until I muddied its waters by saying that Q 29 relates to an “area” which you could take your 5-mile hike around, so now you think that’s the “area” in Q7. Which it isn’t. But have some bonus points anway.
And a fanfare.
Did we give enough fanfare to IPC for solving Q1 last night by the way? Probably not. More Fanfare for the Modern Chimp! Remarkably hard to google Q1, which is why I chose it.
2 October 2019
EXXO
OK to complete the quiz we need answers to just Q4, 7, most of 8, 11 and half of 13, with generous bonuses still on offer for any reasonable stabs at 30.
You need to derive the answers from the following, but not in this order: a line from CSI, a broadcast, areas of land from Achtung Bono and Urge for Offal, a resort from No-one Cares … and a part of a town from Urge for Offal. And some more googling.
3 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Is Q4 ‘The Bain of Constance’…Sorry I’ve not checked your other questions
3 October 2019
EXXO
Oh that is a great shout! I see what you’ve done there – England’s shortest river, the mighty Bain. Almost as far out as Ronny Radford, but worth a pop and you’ve made me wish I’d done the Bain/Bane thing for a question.
Further clue: more than one answer is still to be found in Wales, more than one answer, or part answer, in Scotland and more than one in England.
3 October 2019
Transit full of keith
4) Water of Fleet
3 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Q7 – The Clwyd enters the sea adjacent to Kinmel Bay (The Announcement) and presumably drains the Clwydian Hills (Depressed Beyond Tablets)?
3 October 2019
EXXo
You wait hours for an answer and then two come along at once.
Points all over the place. Well played.
3 October 2019
I, problem chimp
The second part of Q13 isn’t the CAMbridge Junction, the very gig before the Theatre Severn is it? Given the mention of a trick question?
3 October 2019
EXXO
That would be quite cunning, almost pointsworthy, if it wasn’t for the fact that it isn’t, because:
(i) “venues” in this case can’t mean the names of cities, as this would not make sense because they’ve played Cambridge twice more in the decade since then, as well as 5 gigs in a town named after the River Holme, 4 or 5 in a city named after the River Sheaf, one in a town named after the Stour and one in a city named after the Exe, etc,
(ii) Cambridge isn’t named after the River Cam anyway.
3 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Didn’t think it was, but was flicking through gigography on setlist.fm and it listed the venue as such… Worth a punt, though… On the Backs, of course…
3 October 2019
Transit full of keith
11) “I went across the river and I lay down to sleep
I went across the river and I lay down to sleep”
(Worried Man Blues)
The crossing in the first line is a different crossing to the one in the second line, definitely.
3 October 2019
EXXO
I feel your pain as the barrel is scraped there Keith, but I am both saddened and gladdened that nobody’s got Q.11 yet.
Saddened because it means the bard’s choice of imagery in the couplet is under-appreciated, and probably not fully understood. To appreciate it you need to have at least googled up pictures of the two places in question, and be aware of the contrast between them and the frustrations involved in being at one rather than the other.
Gladdened because I now have the opportunity to draw attention to this. It’s one of the loveliest geographical contrast in HMHB.
3 October 2019
Lord leominster
Loggerheads to Hope?
3 October 2019
EXXO
I like it. Both have river crossings on the Afon Alun! If only they were in a rhyming couplet, and those river crossings were referred to!
You were warm in comment 314. Try back down that way for the final welsh answer (to Question 8).
3 October 2019
Lord leominster
I notice that ancient pack-horse bridges have been avoided.
3 October 2019
dr desperate
I suppose that to get from Rothersthorpe North to South one would have to cross a watercourse twice. Not a river though, the Northampton Arm of the Grand Union Canal.
3 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Q8. Is the watershed in the Berwyn mountains/range, mentioned as being marshy in Baguette Dilemma…? Looks about right for separating the Severn and Dee basins…
3 October 2019
dr desperate
Q11. Alternatively, there’s a rhyming couplet which does suggest cause and effect for two separate river crossings. One’s explicitly mentioned (natatory, unwisely encumbered by an item of personal protection and a work of reference), the other merely probable (though I prefer the alternate scenario of a daring seaborne escape along the east coast, possibly storm-tost).
Either way, it’s the Stour.
4 October 2019
lord leominster
There were two ‘hopes’ in my previous answer. One was Hope and the other was no hope.
4 October 2019
EXXO
Yes indeed IPC, answer 8 is the marshy Berwyn massif, plateau or range, drained as you mention by the Severn and the Dee. Some challenging bike routes up there, one notes.
So the only proper question left is this …
11. Which is the only rhyming couplet in the HMHB canon that mentions two different river crossings ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
It’s about one of our most requested songs, digitally speaking, so I’m surprised we haven’t got it yet.
By a process of elimination, we can now deduce from recent clues that there are no more clues relating to Wales, one part of a clue relating to Scotland, and there is more than one English answer remaining. We could also conclude that the real give-away word in the clues in 323 probably relates to this:
13. Which is the only venue named after a river where HMHB have played a gig in the last decade?
Theatre, Severn, Shrewsbury, 2013. Before that it was ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Apart from that, it would be ace if someone had a go at #30 before I reveal all at lunchtime.
4 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Ronnie Boyce use to score at Filbert Street more times than Franky scored in ‘Grannys’
4 October 2019
EXXO
Soz the give-away word was in 321.
4 October 2019
dr desperate
Q11 *cough* Post 337.
4 October 2019
EXXO
Yeah I saw – sounds very well-contrived and I haven’t quite worked it out yet, but probable isn’t good enough. My couplet refers to two crossings as tangible, physical, specific structures (with the genius of the lyric relying on us to contrast them as mental pictures). Purists would probably be irked by some odd syntax, if they could understand the lyric in the first place.
4 October 2019
EXXO
I feel I should give the Doc the chance for a clean sweep of all our remaining points and our very best wishes, by referring him to one of his most requested songs and two of HMHB’s favourite DJs.
4 October 2019
mister tubbs
Re question 13, I’m probably barking up the wrong tree completely, but I remember a gig around the same time as Shrewsbury, in the back streets of Norwich very close to a river, possibly the Wensum, but I’m pretty sure I’d’ve remembered if the venue was named after the Wensum
4 October 2019
dr desperate
“Digitally requested”, very good!
That gives us ‘Bubblewrap’, with its rhyming couplet referring to Thelwall (Viaduct, crossing the Mersey) and (The Auld) Brig o’ (across the) Doon.
4 October 2019
EXXO
Bravo Doc!
QUESTION 11
It will be noted that there’s a coach stuck on the motorway viaduct in the accompanying photo here:
https://www.crewechronicle.co.uk/news/local-news/12-days-your-life-lost-5652890
It’s poised right above the Ship Canal, but at that time (early noughties) it might have been half an hour yet before they crawled the extra few hundred yards which takes the Thelwall Viaduct across the River Mersey. Friday afternoon was inevitably the worst. HMHB would know that only too well.
The coach is probably loaded with pensioners on an outing or weekend break to somewhere like this, which they may never now reach.
https://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/alloway/brigodoon/index.html
But it doesn’t matter too much – “so much for Brig O’Doon” (which is what he means), they say with a shrug, as long as you give us bubblewrap.
You could not find two more contrasting river crossings than the Thelwall Viaduct and the Brig O’Doon. Very carefully chosen.So good that it could have been the starting point for the whole song.
It’s a fine illustration of how Mr. B. doesn’t tend to do the work for us. Imagine how any other satirist might phrase the couplet. Something jaunty like this, no doubt:
“Stuck in the Thelwall Viaduct jams on Friday afternoon
Bus driver says we may not get to see the Brig O’Doon
But it doesn’t matter our outings are boring crap
Just give us our egg sandwiches and loads of bubblewrap.”
I think Mr. B’s condensed imagery – 9 words in place of about 20 – is one reason you could, if you wanted, call much of his work poetry rather than mere verse.
4 October 2019
dr desperate
I would have preferred the broadcast to be ‘On The Wyre’ from 1992 (as you suggested it should have been in 2015); but no, it’s BBC Radio Merseyside, 2007.
4 October 2019
EXXO
Well played, Doc!
QUESTION 13
They played for great HMHB supporter Roger Hill’s long-running show of course, but it went down as a “concert with a specially-invited audience.”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/content/articles/2007/09/20/half_man_half_biscuit_pms_feature.shtml
QUESTION 30
I’ll put you out of your misery. When I thought of the question, I knew there was at least one place that satisfied the criteria – and I also thought that because I’d already mentioned it in my Holmfirth report, someone might remember. I was also hoping there would be somewhere else that satisfied the criteria too, but now I don’t think there is.
So I’m now sure that the only fifth-order tributary in the UK called ‘River Something’ which is a tributary of another ‘River Something’, which is a tributary of another river, which is a tributary of another river, which is a tributary of another river, which flows into the sea… is the tiny River Ribble runs behind the beer garden at the splendid ‘Nook’ pub in Holmfirth. Ribble-Holme-Colne-Calder-Aire-Ouse.
The only obvious hypothetical gig venue is therefore the Nook itself – capacity 200. Although one might try to hire the band hall in nearby Hade Edge or put a large marquee on the football pitches there. Communities often prepared to put up with noise in return for cash for their favourite causes.
So it was seminal DJ Andy Kershaw who kicked all this river stuff off with the mink he spotted by the River Holme, leading to Nigel’s question to the audience at that gig, and in a way it’s Andy Kershaw who rounds it all off.
I reckon I’ll be all quizzed out for a while, which you might be glad to hear. I’m off fishing.
But before I go, and on the same theme – new Pixies single? What a tune, proper earworm, but shit lyrics. i’m off to make up me own.
4 October 2019
dr desperate
As I recall a football manager in a 70’s ‘Play For Today’ saying when he finally got the last League team with an ‘x’ in its name* in a newspaper quiz, “Stuff me gently”. Thanks for all that mental exercise; tight lines, Shaw.
http://www.fishtightlinesshaw.co.uk/site/
*Crewe Alexandra
4 October 2019
Transit full of keith
Cheers for that epic of a quiz, have a good fish. (I might try and come up with one for next week, albeit much shorter).
4 October 2019
dr desperate
In case anybody isn’t yet fed up with potamology, I should explain that my nomination for that double-crossing couplet (see post 337) was:
“I’m on another planet
She’s on the Isle of Thanet.”
The protagonist, discovering that his ex-girlfriend has moved to Broadstairs, makes his way to Kent, only find his way onto the Isle of Thanet blocked by the River Stour (or Wantsum). He jumps in and swims across, but as he is still carrying her umbrella and an A – Z, almost becomes the third victim of drowning in an HMHB song. He is taken unconscious to the Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother (q v) Hospital in Margate, where he awakes to continue his stalking.
The other crossing was obviously made by his ex, probably via the A28 (though one can’t rule out a seaborne approach from Filey, landing at Viking Bay).
4 October 2019
Bobby Svarc
Bad loses on Yare-hoo chess
5 October 2019
lord leominster
Harsh Thames…
7 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Tommy Walsh’s Eco Ouse
9 October 2019
Transit full of keith
Tamar Walsh’s Eco Ouse
9 October 2019
I, problem chimp
Tamar Wash’s Yeo-co Ouse
9 October 2019
Lux inferior
I was way out of my depth with Exxo’s magnificent rivers quiz, but at least I can dive in to the exciting new sub thread of rivers in HMHB songs…
‘Stour Tune’
‘Ure Hard’
‘Derwent To A Wedding’
9 October 2019
Parsfan
The Light At The End Of The Tummel
12 October 2019
lord leominster
Have we previously had a graves based quiz? I have started to think about one but I don’t want to spend 23 years tending the project only to find that the subject matter is already dead and buried.
18 October 2019
lord leominster
Perhaps the subject matter is too shallow for a decent quiz?
18 October 2019
brumbiscuit
I dunno, I could really dig it…
18 October 2019
EXXO
Never mind your pulchritudinous antique velocipdes. What happened to that sepulchritudinous crypt-ic quiz? Don’t bury it in the vaults m’Lud. This Friday will of course be the last Friday quiz opportunity before Hallowe’en.
The sheer weight of my own monumental OTT death-by-quiz efforts may have intimidated you, but if in doubt, wang it out!
It must surely be official Lyrics Project doctrine that knobheads on quiz shows are better than no quiz shows and any Friday quiz is better than no Friday quiz!
*sings* “Let’s get quizzical, quizzical, let me hear your dead body talk…”
21 October 2019
EXXO
Velocipedes – sorry.
21 October 2019
brumbiscuit
10% discount, especially for you, Exxo…
21 October 2019
Lord leominster
Exxo, I had thought my graves material to be a bit too flimsy to base a quiz upon and, yes, I do feel a bit intimidated by your 30 plus river questions and previous 1973 efforts, both of which required a considerable depth (no pun, again) of knowledge to even begin to attempt. I have a couple of ideas and might be able to throw something together by Friday but please don’t get too excited as I’m sure you will see straight through my quiz, if I get to it.
21 October 2019
lord leominster
Hotly tipped, highly anticipated, slated for release, and now actually released, here is Screaming Lord Leominster’s Half Man Half Biscuit GRAVEST HITS quiz. I hope this is a light-touch handling of what is, after all, a gravely serious subject.
Let’s meet at the cemetery gates and start our leisurely stroll amongst the headstones…
I’m not entirely sure whose grave this is. It’s either where my sweet darling has lain or it is the final resting place of an Edward McCrae.
1. Which HMHB song features the word ‘grave’ in its title but uses the word only six times in the song, although you’d be forgiven for thinking that it was 23?
We move on to the magical Meadow of Consolation (careful now, mind that grave that’s waist-deep in meadow grass) where, almost inevitably, Claire Rayner appears.
2. To whom does the song-writer attribute the Claire Rayner line?
3. Before being no longer in need of a season ticket, the answer to Q2 was quoted as saying “when I die, I want them to be buried with me”. Fortunately, for legal, ethical and logistical reasons that wish was not fulfilled. What did he want buried with him?
4. Presumably to ensure that his funeral would not be morose in any way, the answer to Q2 stipulated in his will that two tunes be played as his coffin started its final journey, and that wish was fulfilled. What were the two songs?
We find ourselves standing beside a strange collection of stones outside the Snowdonian village of Beddgelert. There are two slate plaques, one engraved in English, the other in Welsh, telling the tragic tale of the death of Gelert, the faithful hound of Prince Llywelyn Fawr of the early 13th century. ‘Beddgelert’ is a portmanteau of ‘bedd’, the Welsh for ‘grave’, and ‘Gelert’ so this must be Gelert’s grave.
5. In the early 19th century the keeper of the cloven-hoofed creature’s resting place built a cairn and marked it as Gelert’s grave in order to lure unsuspecting tourists to Beddgelert, therefore creating the “fraudulent grave” as told in Emergency Locksmith. What was the fraudster’s occupation and where, specifically, did he ply his trade?
6. Which of Gelert’s distant cousins once left his grave to guide us to safety on a treacherous journey?
7. Who is the most likely candidate to have been the real Gelert, the location of whose grave is unknown?
I’m not sure where we are now but it certainly has a very different feel to it.
8. There is a HMHB song that tells of events perpetrated by a person with almost exactly the same occupation and with almost exactly the same clientele as the answer to Q5. What is the line from that song that establishes the link with Q5 and where in the world might we be?
We have stumbled upon two disturbed graves…
9. If our Betterware man was on Shimano Ultegra for cold, nocturnal shenanigans with Rita in 2011, what groupset would he have been on when he went to dig up Logie in 1985?
…very many disturbed graves!
10. Sydenham’s chorea and Wittmaack–Ekbom syndrome are two medical conditions that have been known to give rise to graveyard disturbances including, but not limited to, the temporary transition of lumbricus terrestris to lumbricus aerius. By what names are the two medical conditions better know? [Strictly no Googling, please, as you should be able to work this out for yourself and if, by chance, you happen to be in possession of a medical qualification, kindly hold back.]
Here’s a headstone with an unusual garment draped over it obscuring the wording. I can make out ‘He…’ ‘Here lies…’ perhaps?
11. What is the name on the headstone and what is unusual about the garment?
We are in the churchyard of St Lawrence next to the grave of the young Nelson Burt. I have just met the local historian who has, interestingly, informed me that there is something missing. The historian was wearing a jacket that looks suspiciously like the one draped over the headstone in Q11 but, for reasons unknown, it was worn beneath a bright, fluorescent bib.
12. What might be missing and why?
Here is a particularly well kept grave.
13. In true Trad. Arr. fashion, HMHB took a song by Blind Lemon Jefferson and turned it from a song about a grave into a song about an object of mechanical pulchritude. Name both songs.
Montgomery, Shropshire. We have found the grave of Bunner the Chandler who died in 2013 at the age of 101 (I don’t know what she died of or whether she had been a teenage bride). Her grave is in the churchyard where we sought sanctuary but found only Spencer the Halfwit sniggering the 46th Psalm.
14. In the churchyard of which church is Bunner the Chandler’s grave?
A headstone that reads “Here lies Jones the Corpse”.
15. What was Jones’ occupation and which town are we near?
Here is a striking looking gentleman. He really ought to have a grave but doesn’t on account of the fact that he is un-dead. I am becoming slightly orgasmic at the thought of vampire lust.
16. It is a widely held belief that Dracula comes from Transylvania but, in the ‘Nasty’ episode of the 1980’s anarchic sit-com The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle portrayed a vampire who hails from which South African province? (You can see how easy it would be for a misunderstanding to arise.)
17. Which sportsman, prominent last century, will die this century and rise from the dead next century?
We find ourselves back at the cemetery gates and our brief tour of the graveyard comes to an end. But we will all back again, one day.
Finally, a bonus question with no scoring points due to its very tenuous link to HMHB. Just in case you thought that the title of this quiz was my original idea…
18. Which American band released their Gravest Hits EP in 1979, despite that fact that it comprised only four songs, being both sides of their first two 7” singles? The tenuous link is a contributor to this site, LI, He of the Failing Light (you know I know where it’s at).
25 October 2019
lord Leominster
*be
25 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Very good quiz, it’s a lot of work. uh un work is hard………14/18
25 October 2019
lord leominster
*known
25 October 2019
Cream cheese and chives
@Leo. Good stuff. I am already feeling better than I normally do on a Friday because the Blue Peter totaliser is flashing on the band “more than three”. Thank you.
25 October 2019
Lord leominster
Thanks Bobby and Cream Cheese. I’m glad you’re liking it. I will post the answers and scoring system on Thursday to make way for a new quiz on Friday. What you working on, Cream Cheese?
26 October 2019
Lord leominster
Correcting of a schoolboy error. “Montgomery is a town and community in the Welsh Marches, administratively in the Welsh county of Powys. It is the traditional county town of the historic county of Montgomeryshire to which it gives its name. The town centre lies about 1 mile west of the English border.” Wrong county, wrong country. Knobhead.
26 October 2019
Lord leominster
Now I have to correct my correction. Either “Correction of a schoolboy error:” or “Correcting a schoolboy error:”. Don’t worry, I annoy myself.
27 October 2019
transit full of keith
Excellent quiz. Without online help, I’ve got a certain 8/18, plus fair guesses at two more and three further possible half-answers. Also, “graves” is a great choice of topic for a week in which our punt-smashing, kecks-dropping PM has solemnly pledged to die in a ditch.
28 October 2019
EXXO
Great stuff from the Marcher Lord. On first reading you’ve got me stumped with 11, 12 & 14.
Today I discovered a quiz show called ‘Head Hunters.’ It’s very possible for a real knobhead to get through the selection round (fastest finger to get one question right, like another more famous quiz). S/he then has to answer some questions ans then choose which team to join based on how much they have bid for his services. Seeing that s/he is a knobhead (“is portugal in Europe?” is the kind of evidence the knobhead will provide), they try to bid the least.
Today the knobhead was such a knobhead that he couldn’t even detect which of the bidders thought he was even thicker than the other bidders thought he was. Rich entertainment. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of any of the questions or any other aspect of the show.
Presenter is that Essex div off of Taskmaster. Knobhead.
28 October 2019
EXXO
Apologies for the casual essexism there. Soon as I posted I thought I might actually check my facts*. He’s Kentish.
But he’s a non-entity, and this isn’t a quiz, so it doesn’t make me a knobhead.
28 October 2019
Alice van der meer
Thank you for that withdrawal (as it were).
Yours, an Essex Boy who, amongst other things, has never even driven a Ford Escort, never mind got his leg over in it.
28 October 2019
transit full of keith
I thought the vehicle of choice was a Cortina. Well it was in Ian Dury’s day.
28 October 2019
Alice van der meer
I’m a bit young for Cortinas, it was Escorts in my day. My brother certainly did all his courting in one…
28 October 2019
dr desperate
Vgq there, Lord Lemmo. Since you specified no Googling for only one question (from which I must recuse myself in any case) I find myself in a position to give some sort of answer to all but No 6.
28 October 2019
Lord leominster
Ian Dury was Lord Upminster for his underrated solo album of 1981. My HMHB moniker, as well as bearing references to HMHB lyrics, is a nod to Dury and borrows his self-deprecating juxtaposition of the grand and the ordinary.
28 October 2019
EXXO
For a real mix or the mundane and arcane, why not call yourself Lord William of Leominster. Then when we get Biscuiteer handles confused with real names, I can say “shall I call you Bill or Ricky, Dicky?”
We escaped from being cut off by Severn flooding by minutes yesterday. Today I’ve spent so much time googling for local press/aerial pics of what it all looks like today in that part of the world that I now know most of what’s happened recently in Leominster, Leintwardine and Clun, amonsgst the wettest places under the sun.
While we were fishing for 3 days under large green umbrellas that frankly saved our lives, I couldn’t help singing
“She prized it rather highly
It saved us once in Highley”
I just can’t figure out why this rhyme doesn’t work, especially as I know I’ll be singing it now for years.
28 October 2019
Lord leominstEr
Do you mean William Fermor, 1st Baron Leominster (alias Lempster) (3 August 1648 – 7 December 1711), styled Sir William Fermor, 2nd Baronet from 1661 to 1692, the English politician and peer? Nah, we never got on with that side of the family.
On Sunday, as I lingered and gawped at an unfortunate man being rescued from his car by boat, I wondered how your fishing trip might be going.
Your rhyme might not work for the same reason that “The three men I admire most
The Father, Son and Mickie Most” doesn’t quite work for me.
29 October 2019
dr desperate
See also:
“Well I’m not really worried about this,
But can some one please answer me this”.
Fortunately we here are rarely subjected to what I call “Sac-a-rifice” lines, where the writer (let’s call him Elton) who has nothing to do all day but make his lyrics scan, looks at one that plainly doesn’t and says, “Yeah, that’ll do”.
29 October 2019
lord leominster
Although, to be fair, the Mickie Most joke works very well. It caught me out and made me chuckle the first time I heard it.
29 October 2019
paul f
@DrD I think it might be more appropriate to call said writer, Bernie.
29 October 2019
dr desperate
Up to a point, @Paul. To paraphrase Sammy Cahn, Bernie has a typewriter, on which he can write the word ‘sacrifice’ only one way; Elton has a piano, on which he can write the music any way he likes.
30 October 2019
EXXO
Hmm, you are in my opinion letting them off on more serious charges by pursuing a lesser and more debatable one. I would agree that to one of the shittiest shit excuses-for-shit-lyrics of the entire eighties, Elton has added an even shittier-than-the-worst-dog-poo-that-causes-you-to-walk-out-of-necessity-into-other-not-quite-as-bad-dog-poo sort of shitty excuse for a tune. The sort of tune that is almost inevitably followed by The Lady in Red on Youtube (I am told).
You can imagine the lyrics being less painful, perhaps even barely noticeable, with a better tune. But the number of syllables not quite matching the number of notes, including spinning out one syllable over as many notes as you please and even adding extra vowels if necessary…well that’s an honoured skill in many, many many genres of music from Mozart to Morrissey and compared to the other crimes of involved in Sacrifice it surely pales into insignificance.
30 October 2019
lord leominster
Today is Halloween so it seems appropriate to provide the answers to last Friday’s GRAVEST HITS quiz. Answers on a post-punk postcard, please….
Answers, points and explanations to some of the clues are shown in [square brackets], below.
1. Which HMHB song features the word ‘grave’ in its title but uses the word only six times, although you’d be forgiven for thinking it was 23?
[Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years, obvs. A full 1 point, despite being almost certainly the easiest question ever asked in the history of the HMHB Friday quiz.]
2. To whom does the song-writer attribute the Claire Rayner line?
[John Peel – 1 point.]
3. Before being no longer in need of a season ticket, the answer to Q2 was quoted as saying “when I die, I want them to be buried with me”. What did he want buried with him?
[(The members of) Half Man Half Biscuit – 1 point.]
4. The answer to Q2 stipulated in his will that two tunes be played as his coffin started its final journey. What songs were played?
[You’ll Never Walk Alone – 1 point, and Teenage Kicks – 1 point.]
5. In the early 19th century the keeper of the cloven-hoofed creature’s resting place [a cryptic clue to the answer – see below] built a cairn and marked it as Gelert’s grave in order to lure unsuspecting tourists to Beddgelert, therefore creating the “fraudulent grave” as told in Emergency Locksmith. What was the fraudster’s occupation and where, specifically, did he ply his trade?
[1 point for ‘tenant manager’, ‘landlord’, ‘inn-keeper’ or similar. 1 point for ‘Goat Hotel’ – but reduce this to only ½ a point if you answered ‘Royal Goat Hotel’ as the hotel did not award itself royal status until the 1870’s.]
6. Which of Gelert’s distant cousins once left his grave to guide us to safety on a treacherous journey?
[Old Tige – 1 point. As an aside, I had previously always thought of Old Tige’s presence as being ghostly in nature, but the lyrics read “The big bus stopped I got off it was awful dark and thick with fog Then something gently nuzzled me and there stood Tige my dog” which means that Tige’s presence was physical, adding a whole new, ghoulish dimension to the story *shudder*.]
7. Who is the most likely candidate to have been the real Gelert, the location of whose grave is unknown?
[St. Celert – 1 point, or if you have another reasonable answer award yourself 1 point, to a maximum of 1 point available for this question.]
8. There is a HMHB song that tells of events perpetrated by a person with almost exactly the same occupation and with almost exactly the same clientele as the answer to Q5. What is the line from that song that establishes the link with Q5 and where in the world might we be?
[1 point for “I am the landlord of the pub that gets the cemetery trade” from Blood on the Quad. An acknowledgement is due to Exxo and his Rivers quiz for telling us that the punting in Blood on the Quad happens on the Backs of the Cam, placing the action in Cambridge – 1 point – but that Cambridge has ‘courts’, rather than Oxford’s ‘quads’, so we might be in Oxford – 1 point, being 3 points in total available for this question].
9. If our Betterware man was on Shimano Ultegra for cold, nocturnal shenanigans with Rita in 2011, what groupset would he have been on when he went to dig up Logie in 1985?
[This is not so much a trick question as one designed to momentarily break the stride of pro-quizzers and to put knobhead quizzers on an equal footing. We don’t know the answer to this question. One possible answer would be Shimano 600 as the Ultegra groupset evolved out of Shimano 600 in 1988 when the 600 was rebranded as 600 Ultegra (before becoming Ultegra in 1997). However, the lyrics say “I’m on Shimano Ultegra now, ain’t you heard?” which implies an upgrade so I was thinking that he was on Shimano 105, which had been available since 1983. (All of the above Shimano information is from Wikipedia so if it’s wrong, please tell Wiki, not me.) Which is a very long-winded way of saying 1 point for any half-sensible answer (including ‘Campagnolo’ and/or ‘Sturmey Archer’), plus you can award yourself an extra ½ point if you included Shimano 105 in your answer, and nil points for no answer, in which case who’s the knobhead now? (maximum score is 1½ points)]
10. Sydenham’s chorea [St Vitus’ dance – 1 point, as in Nerys Hughes’ “St Vitus came to my town and visited the cemetery The dead got up and everything became one big cacophony”] and Wittmaack–Ekbom syndrome [Restless Leg Syndome – 1 point] are two medical conditions that have been known to give rise to graveyard disturbances including, but not limited to, the temporary transition of lumbricus terrestris to lumbricus aerius [clue – ‘earthworms’ becoming ‘airworms’, as in “worms are flying through the graveyard mist”.] By what names are the two medical conditions better know?
11. Here’s a headstone with an unusual garment draped over it obscuring the wording. I can make out ‘He…’ ‘Here lies…’ perhaps? What is the name on the headstone [Helen – 1 point] and what is unusual about the garment? [It is a black satin tour jacket with detachable sleeves – 1 point.]
12. We are in the churchyard of St Lawrence next to the grave of the young Nelson Burt. I have just met the local historian who has, interestingly, informed me that there is something missing. The historian was wearing a jacket that looks suspiciously like the one draped over the headstone in Q11 but, for reasons unknown, it was worn beneath a bright, fluorescent bib. [Clue – the historian is Dr Desperate which points to the A to Z of HMHB ‘N is for… Nelson Burt’ page.]
What might be missing [a body – 1 point] and why? [Nelson drowned in the Mersey and his body was never recovered – 1 point]? [Note: I used the wording “what might be missing” as another source, Wiki, tells me that Nelson is buried in the churchyard of St Lawrence. With hindsight, I realise that I have done Dr Desperate a disservice as I know which source of information I should trust.]
13. In true Trad. Arr. fashion, HMHB took a song by Blind Lemon Jefferson and turned it from a song about a grave into a song about an object of mechanical pulchritude. Name both songs. [See That My Grave’s Kept Clean – 1 point and See That My Bike’s Kept Clean – 1 point].
14. Montgomery, Powys. We have found the grave of Bunner the Chandler who died in 2013 at the age of 101. Her grave is in the churchyard where we sought sanctuary but found only Spencer the Halfwit. In the churchyard of which church is Bunner the Chandler’s grave? [We don’t know for certain which church was sought as sanctuary but most likely it was St Nicholas Church, which is certainly where Mary Bunner’s headstone is located – 1 point – as reported on the A to Z of HMHB ‘B is for… Bunner the Chandler’ page.]
15. A headstone that reads “Here lies Jones the Corpse”. What was Jones’ occupation [verger – 1point] and which town are we near [Abersoch – 1 point]?
16. It is a widely held belief that Dracula comes from Transylvania but, in the ‘Nasty’ episode of the 1980’s anarchic sit-com The Young Ones, Alexei Sayle portrayed a vampire who hails from which South African province? (You can see how easy it would be for a misunderstanding to arise.) [The Transvaal – 1 point (which ceased to be a province in 1994 but was still one when the episode was first broadcast).]
17. Which sportsman, prominent last century, will die this century and rise from the dead next century? [Chester Barnes – 1 point.]
18. Which American band released their Gravest Hits EP in 1979, despite that fact that it comprised only four songs, being both sides of their first two 7” singles? [The Cramps] The tenuous link is a contributor to this site, LI, He of the Failing Light [Lux Inferior – Lux being the SI derived unit of illuminance and Lux Interior who was the Cramps’ lead singer and driving force] (you know I know where it’s at) [is a lyric from You Got Good Taste by the Cramps]. [Nil points for the whole of this question].
By my maths, the maximum possible score is 26½ points. Kindly mark your own papers.
Thanks for taking part. I hope that the quiz has left you feeling that you have been brushed by the wings of something dark.
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Graves – Supplementary Questions.
I have three further questions that I only thought of after the graves quiz had been published (ain’t that always the way?). It seems a shame to waste them (and one of them is quite good, if I say so myself). I can either post them and invite answers today in order to leave Friday free for a new quiz, or I can post a mini-Friday quiz tomorrow. Does anyone have a quiz lined up for tomorrow?
31 October 2019
dr desperate
Excellent quizzing, milord! I’ve awarded myself 25 points, having given 600EX for Q9 and been airshipped by Q6 altogether (Old Tige, of course Old Tige). I had Cilhart for Q7, which according to a Myths & Legends website was the dog’s name in the earliest recorded version of the legend, dating to the late 15th century.
I may be able to claw back a point by mentioning that the two tunes played as Peel’s coffin started its final journey were ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ by The Kop and ‘Goin’ Down Slowly’ by Howlin’ Wolf (‘Teenage Kicks’ was played at the end of the ceremony). I would also, as ever, point out that all jackets have detachable sleeves; what makes those of the BSTJ unusual is that they are re-attachable.
On to the Supplementary Questions!
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Dr D, you were very unlucky to miss half a point on 600EX. On another day I may well have chosen that myself. Them’s the vagaries. Cilhart is an excellent answer, worthy of the point and I am mightily impressed that you didn’t slip up with Royal Goat Hotel, as had been quoted by some of the sources I found. With regard to the Peel songs answer, let’s say 1 point each for You’ll Never Walk Alone, Goin’ Down Slowly, and Teenage Kicks, up to a maximum of 2 (two) points for now, and if we need a tie-breaker we can re-visit this. With apologies for the confusion caused by my sloppy research.
We often overlook Old Tige but it happens to be one of my favourites. I love the slipping of accent from ‘Western’ style to Wirral, and the laughter at the end.
As for detachable/re-attachable sleeves, a very good point that will forever remain with me, but no further quiz points.
31 October 2019
EXXO
Quintessential quizzing! I was stumped by Q.11, for which I feel foolish, and by 12 But is it too early for quintessential quibbling? Nelson’s body was indeed recovered 6 days after the wreck, bobbling bloated around bits of the boat. It would be a memorial rather than a grave, were there no body. https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/~cmi/books/earlySS/ellesmere.html
I wasn’t stumped by #14, but must query nevertheless. Dai originally comes from a village near Abersoch, say Llanbedrog, and we do know that Dai is still resident in Wales at the time of the narrative, but we do not know that this is the venue for the serial murders of the Borough Surveyor and verger. The Borough Surveyor would need to be on a visit from somewhere very far away. To me it’s more likely that the blood-drinking takes place in a Borough. A larger town in which Dai is now resident, and which is home to another gawping verger. Not many of those in North Wales, but there are/have been a few such boroughs.
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Exxo – Ref Q12, in that case I am pleased that I was cautious and said ‘what might be missing’. Award yourself 2 points for knowing the full story. I will have a word with the local historian.
Q15 was a bit of a throw-away question to note the existence of a grave reference and I am guilty of not having given it very much thought. You have given it the appropriate amount of thought, for which I am grateful, and it does, indeed, seem unlikely that the events took place near Abersoch. Let’s say 1 point for ‘Abersoch’ or 1 point for ‘unknown’, with a maximum of 1 point (in addition to the 1 point for ‘verger’).
31 October 2019
EXXO
You certainly know how to win me round, Richard, Coeur de Leom: a little flattery, and a generous serving of tasty POINTS.
FWIW my own personal guess is that the Borough Surveyor’s blood is extracted after Dai attends a noisy Hallowe’en event in say Wrexham. Or Aberystwyth. The blood is brought home in a high-end thermos flask and drunk after 20+ snakebites and a few Jaegerbombs, before murdering the verger of Dai’s home village (say at St. Pedrog’s in Llanbedrog) in revenge for all those years of gawping judgementally whenever Dai goes home.
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Uncanny. That’s just what I was thinking.
31 October 2019
LUX INFERIOR
@ Lord L: I’m honoured to have been a tenuous link in your quiz, though rather disappointed to be associated with a ‘nil points’ scenario. Mind you, I shouldn’t be surprised…the results of my lifetime are a string of nils.
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Lux – no offence intended. I wanted to acknowledge the source of the ‘Gravest Hits’ quiz title (lacking imagination, I have very few original ideas, myself). However, I considered the question to be a bit too far removed from HMHB usual business to be able to grant it points status. Rather than be disappointed, think of the question as having honorary status.
31 October 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Thanks for that M’lord. At least I’d be good on Pointless (if I wasn’t such a Knobhead).
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Do we have any more claims for scores to be considered? So far I have a claim for 25 points from Dr D. and Exxo has owned up to dropping 2 points on one question which would put him on 24.5 points. But, drama, a steward’s [singular] enquiry is in progress, so there is still everything to play for.
31 October 2019
transit full of keith
A moderate 11 for me.
Arbitrary bonus points, I guess, are unlikely to be had for recalling that Alexei Sayle’s South African vampire was masquerading as a driving instructor, and was unmasked by Vivian asking a tricky question about box junctions.
Or boring on yet again with my theory that the “pub that gets the cemetery trade”, in a Cambridge context, may have been inspired by a visit to the beer garden of the Cambridge Blue, which spills out into a graveyard.
If nobody else has a prior quiz claim, I’ve got one I can post tomorrow.
31 October 2019
lord leominster
Transit – no further points, I’m afraid, otherwise where would it all end?
I had forgotten the driving instructor element of the Young Ones chaos, but I do remember the vampire’s outburst ‘Oh, Outspan!’ presumably in response to Vivian’s interrogation.
By all means have tomorrow’s quiz spot. I am all quizzed out. I will save my supplementary grave questions for another day.
31 October 2019
dr desperate
Actually, now I come to think of it, under the T&Cs of Q10 I’m excused that one, so my score drops back to 24.
31 October 2019
dr desperate
Nope. 23.
31 October 2019
EXXO
You’ll have noticed my mix-up earlier on between questions 14 and 15. This meant I forgot to say I didn’t get #14, the name of the church in Montgomery. I’m always keen to engineer a tie-break, whether or not I am involved in it, so I feel I should also lose half a point for betting Mrs E that there would be more trick-or-treaters after 8pm tonight, and there weren’t.
(round our way between 8 and 9 pm on Hallowe’en, every 10 minutes the probability of further sweets being doled out seems to go 50-50, 60-40, 70-30, 80-20, 90-10, and then obviously the curve goes a bit weird, but I’m assuming around now I can afford to start eating some of the sweets).
31 October 2019
EXXO
Actually, never imagining that it would actually come to counting points, I forgot your thing about ‘Royal’ too, so I think that’s -0.5 for me.
Quibbling again, I won’t be subtracting any points for the “we might be in Oxford” thing, ‘cos we simply can’t be, cos there’s no way anyone might think The Backs were in Oxford, because that’s an actual geographical stretch of the Cam/Rhee, whereas there is a way they could call courts “quads”, ‘cos that’s just different local words for the same thing.
So yeah, 23.
31 October 2019
Lord leomInster
Dr D – I only intended for you to hold back from providing the answer to that one question until others had had the opportunity to answer it. So your score remains at 25 which I believe is the highest score. Congratulations.
The steward’s enquiry was to see if there should be a sanction applied for providing incorrect information on the ‘N is Nelson Burt’ page but the enquiry found that it was entirely the question-setter’s responsibly to get the facts right.
Everyone who took part in the quiz is a winner as it was all about mucking in, having a go and having some fun. So my Best Wishes are awarded to all who took part.
If any prospective quiz setters are out there my advice is to have a go. The highest scorers were tripped up by the easiest of questions. It was more work than I expected but much more fun, too. If I were to do it again I’d be more diligent in checking my facts before publishing the questions.
I will set my remaining three graves questions on the first Friday after someone next joins the ‘no longer in need of season tickets’ club.
31 October 2019
Lord leominster
I posted my last comment before seeing Exxo’s previous two comments. No tie break needed as everyone’s a winner.
31 October 2019
Lord leominster
Oxford is a place full of made up and mispronounced words. And it’s all pretentious affection as far as I’m concerned. (I worked there for a number of years and am not fond of the place.)
31 October 2019
EXXO
Great quiz and rich entertainment, Richard.
Well played, Doc. Tarnation, it’s been ages since I engineerd a tie-break.
But this has given me an idea for the quiz on Friday 30th October 2020.
Meanwhile I look forward to some beefy conundra tomorrow from the sidestreets of Keith.
31 October 2019
BOBBY SVARC
I got to 9 then I packed it in.
31 October 2019
EXXO
🙂 You old fox.
Which reminds me – what’s happened to Peter McBirdy lately? We need to know if he’s sensing that something special is happening this season!
31 October 2019
Lord leominster
Just realised that Leominster is a mispronounced word. Feck it!
1 November 2019
Lord leominster
And that all words are made up. Bollocko!
1 November 2019
transit full of keith
THE “MOD DIFF V DIFF HARD SEVERE” QUIZ
All questions are mountain, hill and climbing-related with a link to Biscuit (occasionally a very tenuous one). Give yourself one point for a Mod., 2 for a Diff., 3 for a V. Diff. and 4 for a Hard Severe question, if answered without checking posts on this site or elsewhere on the internet.
All questions in round 1 are graded Moderate. Rounds 2-4 have 4 questions in roughly ascending order of difficulty. The final round is all Hard Severe.
1) The ‘Only Gone for a Sensible Walk’ Round (all answers M)
Which county are you in if you are:
M: Checking out the Quantocks?
M: Descending the Stiperstones?
M: Singing a song of encouragement on the Orme ascent?
M: Sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob?
2) The ‘Ghost of Kirkus’ Round
M: Two climbers of the 1930s from Merseyside, Colin Kirkus and John Menlove Edwards, are alluded to in the song. The surname of which other famous climber, who came to prominence in the 1940s and 1950s, also appears in the song?
D: The narrator of Mod, Diff, V Diff, Hard Severe is trapped on “Cloggy”. What’s the full name of this crag, located on a spur of the Snowdon massif?
VD: In which Wirral town, mentioned in a Biscuit song, did Kirkus set up house when he married?
HS: Which Very Severe multi-pitch climb on Cloggy combines the best sections from two classic climbs of the 1930s, one led by Kirkus, and one by Edwards?
3) The ‘Trip to the Highlands with Victor and Hillary’ round
The following Scottish peaks are not mentioned in HMHB songs – but are located in areas which are. Name the areas and the songs. (All answers are more specific than ‘The Highlands’).
M: Sgùrr Alasdair?
D: Schiehallion?
VD: Luinne Bheinn?
HS: Stac Pollaidh?
4) The ‘Glyderaund’
M: Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr, mentioned in ‘Evening of Swing’, overlook which body of water, also mentioned in a Biscuit song?
D: Which other popular peak in the Glyderau (not in a song) is known as the only one in England and Wales which apparently can’t be reached without using the hands?
VD: What steep and evil-looking ravine at the top of Cwm Idwal in the Glyderau (not mentioned in a Biscuit song) gets its name from the smoky-looking mists which gather there, often even in good weather?
HS: If you “fell asleep amongst the boulders strewn between Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr”, you would be quite close to a rocky feature with a lovely poetic name. It isn’t mentioned in song, but was mentioned by NB in an interview as a good spot for bouldering. What’s it called (in Welsh, and in English)?
5) The ‘Half Past Cragfast’ Round (all answers HS)
HS: “Yosemite-bound, ropeless maybe, hopeless no” are phrases could well describe an American climber featured in an award-winning 2018 documentary. Who is he and what was his achievement?
HS: A rare lapse of accuracy in NB’s songwriting is the placing of a trig point on top of Twmpa. Where in fact is the nearest trig point?
HS: The name Bruiser McHuge in ‘On The Roids’ is borrowed from a biography of which former British mountaineering hard man and ‘right bastard’?
HS: Britain’s first E9 rock-climbing route, on Cloggy and first led by Johnny Dawes in 1985, was called “The Indian Face”. It got this name from a nickname for Cloggy itself, coined by a popular provider of services to the 1980s Lllanberis climbing community called Gabwt. What was Gabwt’s trade?
1 November 2019
Chris The Siteowner
This’ll be the point where NB10 comes on and says “I got 5/20”.
1 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Very tenuous links?
I thought that was the whole point… I can actually get a few of these without turning my brain sideways, mind.
1 November 2019
lord leominster
So that’s how to write a quiz. Noted.
1 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Incidentally, Leommy, should you be coming to the Oxford gig (three weeks! gibber gibber), you can see how it’s become a shrine to Harry Potter and the new Westgate Centre. I can fairly confidently predict you’ll hate it even more.
Wonder if I can get my act together in time to have an Alice VDM t-shirt by then? So you all know who to avoid…
1 November 2019
dr desperate
T’ f*ck, @TFoK, that’s an E9 quiz and no mistake. Mountaineering geography is not my strongest subject, as they say on Pointless, which means that for me most of the answers couldn’t be reached without using the hands (to Google). By dint of a mixture of guesswork and, well, more guesswork, I reckon I got 7/55.
1 November 2019
teenage armchair adelaide crows fan
Im visiting England for just one week over Christmas. I would have travelled anywhere to see you play. Can you invite me round for tea or something Nige. I can bring a twix and a can of tango. Alternatively book a gig somewhere between xmas and new year please.
1 November 2019
Transit full of keith
OK I may have let my own obsessions run away with me there (like the pub quizmaster in my brother’s local who would elicit groans by playing intros to 1973 Jethro Tull B-sides in the music round). Some of them should be guessable with a fair knowledge of the lyrics, but point taken, I will post a few clues in the evening…
1 November 2019
lord leominster
I think I have 11 points out of 50, being 5 x Moderate and 1.5 x Hard Severe.
1 November 2019
transit full of keith
In no particular order, some clues. A bit of logical deduction should help match Qs to clues to As.
• Nicknamed ‘The Villain’ due to his surname and charming personality
• So-called probably because of its fortress-like appearance and the sound it makes in a breeze
• Shares name with chirpy cockney
• Catchphrase was apparently “‘Ash for cash”
• One island, one county, one peninsula and one postcode area
• Location name is the first part of a bookish town nearby, plus something you might do in a card game.
• Good place for a circular dawn ramble (according to song)
• Known for tight-fisted horticulturalists (according to song)
1 November 2019
EXXO
I must confess when I realised just now that I still had open a version of this thread as it stood unupdated about 10 hours ago, I couldn’t resist copying and saving Leommy’s entirely accurate rant about Oxford, which was later deleted. Might use it one day as a rousing speech in the later stages of some civil war or other, when the Republican forces of North East Wirral are about to sack the city. Show no mercy!
1 November 2019
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Great quiz, @TFoK. Unless the Dee Estuary is visible from Glyder Fach, I’m pretty sure I scored a zero, but it’s still a great quiz.
1 November 2019
Lord leominster
@Exxo. Guilty as charged. Which is exactly why I don’t do anti-social media.
Whilst what I said about Oxford might be true the real reason I was unhappy there was that I was in a job I didn’t enjoy and I was living in very expensive digs away from home and family.
Truth is that I owe a lot to Oxford. My father was Oxford born and bread and my great grandfather was even mayor of the city. So I really shouldn’t dis it.
1 November 2019
Lord leominster
Bred not Bread. (Wasn’t the latter a Carla Lane sit com?)
1 November 2019
Lord leominster
Thanks for the clues, Transit. I now think I have 9 points out of 50, being 3 x Moderate and 1.5 x Hard Severe. (I had previously misread “Which county are you in” as “Which country are you in”).
1 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Well…… Please let me know if you are going to sack Oxford so that I can get out of the way/join in as I feel fit. If you come in tourist season, a lot of the locals will probably help… and all the matching language school rucksacks will make carrying off the booty much easier!
So… 1 for me in the sensible walk round
Ghost of Kirkus – I’m giving myself 2 points for Cloggy, because I only dropped two letters from the Welsh name
Highlands…. Victor and Hilary will have beaten me here, the obvious place I put the wrong hill in, and I’m blowed if I can connect the others to songs (though I was amused to see that “Gaellically challenged” walkers refer to one as “Loony Bin”)
The “Glyderaund” – I claim a full 10 here. I knew three (number two is on my bucket list, please give me good weather (in Wales, ha ha) this coming spring!), and have a copy of “Trail” magazine covering the circuit, that I’m saving for the assault on number two, that gave me the last.
I reckon I have 8 on the last round, given the clue above (funnily enough, he turns up in said issue of “Trail”, which gave me him), and I’ve been to that trig point (given the clue already given, I don’t think it’s too big a giveaway to announce that it has a rather fetching Ddraig goch on one side).
So a somewhat startling 21 if I can add up right (I usually can’t, so don’t take my word).
2 November 2019
Transit full of keith
@FTVPS, not from Glyder Fach probably, because Glyder Fawr would be in the way, but I’m pretty sure you could glimpse a sliver of Dee Estuary from G. Fawr on a rare clear day. So have a bonus point. Sure you can’t get Q1 in the final round, put in especially for our American reader(s)?
@Alice, top work, and you’ll certainly enjoy scrambling up that peak. Can be dodgy even in spring though. Wintry conditions and lack of ice axe cut short my ascent of Glyder Fach this April, quite near the top. I recommend staying in the Idwal YHA – it’s on the doorstep and steeped in climbing history.
2 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Unfortunately we will be staying at a golf course near Beaumaris where, as on previous occasions, I suspect we’ll be the only people there not interested in glof. Maybe another day, though, thank you for the tip.
2 November 2019
featureless tv producer steve
@TFoK – your American reader certainly appreciates your efforts!
Sadly, I’ve not been tuned in to the rock climbing community since the early 90s, what with being old now and all, but as I read Q1 in your final round, I did vaguely recall hearing that someone had achieved some extraordinary new accomplishment – was it a free-solo climb of Half Dome? Unfortunately, I don’t remember the details, and I definitely don’t remember the climber’s name, so I remain pointless on that one.
But thanks for the bonus point re Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr. I shall cherish it when someday I fall asleep amongst their boulders.
3 November 2019
featureless tv producer steve
Ah, a bit of googling reveals that is was actually a free solo climb of El Capitan. Nonetheless, I would not have been able to name the climber, so pointless I shall remain on that question.
3 November 2019
dr desperate
That would be a good name for an afternoon TV quiz. Name The Climber.
3 November 2019
IDIOT SAUL
A good pitch Doc, but just imagine the disappointment of all those horticulturalists tuning in, armed with their specialist clematis and honeysuckle knowledge, eager to identify ‘What’s on the Trellis?’.
3 November 2019
Transit full of keith
Correction to the clues. They don’t call them counties north of the border any more, it’s one of the ‘council areas’ of Scotland. Island, peninsula and postcode area stand.
3 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Annoyingly, two more jumped out at me on Saturday evening with Hedge on the stereo. Ho hum.
4 November 2019
transit full of keith
I’ll bung the answers up this evening if no one has any objections.
5 November 2019
EXXO
Top quality quiz, Keith. Particularly distinct from some previous quizzes in that there’s really just the pre-google phase and the post-google phase, with very little point in racking brains trying to remember lyrics in between … until the clues, nice, giving me some more to guess on, especially Scottish-ones-wise.
Without googling, I got the first nine questions, two of the Scottish four, all four Glyderau’s but only one and a half Cloggies. Actually only half a Cloggy before your surname clue.
Great idea with the degrees of difficulty for points – not that I’ve done the maths yet.
@CtSO – that’s the sort of thing Mr. B would say but it wouldn’t be true – I think he’d be stumped only by a few county lines and bits of climbing history – but I’ll forward it him anyway and see what he says.
5 November 2019
EXXO
Oh yeah, forgot the trig point one. Got that as well, before your nice clue. But I don’t think Mr. B necessarily places a trig point on LHK – I imagine we are roving over all kinds of real and imaginary ridges and peaks around that point in the song.
5 November 2019
Alice van der meer
I can’t imagine we’ll get a reply from Mr B, but I guess we can dream.
5 November 2019
transit full of keith
Glad some people enjoyed the quiz, despite the niche topic.
ANSWERS
1) Somerset; Shropshire; Clwyd; Powys.
2) Joe Brown; Clogwyn Du’r Arddu (2 points for a reasonable approximation + a bonus point for correct spelling); Heswall; Great-Bow Combination (my mistake, it’s graded HVS: combines Kirkus’s Great Slab with Edwards’s Bow-Shaped Slab).
3) Skye; Perth & Kinross; the Knoydart; Ullapool (postcode area).
4) The Ogwen Lake / Llyn Ogwen; Tryfan; the Devil’s Kitchen; Castell y Gwynt / Castle of the Wind (have 3 points for the Welsh name, plus 1 for the translation).
5) Alex Honnold, a free solo (i.e. ropeless) ascent of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park; Hay Bluff; Don Whillans (the book is ‘The Villain’ by Jim Perrin); purveyor of cannabis.
5 November 2019
Pirx the purist
Except that re. The Orme/Y Gogarth, you’d be in Conwy county; Clwyd hasn’t existed in over 20 years (although many of the address databases used by various organisations haven’t caught up).
5 November 2019
Transit full of keith
Oops. Thanks for the correction. I won’t claim I meant the ‘Preserved Counties’ used for ‘ceremonial purposes of lieutenancy and shrievalty’, because I don’t know what shrievalty is.
6 November 2019
Lord leominster
I that case my score was 10 points (I had a lucky guess with the county name of ‘Conwy’). 5 x Moderate and 1 and a quarter x Hard Severe. Thanks for a good, hard severe quiz.
6 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Indeed – I often marvel at the encyclopedic knowledge of the quiz setters, so it was nice to not only get one where I could answer a few but also dream of hillwalks yet to come. Very much appreciated.
6 November 2019
EXXO
@Pirx. thanks. Never knew that, even when my folks were living in Deganwy, with an Orme view (togther with a much better one of the Conwy estuary). I still see maps on the web with Clwyd on. @ Keith – well I did mean that, except I dont know what shrievalty is either, and I’m keeping the point.
This constant re-organisation of local government in N. Wales links directly back to the warm blood of the Borough Surveyor last week, of course. There haven’t been many boroughs in North Wales for a long time, not of the sort that would have a Borough Surveyor (as Aberystwyth did until 1974 – which of course was pre-goth). Wrexham’s website is less informative than Aberystwyth’s about when that post was abolished. Bangor, the nearest administrative centre to Dai’s origins on the Llyn Peninsula, would have a County Surveyor.
I will aim to avoid the intricacies of Welsh local government re-organisation almost, but not quite, entirely in a series* of HMHB literary quizzes beginning in a few weeks from now.
* depending on how much you hate the first one.
6 November 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Nice quiz @Keith, very engaging. Without googling, reckon I scraped together 8 points mainly from the Glyderaund with 1 point each for partially getting Clogwyn Du’r Arddu and Castell y Gwynt.
@Alice Depends when you go but Tryfan is a great crowd-puller – be prepared for queues. Wonderful mountain tho – ask a small child to draw a mountain and they will draw Tryfan!
7 November 2019
Gipton Teenager
@Phyllis. I did the Glyderau about 25 years ago and always thought that Tryfan resembled the logo of Paramount Pictures.
(I bottled it on Adam and Eve though).
7 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Yes, I saw Tryfan first from the A5 and, coming from less-than mountainous Essex*, it did my flatlander head in. When my parents came to Bangor for my graduation I took them via the A5 to impress them with the hills and we arrived at dusk with the summit slipping in and out of the scudding clouds – could hardly have got more dramatic weather if I’d booked it.
Then I went looking for an aircraft wreck, now long gone, on Carnedd Dafydd and the view along the length of Tryfan’s knife edge from across the valley was, if anything, even more impressive. Admittedly anything bigger than a pimple excites me, but this was spectacular.
I suspect I might brick it on Adam and Eve as well. There’s a wonderful Abraham brothers photo of two women standing on a man who is lying between the two, but the only links I can find to it are via the Daily Heil and the Scum so if you don’t mind I’ll pass on linking them.
*We do have one mountain. after all, the Olympic mountain biking was in Essex, so we must have one. Somewhere.
7 November 2019
Exxo
Anyway, sport has featured remarkably little in the Friday quizzes to date, so your weekend mission, should you choose to accept it, is to examine Chris’ Bobby Robson photo and find the badges of :
* 4 football clubs mentioned in song by hmhb
* One group of fans mentioned by hmhb
* One nationality mentioned by hmhb and its low quality product that Nigel sings about.
* Two other cities mentioned by hmhb (the teams whose badges are shown are not mentioned in hmhb songs, but their cities are)
Please post no answers until Monday afternoon, when at 1 p.m. we shall see if anyone can give us 8 answers and 8 songs
8 November 2019
Parsfan
Almost there, just trying to figure out which of the pennants I don’t recognise is from The Commodores.
9 November 2019
EXXO
Well played, Paul, and good effort looking for the Commodores badge. But I’ll admit right away, a couple of beers had been taken and some wishful thinking was going on when setting the quiz, so many apologies for wasting your time and I’ll need to make two substantial changes to the questions.
*I was convinced that I could see something that must be a corner of the Real Madrid pennant from when Ipswich knocked out Franco’s favourites in 1973 (so the answer to the supporters group one was of course meant to bethe Ultra Sur, in Yipps), but I really can’t justify the question. Maybe that one is behind Bobby or the Cup.
*I have daftly mistaken one small badge for another similar one.
So now I’m asking for the following 6 (and in which songs they appear)
* 3 football clubs mentioned in song by HMHB
* One nationality mentioned by HMHB and its low quality product that Nigel sings about.
* Two other cities mentioned by HMHB (the teams whose badges are shown are not mentioned in HMHB songs, but their cities are)
So I will add a couple more questions:
Q7. Which club mentioned in a HMHB song, but whose badge is not featured in the photo, are the greatest rivals of two of the clubs whose pennants/badges are shown. Together these three clubs are known as their country’s “big three.”
Q8. A really tough cryptic one this. What is the direct (but not lyrical) link between one of the other cities whose badge is shown (the one which I mistook at first glance for another famous club’s colours) and The Trumpton Riots? This is not a lyrical link, so for example it has nothing to do with the word ‘Basque.’
Post your answers after 1pm Monday.
9 November 2019
parsfan
And there was me thinking the real answer to the fans one was going to be about Strømsgodset.
9 November 2019
Lord leOminster
…and I had been looking for the Martian flag.
9 November 2019
EXXO
Alas no Mars Ultras, Ultra Sur chants, Strømsgodset under-fives, Commodores or Transits full of Keith …. but would anybody like to start us off who reckons they may have a few of the answers?
11 November 2019
EXXO
Think I’ll go on asking more and more tricky ones until I get some answers to the easy ones (come on – the first 6 above are easily gettable from the pic and a bit of Control+). I’ll be well impressed if anyone gets even two of these latest ones, even with google!
9. Which of Mr. Blackwell’s favourite sportsmen (mentioned at two or three gigs over recent years) hails from one of the cities whose pennant is shown, but supports another more famous club from the same country … whose pennant is also shown?
10. Which footballer mentioned on stage by Mr. B recently was in the home team for a match at Portman Road, the pennant from which is hanging in the middle of the photo? He played in all of the home team’s games that season, never played for them before or since, and never, ever played for Ipswich Town!
11. One of the pennants is from a European Cup match against a club which at the time of the photo (78/79), had never won a competitive tie in European competition, despite many attempts. Since then they have won two, most recently against a Welsh club that has still never won a competitive tie in European competition.
12. Which pennant in the picture, when you google up a clearer version of that club’s badge anyway, shows animals which arguably owe their presence on the crest to someone who died in the eruption of Vesuvius, 79 AD?
11 November 2019
EXXO
Q. 13
A relatively easy one to guess from the inept way I’ve worded the question. I could maybe have done it more trickily. One of the clubs whose pennant and name is most prominently and clearly shown in the photo has had 26 seasons of European competition since 1959. This makes it the record number of seasons in Europe for a team based where? The answer is not a town, city or country!
11 November 2019
Transit full of keith
I’m no good at the football ones.
Dukla Prague and Ipswich Town for two of the teams, obviously. For the cities, Rotterdam (Feyernoord) is cock-a-hoop. Q7 – Inter? And that’s me done.
11 November 2019
postman-tony
Ron Atkinson once quoted that Arnold Muhren can open a tin of peas with his left foot.
No he can’t Ron he uses a can opener like everybody else….
11 November 2019
EXXO
Three points for Keith! Good start.
For Q7, no, good guess though and we’re v. close in terms of the colours of the shins.
What have you got, Paul?
11 November 2019
Slow dempsey
The third club mentioned in the lyrics is Borussia Monchengladbach.
The two cities mentioned are Rotterdam (Feyenoord) and Enschede (Twente).
The big three in Belgium are Anderlecht, Bruges (which are not in the lyrics but are in the picture) and Standard Liege (for which the reverse is true).
The national pennant is Swiss: purveyors of third rate agit-pop.
11 November 2019
Lux inferior
I’ll have a pop at a couple of the trickier ones Exxo…
9. Bauke Mollema
11. Floriana FC
11 November 2019
Lux inferior
10. Jeff Blockley (England U23 v Switzerland U23)
Chuffed with that one!
11 November 2019
EXXO
Great stuff from Slow Depsey, Keith and Lux.
Q 1-3 three football clubs mentioned in song by HMHB: Dukla Prague, Ipswich Town and Borussia Mönchengladbach (the pennant with the black and white diamond-shaped B, just behind the team pic of Ipswich)
Q4. One nationality mentioned by HMHB and its low quality product that Nigel sings about.
There is a Swiss FA pennant – so yes, Slow is of course correct about the third-rate Swiss agit-pop (from Mars Ultras of course).
Q5-6. Two other cities mentioned by HMHB (the teams whose badges are shown are not mentioned in HMHB songs, but their cities are)
Yes, Rotterdam (Feyenoord, at the top) from Joy in Leuuwardenand Enschede (FC Twente ’65, partially visible behind Mr. Robson)
Q7. Spot-on, Slow, it’s Standard Liege, the other member of Belgium’s “big three” – not a pennant but the small blue & black circular badge with a crown on top is Club Brugge & at first glance I thought that was Inter (so I originally said there were 4 clubs mentioned in HMHB songs)
Brilliant too, Lux, very impressive – questions 9 & 11 nailed. Q.9 Bauke Mollema, Team Trek stalwart of the tours, and Mr. B’s incredibly unlucky 2017 tip for a TDF podium finish, is a Feyenoord fan from Groningen (glory-hunter!)
Q. 11 Floriana FC from Malta is the gold & white pennant on the left – Ipswich’s first ever European tie in 1962, with about a 14-1 aggregate for Town I think? In Europe, Floriana have only ever beaten (i) a Lithuanian outfit in 1993 in a CL qualifier and (ii) Aberystwyth Town in the 1999 Intertoto Cup.
This just leaves 8, 10, 12 &13. All those first three are quite quirky and tough in different ways. Further clues may follow. the badges or pennants referred to in 8 & 10 have already been included in previous questions/answers 1-7, those for 12 & 13 have not.
Q. 13. one of the most obvious pennants, is easier.
11 November 2019
EXXO
Brilliant, Lux – Q. 10 nailed – I’ll leave it to you to explain the pennant, and Geoff’s long-forgotten season of glory.
11 November 2019
EXXO
Jeff, even!
11 November 2019
Lux inferiOr
I’m about 90% certain the answer to Q.12 is Genoa (Griffin, Pliny the Elder).
11 November 2019
EXXO
Bravo, good googling. You have the right man and the right work of natural history. But a more common species that (he said) gave its name to a place, and therefore appears on the badge of that place…
11 November 2019
Transit full of keith
13) The Zuiderzee? Feyenoord again? Don’t know much about football, but living in a reclaimed fen and all…
11 November 2019
EXXO
Interesting speculative effort from well outside the box, but my next clue is that if
Q.13 was Feyenoord, they would also have the most appearances in Europe by any club from their city, which this club don’t. Therefore nor do the outfit in question have the most appearances by any club from their country, or their country’s league, and it can’t be their own little area, ‘cos after all every team has the most X, Y or Z in their own little area … and they aren’t on an island …
So it’s the most seasons in European football from any club … where?
11 November 2019
Slow dempsey
Q13. If the club is Fenerbahçe, is the answer ‘from outside Europe’?
12 November 2019
Slow dempsey
Q8. In the discussion page for the Trumpton Riots lyrics, mention is made that a small section of the song is used in the soundtrack of the film ‘Seven Psychopaths’. The director of this film, Martin McDonagh, also made ‘In Bruges’ which links to the blue and black striped badge of FC Bruges.
12 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Jeff almost single handedly saved Leicester in the 74/75 season, Bloomfield signed him after Malcolm Munro quit football to be a trucker in Canada. He still holds cult status amongst City fans of a certain age. Mr B said of Jeff Blockley that he had the perfect name for a builder, I booed that but cheered the fact that he knew the names of the five W’s who were wearing the royal blue when we played West Ham in the 74/75 season.
12 November 2019
LUX INFERIOR
@ Bobby – Without googling, would that be Weller, Worthington, Whitworth, Wallington & Woollett?
@ Slow – Brilliant. I reckon you’ve nailed Q.13.
12 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Chapeau lux. Who was the unused substitute ?
12 November 2019
EXXO
Chapeau, Slow that’s the quiz cracked – Q. 13 Fenerbahçe (meaning “lighthouse park” of course) have the most appearances in European competition by any team based in Asia, or in their continent, or outside Europe (their main city rivals are both based on the European side of the Bosphorus). The next is Maccabi Haifa, then Maccabi Tel Aviv.
Q.8 Indeed, you’ve sussed that the direct link is film writer/director and Trumpton Riots fan Martin McDonagh.
Hope someone will set us more sporty quizzicles one of these fine Fridays …
12 November 2019
LUX INFERIOR
I’ve no idea Bobby – I just recall your 5 Ws as it’s one of my earliest footy memories!
Another superb quiz Exxo. Fine work all round.
12 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Joe Waters
12 November 2019
EXXO
@Bobby. As it happens I’m a keen follower of both Pike Rovers in Limerick and the Bellarmine Girls’ Prep School XI in Tacoma near Seattle, so I’m biased but I’d guess Joe Waters?
12 November 2019
EXXO
Ooh, no sorry, rewind… we haven’t got number 12 yet, have we? Lux hit the bar from near the penalty spot when he said that it might be Genoa, who have the griffin on their badge, and it was a great piece of googling, because Pliny the Elder in separate voumes of his vast Natural History, which became the encyclopaedia of the Roman world, mentions Genoa, the origins of its name, and the mythical griffin, which appears on the city’s badge. But he does not link the two, as the griffin was not linked with the city until medieval times. Anyway, that’s just one animal, and I asked about ‘animals.’
Which of the club pennants in the photo, if it was higher resolution and you could zoom in closer (which you can’t), would show two animals whose presence there is very arguably due to Pliny making the link between the place and the animals?
12 November 2019
EXXO
… and before I forget, that’s always another excellent trick question you can ask mates who like their European footy badges, especially if they also suffer from patriotism in any way. Ask them from which country’s flag (you can say ‘state’ if you wish) do all of Barca, Milan, Bologna, Sampdoria and Genoa get part of their badges?
They will say ‘England’ of course and you can scoff loudly and leave them to stew before pointing out that the cross of St. George originates in the flag of the Republic of Genoa, a proud state/country for 750 years.
12 November 2019
parsfan
Exxo, sorry, only just catching up now. From the remaining original questions I had all but Ipswich – I was only looking at pennants.
For the subsequent questions I only had Standard Liege.
Overall much better than I’ve managed in any of the other quizzes.
12 November 2019
EXXO
Well played Paul. You may still grab the remaining glory on question 12.
12. Which pennant in the picture, when you google up a clearer version of that club’s badge anyway, shows animals which arguably owe their presence on the crest to someone who died in the eruption of Vesuvius, 79 AD? (Lux has correctly identified the someone as Pliny the Elder, and therefore the source as somwhere in the pages of his vast Roman encyclopaedia, the Natural History)
Looking again at the photo,
the pennant in question is located in the picture, from Mr. Robson’s point of view, in a similar position that Pliny the Elder’s Roman map of the empire might have shown this place. The factoid about the link between this place and the animals has I’m pretty sure been on quizzes such as both QI and University Challenge in recent years, and the link between this place and Ipswich Town is also pretty easy to find. Search this site, and you can even find a link between this place and me (I’m sure quite a few of you have been there, too).
13 November 2019
Transit full of keith
Atletico Madrid (the bear)
13 November 2019
EXXO
That’s warmer, but I can’t see them in the photo and I can’t find that particular ursus in my Pliny. QI of course is founded on trying to catch people out about common misconceptions, which is why they used this fctoid as a question, why many of us may still associate the wrong creatures with this place, and probably why such a complex badge is necessary.
[Keith has clearly appreciated that Bobby Robson would have been looking at this picture a mirror, of course, in order to get the badge in the corner that corresponded with its rightful pposition on Pliny’s map of the lands beyond the fringes of the empire]
13 November 2019
Slow Dempsey
I think the pennant at the bottom right of the picture might be that of Las Palmas FC. Ipswich played them in the 1977/78 UEFA cup, triumphing 4-3 on aggregate.
The Las Palmas club badge features a pair of dogs. Wikipedia confirms that Pliny referred to the Canaries as having been named after the large number of dogs on what is now Gran Canaria.
13 November 2019
EXXO
It is now! Well played Mr. D! The word ‘Palmas’ is in fact there on the pennant in a florid medieval-style script.
The badge of Union Deportivo Las Palmas might be a bit ‘bitty’, but I admire it for also displaying the badges of all five clubs which merged to form the “union” in 1949 and so managed to keep the best Canarian players from emigrating to the mainland. As a reward, they were promoted to the top division within two years of their foundation and have had that status for roughly half of the time ever since. Dogs of war.
13 November 2019
Chris The Siteowner
As you might expect, I’ve very much enjoyed the quiz above, with its direct and more tenuous links to my own team. The photo of Sir Bobby comes from the programme for his testimonial match, curiously 40 years ago this very day. This match had some memorable moments and appearances; this one has been useful for winning bets for many years…
13 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Lovely picture Chris. A similar occurrence happened at Nuneaton Borough AFC in the early eighties when the Boro’ were in serious financial strife. The then Boro’ Chairman Noel Kelly had met George at some function and had his phone number, he rang him a George, without a bat of an eyelid said yes. He come, played 90mins, scored the winner v Coventry, signed thousands of autographs and was magnificent.
14 November 2019
dr desperate
I’m sorry that a combination of family commitments and footballing ignorance prevented me from contributing to this Exxam: perhaps I could come on deep in injury time to suggest that two of the recently mentioned teams might have made an attractive pairing in the Carabao Cup next year, had they not both been knocked out in August.
14 November 2019
transit full of keith
Great quiz Exxo. Not a topic I’m ever going to do that well on, but it takes a fair bit of ingenuity to extract a full, and sufficiently Biscuity, quiz from a single photo.
14 November 2019
lord leominster
@CtSO – I’ve just asked my mate, who happens to be an ITFC supporter, which player he considers to have been their Best Ever player. He didn’t answer correctly so I was able to send him the pic. Thanks.
14 November 2019
dr desperate
(That attractive fantasy fixture was, of course, Ipswich Town v the Canaries.)
14 November 2019
mister tubbs
Hello there – I’m not sure about the etiquette for the Friday quiz, but I have cobbled one together – providing there isn’t another one already scheduled for today?
15 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Come on Tubby, go for it. Selby’s on at two
15 November 2019
EXXO
Yep, etiquette seems to be just go for it unless someone’s announced in the style of Lesley Judd or Boris Johnson that they’ve got one ready that they made earlier. Which nobody has, so feel free to let slip the dogs of quiz.
15 November 2019
lord leominster
I have bagsied the first Friday following the next death of someone mentioned in a HMHB song, for a mini-quiz comprising three left-over questions from my earlier graves quiz.
15 November 2019
EXXO
I like your booking system Leommy, and so I’ll bagsy the day before the birthday of both Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift, two of the masters of irony, for the first of my literary efforts (that’s a fortnight today). Unless of course one of the accursed dies that week, in which case its yours. Who’ve you got in the ‘Curse Pool’ by the way?
15 November 2019
mister tubbs
OK – quiz coming up, unfortunately for any on here who don’t like sport of any kind, particularly football, this probably won’t be your cup of tea:-
There was something on the news recently suggesting that 1978 was the worst year ever – for the Scots it was certainly a bad year football wise, but fans of Nottingham Forest, Ipswich, Everton, West Brom, even Coventry had plenty to cheer about. The big event of the year was the World Cup in Argentina, and whilst it wasn’t the best World Cup on record, with no great teams or superstars emerging, and it had many controversies that still wind people up 40 years later, there was no lack of drama, exciting matches and a ridiculous number of shots cannoning off the woodwork.
For HMHB fans under the age of 50, a lot of these questions will probably sail over their heads, but judging from the receding hairlines on display at most gigs, and the comments made by Crapsons at Sheffield about the “old people” in the audience, hopefully some of these questions will jog a few memories.
*Most of these questions have been written from memory, and although I’ve checked some of the details, there may be errors. Also, there is at least one trick question*
Three cheers for the infinite leaflets – Tickertape got me thinking of Kempes…
1 – Starting with Kempes, there were 4 other players in the squads of the 16 finalists in Argentina, who have been mentioned in songs by HMHB. Can you name the players.
2 – Argentina played seven matches in order to win the World Cup. Which of their opponents was the only team to fail to qualify for the next World Cup in 1982?
They come from underneath the stairs …
3 – Tony Gubba had to wait until 1982 before getting to commentate at a World Cup, but which commentator still going today made his World Cup debut in 1978, and what was his first match?
4 – Three commentators working for BBC or ITV were commentating at their final World Cup for terrestial television. Can you name the commentators and their final match?
5 – Gerald Sinstadt’s first commentary at the 78 World Cup was the Argentina-Hungary match. What did Sinstadt complain about during this match:-
A) He couldn’t make out the numbers on the players shirts
B) He didn’t know why there was a minute’s silence before the game
C) The television pictures picked out the wrong scorer for the winning goal
D) All of the above
E) None of the above
Get back in your technical area…
6 – Can you name the two managers at the 1978 World Cup who had managed the same teams at the 1974 World Cup?
7 – Can you name the three managers at the 1978 World Cup, who kept their jobs long enough to manage the same teams at the 1982 World Cup?
8 – Who managed the Dutch team at the 1978 World Cup, he also won the European Cup 5 years later with SV Hamburg. Can you also name the city, in which there is a stadium named after him?
Tibor’s kids are underfed …
9 – Hungary’s Tibor Nyilasi was sent off with the penultimate “kick” of their opening match against the hosts. Which of his team-mates beat Nyilasi to an early bath by two minutes?
10 – In Hungary’s next match against the Azzuri, which Italian forward had three efforts come back off the Hungarian cross-bar?
11 – Hungary’s final match against France, kicked off 40 minutes late. Why?
Other results of my lifetime are a string of 0-0’s …
12 – Which team were involved in three goal-less draws, and can you name their opponents in each match?
13 – Of the 38 matches played, 7 matches ended in 1-0 scorelines, what other scoreline was also achieved 7 times?
14 – Two players scored hat-tricks in the 78 World Cup, both achieved against the same team. Can you name the two hat-trick scorers and the team on the receiving end?
15 – Which Dutch player scored for both sides in their “semi-final” win over Italy?
16 – Brazil complained about the poor state of the pitch at Mar del Plata in the first round, although one of the many divots probably saved them from an early exit, as the ball bounced off of a divot, just as which Spanish player was about to score a potential late winner, with just a defender on the line to beat?
Theme tune for something or other…
17 – The 1978 World Cup was the last tournament, Scotland were introduced to the strains of God Save the Queen. Who was the only Scottish player who appeared to be singing along? And which tune did Scotland use at the next World Cup in Spain?
18 – Apart from Scotland, which other two nations competing at the 78 World Cup, have since changed the tune for their national anthem?
19 – Who recorded Scotland’s official World Cup song “Ole Ola”?
20 – At Euro 96, Simply Red composed the official theme tune for the tournament called “We’re in this together”, which seemed to be on a constant loop before, during and after every match at that tournament. Which famous film score composer, wrote the official theme tune for Argentina 78?
21 – During the opening ceremony, Elton John performed the Argentinian national anthem on the piano. Who sang the words?
A) Kiki Dee
B) Lindsey de Paul
C) Montserrat Caballe
Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal? …
22 – Who was the English referee who booked the Peruvian goalkeeper for rugby tackling a Polish forward in the Polish half, and which northern town did he come from?
23 – What is the link between Swedish referee Ulf Eriksson, Don Masson of Scotland and Kazimierz Deyna of Poland?
24 – Frenchman Robert Wurtz refereed two matches in the 78 World Cup, but which highly controversial qualifying match did he referee, and what was the controversy?
25 – Brazil were denied an injury time winner against Sweden, when Welsh referee Clive Thomas blew for time as the ball was headed into the net, but what was the official reason given by FIFA, as to why Clive was relegated to linesman and 4th official duties only, for the rest of the World Cup?
Each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty …
26 – By far the most controversial match of the World Cup was the second round group decider between Argentina and Peru. Brazil’s 3-l win over Poland meant that Argentina needed to beat Peru by 4 clear goals, or by 3 goals, if they scored at least five. Brazil complained that Argentina had an unfair advantage as they knew exactly what result they needed against Peru to win the group. What were the two official reasons why all of Argentina’s group matches kicked off at 7.15pm local time, and with no other matches allowed to be played at the same time?
27 – There have been various allegations over the years that the outcome of this match was fixed, one of which involved an alleged visit to the Peruvian changing room either before the match or at half-time by which famous politician of the time?
28 – Why did David Coleman yell out “1-0” on two separate occasions during the first 20 minutes of this match?
Finally, a couple of random questions to make it up to 30:-
29 – Other than Norwich City fans, the supporters of which other club, one of whose longest serving players has been spotted in the crowd at an HMHB gig, would’ve been equally gutted at the outcome of the 1978 F.A.Cup Final, and why?
30 – Four years later at the 1982 World Cup in Spain, during the first round match between Brazil and U.S.S.R., amidst all the “trumpets and drums”, one of the musicians in the crowd makes a half decent stab at the bass riff of which HMHB song?
15 November 2019
lord leominster
Exxo, I look forward to your literary quiz and I will do some homework in preparation. I have already given you a clue as to where I think one line of questioning might lead. Even if someone dies the spot you mention is all yours. My mini-quiz is only a minor distraction to keep folk mildly amused for a few minutes, at most.
I did have Nick F. Knowles before Robert Mugabe shuffled off, but I might change that. I will have to have a think…rumours of a death that might end up not being exaggerated…Oh! I’ve just thought of another quiz question. That makes 4. Trouble is, it’s not biscuit related. I’ll have to see if I can manufacture a link.
15 November 2019
lord leominster
Sorry to step on your toes there, Mister Tubbs. I drafted the above before I saw your quiz go live. Ah, the beautiful game, about which I know very little. So please forgive me if I don’t participate but I look forward to seeing the answers, especially about the Argentina v Peru conspiracy.
15 November 2019
EXXO
Blimey, I thought since I have such distinct memories of acatually watching it all on telly in 1978 I’d do OK. And I was optimistic after I managed 3 out of 4 for Q1 (and had to think long & hard about two other players who I think only made WC debuts in 1982, alas) … but after that I had to wait until Q 14 before I saw answers I’d be prepared to hazard in the open… and then I’m only really sure about Q19, Q20 & Q 27, and can make guesses at 28, 29 & 30 which by the law of averages ought to contain a correct answer.
So yeah, I’d get between 4.75 and 5.75 out of 30, plus just a few guesses.
15 November 2019
transit full of keith
It’s a big fat zero for me – I was five at the time – but I prepare to be educated.
The only bell rung for me – and I think this must have been gleaned from BBC4 some hazy Friday night – is that the Scottish anthem in q19 baited England using the line “cos they didnae qualify”.
15 November 2019
mister tubbs
Sorry about that Exxo, I’ll try and work out some clues for some of the more difficult ones!
15 November 2019
transit full of keith
And I’ve just looked it up and that was a different song anyway.
15 November 2019
EXXO
Yeah, I remembered that the unoffcial one, much better, with the lyrics you mention, was the one that was a hit – but on looking it up I see that the official one managed two places higher in the Top Ten. My memories have been messed with by time because (i) the unofficial one that you refer to became such a massive terrace anthem (with different lyrics according to who your manager ending in “y” was and what you were going to win at Wembley), and (ii) the official one featured someone so utterly uncool for us at the time that you would have just totally ignored it and never mentioned it again. But I still remember it from quizzes where they hope the confusion will remain.
15 November 2019
mister tubbs
Hello again, here are some clues to most of the Friday quiz questions:-
1 – 2 Italians, 1 Brazilian and 1 Spaniard – not all of them got to play
2 – They were in the same qualifying group as France and Belgium
3 – he succeeded Keith Macklin at Yorkshire TV
4 – one of the commentators was anchorman for the BBC at the 1982 World Cup, one was better known as a water sports commentator, and the other was Scottish
6 – One was appearing as manager for the 4th consecutive world cup, the other one shares his surname with a former England manager
7 – All three managers’ teams were in the same first round group in 1978
8 – he was Austrian
9 – At the time of the world cup, he played for Ujpest Dozsa (probably not much help!)
10- Headed a memorable goal against England during the qualifiers
11- the headline in a tabloid newspaper the next day might’ve read “It’ll be all white on the night”
14- Both players also scored against Scotland
15- Drove the fastest milk cart in the west
16-Anagram of surname – SCORE NADA
17-These days is a regular TV pundit
18-Both tunes were changed following a coup
19-The chorus goes:- “Ole, Ole – Ole, Ola – We’re going to bring that World Cup back from over tha”
20-Best known for composing music for Westerns
22-His namesake is friends with Bill Oddie
23-Penalty
24-the match was played in England
26-One of the reasons was used in 1974, to justify West Germany playing their games earlier or later than any other games played on the same day, and the other reason involved the EBU
27-He hailed from that America
29-I only remember this, because I support the team in question
30-Song has evoked strong emotions during the Lux Familiar Cup.
I’ll provide the answers on Monday afternoon. Good luck!
15 November 2019
EXXO
Thanks – got a dead leg from kicking myself about how I let that Spaniard in #1 fade away from my memory scan, and mentally substituted a player from another song (same nationality, same position, later World Cup appearancess) into the relevant lyric instead.
15 November 2019
EXXO
Your clue to #22 was for some reason the one that really got me googling, and makes me realise that with all my knowledge of 1970’s football, referees other than Clive Thomas and Jack Taylor are a massive weak point. Mind you ‘The Mistakes of Clive Thomas’ could easily be my specuialist subject on ‘Mastermind’ one day, and I’m not even an Evertonian. Anyway, I just learned that the referee in question, hailing from by far the most horrible town in NE England, lived on a farm which he renamed ‘Law One’. Never realised referees were that easily amused.
Regarding #29, am I right in recalling that an Arsenal victory would have made you (instead of the Baggies) Liverpool supporters the following Wednesday?
15 November 2019
Cream cheese and chives
This is the King of Kwizzes. So many memories are coming back to me. Alas few of them are helping me answer the questions but I am enjoying a tremendous trip down memory lane.
Was the Umbro diamond sleeve trim the best of all sleeve trims?
Footballers being forced to wear shinnies spoiled the look of the socks round their ankles as well.
15 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
I had my Monsters of Rock moment in 1978, we have a strong contingent of Scots in our village and after the Peru game I foolishly thought that daubing ‘Peru, Peru, we all love you’ on the side of the Co-op was a good idea. It didn’t take long for me to crack when the local plod came knocking. Luckily it was only pump whitener and it came off easily, I got off with a caution, my folks were away Caravaning so I was quite lucky really especially as Rab Macmillan saw the funny side too.
15 November 2019
Flintlock
I’ve got 19 and 24.
I was 8 at the time, knew all of the words of both sides of the wrong answer to 19 and often attempted to recreate the controversial incident in 24 (with diamonds on my sleeves of course).
16 November 2019
EXXO
Oh yeah, on re-reading 24 the answer is way more obvious than I thought – I must have given up before I really tried yesterday, cos I didn’t recognise the name of that ref. Can now see moments from that match like it was yesterday, and now I can remember the sleeve pattern in question too, though too loud a branding for my tastes at the time and ever since. When I only had 3 out of 4 for Q.1 I did actually consider the miscreant of Q.24 as a possible trick answer, as his surname is of course mentioned twice in HMHB lyrics.
16 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Exxo – you’re correct about 29 – although I’ll have to keep quiet about that, as there appear to be one or two Foxes supporters on here! I’ve just noticed that Q.8 was also manager of Liverpool’s opponents that night.
@Cream Cheese and Chives – The umbro sleeve design was certainly quite revolutionary for the time, I preferred the Admiral version used by Norwich and Leeds and I think also by Leicester.
16 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Leicester City had Commissionaire type armlets on their first Admiral kit, they had that for 5 years until Jock Wallace introduced the Umbro masterpiece, the best City kit all time. Admiral was made in Wigston and used to have a seconds outlet where you could, if you so wished purchase a Motherwell shirt, 3 pairs of Southampton shorts and a full Wales tracksuit for a fiver.
16 November 2019
LUX INFERIOR
@ Mister Tubbs – A selfish request – any chance of delaying the publication of the answers to your superb quiz by a day? My weekend was a little too busy to devote sufficient time to dredging the old 70s footy memory banks, but a quiet Monday in the office should allow ample time to give it the attention it clearly deserves. I’ve been humming the ’78 World Cup theme (BBC one, if memory serves) repeatedly since you posted – second only to the ITV’s 1986 effort in the World Cup TV theme hall of fame. Thanks for triggering a lengthy bout of nostalgia.
18 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Lux Inferior – Sure, no problem – there’s no rush to finish the quiz. I’ll delay putting the answers up until at least tomorrow afternoon.
18 November 2019
mister tubbs
I don’t know if this will work or not – but if a picture appears underneath, it’s a picture clue to q.9 QUESTION 9
18 November 2019
11:19
18 November 2019
mister tubbs
That didn’t work, so here’s a you tube clip which hopefully works, which has picture clues which may or may not help identifying the managers in questions 6, 7 and 8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRduDm4Bl8M
18 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Was anyone at The Band-its gig?
18 November 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Yes Bobby.
(That’s me at 2:29)
What a great band….
https://youtu.be/J5mV7eWDmWc
18 November 2019
Exxo
Bah, why they didn’t film the songs when we were playing darts over the drummer? My superb check-out during Hell Raiser deserved a wider audience.
18 November 2019
Lux inferior
@ Mister Tubbs – I wouldn’t have minded skiving the past few hours at work so much if I’d been able to solve a few more of your quiz questions. Without recourse to either google or my ’78 World Cup sticker album (complete), I reckon I’ll be fortunate to have earned 15 of the 54 (I think) points available, perhaps nearer 20 if I struck lucky with a few of my guesses.
Let me know if I’m okay to post my efforts.
19 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Lux Inferior – By all means, you can put up your answers – 15 correct answers would be a very decent score, especially as this is from so long ago – There’s people on this site, who probably weren’t even born then!
I’ll put up all the answers tomorrow sometime, in case anyone else wants to put up their answers
19 November 2019
Lux inferior
Here you go then Mister Tubbs. Obviously quite a few gaps. Some were just too difficult to even hazard a guess at. Great quiz nonetheless.
1. Zoff, Rossi, Zico, Arconada
2. Netherlands
3. John Motson
4. D Coleman, A Weeks
5. C
6. Schon,
7. Bearzot, Hidalgo
8. Happel
10. Bettega
11. Snow
13. 2-1
14. Cubillas, Rensenbrink, Iran
17. Souness
21. Caballe
22. Jack Taylor
24. Wales v Scotland; penalty incorrectly awarded to Scotland
27. Kissinger
29. Not sure of team, but they would have qualified for the UEFA Cup if Arsenal had won the FA Cup
30. Chatteris
19 November 2019
EXXO
Well played, Lux. Only a few of your answers confirm my guesses, so if you do get about 15 right, you’re way ahead of me.
I’m giving nyself 6.75 without guess or google. A few more with clues, and I would of course have got the Wales v Scoland fiasco by now even without a clue, so I might claim 7.75. (How can anyone watch the video of that incident, whatever the sleeve trims, and not be in favour of some form of VAR?)
The ones I’ve got (without googling) that you haven’t are
18. Iran & ??(I’ll kick myself).
19 – Rod Stewart
20 Ennio Morricone. Fabulous, fabulous theme tune that I used to sing in the shower with “dang-diddle-diddle-dang-dang” type vocals.
Plus I got 3 out of 4 for number 1, before a clue took me to 4.
plus I got number 14. I can still picture Cubillas’ free kick without youtube.
And 27 I found the easiest question, as sadly it’s the fix and the terror of the Argentinian regime that keeps the tournament most in our minds these days, though I’ve never thought Kissinger was in on the fix.
My vague recollections of 29 turned out to be true when I checked up – Cov would have qualified for the UEFA Cup if Arsenal had won the FA Cup and Liverpool had become champions of Europe for the second time the following Wednesday at that Wembley (which I seem to recall they did).
19 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Poor old Cov, Done out of European football twice by Liverpool. We’re still laughing.
19 November 2019
EXXO
Of course I’m mixing up the fabulous World Cup Grandstand 1978 theme tune, the “dang-diddle-diddle-dang-dang, ding, dang-diddle-diddle-dang-dang, ding” one and the Morricone one (which although I’ve answered it in more than one quiz over the years, I might never have heard it till about 5 minutes ago).
But Mick – Kenny Dalglish’s Wembley aplomb enabled an extra English club to have a roller-coaster run to the quarter finals of European glory; ’twas the Tractor Boys i beating Arsenal (them as in “the big six plus Arsenal”, or as in “the top four plus Arsenal, Spurs and United”) who denied Coventry’s 1977-78 season a fitting climax (little joke there for the vintage tractor afficionadoes).
20 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Bother, if I pass comment on that one, it labels me a farmboy! Ah well, in for a penny…
20 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Liverpool’s Heysel shenanigans scuppered Coventry’s ECWC qualification by winning the FA Cup in 1987. Hilariously, the Sky Blues reward for the European ban was a half-arsed attempt to get both English and Scottish Cup Winners in a sort of Anglo Scottish Challenge Cup affair, Sillet’s army were paired with St Mirren, the first leg in Cov was that bad the whole charade was scrapped. The trophy, bizarrely, ended up in the General Wolfe pub on the Foleshill Road for a time. PUSB
20 November 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Have you short-changed yourself there Exxo? You seem to have got a few more than 6.75-7.75. I was working on the basis that a point could be awarded for every single correct answer so that, for example, 4 points were available for Q.1, 1 point for Q.2, 2 points for Q.3, 6 points for Q.4,etc (total available overall = 54).
Re. that ’78 World Cup theme – couldn’t agree more. As stated previously, second only to ITV’s ’86 effort in the list of greatest ever World Cup TV themes.
20 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Lux Inferior – well done, I make it that you got 20 pts, (I’ve given you 1pt for the 78 FA Cup Final, getting the right reason).
Q3-Motson made his debut 4 years earlier
Q11-the France-Hungary delayed kick off was nothing to do with the weather, or the state of the pitch
Q13-You were one goal out with the most popular score-line
Q21-As far as I know Caballe didn’t have any role at the 78 World Cup
Q22-I think Jack Taylor had retired by then, although he did referee in the qualifying rounds
Q30-Chatteris was knocked out by the song in question, in controversial circumstances, it seems the prick barriers weren’t strong enough to keep Dr.Kissinger at bay!
@Exxo – I’ve got you down for 11pts. Re the Kissinger thing, I’m not sure there was any evidence that he was involved in the alleged fix. From what I’ve read, and heard over the years, of the Peruvian players who were aware he was in the changing room, they reckoned all he said was something along the lines of “Good luck”, rather than anything more sinister like “that’s a nice white shirt with the red stripe, be a shame if it ended up in the Atlantic” there’s been so many different allegations about how it was fixed, we’ll probably never know what actually happened!
@Bobby Svarc – Re the Coventry being done out of Europe twice, in fairness in 78 Liverpool did their bit by beating Bruges in the European Cup Final, but it was immaterial then as Arsenal had cocked up against Ipswich a few days earlier. As a Coventry fan, it was very satisfying in 1980, when Arsenal lost the Cup Final to west Ham on the Saturday, and then lost the Cup Winners Cup Final to Valencia a few days later, and if I remember correctly, about a week after that they got hammered at Middlesbrough to miss out on the final UEFA Cup place as well.
20 November 2019
LUX INFERIOR
Cheers Tubbsy. I’m chuffed with that. You’ve brought back a shed load of memories and had me humming the Beeb theme tune repeatedly. The sticker album will get a viewing later, as will You Tube clips from the time, in particular Nelinho’s outrageous goal in the third place play-off.
I could possibly quibble over a potential half point in relation to Q.13 – seems there were six 2-1 scorelines and seven of 3-1. However, one of the 3-1 outcomes was in the final; the score was 1-1 at 90 minutes, which is the score on which bookies would settle. So, in theory, we could say there were 6 of each.
Do you think the boys would cover a World Cup theme tune at an appropriate time/venue?
20 November 2019
Transit full of keith
@Lux, Last June in London they did a quick burst of the England 1982 effort “This Time (we’ll get it right)”
20 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
A great quiz Mr Tubbs. BTW You may like this model that I did. Of course, I felt quite wretched until it left my studio. In return, I received the CDs ‘Sent To Coventry’ and ‘Sent To Cov Too’.
https://ibb.co/wCFjcr1
20 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Lux Inferior – I’ll give you that extra 1/2 pt for q.13, I remember in 1986, I thought I’d won a few quid when Belgium knocked out USSR, but the bookies said they’d only pay out on the score at 90 minutes. I’d like to see HMHB cover the West German song from possibly 1986 – I can’t find it on you tube – it was a very slow number, led by a German version of Julio Iglesias, really dire stuff!
@Bobby Svarc – Great model, that brings back some memories. Love your other models of Filbert Street. I think I only went there twice with Coventry, one of them was a 5-1 hammering at Christmas time, I remember a really good Everards pub on one of the side roads near the ground, can’t remember what it was called, but you wouldn’t want to wear a Cov replica shirt over your jumper round there!
20 November 2019
mister tubbs
Here are the answers to last Friday’s Quiz:-
1 – The 4 players mentioned in HMHB songs that were in the squads for the World Cup were:- Rossi, Zoff, Zico and Arconada, although Arconada didn’t get to play
2 – Holland were the only team Argentina played on the way to winning the World Cup, that failed to qualify for the next World Cup
3 – Martin Tyler was commentating at his 1st World Cup, and his 1st match was Tunisia-v-Mexico
4 – The 3 commentators appearing at their last World Cup, and their final match were:- David Coleman(Argentina-v-Holland), Alan Weeks (brazil-v-Poland) and Arthur Montford (scotland-v-Holland)
5 – In the Argentina-Hungary math, Gerald Sinstadt complained that he couldn’t read the black and white Argentinian numbers on the back of their blue and white shirts, he also didn’t know why there was a minute’s silence before the game, and he also complained about the host broadcaster identifying Norbert Alonso as scoring the winning goal, after Sinstadt had correctly called the scorer as Daniel Bertoni
6 – Helmut Schoen(west Germany) and Georg Ericsson(Sweden) were the 2 managers who also coached the same teams in the previous World Cup
7 – the 3 managers at the 78 World Cup, who also managed the same teams in 1982 were Cesar Menotti(Argentina), Enzo Bearzot(Italy) and Michel Hidalgo(France)
8 – Ernst Happel was the Dutch manager, and Vienna is the city where the national stadium was named after him, when he died
9 – Andras Toeroecsik was the other Hungarian player sent off in the closing minutes of their opening match
10 – Roberto Bettega was the Italian who hit the bar 3 times in the match with Hungary
11 – The Hungary-France match was delayed for 40 minutes, because both teams turned up in their white away strips, and France ended up wearing the green and white stripes of a local club in Mar del Plata
12 – West Germany were involved in 3 goal-less draws against Poland, Tunisia and Italy
13 – 1-0 shared the most frequent score-line with 3-1, if you include the final which was 1-1 at 90 minutes.
14 – Robert Rensenbrink and Teofilo Cubillas both scored hat-tricks against Iran
15 – Ernie Brandts scored for both teams in the Holland-Italy match
16 – Julio cardenosa was the Spaniard who missed a sitter against Brazil (divot or no divot, he should still have scored)
17 – Graeme Souness was seen singing God Save the Queen before Scotland’s win over Holland – 4 years later he would have been singing along to Scotland the Brave
18 – Tunisia and Iran are the other two finalists from 78, who have since changed their national anthems
19 -Rod Stewart recorded “Ole, Ola”
20 – Ennio Morricone recorded the official theme tune for Argentina ’78 (a slightly more jaunty number than the one Mick Hucknall did for Euro 96) (it can be heard at 59.50 on this you tube clip) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wig-ylchN-c
21 – this is the trick question – Remember this is 1978, with Argentina ruled by a ruthless, right wing dictator, and in those days it wasn’t common place for celebrities to appear at opening ceremonies, so sadly no gig for Elton John at the River Plate Stadium – instead the 12 inch version of the Argentinian national anthem was performed by a bog standard army band (it can be heard on the above clip at 41.30 minus Elton John)
22 – Pat Partridge was the English referee who booked the Peruvian goalie. I always remembered him as coming from Cockfield, Co.Durham, although I’ll accept Billingham as well.
23 – Swedish referee Ulf Eriksson awarded the only 2 penalties at the 78 World Cup, which weren’t scored. Don Masson’s penalty was saved by Ramon Quiroga(Peru) and Kazimierz Deyna’s penalty was saved by Ubaldo Fillol(Argentina)
24 – French ref Robert Wurtz awarded Scotland a penalty for hand-ball by Joe Jordan in the decisive qualifier against Wales
25 – According to FIFA, the reason why Clive Thomas wasn’t allowed to referee any more games at the World Cup, was because he held his head in his hands when a Swedish defender almost put through his own-goal.
26 – the official reasons why all of Argentina’s group games kicked off at 7.15pm, were firstly, as in West Germany in 1974, it was agreed that any other games being played at the same time would suffer at the turnstiles, if the host nation was also playing, and secondly, the main European TV companies wanted all the games played at prime time in Europe, as had been the case in Mexico 1970, but Argentina insisted that their games at least, should be played at a time when people could either attend the match or watch it on television, rather than miss it through work or school
27 – Dr.Henry Kissinger was the politician alleged to have visited the Peruvian changing rooms, along with the Argentinian president, before or during their match with Argentina
28 – David Coleman called out 1-0 twice in the early stages of the Argentina-Peru match, firstly when Juan-Jose Munante of Peru had a shot that came back off the inside of the post, with Coleman thinking it had gone in, and secondly when Mario Kempes scored Argentina’s 1st goal
29 – Coventry City fans would’ve been rooting for Arsenal in the 78 FA Cup Final, as an Arsenal victory combined with a Liverpool win in the European Cup final, would’ve given Coventry the final place in the following seasons UEFA Cup, with Arsenal going into the Cup Winners Cup, and Liverpool into the European Cup.
30 – A very brief rendition of Everything’s AOR can seemingly be heard during the Brazil-USSR match in the 1982 World Cup – I don’t known if Neil was at that match?
20 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Mr Tubbs: Ha Ha, that sounds like The Huntsman. I think that game was on a Sunday afternoon because of Christmas shopping. You took the lead if I remember, Lineker got a hat trick.
20 November 2019
Lux inferior
@ TFOK – Alas, it appears no clip exists on You Tube. Just discovered the guys who wrote that also penned the classic ‘Head Over Heels In Love’ for Kevin Keegan.
@ Mister Tubbs – Ta for the extra half point. Rather annoyingly, I had ‘Scotland the Brave’ written down as the answer to the second part of Q.17, but neglected to post it.
Here’s that wonderfully evocative BBC World Cup Grandstand theme from ‘78. Interestingly, Jocky WIlson, recently mentioned on this site, appears at 0:22…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2c__vAtx_-o
20 November 2019
Lux inferior
Jocky Wilson, even.
20 November 2019
EXXO
Ooh look. A chance for Cov to realise their revenge on Robson’s rogerers in the 2nd round, and earn a home-and-away tie with Brum in the 3rd … or an everybody needs good neighbours tie with Leicester or a bit of country practice near Stroud.
20 November 2019
Bobby Svarc
Coventry had their biggest game of the season in the Birmingham Senior Cup v Nuneaton. The Boro’ won 3-0
20 November 2019
EXXO
Anyway, thanks to Mister T. for an providing an enjoyable memory test for some us. It’s a shame that Scotland supporters like Parsfan haven’t been around over the last week to give their memories and insights.
If you’d asked me to add one question relating to that 1978 World Cup, it would have been the following, with its very self-indulgent pre-amble:
I remember in the early-to-mid-80’s some of our subbuteo-inspired generation were finishing college, moving to the big city and looking for football clubs to join but finding them existing otions somewhat lacking in irony and awareness, as well as full of Tories. So they were starting Sunday League teams with daft names inspired by puns on world football. In my own circles, the teams had to be named after Eastern Bloc outfits and Soviet concepts, just to annoy the Tories.
I have already told the story on here of how John Peel three or four times read out on his show in 1987 the call-outs and results of tournaments that I organised in London for some such teams – I remember a team called Surreal Madrid were very pissed off that they did not fulfil the entry criteria, whereas the likes of SK Sputnik Norwood, Lokomotiv Wandle, Dynamo Kerala, and Glasnost Central most certainly did. Nigel Blackwell almost but not quite was part of a Probe Plus team who said they would come down to one of our tournaments in May 87, but they literally missed the bus. Pity, because the standard was not high and I would have loved to see Nigel’s team presented with an ornate samovar by a very emotional Soviet ambassador back at our pub after the event.
Anyway, the question is quite simple: during all this, I heard of a Sunday League team calling Racing Fencamfamine, an outfit which had started after the 1978 World Cup. Why had they chosen this name?
21 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Exxo – my dad takes more than a dozen different pills and other things for all his various problems, some of them have names not dissimilar to Fencamfamine, so as a guess, has it got something to do with Willie Johnston?
21 November 2019
EXXO
That’s right, it was an Edinburgh Sunday League team named after the active ingredient of the cold remedy (Reactivan)to which the West Brom winger had become accustomed, but which got him sent home after the first match. the SFA had never even wanted him to go in the first place:
“Johnston’s antics at the Hawthorns are the stuff of typical Seventies Maverick legend. He once playfully kicked a referee up the arse. He took a swig from a fan’s can of beer while waiting to take a corner. And over the course of two matches, he successfully negotiated the purchase of a greenhouse from a supporter stationed near the touchline. But he was rarely in the sort of bother he found himself in up north. In addition, his form was such that by 1977, and with the World Cup finals looming, the Scotland manager, Willie Ormond, was prepared to give him an international recall. “You’re the best winger in England,” Ormond told Johnston. “I want you in my team but the SFA doesn’t want you in the squad. Prove them wrong.”
(extract from https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2008/dec/23/rangers-celtic )
So Johnston became a cult hero among the amateur leaguers who (I’m told) will grab anything from the medicine cabinet on a Sunday morning if it has any prospect of dragging them out of their Saturday night sloth. (I’m told) that the Sudafed with pseudoephydrine is the best pre-match pep available in Boots these days – the same stuff that got Maradona sent home in 1994 in fact. Works pre-gig too (I’m told).
I know no more about the Edinburgh parks team in question but I imagine them managing to get hold of the Argentine national colours as also worn by Racing Club, one of Argentina’s mightiest clubs, because one of their uncles owns a sports shop (the Edinburgh lot, not Racing).
21 November 2019
dr desperate
The amphetamine-like Fencamfamine was also responsible for Eddie Merckz’ expulsion from the 1969 Giro d’Italia, after he tested positive for it at Savona. The month-long suspension was later overturned by the FICP, amid allegations from his camp that The Cannibal had been sabotaged for refusing to throw the race.
(See William Fotheringham’s biog ‘Merckz: Half Man, Half Bike’.)
21 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
John Osbourne used to have a fag during the game, queer lot them Baggies.
21 November 2019
Pirx The Purist
@Exxo,
When Fantasy Football started being the rage in the 90s, the league organised via The Guardian boasted a team called ‘Apparent Madrid’.
21 November 2019
Pirx The Purist
@Bobby Svarc,
I remember seeing a photo of him from his only LOI game for Shamrock Rovers in 1978, standing between the posts with a fag on.
21 November 2019
BOBBY SVARC
@PTP: I think this is WBA, very funny.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ec/1b/43/ec1b43cab7abea630f671da1bb2bf724.jpg
21 November 2019
Lord leominster
@Dr D. I once went for a bike ride with William Fotheringham. He’s a charming fellow. I’ve also been for a bike ride with Shane Sutton.
21 November 2019
parsfan
Hi @exxo,
Sorry, I did mean to but never quite got round to reading the whole thing. It’s often that way on my phone for long posts, “I’ll read it on a proper screen later” I think to myself but, apart from Roger’s reviews, seldom do. I was also slightly put off by lack of connection to the band after the first question – I’m sure someone was told off about that a couple of months ago.
So, apologies to @Mister Tubbs for not giving it a go – with a bit of thought and effort I’m sure I would have scored more points than Scotland (even if not proportionately from those available).
As for my memories, it was my first full world cup. I only saw the final in 1974 and didn’t appreciate all that went on before. Three and a half years later, after the Wales game at Anfield, I couldn’t understand how that got us into the final. Never mind the thought I don’t remember having that we would have been one game away from being World Champions.
By the time it came round it all made sense and I had every expectation of making it through the group stage. Two easy games then a fairly meaningless one against the Dutch to see who played whom in the quarters. It all started so well…
A quick question while people’s heads are still in 1978 and before the next quiz rolls in.
– Which other country took to the field in that World Cup wearing a Scotland strip?
(Going by the answers I don’t think this was asked last week)
PS TLDR
21 November 2019
Lux inferior
@ Mister Tubbs – re. comment 539…is this the one you’re referring to? Is that Harald ‘Toni’ Schumacher (not mentioned in song, but apparently namechecked at the 2017 Worthing gig) on trumpet?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tffACIijQ8k
I think any cover of this would be a definite moshpit killer.
21 November 2019
EXXO
Might as well do a quick one for a blank, dank Friday heading to Headington. An easy one, then an easy one to search (with a bonus sub-question – 2a), then two tough indirectly guess-then-googleable ones, and finally an almost-impossible-unless-you-happen-to recall-me-mentioning-it one.
1. Name the two obvious Oxford graduates who are cursed by mentions in HMHB lyrics. One has yet to meet his maker. But apart from the two obvious ones, can you name any more? (I can’t).
2. Twenty years ago (1999) HMHB played the Bullingdon Arms just a few strides from tonight’s much more major venue. The cover that night was a song from another twenty years earlier (1979), which of course was referenced in another HMHB live favourite. What songs?
2(a) What linked the support band that night with tonight’s support band?
3. What, in Oxford links Blackwell with the “mulch of the Barton” and with a famous pavement-owner?
4. Which Nigel is a regular at Blackwell’s, where he probably doesn’t get given a glass of limeade? This is according to an interview in the paper this year which marked a 140th anniversary,
5. What & who links a scene in a novel set in Oxford with cricket and various lyrics of HMHB?
22 November 2019
Pirx The Purist
@Bobby.
Yep, that’s the photo. Looks like WBA to me too, now.
22 November 2019
dirk hofman
Dowland was there, long gone now .. Mr Blair, not Lionel .. Howard Marks, the hat shop was close to the get in door of the theatre and I think (Angus) Deayton was there (who?) .. Don’t know about the ’99 gig .. Blackwells is the bookshop, Nigel one of the family owners that didn’t want to sell ?? .. J the Obs. Far from the MCC .. must be a point on there somewhere ..
23 November 2019
Exxo
How does 9 points sound? You score 7 poonts for question one alone (1 point for one of the two obvious ones, and 2 each for 3 I hadn’t thought of)
Then I’ve been generous in giving you a point each for getting things rolling on Q
4 and 5, though much remains to be unravelled there for more points.
23 November 2019
dirk hofman
.. thanks I best get googleboxing then .. maybe of interest – there’s a memorial at B’head Priory tmrw remembering the Thetis disast and the 99/100 deaths. It’s linked with today’s T for Toxteth Day of the Dead malarkey ..
23 November 2019
mister tubbs
@Parsfan – Re your question about the country wearing a Scotland strip in 1978, I’m completely stumped – I can remember the Iran goalkeeper wearing the jumper he swapped with Alan Rough for Iran’s match against Peru, but I’m sure the rest of the team didn’t?
@Lux Inferior – That’s the infamous German world cup song I was thinking of – thanks for finding that. They’d have to bring in the fifth biscuit to cover for Schumacher on the trumpet
@Exxo – I’ll try to answer a few of your quiz questions, but I’m right out of my depth there, just a few unlikely guesses – Q1 – Willie Rushton and Wendy Wimbush Q2 – Float On by the Floaters must’ve been around the late 70’s, but I’m not sure that HMHB would do that as a cover! Q4 – Nigel Starmer-Smith
23 November 2019
Transit full of keith
Thatcher is the other “obvious” one, I guess?
Thomas Hardy wrote about “the mulch of the barton” in Tess, Jude the Obscure was set in Christminster, a thinly disguised Oxford, and a famous pavement owner could be the Duke of Westminster, and here I give up ‘cos it doesn’t quite add up to an answer.
23 November 2019
Transit full of keith
I’ve also unearthed two Biscuit mentions who started at Oxford but didn’t graduate. One because of an attack of gout, one expelled. Anyone?
23 November 2019
EXXO
Some good efforts there, Keith. The other obvious graduate is indeed the Thatchatorship (one point), and a point each for identifying individuall elements of answers 3 & 5 though still much unravelling remains.
23 November 2019
Parsfan
Tubbs, spot on. That’s why I specifically said “a Scotland strip”. Though I suppose the whole team weren’t wearing it.
24 November 2019
EXXO
Morning quizzers.
Well didn’t you do well with Q1? You got the two obvious ones, as PMs tend to go to Oxford, and at least three more besides from Dirk.
@ Mr. Tubbs, Rushton contributed to satirical student publications in Oxford (which evolved into Private Eye) without attending the University, and for Wendy Wimbush’s education I can find no details (anyone?)
But I’m especially fascinated to find out who Keith’s pair of drop-outs are.
Questions 2, 3 & 4 were meant to be googled.
Question 2 – does nobody use Gez’s site any more?
Question 3 – the pavement-owner has been identified but no more – notice that I capitalised “Barton.”
Question 4 – the Oxford company in question has been identified, but so far nobody has googled using all the clues in the question.
Question 5 – the right novel has been mentioned. The only site that could help you get any further is this very one.
26 November 2019
EXXO
I was using “google” in its widest sense there, as in “search on the internet.” Gez’s site does not seem to be used often enough to show up much on google – but you can just go straight to it if you know where it is.
26 November 2019
EXXO
Doh, yes, of course, PMs go to Oxford even if they drop out. Well played, Keith.
26 November 2019
dr desperate
2. The cover at The Bullingdon Arms in 1999 was Joy Division’s ‘Transmission’, referenced in ‘JDOGs’ with “Dance, dance, dance, dance…”
2(a). The support that night was the duo Frigid Vinegar, who played their single ‘Dogmonaut 2000′ (twice). Support last week was the duo Dogminder.
4. The Guardian’s Literary Hub in 2016 described the philosopher Nigel Warburton as one of Blackwells’ best customers.
26 November 2019
Transit full of keith
My dropouts were:
– William Pitt the Elder (gout)
– Vashti Bunyan (expelled for skiving off a Fine Art degree to do music)
There may be others.
26 November 2019
EXXO
Fine googing, John. Didn’t get Vashti Bunyan though of course she is parallelled by Nick Drake who I knew had dropped out of that Oxbridge but had to check which one (Cambers). And I’m glad nobody got us searching Oxford’s honorary degrees (eg the Faraday the Engineer).
Dr. D scores a total of ten points for nailing questions 2, 2(a) and 4. Mis-spelling Dogmanaut was treated generously by the officials back at Bletchley Park (or wherever they are), even though it neglects the play on ‘dogma.’
Dogmanaut 2000 got a bit of airplay on The evening session, and in gratitude Mr. Vinegar was a bit of a tart, recording a version called Lamacqmanaut 2000:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0QZNfsePQQ
Q4. Nigel Warburton interviews authors at Blackwell’s (it had an apostrophe last time I was there, when incidentally it was run by a Nigel Blackwell) on the first Saturday of every month. Our Nigel should write a book just so for that hypothetical occasion alone.
The linkage in Q.3 has something in common with that of Q.4 and has not mu(l)ch do with HMHB, unlike Q.5
26 November 2019
EXXO
Soz – fine googling Keith I meant.
26 November 2019
EXXO
And I’m sure misspell had a hyphen when I last misspelt something.
26 November 2019
dirk hofman
I don’t think I was on track for no.5 .. Jude the Obscure is a pub in Jericho, a district of Oxford where T Hardy had lived and worked, architecting ??, Far from the MCC is their cricketing team ..
26 November 2019
Alice van der meer
You can officially call me thick, because I’ve played against Far From the MCC, and not twigged it was the Jude’s team…
26 November 2019
EXXO
I thought they started the club at Jude the Obscure in Jericho in 1997, then moved in 2002 along with legendary landlord Reilly to a new place – Far from the Madding Crowd in Friar’s Entry, off Magdalen Street (both feature in Mrs Exxford’s 2012 National Shite Day video of course). Have they moved back to Jericho?
This has nothing to do with the answer to Q.5 – a question which, as I suggested in the first place, is a bit unfair cos even in the couple of times I’ve hinted at it on here (eg in the middle of the On Passing Lilac Urine song thread in 2012) I haven’t really explained fully what Mr. B had told me about the whole Hardy thing. I’ll give the answers tomorrow afternoon.
Q.3 is much more gettable and I won’t be the only gig-goer who passed the Barton in question on the way to the gig on Friday.
27 November 2019
EXXO
“Tomorrow afternoon” became “this afternoon” while I did the italic thingies there.
27 November 2019
Alice van der meer
Good question. I know Noell died some years ago, and Far From the Madding Crowd has been a Jamaican restaurant for several years now. FFTMCC are still about as we played them, I think, in 2018. If you really want to know I can probably ask someone…
27 November 2019
dr desperate
3. The Duke of Westminster’s Grosvenor group is developing 900 homes in Barton Park, in partnership with Oxford City Council and the contractor Blackwell.
27 November 2019
EXXO
Indeed. Young Hugh is increasing his estates by an average of about one kilometre of narrow path per week at various sites around the UK and Blackwells are shifting much mulch for him.
Dr. D is up to 14 points and his lead seems unassailable unless Dirk can diggle something up for Q.5 by 2pm today.
27 November 2019
dirk hofman
Following your clue Exxo, early days channel four docu. Brierley and Arlott conversation about Hardy influencing NB ..?
27 November 2019
EXXO
That’s right, and your bonus points for the quite interesting info about the FFTMCC ensure no need for a tie-break.
The Bard told me that the master commentator’s comments on Hardy on that programme, and in particular Arlott’s evocation of first reading the spine-chilling moment (set in Oxford of course) when Jude discovers the lifeless bodies of his children, was a pivotal moment in getting him (Nigel) reading the kind of literature that would have such an influence on various songs, with their borrowings from Hardy and otehr literary sources.
27 November 2019
EXXO
In a week that sees the birthdays of great ironists like Swift, Sterne and Twain, let’s celebrate Nigel Blackwell’s literary inspiration. Twelve questions, only one mentioning Hardy and none requiring him as an answer. Do not post any answers, guesses or hints before 1pm on TUESDAY.
1. The names of twentieth century writers of war fiction, fantasy and science fiction (or titles of their works) are used by Blackwell to satirise the immature tastes of ‘prog rock’ fans and their ilk. Name four or more writers (or titles) which are used in this way in at least two different songs.
2. Which two HMHB song titles play on works of late seventeenth century literature?
3. In which twenty-first century HMHB song is a line from an eighteenth century poem deployed alongside a biblical mis-translation?
4. In which HMHB song are there direct and indirect borrowings from poets from three consecutive centuries?
5. Which song might a confused critic expect to feature Abba twice, on three CD’s?
6. I can think of three instances where modified lines from Shakespeare have made their way into Mr. Blackwell’s lyrics, but only one where this is not via Thomas Hardy. Which line of which song is this?
7. Which song features a substantial quotation from one of the great works of medieval English literature?
8. The quotation referred to in Q.7 may be just about the longest single literary quotation in all the work of HMHB, but which other quotation in which other HMHB song rivals it in for length, being a relatively lengthy extract from a mid-19th-century polemic? Who is the original author and what is the simple point being made by the narrator of the song in using this extract?
9. Which famous literary quote in HMHB was first spoken – as most of us know it – by Alec Guinness, in his first job after the war?
10. Which author, whose work is alluded to in the title and lyrics of a recent HMHB song, married Oscar Wilde’s ex-girlfriend? Which great film would never be remembered today if she had had her way?
11. Name two HMHB songs which in their entirety can be said to be parodies of single, well-known literary works.
12. Which song alludes to (but does not mention) an author who sounds like a penis and to another author’s novel focusing on not getting to use a penis?
29 November 2019
dr desperate
Ah now, this is more my speed. I reckon I’ve got 10½ out of 12 (including that all-important incorrect question).
With any luck I’ll wake up shouting the answers to the missing 1½ before Tuesday afternoon.
30 November 2019
transit full of keith
Another good quiz. If each bit of a question is worth a point I think I’ve got 12 or 13 out of 19. If it’s 12 points only and whole answer only, I’m only on 5 or 6, I think. Most of them gleaned from too much time on this site, rather than my past degree in Eng.Lit.
2 December 2019
EXXO
Email me your answers Dr. D & Keith, and I’ll tell you what’s right and what’s not, without giving any extra hints. And of course I’ll confirm to the assembled throng who is winning.
2 December 2019
EXXO
Ooh it’s close. Yes Keith, I’m marking out of 19, and after receiving emails from two leading contestants, the current score is 16-15.
As I anticipated, the contestant who has been longest on this site has the narrow advantage over the one who has the Eng. Lit degree, and yet the question that seemed to require the most “practical criticism” skills was the one which was answered with more aplomb by the medical doctor, using his crossword-solving skills.
Email replies on the way to both.
2 December 2019
dr desperate
Do we have a winner?
(Asking for the assembled throng.)
3 December 2019
Lord LeominsteR
It won’t be me. I did my homework but to no avail. I have a recurring anxiety dream (based on a real life experience) of sitting in an exam hall looking at the exam paper and not having a clue. That’s how I feel with this one. 1 mark if I’m lucky. Oh what it must be to be book smart.
3 December 2019
EXXO
Well Dr. D, out of the 19 available points, you are currently 16.75 to 14 ahead (apologies to Keith for mis-counting his total yesterday). The .75 was for getting the right answer with that last one you sent me this morning .. but for the wrong reasons (I only asked which song, so really you ought to have got the whole point, but you know what they say, never show your workings…)
BUT I thought it would be more eciting to spin it out till tomorrow by saying that 20 points are now available to anyone who answers the only question that neither of you got by 1pm tomorrow (Wednesday).
That question is number 11 – “Name two HMHB songs which in their entirety can be said to be parodies of single, well-known literary works.” Both of you correctly identified Arthur’s Farm as a parody of Animal Farm. But neither of you got the other one that I was thinking of, so it must be worth 20 points.
3 December 2019
featureless tv producer steve
Does “The Hokey-Cokey” qualify as a single, well-known literary work?
4 December 2019
Lord leominster
And were Trumpton and Camberwick Green parodies of London and Paris in A Tale Of Two Cities? Thought not.
4 December 2019
Chris The Siteowner
Some of the observations which made up this quiz should be noted against the songs, I feel!
4 December 2019
EXXO
I suppose I always knew that it would come down to the “what is literature, anyway?” debate, as it did almost right from the start in those high-ceilinged, many-storied rooms of yore, eh Keith? Our own excuse for a ‘course’ did not answer this question, so off we went to find a professor from elsewhere who would dare to try (he had not yet written his major book about it, which would have helped). He had more questions than answers, but through them we demolished definition after definition: literature could not be defined as fiction; literature could not be defined as imaginative; literature could not be defined as writing in a contrived style removed from the everyday (as it had been by those pesky Russian formalists); literature could not be defined as prioritising style over subject matter, or by having ‘better style’ than a mere pragmatic approach to conveying information would demand; it could not even necessarily be said that literature is anything intended to be thought of as literature. Yes, songs were literature – mostly bad literature, we decided, because we could dissect them and deconstruct them and criticise and yes, parody them, and they could rise to high art occasionally. HMHB did not yet exist.
Was a bus ticket literature? Became a key question in our discussions. Does it tell a story? Does it intrigue us? Could it be studied by future generations, when perhaps there would be no more bus tickets, to tell us things about how the users of that language saw their world, and how they saw language? What if it were the bus ticket on the last journey we took with a loved one? The bus ticket for the last bus away from a town that was bombed? It did not intrigue most of us, but the fact that we saw that it could, and probably would, intrigue someone one day and possibly even have value to them, meant we had to leave open the possibility that somebody somewhere could consider that bus ticket (especially the terms and conditions of carriage) a work of literature.
In the end, literature had to be anything that anyone valued as literature, and different people value different things.
But, conveniently for me, we did not evolve any definition of a ‘well-known literary text.’ This would probably not include a bus ticket. But would it include The Hokey-Cokey? A strong argument could be made for ‘yes’. But is Petty Sessions a parody of The Hokey-Cokey? No, it just uses the comic tune – phew, no points for Steve and Dr. D’s lead remains intact. But wait a minute, what about that bit of The Hokey-Cokey in ITMA? “You put your input in, your output out…” Definite parody there (and the parody is certainly richly entertaining and therefore has great valued to some of us) … but the whole HMHB song doesn’t do that in its entirety, so no points there either. And nor is Dr. D’s second answer – Footprints – because that isn’t in its entiretyparodying the terrible (but certainly well-known and arguably literary) Footsteps in the Sand text.that song also parodies The End by the Doors, of course, as well as having an intro which probably parodies something else, something velvety in texture.
So 20 points still going.
4 December 2019
dr desperate
There are hundreds of alphabet books dating back to the mid-15th century, originally on vellum protected by a sheet of transparent horn and known as hornbooks. The 1742 ‘Child’s New Plaything’ contained rhyming couplets under woodcuts of each letter, a format followed by ‘The Merry Cobler and his Musical Alphabet’, from around 1800. It includes the line ‘H is an Hedge, Out of which we cut Sticks, if we’re not analysing Strava’ (not really).
‘The Referee’s Alphabet’ parodies the style in its entirety.
https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/the-merry-cobler-and-his-musical-alphabet-ca-1800
4 December 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Does ‘What is literature, anyway?’ mean that we should turn a blind eye to the fact that ‘First they came’ was part of a speech rather than conventional literature?
4 December 2019
EXXO
Tremendous effort there John. HMHB songs parodying entire genres will definitely be the quiz theme one day and you’re already ahead of the game there.
Anyway, you win, and we’ll call it 17-14.
Answers:
1. (i) Lord of the Rings and (ii) Michael Moorcock in Dickie Davies Eyes.
(iii) Sven Hassell & (iv) a title which parodies Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot (more probably than I, Claudius in I, Trog.
2.(a) Paradise Lost (You’re The Reason Why) from Milton’s Paradise Lost, 1667.
(b) He Who Would Valium Take from He Who Would Valiant BeJohn Bunyan, 1684).
3. Surging out of Convalescence uses the line about “heartbroken maidens on joyless beds” from George Crabbe’s The Borough, as also used in Benjamin Britten’s opera Peter Grimes and follows them directly with “for those whose souls the iron has entered,” an archaic figure of speech which came into usage for a couple of centuries through a mis-translation in Coverdale’s psalms (1535).
4. Depressed Beyond Tablets has language from Blake C18, and Owen C20 – in which Owen is alluding to Shelley C19.
5. The only somewhat cryptic in my quiz question refers to the rhyme scheme of the Wordsworth sonnet known commonly as Upon Westminster Bridge with the rhyme scheme ABBA ABBA CD CD CD.
6. see below.
7. Gubba Look-a-Likes features the lengthy “town pigs” extract from the C14 Vision of Piers Plowman.
8. Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not includes a lengthy extract from Richard Wagner’s Art and Revolution, 1849.
Dr. D. tells us that “The narrator is stating Nigel’s own view that making music is not all about making money”. Very true, and Keith in my view gets even closer to the spirit of it, saying that “he’s mocking striking an anti-commercial pose in order to promote an album.” But to me neither explains why a source from 150 years earlier has been chosen. I would say that the implication is that the protagonist of the song believes that just like everyone else at this after-show party speaks in clichés, like everyone on the business side of the music industry, so does he himself at this point. There is nothing new in music being commercialised, and nothing new to say about it, even when chatting with the Polydor PR girls on the metal staircase. One of the biggest clichés in pop is the rebellion against over-commercialisation. Just don’t do it if that’s how you feel (so Nigel Blackwell doesn’t do it).
9. see below.
10. Bram Stoker (whose Dracula of course inspired Renfield’s Afoot) married Wilde’s ex-g/f Florence Balcombe, who decades later as Stoker’s literary heir tried to have all copies of the classic and immensely influential early horror film Nosferatu destroyed for infringing copyright.
11. (a) Arthur’s Farm in its entirety parodies Orwell’s Animal Farm.
(b) Turn a Blind Eye in its entirety parodies Niemöller’s First they came …
12. Fix It So She Dreams Of Me alludes to Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and McEwan’s On Chesil Beach, with its theme of non-consummation.
Finally my two flawed questions.
BIG flaw in Q.6
As far as I’m aware, there are 3 modified lines or fragments of Shakespeare in HMHB lyrics, only one of which (sorry) is via Hardy, “the serpent also hisses where the sweet birds do sing,” which is from Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida via Hardy’s Tess.
The two which are borrowed more directly by Mr B are “Something’s Rotten In The Back of Iceland”, parodying Hamlet’s line about Denmark, and “If music be the food of love …” the opening line of Twelfth Night, in Sealclubbing. Both of our contestants correctly identified the former.
There is also a Shakespearean element to “I’m just a primitive creature of the heath” in Thy Damnation, which although not a direct quote is clearly inspired by Egdon Heath in Hardy’s The Return of the Native which in turn was inspired by Shakespeare’s heath in King Lear.
There’s a more incidental error in Q9.
The question refers to “l’enfer c’est les autres,” the most famous line from Sartre’s Huis Clos. The first performance of Sartre’s play translated into English- so in the form that most of us know it – featured Alec Guinness saying the line as “hell is other people” in July 1946. I was thinking of the BBC radio version of that play, which we only know was recorded at around that time. You can still listen to it online, or download it for a journey with headphones (it’s short – about 1 hour 1 minute – the speech in question occurs with about 1 minute of the play remaining. Poor sound quality means headphones recommended)
But anyway, Dr. D has a found a more detailed account of Guinness’ career than the one I saw, and points out that a month before that, Guinness’ first post-war role was Dmitri in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov at the Lyric Theatre in June 1946.
Bravo again, John.
4 December 2019
EXXO
OMG, it’s like totally gone to VAR, with Saul’s post seconds before mine, so while I was typing, being considered for the 20 points that would snatch victory …
4 December 2019
IDIOT SAUL
I just hoofed a hopeful punt towards goal as the ref was blowing the full-time whistle. Don’t bother checking the pitchside monitor. I’m happy that no clear and obvious error was made. Turn a blind eye to my effort and stay with the result as announced. Well played Dr D.
4 December 2019
Transit full of keith
Well done Dr. D and cheers Exxo for a taxing quiz. The ingenuity of your no.5, which I’d never have got, has me reaching for (second favourite lyricist) Ian Dury: “there ain’t half been some clever bastards”.
4 December 2019
Lord leominster
I think have half a point for Q8 by recognising the song and understanding the sentiment but not the source of the lyric. But there was plenty there that I should have got, really, if only I’d tried a bit harder. But rather like when I am almost invariably none the wiser after seeing the answer to a crossword clue, Q5 has airshipped me completely. I can see a pattern ABCD. Do I need to be familiar with Wordsworth’s sonnet or am I missing something obvious? Nope, just read Wordy’s poem. Still clueless. I’m just a common thickie and not a Clevor Trever.
4 December 2019
Lord leominster
Whilst not quite redeeming myself I can at least now see what you mean about the rhyming pattern of the poem. Blimey. That’s hard to spot. I had thought the question had something to do with 4AD3DCD. But it didn’t. Every day is a school day.
4 December 2019
Parsfan
I managed 3 points, or 75% if I only count the questions I read more than once (Q1).
Thanks Nigel and well done to those who took part.
4 December 2019
EXXO
Glad you all enjoyed that one.
My next quiz will be the Christmas TV Times/Radio Times double issue on Friday 20th December. You should find all your festive fortnight TV and film question needs well catered for.
Notes and queries:
* Notice that I haven’t come back to confirm the VAR decision of ‘no goal’ for Saul for a good 5-6 hours. This represents the same proportion of the quiz week, about 3%, that VAR usually take of a match to give their decision. Anyway clearly no part of Saul’s body gave the Niemöller answer ahead of the 1pm deadline
* I corrected ‘maidens’ to ‘matrons’ in that line from Surging,but somehow reverted to the original mistake
* Pam Ferris (big fan) was nearly a Pointless answer today (but would in fact have scored 1).
4 December 2019
Lord leominsteR
I have a question for you, Exxo, that neatly bridges two of your recent quizzes. On which watershed does Wordsworth’s stone lie? (The stone is known by another name but I’ve renamed it to make it harder to Google.)
4 December 2019
Lord leominster
Upon reflection, without the benefit of very local knowledge (hint), my question is almost impossible to answer without the correct name of the stone to work on. So I’ll leave the question as it stands today and if it remains unanswered by the end of the day I will reword it (to include Biscuit references) tomorrow.
5 December 2019
dr desperate
In a year in which the main literary and artistic prizes were both shared, I think it would only be fair if Saul and I were together on the open-top bus ride for this one.
(My incorrect workings for Q3 relied upon a frankly audacious reading of ‘mis-translation’: Chambers gives ‘to remove to heaven’ as an alternative meaning for ‘translate’, bringing the “inevitable asterisk” lines into play.)
5 December 2019
EXXO
@Leommy – My only rocky, watersheddy Wordsworth association in your region is The Devil’s Pulpit above Tintern Abbey, a famous ‘beauty spot’ close to the Wye/Severn estuary watershed, where the poet wrote, errm, Tintern Abbey, but that’s 40+ miles downsream of you, so not very local.
@Dr. D – you can take who you like on your bus but VAR HAS SPOKEN!!
5 December 2019
dr desperate
Fair enough (though I was thinking of a 3-bus parade, à la Liverpool/Everton in 1986).
5 December 2019
IDIOT SAUL
@Dr D – I appreciate your magnanimous gesture and I’m happy to get on your funbus. You could take us all for a ride? However, I would be there only to applaud as you hold the trophy aloft to the assembled throng.
5 December 2019
EXXO
When the invites say the bus parade is “BYO” by the way, they mean remember to bring a large screw-top water bottle, or similar. Preferably a 5-litre job.
https://www.espn.co.uk/football/english-premier-league/23/blog/post/3443322/everton-losing-double-to-liverpool-in-1986-no-match-for-current-woes
Thanks Doc – you reminded me this was a chance to re-read that – it does put last night into stark relief (see what I did there). But let’s not forget Tranmere’s triumph last night as well. Plenty of cons but a few pros too in watching Uner-21’s.
5 December 2019
Ferencvaros fan
@Dr D: Savour the moment. I know you well enough to trust you will not succumb to triumphalism and start chanting ‘Dr D is magic, Idiot Saul is tragic’ as you hold your trophy aloft from the top of the bus.
5 December 2019
Ferencvaros faN
@Idiot Saul. Fantastic effort in the quiz. Maximum respect for running Dr D so close.
5 December 2019
lord leominster
@Exxo post 609. Spot on, as ever, with the Severn/Wye watershed which on the one hand is fairly obvious from my geography but on the other hand mightily impressive given the almost non-existent ‘Wordsworth’s Stone’ clue. Not Devil’s Pulpit (with apostrophe) but a different type of stone altogether, Poets Stone (no apostrophe), close to Leysters [or Laysters – both spellings are in use] which is 10km north west of…Leominster. I’ll give you the grid ref, you might like to go SO572635.
Here is a link that explains not quite all:
https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/784783
As for the watershed: approximately 100m to the north of Poets Stone is a stream that flows into the River Teme, near Tenbury Wells, that in turn flows into the Severn near Worcester. Approximately 400m to the south of the Poets Stone is another stream that flows south and becomes Cheaton Brook that flows into the Kenwater, near Leominster, that becomes the River Lugg before flowing into the Wye near Hereford. The Wye, of course, then flows into the Severn estuary. So, unusually, a single raindrop could take one of two very different routes to reach the same destination.
Bearing the above in mind, here is a puzzle:
The first river is mentioned in a HMHB song in the form of the name of a town that lies on it. The second river is named in another HMHB song that takes its name from a place that is taken from the name of a person that is taken from the name of another place that lies on the first river, not the second river. The first river flows into the second river.
But as this has already largely been answered here is the solution:
The first river [Wye] is mentioned in a HMHB song [Nove on the Sly] in the form of the name of a town [Hay-on-Wye] that lies on it. The second river [Severn] is named in another HMHB song that takes its name from a place [Lord Hereford’s Knob] that is taken from the name of a person [Lord Hereford] that is taken from the name of another place [Hereford] that lies on the first river [Wye], not the second river [Severn]. The first river [Wye] flows into the second river [Severn].
Here is a link to a seven minute film that follows the course of the River Wye, starting at Plynlimon and ending in the Severn Estuary. The film is called ‘As Above So Below’ for reasons that will become apparent. But first, I must declare an interest in that the film was made by the organisation that I am lucky enough to work for. However, I was not involved in any of the creative aspect of this film which allows me to give my own opinion that it is a wonderful piece of work. It was created to be viewed using a virtual reality headset but it can be viewed on a PC and, using the arrow keys, it is possible to look all around, including up and down. I’m not sure that this feature works on a phone but it is still worth watching in standard format. I hope you enjoy it.
https://vimeo.com/347507529
5 December 2019
EXXO
Great stuff, Richard. A top, top Poet’s Stone you’ve got there. It may not be the Grasmeres, but you work in a wonderful part of the world and I’m really impressed by some of the other videos on the projects – interesting to learn a bit about what’s going on about the by-pass too, as I have spent many happy days in bootiful Breinton on the bonny banks of the Wye!
As someone who’s seen a lot of spectacular drone footage over many lengths that beautiful river, and underwater footage in it, I’ll reserve judgement on your virtual reality experience until I have the chance to be properly immersed.
5 December 2019
Lord leominstEr
* Leysters is north east of Leominster, not north west.
* I think that was more of a riddle than a puzzle.
5 December 2019
EXXO
PS – it’s a small world*.
I’m pretty sure Mrs. Exford knows people who work For TT in your office, but she’s away right now and for a lot of reasons it may be a while before I can confirm this with you.
*when I recently said this phrase to Nigel B, concerning the coincidences that link my brother with Doctor Desperate and his brother, he replied “but I wouldn’t want to paint it.”
5 December 2019
Lord leominstEr
How about that. 6 degrees of separation and all that. We had an ex-copper visit us at work recently for reasons I won’t bore you with and we were talking about Travellers’ Times when he said he’d read an interesting book about travellers by a chap called Damian Le Bas. We said ‘he works here’.
5 December 2019
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Not to accuse the Bard of Birkenhead of plagiarism, mind, but the great American comedian Steven Wright, the absolute king of the dry and wry one-liners, was using the line “It’s a small world…but I still wouldn’t want to paint it” in his act way back in the 90s.
Of course, it’s most likely not original to him either, as people have been saying “It’s a small world” since the first time a caveman hunting party happened upon a hunting party from another tribe two summers in a row 10,000 years ago, and somebody probably added the painting part shortly after paint was invented.
5 December 2019
EXXO
Funnily enough I looked it up just after I posted it, wondering why I hadn’t previously, and it came up as the very influential Scottish comedian Chic Murray (who died in 1985), and Steven Wright (who didn’t).
5 December 2019
dr desperate
Acording to Wikipedia, ‘It’s A Small World’ has been repainted many times since 1966.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_a_Small_World
6 December 2019
Lord leominster
@Exxo, post 616
In the early noughties I briefly had a grounds maintenance job that involved litter picking on the banks of the Wye at Breinton Spring. I concluded that it must be a good place to light a small fire and sit around drinking beer out of cans. So many cans…. It was a good job and I didn’t have to pretend I knew what ‘rhetorical’ meant.
10 December 2019
EXXO
Tell me about it. Most times I’ve been there I’ve had to do the same job for 20-30 mins, just so passing dog walkers didn’t think the litter had anything to do with me.
The video on your site about the community thingy in Breinton got me googling up all the info about the bypass, and it’s amazing how emotionally involved with it I can feel 200 miles away, hoping that if it happens it’ll be the ‘red’ route not the ‘black and olive’ one which would utterly ruin my favourite spots, even though the difference is only a few hundred yards.
10 December 2019
EXXO
Anyone got one for tomorrow?
I’ve been preparing the bumper festive double edition entertainment quiz (out on Friday 20th), which has become a bit of a behemoth. It has the potential, one feels, to bring families together around their Biscuit CDs and Wikipedias well into the New Year. Questions geared to all ages and abilities in this one. There is so much of it that I considered putting some of it out tomorrow, but tomorrow is too early for Chrimbo fun, and anyway, one suspects that nobody much will feel like fun tomorrow.
So I have noticed the potential for a much smaller scale FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH DOOM AND GLOOM quiz, but I am loath to hog the limelight … so, only if there are no other takers for tomorrow, I will prepare this tonight while watching doom unfold across our isles on a hopefully not too massive scale.
12 December 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Looks like the stage is set. Bring on the Doom and Gloom, Exxo. This is awful.
13 December 2019
Cream cheese and chives
Is today National Shite Day?
13 December 2019
Transit full of keith
Yes. Yes, I think it is.
13 December 2019
Phyllis Triggs
Definitely.
See also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd6E1JpwMj4
13 December 2019
lord leominster
It’s bad, but it could be worse. At least we’re not being led unto damnation by a bunch of fair-haired demons. Having said that, the hair styles do look vaguely familiar…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqlozoXVxYM
…and the body shapes…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_S4eGrczdQ
13 December 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Fukc politics.
13 December 2019
Gipton TEENAGER
Well it WAS National Shite Day for me until I just got home, turned some Christmas lights on and blew the fuses. So double NSD for me.
13 December 2019
EXXO
Depressed Beyond Quizzes, Gone Beyond Points
1. Which specific and all-too-real death referenced in HMHB lyrics occurred on a Friday the 13th?
2. If you were unlucky enough to be a paying customer at Tranmere Rovers FCtonight (Friday the 13th), why would nobody notice if you tiptoed to the front row with a machine gun?
3. Which star born on Friday 13th who isn’t referenced in HMHB, did at least try to kill Robert Powell in 1977?
4. Which actor (not v. famous), who played a character mentioned in a HMHB song, has to be one the luckiest unlucky people alive? During the war he was captured and shot by an enemy firing squad, left in a mass grave and escaped. He was then blinded in both eyes for 2 years by a hand grenade,but recovered sight in one eye . A couple of years later he survived a plane crash in the US that killed all the other people on board.
5. “Hey Jason, they’ve got no dry ice.” But turning to Jason in the Friday the Thirteenth films … Jason is famous for the sheer variety of instruments he uses to commit his evil slayings. Can you name at least 5 items that are named in HMHB lyrics which this prolific horror killer uses to kill, kill, kill, stab, murder and dispatch his 100+ victims in the various films of this tediously gory franchise?
6. “A hammer hit my head and I couldn’t understand. Behind me stood a maniac laughing at me saying “I like to watch the adverts. Yeah, I saw it in the adverts”.”
Unlucky there. But what was the advert for?
7. “A pulled-up at Bangor-on- Dee” spoiled Good Friday in a song released in 2005. But what sporting fact puts this bad luck for the protagonist in context?
8-13 are some extra gloomy questions about the events of yesterday (ignore these if it’s all too much)
8. When referenced by HMHB, this constituency was held by the famous Northern Ireland secretary, and at that time lived up to its name. Now there will be calls to change the first part of the name to another colour.
9. Which racecourse lies within a borough more famous for another Racecouse (which yesterday turned blue for the first time in 84 years), but now lies in separate parliamentary constituency whose new MP is an anagram of “N/S money bias.”
10. This red football team’s constituency went blue yesterday for the first time in 27 years. The new MPs anagram gives us the splendid name for new band: bacterial riffs.
11. Which is the only Highland League team mentioned in HMHB that is still in a Tory constituency today?
12. Name a Scottish League club (ie a higher level than the Highland League) whose town is mentioned in HMHB which is still a Tory constituency today.
13. The hills of which HMHB song turned a particularly depressing shade of blue yesterday?
Good luck …
13 December 2019
EXXO
I didn’t immediately say the usual “please don’t post your answers until Tuesday”, because I must admit I’m desperately in need of entertainment and have a bit of cabin fever while Mrs Exxo is away one of her St Pauli weekends. But, in selfless consideration of my greater Reithian purpose, please don’t post your answers until Tuesday (1pm), to give more people a chance to puzzle/google
.
14 December 2019
dr desperate
Hmmm, google you say…
14 December 2019
parsfan
I’ve tried a bit this week, almost half way there plus, presumably, bonus points for getting both answers for question 12 (I had three briefly then re-read it).
I think I only ever saw the first couple of Friday The 13ths, and that was a long time ago, so I’m looking forward to see how many of “eggs, bread, cigs, milk” were used.
In other news, I’ve just finished taking my amp apart. No valves, just 20 years of dust.
16 December 2019
EXXO
Great stuff, Paul. I did mean ‘Scottish League’ in the old sense – top 4 divisions, but yes, it seems likely that bonus point clauses will be triggered.
In honour of your participation, I reckon we should let you have first crack at posting the answers this week – and as you’re a busy mover and shaker with a young family, we’ll give you from any time now till say 10pm tonight to post your answers, and after that anyone can post theirs.
For those who don’t know, Paul (Parsfan) is possibly the longest-serving Biscuiteer still posting semi-regularly* in random threads on here. I don’t know when he started, but he was there when I found the HMHB Yahoo group over 19 years ago.
*Unless one of you is the legendary ‘Kid Spoons’ in diguise, but it seems unlikely.
Of course Mike C, with his gig reports is probably the most regular of those that have been around for at least two decades, but it seems that as a member of the ’92 club’ he’s too busy ground-hopping to pop up in the random threads required to satisfy my criteria for actual participation in da online community massive. There are others out there – Kitty, Taylo, Loop & Moo … but no random semi-regularity there either. Seasons greetings to one and all.
17 December 2019
dr desperate
I believe I had 10 out of 13 (including the all-important incorrect question), but became so appalled by the online resources when I started to look into No 5 that I gave up there and then.
8 – 13 were almost as bad.
17 December 2019
Parsfan
I’ll post when I get home. Will hopefully have more realistic murder weapons by then.
I think I might be on 11.2/14.
17 December 2019
hendrix-tattoo
Q6. Advert or Public Information Film.
Eyes and Ears
I’ts your lookout….
https://youtu.be/JNdDmHQ9JUo
17 December 2019
hendrix-tattoo
I also vaguely remember a Public Information Film with a Hammer and a peach “This is what happens to you when a car hits you at 30 MPH”
Green Cross Code maybe?
17 December 2019
BOBBY SVARC
“Eyes and Ears” was the PIF, There was also no truth about the pedestrian listening to Del Amitri on his walkman either.
17 December 2019
parsfan
Some fairly sure, some researched, some guesses…
1. Tupac Shakur
2. They were playing away
3. Christopher Plummer
4.
5. submachine gun, hammer, dental floss, bottleneck, shite
These are all just guesses, some more serious than others. There was a time I would have included “scimitar” as in “balding…”. As I’ve implied before, the lyrics don’t always have to make sense.
6. Road Safety
7.
8. Redcar
9. Bangor-on-Dee The MP is Simon Baynes, with two racecources in the question I might have been tricked here but assumed it’s this for the Biscuit reference (as I thought before looking).
10. Accrington Stanley The MP is Sara Britcliffe
11. Keith I originally discounted them as they’re in the same constituency as Elgin, but they’re no longer in the Highland League
12. Stranraer and Queen of the South I looked to see if Annan, either the town or Kofi, were ever mentioned to make it three
13. Depressed Beyond Tablets Clwdian
17 December 2019
EXXO
Really impressive play Paul. You score an initial 9 out of 13 (with 1.2 bonus points), and I’ll post the explanations of your correct answers immediately.
Dr. D. please tell us which of these 9 you got, and what else you have to offer for questions 2,4, 5 &7, the ones Paul didn’t get.
1. Which specific and all-too-real death referenced in HMHB lyrics occurred on a Friday the 13th?
Tupac Shakur died on Friday 13th September 2019 after being shot about a week earlier.
3. Which star born on Friday 13th who isn’t referenced in HMHB, did at least try to kill Robert Powell in 1977?
Christopher Plummer celebrated his 90th birthday on the day this quiz was inspired by. In 1977 he played Herod, whose spree of infanticide failed to prevent Robert Powell becoming Christ on telly.
6. “A hammer hit my head and I couldn’t understand. Behind me stood a maniac laughing at me saying “I like to watch the adverts. Yeah, I saw it in the adverts”.”
Unlucky there. But what was the advert for?
http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/films/1964to1979/filmpage_hammer.htm
8. When referenced by HMHB, this constituency was held by the famous Northern Ireland secretary, and at that time lived up to its name. Now there will be calls to change the first part of the name to another colour.
REDcar ( mighty Mo Mowlam’s old seat) turned to BLUEcar.
9. Which racecourse lies within a borough more famous for another Racecouse (which yesterday turned blue for the first time in 84 years), but now lies in separate parliamentary constituency whose new MP is an anagram of “N/S money bias.”
Bangor-on-Dee is in the borough of Wrexham (more famous for the Racecourse football ground),a constituency which went blue for the first time in 84 years, but the racecourse now lies in the separate constituency of South Clwyd, new Tory MP Simon Baynes.
It may or may not be interesting to recall that this was the constituency where Boris Johnson first stood as a Tory candidate in 1997, At one point during the campaign he told an interviewer: “Look, I’m rather pro-European, actually. I certainly want a European community where one can go and scoff croissants, drink delicious coffee, learn foreign languages and generally make love to foreign women.” He gained notoriety when he broke electoral law by offering free refreshments (no croissants, though) at a public meeting.
10. This red football team’s constituency went blue yesterday for the first time in 27 years. The new MPs anagram gives us the splendid name for new band: bacterial riffs.
Accy Stanley’s constituency (Hyndburn) – new MP is the youngest in England for many years – Sara Britcliffe. Bacterial Riffs.
11. Which is the only Highland League team mentioned in HMHB that is still in a Tory constituency today?
Keith.
12. Name a Scottish League club (ie a higher level than the Highland League) whose town is mentioned in HMHB which is still a Tory constituency today.
Stranraer & QoS (Dumfries)
13. The hills of which HMHB song turned a particularly depressing shade of blue yesterday?
The Clwydian Hills, as seen from Wirral, lie 99.9%in the constituency of Delyn, another one to turn Tory for the first time in 27 years. Indeed, this is the first time in history that a Labour seat on the right hand shore of the Dee estuary will look across to a Tory seat on the left. It has generally been the other way round.
17 December 2019
mister tubbs
@Exxo, thanks for putting on the quiz – most of my answers are guesses:-
1.John Lennon
2.They weren’t playing – maybe it was Bingo night in the clubhouse?
3.
4.James Finlayson
5.I haven’t seen any of the films, so just thinking of implements that might’ve been appropriate:- Stick with a spike on, ice axe, bag of woods, biro, drill
6.Megazones
7.
8.Redcar
9.Wrexham
10.Lincoln
11.Keith
12.Queen of the South in Dumfries & Galloway
13.Clywdian Hills in Depressed beyond tablets
17 December 2019
EXXO
Soz Shakur died 1996 obviously.
17 December 2019
EXXO
Mr. Tubbs, who posted virtually simultaneously with me there, scores 4 (Q. 8, 11, 12 & 13) plus 0.2 for Q.5.
Alas Wrexham was the blue herring but good election knowledge there!
17 December 2019
Kittymc
Happy Christmas to you, Exxo! (I do lurk) Ah, a nostalgic sniff for the old Yahoo group. It was awful silly. We even wrote The HMHB Rock Opera. What noble folly! Think we got about as far as Act 1, Scene 3 before it just collapsed in its own giddiness – no plot whatsoever, naturally. And then we just couldn’t be arsed. Happy Christmas to all, in spite of recent events.
17 December 2019
Pirx the purist
Oh, good! A chance to tell my Boris story (if I haven’t told it somewhere else here before).
As you say, he stood here in ’97. Now, some six years or so before, our local steelworks – the product of which had a very high international reputation – had been closed by a bunch of asset strippers. The response of the Government at that time (the Sec. of Stoat was David Hunt, to provide the Wirral connection) offered nothing but pieties about ‘the market’ and how it couldn’t be bucked.
Anyway, fast forward, and Johnson on the campaign trail went into the shop which stood opposite our house.
Not only was the shopkeeper a leading light (well, more of a 40W bulb really) in the Labour Party hereabouts, but his entry to the premises coincided with the presence thereupon of my mother, who had a withering view of politicians in general and Tory ones in particular.
She never divulged the details of the conversation, but it is to that encounter that I attribute that ‘confused baby’ look which the dolt still exhibits to this very day when he is thrown off-balance.
17 December 2019
dr desperate
I got those nine, Exxo (mainly, okay all, by Googling). My other answer was for Q7, which was that no horse racing ever took place on a Good Friday on British racecourses until 2014, when meetings were held at Lingfield Park and Musselburgh.
My “incorrect question” was Q3, as Christopher Plummer played Herod Antipas in ‘Jesus Of Nazareth’. According to The Gospel of Luke, Antipas refused to take responsibility for sentencing Jesus to death, returning him to Pilate to do so. His father Herod The Great was the one responsible for the Massacre Of The Holy Innocents, and was played by Peter Ustinov (DOB 16.4.21).
17 December 2019
EXXO
Excellent stuff. I won’t wash my hands till I have handed you the 10 points plus 1 bonus point for the correction, putting you in the lead…
However, if someone can bring me the heads of questions 2, 4 & 5 on a plate by 3pm tomorrow, I will not only dance for them but also get very arbitrary indeed with the bonus points. What did people pay for at Prenton Park last Friday night? When Iimentioned it to Mr. B he muttered something about wanting to burn his own club’s banqueting suite down!
18 December 2019
Transit full of keith
Without googling, I had just two of these (Redcar and Clwydian Hills).
As for horrible PIFs, I am just old enough to have been traumatised by “The Finishing Line”, 20 minutes of playing-on-railway-lines horror which came on just after Crackerjack. I don’t know the hammer and peach one, but was this bit from The Young Ones based on it? https://youtu.be/aiVuHEv2VZ4
18 December 2019
EXXO
Actually after a recount, two of Paul’s weapons are correct. This puts him only 0.6 points behind.
Also, in other errors, Sara Britcliffe was only the youngest MP for a few minutes, before a kid from Nottingham got in who had never heard of politics till about 4 years ago, but fair play, she’s well into it now.
18 December 2019
EXXO
@ Keith – yes, it ceratinly looks like a spoof of that one and its genre.
18 December 2019
dr desperate
With that hint, I now see Prenton Park hosted a Winter Wonderland party last Friday, at which one might have tiptoed down to a pop Korn machine.
https://www.tranmererovers.co.uk/commercial/book-now—winter-wonderland-christmas-parties/
(Another Exxcellent quiz, btw, turning Friday 13th into a political football just when it was needed.)
18 December 2019
FlintloCk
I don’t think I’ve seen the hammer and peach advert before – thanks.
I thought the Young Ones sketch was a spoof of this: https://youtu.be/IYJYA0P5ls8
18 December 2019
cream cheese and chives
I have a complilation video of Public Information Films. Of course I have no player and attempts to make it into a dvd were a bit of a disaster. Highlights are too many to mention. Attached are a couple- Donald Pleasence’s finest hour and an implied promotion of dirty floors. I vaguely remember Reginald Noelhusband and his parallel parking together with the ‘weaver bird’ -about lane discipline -often used to appear before Grandstand on a Saturday dinner. And the idea of using Jimmy Saville to promote safety?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb00H6mCTM8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjqHA9JKFBs
Meanwhile in America there as a whole series of films warning(!!) about homosexuality. This is only one of them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfqYb0ycGDU
18 December 2019
EXXO
Hmm. That’s not in fact the correct answer or reason why nobody would have noticed the machine gun. Nor would it give Mr. B any reason to mutter about arson.
18 December 2019
BOBBY SVARC
I think the ‘Young Ones’ PIF was a spoof of ‘THINK BIKE’, I’d just started work and bought a Honda SS50 in 1976, they might have shown my mam a film of sixteen-year-olds being mown down by a machine gunner, I had to sell it after a few months because she was halfway to Rampton.
18 December 2019
EXXO
I think the spoof one has deliverately got elements of both those PIFs.
When I watched that one just one just now it was followed on Youtube by one for bikers from 1965 (Look-Signal-Manoeuvre) that would turn any sane person into a Hell’s Angel.
18 December 2019
IDIOT SAUL
Is ‘no racing on Good Fridays in those days’ the answer to Q7? Or does losing a play-off semi-final to Hartlepool on penalties a couple of months later make a pulled up at Bangor-on-Dee pale into insignificance?
18 December 2019
EXXO
Yes, no racing on Good Friday till 2014, and I suspect Mr. B was not aware of the fact.
18 December 2019
EXXO
Another re-count has been ordered by the Scottish Appeal Court in the light of Paul’s answers to Q.11 & Q.12. Has he in effect gained a bonus point for question 12 in his answer to question 11?
Elgin would of course be an acceptable answer to Q12, and Paul’s comment 636 implies a bit of a hanging chad there.
18 December 2019
Transit full of keith
Is it because the Winter Wonderland night in question is titled “Have a Blindin’ Christmas”, on account of its already-ridiculed-in-song Peaky Blinders theme?
18 December 2019
EXXO
That’s the one!
Such is the incredible popularity of that stupid programme that there have been no fewer than SIX such nights at Prenton Park in the last few weeks, with hundreds of punters paying £39.50 a head. Some of them will have been carrying replica machine guns a la Cillian Murphy (‘cos that’s what British gangsters importing coke and becoming MP’s did in the 1930’s, as every fule know).
https://www.tranmererovers.co.uk/commercial/have-a-blindin-christmas-at-trfc/
The signs advertising it are all around the urinals at Prenton Park, which is what prompted me to see what Mr. B’s reaction would be when I asked if he would be going …
I think when we had a drink on Town last March, Keith, and we were struggling to find decent boozers (with food) that end of town, we passed that Peaky Blinders themed pub in the Cains brewery building, that was ridiculed a few months later at the Edinburgh gig?
18 December 2019
EXXO
Sorry, “on Town” was just one of my typoes there. Don’t want to give anyone the impression that it’s another of quaint idiosyncracies, as in “on the Wirral” and “on the Kop.”
18 December 2019
Transit full of keith
It’s just Bugsy Malone with coaldust and shagging, isn’t it.
18 December 2019
EXXO
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes. WTF is it about gangsters that makes people want to watch them anyway? I can just about take some of the very best Scorsese/Coppola ones, but the rest of them can just well, sleep with the fishes.
Talking of which, the remaining answers:
4. Which actor (not v. famous), who played a character mentioned in a HMHB song, has to be one the luckiest unlucky people alive? During the war he was captured and shot by an enemy firing squad, left in a mass grave and escaped. He was then blinded in both eyes for 2 years by a hand grenade,but recovered sight in one eye . A couple of years later he survived a plane crash in the US that killed all the other people on board.
Kim Kahana played Chongo (of “uh-oh Chongo” fame in the Gwatkin outro) in Danger Island.
5. “Hey Jason, they’ve got no dry ice.” But turning to Jason in the Friday the Thirteenth films … Jason is famous for the sheer variety of instruments he uses to commit his evil slayings. Can you name at least 5 items that are named in HMHB lyrics which this prolific horror killer uses to kill, kill, kill, stab, murder and dispatch his 100+ victims in the various films of this tediously gory franchise?
Acceptable answers that I know of are: hammer, axe, ice-axe, guitar, elbow, chain, tree, bed, glass, water, antenna, door, hand(s), fire, hook, dart, car, and yes, shite (drowned in sewage, I think).
I am willing to be challenged on others. Well, I was.
Dr. D has another narrow win.
In the spirit of the season (and in an effort to further reduce Dr. D’s margins of victory), the bumper festive fortnight quiz this Friday will offer more points for the easy questions than the difficult ones.
18 December 2019
Lord leominstEr
Still disappointed with myself for not getting ‘Animal Farm’ in the last quiz, I tried a bit harder this time and did a bit better.
BG (Before Google) I got 6. “I saw it in the adverts” and 13. the hills that turned blue (a lucky guess).
AG (After Google) I added 3. as per Dr. D’s explanation (I was initially unsure as this Herod didn’t try to kill Robert Powell, so pleased to see this confirmed). 5. Jason’s implements of death from a useful list I found of murders and weapons (which brought back memories of seeing Friday 13th Part 3 in 3D *on* Friday 13th – I survived all the pointy things that came out of the cinema screen towards me). Finally 8. Redcar.
At this rate I may be able to compete one day. I’m still learning (I hadn’t even heard of Tupac – no, really – so the lyric made no real sense, I just enjoyed it for what it was, but now I know).
Thanks for the quiz. How come you know so much stuff? My head is full. Every time I learn something new I have to make room by forgetting something. The only trouble is I don’t get to choose what to forget (perhaps I did once know all about Tupac). Which reminds me of dialogue in Laurel and Hardy’s ‘Sons of the Desert’ “Why did you join the Foreign Legion?” “I joined to forget” “To forget what?” “I don’t know. I’ve forgotten”.
18 December 2019
gipton TEENAGER
@Exxo, post 665. Shouldn’t that be ” as any fule no”?
19 December 2019
dr desperate
@Leommy “Every time I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed out of my brain. Remember that time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive?” (Homer Simpson).
@Gippo “As any fule kno”, I think.
19 December 2019
gipton teenager
@ Dr. D I think you’re right. I would consult my Willans, if it wasn’t in a box somewhere, after my last house move 2 years ago, which leads me on to
@ Leommy, I’ve gone through the “Now, what did I come upstairs for?” stage and
now ask myself in the middle of the staircase “Now, was I going upstairs or coming downstairs?”
19 December 2019
lord leominster
Homer who?
19 December 2019
Lord leominsTer
Just read up on Kim Kahana. Put me in mind of this.
The Luckiest / Unluckiest Man in the World – QI Series 8 Ep 13
https://youtu.be/XnTaqBnNLUU
19 December 2019
EXXO
The first three rounds (thirty questions) of the Xmas double issue quiz are now live on an old neglected blog page of mine, because this quiz demanded a lot of pictures, etc.
By the end of Friday afternoon, there will be ten rounds and at least 100 answers to find over the festive period
Most answers will be worth 5 points. Easier ones will be worth 20 points, and this is clearly indicated. This should even things up and add more jeopardy
Please do not post any of your answers here. I will actually get you to send in your answers as private messages to the blog page or something, if you reckon you have reached a certain threshold of points. Details TBA, but hopefully not particularly glib.
I am hoping to stage a play-off game of HMHB Blockbusters between the two highest scorers. Watch this space.
https://theuffingtonpost.wordpress.com/2019/12/20/the-hmhb-radio-times-festive-double-edition-entertainment-quiz-2019/
20 December 2019
Bobby Svarc
Looks fun all the way this Christmas time. Incredible work Exxo, excellent. I’ve had my own little side bet of how many Mr B, Mr Blackwell, Nigel Blackwell or Nigels appears in the quiz.
20 December 2019
transit full of keith
That looks like a superb piece of quiz-craft, not to mention picture research. And a totally unjustifiable, crowd-baiting “surely-a-bit-of-controversy-adds-to-the-game’s-appeal” scoring system thrown in as well.
I’ll get properly stuck into it once I’ve located the office escape pod later today, but I’m pleased to note I can do the first two questions (for a change).
20 December 2019
Intheshadowoflilly
Blimey, quite the quiz there. Struggling a bit on the opening lot but otherwise I think OK. It beat working for a half hour anyway.
20 December 2019
EXXO
Glad you like it. Round 4, the old This is Your Life repeats round, has just gone up and new rounds will be added throughout today.
20 December 2019
EXXO
Though I say so meself, I think round 6, So-called ‘comedy’ encapsulates the spirit of HMHB past, present and future with aplomb.
20 December 2019
EXXO
Took longer than I thought to sort out the final round, but it’s all up now and I’ll round it off later tonight so that there are actually 100 questions (it’s currently sort of 97, but as some have two-part answers I just need to jiggle the numbers slightly).
Like I say please don’t post any answers anywhere. I’ll adjust the top of the blog later on, to say how to send your answers in, about ten days from now (it’ll initially just be a question of telling me how many points you think you might have, then the people with the most can send their answers in if they want).
https://theuffingtonpost.wordpress.com/2019/12/20/the-hmhb-radio-times-festive-double-edition-entertainment-quiz-2019/
20 December 2019
Featureless tv producer steve
And the phrase “Suiitably contrived and unnecessarily complex” rears its beautiful head again….
21 December 2019
cream cheese and chives
What a fantastic thing! It’s like a quiz selection box. Thank you.
21 December 2019
Schoon
What an amazing quiz. Thanks Exxo. I’ve got 5/6 anagrams but not sodding number 60. Number 62 is very good.
21 December 2019
Schoon
Ah got it!
21 December 2019
Lux inferior
@ Exxo: phenomenal work. Hope I can devote the time necessary for a proper crack at it…if I can ever shake off this bout of flu (or bad cold, perhaps).
I took the time to read the ‘about me’ section whilst on your blog site. The extract below resonates with me more than just about anything I’ve ever read:
“…the kind of solace that they (HMHB) provide for those of us who are not really motivated to achieve anything … except, if we are lucky, the quiet happiness that can finally ensue once you’ve truly limited your aspirations.”
22 December 2019
EXXO
Glad you like it.I came down with the lurgy meself as soon as I’d finished compiling the quiz. Tried to go out for a drink Friday, but came straight back home feeling rotten.
Just in case anyone got a lot of the answers on Friday .. most of the question numbers did change when I got back from the pub that night … and the wording of a couple or three of them was changed over the weekend.
23 December 2019
Bobby Svarc
This is great
23 December 2019
EXXO
Well it’s time to claim your points folks!! Dr. Des says he’s got some sort of answer to every question. Even if he’s got about 12 of the five-point questions wrong, this could make him the first person on earth to ever score a thousand points in a HMHB quiz.
However, you never know. I intend to be strict with the five-point answers and no part-marks will be awarded (e.g. if I ask “who in which song and what programme?” I want all of that in your answer, though any sort of abbreviated song titles are fine). You may have the 37 x twenty-pointers right yourself, and then you’d only need 50 of the five-pointers and ten bonus points in order to claim the ‘first-to-a-thousand-points’ honour yourself. Because trust me, if you submit your answers to the blog by 12 noon this Friday, I will be sure to count your points before Dr. D’s. Comments on the blog will not go public (except any feedback about how it totally made your Quizmas complete).
Tip: write your answers in a separate document first in case the evil blog gremlin is hungry.
I said there were no prizes, but if Dr. D wins I can see potential for a “probably the first person ever to score a thousand points in a Half Man Half Biscuit quiz” plastic crown to be worn at the next gig, if only to see whether security will confiscate it on H&S grounds.
31 December 2019
dr desperate
Exx-quizite!
A Happy New Decade to all quiz setters and solvers (and non-quizzers)!
31 December 2019
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
Exxo, John’s answers have gone live in your blog’s comment thread, which I think is unintentional. To give a bit more time to the rest of us, can you remove them? I’ve also posted my points total (awaiting moderation) but not my answers yet.
31 December 2019
dr desperate
Sorry all, my previous posts have been marked as “awaiting moderation”.
31 December 2019
EXXO
Hmm, thanks for letting me know Keith, the evil blog gremlin is truly sorry about that. The weird thing is that I didn’t even see those answers, which must somehow have arrived at the exact moment that I was trying to approve another of John’s comments. Then when you check what it looks like to Joe Public, you don’t always see the up-to-the minute state of play.
Please note also that the wording (and points structure) of Q.19-22 changed a few days ago when I noticed it was crap.
31 December 2019
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
Ta. Now removed. My comment there might have been swallowed up in the process, so: my points total, on that frankly ridiculous scoring system, is I think at least 740, with potential to go up to 820 if some of my wild guesses cone in. And it’s an excellent quiz which enlivened tedious bouts of post-Christmas wallpaper stripping, so cheers.
31 December 2019
BOBBY SVARC
Happy New Year everyone. I’m entering my sixtieth year on this planet and I’m holding my burfday bash at the Connie Club in Earl Shilton in the Shire of Leicester. In your diary put it down, 26/06/2020. Entertainment supplied by the rocking sounds of Dawson Smith and the Dissenters. I’m hoping to make it to the RCN in May as too, all depends on the weather.
31 December 2019
dr desperate
Good man yourself, Mickey. See you at both.
31 December 2019
Warden Hodges
All the best Micky Hoss, here’s to your left hand making many more models in ’20.
1 January 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Cheers Keggo, you can any model you like with your left hand, ..eh, what?.
1 January 2020
warden hodges
From one southpaw to another, haha.
1 January 2020
EXXO
Well, a whole two entries were received to the monstrous Xmas quiz before today’s noon deadline. This vindicated my even more monstrous points scheme entirely because there was genuine jeopardy as to whether anyone would become the legendary “first person ever to score a thousand points in a HMHB quiz.”
Keith took an early lead over John (Dr. Des) in the opening round and, although that was the only round he won, he remained competitive until around half-way, when my daft mistake in one of Round Five’s simpler anagrams (which he got right) may have caused his morale to flag when it came to the harder ones in Round Eight (which he roundly ignored). From then on John frankly gave him a trouncing.
Meanwhile I myself flagged towards the end of setting this marathon beast and made daft mistakes too on my questions 96 and 100. So that’s questions 42, 96 & 100 where I fucked up. Many apologies. Those questions will be edited this evening (because the corrected quiz will stay on the blog without the answers for now)and it’s up to you whether you ever speak in public of these dark stains on my record.
Anyway, Keith became the first person ever to score 695 points in a HMHB quiz, because I looked at his answers first … and he didn’t google!
… but Doctor Desperate scored a mightily impressive 985 … which he will note would have been over the fabled four-digit number had I awarded just a few half-marks for his oh-so-nearlies.
I remove my woolly hat for the first time in 2020 to you John. a most worthy winner once more.
I’ll email the answers to those two, but I’ll leave it a couple more days (Saturday) before I put them up here, just in case anyone else is tempted to go for the thousand themselves.
2 January 2020
dr desperate
Well thanks Exxo, for those kinds words and for that tremendous quiz.
I’m somewhat relieved that those missing 15 points mean I won’t have to wear a plastic crown at Hull. Perhaps I can take some consolation from getting three HMHB-related answers which none of the contestants got on one of the University Challenge Christmas episodes.
They’re at [21:00], [22:40] and [26:43] here
3 January 2020
dr desperate
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000crt5/university-challenge-christmas-2019-5-royal-holloway-v-sussex
One is a person, one a place and one a construction.
(Apologies to non-UK residents who won’t be able to view it.)
3 January 2020
EXXO
Ha yes I noticed those 3. Most fun I have on sleb UC is seeing if I guess the final score from the profiles at the beginning and I’ve rarely been more than 30 out for any of the teams, though I got Imperial & Warwick the wrong way round cos of the final easy music round. It’s a bit like Pointless where most of the fun to be had is guessing the number from 0 to 100 for each answer – for the first time the other day I got two exactly right in one show (a 3-point answer and a 58).
Totals amended to Keith 700 and John 990 (and extra 5 for Q.100), which makes my awarding of 0 points to John for question 3 seem particularly harsh, but alea iacta est.
3 January 2020
EXXO
That’s a good story on your FB by the way John about you being denied UC glory ‘cos your Uni was banned after the Aaronovich incident. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LLR6tGRAUI
I was just going into the room for the qualifying thing in our college when I saw this horrible sloaney Tory lad that I was always up against in the college elections and stuff and I just thought “aw shit, not you again, I couldn’t go to London with you”, turned round and walked out. Dunno how they did – nobody had tellies at Uni in those days. Didn’t give it much thought till the Young Ones demolished it a couple of years later and was glad I never went. Thinking about it, that Young Ones episode must have been partly inspired by the Manchester thing too – same episode (‘Bambi’) where Alexei sayle riffs on the revolutionary biscuits.
3 January 2020
EXXO
Manchester, not London, of course. And wondering what had become of the sloaney bigoted twerp – as if there was any real doubt – he’s now a corporate silk earning gazillions, with scandalous affairs and discrimination cases in his chambers along the way ..
3 January 2020
Alice van der meer
Supposedly amongst the lost UC tapes along with the Trotsky show there was also a 1972 House of Commons episode with David Steele and Enoch Powell. A scary thought.
3 January 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
I thought I’d missed my chance to get my entry in given I’d been doing this at work…
I’ll retrieve the word doc with my answers so far and ping it over.
3 January 2020
EXXO
Good to hear that while John is the winner, the King of Hi-Quiz, the thousand-point challenge still alive onto a third Friday afternoon in offices up and down the realm. In the search for marginal gains it may be worth checking the slight revision to the final sentence of Questions 19-22, as well as the corrected anagram for Q.42, the undignified back-tracking of Q.96 and the mystifyingly unrecognisable Q.100.
https://theuffingtonpost.wordpress.com/2019/12/20/the-hmhb-radio-times-festive-double-edition-entertainment-quiz-2019/
3 January 2020
transit full of keith
Cheers again for the monster quiz, Exxo and congrats to the Doctor.
3 January 2020
EXXO
Xmas Quiz answers
All answers and bonuses worth 5 points unless stated.
Round 1: Xmas Cards
1. It’s from everybody in Kazakhstan (‘Bob Wilson’)
2. From Jean Greenhowe, in one of her more forgiving moods (‘Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert’)
3. The card reads “Quite disappointing, really” “Not very big”, (Copenhagen, ‘Fear My Wraith’) 20 points
4. Razor Ruddock writes that he’s “gonna get him in a headlock” (‘Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools’)
5. Mario Kempes & family are “thinking if you too” (‘Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show’)
6. The smarmy tribute act calling themselves The Rat Pack (‘Evening Of Swing’)
7. Bono (Eno did seven albums with U2)
8. Primark FM (‘National Shite Day’) 20 points
9. Ernie Shackleton’s crew retreating across the ice on Christmas Day 1915 (‘Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess’)
10. Lesley Garrett, ENO (English National Opera) Xmas single for Shelter (Keith reminds me that Brian Eno himself also released a novelty election song for a homelessness charity in Dec 2019)
Round 2: The Radio Times Quiz
11. Emma Thompson
12. Emma Thompson again
13. Simon Mayo
14. John Cooper Clarke
15. Cats
16. Greggs 20 points
17. Archie 20 points
18. Sainsburys 20 points
Round 3: What’s on Telly this Christmas?
19. ‘A Country Practice’ (Proms) 20 points
20. ‘Moody Chops’ (Jools Holland) 20 points
21. ‘CAMRA Man’ (Dr Who) 20 points
22. ‘Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus’ (Dracula) 20 points
22 BONUSES (5 points each): ‘Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)’ which mentions “vampire lust” and ‘Renfield’s Afoot’ (based on the character from Dracula).
23. Paddy McGuinness/ Freddy Flintoff
24. Paddy McGuinness/ Freddy Flintoff /
25. Top Gear
26. The Profumo Affair – Stephen Ward’s trial began at the Old Bailey on 28th July 1963
27. MR James
28. The Carter Family (‘Worried Man Blues’)
29. ‘Some Like It Hot’ (Marilyn Monroe) 20 points
30. Carry On! (Hattie Jacques) 20 points
31. ‘The Shawshank Redemption’20 points
32. ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’20 points
Round 4: This is your Life
33. Douglas Bader (I really would have liked to mention the Luftwaffe general, Adolf Galland, on the programme with Bader but that would have been a giveaway)
34. Midge Ure 20 points
35. Bob Wilson
36. Arthur Askey (lifted into the air by Gracie Fields when she hugged him)
37. Jimmy Savile 20 points (a really spooky episode – notice how few celebs are prepared to be associated with him in the studio, when you compare other episodes of the show, and how those contributing on VT are generally not the brightest stars in the firmament)
Round 5: Anagrams for All
38. Kriss Akabusi 20 points
39. Donald Sinden
40. Grant Baynham
41. Annie Lennox 20 points
42. Vanessa Feltz 20 points
43. Sally James 20 points
44. Dickie Davies 20 points
Round 6: So-called Comedy
45. Any one of: Warden Hodges/Bilko/Del Boy/Blakey 20 points
46. Any one of: Del Boy/Blakey/Warden Hodges/Bilko 20 points
47. Nerys Hughes (Officer Todd in a Dr. Who episode called ‘Kinda’)5
48. Hattie Jacques in ‘Sykes’ 0
49. Bob Todd 20 points
50. Wendy Craig (‘God Gave us Life’) in ‘Butterflies’ or Paul McCartney in ‘Bread’ – alas not Lionel Blair in ‘Bless This House’ – that episode not written by Ms. Lane. (but still unlucky no bonus for the research there John)
51. ‘The Mistress’
52. Jo Brand 20 points
53. Lenny Henry 20 points
Round 7: Knobheads on Quiz Shows
54. Martin Jarvis (played infamous survivor/cad Sir Duff Gordon in ‘Titanic’)
55. Carol (Vorderman)
56. Mary Anne Hobbs
Round 8: Miserable to Who?
57. NOEL’S HOUSE PARTY
58. UNA STUBBS / SHERLOCK
59. TOMMY WALSH / GROUND FORCE
60. PAUL ROSS / THE BIG BREAKFAST
61. CAROL SMILLIE / CHANGING ROOMS
62. NICK FUCKING KNOWLES / DIY SOS
Round 9: Bitter ex sopap stars
63. Robin Askwith
64. Amanda Burton
65. Ken Barlow
65. BONUS Ty Coch Inn, Porthdinllaen, Llyn Peninsula
66. 54%
67. Nick Wilton, actor and writer of that ‘Playaway’ sketch with Brian Cant, is married to Lynette McMurrough
Round 10: Other Things Besides
68. ‘Mr Nice’ (Howard Marks)
69. Candace Bushnell, guilty author of ‘Sex and the City’ was born in Glastonbury (the one in the USA)
70. Actor Stephen Collins (Captain Decker) plays Stockard Channing’s partner in the dreadful 1998 TVM tug-of-love custody battle An Unexpected Life(the battle is against her sister, not her ex-partner) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ikkCiGRSQQ (about 59 minutes).
71. ‘Zulu’
72. ‘The Wicker Man’ (Dr D tells me that the soundtrack was released in mono 25 years after the release of the film, then in stereo 29 years after).
73. ‘There Is Nothin’ Like A Dame’ from South Pacific’ (1958). 20 points
74. The “linesman” lines of ‘Paintball’ are of course based on ‘If I Were a Rich Man,’ the best known tune from the film ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ (1971 – from the stage musical which began in ’64)
75. ‘Men of Harlech’ in both How Green Was My Valley and ‘Zulu’ (Cetshwayo).
76. ‘The Banana Splits Movie’ (referenced the ‘Chongo’ shout from Gwatkin).
77. Junior Kick Start
78. Peter Purves
Blockbusters
79. Halcyonic Dynamo from ‘Architecture and Morality Ted and Alice’ 20 points
80. Shane McGowan 20 points
81. Hornets (Watford) 20 points
82. Bunny Bell – hero of Boxing Day1935.
83. Jacuzzi is the design pseudonym of the great Steve Hardstaff, responsible for so many brilliant HMHB album covers and inlays – plus, we are told, also responsible for introducing Mr. B to loads of highly influential musical meanderings.
84. Ulverston 20 points
85. Moustache (Simon Blackwell’s band were named after the Loudon Wainwright III album)
86. Band-Its
87. O2 Academy Oxford 20 points
88. Abel Xavier
89. Middlesbrough (Chris Kamara)
90. Annie Lennox – was 65 on 25/12/19 but still not getting her state pension until next Xmas) 20 points
91. Sceptical 20 points
92. Questions 20 points
93. Unthanks (‘King of Rome’)
94.The ICF (who are usually spotted at Mile End tube with Kate Bus in live versions of ‘It’s Cliched’)
95. Zeus / Emil Zátopek. either of those for 20 points
95. 10 point bonus: Zátopek was the most illustrious member of the Dukla Prague sports club (both before and after the Czech army sports club adopted that name) so would have had all the away kit he needed. And with his famously independent spirit, that would probably have been more than he wanted.
96. The Peak Cavern and Boiler Shop were the new venues in 2019, so John gets the points for his finding the “castle” theme (CASTLEton and NewCASTLE).
97. Refs 20 points
98. Stromness 20 points
99. (c) Actually 83½ , including the end bit of ‘The Best Things In Life’ at Oxford. About 95 different songs if we include covers.
100. (d)There were a suprising (to me, anyway) eleven songs played at all eleven gigs in 2019: ‘Renfield’, ‘Terminus’, ‘Colombia’, ‘JDOGs’, ‘Bell Rings’, ‘Harsh Times’, ‘AOR’, ‘DPAK’, ‘Trumpton’, ‘Light’ and ‘Shite’.
4 January 2020
dr desperate
One hardly likes to mention it in reference to Q3, but there’s no “really” at the end of the statue line in ‘Fear My Wraith’, making it a four-worder (unlike “Yeah, right, OK”).
4 January 2020
EXXO
Good point and further blushing apologies. I wonder at what point during the last two and a half decades I inserted that ‘really’ into my own private version, maybe ‘cos it’s scans better, so easier to sing? Got a vague memory of noticing the discrepancy at a gig or two.
Anyway, well played – one thousand and ten points, eh? If I agree not to make you the plastic crown thing, I’ll alter the wording of the question quietly and maybe we can agree never to speak of this again.
4 January 2020
dr desperate
Speak of what again?
5 January 2020
Schoon
Arthur Lowe is also in TOMMY WALSH / GROUND FORCE.
5 January 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
On my non-submitted answers I went with Nick Wilton being a semi-regular on Eastenders, rather than the Crossroads connection.
I particularly enjoyed the Blockbusters round. Can we have future Friday quizzes shoehorned into long-defunct quiz show formats?
6 January 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Quite chuffed to announce I got not just one, but BOTH of the Annie Lennox questions right, giving me a grand total of 40 points on the quiz. Do I get a participation trophy?
6 January 2020
Alice van der meer
You get total respect…
6 January 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Thank you, @AVDM. It’s not often I want the HMHBLP to have “Like” buttons, but this is one of those rare occasions.
6 January 2020
Alice van der meer
I aim to please!
I just usually miss.
7 January 2020
mister tubbs
@Exxo – thanks very much for your highly enjoyable quiz – sorry I didn’t get around to posting my answers, which was just as well, considering some of the embarrassing wrong answers, especially in the This is Your Life round, where I did get Jimmy Saville but I had him down for the Douglas Bader episode, whilst I guessed Kendo Nagasaki for the actual Saville edition. The question that had me most stumped was the dreadful comedy show, I thought about Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club and Frank Spencer before eventually going for Bilko – I’d’ve never’ve guessed Sykes, I remember we watched that show back in the 70’s and thought it was alright, particularly Hat flirting with Corky – I’m now tempted to get the boxset to see if it was really that bad! I think I scored around 560, but that was mostly due to getting quite a few 20 pointers. Thanks again for a great quiz
8 January 2020
EXXO
@ Mr. T – glad you enjoyed it, and that praiseworthy 560 points is exactly what my scoring system set out to achieve, together with the jeopardy as to whether Dr. D could get the thousand.
As for Sykes, it was typical of that kind of apparently harmless TV that you watched because there were only three channels, there was only one telly, there were five in the family, there was only one warm room in the house and I always had the ability to do homework and half watch the telly. You watched stuff while hating its tiny little narrow-mind values, while reading about bigger ideas and dreaming of freer, more open-minded places that the results of the homework might get you to. I hope that spirit persisted into the “bah humbug WTF is this on telly for?” attitude of the whole quiz.
@FTVP Steve – it’s the taking part that counts. Especially ‘cos on the WordPress map of where my participants were based, you, even though you were in Florida, made Alaska show up, looking disproportionately huge in comparison to the rest of the US. That, if nothing else, made me feel as Christmassy in 2019.
8 January 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
@Exxo – given that Alaska makes up nearly 1/5 of the land mass of the US, one might argue that most maps make it look disproportionately small, and perhaps the map you were using was in fact more accurate than most.
8 January 2020
EXXO
I’ve got a Peters projection on my wall here that gets the proportions right, but WordPress uses a particularly North-o-centric projection that really makes Alaska look like it’s about 2/5 of the USA, and outlined in bold it really looked like someone was having a good go at the quiz from there.
(I used to go out with a fabulous Italian woman who was the spit of her off of Northern Exposure. Maybe it was her.)
8 January 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Did you consider that there might be a rabid group of HMHB fans in Alaska, sitting in their outhouses in their MAGA hats, furiously typing away at their BlackBerrys, trying to figure out if Ronald Reagan did any comedy shows, and could he maybe be the answer to Q49?
And if the Northern Exposure woman you’re referring to is Janine Turner, my hat is well and truly doffed, sir.
8 January 2020
gipton teenager
Aaah| Janine Turner aka Maggie O’Connell in Northern Exposure , one of my favourite series to come from over the pond, I think I may have to dig out my DVD of the first series. Great theme tune too. Did your Italian friend have the same attitude as Maggie, Exxo?
9 January 2020
EXXO
I’m getting worried about Leommy. I hope the Xmas quiz didn’t do him any permanent damage.
Also hope I didn’t intimidate other potential quiz-setters. Would be good to get quizzical again one Friday soon.
26 January 2020
lord leominster
Thanks for your concern, Exxo. I am still working on the Christmas quiz. I can’t get past the broadcaster / Wham Christmas jumper question, an easy 20 pointer, apparently. I may have to move on to the next question and come back to it later.
27 January 2020
lord leominster
(I want to answer ‘Planet 24’ but I don’t know why.)
27 January 2020
lord leominster
OK. The least bit of research has revealed to me that Planet 24 was a TV production company and not, as I had imagined, the most unlikeliest of cable / satellite stations. This knowledge has allowed me to move beyond question 8 (of which I believe I have managed to bag the full 20 points). Progress is being made; I’m on the anagrams now.
29 January 2020
lord leominster
Mars a nag.
29 January 2020
EXXO
I think we should have a ban on doing an old Friday Quiz in public a month after the answers went up. It’s like the opposite of spoilers. New quiz needed ASAP.
30 January 2020
dr desperate
I’ll do one tomorrow.
30 January 2020
lord leominster
I’ll get my coat.
30 January 2020
brumbiscuit
I can’t see the harm myself. It’s not like the forum is overburdened with postings right now. Fill yer boots, Leomy! BTW, Leominster has the nicest Wetherspoons I’ve been in…
30 January 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Two, possibly three years for another album is released. Death Pool hit the buffers, what’s to do?
30 January 2020
Parsfan
I’ll do one tomorrow.
Bugger! I had a plan for next week. I’ll have to win John’s now and that’s not very likely.
31 January 2020
dr desperate
In tribute to Round 6 of Exxo’s Christmas Quiz, here’s one about British TV sitcoms. All of them are from the current century.
Q1. Which sitcom featured two characters called Nigel, one of them played by a co-writer of the show?
Q2. Which sitcom (recently revived) featured two characters called Neil, one of them played by a co-writer of the show?
Q3. Which sitcom (which has just completed its second series on Sky One) features two characters called Karl, both of them played by a co-writer of the show?
Q4. Which sitcom featured a character called Carl, played by a co-writer of the show?
Bonus Q5. Which sitcom featured a character called Geoff who did not appear onscreen (though the co-writer of the show did)?
Post your answers here on Groundhog Day, then every day after that.
31 January 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Q2. I think may have actually featured 4 Neils, one of which did not appear onscreen.
31 January 2020
dr desperate
Good point, @Saul.
I won’t lie to you, it featured two, and another two (one of whom did not appear onscreen).
31 January 2020
transit full of keith
Nice quiz for this National Shite Day* but I’m crap with sitcoms**, so I think it’s nul points for me.
Intrigued by the number of writers who give characters in the same programme the same name, though. I would have thought that makes it hard to write a script without causing confusion. But maybe that’s how the hilarity ensues.
* It’s just a view. Apologies to anyone of the other faction. No offence meant.
** Honourable exceptions for Peep Show, The Office, The Young Ones and a couple of others.
31 January 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Q5 Marion and Geoff?
The rest I haven’t a clue….
31 January 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Q4 Catterick?
31 January 2020
dr desperate
It’s not Groundhog Day until tomorrow, so I won’t coment on the suggestions already made, but this is the suitably uncontrived scoring system:
1 point for each sitcom correctly identified;
1 point for each co-writer/actor mentioned;
1 point for each character played by them (first name and surname, please).
That’s 15 answers for you to try and get at home – the very best of luck!
1 February 2020
dr desperate
comment
1 February 2020
dr desperate
In the event of a tie (not yet, @H-Tat!) I’ll ask you to give the two middle names of the other Neil in the original Q2 (a minor character).
Adding another letter to these, as in my previous quiz, should give the name of a person referenced in a Biscuit song title.
1 February 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Sorry for jumping the gun folks!
1 February 2020
Lord leominster
Hendrix – you were too early whilst I was too late. What a pair!
1 February 2020
dr desperate
Since, in a very real sense, every day is Groundhog Day, I can hardly refuse to accept Hendrix’ answers, both of which are correct.
Score so far: Hendrix 2.
Coming up on the rails: Idiot Saul.
2 February 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Q1. I know that it’s Early Doors, but this quiz won’t crack itself. I believe that Duffy, played by Phil Mealey, was really a Nigel. Phil and Nige were the coppers.
Q2. What’s occurring? Well, James Corden played Neil ‘Smithy’ Smith in Gavin and Stacey.
Q3. Thought about this one until I got Sick Of It. Karl Pilkington played a couple of Karls.
Q4. Needed some H-ELP from H-Tat to remember that Bob Mortimer was Carl Palmer in Catterick.
Q5. Rob Brydon was taxi driver Keith Barret in Marion and Geoff.
Thanks Doc, for an excellent quiz.
2 February 2020
hendrix-tattoo
2 points Yippee!
That’s 2 points more than past quizzes.
Great quiz Doc….
2 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
I’d probably have got Marion & Geoff if I’d thought about it a bit longer. Although I’ve a vague memory that Geoff eventually did make an appearance – played by Steve Coogan and possibly only glimpsed momentarily in a mirror – in the last episode?
2 February 2020
dr desperate
Another winner who comes from Earth (I assume), Idiot Saul romps home there with a maximum 15 points.
@Keith, I’m quite prepared to believe M & G associate producer Coogan was mirrored as Geoff, as he played him in the prequel ‘A Small Summer Party’, so that’s an extra point for the all-important incorrect question. Congrats also to Hendrix.
Shall we do the tie-breaker anyway?
2 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
It might have been the prequel I’m remembering.
2 February 2020
IDIOT SAUL
To tie up the loose end of the Doc’s tie-break: Neil, the Baby’s middle names are Noel Edmund. Just an ‘s’ short of getting stuck in a lift with I Ludicrous.
2 February 2020
dr desperate
They didn’t specify the spelling of his middle names, so that’s close enough.
2 February 2020
EXXO
Whoosh. That was quick. A veritable Goodyear AirQuiz, as far as I was concerned. I saw Early Doors and I’ve heard of Gavin and Stacey, but apart from that…
Anyway, my only question (in the absence of Gipton’s Oh-oh-Palindronantonio) is: were the answers of comment 40804 on 02022020 posted at 0220?
Made up though that the beast in the west says no beast from the east this year.
3 February 2020
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Am confused – aren’t there 3 Neils in Gavin & Stacey? (Smithy, Neil the baby, and Nessa’s father)
3 February 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Neil, the baby was named after Nessa and Smithy’s fathers, who were both called Neil. So Smithy’s (unseen) father is a fourth Neil.
3 February 2020
Lord leominster
A big fat ZERO from me for the sit-com quiz and, if you would be so kind as to indulge me for a moment, a massive, swelling 670 points for the 2019 Christmas quiz. I am very pleased with both scores. Apologies to the quizmaster for taking so long to complete the Christmas quiz but I think Joe Strummer summed up the moment really well when (at 5.01 into The Magnificent Seven) he said “F*ckin’ long, innit?”
3 February 2020
EXXo
Leommy – congratulations are in order – 670 is impressive indeed. I’m extremely glad that someone has at last taken the unclaimed bronze medal, and on a personal note I’m particularly happy to see it find a home with you, near the Luggside hermitage of Saint Æthelmod. Tardiness is not something I could ever chide anyone for, but the working out of answers that have already been posted just didn’t make great telly
Anyone got one for this Friday? As ever, I have a flexible range of divertisements available to suit the occasion.
4 February 2020
Lord leominster
Thank you, quizmaster, but no prizes or plaudits can be bestowed or accepted as my results were posted after the deadline. One minute or one month, late is late. For the record my results were pre-Google 615 and post-Google 665 [5 points have been deducted due to previous over-generous self-marking]. Not bad for a lad raised on 1970s pre-watershed BBC1 as parents considered ITV to be too coarse / lowbrow.
As for question 8 that had me stumped [Primark FM]: after I dismissed Planet 24 I was sure the answer was Sky TV, 30 years old at Christmas 2019 and a reference to jumpers (one gifted each Christmas?) alluding to jerseys (yellow or otherwise).
4 February 2020
transit full of keith
I could probably summon up a vaguely-themed fifteen questions or so for Friday, given a fair wind.
5 February 2020
EXXO
Ace. If by chance you can’t, let me know Friday morning.
5 February 2020
transit full of keith
Next to the Intelligent Guitars…
Done your fretwork homework? Think you are needed for the music round? Each question references one of the bands, real or fictional, mentioned in one way and another by HMHB. No fancy scoring systems this time. A point for each question answered without googling (if you don’t know the answer, a lot of them could probably be guessed from some knowledge of the lyrics). Bonus points may be available. I haven’t thought about that. Don’t post answers before Monday.
1. Who were the Biscuit-referenced band, inspired to form after attending that Sex Pistols gig at the Lesser Free Trade Hall (but not from Harpurhey) who Tony Wilson thought had the worst band name of all time?
2. Which band in a Biscuit song might be reasonably expected to blast out ‘Suffragette City’ as an encore cover version?
3. Why might chemist-rota-saluting Crass’s* former frontman Steve Ignorant also salute a coastal activity mentioned in a Biscuit song given a rare live outing in Hull this year? [*See CD inlay for And Some Fell On Stony Ground].
4. Can you name a Biscuit-mentioned Manchester band formed in 1976 who went through many line-up changes and whose original frontman is no longer with us?
5. Can you name another Biscuit-mentioned Manchester band formed in 1976 who went through many line-up changes and whose original frontman is no longer with us?
6. Which disturbing avant-gardists mentioned by HMHB once incongruously did a gig at uber-posh Oundle School at the invitation of the ‘Rock Soc’ and to the consternation of teaching staff?
7. Can you name a band briefly mentioned in a Biscuit song whose abbreviated name in the original language might invite a visit from Building Regs, and whose full name might invite prosecution by them?
8. “We’re not going on after Chas & Dave”. But before Chas & Dave, Chas Hodges and Dave Peacock formed a band named after cigarettes. What was their name?
9. “We are going on before ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Focus’.” Can you recall (without checking) which band this was, on that fateful night?
10. Which band’s name was designed to cause hilarious confusion amongst pub-goers out for a jalfrezi?
11. Which American band, mentioned with disdain in a Biscuit song, are named after a lorry, and mispronounced?
12. Which band mentioned in song have been described as leading lights of the ‘twee pop’ movement, and ‘anorak indie’?
13. Which band in a Biscuit song is a “melancholy nod to all those groups we formed as teenagers which only ever lasted until the next set of traffic lights” (as relayed by Nigel Blackwell to Bobby Svarc of this site)?
14. Someone mentioned in ‘Prag Vec At The Melkweg’ produced a 1978 album by a band mentioned in ‘Irk The Purists’. Can you name them both?
15. What the hell has the 1977 edition of the Cambridge Encyclopaedia of Astronomy got to do with a Half Man Half Biscuit song?
7 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
Goodness. I know what I’ll be doing today with work interruptions.
7 February 2020
EXXO
Great stuff Keith. 14 for me. Had no idea on #8 and had to google #14 to check, but was right, so that doesn’t count.
7 February 2020
hendrix-tattoo
I’ll second what Nigel said Keith great quiz and it’s 2 for me or maybe 3….
‘There Ain’t Half Been Some Clever Bastards’
7 February 2020
lord leominster
I had intended to be an early bird to make up for being absurdly and annoyingly late for the Christmas quiz. All I can declare are one confirmed, one probable, four possible and one lurking somewhere in a corner of my mind.
7 February 2020
Parsfan
I think four with three possibles. A couple more might come to me.
7 February 2020
BOBBY SVARC
1/15 for me
7 February 2020
EXXO
I never knew there was footage of #6 on the internet. Wow. It’s actually the best and most tuneful recording of the band I’ve ever seen or heard.
Some of you may recall that 5-6 weeks ago I posted something very bitter, in the context of University Challenge about a horrible bigoted twat law student at my college, now a gazillion-pound-an-hour lawyer (made millions on the new Wembley ub-contraction-delay case(s), for example). I have no doubt he was one of the protesters who sang “Jerusalem” during that gig.
7 February 2020
EXXO
Sub-contraction delay. Which could have been the translation of an album title from #6.
7 February 2020
EXXO
Aargh #7 I meant. Soz.
7 February 2020
Phyllis Triggs
Great quiz Keith! I’ve a self-certified 6 which should’ve bin 7 (if I’d remembered summat I read last week) and which could go up to 9 when the answers come out. Googling has given me another 4 so that leaves 2 which have me airshipped. Guessed no.6 then googled it to make sure – wonderful! Well done that boy!
7 February 2020
professor abelazar woozle
@Exxo – I’ll have a look for that footage on YouTube, I presume it’s the band mentioned in passing in relation to a certain bit of woodland?
7 February 2020
Bobby Svarc
I’m hoping that they play No. 13 at the RCN in May.. My final gig
7 February 2020
dr desperate
Excellent quiz, TFoK!
12 for me: I guessed the wrong seaside activity for #3 (though on later checking discovered another possible answer, from an entirely different song) and the wrong astronomical reference for #15 (from another entirely different song).
I also made up an answer to #8, combining names from C&D and HMHB, which I prefer to the original.
8 February 2020
EXXO
@Svarco – either that one or She Looks Like Alan Gilzean as the cover.
8 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
@Dr D: Let me guess… Benson & Hodges?
8 February 2020
dr desperate
Correctamundo.
8 February 2020
BOBBY SVARC
They’ve given me the honour of picking the cover for that night, it’s a toss-up between ‘Tiptoe through the Trent End’ and ‘If I had the wings of an eagle’ but I might go for Teenage Head In My Refrigerator by The Deep Freeze Mice.
8 February 2020
EXXO
That is truly wonderful news, and what a very special evening it promises be. Any extra help you need I’ll be there. My birthday’s not for week after that but sounds like it will be a good start to the festivities. Still think you should demand She Looks Like Alan Gilzean.
8 February 2020
BOBBY SVARC
My actual birthday is 26th June which is on a Friday, I’ve booked our local constitutional club for a bit of a ‘do’. Got a turn on, Dawson Smith and the Dissenters, good band. Come along man, the last I heard Dr D and his good lady are coming, Karen and Rog. Park your van up at the back of the club, the gaffer is as sound as a pound. you’d be well looked after.
8 February 2020
EXXO
Really appreciate the invite and really hope to mate. It’s one of the ironies of neither of us working or having an income at the mo’ that you can’t commit to anything much that far ahead cos all you want to do is to have the sort of routine that allows people who have it to take time off from it.
Hey-ho.
8 February 2020
dr desperate
Only one possible cover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aqLwHP4y6Q
9 February 2020
EXXO
Never been so glad the computer’s on mute.
9 February 2020
dr desperate
Anyway, back to the quiz. My answers, without Googling but using this website unless expressly forbidden, were as follows (three incorrect):
1. Crispy Ambulance.
2. (Of course) Pankhurst.
3. He volunteers as a lifeboatman with the Independent Lifeboat Service of Sea Palling in Norfolk, who predate and have no connections with the RNLI, as it happens.
( I guessed wrongly that he might be some sort of sandbank guide. On Googling later I discovered that, as Professor Ignorant, he’s also a Punch and Judy man, as in ‘Fun Day in the Park’.)
4. The Fall.
5. Sad Café. (I suspect this might have caught out a few answerers.)
6. Throbbing Gristle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkf9yUMluDE
7. Einstürzende Neubauten (Collapsing New Buildings – touring this year.)
8. Oily Rags (Mockney rhyming slang for fags. I guessed Benson & Hodges.)
9. (The) Identical Cocteau Twins.
10. Curry Night.
11. REO Speedwagon.
12. Talulah Gosh.
13. Urge For Offal.
14. Conny Plank / Can.
15. The cover of Joy Division’s ‘Unknown Pleasures’ featured the signal from pulsar B1919+21, pictured in the Encyclopedia mentioned. (I guessed some connection with Brian May, whose hair coincidentally is similar to that image.)
10 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF Keith
Those are all correct Dr D. Saves me the trouble of typing them out. 4 and 5 are interchangeable, I suspect Joy Division might have been a popular answer, but allthough founded in 1976 they were called Warsaw till 1978 and didn’t, I think, have any line-up changes (certainly not many).
As for points (not that they make prizes) I did have pub quiz rules in mind (i.e. no artificial help at all) but fair enough, I wasn’t that specific. So let’s say, a point if the answer was got by thinking alone, and half a point if you looked it up on the Lyrics Project?
10 February 2020
dr desperate
In that case I got 10 out of 15 in Jockey Slut.
10 February 2020
transit full of keith
The original astronomical diagram which sleeve designer Peter Saville spotted and reversed onto black is here: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/34/0f/ee/340feeeb66d400dca6c1fe19c955a248.jpg. Also inspiring the eventual manufacture of literally several pairs of oven gloves.
The lorry which inspired the US. rocksters (if inspired is the right word) was the 1915 Reo Speed Wagon, pronounced Rio.
Have a bonus point for the umlaut in (7), if you didn’t look it up.
So Exxo led the field in the first furlong, and was not overtaken.
10 February 2020
Schoon
That was a good quiz. I got none right. One day I’ll do a quiz and know all the answers. One worrying aspect is: I’ve never once in my life wondered, what does Einstürzende Neubauten mean?
10 February 2020
EXXO
That is by far the best I have ever done on any sort of music quiz, and was always mediocre at best on the music round of pub quizzes (even in the days before I finally stopped listening completely to Radio One, which was probably not till about 2005). It seems odd to me that anyone could listen to HMHB without looking up all the references, including the names of all the real bands, and finding out a lot about them. Of course if you can’t hear the names of bands you don’t know (I’d never really noticed the name Steve Malkmus in the media before 2001, and thought the lyric might be Steve Harkness), then that’s understandable, but since the existence of this site, less so.
My one query arising from the quiz is that I knew the Steve Ignorant answer, but must admit that the only HMHB inlay I have still never seen a hard copy of is No-one Cares, so what’s the reference there?
Crass were a massive favourite of Mr. B in his punk years, I know that.
10 February 2020
EXXO
Haha, soz, failing a memory test there (hadn’t read the questions since Friday morning) I also don’t have a copy of And Some Fell On Stony Ground, clearly.
10 February 2020
transit full of keith
@Exxo, ‘Crass Salute the Chemists Rota’ is one of the spoof album sleeves ‘From the Probe Vaults’ in the Stony Ground inlay. But an image search tells me it was reprinted from the ‘Saucy Haulage Ballads’ EP sleeve (which I don’t have).
10 February 2020
EXXO
OK, yes, rings a bell and I have the Saucy HB CD somewhere not too far away. Thanks again for a top, top quiz!
10 February 2020
Pirx the purist
@Schoon,
“Collapsing New Buildings”
10 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
My shite attempt, not that it’s worth much:
1. Joy Division (guess)
2. Pankhurst (non-google)
3.
4 The Fall
5 Buzzcocks
6. Throbbing Gristle
7. Einstürzende Neubauten (non-google)
8. Oily Rags (non google)
9. The Identical Cocteau Twins (non-google)
10. Curry Night (non-google)
11. REO Speedwagon (non-google)
12. Talulah Gosh!
13. Urge For Offal
14. Conny Plank & Sun Ra
15. The quote by one Lloyd Motz on the front cover: Columbia. (sketchy answer at best due to spelling being off)
Happy I had the ümlaut though.
12 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Not shite at all. Assuming you looked up the ones that don’t say ‘non-google’, and there’s half a point for Conny Plank, I think you’re in a bronze medal position on 9 1/2.
12 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
… but hold the front page – it turns out your no. 5 is quite correct, so that elevates you to second place!
12 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
(Joint second if you googled it)
12 February 2020
EXXO
Remind me of their Biscuit-mention ?
12 February 2020
Transit full of keith
Oh yeah good point. As you were then.
12 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
I know they were formed off the back of the gig, but wasn’t sure of any Biscuit reference. Ah well. Fun to have a stab at least.
13 February 2020
Lord leominster
@Exxo, post 792, above. (“It seems odd to me that anyone could listen to HMHB without looking up all the references, including the names of all the real bands, and finding out a lot about them.”)
Curiosity ain’t gonna kill this cat.
13 February 2020
parsfan
Anyone have anything planned for Friday?
If not, I need to get mine out so I can stop thinking up new questions and discovering new answers that invalidate existing questions and force me to come up with more questions to fix the broken ones.
It was such a simple idea to begin with.
19 February 2020
mister tubbs
I’ve got something in the pipeline, but it won’t be ready for another week or two.
20 February 2020
parsfan
Derby Day
Some of this will doubtless seem quite familiar from discussions about The Lux Familiar Cup. A simple enough idea but it started with the intention of one of the questions being a whole quiz in its own right – but then I could only come up with two answers.
So, 25 questions each of which link two Half Man Half Biscuit songs. If that sounds a bit too simple here’s some convolution for you. Some of them will have three or more answers, these surplus titles won’t go to waste as they’ll be required as answers for other questions. You’ll need to decide which two to use and which one(s) are needed elsewhere.
In short – two song titles per derby, each to only appear once, so 50 different songs.
Apologies in advance, I have absolutely no doubt that I’ll have missed a few.
Scoring
• one point per correct song title
• one point if it’s right but should have been somewhere else
• potential half points can be won if you come up with something I hadn’t thought of and can convince me it’s valid and on theme
In, almost, alphabetical order…
1. The Beethoven’s 9th Derby
2. The Blue Peter Derby
3. The Camden Pub Derby
4. The Captain Flack Derby
5. The Fife Derby
6. The First Man In Space Derby
7. The IJsselmeer Derby
8. The India Derby
9. The Island Derby
10. The Jobson Derby
11. The Lemon Derby
12. The Lime Derby
13. The Lilac Derby
14. The Liver Birds Derby
15. The Lizard King Derby
16. The Lord Hereford’s Knob Derby
17. The Map Book Derby
18. The Norfolk Derby
19. The Stereo Derby
20. The Taxi Driver’s Boil Derby
21. The Tesco Derby
22. The Twat Derby
23. The Umlaut Derby
24. The Up And Down Derby
25. The Zoo Derby
As usual, no posting answers just yet but feel free to comment without giving anything away. I’ll post the answers plus some explanation on Monday evening (some will need it, they’re not all as simple as they might appear).
21 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
Ooh, excellent. Thanks for this. Found at least one double so far, tricky!
21 February 2020
parsfan
I think it’s only fair to offer some guidance on one of the questions.
One of the derbies is a homonym with the meaning I’m looking for being the name of a country in its own language. Interpreting it as the English word, which coincidentally could describe the foreign country, could elicit various incorrect answers.
22 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Excellent quiz with some nice lateral thinking required – ta!
22 February 2020
Gagarin
I’m all over question no. 6, thanks.
23 February 2020
cream cheese and chives
Not sure whether this is the best thread to post but it covers so many that I was spoilt for choice. David Vine. Ted Moult. Knobheads on quiz shows. Bertie Mee’s fantastic cut glass accent, Ian Ure before he turned into Man U’s first real donkey centre half, pipe smoking on tv by ‘athletes’. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Quizball.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p02mbcy7/quiz-ball-22121966
24 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Reckon I might have 35/50 on this one. Mostly done on a choppy Newhaven-Dieppe crossing on Saturday, where it distracted me from the heaving of the ferry, and the heaving of my fellow passengers.
24 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
(*Dieppe-Newhaven. Obviously all the heaving confused me).
24 February 2020
dr desperate
Well, I have 48 song titles, but the links to some of them are a bit tenuous, and none involves the name of a country in its own language.
24 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
You’ll kick yourself at that one Dr. D.
24 February 2020
mister tubbs
Great quiz – I’ve come up with 41 songs, but half of them could be completely wrong, I’m assuming no.9 is the country in its’ native language?
24 February 2020
Parsfan
Glad you’re enjoying it. Thanks Mr Tubbs, that explains it more clearly than I would have done.
I’ll post the answers when I get home, so hopefully by 7. If running late it might have to wait until after Mastermind so I can see how much of a knobhead one of my football crowd is.
24 February 2020
dr desperate
Yes, @TFoK, I’m kicking myself. For #9 I had a self-governing Island referred to directly in one song, the name of which in its own language appears homophonically in a second song. One of its (and another country’s) geographical features appears in a third song, and is a not-quite-homophone of the name of another country in its own language, whose name in English is a not-quite-homophone of the subject of the derby.
24 February 2020
John Anderson
TFOK. By coincidence I too was puzzling this one out on a heaving ship, the MS Kong Harald somewhere between Bodo and Trondheim. I’ve got 41 answers with only question 24 completely blank. Ironic, given that the ship was going up and down at the time.
24 February 2020
parsfan
Here’s the answers, hopefully it formats as I intended.
John, feel free to kick yourself with the answers to number 24 – one of the few with no explanation.
Derby Day Fixture List
1. Beethoven’s 9th
Ode To Joyce vs £24.99 From Argos
Ode To Joy being part of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony and the tune playing out at the end of £14.99.
2. Blue Peter
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd vs I Left My Heart In Papworth General
They’ve been cooking on Blue Peter
Now they’re sampling the dishes
“I don’t normally like tomatoes, John
But this is delicious”
…and
What are you doing today?
What have you done with the money?
How much did Singleton pay?
This is one I won’t be surprised to find out someone mentioned in a song I’ve never heard of was a presenter sometime in, or even for, the last 40 years.
3. Camden Pub
Four Skinny Indie Kids vs Get Kramer
Four Skinny Indie Kids
Drinking weak lager in a Camden boozer
…and
So that we can show off to our specialist friends
Go down to the Falcon in Camden and say
“I’ll have a pint for myself and a pint for the ex-MC5”
4. Captain Flack
The Trumpton Riots vs On Finding The Studio Banjo
5. Fife
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train vs For What Is Chatteris…
No frills, handy for the hills, that’s the way you spell New Mills
…and
I may as well be in Ely or St Ives…
Newmills, closer to the Ochils than West Lomond (522m), Fife’s biggest hill and site of an Iron Age hill fort, without being particularly handy for either. Elie, in The East Neuk, great for a long pub lunch and watching cricket when the tide’s out.
I should have contested the spellings and locations years ago.
6. First Man In Space
The Best Things In Life vs Knobheads On Quiz Shows
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
Reckoned he’d beat Gagarin into space
…and
I’ll just guess and hope I’m right
The first man into space was Captain Bligh
7. IJsselmeer
Moody Chops vs Bladderwrach Allowance
No more caterwauling in a minor key
You’re gonna have to croon about the Zuiderzee
And its total reclamation by twenty-o-three
…and
This is where you never want to be
This is where some fella standing next to you may shout
“Do that one about the Zuiderzee!”
Ijsselmeer, formed when the bricked up the Zuiderzee in the 1930s.
8. India
Ready, Steady Goa vs 27 Yards of Dental Floss
He sang a salty song about a girl from Bangalore
A point will still be given for National Shite Day (Calcutta), but you need that somewhere else.
9. Island
Third Track Main Camera Four Minutes vs ITMA
I still don’t want to go to Cuba
‘Cos Cuba’s the new destination
Cuba’s the new Iceland
…and
It’s the Chief Executive, fresh from Reykjavik
The Icelandic for Iceland rather than “island”, eg Thanet, Martinique and Skye. However, as Cuba and Iceland are also islands, Third Track would earn you a point but for the wrong reason.
10. Jobson
You’re Hard vs Hair Like Brian May Blues
Mariella Frostrup does loads of voiceovers but nothing much else yet she seems to get by
…and
Oh I need this situation about as much as I need
The Armoury Show’s entire back catalogue
Ex-wife and ex-band of Richard Jobson.
11. Lemon
Preg Veg At The Melkweg vs If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
And we could go to a Meadowlark Lemon seminar
…and
Oh I could squeeze my lemon ’til my blues went away
If I had possession over Pancake Day
12. Lime
4AD3DCD vs Epiphany
Formed a band and had loads of good songs like
“Love Froth Tuesday”, “Pancake Candy Shoes”
Got a good guitarist, but he’s got a sad barnet
“Kiss Cream Carnival”, “Lime Sky Spooky Pills”
It’s me 4AD3DCD
…and
I’d spent the afternoon becoming increasingly frustrated with the grooming agitator on my lime Dyson
Point given for Pancake Day but you needed that for Lemon and I’ve Just realised I could have had a Pancake Derby just before Pancake Day.
13. Lilac
A Lilac Harry Quinn vs On Passing Lilac Urine
14. Liver Birds
I Hate Nerys Hughes (From The Heart) vs Uffington Wassail
Point for Let’s Not (Carla Lane) but Nerys Hughes and the tune in Uffington Wassail are what I was after. Like Blue Peter, I won’t be surprised if there’s others in here – the cast list on IMDB was incredible (length, not quality) but no one from a skim read I recognised from here.
15. Lizard King
National Shite Day vs Footprints
Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
“Keyboard player required: Doors, Floyd, etc.”
…and
The teenager awoke at mid day. He walked into the back garden. Everything was peaceful except for the complaining note of the woodcrest dying in the leafy thickness. He walked up to the patio chair where his father sat.
“Father?”
“Yes son?”
“I want to borrow your golf clubs.”
Jim Morrison, aka The Lizard King, of The Doors and lyrics from The End (almost).
16. Lord Hereford’s Knob
Keeping Two Chevrons Apart vs Paradise Lost
All of our songs sound the same
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
I’m keeping Two Chevrons Apart
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
You’re the reason why paradise lost
Tonight he’ll be sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob
17. Map Book
She’s In Broadstairs vs Twenty Four Hour Garage People
And as I’m being led out
I get my A to Z out
…and
I’ll have ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas
Ten Kit Kats and a motoring atlas
18. Norfolk
Let’s Not vs On Reaching The Wensum
Set in Norfolk and it’s called
Godzilla eats Diss
…and
I wanna fly my biplane
Low over Swaffham
I wanna wave at astonished rustics
I’m as far from Norfolk as I am from being sure there aren’t any other references, but a “Norfolk” search on here only gave me Swaffham.
19. Stereo
Irk The Purists vs Lark Descending
Give me Love, give me Can, give me Meat Loaf
Give me Rush, give me Marquee Moon
…and
Trying to be Mansfield’s very own
Steve Malkmus
This is my favourite one and I’m tempted to award bonus points to anyone who figured it out. Only tempted, mind. Rush’s lead singer was Geddy Lee and Malkmus was the main man in Pavement, their song Stereo has the following lyrics…
What about the voice of Geddy Lee
How did it get so high?
I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
(I know him and he does!)
20. Taxi Driver’s Boil
Fun Day In The Park vs This One’s For Now
As told to a boil on the cab driver’s neck
…and
As told to a boil on the cab driver’s neck
21. Tesco
Them’s The Vagaries vs L’Enfer C’Est Les Autres
Prepare to lose your dignity
As I ride to victory
Down the aisles at Tesco
Wearing nothing much at all
…and
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die
22. Twat
Surging Out Of Convalesence vs Stavanger Toëstub
Is your child hyperactive, or is he perhaps a twat?
…and
Twat
23. Umlaut
Upon Westminster Bridge vs Depressed Beyond Tablets
Oh help me Mrs Medlicott
I don’t know what to do
I’ve only got three bullets
And there’s four of Mötley Crüe
…and
It’s as bleak as the boondock where stern-faced Neubauten rehearsed
Neubauten being short for Einstürzende Neubauten, though point given for the more obvious Stavanger Toëstub if you didn’t make a twat of it.
24. Up And Down
Song of Encouragement For The Orme Ascent vs Descent Of The Stiperstones
25. Zoo
Floreat Inertia vs Totnes Bickering Fair
I should be standing in a chaos of sunflowers
With a girl from Machynlleth
But I’m down at the Children’s Zoo
Kicking off on the goats
…and
I’m gonna feed our children non-organic food
And with the money saved take ’em to the zoo
You could also have had 27 Yards Of Dental Floss vs The Best Things In Life, but points given here would most likely mean points lost elsewhere.
24 February 2020
transit full of keith
If points are also to be had for ‘Something’s Rotten In the Back of Iceland’ for no 9 and ‘Mileage Chart’ in no.17, I’m on 31 (33 correct answers, but ‘Shite Day’ and ‘Let’s Not’ were used twice). Was completely stumped by 7, 10, 12 and 19.
Thanks again for a diverting quiz!
24 February 2020
parsfan
D’oh!
Definite point for ‘Something’s Rotten’.
‘Mileage Chart’ – slightly tenuous but a motoring atlas is what I’d most associate one with, so have one for that as well. I listened to UFO on the way home as well and it still didn’t occur to me.
At least one obvious one there – I knew there would be and more to come no doubt.
A minor panic on Sunday morning when I realised I’d missed Calcutta in NSD and wasn’t sure if it was still an answer to another question (there was some last minute changes and that was one of the answers to the dropped Granite City Derby).
Well done Keith, currently in the lead.
24 February 2020
mister tubbs
@Parsfan – Thanks again for a terrific and very well thought out quiz. I’ve added up my points, and I’ve got 29, although I had the same as Transit full of Keith with Something Rotten and Mileage Chart, so possibly 31. I had Footprints in the Blue Peter derby, instead of where it should’ve been in the Lizard King derby, where I totally messed up, I was thinking along the lines of Iguana Andy and Ken Livingstone!
25 February 2020
dr desperate
Excellent quiz, @PF!
I got 37, losing odd points on:
#1 (I forgot the bit at the end of ‘£24.99’);
#8 (I had Eno going to the Indies);
#15 (Iguana Andy),
#19 (I got the Pavement but linked it to the stereo speakers in ‘Emerging From Gorse’);
#22 (I had TWAT-ONE in ‘Paradise Lost’);
#23 (the umlaut in Borussia Mönchengladbach from ‘Dean Friedman’);
#25 (the prices at the zoo in ‘Best Things’, also used in #6).
#9 completely airshipped me (though I would argue that Ísland is more of a not-quite-homograph than a homophone of Island), as did #16. My Ups and Downs for #24 were that bobbing thing they do at the Proms in ‘ACP’ and Frank Ifield’s jumping on a windmill in ‘Westward Ho!’
25 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
As far as I got on Friday, oddly I worked at home yesterday and actually worked…
Here’s my work in progress that didn’t get looked at again. 🙁
1.
2.
3. Get Kramer / Four Skinny Indie Kids (Falcon/Camden boozer)
4. Trumpton Riots / Studio Banjo
5.
6. The Best Things In Life / Knobends on Quiz Shows (beat Gagarin into space / Captain Bligh)
7. Moody Chops / Bladderwrack Allowance (the artist formerly known as the Zuiderzee)
8. Ready Steady Goa
9. She’s In Broadstairs / (Thanet)
10. Hair Like Brian May Blues / You’re Hard (used to be in Armoury Shoals / ex-squeeze of Mariella Frostrup)
11. Prag Vac At The Melkweg / If I Had Possession over Pancake Day (Meadowlark Lemon / Squeeze my lemon)
12. Epiphany / 4AD3DCD (Dyson & Sky Spooky Pills)
13. A Lilac Harry Quinn / On Passing Lilac Urine
14. I Hate Nerys Hughes (from the heart) / Let’s Not (Hughes dulled the senses by appearing in it, Carla Lane wrote it)
15. NSD (AKA Jim Morrison, hence the Doors)
16.
17. She’s In Broadstairs / Mileage Chart (A to Z / on the back of a road atlas?)
18. Let’s Not / Upon Reaching The Wensum (“Set in Norfolk” / being a river in Norfolk)
19. 20. Fun Day In The Park / This One’s For Now (As told to a…)
21. Them’s The Vagaries / L’enfer C’est Les Autres (Down the aisles of / I shot a man in…)
22. Stavanger Töestub / Surging Out of Convalescence (one of the shouted expletives/ or is he perhaps a…) (Do I get a bonus for knowing ö is alt-0246?)
23. Irk The Purists /
24.
25. Totnes Bickering Fair / Best Things In Life
25 February 2020
parsfan
We have a winner.
Transit Full of Keith – self-marked as 29 plus points for Something Rotten and Mileage Chart. Final score = 31.
Mr Tubbs – as above (I’ve checked Footprints for Blue Peter references but couldn’t find any). Final score = 31.
Dr Desperate – 37 declared and extra points for Borussia Mönchengladbach and Paradise Lost as it looks like you didn’t use it for Lord Hereford’s Knob. Final score = 39.
Intheshadowoflilly – I marked it as 30 then decided to check ITP for umlauts. I wondered if you were thinking Patti Smith for her guest vocals and many lyrical contributions to Blue Öyster Cult but then…Hüsker Dü. Final Score = 31.
Congratulations to Dr D, this weeks winner (you might have to append “and Friday Quizzes” on the back of your hi-vis) and our three joint runners-up. Thank you all for taking part, taking the time to submit and your feedback – much appreciated.
26 February 2020
Lord leominster
I still don’t quite get the scoring system (points for being wrong?) but no matter as my score was average at best. Some good derbies there. Pleased I got the ‘up and down’ one which I remember from Lux Familiar.
The Blue Peter connection in Footprints must be Peter Purves who also presented Junior Kickstart. Lesley Judd also gets a mention in Gargoyles, of course, so some interesting Blue Peter derby combinations exist.
I remember some other derbies from Baguette Dilemma and I’ve thought of a few new ones too. Not sure they’re obscure enough or that there’s enough of them for a whole quiz, and I certainly couldn’t make the rules suitably contrived.
A good quiz. Much has been gleaned.
26 February 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
I’ll take joint second honours happily. Thanks for compiling Parsfan.
27 February 2020
mister tubbs
Good morning – I’ve got a Friday quiz ready to put on here, providing no one else has got one planned for today?
28 February 2020
dr desperate
Go for it.
28 February 2020
mister tubbs
Thanks Dr.Desperate – Here comes this weeks’ quiz:-
“I LIKE TO WATCH THE ADVERTS”
All the questions relate to TV adverts, and refer to people or products that appear in HMHB songs. Unless stated, all of the answers can be gleaned from the recorded versions of the songs.
1 – “You only fit double-glazing once – fit the best – Everest” – who was the face of Everest?
2 – Who fronted the driving safety campaign with the catchphrase “Clunk – Click – Every Trip?
3 – Which politician promoted Red Leicester cheese?
4 – Which “musician” who has presented the National Lottery admitted to having a crush on the Cadbury’s Caramel bunny rabbit?
5 – This famous sportsman who has released an album on Probe Plus, (according to what one reads) has advertised Shredded Wheat?
6 – Which famous goalkeeper, as well as advertising Coca Cola, featured in a famous ad promoting “El Conte Ingles” suits in the early 80’s?
7 – Which famous actress whose roles have included Miss Haggerd and Beattie Plummer appeared in an advert for British Rail, where she attempted to get to her destination by train ahead of Jackie Stewart who went by road, and which featured the catchphrase “Think again – Take the Train”
8 – Name two people who have appeared in adverts promoting the Green Cross Code – (1 pt for each)
9 – Actress Jenny Logan who has appeared in Dixon of Dock Green and the Two Ronnies, promoted which product, which could get rid of dog and tobacco smells; the advert for which should’ve included a warning “Don’t try this at home”?
10 – This lady advertised Weight Watchers, which may have been aimed at her ex (both have been mentioned in HMHB songs), judging from the amount of time he allegedly spends in pizza parlours? (1 pt for each)
11 – Which American actor voiced over a series of films promoting various British cities, including Birmingham, (featuring Birmingham New Street and the Aston Expressway), Portsmouth and Aberdeen? He didn’t seem to get round to visiting East London.
12 – Which popular children’s TV character advertised Quaker Oats, although they could just as easily have been asked to promote Strongbow?
13 – Which actor, whose birthplace was very handy for the hills, advertised “Hanky Panky”, the kind of corn puff snack that might be on the shopping list of the visitor to the 24 hour garage?
14 – Which famous goalkeeper advertised kids shoes in the 1970’s, which featured animal tracks, (I think they were made by Clarkes), with the tag line “What more could a boy want from a pair of shoes?”
15 – Which comedian is the face of Premier Inn?
16 – According to an interview, who is the face of Home Bargains, and also a regional announcer on the railways?
17 – Which actor who has also run a brewery, which appears to have gone under, knows where things are in Homebase?
18 – “Naughty but Nice” was a series of adverts for fresh cream cakes in the 70’s featuring various celebrities of the time. Which Celebrity Squares regular appeared alongside Pat Coombes, Tommy Cooper and Cyril Fletcher?
19 – Which band, named after a product mentioned in an HMHB song, recorded the song for the Panty Smile sanitary products ad?
20 – Which bitter ex soap star who disappeared to the Cotswolds, got the chance to show off his golf swing in a dreadful ad for Kellogs Fruit ‘n’ Fibre?
21 – Which entertainer, mentioned as one of the table tennis contestants in a live version of Evil Gazebo appeared in a series of ads encouraging kids to “Learn to Swim”?
22 – Which children’s TV presenter was the almighty face of Powergen during Italia 90?
23 – Whose ball crushing exploits in an ad for Carling Black Label suggested he was more than qualified to play the role of Oddjob in Goldfinger?
24 – Which sportsman cried himself a bath of tears in an advert for Walkers crisps?
25 – Who appeared alongside Britney Spears in an ad for Pepsi, but who might’ve been more suited to promoting the beers of Hall and Woodhouse?
26 – Which actor, who was allegedly always on the lookout for a knighthood, was the very distinctive voice of Ronco?
27 – Which Bristol based taxi driver used to promote British Gas, whilst hosting the Cookability Roadshow?
28 – Which D list celebrity accompanied Danny Baker on the Daz doorstep challenge?
29 – Which two celebrities who appear in HMHB songs fell foul of Midge Ure and the Humphreys during the famous Unigate milk adverts(1 pt for each)?
30a – Believe it or not – In the 70’s adverts did occasionally appear on the BBC – Beanz Meanz Heanz was one of the more frequently played adverts on the BBC, but can you name the comedian, not mentioned by HMHB, who often ended the advert covered in baked beans?
30b – Still on the subject of adverts on the BBC, Scunge was a brand name regularly advertised on the BBC by which celebrity(part of a famous double act)?
31 -Which cartoon character, who could easily be misheard for an inventor who appears in an early HMHB song, was also on the payroll of Heinz.
The “God Gave Us Life” Round.
All of the answers to the following, have been mentioned in “God Gave Us Life” – some of them have only been mentioned in live versions, so they’re worth 2 points each
1 – Sportsman who has appeared in adverts for Morrisons supermarkets
2 – Glaswegian who used to drink Grants Scotch Whiskey
3 – Double act who were never short of bog rolls thanks to their ad for Dixcel toilet rolls
4 – Dancer who was fond of Harp lager
5 – Comedy actress who used to advertise McVities and Polycell
6 – Balding sportsman who promoted Actimel health drinks
7 – Actress who took part in a threesome with Gareth Hunt and Diane Keen, in an attempt to get hold of some of Gareth’s coffee beans in a Nescafe advert.
8 – Actress from the Liver Birds who advertised Heinz Baked Beans
9 – Dancer who has received the Farm Foods phone call
10 – Actress who has taken her final Churchill up the stairs to the stars
By my calculations, there are 48 points on offer. I’ll post the answers at the beginning of next week. Good luck.
28 February 2020
parsfan
One quick read through, I might just be in double figures if a couple of guesses go my way. I’ll try to give it a proper go over the weekend.
Cheers
28 February 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Tough one this. I have a rubbish memory for this kind of thing and also spent a few years out of reach of British telly. I’m sure of about five answers and have another handful of guesses…
2 March 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
Just come back to this after the weekend, I’m only missing three answers I think. Though some are stabs in the dark at best.
3 March 2020
mister tubbs
I’ve got the answers now for last Friday’s quiz:-
1- Everest – Ted Moult
2 – Clunk Click – Jimmy Saville
3 – Red Leicester – Ken Livingstone
4 – Cadbury’s Caramel – Nick F. Knowles
5 – Shredded Wheat – Jack Charlton (his album “Jack Charlton Reads the Book of Job was promoted on the inside of the Cammel Laird Social club album)
6 – Coca Cola/El Conte Ingles – Luis Arconada
7 – British Rail – Hattie Jacques
8 – Green X Code – David Prowse and Alvin Stardust
9 – Jenny Logan was responsible for Shake ‘n’ Vac
10 – Weight Watchers – Sarah Ferguson/Duke of York
11 – Telly Savalas promoted Birmingham
12 – Quaker Oats – Windy Miller
13 – Hanky Panky – Arthur Lowe
14 – Clarkes animal shoes – Bob Wilson
15 – Premier Inn – Lenny Henry
16 – Nigel Blackwell is the “face of Home Bargains” and Merseyrail’s answer to Oswald Laurence
17 – Homebase – Neil Morrissey
18 – Naughty but Nice – Willy Rushton
19 – Panty Smile – Nirvana (advert appeared on The Day Today)
20 – Fruit ‘n’ Fibre – Ross Kemp
21 – Learn to Swim – Rolf Harris
22 – Powergen – Peter Purves
23 – Carling Black Label – Len Ganley
24 – Walkers crisps – Paul Gascoigne
25 – Pepsi – Brian May
26 – Ronco – Donald Sinden
27 – British Gas – Noel Edmonds (if anyone sees a taxi being driven around Bristol on Friday with a shop window dummy in the passenger seat, it could be Noel)
28 – Daz – Paul Ross
29 – Unigate – Benny Hill and Rod Hull
30a – Tim Brooke-Taylor usually got covered in Baked Beans in spoof ads on The Goodies
30b – Rod Hull and Emu advertised Scunge during Emu’s Broadcasting Company
31 – Heinz – Yogi Bear
“God Gave Us Life”
1 – Morrisons – Andrew Flintoff
2 – Grants Scotch Whisky – Gordon Jackson
3 – Bog Rolls – Little & Large
4 – Harp – Lionel Blair
5 – Polycell – Wendy Craig
6 – Actimel – Bobby Charlton
7 – Nescafe – Una Stubbs
8 – Heinz Baked Beans – Molly Sugden
9 – Farm Foods – Len Goodman
10 – Churchills – Thora Hird
well done to everyone who had a go, looks like Intheshadowoflilly may be the one to beat this week
3 March 2020
transit full of keith
Cheers for that Mr.T. I was surprised to find I had eleven in the end, more than half lucky guesses. If you’re in need of a tie-breaker, you could ask which HMHB-referenced performer did a voiceover for a BP ad back in 2001…
4 March 2020
john anderson
Inspired by Parsfan’s splendid derby quiz I have devised one of my own along the same lines. I don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes if they’re compiling something themselves but I’d be happy to post int on Friday if you would like me too.
4 March 2020
parsfan
10 here.
I was wondering where Lineker was name checked but couldn’t think who else it could have been. Still wondering about Peter Purves.
Thanks Mr T.
4 March 2020
lord leominster
Only 5 points scored here, I’m afraid. I’m concerned that 40% of my correct answers were the names of confirmed paedophiles but to be fair HMHB did warn us about 50% of the 40%. Also pleased that I got one of the two BBC adverts – classic Goodies.
5 March 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
I got 25 plus all ten of the bonus God Gave Us Life questions.
Adjudication required on these:
5) I had Fred Titmus as he did advertise Shredded Wheat
8) As well as Shane Fenton I had (Third Rate) Les Gray of Mud
29) I had Bob Geldof for milk ads as well as Rod Hull
Up to you Mr Tubbs.
6 March 2020
mister tubbs
Well done to Intheshadowoflilly, the winner with at least 39 pts(I’ve given you Fred Titmus), you’ll have to remind me which songs Bob Geldorf and Les Gray appear in, as I’ve gone blank on those two!
Also well done to Transit Full of Keith with 11, Parsfan with 10 and Lord Leominster with 5
7 March 2020
Intheshadowoflilly
@John Anderson, did you have that quiz lined up? Need something to while away a slow Friday at work!
13 March 2020
John anderson
I’ll try and put it together later for you.
13 March 2020
John Anderson
@intheshadowoflilly To counter the low drone of your Friday workplace treadmill and for anyone else who’s interested, here is my version of the HMHB Derby Quiz. There will doubtless be bones of contention and certainly some tenuous links but it follows the same format as the previous one. Chapeau to @Parsfan for the original idea. Shall I reveal the answers on Monday? Enjoy.
1. The 1976 Olympic Podium Derby
2. The Dad’s Army Derby
3. The Eurovision Song Contest Derby
4. The Detroit Derby (possible bonus)
5. The Royal Couple Derby
6. The Ultravox Derby
7. The BetVictor Southern Premier South Derby
8. The Magpie Derby
9. The Winter Olympics Derby (possible bonus)
10. The Venus Rosewater Dish Derby
11. The ITV Sport Talent Derby (possible bonus)
12. The Matador Records Derby
13. The Agony Aunt Derby
14. The “Those Were The Days” Derby
15. The SPOTY Derby
16. The Ex Republic of Ireland Derby
17. The Derby Derby
18. The First Division A Derby
19. The Velvet Underground Derby
20. Lastly (and rather self-indulgently) The Places I’ve Worked For Derby
13 March 2020
parsfan
There’s an Ultravox derby? I briefly looked for one when doing mine, similarly Derby, but gave up too easily. Will try harder this time – nothing better to do this weekend now.
13 March 2020
John andErson
@Parsfan Both of those answers are a little oblique I’ll grant you. I think quite a few of us will be at a loose end the next two weekends. Might go and watch Haringey Borough.
13 March 2020
transit full of keith
Struggling with number 6. It means nothing to me.
13 March 2020
parsfan
Two weekends? I’ll be surprised if another ball gets kicked this season.
14 March 2020
Alice van der meer
Sod football, I’ve got a holiday in Snowdonia (hey, that would be a good one for a Cardiff-based Dead Kennedys tribute act!) coming up – I shall be royally peeved if I miss my five mile hike around the Ogwen lake!
(I’m sure there’s a song about that somewhere…)
14 March 2020
Lord leominster
Trouble is these days you never see a dog on the pitch.
14 March 2020
JOHN ANDERSON
@parsfan I fear you’re right. Haringey Borough game was off too.
14 March 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
@Alice, hope you still get your jaunt up Tryfan. Got a similar situation with a Lakes trip coming up. No better place to self-isolate than remote hillsides, but it depends on whether your accommodation is still open, I suppose.
I like the idea of a Dead Kennedys tribute ‘Holiday In Snowdonia’, I think Exxo suggested this on here too a while back. “It’s time to face what you most fear / Sprayway kagoule won’t help you here…”
15 March 2020
Alice van der meer
It’s the accomodation that’s the worry as it’s a fairly elderly demographic where we are staying (we are now well into our forties and are still the youngsters…), but it’s all self catering lets, so hopefully… fingers crossed… If it does all go mammaries skyward, I’m taking the time off anyway and doing an extra week on the allotment instead.
15 March 2020
parsfan
I have answers for 32 that I think work and, using a couple of spare answers for which I don’t have questions, can manage guesses at the self-indulgent one.
Ta John.
16 March 2020
JOHN ANderson
Do you want me to reveal the answers now or would you prefer to continue pondering the remaining ones?
17 March 2020
EXXO
I’ve just finished decorating, in a place with no internet. It was very irritating, and I doubt it has made the rooms look bigger. Not half as much as smashing down a couple of the walls, at least.
Anyway the upshot is I’m back now, I’d like to have a go at it this evening, before you put up the answers, if that’s OK.
The email account I use for HMHB matters hasn’t been checked for a month – apologies – and I’ll get back to several of you this evening.
17 March 2020
John Anderson
@EXXO Hope you enjoyed the quiz. Let me know when you want me to reveal the answers. Given your forensic knowledge and examination of all things HMHB, I’m pretty certain you’ll unearth some hitherto undetected oversight or error on my part. Them’s the vagaries…
18 March 2020
EXXo
Fire away, Jon, and I won’t pick any significant holes I’m sure. I had a good go and got most of the pairs of references (sounds like not quite as many as Parsfan Paul), but I was just lacking the stamina to confirm which songs they appear in (and therefore, if Paul’s “each song only once” rules still apply, not sure about some).
Amazed that there have only been 4 SPOTY winners referenced in the lyrics that I can think of (plus the one nomination for the overseas).
Three ace quizzes here while I’ve been away. I’m thoroughly impressed. Didn’t they do well?
18 March 2020
John Anderson
For those of you (I reckon it’s about two) who are awaiting the results of my HMHB Derby Quiz, cue drum roll…
1976 Olympic Podium
Whiteness Thy Name Is Meltonian v A Lilac Harry Quinn.
Hot favourite Dwight Stones won a disappointing bronze in the high jump and Dick Quax took silver in the 5000m in Montreal behind Lasse Viren.
Dad’s Army
Descent Of The Stiperstones v Mate Of The Bloke.
Warden Hodges and Arthur Lowe. I thought about awarding a point for With Goth On Our Side’s mention of the verger, but it clearly isn’t a direct reference to the character of Maurice Yeatman so brilliantly portrayed by Edward Sinclair.
Eurovision
Whit Week Malarkey v False Grit
Vicky Leandros won representing Luxembourg in 1972 with Apres Toi (later Come What May) and Lynsey de Paul came second in 1977 with the UK’s entry Rock Bottom in a duet with Mike Moran.
Detroit
Get Kramer v On Passing Lilac Urine
(Wayne) Kramer of the Michigan city’s finest MC5 and Eminem (aka Slim Shady). Bonus point for Nove On The Sly which mentions Detroit.
Royal Couple
Venus In Flares v Rod Hull Is Alive – Why?
The Duke Of York (Prince Andrew) and Sarah (Ferguson).
Ultravox
The Bane OF Constance v Prag Vec at the Melkweg
Midge Ure and Conny Plank who produced three Ultravox albums including Vienna.
Bet Victor SPL
Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite v The Referee’s Alphabet
Farnborough Town (currently 12th) and Yate (flirting with relegation) are both in this division.
Winter Olympics
Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal v Malayan Jelutong
Luge and Bobsleigh. Bonus point for Uffington Wassail whose downhill lady Vreni Schneider who won three golds, a silver and a bronze at the Winter Olympics.
Magpie
I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves) v Four Skinny Indie Kids
Presenter Tony Bastable and Murgatroyd which was the name of the show’s cartoon magpie mascot.
ITV Sport
Bob Wilson Anchorman v A Country Practice
Jim Rosenthal and Elton Welsby. Bonus point for Dickie Davies Eyes.
Venus Rosewater Dish
Ready Steady Goa v Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis
(Martina) Navratilova was Ladies Champion and lifted the famous trophy a record nine times. Virginia Wade won it in 1977.
Matador Records
Irk The Purists v Botteneck At Capel Curig
Both The Fall and Sleater-Kinney have had records out on the label.
Agony Aunt
Architecture and Morality Ted and Alice v Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years
Miriam Stoppard and Claire Rayner.
Those Were The Days
Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo v ITMA
Mary Hopkin had a 1968 number one hit with the song which was produced by (Paul) McCartney.
SPOTY
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess v San Antonio Foam Party
Deep Blue which was cruelly overlooked and Greg (Rusedski) who won it in the fallow year of 1997.
Ex Republic of Ireland
Fix it So She Dreams Of Me v RSVP
Jim Beglin (15 caps) and John Byrne (23 caps 4 goals)
Derby
Terminus v Left Lyrics In The Practice Room
Inter’s end on derby day and Mart Poom the Estonian keeper who made 146 appearances for Derby County (also an ex-Hornet).
First Division A
I Went To A Wedding… v This One’s For You
Gent (champions in 2015) and Standard Liege (10 titles) are both members of the Belgian top flight, formerly known as the Jupiler League.
Velvet Underground
Alehouse Futsal v New York Skiffle
The opening tracks on each side of the Velvets’ legendary debut album are Sunday Morning and Heroin.
Places I’ve Worked For
P.R.S. Yearbook – Quick, The Drawbridge v CORGI Registered
IRN (1987-2004) and ITV (freelance).
19 March 2020
Parsfan
So you didn’t work in a “brothel in Palermo” then.
19 March 2020
transit full of keith
A bit of controversy might be part of this game’s appeal. Excellent quiz. I’ve scored dismally on the above, but have some alternatives for a few answers, some of which might pass muster:
3) ‘Song for Europe’?
5) ‘Architecture & Morality Ted & Alice’? (“nauseating bashfulness of early Diana … commemorative teatowels” – though to be fair I can’t pair this with a mention of Charles
12) ‘Lark Descending’? (“Steve Malkmus” on Matador Records)
13) ‘You’re Hard’? (“Mariella Frostrup” does a sex column in the Guardian)
19) Look Dad No Tunes? (“put on some Velvets”)
19 March 2020
Parsfan
@Keith I think I have most, if not all, of those as well. I’ll see tonight.
19 March 2020
john anderson
@TFOK I don’t think there are any Prince Charles references anywhere (although he may be a doyen of topiary for all I know). I thought about the Duke Of Westminster and his good lady wife but I think they’re aristocrats rather than royals. I had no idea Mariella Frostrup has a Guardian column, I assumed she did nothing much else other than voiceovers. Other than that, fair play to you.
@Parsfan: I failed the audition.
19 March 2020
parsfan
@John
From your answers I have 21 points.
I also had all five of Keith’s alternatives and I think you’re giving four of those (not AMTaA).
My own challenges:
1 – ’76 Olympics – I had Quality Janitor for, Alberto Juantoreno, the Cuban with the eight-foot stride, who won gold in the 800 metres.
3 – Eurovision – as well as Song For Europe I had Uffington Wassail for Dana International, the “Cher impersonator” and Eurovision winner.
9 – Winter Olympics – I unwittingly had Uffington Wassail, again, for Vreni Schneider – Queen of the Slopes.
15 – SPOTY – Gazza in Numanoid Hang-glide, 1990.
20 – My unused answers to question 15 were the previously alluded to San Antonio Foam Party and Every Time A Bell Rings with a guess at Sky (given the real answers maybe not that far fetched).
Thanks for that – it kept me occupied for much longer than I intended.
19 March 2020
John anderson
Actually I have worked at Sky but the ETABR reference completely bypassed me. Schoolboy error. I oroginally
had Channel 4, but that would have duplicated ACP. Award yourself extra points on all of these. I’m now quietly dreading Exxo’s input.
19 March 2020
transit full of keith
8 points from your original answers and bonuses so 12 in total.
Tim Henman was second to Greg Rusedski in SPOTY 1997. Your derby pairing does make me wonder if ‘Deep Blue, I voted for you’ and “Tim and Greg … are in fact automatons” came off the same Blackwell notebook page.
20 March 2020
CARRIE aNNE
Bobby Charlton (God Gave Us Life) won the SPOTY Lifetime Achievement award in 2008.
20 March 2020
Lux inferior
Wade & Wiggo are another couple of SPOTY winners mentioned in lyrics, as recently alluded to by Exxo.
20 March 2020
Lux inferior
Very late supplementary Friday quiz…name the 3 Overseas SPOTY winners referenced in lyrics.
20 March 2020
Bobby Svarc
Jack Nicklaus Martina Navratilova Greg Norman
21 March 2020
John anderson
I clearly haven’t thought this one through, have I?
21 March 2020
EXXo
As well as for SPOTY, I also had Gazza down in an alternative three-way Magpie derby with messrs Boam and Venison.
In the BetVictor SLPS I also had Swindon (Supermarine) v. Salisbury (Plain)
Winter Olympics-wise, has anyone said Beijing v. Innsbruck yet?
In the Derby derby, there perhaps ought to be a place for the west end of Derby from the “it’s only a ruddy pigeon” song, as we call it our house.
A few of my non-derby royal couples were King Euphoria & Queen Victoria, KoHV and Queen of Quick Wit, the Pharaoh* and his wife, the Queen’s Arse and Firkin … I did have Charlie (on the sly) or Chas paired with early Diana as well as the Duke of York and Sarah, and I worked hard, but ultimately in vain, to couple up any combinations of a member of Queen,the King of Welsh Goth, Bonnie Prince Billy, Prince the dog, the (Queen of) Sheba, Her Majesty, marvellous, the King of Thebes or Albert Hammond.
Oh and if you look at the arse end of the Wikipedia page for Those were the Days you’ll perhaps appreciate why the Mugabe government was briefly in my derby fixture there versus Mary Hopkin, given that you’d said it was a bit obscure and tenuous …
*the Pharaoh Akhenaten did of course claim to marry the Sun, Ra (sorry)… but not till he’d renamed it the Aten (so no need to check my facts there, then).
21 March 2020
EXXo
Of course one might reasonably assume that if “Hey, Loius” refers to a thirteenth-century King of France, he might also occasionally be heard to request “fetch my stick Margaret,” for example when the royal couple were babysitting proud young Edward for Margaret’s sister Ellie.
21 March 2020
lux inferior
A very short quiz (into which has gone a disproportionate amount of research) on the subject of footballers referenced in HMHB song lyrics:
• Ranked in order, which three clubs are most represented, and by how many ex-players each?
• Which club from outside England is most represented by ex-players, and by how many?
I’m just after teams and numbers, not individual player names. First entirely correct answer wins…ooh, let’s see…perhaps a keeper’s sweaty jocks would be apt, bearing in mind 13 of them get a mention.
27 March 2020
EXXO
Outstanding quiz idea – more fun than the theme I had in mind for today. Hope that once we’ve got these answers you’ll use those hours of data-gathering for a good few more supplementary questions.
Will be more fun if people don’t post any partial answers, only when they think they’ve got the lot, and if you only confirm whether or not they’ve got the lot entirely correct?
Think I know the highest number one, and have a few other educated guesses that need researching now…
27 March 2020
EXXO
Does the top team have six players, the next two four equal and the overseas club three?
27 March 2020
EXXO
I’m guessing I should be looking for a 5th player for one of my two clubs with four?
27 March 2020
Lux inferior
Cheers Exxo, and apologies for shoving in ahead of you if you already had something planned for today.
I had a similar plan in mind to your suggestion, in that I’d only confirm once people had got the lot correct. It appears from your subsequent message that this could be one of the shortest-lived HMHB quizzes in memory. Your last but one post is spot on. Name those teams!
27 March 2020
EXXO
I’ll let others have a bash if that’s OK – since you’ve confirmed my numbers that’s all I need!
I’ve also been working out who would win a 3-a-side competition (fixed keepers) between all clubs with at least 3 HMHB-referenced players. I think we can safely say it would be neither of those with 4 players referenced, and I reckon I’ve got it down to three clubs, of which the home 6 and the overseas 3 would probably contest the best final.
27 March 2020
Lux inferior
Supplementary question:
Which six overseas clubs are doubly represented in the lyrics?
27 March 2020
dr desperate
A reminder of current government advice, in the form of a Biscuit cento:
Outbreak
You know somebody’s got a cough
Short term sweat, lying in bed until noon
It’s spreading like pneumonia, we will all fall down
Are we living in the last days?
The match was abandoned
Who needs the library or the pub?
Those on the ward, doctor desperate, the passing nurse:
“Not enough hospital beds. Shortage dawns”.
My response to that was this:
Regulations to keep me secure.
1. I simply can’t walk out the door
Restrictions on visiting
Quick, run, hide, here comes Dave Stewart
Hope for an answer in the distance.
2. I’m walking down the road, to the back area of the shop
Buying a loaf and coming straight home
Eggs, bread, cigs, milk (no bog roll)
And when I reached my house, gonna wash away.
3. Take a 5-mile hike around the Ogwen lake
In my Dick Quax running shoes
It fills me with joy to see moshers out jogging
Keeping two chevrons apart.
Based on those calculations I stayed at home
Exactly where I was and suffered endless Feltz
Facebook, Gogglebox, wine
In Lower Nowhere I will stay.
Roll on October.
29 March 2020
EXXO
Nothing but total respect for Doctor Desperate.
I presume you done got national acclaim.
And it may well be essential,
But it could be more dramatic if you know what I mean:
In all the villages and towns
TBA were on – your evening of swing has been cancelled
Fun day in the park? Somebody’s got a cough.
Teenagers spitting needlessly. Mayhem, Police cars.
I go and pick the wife up
She works at Marks and Spencers
L’enfer c’est les autres
Charged with annoying the nation,
Careering down the aisles
Like one big psychopathic carnivore,
Careering out of Boots,
Without due care and attention.
Sainsbury’s security? Like I’m dead scared.
Used to shop at the Aldi.
standing in the middle of a long queue.
Showsec don’t let me in.
Entering Poundland, I nodded to an assistant and hurried to the back area of the shop where I could browse in comfort amongst the organised chaos, and marvel at the fact that should it be my desire, I could return home with a bog roll.
“One pound thirty-five”, as opposed to: “That’ll be one pound please, sir”.
Something’s rotten at the back of Iceland. My story seems so tragic. I try to put everything into perspective, set it against the scale of human suffering.
And I thought of the Nairobi slums, Sierra Leone, Chad, Chatteris and the children of the Calcutta railways.
This works for a while
But then I encounter
LES AUTRES.
On every public right of way.
This narrow path belongs to you
Walk on through.
I’ll just walk in the road,
Embrace the margins.
Carry on walking, don’t want to get talking.
Praise for the wardens ready to fine
Anyone caught saying “that bad cold you’ve got, that’s the …”
And you had to go to hospital
Now you are gone forever
You’re gonna need a hand with those funeral arrangements
In the mortuary, in the mortuary,
There’s a wager between the staff and me that
The cemetery’s full. Carry on cremating.
30 March 2020
dr desperate
Thanks for that Exxo, I was thinking I’d emptied the dancefloor.
I was trying not to be morose in any way, but unfortunately when it comes to things such as this, it just doesn’t work.
30 March 2020
EXXO
Anyway, those answers:
Spurs – 6 players referenced – Gilzean, Crooks, Brazil, Gazza, Ruddock, Friedel
Manchester United – 4 – Charlton, Stiles, Crooks, Brazil
Liverpool -4- Beglin, Venison, Friedel, Ruddock.
Most-referenced overseas outfit Juve- 3 – Zoff, Rossi, Zidane
Other overseas outfits with 2 referenced: Real ( Puskas, Zidane), Valencia (Kempes, Zubizaretta), Bordeaux (Bell, Zidane), Galatasaray (Venison, Friedel), Udinese (Zoff, Zico) and Napoli (Zoff, Zola).
I was in attendance one of Zola’s first substitute appearances in serie A in 1990, as he teamed up with El Diego towards the end of this memorable match – two nil down with two minutes remaining – to push Napoli towards the scudetto:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-bpZ5vAQfo
As I mentioned, my cranium stadium also hosted an imaginary tournament between all clubs with at least 3 players referenced by HMHB.
Juve (Zoff, Zidane, Rossi) thrashed Spurs (Friedel, Brazil, Gazza) in the final, after those clubs had respectively beaten Blackburn (Friedel, Beglin, Svarc) and Blackpool (Farm, Mortensen, Wizard) in the semis. Friedel was lucky with the draw that he never had to play for two clubs at once (ditto various others). As you can see, the United four lacked a keeper and the Liverpool four lacked much element of skill.
Also taking part were Newcastle and Middlesbrough, neither of which fielded a recognised keeper. The latter had Stiles sent off towards the end of their sixteen-nil defeat to Juve in the first round (impressive, as all matches were ten minutes each way). Sunderland (Poum, Venison) tried to register John Byrne, but it was over-ruled by the Federation of International Folk Archetypes, and anyway restricting it to those eight clubs made it neater.
30 March 2020
Lux inferior
Brilliant, Exxo (not just the the 100% correct answers, but also the imaginary tournament narrative). Anyone would think you’d already researched this. I’d hoped Galatasaray might perhaps catch you out.
How about a further supplementary question?
Which are the only three current Premier League teams with no lyrical player representation?
30 March 2020
EXXO
Damn. I never even bothered writing the ones with only one player down, and short-term memory is nothing like the long-term these days …but I know right away 16 Prem outfits that have at least one player, so it’s a question of getting rid of one in a three-from-four scenario. Two of them promoted last year and two no-mark coastal towns that don’t deserve their places.
30 March 2020
Chris The Siteowner
Three Premiership outfits and Norwich.
30 March 2020
EXXO
OK, Peter Grummit played for one of the no-mark coastal towns that don’t deserve their places. So the three “HMHB no-marks” are Sheff Utd, Norwich & Bournemouth. I would love it, love it, if it’s those last two plus Brighton to go down.
30 March 2020
Lux inferior
Bravo, Exxo.
As a minor, mildly interesting aside, the only Wolves representative (Bob Wilson) never actually played for their first team.
One more for today: which country outside England has the greatest number of clubs represented, and how many (according to my research)?
30 March 2020
EXXO
Professional clubs at non-youth level?
(so, for example, Alan Brazil’s Celtic youth career wouldn’t count?)
30 March 2020
Lux inferior
Yep. Too bloody complicated otherwise! I will, of course, stand to be corrected.
30 March 2020
EXXO
I’ll tot up my answers on that one later tonight, but here are some counter-questions:
1.Which two players mentioned by HMHB have won the English league & cup double?
2.Which player mentioned by HMHB won the domestic double in his first season playing in a new country?
3.Which player mentioned by HMHB has won the European Cup (AKA Champions League) most times?
4. Which HMHB-referenced player has won his domestic league most times?
5. Which HMHB-referenced player saw the World Cup Final as potential revenge?
6. Which HMHB-referenced player was sent off in the World Cup final?
7. Which two players mentioned by HMHB have both appeared in consecutive FA cup finals? Which other got injured in the semi so missed out on consecutive final appearances?
8. Who is the only player mentioned by HMHB to play in more than one FA cup final and be victorious in each match he played?
9. But which other player did not lose an FA cup final, and has played in more Wembley FA cup final matches than any other HMHB-referenced player?
10. Name four other players referred to by HMHB who have each appeared in three FA cup finals.
11. Which HMHB-referenced player scored the winner in an FA cup final?
12. Which HMHB-referenced player scored in two FA cup finals, but not the winner in either?
30 March 2020
Lux inferior
Brilliant quiz. Got four of five off the top of my head – I’ll get stuck into the remainder tomorrow (as I work for an exam board, I’ve not really got a lot else on at present!)
When is the deadline?
30 March 2020
EXXO
Oh, errm, say 6pm tomorrow (Tuesday), just in case I am called to the front tomorrow (I think DBS formalities are still being done on my attempt to play a part behind the lines for the NHS).
30 March 2020
EXXO
Oh, and Q13. The only HMHB-referenced player to win the UEFA cup twice.
I should say that 4 players appear as more than one answer, especially where FA cup finals are concerned, and that the “other” in question 10 just means “other than the answer to question 9,” not other than any other questions.
Big clue. As far as I can see, only two answers to this quiz have not already been named somewhere in this thread today.
30 March 2020
EXXO
Hmm, some contradictions in sources for #13, and it does appear in the ‘honours’ on his Wikipedia (and I have no doubt that means he’s claiming it), but I don’t think he got the second medal ‘cos although he scored four goals in the UEFA cup run he wasn’t in the squad for the second final. Anyway name that man.
30 March 2020
EXXO
It’s a tricky one. My contribution will be in distinctly bad taste for many, given that the auguries predict that some of us will lose parents/loved ones to this thing. And yet it is just 45 old HMHB lyrics thrust together in a different order, as yet another example of how all-encompassingly brilliant Mr. B’s lyrics are.
I propose, now that I’ve added 20 more lines to mine, so that the cento is a true cento, that we make your positive one & my morose one (Say yin. Say yang. Bye-bye, boom bang) into this week’s quiz. How many of the 100 (not different) songs can you name as you go through the patchwork? Let’s face it, we’re going to need to go to two or three quizzes per week anyway.
30 March 2020
Alice van der meer
Exxo, sometimes sick humour is what you need to get through.
30 March 2020
Lux inferior
Not too far off having my answers ready, but could I just clarify something with regards question 8 – should the question refer to Wembley finals only?
31 March 2020
EXXO
Ah b*llocks, your query has alerted me that Q.8 is wrong. I was sure Barry Venison was the answer, but b*llocks he wasn’t selected for the 1992 final (although it was, TBF, one of Souness’ better decisions). So I know which player you are thinking of, and he is the only HMHB referenced player who has ever appeared in a non-Wembley FA cup final, which he didn’t win. So in fact no HMHB-referenced player has ever won every FA cup final match if they have appeared in more than one. So let’s make this the new and completely different Q 8 – sorry, but at least you’ve got this one.
Q8. Who is the only HMHB-referenced player to appear in a non-Wembley FA cup final?
31 March 2020
Lux inferior
Ta for clarifying Exxo. Here you go:
1. Bob Wilson, Jim Beglin
2. Paul Gascoigne
3. Ferenc Puskas
4. I’ve got this as a tie between Dino Zoff (6 Serie A titles) & Andoni Zubizaretta (6 La Liga titles). I note that Puskas won ten league titles, but only 5 of these were in his home country.
5. Paolo Rossi seems the most obvious answer.
6. Zinedine Zidane
7. Bobby Charlton, Garth Crooks. Injured player who missed out was Bob Wilson.
8. Gianfranco Zola
9. Garth Crooks
10. Mortensen, Matthews, Charlton, Zola
11. Ronnie Boyce
12. Stanley Mortensen
13. Alan Brazil
31 March 2020
dr desperate
Good plan, Exxo. What say we give people until Palm Sunday to make their lists, then we can enter in triumph with the answers? I’ll do the big yin, you do the big yang.
31 March 2020
EXXO
Or just add Wembley to Q.8, you’re right, to get the same answer. Doh.
31 March 2020
EXXO
Brilliant work, Lux … 19 points …. out of 20.
I’ll open Q.5 to the field.
31 March 2020
Lux inferior
I’ll settle for that. Thought Rossi might be wrong.
Best find some work to do now…
31 March 2020
EXXO
I finally had the chance to tot up the number of Italian clubs that HMHB-referenced players have represented. I knew that Italy was the answer to Lux’s remaining question, but just hadn’t counted them up carefully, and I think it’s fourteen clubs (of Zoff, Rossi, Zico, Zidane, Zola & Gazza) if you count Paolo Rossi’s two loan clubs.
The two Dutch and three French players referenced seem to put Netherlands and France in joint second place with eight clubs each , whereas the five who have played in Spain only total seven clubs between them (Zubizaretta & Arconada’s Bilbao & San Sebastian B teams with different names can’t really count as a different club)
Was amazed how few HMHB-referenced players have played professionally in Scotland or the US.
And the answer to my remaining question (who saw the world cup final as a potential opportunity for revenge?) is of course…?
1 April 2020
Lux inferior
Spot on, Exxo. Fourteen it is. Analysis of my HMHB footballers spreadsheet also confirms your numbers for Dutch, French & Spanish clubs.
The only thing I disagree on is the number of French players – I’ve only got Bats & Zidane.
As for your remaining unanswered question, it’s still proving beyond me (which is ridiculous, considering how few HMHB references have actually played in a WC Final). I’ll stick at it though.
1 April 2020
mister tubbs
Is No. 5 Wim Van Hanegem (revenge for World War Two)?
1 April 2020
EXXO
“I didn’t give a damn about the score, 1-0 was enough, as long as we could humiliate them. I hate them. They murdered my family. My father, my brother and several family members. Each time I faced Germany, I was angst-filled,” Van Hanegem infamously sniped.
Yes, you’re right, just two French players, Lux. I was bracketing Bell in the French pile.
1 April 2020
EXXO
Supplementary question:
Take a lesbian TV witch, Ernie’s TV friend (many say gay lover, including the writer), a creature from two of a bisexual’s very different concert films, and Smythe’s pet in a book (but his daughter in the film). This gives you four HMHB-referenced players.
Apart from the obvious, what else do their careers have in common that is increasingly unusual?
1 April 2020
Lux inferior
I’ll have a pop…
Wilson, Trautmann, Yashin, Arconada.
All keepers, obviously. The other common factor is something along the lines of them all being one-club players, although, as mentioned previously, Wilson was also on Wolves’ books, but never made an appearance for them.
1 April 2020
EXXO
That’s it, bravo! Of course another increasingly rare thing in football is the daft nickname: Willow, Bert (not his real name), Black Spider & Octopus.
1 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
You could write a book.
1 April 2020
Parsfan
Another supplementary question, partially inspired by Exxo’s comment about professionals in Scotland.
Two of those referenced in HMHB songs have represented my team, Dunfermline Athletic. Name them.
1 April 2020
Lux inferior
@Parsfan: Not professionally, I take it?
1 April 2020
Lux inferior
I know that George Farm managed Dunfermline though.
1 April 2020
Parsfan
Correct for George Farm, I deliberately didn’t say “played”.
You’re right about the other one too, not with us he did go on to become a professional.
1 April 2020
Lux inferior
This is about as tenuous as it gets, but could the other be Richard Jobson? The Armoury Show get a mention in the lyrics, and Dunfermline run out on matchdays to Into The Valley by The Skids.
2 April 2020
EXXO
Hmm. I smell a trick question. Maybe Gordon Jackson once represented Pars manager Jock Stein in a film, before going on to appear in The Professionals?
2 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Little in the way ‘Sunshine’ the emergency mascot signed from Hibs as temporary cover when Sammy the Tammy went AWOL in 2017.
2 April 2020
dr desperate
That’s it, Exxo.
Gordon Jackson represented the Pars as “guest supporter” in the 1967 final of BBC’s ‘Quiz Ball’. Can you name three other guest supporters over the years (1966 – 72) and a referee of the quiz who were also Biscuit references?
2 April 2020
Lux inferior
@Dr Desperate: David Vine was quizmaster. Ted Moult & Arthur Lowe were two of the three guests. There was also an appearance by a Brian Moore, but not the HMHB-referenced one.
@Parsfan: I still think my obscure Richard Jobson link is worth half a point, even if Gordon Jackson was the answer you were looking for.
2 April 2020
EXXO
Ha, it was just an inspired guess. I nearly suggested Ali Bongo (AKA William Wallace), just for a laugh.
By the way,Ted Moult’s Nottingham Forest episode of Quiz Ball, the first one broadcast, on Thursday 22nd December 1966, is here (thanks to Richard Osman).
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p02mbcy7/quiz-ball-22121966
Moult is the first man to score a goal on the programme – albeit an own goal – and he is also the first to commit a foul. But the first man to answer questions on the programme is Bobby Mckinlay, a Fife man, though he never represented Dunfermline as far as I know.
Forest manager is Johnny Carey – former Man United skipper and the first non-Englishman to captain a league-winning and cup-winning side in England.
Some future managerial clashes are foreshadowed too, e.g. John Barnwell v. Terry Neil. Quite watchable, not too many knobheads.
2 April 2020
Parsfan
Well done Exxo, correct answer but, as you now know, for the wrong reason. That was in the first Quizball final where we lost to Arsenal. We were back in it for the last one in 1972 where we beat Leicester. So, reigning champions for nearly 50 years.
@lux – no, sorry, way too tenuous but pleased you know that sort of stuff about us.
There was some chat about Quizball on one of our forums a couple of years ago. Here’s one of the posts…
sammer, Mon 19 Nov 2018 17:25
Gordon Jackson and John Cushley remain the only Dunfermline players to have scored hat-tricks in a national final. I saw Jackson notch his three ‘goals’ at the Glen Pavilion in 1966 when we went down 7-3 to the mighty Arsenal of Ian Ure and DJ Jimmy Young. Gordon Jackson was a well kent face at the time, although the roles for which he is best remembered- Hudson in Upstairs Downstairs and Cowley in The Professionals- lay in the future.
The guest stars seem to have had little connection to the actual teams they represented. Jackson and Ros Drinkwater, an actress who appeared in the TV Series Paul Temple, probably represented Dunfermline on the grounds they were Scottish. Jon Pertwee, the Dr. Who of the time, was a former naval intelligence officer and may have docked at Rosyth, but I doubt even if he did that it was relevant. I can only assume that their agents saw it as a good way to appear in the public eye.
The Quizball format was a bit creaky and the slicker Question of Sport brushed it aside. It was however prime time TV in the age of three channels and made household names of the players, one of whom was John Osbourne the nine fingered, chain-smoking goalie of West Brom. George Farm once caused controversy on a tie breaker when he alleged cheating by the opposition-‘That man was prompted’- and there was a bust-up between Alex Ferguson and Andy Roxburgh when the latter screwed up a crucial question for Falkirk. In these days of brand marketing what would provincial teams like the Pars and Falkirk pay for that kind of national exposure?
2 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Parsfan:
Nothing for Sunshine?
https://www.dunfermlinepress.com/sport/15196334.pars-snap-up-hibernian-mascot-sunshine-on-emergency-deal-as-sammy-the-tammy-goes-awol/
2 April 2020
EXXO
Sunshine is IMHO even more pointsworthy than The Armoury Show, given that he did indeed represent the Pars. Jobson (like Sunshine) is a Hibs fan and Dunfermline play the Skids ‘cos of Stuart Adamson, really. Both impressive efforts though.
Sorry BTW, mistake above – Johnny Carey was of course the first non-UK player to skipper an English league-winning and/or cup-winning side. Plenty of Scots, Welsh & N.Irish had done it already.
2 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Nicky, Nicky Parsons, Nicky Parsons on the wing.
2 April 2020
EXXO
More about Quiz Ball than you need to know:
https://readtheleague.com/the-big-feature/route-one-and-all-that-the-quiz-ball-story
Bob Wilson, answerman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkYidVVOHos
2 April 2020
parsfan
@saul, sorry…little in the way of points coming your way. Will you settle for some credit for imagination and my gratitude for trying?
Apart from not being the answer, no one has ever heard that song and thought of the Hibs mascot. If it was “Little in the way of Sunshine on Leith Lynx coming our way” I’d maybe consider it.
I was at that game and can’t remember their mascot there – but that means nothing as I usually arrive at kick-off. Did you note the date of the article? I think I thought it was related to that at the time but I can’t say for certain that it didn’t happen.
As for Jobson, I always had him as a Celtic fan. He says the right things about The Pars when he plays in town and I’ve no doubt he’d play to that side of Edinburgh but he’s just a hoor. Adamson and Bill Simpson were the fans – the latter used to sit about three rows in front of me but he must have moved or stopped going as I’ve not seen him at a game for years.
2 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Parsfan
Credit and gratitude gratefully accepted.
3 April 2020
dr desperate
@Lux You interest me strangely with this other Brian Moore – I assumed the planetarium-headed one had simply been hooring between Gillingham and Spurs. IMDb seems to think they’re one and the same, linking his ’67 ‘Quiz Ball’ appearance to rôles as ‘Commentator’ in various footie fillums and ‘The (Big) Match’.
I assume Arthur Lowe qualified as an England supporter, as they list him as ‘Self’ in the ’72 Home International against Wales.
3 April 2020
Lux inferior
Er, got me there, Doc. That’s what you get for skimming and failing to undertake adequate research. When I saw it referred to Brian Moore, actor and writer, I immediately assumed it was not the Planetarium-headed one. Apologies.
In my defence, I’m all researched out, after spending about a day and a half solid working out the answers to Exxo’s footy quiz.
3 April 2020
Lux inferior
Quick quiz:
1/ Name the three most capped HMHB-referenced footballers at full international level.
2/ How many full international caps, in total, have been awarded to HMHB-referenced footballers? Will accept the first answer within 20 of the actual total.
3 April 2020
dr desperate
There will be a slight delay on the Coronavirus Quiz, while Exxo and I sort out our cantones. Watch this space.
3 April 2020
dr desperate
*centones
4 April 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Become a Centones completist:
https://www.discogs.com/The-Centones-End-Of-The-Day/release/8590390
4 April 2020
Lord leominster
I’d like to book a slot for a short, easy quiz on Friday. It’s nothing serious, just enjoy it, see what happens, kinda thing.
7 April 2020
lord leominster
If anyone else has a quiz in mind for Friday, still go ahead. Mine is just a tea-break filler so there’s more than enough room for both.
8 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Got a shit load of Football Quizzes if anyone is interested
8 April 2020
Parsfan
I have something nice and simple (in terms of ease of my posting and your understanding, maybe less so in completing) but no rush. Maybe save it for an emergency.
8 April 2020
EXXO
I wasn’t joking when I said we should probably go to two or three quizzes a week. Mind you, I wasn’t working either when I said that, and now I am, and am suddenly online a lot less. No access to the net during the day and exhausted in the evenings – now I know how the rest of you normally feel.
I have a near-infinite-monkeys-quantity of HMHB quiz ideas, all of which are just that. Ideas, themes, formats.
Last Friday my neighbour was hosting a games party on Zoom, whatever that is, like half the Paintball nation seems to be doing, and although it’s sturdy brickwork, I could hear every question clearly through the wall. I assume some of her family are elderly, or knobheads, as there was a lot of shouting and a lot of repetition of questions and answers. The quiz round consisted of 20 true or false questions about Michaels. Aspel, Ball, Bolton, Buble, Caine, Douglas … I’m losing the will to stay awake just recalling it. It did not surprise me when she told me over the garden fence two days later when she said the virtual gathering was for her dad – Michael – on his birthday. I also managed to avoid the temptation to tell her I was the true winner of the quiz round, even through the wall. I even got one of her impressions right (Mick Jagger), from next door.
Anyway I think we should do 20 questions on Nigels one of these days …
So anyway where was I? Yeah every day is like Friday now. Let quizzery be unbounded. Surely we should post our quizzes whenever we fancy, with short time-frames till the answers to minimise overlap.
8 April 2020
dr desperate
“As if we didn’t know already, the exigencies of confinement have confirmed the British love of a good quiz.” (Third leader, today’s Times of London)
The same applies, of course, to other nationalities.
9 April 2020
lord leominster
Here’s some useful guidance on the subject from the BBC:
Virtual pub quiz: How to run one that’s actually good
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-52187500
9 April 2020
EXXO
Hard to rip that excuse for an article apart without seeming to shoot the messenger, but at no point does it do what it says on the tin.
9 April 2020
Lord leominster
Don’t worry. I had already decided to ignore all of the BBC’s advice for tomorrow’s quiz.
9 April 2020
Lord leominster
I did promise (threaten?) some supplementary questions to my Gravest Hits quiz on the next occasion that a celeb hands back his or her season ticket. So to mark the death of Eddie Large here are three easy questions that do not so much constitute a quiz as clues to riddles, of which at least one is a murder mystery.
For the first two questions all you need to do is identify the HMHB song and from there it’s a short hop to the answers. The third question is, I hope, a little trickier.
Gravest Hits II
Question 1
We find ourselves in a well kept open space, but it is not a cemetery, although we are looking for a grave. However that grave might not even exist. If we do find the grave what do we already know to be unusual about the body that lies within? [1 point.] What is the nature of the open space? [1 point.] (I could give a further clue, but I don’t want to give the game away just yet.)
Question 2
We are in an altogether different kind of open space, but it is not a cemetery. It is, however, someone’s final resting place. Who did we imagine would simply wander off to make this their final resting place, by an unusual type of suicide, quite possibly? [1 point.] What is the nature of the open space? [1 point.]
Question 3
In the original quiz we identified several “characters” (for want of a better description) who have risen from the dead: St Vitas and the graveyard cacophony, Chester Barnes in 2163 and (arguably) Old Tige in 1966 (the year of release of the Jim Reeves single). (But not Dracula as he was already undead.) Name two others referenced in HMHB lyrics that have performed the same feat. [1 point for each and 1 further bonus point each for the year they did so.] (I hope there are more than two so bonus points for alternative answers.)
There are 8 points up for grabs. Save your answers until, let’s say, Monday afternoon. Good luck (not that you’ll need it).
10 April 2020
EXXO
Hallelujah! A good Good Friday topic. I didn’t realise how much I’d unconsciously been preparing my soul for the second coming of this particular quiz theme, but straightway* I got into the spirit, and believe myself to have accrued six runs off the first over. I have also been visited by several other apparitions promising a second answer for Q3, but no specific year seems to attach itself to any of them … yet.
*one for those with KJ under the bed.
10 April 2020
EXXO
@Lux. I think we can safely say that on last Friday’s quiz, we gave up on the totting up the total, but off the top of me head I’d guess the three most capped would be Mart Poom, Dino Zoff and Zen Zidane, two of whom obviously played at a time when there were more international matches than when Bobby Charlton played. I’d guess they might be the only 4 over 100 caps, and that approx the 13 most capped Biscuit internationals would have a total of say 1000 caps, and that the entire rest in total would only have say 200-300 between the lot of them … so I’m gonna guess about 1,265 just as a ‘pub quiz tiebreak’ kind of guess?
On Monday I started a tedious drudgery I last did 39 years ago, which involves way too many lists and ticking off and totting up, and so any tasks involving any of that are now anathema.
10 April 2020
EXXO
Annoyingly, as soon as you’ve done the panicked tie-break guess, you sit down and look at it more logically. I’m now inclined to raise that guess to say 1,345.
Which causes me yet again to critique the lazy notion, oft-spouted by those who compile cliches, that there is anything much ‘obscure’ about most of HMHB’s football references.
10 April 2020
EXXO
the more I just wanted to do a throw-away guess and forget it, the more i kept thinking about it afterwards.
Not sure how I forgot Zubizarreta. So it’s 5 players over 100 caps.
1. Zubizaretta.
2. Poom
3. Zoff
4. Zidane.
5. Charlton
And again I’ll revise my total guesstimate upwards to around 1,485
10 April 2020
EXXO
I now have 3 and a half personages for question three, but the years are nearly all problematic, mythic or impossible to say.
11 April 2020
Lord leominster
Sounds like you are making the mistake I usually make and overthinking it. Don’t get hung up on the dates. Yes, at least one of them requires a reasonable guess. My answer lies in a range and I was hoping that someone would narrow it down for me. I’m intrigued by the half.
11 April 2020
EXXO
Thanks for the reassurance . Think I am now on four definites for Q3, three of them with good cases for the year claims.
11 April 2020
Lord leominster
Gravest Hits II
Here are the first two answers. I would be surprised if anyone who might be remotely interested in this quiz was stuck on either.
Answer 1
The song is 24 Hour Garage People and the relevant verse is
“Oh he went to play golf on a Sunday morn’ just a mile and a half from town
His head was found on the driving range and his body has never been found”
We are on a golf course looking for a grave that contains a headless corpse. Please note “I could give you a further clue…” was a clue in itself, to the game of golf. And if anyone says “Oh, but golf is a sport” my response to THAT is THIS: you are wrong.
Question 2
The song is National Shite Day and the relevant verse is
“I’d always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
To be found months later
His carcass stripped by homeless dogs
His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow”
The open space is “the hills” which might become Stringy Bob’s final resting place. The reference to suicide refers to Stringy Bob being on suicide watch.
So how did we fare with question 3? Does anyone think they have more than four examples of rising from the dead? I only have two myself. If no advances on four I invite Exxo to share his answers.
I was very excited at the prospect of there being half a candidate. I did wonder if the half might be Emu, his career perhaps resurrected with an arm other than Rod Hull’s up his cloaca. But I don’t recall any mention of Emu in HMHB lyrics so that seems unlikely.
13 April 2020
EXXO
1. Shame, I was hoping it was never found ‘cos it had been dissolved, boiled up and fed to the fish in pellet form.
2. Would Tibetan Buddhists considered Stringy Bob to have given himself an ‘air burial’?
3. You mention those who “have risen from the dead,” and ask for others who “have performed this feat” … which I will take in trinitarian fashion as either (i) raising another person or persons from the dead, or (ii) being raised by someone else, or (iii) raising themselves from the dead as both agent and object of the action, which is probably just rising from the dead, on their own, so I won’t bore you with a (iv).
So, as for those mentioned in the annals of Biscuitry, I can think of four decent shouts, though I won’t be surprised if I don’t have both of the ones you were thinking of:
1. In Tour Jacket we have Helen, doing (iii) Every year!
2. In CAMRA Man, we have Dr. Who, who has done (i) on occasion, and (iii) on far too many occasions IMHO, and I’m pretty sure I recall other Time Lordy types doing (ii) to him/her/them. As for the years, You’d need to ask an aficionado.
3 & 4. In Christian mythology, we have Jesus Christ (Bob Todd, etc) who was said to have done (i) and either (ii) or (iii), in approx 30-33 “AD,” plus St. Peter (Surging) who according to someone did (i) to someone in approx 35 AD, as well as John the Baptist who was briefly thought (by some) to have done a Dr. Who and regenerated as Jesus, but that’s obviously not an answer.
Then there are ghosts, since you mentioned Old Tige. We don’t really know if they are performing (ii) or (iii), I suppose.
In Fear My Wraith the narrator is already a wraith from the start I think, and also seems to be undead, so I won’t count him (or her).
Nor will I count the Red Indian that haunts the recording studio in Whit Week, because the implication is that that is just the worst kind of rock and roll bullshit.
And in Bane we can assume that the Iron-Age mums are also in the delusionally-envisaged bracket, though I would have loved to give the years for both the Iron Age and the fashion for cagoules.
There will be various other possibilities I’m sure.
13 April 2020
Lord leominster
Excellent shouts, Exxo.
1. I did say that the grave might not even exist so your theory still holds.
2. Stringy Bob is still incarcerated, as far as we know, but we can imagine that he will, one day, give himself an air burial.
3. All good answers. I was thinking along the lines of a physical resurrection rather than spiritual. Old Tige lyrics tell us “The big bus stopped I got off…then something gently nuzzled me and there stood Tige my dog”
Yes, Jesus Christ was one of the answers I was looking for. There are several HMHB references to His/his birth and death but none directly to His/his resurrection (as far as I am aware) but I worded the question to allow for a reference to the person, not the act. I thought that posing the question at Easter was a very subtle clue, but you saw through that straight away.
I did not think of Dr Who. I wish I had done so because that is a clear act of physical resurrection.
But I do still have one other direct HMHB reference to a physical rising from the dead (but I’m not sure which of your categories it falls into). I will invite any other suggestions before sharing my answer later today.
13 April 2020
EXXO
I’m sure they aren’t what you are thinking of, but I did dismiss both Excavating Rita and Restless Legs right from the off.
13 April 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Nice quiz. I had Stringy Bob and Jesus.
For no. 1, adjudicators, I was thinking more on Emergency Locksmith and Beddgelert… what’s unusual about the body that may or not be there is that it’s a dog; the nature of the open space where the fraudulent grave is located is, as far as I recall, a well-tended meadow next to the river.
13 April 2020
Lord leominsteR
I can see why you thought of the fraudulent grave. It may or may not be there [it’s not, it’s just a pile of stones] and the body would be unusual in that it would be the body of a dog. To answer your question, the 24 Hour body, if found, would be unusual in that it would have no head.
We are still looking for a category (ii) or (iii) raising from the dead that is directly, with typical Blackwellian humour, referenced both as to the person and to the act of resurrection.
13 April 2020
Lord leominsTer
“If ever an album title was in dire need of an exclamation mark
If ever an album title was in dire need of an exclamation mark
It surely had to be
Frampton Comes Alive!
Frampton Comes Alive!
Run for the hills
Frampton Comes Alive!
One more time
Frampton Comes Alive!”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frampton_Comes_Alive
Recorded 1975 and released 1976.
13 April 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Oh yeah. Should’ve thought of that.
13 April 2020
parsfan
A bit late to the party but I was going to suggest The Pope in Vatican Broadside. I think it was Sheffield in 2005 where Nigel changed the final line to “In relation to me rising from the dead” on the eve of a papal funeral.
He might also have cocked it up and I’ve just remembered what I think he intended to say.
13 April 2020
EXXO
It’s never occurred to me that part of Mr. B’s piss-take there is a pun involving the idea of him actually coming alive from death, rather than pretending to come alive with a false claim to have injected some kind of spark into his shiteawful, lifeless output – the kind of album that classmates and siblings did, all too often, have. But of course Mr. B does like to focus on the macabre. So thank you for an insight and a top quality little quiz.
13 April 2020
Lord leominster
Yes. I think we got good mileage out of a simple little quiz. I think the subject of graves and rising therefrom has been well and truly exhumed. It was just a little something to help pass the lockdown. Thanks for taking part. Exxo takes the honours, not that these things count; it’s not like we are particularly competitive or anything. I’m especially pleased with the Dr Who contriution to the surprisingly long list of those who can not / will not stay dead.
13 April 2020
dr desperate
I’m trying to avoid being particularly competitive at the moment, but having checked the mileage chart for this quiz I believe there are still some tenuous revenants to exhume, including the demon fiend leaving the tomb in ‘Left Lyrics’, the ghost of Kirkus in ‘Mod Diff’ and the one with a conscience in ‘Orme Ascent’.
As regards Our Lord, “If Jesus came to Earth today” (‘Westminster Bridge’) and “Saw Christ in Dorothy Perkins” (‘Harsh Times’) would seem to require His resurrection, while “Jesus I feel won’t be coming back again” (‘Constant Sorrow’) to deny it.
And which Biscuit references:
1. gave lectures at which he described himself as a reincarnation of Jesus Christ?
2. claimed to be able to recall reincarnations going back to the 16th century?
3. has had one more reincarnation than Doctor Who?
4. has the same first name as a fictional character who has had over ten times as many returns from the dead as Doctor Who?
14 April 2020
Lux inferior
@Exxo, re. comments 949-951 – I’d forgotten all about this.
You named the most capped players in the correct order, and your guesstimate wasn’t too far wide of the mark – it’s actually 1,553.
Nonetheless, it’s another quiz victory for you.
14 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Unbeatable
14 April 2020
Lord leominster
Thanks for the additional info, Doc. I did consider “if Jesus came to Earth today” but decided the “if” meant it wasn’t a direct reference. Didn’t think of the other Jesus references, though, so thanks for those.
Neither had I considered the ghosts you mention but ghosts are altogether more different dead things.
The demon fiend, however, must score at least half a point. Although instructed to leave his/her/its tomb we don’t know whether that order was obeyed (or do we?).
Your questions:
1. A certain former tracksuit wearing goalkeeper springs to mind but I don’t think he was a Biscuit reference (hope I’m wrong about that last bit).
As for your other questions, I have not a clue, sorry.
14 April 2020
Lord leominster
One of my favourite Biscuit songs, and therefore by definition one of my favourite songs, is Let’s Not which contains the rather wonderful line “I saw Jesus but he didn’t see me” so there’s another reference to His/his resurrection (to add to Emma Ollerhead’s sighting of Him/him in Dorothy Perkins).
So come along, Doc, what’s with the Dr Who resurrections? But fair warning, I’m with Exxo on the Who thing. It was once my favourite programme, but that was back in the day when John Pertwee was driving around in Bessie and having adventures with the brigadier. Then I grew up (well, kinda sorta).
16 April 2020
dr desperate
He keeps popping up, doesn’t He, @ Leommy?
A pre-resurrection one is “Jesus Christ, come on down!” (‘99% of Gargoyles’), which I suspect refers to the 13th Station Of The Cross, ‘The Descent From The Cross’.
It was the subject of paintings by Rubens and Rembrandt among others, depicting Jesus’s deposition (Apokathelosis) by Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea (q v), and later, less reverentially, the putdown “Get off the cross, we need the wood”.
17 April 2020
dr desperate
I should point out that none of my reincarnation/resurrection questions refers directly to The Doctor, only to the number of times he has re-generated (12 to date).
I’ll give people a couple more days to ponder, then post the answers on (Low) Sunday.
17 April 2020
Lord leominster
Yes, Doc, He does keep popping up. It’s almost as if He’s omnipresent.
Whilst on the subject of irreverent musical references to Our Lord (not me, the other one) here are two from other bands that immediately spring to mind:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Can_See_Your_House_from_Here
and
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Coming_(Dickies_album)
Not quite as high-brow as Rubens and Rembrandt but culture nonetheless.
Looking forward to the answers to your quiz questions.
18 April 2020
EXXO
Good questions doc – got first three straight off and had myself a time thinking about the fourth.
18 April 2020
dr desperate
Thanks, Exxo. I had a tiebreaker ready in case too many people got all the answers right, so I’ll just leave it here now:
5. Which Biscuit-referenced TV character has a friend who has died but inexplicably returned on two occasions, twenty years apart (once in a dream)?
18 April 2020
EXXO
The tie-breaker’s definitely on my weakest quiz subject, but then there are not many HMHB-referenced TV characters, and very few who have been on screen for two decades or more. I immediately thought it would be the sort of thing to happen to a Del Boy or a Ken Barlow, but googling had disconfirmed these tentative guesslets.
So the tie has not been broken, not by me anyway.
But:
1. Timothy Leary
2. Aleister Crowley
3. Mr. Lama
4. Kenneth Branagh – OMG they’ve killed Kenny!
19 April 2020
dr desperate
Since Leommy’s excellent ‘Gravest Hits II’ quiz took place over Easter week, I’m giving the answers to my Resurrection Shuffle on a more Orthodox date.
The Biscuit reference who:
1. gave lectures at which he described himself as a reincarnation of Jesus Christ was Timothy Leary (‘Ready Steady Goa’).
https://www.memorabilia.expert/shop/reincarnation-of-jesus-christ-timothy-leary-signed-inscribed-printed-photo-jsa/
2. claimed to be able to recall reincarnations going back to the 16th century was Aleister Crowley (‘Get Kramer’).
They included the occultist Éliphas Lévi, Cagliostro and Pope Alexander VI.
3. has had one more reincarnation than Doctor Who is His Holiness the Dalai Lama (Mr. Lama in ‘Ready Steady Goa).
He is currently the 14th of his line.
4. has the same first name as a fictional character who has had over ten times as many returns from the dead as Doctor Who is Kenny (Ken, ‘Nove On The Sly’).
Kenny McCormick has died 126 times in various versions of the ‘South Park’ franchise (whose theme song begins “I’m goin’ down to South Park, gonna have myself a time”).
5. has a friend who has died but inexplicably returned on two occasions, twenty years apart is Bart Simpson (‘Petty Sessions’).
Bart’s friend Ralph Wiggum died in a dream episode of The Simpsons in April 1999; when he returned Bart said, “I thought you were dead?” to which he replied, “Nope.” Ralph died again in March 2019, returning in the next episode without explanation.
19 April 2020
dr desperate
Sorry Exxo, posts crossed there.
Congratulations, another winner!
I make that 3½ points (I don’t think anybody calls Branaaagh ‘Kenny’, except perhaps Emmy).
19 April 2020
EXXO
No but many of Kenneth McCormick’s elders call him by his full name.
19 April 2020
Lord leominstEr
Once again I find myself out of my depth with a HMHB quiz. But if I keep flapping my arms and legs around perhaps it will look like I’m swimming. Zero again but thanks for the questions and for expanding my knowledge.
To be fair to myself I did wonder about Dalai Lama but I hadn’t found the Biscuit reference. And the non-Biscuit referenced former goalkeeper I was thinking of was David Icke.
19 April 2020
EXXO
This next quiz – which I dreamed up on Friday but didn’t have a chance to write till today – has a rather different format, and is based on the thoroughly entertaining radio show The Unbelievable Truth. In this variation, you need to read the following short treatise, and your primary task is to find EIGHT true facts in the otherwise utterly fabricated pile of tosh. Unlike the programme, however, I have added further tasks. Can you accurately correct at least SIX of the many, many false statements (but you will lose a point if you wrongly correct anything). That’s 14 answers, so far, worth 2 points each, and there are easy bonus points if you can see passing references to at least TWELVE different HMHB tracks (name them), making 26 answers in all, and 40 points maximum in total.
If this is successful (i.e. if it gets a couple of responses), I we can try this format again with other topics in future, and who knows some of you fellow Biscuiteers may even do the same with your own little treatises on other topics. But this first one is about the delightful cradle of members of HMHB, namely wonderful Wallasey, which here is described in contrast with its neighbouring metropolis, Nigel’s very own bonny borough of Birkenhead. So here we go …
Wallasey is an ancient cathedral city in Wirral, formerly in Cheshire but now restored to Merseyside. The various different areas of this borough include one named after Bournemouth, and Wallasey has almost as much beautiful sandy beach as that famous Sussex holiday resort. The bathing is safe and you can wade out for miles. Ken Hancock was a former member of the ‘Four Lads Who Shook the World,’ a band who played more gigs in Wallasey than anywhere else. He was also a frequent support act for the ‘Five Lads Who Shook the Wirral’, and so was often teased by Nigel Blackwell at gigs about being the “last man in Wallasey to…” These included “last man in Wallasey to get a new conservatory,” “last man in Wallasey to get into the Manics,” and “last man in Wallasey to get a grooming agitator on his lime green Dyson”. Since Ken’s departure from the band, Wallasey cannot claim to be the birthplace of any members of HMHB, but at least it was home to OMD, the Coral, the Boo Radleys and Blackfoot Sue.
Just as the word ‘Wales’ means ‘rugby players’ in Anglo-Saxon, so ‘Wallasey’, a name which comes from the same root as Wales, means ‘island of rugby,’ and this has always been a strange enclave of that clumsy celtic sport, situated at the South-east corner of the korfball-mad Wirral Peninsula, naturally cut off from Birkenhead by the high tides of the Dee estuary. Whereas neighbouring Birkenhead has league football in the shape of Friday night Sky favourites Tranmere Rangers, Wallasey is all about the rugger. Its people are well known as dirty great big Six Nations fans, and as a result the town has never had a professional football team itself.
The motto of leafy, rural Birkenhead, founded by monks, is “Blessed are the Pure in Heart,” but that of its proud neighbour Wallasey is “Fuck off you Self-Righteous Bastards.” This is just one of many examples of the legendary rivalry of the two towns, which began with the very planning of the streets and squares by their warm-blooded borough surveyors. In civic architecture it is Wallasey’s famous Georgian Hamilton Square which is considered superior, but of course it is Birkenhead’s Victorian Town Hall which now hosts Wirral council, governing the whole peninsula under the gaze of the mayoral frown, and Birkenhead which is home to the peninsula’s university. Wallasey has docks and an oil terminal, Birkenhead has its aircraft factories; both have their own ferries and separate road tunnels across to Liverpool.
Birkenhead is generally considered posher, and despite the fact that the borough of Wallasey tried hard to attract tourists and Scousers in shell-suits with its two piers, two fine chandlers, three open-air swimming pools, a Napoleonic castle and the tallest building in the UK, it was Birkenhead which had world’s first truly public park (its lake is colder and deeper than you think) and is home to the famous Black Horse and Stanley’s Cask pubs (where of course Carl’s punk covers band often play), so the latter has always attracted more visitors.
Please do not post your answers before 6pm on WEDNESDAY 22 APRIL.
19 April 2020
transit full of keith
Excellent idea for a quiz.
Right I’ll give it a go. No online help mind.
8 truths
– almost as much sandy beach as Bournemouth
– home to the Coral
– another member of HMHB born in Wallasey (If this is correct, you may have given it away in the intro)
– there is both a Wallasey and a Birkenhead tunnel to Liverpool
– ‘Blessed are the Pure In Heart’ motto
– Wallasey has never had a professional football team
– world’s first truly public park was in Birkenhead
– Wallasey has two piers
6 corrections
– he was the “first man in Wallasey” not last
– Tranmere Rovers not Rangers, obvs
– Karl’s (not Carl’s) covers band plays in that Cask pub
– Wallasey is generally considered posher than Birkenhead
– Wallasey is in the north-east corner of the Wirral not south-east
– Birkenhead has the docks and the oil terminal not Wallasey
Passing song references
– “Blackfoot Sue” / Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite
– “Lime green Dyson” / (pass)
– “under the gaze of the ayoral frown” / Outbreak of Vitas G.
– “korfball-mad” / Joy in Leuwarden
– “dirty great big Six Nations fan” / CAMRA Man
– “warm-blooded borough surveyors” / With Goth On Our Side
– “colder and deeper than you think” / San Antonia Foam Party
– “Black Horse” / On The Roids
– “conservatory” – / Paintballs Coming Home
– “get into the Manics” / Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes
– “Scousers in shell suits” / With Goth On Our Side (again)
– “rugger” / L’Enfer C’est Les Autres
– “Hamilton” / Used to Be In Evil Gazebo
– “bathing is safe, you can wade out for miles” / Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite
– “Friday night” / Friday Night & The Gates Are Low
22 April 2020
transit full of keith
Oops sorry, just realised I should probably have checked if others were OK with posting answers (but you did say after 6pm Wednesday). Couple of typos in the above too (*mayoral and *Antonio).
22 April 2020
transit full of keith
Also:
– the ‘other member born in Birkenhead’ should be in the corrections column, not the truths
– so for an additional truth I’ll say Birkenhead Town Hall hosts Wirral Council
22 April 2020
EXXO
*David Mitchell voice*
Thank you Charles!
So at the end of that round, Charles, you’ve managed to smuggle SIX truths past the rest of the panel. And that means, Charles, you’ve scored SIX points!
*back to Charles Exford voice*
And more impressively, the brilliant Keith has TWENTY-NINE points, which he has scored for finding TWO truths (= 4 points), correcting FIVE AND A HALF lies (=11 points), and identifying TWELVE HMHB songs (good job he listed 15, cos only 12 of the 15 were really referenced = 12 points).
So bravo Keith, you are the official winner, but if anyone else can identify 6 other truths and correct 6 other errors by 6pm tomorrow, I will declare them the TRUE CHAMPION OF TRUTH for the week
22 April 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I’ll take “winner pending VAR” for now. I was sure I’d done better in round 1 though. Currently into the first week of self-isolation with a confirmed case of ‘rona in the house, so this was a welcome distraction, thanks!
23 April 2020
EXXO
*Well played Keith, you were the only one brave enough to take the challenge and you have WON handsomely. Hope the old Covid doesn’t treat you and yours too harshly. I think I had it a few weeks back and didn’t really notice it, and the only reason I think I had it is that I seemed to pass it to Mrs E who was knocked out for over a week, though never really struggling.
Anyway, * David Mitchell voice again * at the end of that round Charles, you have still managed to smuggle SIX truths (and two partial truths) past the rest of the panel, and all the true answers are shown in bold below, along with correction of the rest of the lieful tissue*
Wallasey is an ancient settlement ON THE Wirral, formerly in Merseyside (with the L ostcode) but now unfortunately restored to Cheshire(with the CH postcode – boo!). The various different areas of this borough include one famously named after Brighton, i.e. New Brighton. Wallasey has way more beautiful sandy beach than any town in the south east of England, but the bathing is not that safe though and you can wade out for miles … but quicksand and death are both fairly likely if you do. Ken Hancock wasn’t a former member of the Beatles, the ‘Four Lads Who Shook not the World,’ a band who played more gigs in Wallasey than anywhere else except Liverpool (and more at the Tower Ballroom than any other venue except the Cavern). Ken was also a frequent support act for the ‘Five Lads Who Shook the Wirral’, when he was a member of Jegsy Dodd and the Sons of Harry Cross, who supported the 5-piece HMHB often during 1986. Ken was often teased by Nigel Blackwell at gigs about being the “first man in Wallasey to…” Since Ken’s departure from the band, Wallasey is now home to only one member of HMHB (Carl) but it is also the birthplace of at least one other member of HMHB (Simon Blackwell). It wasn’t home to West Wirral Acts OMD and the Coral, but it did produce the Boo Radleys (who, incidentally, sang wistfully about the bench at the end of my road and other local gubbins).
Just as the word ‘Wales’ means ‘foreigners’ in Anglo-Saxon, so ‘Wallasey’, a name which comes from the same root as ‘Wales’, means ‘island of …’ but really this meant “island of foreigners (or “Island of the Welsh”)’ and indeed Wallasey was a virtual island, naturally cut off from Birkenhead by the high tides (of the Mersey). Whereas neighbouring Birkenhead has league football in the shape of Friday night Sky favourites Tranmere Rovers, Wallasey also had professional football teams during the first half of the 20th century, in the shape of New Brighton Tower FC (professional 1896-1901) and then, more lastingly, New Brighton FC (professional 1923-1951).
The motto of Birkenhead, which was of course founded by monks, is“Where there is faith there is light and fortitude”(though the evil bastards at Birkenhead School use the motto“Blessed are the Pure in Heart”). There is no real rivalry with Wallasey, though in civic architecture it is Birkenhead’s famous Georgian architecture around Hamilton Square which is the stand-out, but nobody much really cares that the Town Hall in that square is now redundant, and that Wallasey’s more vulgar Victorian effort now hosts Wirral council, governing the whole peninsula under the gaze of the mayoral frown. It is Birkenhead which is home to the peninsula’s only department of a university (something to do with the University of Chester). Wallasey has some docks, but Birkenhead has more and an oil terminal at Tranmere,as well of course as the latter’s shipbuilding at Lairds (Cammell Laird), upon which the town was literally founded; both have their own ferries and separate road tunnels across to Liverpool.
Neither is generally considered posher, and despite the fact that the borough of Wallasey tried hard to attract tourists and Scousers in swim-suits with it pier, two open-air swimming pools, a Napoleonic fort and the tallest building in the UK (New Brighton Tower was constructed 50 feet higher than Blackpool Tower in 1898 and as it stood on a hill it commanded arguably much more impressive views), it was Birkenhead which had world’s first truly public park (its lake is probably warmer and shallower than you think) and Wallasey is home to the famous Black Horse and Stanley’s Cask pubs (where of course Karl’s punk covers band often play), so Wallasey has always attracted more visitors.
23 April 2020
EXXO
Oh and if anyone observant had corrected the deliberate test “in Wirral” to “on the Wirral” they would automatically have won this quiz and my next three.
23 April 2020
EXXO
Again, the idea was to post this quiz yesterday, Friday, but again I just didn’t have the energy after work to do it.
THE HMHB-REFERENCED ARTISTS’ ALBUM COVERS QUIZ
Q. 1-3 should be easy as they are all albums mentioned in HMHB lyrics. The others are all albums not mentioned, by artists who are referenced. Questions 4-6 are pretty well-known album covers, Q.7 through to 12 are more obscure, some very obscure indeed. In all cases I require artist and album title. Let’s NO ANSWERS BEFORE TUESDAY 6pm this time, and by Wednesday morning there will be an interesting follow-up calling on your own creativity.
1. This album, clearly reviled by Nigel Blackwell, is directly mentioned, with the cover artist separately dissed in an earlier song?
2. This album cover, also much reviled by our man, shows just the frontman and the main songwriter smiling inanely on stage. I well remember a sticker on the album cover that advertised the colour of the vinyl, and there is little doubt that this lurid description of the shade added many thousands to the sales of this fairly turgid stuff.
3. This detested album was named after its cover art work, which was done about a decade earlier, with one of two additions for the album cover.
4. Which famous album cover shows the singer walking through the snow past a VW camper van?
5. Which band’s second most famous album cover features an iconic image sculpted a mere seventy years before the album’s release, though you would probably guess it was much older?
6. This artist’s album covers, all featuring photos of him of course, include one of him posing with a gangsterish Tommy gun, one of him posing with a baby, and one of him posing with a violin that he can’t play. But it is probably his first solo album title which sums up his recent contribution to social commentary.
7. One of the first brand new albums I ever bought was the one with the inflatable pig on the cover. But whose most recent album featured various inflatable creatures, including turtles, a crocodile and probable whales/dolphins/sharks?
8. Nearly all of this artist’s album covers are portrait shots with a centre parting.
9. This artist’s “best-of” compilation shows him with a glass of red wine, but which album depicts him with a cuddly toy on his shoulder?
10. This HMHB-referenced band split at the height of their fame, and so their record company immediately released this compilation album. The cover shows a crudely-drawn, shadowy figure not doing what the band’s greatest hit tells us not to do.
11. This artist’s album covers often inevitably involved nods to Egyptological iconography. But which of his album covers was very obviously influenced by one of Hieronymus Bosch’s most famous paintings?
12. Whose long-forgotten 1973 album cover (far more obscure than any of those featured in the previous “Albums of 1973” quiz) featured a garish hotch-potch of 1920’s and 1950’s visual styles, perhaps in order to conjure up the idea of going to a cinema designed in the 1920’s, 30 years or so later?
25 April 2020
EXXO
By ‘artist’ of course I mean musical artist, artiste, not the name of the album cover painter/designer. All answers are musical artiste + title.
25 April 2020
EXXO
Just noticed that question 8 doesn’t elicit a particular album by the centre-parted wunderkind. So please name the recording artist’s own favourite album amongst their recordings.
27 April 2020
dr desperate
Not so sure about No.8 now, but I have eight other albums (so eighteen answers in all).
27 April 2020
parsfan
When I first read this one I thought I’d do quite well. Having come back to it today for a couple of half hours I think I now have fewer points than I initially thought I had then.
27 April 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Bit stuck on this one. Two definites and a handful of wild guesses.
28 April 2020
dr desperate
It now being after the appointed time, I’ll post what I’ve got:
1. Tales From Topographic Oceans / Yes (Roger Dean-designed).
2. Frampton Comes Alive! / Peter Frampton. (Not sure about this one, as there would have to be an extraneous ‘the’ in the question for it to work.)
3. Alchemy / Dire Straits (Brett Whiteley’s painting).
4. The Freewheelin’ / Bob Dylan.
5. Closer / Joy Division (sculpted by Demetrio Paernio in 1910).
6. You Are The Quarry / Morrissey.
7. ?
8. Paul Weller (not sure which would be his favourite album, unless it were Style Council’s ‘Our Favourite Shop’. Stanley Road?)
9. Squirrels In The Attic / Dean Friedman.
10. ?
11. It’s After The End Of The World / Sun Ra (detail from Bosch’s ‘Garden of Earthy Delights’).
12. ?
28 April 2020
EXXO
Congrats Dr. D, at the end of that round you have scored thirteen points out of twenty-four. You were right to doubt your answer to number 2. Number 8 also incorrect – definitely not a majority of centre-parting covers, and anyway we are talking portrait photos as the main album cover artwork.
And one other answer has the right artist and the wrong album.
But really well done and another win for Dr. D. I’ll leave the other answers open for a couple of days and will set those follow up questions first thing tomorrow.
28 April 2020
Parsfan
Eight points for me, I’m sure. I had Yes, Dire Straits and Sun Ra. Also Cheap Trick at Budokan for number 2 despite the misinformation in the question, but I put that down to your obvious dislike.
I have it, but not in kamikaze yellow vinyl, black tucked into a gatefold sleeve. The gimmick might have helped its sales here, but it sold plenty well enough elsewhere without.
It’s the singer and bassist on the cover, there was a run of albums round then with the pretty ones on the front and Rick Neilson, main songwriter, and drummer on the back.
Nigel’s caravan guitar always reminds me of them – very Rick Neilson.
28 April 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
6 is “Viva Hate” by Morrissey. (Had that on cassette as a speccy youth. Hindsight is always 20-20 of course, but I’m sure I found ‘Bengali in Platforms’ pretty fishy even at the time).
28 April 2020
parsfan
I posted a few hours ago but it’s being held in quarantine. I presume I mistyped my credentials on my phone. Doing this now to test that and see if, perhaps, it’s me that’s being isolated.
Number 2 is “Cheap Trick at Budokan” (or “Cheap Trick at Nudism” by my phone’s autocorrect). More about that in my other reply.
28 April 2020
EXXO
Well played both Paul & Keith – points all round – and apologies Paul, both for my error and my views about a record I haven’t heard in 40 years, so may have misremembered. So between you, you have 16 point so far.
Follow-up questions delayed till this evening. If something is worth doing mediocrely, it’s worth doing late for your own deadline is generally my motto.
29 April 2020
dr desperate
Oops, misread Q 6. And I’d like to say I rejected Cheap Trick for Q 2 because of the misinformation, but … surrender, surrender.
Rick Nielsen is the geezer with a quintuple-necked guitar, and has one shaped like a saxophone in the corner.
So we still need answers to Qs 7, 8, 10 and 12.
29 April 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Nul Points
29 April 2020
EXXO
The Supplementary Dream Sequence Quiz Sub-Plot
Weeks four and five of Lockdown produced the inevitable outpouring of charity singles, from Major Tom to the Live Lounge via Tony Hawks. These in turn gave me some disturbed nights in which my dreams were punctuated by a veritable Britannia Music Club of imaginary releases, all accompanied by nightmarish artwork that seemed frighteningly real. So I bring you the first ever Friday Quiz Supplement (on a Thursday) that requires you to imagine the answers. It’s easy if you try.
By definition therefore, any and all answers are correct, but it will be interesting to see if anyone dreams up the same ideas as me. Like friends at school, answers to this one may prove to be even thinner on the ground than usual, so I’ll limit it to the five questions (wanted to do more, hence the delay) and I’ll give the “answers” on Friday evening before setting another more traditional quiz on a new theme. Oh and I’ll give the four remaining answers to the real album covers quiz as well.
1. It has already been pointed out for this site that two HMHB songs, one about staying in and one about what to do when you go out, would be particularly apt for a Lockdown double A-side release. And since HMHB collaborator Steve Hardstaff has done such a brilliant job adapting Van Gogh for an EP and album cover in the past, he would surely have no trouble adapting the work of other great artists either. What are the two songs and which artist, mentioned in one of them, could inspire the cover art work? Please suggest some appropriately surreal images.
2. The writer of the ‘Letters Sent’ from the CD inlay of ‘Achtung Bono’ is of course a famously opinionated chap. He is planning a charity single to promote social distancing and hygiene in public places. The front CD cover has been designed by the art teacher from ‘The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman,’ inspired by his own artistic hero. Describe some of the imagery. Separately, Dean Friedman himself volunteered to do what for the back cover (it involves a stuffed animal)?
3. Meanwhile an outfit calling themselves ‘The Paintball Couple’ are planning to release their own dance album to celebrate the end of lockdown, as and when that happens. The guest vocalist has already agreed to be sampled. What’s the album called, who’s the guest artist and can you describe any of the artwork?
4. The Chatteris Town Hall Band CD is of course, entitled ‘A Grower.’ Describe the unique Trumpton-inspired fold-out effects for the cover of the vinyl LP.
5. Meanwhile, Alan McGee has returned from his decade-long career break dabbling with occultism and decided to finally release that long-lost Liquid Greek demo. Which visual image, specifically mentioned in a 2008 HMHB song, has he suggested for the album cover, as it would perfectly represent the high-pitched lamentations of the Lincoln woman?
30 April 2020
Parsfan
In honour of Mr Siteowner’s quick resolution of the mobile display issue earlier, here’s my Mr Quiz.
It’s very simple, more of a challenge than a quiz really, and there’s different ways you can go about it. The two obvious ones are –
1 – see how many you get in, say, half an hour
2 – how long it takes to get them all
Those two challenges are by no means mutually exclusive as I seriously doubt anyone can do it in 30 minutes.
I absolve myself of any responsibility for contention. If the list of answers is incomplete or wrong – you’re all to blame, but mostly Chris.
So, to the quiz.
The “A to Z of HMHB” lists 18 “Mr”s. Name those men and the songs in which they appear. 36 points up for grabs.
Results for challenge 1 can be posted in half an hour. The other one as and when but let’s just say post your final tally on Monday after 6.
There’s a very obvious way to cheat, but you’d only be cheating yourself, so no doing that.
1 May 2020
John anderson
@parsfan I reckon I’ve got 12 in half an hour. Some are real people, some are made-up characters and some are descriptive such as in Mr Personality. Not sure about the strict rules.
Shall I post them or would that spoil it for everyone else?
1 May 2020
transit full of keith
Nine Misters in half an hour for me, plus song titles, so I guess 18 points … I presume no posting of answers till Monday?
1 May 2020
Parsfan
Please, don’t post answers at all. I haven’t even done it myself yet (the two weeks since I counted them is enough time for me to have forgotten any I wouldn’t have immediately thought of).
On Monday I was just going to post a link to the M page in the A to Z.
It’s occurred to me that one isn’t mentioned in the lyrics. Take that as a starter for two.
1 May 2020
EXXO
THE ALBUM COVERS QUIZ
1. This album, clearly reviled by Nigel Blackwell, is directly mentioned, with the cover artist separately dissed in an earlier song?
Tales from Topographic Oceans, by Yes
2. This album cover, also much reviled by our man, shows just the frontman and the main songwriter smiling inanely on stage. I well remember a sticker on the album cover that advertised the colour of the vinyl, and there is little doubt that this lurid description of the shade added many thousands to the sales of this fairly turgid stuff.
Live at Budokan, by Cheap Trick
3. This detested album was named after its cover art work, which was done about a decade earlier, with one of two additions for the album cover.
Alchemy, by Dire Straits
4. Which famous album cover shows the singer walking through the snow past a VW camper van?
The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan
5. Which band’s second most famous album cover features an iconic image sculpted a mere seventy years before the album’s release, though you would probably guess it was much older?
Closer, by Joy Division
6. This artist’s album covers, all featuring photos of him of course, include one of him posing with a gangsterish Tommy gun, one of him posing with a baby, and one of him posing with a violin that he can’t play. But it is probably his first solo album title which sums up his recent contribution to social commentary.
Viva Hate, by the hateful knobhead Morrissey
7. One of the first brand new albums I ever bought was the one with the inflatable pig on the cover. But whose most recent album featured various inflatable creatures, including turtles, a crocodile and probable whales/dolphins/sharks?
Giants of All Sizes, by Elbow (2019)
8. Nearly all of this artist’s album covers are portrait shots with a centre parting.
Mary Hopkin, who after being forced through the pop machine with increasing reluctance, only wanted to make one decent folk album – Earth Song, Ocean Song
9. This artist’s “best-of” compilation shows him with a glass of red wine, but which album depicts him with a cuddly toy on his shoulder?
Squirrels in the Attic, by Dean Friedman
10. This HMHB-referenced band split at the height of their fame, and so their record company immediately released this compilation album. The cover shows a crudely-drawn, shadowy figure not doing what the band’s greatest hit tells us not to do.
Der Kommissar, by After the Fire
11. This artist’s album covers often inevitably involved nods to Egyptological iconography. But which of his album covers was very obviously influenced by one of Hieronymus Bosch’s most famous paintings?
I was thinking of the 1973 re-issue of Atlantis, by Sun Ra</, which has extensive Bosch, but Dr D’s answer is arguably even better as It’s After the End of the World is almost totally Bosch-tastic.
12. Whose long-forgotten 1973 album cover (far more obscure than any of those featured in the previous “Albums of 1973” quiz) featured a garish hotch-potch of 1920’s and 1950’s visual styles, perhaps in order to conjure up the idea of going to a cinema designed in the 1920’s, 30 years or so later?
Nickelodeon, by Hudson Ford.
1 May 2020
Alice van der meer
Bloody hell – I remember Hudson Ford turning up on a late-night German satellite TV channel back in 1994, never came across the name again until just this minute!
1 May 2020
EXXO
I’m sure you found the follow-up a bit too straightforward, but here are some possible answers anyway.
1. It has already been pointed out for this site that two HMHB songs, one about staying in and one about what to do when you go out, would be particularly apt for a Lockdown double A-side release. And since HMHB collaborator Steve Hardstaff has done such a brilliant job adapting Van Gogh for an EP and album cover in the past, he would surely have no trouble adapting the work of other great artists either. What are the two songs and which artist, mentioned in one of them, could inspire the cover art work? Please suggest some appropriately surreal images.
In my dream, the cover of the double A-side of The Best Things in Life/Keeping Two Chevrons Apart features Dali-inspired images by Steve Hardstaff, for example melting M&S slippers draped over the skeletons of trees with stick figures biro-ed on their soles, all perfectly representing the goals from that day’s football. All the melting clocks set into the soles of the melting slippers are set to 10.30 pm.
2. The writer of the ‘Letters Sent’ from the CD inlay of ‘Achtung Bono’ is of course a famously opinionated chap. He is planning a charity single to promote social distancing and hygiene in public places. The front CD cover has been designed by the art teacher from ‘The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman,’ inspired by his own artistic hero. Describe some of the imagery. Separately, Dean Friedman himself volunteered to do what for the back cover (it involves a stuffed animal)?
Magritte has probably had more influence on album covers than any other single artist so in my cliched dream, the art teacher from The Bastard Son has filled the sky with a lethal rain of umbrellas, pigeons, etc, all very regularly spaced apart and slanting down towards the virus-faced idiots and cafe bars of the precinct. On the back cover dean Friedman himself smirks with a stuffed pigeon on his shoulder and pigeon shit dribbling down his arm, while behind him others are safe under two- metre wide umbrellas covered in pigeon shit.
3. Meanwhile an outfit calling themselves ‘The Paintball Couple’ are planning to release their own dance album to celebrate the end of lockdown, as and when that happens. The guest vocalist has already agreed to be sampled. What’s the album called, who’s the guest artist and can you describe any of the artwork?
In my dream, The Whole World in Their House, with guest vocal samples from all the hits of Annie Lennox, is a sickeningly Giles-Peterson-friendly album, with cultural appropriation abounding throughout as each track brings together myriad ‘world music influences’ and Cerys presents a special documentary about it on 6Music. The cover art of course shows a globe inside a house and the gatefold shows the queue of millions and billions of people and animals coming down the street, pouring into the front door, and so into the globe itself. The back cover does not show the dystopian devastation that may or may not follow this gathering, nor does it succumb to the obvious temptation to depict the burst globe with bombed-out conservatory and smouldering ashes of millions consumed by all that volcanic lava on the back patio.
4. The Chatteris Town Hall Band CD is of course, entitled ‘A Grower.’ Describe the unique Trumpton-inspired fold-out effects for the cover of the vinyl LP.
The first album to properly fold out into a cardboard monstrosity four times larger, the cover is the Trumpton musical box, but by the time it has folded out it has revealed the town hall, then the band marching out into the town square, together with one of those Terry Gilliam type creeping, climbing plants. As the delights of Trumpton/Chatteris are revealed, so the monstrous plant gradually envelops, chokes and consumes them and the band goose-step over their infected remains as the elite appear on the town hall balcony in triumph on the back cover
5. Meanwhile, Alan McGee has returned from his decade-long career break dabbling with occultism and decided to finally release that long-lost Liquid Greek demo. Which visual image, specifically mentioned in a 2008 HMHB song, has he suggested for the album cover, as it would perfectly represent the high-pitched lamentations of the Lincoln woman?
The Scream.
Hope you got all that.
1 May 2020
dr desperate
@Exxo Exxcellent album quiz there, a fine mixture of the bleeding obvious and utterly impossible. I’m still dreaming about the Supplementary Subplot.
2 May 2020
dr desperate
@PF I also got 9 Mister Men, though one of them is (unsurprisingly) unmentioned in the lyrics. If, following the primary rule of quizzing, my answer is the same as yours, that should give me 10.
(I’d rejected one possibility, thinking he was a M. rather than a Mr., but now I’ve checked I see I could have had him aussi.)
2 May 2020
EXXO
Great little question that Paul. I’d say I rattled off 6 right away, had 9 within ten minutes then got a bit stuck, until after 20 minutes I thought of one really obscure one which somehow unlocked the door to two more, then accidentally cheated and found a 13th.
13 in half an hour BUT that was this morning… I did see your question last night without having a chance to think about it then, but who knows maybe I slept with it at the back of my mind…
2 May 2020
EXXO
My 15th “Mister” (3 hours in, thinking about this now more off than on) is probably the expression I use meself most often of all of them so far, so there’s hope yet.
2 May 2020
EXXO
Once I’d got my 16th I didn’t really want to get a 17th, as I suspected that would mean days stuck tantalisingly on 17. So I relaxed, made a pot of chai and it turned out that 17&18 were from the same song and were alliterative so they both came at once.
So 3 hours 16 minutes, with a slight cheat in that while checking the spelling of number 12 I accidentally saw number 13.
2 May 2020
EXXO
Weny out for w walk, saw a nuthatch and a dipper, both first time here in years, and by the time I came back I had 21 “Misters” si I;’ve just been on the A-Z to check which three I have that aren’t on there. Interesting.
2 May 2020
mister tubbs
I managed to come up with 14 names in my 30 minutes. Although after checking the A-Z, one of them doesn’t appear under Mister. I thought one or two others might also only appear in the A-Z under their full names/real names, but it seems I’ve got 13, albeit with a couple of spelling mistakes.
I think I’ll need a bit more than 30 minutes to come up with something for Exxo’s fascinating dream quiz!
2 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
2 of my 9 were not in the A-Z: oddly the first two I thought of.
2 May 2020
parsfan
Well, if exercise has done nothing else, it means I’ll no longer feel guilty about not doing other people’s quizzes – this time I haven’t even done my own.
I’ll post these as a list after all, just in case any are added later.
The 18 misters I was hoping you’d find are:
Mr Blair (You’re Hard)
Mr Cave (Mr Cave’s a Window Cleaner Now)
Mr Ed (Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled))
Mr Galbraith (Third Track Main Camera Four Minutes)
Mr Gauloises (Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent)
Mr Gruffydd (The Referee’s Alphabet)
Mr Hibbert (Breaking News)
Mr IQ (I Left My Heart In Papworth General)
Mr Kowalski (Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis)
Mr Lama (Ready Steady Goa)
Mr Leary (Ready Steady Goa)
Mr McGee (Get Kramer)
Mr Spokesman (San Antonio Foam Party)
Mr Squires (Mileage Chart)
Mr Stinchcombe (Epiphany)
Mr Universe (This One’s For Now)
Mr Wet Underpants (Little In The Way Of Sunshine)
Mr Wu (Mars Ultras, You’ll Never Make The Station)
I think I would have got about 10.
Please post anymore you’ve found, maybe give the A-Z a freshen-up.
Cheers, thanks for taking part.
4 May 2020
EXXO
Thanks Paul, I enjoyed that challenge.My three that aren’t in the A-Z are Mr.Gwatkin, Mr. Irony & Mr. Edmonds (which, like Mr. Cave, is in the title but not the lyrics).
4 May 2020
EXXO
Thanks Paul, I enjoyed that challenge.My three that aren’t in the A-Z are Mr.Gwatkin, Mr. Irony & Mr. Edmonds (which, like Mr. Cave, is in the title but not the lyrics).
4 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I had 7 of the 18 in the A-Z, plus Mr Irony, and Mr Out In Round One.
4 May 2020
dr desperate
“Visitor’s intention over two-day period, we hear in Monmore?” (6,7,7)
5 May 2020
lord leominster
I have an answer that fits the clues but I know it’s wrong because it makes absolutely no sense. I may share when the correct answer is revealed.
5 May 2020
transit full of keith
Finding your cryptic clue hard to crack, Dr.D. Is it a new quiz question, or is it related to the previous Misters?
5 May 2020
transit full of keith
Ha, and no sooner had I posted that than I arrived at the answer. Nice one. Shall I post it or shall I leave it for others?
5 May 2020
dr desperate
Leave it to others today, post tomorrow?
5 May 2020
Lord leominster
Ah! Got it.
6 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
“Murder mystery weekend”.
Took me a while, because I was wrongly convinced that “we hear in Monmore” meant the answer was going to be a West Midlands accent pun. As in one of my favourite crossword clues “70s neckwear sounds like Noddy Holder’s cup of tea” (6,3).
6 May 2020
lord leominster
Kipper tie.
6 May 2020
dr desperate
MMW, correct!
For non-cruciverbalists, the phrase “we hear” is commonly used in cryptic clues to indicate a homophone, in this case ‘Mister E.’ (Edmonds) for ‘mystery’. The visitor’s intention was to murder Mr E, and the two-day period is, of course, a weekend, giving ‘murder mystery weekend’, heard in ‘Monmore, Hare’s Running’.
(Exxo’s bro will be aware that this Sunday marks the 2,500th Azed puzzle in The Observer, which we should have been celebrating with an agreeable lunch at an Oxford college last weekend. Hey-ho.)
6 May 2020
transit full of keith
Correct, Lord L. (Don’t know who the setter was, but it was one of the Guardian’s I think).
6 May 2020
dr desperate
One of Tramp’s (Neil Walker) from the Guardian Cryptic No. 25,416, @Keith.
He chose his pseudonym because he’s a big Supertramp fan, apparently.
6 May 2020
EXXO
6 May 2020
EXXO
Took me about 0.25 seconds cos it’s the only thing in the lyrics that fits, and weekend is 2 days, then you go “huh?” about the rest and about 10 secs later you work out the pun.
6 May 2020
EXXO
Before I post this link, I’ll just point out that I have very different interests from my big brother who does crosswords competitively like our own Doctor Des, and I live in a very different world to him so I had no idea that people went to £55 lunches to celebrate milestones in top, top crossword setting, but then a ticket to some crock of shit footy match could be about that much these days so well, isn’t life weird and wonderful … Anyway, when I googled the event he’s just referred to, that brought up this link to the last such lunch 5 years ago, and to a very fine piece of verse that the Doc composed for the occasion, though obviously a lot of the references are wasted on us.
http://www.andlit.org.uk/azed/az2250lunch.php
6 May 2020
Schoon
State holiday, Nina? That’s messed up if it is (8, 5, 3).
6 May 2020
Lord leominster
Ha! To be honest I felt a bit miffed at being told that we should’ve got the weekend clue in 10.25 seconds and not the day and a bit it actually took me. But then I got this one in under a minute. I’m sure I’ve already been beaten to the answer by better minds but I’m still pleased with myself. Good clue by the way.
6 May 2020
EXXO
For me it didn’t work as a test, because you just go through the lyrics of “Monmore” for 3-word phrases that involve something that means 2 days, which can only be “weekend, ” and that process literally took me 0.25 secs as it’s one of the songs I could recite most reliably.
Mind you, I still often sing “Mevagissey weekend.” I might have only thought that it might be that for my first few listens to Voyage, but somehow it has stuck.
6 May 2020
Alice van der meer
If anyone has ever wondered (Why? Were you that bored?) what sort of a place Oxford is, I showed the article to SWMBO who was brought up there and never mind spotting the good Dr D, the first thing she said was “Oh, that’s so and so’s dad!” He wasn’t the only person she recognised either…
6 May 2020
EXXO
The Friday Quiz – Slightly Pointless?
I can’t be the only one who’s wondered if there’s any way to devise a quiz on here a bit like Pointless. Tricky, because we can’t ask all the questions to 100 HMHB fans first, to see how many points each answer scores.
So, what if I volunteer to allocate points to possible answers in advance, deciding which will be pointless if indeed those answers are offered by contestants? I do have a reasonable success rate, while watching the show, of guessing how many points each answer will score, and from speaking to 100 HMHB fans at gigs I kind of know what they know.
So, for example. Let’s imagine the topic is The 1870’s Name three things/people that are referenced in HMHB lyrics which occurred/had significant life events in the 1870’s.
Example answers might be-
1. This was during the reign of Queen Victoria (Dental Floss) – 95 points, as very easy.
2. Queen Victoria (Dental Floss) may in the 1870’s have said something about being “not amused,” which is what the song refers to – 15 points – a good effort, but not really all that historically accurate, and not very obscure.
3.Birth of Ernest Shackleton (1874) – 20 points – good answer, not very obscure.
4. Birth of Vaughan Williams (1872) who wrote ‘The Lark Ascending’ – 0 points – very obscure, not least because ‘the Lark Descending’ is on one of HMHB’s least-known EP’s.
5.Thomas Hardy publishes his first successful novels, and HMHB have more Hardy references than any other author. OK, but could do better.30 points.
6.Thomas Hardy publishes ‘Far From the Madding Crowd.’ This novel is not referenced by HMHB, so again, 30 points.
7.Thomas Hardy publishes ‘The Return of the Native,’ (1878) – much more impressive as this novel is directly referenced – 2 points
8.Opening of the Albert Hall (1871) – 0 points – excellent answer, just ‘cos a building is so much more obscure than a famous person
9. The year Cetshwayo’s impis attacked Rorke’s Drift (1879) – 10 points
10. First publication of Crimond (1872) – 0 points – what a fine answer.
etc, etc
These points are arbitrary, clearly, but someone has to do it and it is “fair” because:
(i) I will write down the possible answers and allocated points in advance and send them by email to an independent person before the quiz is set.
(ii) Anything else you give as an answer, which I didn’t think of in my pre-quiz email – will either be wrong (100 points) if it’s wrong, or Pointless if it is a good answer.
(Things will also be ‘wrong’ if the break certain other rules which will be laid out in advance).
That’s the simple part, though. The real complication is that clearly we can’t have people giving possible answers hints and clues on here. So this, like the Xmas quiz, would need to be done elsewhere where messages are sent but no comments are published. Like the Xmas quiz that went on my disused blog, that could be the place.
Who’s up for it? If I publish on my blog ten questions similar to the above one late this afternoon , you have to try to find 3 answers for each one that are as POINTLESS as possible … within FOUR DAYS, and send them to me when ready.
8 May 2020
EXXO
When I say “what they know” I do of course mean “what some of you could find within a few days, by trawling your memories of the songs and then googling.”
Anyone think it could work?
8 May 2020
mister tubbs
@Exxo – Sounds like a very good idea, although the 1870’s are a bit before my time!
8 May 2020
EXXO
Underwhelming response, but what could I expect after dissing the Doc’s Monmore clue?
So anyway, at least I wrote the questions on a Friday but couldn’t be arsed publishing it on the blog because it did require a bit more small print on the rules & regulations (and besides I was distracted by the sheer mediocrity of the Belarusian football and the rowdy racing from Tampa Bay).
My small print can’t cover all eventualities, but some of the most important bits are:
All answers are about people, major events and ‘publications’ (which can be any artistic genre – writing, music, visual art) referred to or parodied by HMHB. PLACES will NOT normally qualify for this largely history-, biography- and culture-based quiz, e.g. the mention of Heswall in the Domesday Book would not qualify for an “11th century events” category, nor would the erection of a major religious erection in Swaffham qualify for a “late 18th century event”. However, if there had been a major battle of Swaffham or a major Treaty of Heswall in the appropriate year, well yes, those would be major events indeed. It would need to be something that didn’t happen in a great many places in that period. So minor skirmishes during the Civil War would not count if the category was mid-17th C, nor would bombing raids in the Blitz or building of airbases in WW2, etc, etc.
As you will see, some of the questions have further exclusions (eg one category where ‘people born in such-and-such-years’ would be too easy).
Extremely tenuous links will generally not be allowed (eg first recorded use of the word ‘locksmith’,etc). I must admit I am not completely happy with my three Thomas Hardy examples in the sample answers I gave, as there may be potential for controversy there, but hey, it kind of works.
Most important thing is no answers or hints on here till Wednesday evening.
So I’ll put up the quiz on the blog and then the link by about 1pm today, and we can all be underwhelmed.
9 May 2020
EXXO
Wrote it all out at painful length and then it just disappeared into some interspace timezone.
Might need a stiff drink and some Belarusian football before I try again
9 May 2020
EXXO
This week’s quiz is here, then:
https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/theuffingtonpost.wordpress.com/422
9 May 2020
EXXO
I forgot to state another important rule – you can’t have the same answer for more than one category. As a result, I’m inclined to extend the deadline. How about Thursday 7pm instead? No answers on here till then please.
13 May 2020
EXXO
Well it would appear that the Reuleaux triangle of Pointless, History and HMHB obsessives is even smaller than I imagined.
In church hall tomorrow, 7pm, if we get any interest.
14 May 2020
EXXO
Well I thought a few people would quite like the Pointless idea, but nobody did. I even tweeted Richard Osman about it (or I think I did – I don’t really know how you tweet someone). Roundly ignored, zeitgeist uncaptured.
I won’t give out any answers as it should be possible to recycle the material in some other format one day.
15 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I’d been meaning to have a look at it, but one thing and another got in the way this week. I may give it a go at the weekend if it’s still up. I like a bit of Pointless.
15 May 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
So I’m just sitting at home on this Saturday evening, listening to HMHB and getting pleasantly inebriated, as one is wont to do during a pandemic.
I don’t know if this topic has been discussed here before, but one of the many things I love about the Bard of Birkenhead’s songwriting is the vocabulary he employs. I decided to post this under this song, because it’s such a great example of it.
In addition to the magnificently sublime “Chap wracked with anguish incarnate” phrase discussed above, this song contains the following wonderful words and phrases, none of which I can recall ever hearing in any other rock/pop song:
flavoursome
fraudulent charms
dastardly
wretch
curb your lamenting
unrequited
Right, I know it’s quite possible that many of you may have heard these words in other songs, given that you all know a lot of music that I don’t know, but this song just scratches the vocabularic surface, so to speak. Mind, I’m not even talking about all the proper nouns (celebrities, towns, and the like) – I just mean words that can be found in any dictionary. Randomly sampling from other songs I’ve been listening to this evening, off the top of my head, I can say with some degree of certainty that I have never heard any of these words in any other rock/pop songs:
hitherto, stroppy, trellising, laudanum, decree nisi, lanyard, tabard, cuckolded, bivvie, foibles, horticultural, porcine, megalomaniacal, spindrift, fritillary, sanderling, glebe, erstwhile, eiderdown, homeopathic, linnet, bonce, plaudits, piccalilli, graffito, perdition, abysmals, boondock, inexcorable, narky, wattle, daub, cricketing, runnel, ascertain, ombudsman, agoraphobia, mirthless, lexicographers, dunderheads, gnarled, scythed, blurts, pundits, vitriol, villification, occasionals, mulch, flora, fauna, barton, foisted, vestibule, galoot, counterblast, blathering, meerkats, slumbereth, askance, hapless, moribund, glib, and, of course, bilious.
And as I said, that is is just a sampling from tonight’s set list, and is a certainly a woefully incomplete list of HMHB’s lexiconic prowess.
(As an honourable mention, I would have also included the word “ennui” in the list, except for the fact that I know I learned the word “ennui” from a Pete Townshend song in 1982. Had to haul out an unabridged dictionary, as I recall.)
17 May 2020
Lord leominster
TV Steve, yes an incredible vocabulary indeed. Just for context I think it worth mentioning for the benefit of others that you are, I believe, American. Also for context I am English.
Cricketing and decree nisi are examples of words used in England that would not have transferred to American English. Many of those words listed are from a bygone era when they would have been in common use. Their use in a modern setting adds a certain twist and touch of class.
There are plenty of words listed that were new to me on listening to the songs. You mention ennui which is one such example that I looked up at the time out of interest. I encountered that word in literature just last week in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein which made me smile. (It also made me wonder if NB had read that book as it turns out the Frankenstein’s monster has himself read Paradise Lost.)
Hearing these words in song is fantastic good fun.
17 May 2020
Cathedral juice
I’m reminded of one of my very favourite lyrics, from Billy Bragg’s ‘The Saturday Boy’:
‘In the end it took me a dictionary / To find out the meaning of “unrequited”’
This is just the thread for a sort-of-locked-down-depending-on-who-you-believe Sunday.
17 May 2020
EXXO
I often think about the times when we were teenagers when we used to try to sneak snatches of our favourite lyrics into bits of creative writing for school. A kind of golden age at around age 13/14 when nothing in English lessons seemed to be aimed at any exam or syllabus, especially when the teacher was Mr. Stevens (we called him “Cat”, of course). You’d try to see if a bit of Floyd, Dylan, Genesis or Barclay James Harvest could get to a tick in the margin, or maybe you’d even get a few words of praise for a comment about a turn of phrase that he didn’t know you’d nicked from Peter Gabriel or Geddy Lee. Sometimes at the start of the lesson he’d read bits out that you knew the lad being praised had nicked from one of your favourite prog albums or even from some recent sci-fi. Imagine what a field day a teenage HMHB fan could have, in a hypothetical world where there was any such thing as a teenage HMHB fan, and any such thing as a creative writing class!
17 May 2020
JOHN Anderson
Idiot Joy Showland by The Fall includes the word laudanum, while vestibule features in My Ding-a-Ling by Chuck Berry.
Thanks @FTVPS that’s the rest of my day sorted.
17 May 2020
EXXO
Yes, I think FTVP Steve has, without realising it, set us this week’s quiz, which as well as clearly capturing the zeitgeist better than my recent effort, works nicely on two levels:
(i) which HMHB song is the word from?
(ii) does it appear in any other songs by anyone else?
17 May 2020
john anderson
Eiderdown.
1) Restless Legs
2) When I Was a Kid – Robyn Hitchcock
Hitchcock rivals NB as an employer of unusual words in his lyrics so there may be some cross fertilisation there.
17 May 2020
EXXO
Taking side bets on how long before Chris shifts this to the quiz thread.
(Yep – Ed)
17 May 2020
Lord leominster
‘Eiderdown’ also makes an appearance in Badly Drawn Boy’s Have You Fed The Fish? I’m not sure why I felt the need to share that.
17 May 2020
Chris The Siteowner
OK, because I know you want it, here are all 8026 words used in the songs or their titles.
And here’s the number of times they appear (although note that may include many times in the same song!).
And finally, here are some links to Google searches which might help see if anyone else has used the word.
17 May 2020
john andersoN
Should have it done by the end of lockdown, Chris.
17 May 2020
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Well, this is an alarming development. Most times I’m not even qualified to participate in these quizzes – I never thought I’d be writing one, even inadvertently.
And yes, @milord Leo, you are correct about my nationality (and yours, too, presumably), and because of that I even hesitated before posting, for fear that I might be bombarded with retorts like “Steve, what are you on about? British songwriters use the word bilious all the time!” I felt that especially might be the case for some of the words I included such as narky and stroppy, which are Britishisms that are simply never heard over here, in songwriting or anywhere else.
And @Exxo – you say you did that at 13/14? I did that when I was in college (pardon me, when I was at university). I remember writing a short story in which one character’s entire dialogue was made up of lines from Pete Townshend songs. Reviews for the character were mixed, at best.
17 May 2020
john anderson
Moribund.
1) Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools
2) Moribund The Burgermeister – Peter Gabriel
17 May 2020
Lord leominster
I’m not sure that this word is party unusual it itself but it’s certainly not one that you’d expect to crop up in song too often:
Octopus
1) Them’s The Vagaries
2) Have You Fed The Fish? – Badly Drawn Boy.
17 May 2020
John Anderson
It crops up songs titles by The Beatles and Syd Barrett plus a Jefferson Starship album and is also mentioned in The Gift by the Velvet Underground.
17 May 2020
Lord leominster
I’ll take that back, if I may? I remembered that dreadful Beatles song as soon as I’d posted.
17 May 2020
EXXO
Found about thirty songs on google with ‘inexorable,’ most of them metal, with exactly the kind of generic metal lyrics from which the piss is ripped in ‘Left Lyrics,’ and Jack White (song: Abulia and Akrasia, 2018) and Carcass (song: Carnal Forge 🙂 , 1994) being the only artists I’d heard of.
17 May 2020
EXXO
In the Irish rebel song folk tradition, “Green Linnet” was the code name for Napoleon Bonaparte who they hoped would break the chains of British rule. Indeed in the early 19th century the Society of United Irishmen (the Irish independence organization led by Theobald Wolfe Tone and Robert Emmet), allied themselves with France against Britain, but as history would prove, to no effect. The songs, however, were passed down to latter generations, which is why an American celtic music label was called Green Linnet from 1973 to 2006.
The most famous song about the Green Linnet is probably ‘The Green Linnet.’
https://mainlynorfolk.info/folk/songs/thegreenlinnet.html
17 May 2020
CARRIE ANNE
Foibles
1. Little In The Way Of Sunshine
2. Never Going Nowhere – The Bluetones
“Your one charming foibles now drive me up the wall”
18 May 2020
dr desperate
Cagoule
1. The Bane of Constance
2. God Bless The Fleece – John Shuttleworth
“Goodbye fair cagoule, you’ve been made to look a fool
By a coat superior in every department.”
I once mentioned this lyrical overlap (and a few others) to Graham Fellows, who admitted to being aware of HMHB, but not a particular fan. Go figure.
18 May 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Petrol.
1 Twenty Four Hour Garage People.
2 That’s Entertainment-The Jam.
Waking up at six AM on a cool warm morning
Opening the windows and breathing in petrol….
18 May 2020
Arm – breaking swan
Linnet features in the old music hall song My Old Man (Said Follow the Van)
most famously sang by Marie Lloyd:
Off went the van wiv me ‘ome packed in it,
I walked behind wiv me old cock linnet.
Also a tad more poignantly in Dick Gaughan’s excellent version of the Robert Burns’ poem Now Westlin’ Winds:
The hazel bush o’erhangs the thrush
The spreading thorn the linnet
18 May 2020
Lux inferior
As well as appearing in “Baguette Dilemma…”, ‘bilious’ is also contained within the lyrics of “Repression Out Of Uniform”, by another of Peel’s favourites, Napalm Death.
“Your true colors make us reel, scab
Garish hue with bilious sheen, scab
No dressing up to the nines, scab
It’s permanent under the skin.”
Splendid.
18 May 2020
cream cheese and chives
‘Wretch’ appears in Amazing Grace . If there were any pedants here they might argue that this was/is a hymn but it was in the charts for 67 weeks when recorded by Judy Collins. Does that make it a pop/rock song?
18 May 2020
parsfan
Unrequited
1. The Coroner’s Footnote
2. Something by The Pursuit of Happiness from the first album (possibly She’s So Young).
I’m certain Robyn Hitchcock has meerkats in a song, but can’t think of what it is. I listened to three albums back-to-back this afternoon but it wasn’t on any of those (or perhaps I missed it, I was working after all). I used to have a rough mental list of just this sort of thing, with meerkats at the top, but I can’t think of any off-hand (I don’t think Virginia Woolf should count).
This would be much easier going the other way.
18 May 2020
parsfan
D’oh!
Now I’ve sent that I’m sure Sylvia Plath gets a mention on his last album.
18 May 2020
professor abelazar woozle
Another Octopus reference would be the early Van Der Graaf Generator song of that name – “The Octopus now enfolds me,I know you too well….” For good measure, they often paired it up with a manic instrumental called “Squid” so double link there to Vagaries!
18 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Devendra Banhart
Little Yellow Spider:
And hey there, Mr. Happy Squid, you move so psychedelically
You hypnotize with your magic dance all the animals in the sea
For sure
19 May 2020
John anderson
And obviously there’s Squid Lord (aka Squid Law) by the mighty Fall. Squid also gets a mention in Underwater Moonlight by the Soft Boys.
@Parsfan I can’t think of a Robyn Hitchcock song featuring meerkats but you may well be right.
19 May 2020
john anderson
Eureka!
Meerkats
1) Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not
2) Sometimes A Blonde – Robyn Hitchcock
Points a celebratory finger at Parsfan for the assist.
It’s on the album Spooked.
“And ghosts walk in the fire of angels
Honeycombs and principals, ocelots and meerkats”.
19 May 2020
lord leominster
This morning I accidentally found another Badly Drawn Boy / HMHB link and one that, in timely fashion, ties in a Joy Division reference:
Badly Drawn Boy, Another Devil Dies, 2004
“When that bell rings an angel get its wings…
…The hatred will tear us apart”
19 May 2020
cream cheese and chives
Having a bit of a Jake Thackray session this morning, ‘eiderdown’ suddenly surfaced in ‘ The Poor Sod’.
‘Under this thin eiderdown
Thinking of days that have gone before’
Given their lyrical prowess, I would not be surprised to find that NB had mined the same seam as Jake and so have given myself a pleasant afternoon of lazy listening .
19 May 2020
cream cheese and chives
I’d imagine Ivor Cutler would be a good place to go looking too. Some days just aren’t long enough
.
19 May 2020
dr desperate
Cornflakes
1. Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)
2. If All the Cornflakes – Ivor Cutler
“If all the cornflakes in the world were floated from New York in a easterly direction…”
19 May 2020
john anderson
“Cornflake packet jackets, catalogue trousers, a mouth what never closes”.
“Never was a cornflake girl”.
19 May 2020
professor abelazar woozle
I’ve been having a chew over “glebe”, as used in “Tending the Wrong Grave for 23 Years” and I’ve a strong suspicion it may not occur in anyone else’s songs, I can’t even think of any obscure folk song off an Adam Boyle-confounding Topic album where it crops up!
19 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Aussie band You Am I had a single called Purple Sneakers in the 90s that opens with the lyric “Had a scratch only you could itch, underneath the Glebe Point bridge”, but that’s obviously a place name.
19 May 2020
cream cheese and chives
I just came across this. In a catalogue of unproductive days today is turning into a completely empty double page!
https://andymurdoch.bandcamp.com/track/wrong-bin-wrong-day
19 May 2020
cream cheese and chives
Is there any scope in suggesting that NB and Jake Thackray both use the word eiderdown with some aplomb?
19 May 2020
transit full of keith
Speaking of Jack Thackray:
Albert Hall
1) Monmore Hare’s Running
2) Isabel Makes Love Upon National Monuments
19 May 2020
transit full of keith
(Sorry, Jake Thackray).
19 May 2020
transit full of keith
Not that my answer bears any relation to FTVPS’s quiz. I just like the song title.
19 May 2020
transit full of keith
Piccalilli
1) Joy Division Oven Gloves
2) A Little Bit of Cucumber by Harry Champion
(Almost unlistenable cockney music hall number)
19 May 2020
lord leominster
The Beatles got there first with Albert Hall too, in A Day In The Life.
19 May 2020
lord leominster
…and not forgetting Hitler Has Only Got One Ball.
19 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Piccalilli Keith
At the end of Lily the Pink,
sadly Picca-Lily died.
19 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Vestibule
1) Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not
2) My Ding-a-Ling by Chuck Berry
19 May 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Satin.
1) Tour Jacket with Detachable Sleeves.
2) You’re More than Fair-Ian Dury and the Blockheads.
https://youtu.be/XnsZ6Ri2FiQ
19 May 2020
Parsfan
@John Anderson, Yes that’s the one. I thought it was older than that (2004) and didn’t go past Luxor (2003).
Withered Hand’s Cornflake is very good, just not mentioned in the lyrics. Was that even one of the words? They have them in The States surely, or has this morphed into mentioning any song that uses any word used in a Biscuit song?
19 May 2020
John anderson
@TFOK I refer you to the answer I gave some days ago.
19 May 2020
professor abelazar woozle
@Idiot Saul – good spot with that Glebe reference, since its usage these days is almost exclusively in place names I’d say that counts.
@Lord L – although I also grew up knowing the Albert Hall as the location of the fuehrer’s missing knacker, it seems there are some regional variations. A friend from Blackburn had the Free Trade Hall as the location, and I recall another friend from Bristol who put it in the Coulston Hall. I’ve long mused on whether this would make a good research project for someone to map out these variations, and once the results were published, I reckon it would be a contender for an IgNobel prize…
20 May 2020
EXXO
Shithole of a pub called the Stumble Inn in central Sunderland, used to be the Glebe, home of the Glebe folk club in the 70’s/80’s, which should have had songs written about it.
But there’s no justice, and amongst things that were written about it were a 1987 academic article on The Ethogenics of Musical Performance (in which the author applies Harre’s ethogenic, psychological approach to the rituals of a typical evening at the club), and an unpublished 1984 paper for the British Psychological Society, entitled Accounting for Taste in Music and Song: a Case Study of the Sunderland Glebe Folk and Blues Club
20 May 2020
professor abelazar woozle
@Exxo – do you have the reference for that 1987 article? I’d be interested in seeing what it said, being well-used myself to the rituals of folk clubs…
That’s also got me thinking about whether there are any songs containing the word “galoot”, I’ve got a feeling that there was a Hamish Imlach song with it in but I can’t recall exactly. For those not familiar with him, he was a very large (and funny) Glaswegian who said that when he died he wanted everything to be completely knackered. He expired on Hogmanay with a glass of whisky in his hand – talk about having died happy!
21 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Professor You’ll find a Galoot Up-Date on Frank Zappa’s Thing-Fish album. It begins with much galoot-galooting and concerns a mystery disease gone outta control! Ahead of its time?
22 May 2020
transit full of keith
“I’ll Give You The Grid Ref, You Might Like To Go” Mini quiz
Two OS grid refs. Three songs.
Two of them by Biscuit, the third by another bloke.
NY206064, SH656583.
Name the three songs.
22 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
I believe that triangulation would require Doreen, an Evening of Swing and Ewan Maccoll’s ‘The Joy Of Living’.
22 May 2020
transit full of keith
Spot on Saul. Scafell & Glyder Fach are both mentioned in the MacColl song.
For today’s bonus orienteering proficiency badge, can you navigate your way back to a Biscuit song via a different Ewan MacColl song and SK084875?
22 May 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Ooh, a badge! I should be able to manage that Keith. I’m not a Manchester Rambler, but I am in Derbyshire, so it wouldn’t take to long to get up to Kinder Scout for a Split Single With Happy Lounge Labelmates.
22 May 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Correct!
22 May 2020
transit full of keith
Racecourses quiz
Twelve British racecourses. Answers on Monday.
1) Quality golf club
2) District of molluscs
3) Curse actor
4) Welsh sausage
5) Amphibious clerical headgear
6) Upper class gent’s member
7) Pop Tart Mark’s equipment
8) Bob Wilson, for example
9) Confusing poems
10) Peter Bonetti’s three goals
11) Advertise dried fruit
12) Making jarg bacon
19 June 2020
dr desperate
Excellent, @Keith!
(I should point out that for one of the above locations, the stern grind of reality took its course last year.)
19 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Nice one Keith, although I believe Pop Tart Mark’s equipment is now out of action.
More Courses For Horses:
13. A Scot’s own part of the forest?
14. Heather meadow
15. Text route – all over the place
16. Carry On Teasing
17. Cherry jam jar?
18. In a mess – cannot win
19. Looking for a Gardeners World presenter
20. Some go there for drinking cider
21. Voluptuous, not round
22. Rook replacement
23. Academic angler
24. Yorkshire lass
19 June 2020
transit full of keith
Very nice Saul, I’ve got half of those so far. Good misdirection in no.16: I was thinking Windsor (as in Babs) at first, before I spotted it.
19 June 2020
dr desperate
More excellence, @Saul!
Try these Biscuit-related ones:
25. What’s the Point?
26. Om hier voor de gek te houden op pleziervaartuigen.
27. Bland grassland.
28. Where Bob bought his Benz, possibly.
29. Place to circumambulate, mid-table.
30. Avon walk-in.
31. East Midlands lock-in.
32. Ms James is leaving, backwards.
33. Where the Lord has his wedding tackle.
34. Where the Duke had his division, twice.
35. Where The Duke is on edge, plainly.
36. Faithfully creative hub here.
20 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Most triumphant @Doc. That last one held me up for quite a while.
Another half dozen racecourses from the British Isles:
37. Drowns I Ludicrous
38. Lech, the man in revolt
39. Some creative hub right on the coast
40. What was mastered in the Abyss with Strawbs bassist
41. Lank, dud, awful, cold, rainy place
42. I hear it’s the section of the supermarket where you”d find a drummer.
20 June 2020
transit full of keith
I’ll stick the answers to my ones up at about 5 if nobody objects. (I think I have 18 of the 30 others).
22 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
@Keith
No objection (or steward’s enquiry).
You can weigh in with the answers.
22 June 2020
dr desperate
I can put my answers up later. (I’ve got all the others except 40.)
22 June 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
OK mine were:
1) Goodwood
2) Musselburgh
3) Hexham
4) Bangor (=”banger”)
5) Newton Abbot (=newt on abbot)
6) Chepstow (=”chap’s toe”)
7) Towcester (=”toaster”)
8) Ascot (=a Scot)
9) Epsom (anagram)
10) Catterick (“cat trick”)
11) Market Rasen
12) Fakenham (“fakin’ ham”)
22 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Great stuff @ Keith. I enjoyed this game. My first batch were:
13. A Scot’s own part of the forest? AINTREE
14. Heather meadow LINGFIELD
15. Text route – all over the place UTTOXETER
16. Carry On Teasing TAUNTON
17. Cherry jam jar? REDCAR
18. In a mess – cannot win WINCANTON
19. Looking for a Gardeners World presenter HUNTINGDON
20. Some go there for drinking cider HEREFORD
21. Voluptuous, not round PLUMPTON
22. Rook replacement NEWCASTLE
23. Academic angler DONCASTER
24. Yorkshire lass BEVERLEY
22 June 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Nice, I had all of those except Bev. I’d guessed Hereford on the basis of the cider connection (but only now spotted where you hid it).
22 June 2020
dr desperate
Excellent stuff – I particularly enjoyed 5, 6, 19 and 23. Looking forward to the answer to 40. (Wexford?)
My Biscuit-related ones were:
25. Ayr (Point of; ‘I, Trog’)
26. Chester (“fool around on pleasure craft” in Dutch; ‘Doreen’)
27. Hamilton Park (Bland; ‘Evil Gazebo’)
28. Leicester (Robert of Blaby, in Leicestershire; ‘Bladderwrack Allowance’)
29. Cartmel (“I can go for my walk, around”; ‘Mathematically Safe’)
30. Bath (‘Blue Badge Abuser’, ‘Nerys Hughes’)
31. Nottingham (‘Tonight, Matthew’)
32. Ffos Las (“Sal’s off” backwards; ‘CAMRA Man’)
33. Hereford (‘Lord Hereford’s Knob’)
34. York (Grand Old Duke, 10,000 men is a military division; ‘Venus In Flares’)
35. Salisbury (Duke of Marlborough, edge of Salisbury Plain; ‘Climie Fisher’)
36. Warwick (Marianne Faithfull, Arts Centre; ‘Twydale’s Lament’).
22 June 2020
dr desperate
(I noticed there was an alternative answer to 16, as the kids have it now.)
22 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
I enjoyed those @ Doc. 32 was probably my favourite. ‘Miss James is’ pointed towards Salisbury, until I realised that was 35. If you didn’t get 40, then it may be my crap clue.
37. Drowns I Ludicrous WINDSOR (anagram)
38. Lech, the man in revolt CHELTENHAM (another anagram)
39. Some creative hub right on the coast BRIGHTON hu(b right on)
40. What was mastered in the Abyss with Strawbs bassist STRATFORD (Jeff Dreadnought, in his Bad Review of the Deptford Abyss gig, failed to appreciate the master of the strat and
John Ford was the Strawbs bassist in the Bursting At The Seams era and half of the clinching Hudson Ford discography)
41. Lank, dud, awful, cold, rainy place DUNDALK (anagram)
42. I hear it’s the section of the supermarket where you’d find a drummer CARLISLE (although, come to think of it, I hear it’s where you’d also find a guitarist)
22 June 2020
dr desperate
Stratford, of course Stratford!
O, there has been much throwing about of brains.
22 June 2020
IDIOT SAUL
I meant to say that I also very much enjoyed the Dutch fooling around on pleasure craft at Chester. Roodee can’t fail.
22 June 2020
dr desperate
A little covers quiz:
Of songs covered by the band at gigs in the past ten years, can you name:
1. (Fab) Four by The Beatles?
2. Four by Joy Division?
3. Six by other Manchester-based bands?
4. Four by New York-based bands (not all native New Yorkers)?
5. Two by The Clash?
6. Two by The Ruts?
7. Two by The Undertones?
26 June 2020
hendrix-tattoo
13 for me Doc….
Please,Please me.
Help.
She’s lost control.
In a rut.
Song from under the floorboards.
Tragedy.
Jimmy Jimmy.
My Perfect cousin.
What do I get.
London Calling.
White light white heat.
Babylon’s burning.
Complete control.
26 June 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Shot by both sides
26 June 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I Think We’re Alone Now?
26 June 2020
dr desperate
Your 13 are correct, Tony!
SBBS also, Keith, but not ITWAN – although it was written by a New Yorker, none of its likely source versions fit the categories above.
(I’ve added another song by a New York-based band, making a total of 25 correct answers, so unless somebody can come up with another, it looks like we already have a winner.)
26 June 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Mandy?
26 June 2020
dr desperate
That big-nosed balladeer was another New Yorker, but ‘Mandy’ was covered on a radio programme, not a gig. Sorry.
26 June 2020
transit full of keith
Container Drivers and Tempo House by the Fall
29 June 2020
dr desperate
Tempo House correct; Container Drivers was in 2007.
That leaves one more Manc song, four more NY, three by Joy Division and two by The Beatles since 2010.
(To make things a bit easier, I’ll put up a link to the Spotify playlist that gave me the idea for the quiz.)
4 July 2020
John anderson
A nation well beaten finally condemned aged Scottish defence (8,4).
6 July 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Antonine Wall
8 July 2020
Lord leominster
The HMHB People and Places Friday quiz.
Two lists, one of twelve people and the other of twelve places. Some are mentioned in HMHB lyrics and some are not. All you have to do is to make pairs by matching the people with the places. You need twelve pairs with no duplicates and at least one member of each pair is to be mentioned in the lyrics. With one exception: annoyingly, to get the pairings to work I have had to pair an ‘alluded to, but not actually mentioned’ with a ‘not mentioned’.
PEOPLE
Lionel Blair
Mr. Blair
The Bronte Sisters
Duff Leg Bryn
Gagarin
Her Majesty, marvellous
Milton
Morrissey
Neil Morrissey
The Sex Pistols
Southend United FC
Dave Stewart
PLACES
Balmoral
Bradford
Buckingham Palace
Capel Curig
The Garden of Eden
The Houses of Parliament
Leominster
The Lesser Free Trade Hall
Mars
Montreal
Roots Hall
Space
Nice and easy, I hope. I will give my answers on Monday.
14 August 2020
Lord leominster
Oops. Lists should be unlucky 13 to dinner long. Please add Peter Vaughan and Wem to the bottom of each list. So that’s 13 pairs we’re looking for.
14 August 2020
Lord leominstEr
Because I messed up I’ll help out by saying that Peter Vaughan was Grouty from Porridge.
14 August 2020
Lord leominster
And Wem is a town in Shropshire.
14 August 2020
lord leominster
I’m sorry, but the perfectionist in me (!) requires that I restate the question in full:
The HMHB People and Places Friday quiz.
Two lists, one of 13 people and the other of 13 places. Some are mentioned in HMHB lyrics and some are not. All you have to do is to make pairs by matching the people with the places. You need 13 pairs with no duplicates and at least one member of each pair is to be mentioned in the lyrics. With one exception: annoyingly, to get the pairings to work I have had to pair an ‘alluded to, but not actually mentioned’ with a ‘not mentioned’.
PEOPLE
Lionel Blair
Mr. Blair
The Bronte Sisters
Duff Leg Bryn
Gagarin
Her Majesty, marvellous
Milton
Morrissey
Neil Morrissey
The Sex Pistols
Southend United FC
Dave Stewart
Peter Vaughan
PLACES
Balmoral
Bradford
Buckingham Palace
Capel Curig
The Garden of Eden
The Houses of Parliament
Leominster
The Lesser Free Trade Hall
Mars
Montreal
Roots Hall
Space
Wem
Nice and easy, I hope. I will give my answers on Monday.
14 August 2020
transit full of keith
Ta. I reckon I got eight of these, plus two more on a quick google (with two of the three places attached to one person redistributed among a couple of the others).
Few of those who watched Give Us A Clue back in the day will ever forget the look on Una’s face as Lionel pulled off Twelve Angry Men in under two minutes.
14 August 2020
professor abelazar woozle
Presumably the twelve men were less angry after he pulled them off?
I’ll get my coat….
14 August 2020
EXXO
Sounds like that one’s straight from the ‘Sorry I haven’t a clue’ script-writers, Keith.
Whereas my last gig before lockdown was Karl’s band at the Cock & Pullet, Mrs Exford’s that same weekend in March was the recording of ‘Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ in Huddersfield, where I was surprised the BBC let 1,200 of well-above-average age gather at that juncture in the pandemic. Was that the gig that killed Tim Brooke-Taylor? We’ll never know but it’s astrong possibility…
14 August 2020
dr desperate
It was indeed an ISIHAC gag, from a show in 1999 (when they were still doing the indefensible ‘Lionel Blair is homosexual’ gags, rather than the more recent incontrovertible ‘Lionel Blair is old’ ones).
I saw the team on that tour in January at Hull, where Jack Dee’s introduction mentioned local clockmaker John Harrison, “who died leaving over a thousand clocks, watches and chronometers. It took nearly a year to wind up his estate”.
Out of interest, what colour kazoo did Mrs E bring home?
15 August 2020
Gagarin
I know I’ve got one right. And I’m not really interested in any of the others to be honest.
15 August 2020
Lord leominsteR
People and Places – answers
The list matching exercise included a couple of curve balls so here’s how I got the stars to align – with explanations for some of the less obvious ones.
(qv) means ‘mentioned in the lyrics, (nm) means ‘not mentioned’ and (atbnam) means ‘alluded to, but not actually mentioned’.
Lionel Blair (qv) – born Montreal (nm)
Mr. Blair (qv) – The Houses of Parliament (qv)
The Bronte Sisters (nm) – born In Thornton, a village that now lies within the city of Bradford (qv)
Duff Leg Bryn (qv) – Leominster (qv) – DLB causing havoc again, this time as told in Little In The Way Of Sunshine Gagarin (qv) – Space (qv) – (total respect, Colonel) Her Majesty, marvellous (qv) – Balmoral (nm) Milton (nm) – The Garden Of Eden (qv) – the setting for Milton’s Paradise Lost Morrissey (nm) – The Lesser Free Trade Hall (qv) – Mozzer was an attendee at THAT gig
Neil Morrissey (qv) – Capel Curig (qv)
The Sex Pistols (atbnam) – Buckingham Palace (nm) – The band signed a short lived contract with A&M outside the gates of said royal residence Southend United FC (nm) – Roots Hall (qv)
Dave Stewart (qv) – Mars (Ultras) (qv)
Peter Vaughan (nm) – born Wen (qv)
Transit Full Of Keith came in with an early claim for victory that so far remains unchallenged.
I would like to take this opportunity to record my appreciation for the very important public service provided by this site. An early draft of this quiz included Buzz Aldrin and The Sea Of Tranquility but a judicious checking of the lyrics to Problem Chimp revealed that the lyric is ‘tree of tranquility’ so thank you T HMHB LP for sparing my blushes. I did consider sticking with Buzz (to keep Yuri company) by using Marquee Moon but instead opted to use Dave Stewart and Mars as a late substitution.
16 August 2020
transit full of keith
I had the Sex Pistols at the Lesser Free Trade Hall, and Mozzer at the Palace (with sponge and rusty spanner).
17 August 2020
lord leominster
TFoK – For an awful moment there I thought you were going to say that Mozzer had been to the Palace to accept a knighthood or similar. I can just imagine the conversation: “She said I know you and you cannot sing. I said that’s nothing you should hear me play piano”.
Thanks for taking part. I declare you the winner.
17 August 2020
transit full of keith
This might be a bit niche, but it occurred to me there’s a ready made Friday quiz recently posted on the Lists thread, copied again below:
Things in Biscuit Songs which are also in Fall songs
Leigh-on-Sea
Arthur Askey
Iceland
(William) Blake(y)
Captain Beefheart
Alan Brazil
The Fall
The riff at the end of Every Time A Bell Rings
Jesus
Richard and Judy
The quiz is just to name the (HMHB and Fall) songs.
21 August 2020
EXXO
It’s a necessary quiz, Keith, a quick progress test on an ‘Influences’ module of the Master’s in HMHB, a module which the tutors fight over in staff meetings as to whether it should be compulsory or optional.
If all the niche spheres that define the niche that is “really enjoying and understanding HMHB” were made into an impossibly complex three dimensional Venn diagram, and then projected into space, a mission from earth in the future that set out to explore the heart of the HMHB galaxy would probably be programmed to do many such niche quizzes, as episodes in the adventure on the way to the centre. Knowing all the while that the centre will not be an overlapping area but an empty area surrounded by diverse overlapping bits.
Having said that, I’m always vague on What’s where in the Fall, and this needs research that I’m just not up for this weekend. Exhausted from what feels like weeks of marking total bollocks, and I still have weeks more, and will probably not have time to tackle it before next Friday so please don’t post answers till after the Bank Hol.
E xx 🙂
22 August 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Off on holiday for a week, so that suits me. (Keswick. Not scoping out locations for a roastery, I hasten to add).
22 August 2020
EXXO
Unreasonable rates, one assumes?
22 August 2020
transit full of keith
Answers
Evidently, this quiz was, not, appreciated.
But to clear the decks for someone to post something more crowd pleasing this week, the answers.
Leigh-on-Sea
• Rock & Roll is Full of Bad Wools
• Hey! Student (“Born to live in Leigh-on-Sea”)
Arthur Askey
• Arthur’s Farm
• C&C Hassle Schmuck (“I can’t continue this, Arthur Askey’s just been shot”)
Iceland
• Third Track Main Camera Four Minutes (also in the title title, but not lyrics, of Something’s Rotten in the Back of Iceland)
• Iceland (“And be humbled in Iceland”)
(William) Blake(y)
• Depressed Beyond Tablets
• W.B. (“You’ve heard about mad Blake”)
Captain Beefheart
• Irk The Purists
• Deer Park (“Fat Captain Beefheart imitators with zits”)
Alan Brazil
• Our Tune
• Hot Runes (“Alan Brazil and Hatton, on about ‘discipline for all'”)
The Fall
• Irk The Purists
• Before The Moon Falls (“We work under the name of The Fall”)
(AND also, apparently: Fall Sound, The NWRA, Neighbourhood of Infinity, Nate Will Not Return, Intro, Backdrop, Hexen Definitive/Strife Knot … possibly others)
The riff at the end of Every Time A Bell Rings
• Every Time A Bell Rings
• Eat Y’Self Fitter
Jesus
Points aplenty available here.
• Ecclesiastical Perks / Faithlift / Let’s Not / Man of Constant Sorrow (With a Garage in Constant Use) / Numanoid Hang-Glide / Tonight Matthew I’m Going to Be with Jesus / Upon Westminster Bridge / 99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
• Tempo House / Hey! Luciani / Christmastide / I Wake Up In the City
Richard and Judy
• Mars Ultras, You’ll Never Make The Station
• North West Fashion Show (“We have Richard and Judy’s bastard offspring”) / Surmount All Obstacles (“Das Richard und das Judy”)
2 September 2020
EXXO
It was appreciated here, Keith, and will continue to provide cul-de-sacs and rabbit holes down which to meander and fall. For example I got majorly waylaid by this chap the other day
http://annotatedfall.doomby.com/pages/the-annotated-lyrics/new-puritan.html
Imagine getting that obsessed by a few old lyrics, eh?
2 September 2020
transit full of keith
There’s also this guy (whose corpus of Fall lyrics I got the answers to the quiz from): http://dannyno.org.uk/fall/flickeringlexicon.htm
No can’t imagine that sort of thing, not round this way.
2 September 2020
EXXO
The Friday Quiz – The Road to Wembley – Part One
From Cammell Laird to Chelsea, several dozen Biscuit-referenced place-names will be featured in this season’s FA Cup. Five rounds of this season’s action have already taken place, and this quiz, as well as some subsequent ones, will rely on the fact that most of you do not know the results of the preliminary and qualifying rounds. I know that both Warden Hodges and Mick (Bobby Svarc) follow non-league footy and will know the results, but the rest of you will enjoy this quiz, and a few more to follow over the next few days, if you ignore any of this season’s FA Cup results until at least next Friday. Different rounds of the quiz will have different formats.
Part One – Extra Preliminary Round
Please post answers any time from 9am tomorrow (Saturday), then I’ll post the next round.
For this round, played over August Bank Holiday weekend,14 Biscuit teams entered. Plus I’ve added four more tenuous Biscuit references – Glebe, Fisher, Edgware and Bradford Town (even though it’s another Bradford), so that makes 18.
The HMHB lyrical clues in the 18 questions below should give you the names of the 18 teams that qualified from the following fixtures. Obviously, the questions are not in the same order as the questions.
Racing Club Warwick v AFC Wulfrunians
Knaphill v. Deal Town
AFC Mansfield v. Sherwood Colliery
Leicester Nirvana v. Oadby Town
Hadleigh United v. Mildenhall Town
Diss Town v. Framlingham Town
Gorleston v. Swaffham Town
Ardley United v. Glebe
Whyteleafe v. Edgware Town
Fisher v. Horsham YMCA
Millbrook v. Bridgwater Town
Newton Abbot Spurs v. AFC St Austell
Pinchbeck United v. St Neots Town
Godmanchester Rovers 1–1 v. Ely City
St Helens Town v. Cammell Laird
Tavistock v. Bradford Town
Badshot Lea v. Amesbury Town
Cowes Sports v. Totton & Eling
1. Which town tried to put in top-of-the range performance, but failed?
2. Which ‘yachts’ left their opposition feeling robbed?
3. Which town’s mileage was worth the effort?
4. Who made their travelling supporters drool with anticipation of further glory in the next round?
5. Who chased a lesser team around successfully?
6. Which club failed to build on their lead and could not launch any further attacks, failing to sail-through the shoot-out and going down on this their maiden voyage?
7. Who seemed to be going backwards in a dour match but eventually won the penalty shoot-out?
8. Which town gave a successful and faithful demonstration of the art of centring the ball?
9. Which South London team (named after someone whose head was used for throw-in practice) started their campaign successfully but didn’t go berserk?
10. Who failed to transcend the first round, leaving supporters sighing “never mind, always next year.?
11. Who weighed in with a comfortable win?
12. Who travelled from the south-eastern edge of Salisbury Plain and wished they hadn’t bothered?
13. Who had no trouble overcoming their opposition?
14. Who made their defeated opponents feel they’d rather have played the game away from home?
15. Which travelling rustics were astonished by the margin of their defeat?
16. Which home team devoured their opposition with a monster performance ?
17. Which club hopes to make the cup their very own?
18. Which gothic stronghold’s namesake got goosed and said it wasn’t fayre?
9 October 2020
EXXO
Two typoes there, which I’m sure is the least you’d expect. Not important really but FWIW:
“The questions are not in the same order as the fixtures“. Also, Edgware was included as a straight HMHB place reference of sorts in the 14, and it was Glebe, Fisher, Nirvana and Bradford that were the 4 extras.
9 October 2020
EXXO
Oh, and oops, ignore that 1-1 scoreline from the Theatre of Deism, soz, but anyway it doesn’t help you know which side went through to the next round.
9 October 2020
Lux inferior
Excellent work, Exxo. Perfect way to wind down the working week.
I keep a pretty close eye on the non-league scene in my area (Eastern Counties league), and regularly watch the away team from the match you state as having been played at the Theatre of Deism. In fact, I was at their home win in the very next round. Anyway, I digress. In fixture order, I believe the associated questions to be: 8 – 3 – 17 – 10 – 1 – 16 – 15 – 4 – 7 – 9 – 13 – 11 – 5 – 14 – 6 – 18 – 12 – 2
9 October 2020
Lux inferior
Oops. In my haste to be first with the answers, I’ve submitted disturbingly early. About 18 hours too early.
Apologies if I’ve ruined anyone’s fun.
9 October 2020
EXXo
That’s OK Lux, the way you’ve done it means it’s easy for others to see without absorbing 🙂
Plus you have to say the result, ie whether the team in question went through or not, from my clue. But just noticed that Q. 17 doesn’t tell you this, so that should read “which victorious team …”
The aim is to cover 6 more rounds of the cup over the next 6 or 7 days then we’ll be up-to-date and can cover future rounds at a more leisurely pace.
I’m just doing the next round now, which I’ll put up in the morning with a ‘true or false’ format this time. If the fact about the biscuit-referenced team is true, they went through, and scored the number of goals mentioned in the clue. If it is false, they were knocked out, and didn’t. Butr that’s tomorrow.
What I can say is that being properly Biscuit-referenced gives you a 67% chance of winning a cup tie. *
*data based on extra preliminary and preliminary rounds of FA Cup 2020-21.
9 October 2020
Peter gandy
Just a quick one: who connects songs by Half Man Half Biscuit, the Clash and – by association – John Lennon and Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band?
9 October 2020
EXXO
@Peter – first connection I thought of was MC5 Get Kramer– The Clash’s Jail Guitar Doors and Lennon’s John Sinclair, but I bet I can think of more.
9 October 2020
Peter gandy
Far too quick Exxo. I’ll try and find some more too.
9 October 2020
Peter gandy
@Exxo – “I don’t believe in Beatles”, John Lennon on ‘God’; “No Elvis, Beatles or the Rolling Stones”, The Clash ‘1977’; and by association, “I’m off to see the Bootleg Beatles”, ‘When the Evning Sun Goes Down’. Any others?
10 October 2020
EXXO
@Peter. I came up with the New York connection (NY Skiffle, The Right Profile) even before that BBC4 doc last night which featured Lennon’s New York City numerous times (Some Time in NYC was the album title, credited JL&POB)
Then there’s always an LSD connection – Julie’s been Working for the Drug Squad, Ready Steady Goa, plenty of LSD references in Lennon, though which are with the P.O.B. I can’t be arsed to check, don’t think Bring on the Lucie was credited to P.O.B. – I love that song though).
10 October 2020
EXXO
Well done Lux who wins the E.P. round. As I say each round will have a different format and all questions will rely on guessing and googling about general knowledge, people, places, history, or some Biscuit lyrics, and none will require any knowledge of football.
Extra Preliminary Round Answers
1. Which town tried to put in top-of-the range performance, but failed? Hadleigh, named after the TV series of course, lost 3-4
2. Which ‘yachts’ left their opposition feeling robbed? Cowes (their nicknmame really is ‘the yachts’ ) deservedly won 1-0, and in fact the Millers were gracious in defeat and it is only I who shall tell thousands of lies.
3. Which town’s mileage was worth the effort? Deal, won 4-0 away, which didn’t change the way I feel.
4. Who made their travelling supporters drool with anticipation of further glory in the next round? The ‘cows’ from Glebe ………. no that’s not their real nickname. If only.
5. Who chased a lesser team around successfully? St. Neots, also won 4-0 away at Alessi outfit?
6. Which club failed to build on their lead and could not launch any further attacks, failing to sail-through the shoot-out and going down on this their maiden voyage? Cammell Laird, 1-1 but lost on pens to Karl’s saints.
7. Who seemed to be going backwards in a dour match but eventually won the penalty shoot-out? Edgware, 0-0 but won on pens.
8. Which town gave a successful and faithful demonstration of the art of centring the ball? Warwick (arts centre, Faithfull) won 3-0. All headers from art centres. Probably.
9. Which South London team (named after someone whose head was used for throw-in practice) started their campaign successfully but didn’t go berserk?
3 separate clues from the lyrics that this was Fisher FC, won 2-0 and named of course as are so many Catholic institutions after “Ian” Saint John Fisher, whose head was thrown into the Thames during a kickaround in 1535.
10. Who failed to transcend the first round, leaving supporters sighing “never mind, always next year”? Leicester Nirvana, lost 3-1.
11. Who weighed in with a comfortable win? Newton Abbot Spurs marched in 3-0 winners at home to the Saints (and yes, both sets of supporters do sing “oh when the XXXXs go marching in”)
12. Who travelled from the south-eastern edge of Salisbury Plain and wished they hadn’t bothered? Amesbury lost 4-0.
13. Who had no trouble overcoming their opposition? Bridgwater, 1-0 but no real trouble down in Cornwall.
14. Who made their defeated opponents feel they’d rather have played the game away from home? They’d rather have been in Ely.
15. Which travelling rustics were astonished by the margin of their defeat? Swaffham, 0-5, heaviest defeat of all the Biscuiteers in this round.
16. Which home team devoured their opposition with a monster performance ? Diss, won a monstrous game 1-0.
17. Which club hopes to make the cup their very own? AFC Mansfield’s very own.
18. Which gothic stronghold’s namesake got goosed and said it wasn’t fayre? Bradford Town (from B’ford-upon-Avon) lost 0-2 at Tavistock, home of the Goosey Fayre and probable inspiration for the Totnes title.
10 October 2020
EXXO
Arty centres.
10 October 2020
Peter gandy
Bring on the Lucie is my favourite track on Mind Games although I’d never given any thought that it might have been about lysergic.
10 October 2020
EXXO
The Road to Wembley – Part Two – Preliminary Round
This time, discerning whether the statement about the place is true or false will tell you whether the Biscuit-referenced team qualified for the next round (they did if it’s true), and if true, a number in the statement will also tell you how many they scored. Answers on Monday morning please.
Q. 1 Leek Town v. Sporting Khalsa At the time of the lyric about Leek, two decades ago, “beak” – from its meaning “nose” – was the most common slang word on Merseyside for what made Colombia famous, but has since been supplanted by another term. True or false?
Q2. RC Warwick v. Bedworth United To this day, when I hear the word “Warwick” the first thing I think of is “Kingmaker.” This is due primarily to the cover of a Ladybird book in my local library which was the first work of non-fiction I ever read, and secondarily to the second greatest board game of the 1970’s.
Anyway: Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick, dominated the Wars of the Roses and his support “made” four kings of England. True or false?
Q.3 OJM Black Country v. Matlock Town
One of Matlock’s most famous tourist attractions was named by the Victorians after a famous British colonial victory. T/F?
Q4. Cleethorpes Town v. AFC Mansfield
One of Mansfield’s very own favourite sons is of course Shane Fenton. As well as Richard fucking Bacon. T/F?
Q5. Runcorn Linnets v. Albion Sports
I would have liked to ask “two other teams in this year’s FA Cup are nicknamed the Linnets – T/F?” … but I promised you no questions about football, so instead I’ll say “the linnet is one of the most likely finches to have been caged in a yard in Thomas Hardy novels. T/F?”
Q6. Ely City v. Eynesbury Rovers
The victors’ city, the second smallest city in this stage of the FA Cup, is named after a fish species that can grow over 3 feet long.
Q7. Stamford v. Diss Town
There have been 5 Hollywood films about Godzilla (though none set in Diss) T/F?
Q.8 Soham Town Rangers v. St Neots Town
St. Neots is named after 2 saints from the same town. T/F
Q9. Fairford Town v Edgware Town
Many people know the world famous Peel Centre to be a music venue in Stowmarket, but there are 2 Peel centres, the other being a police college in Edgware, within the borough of Hendon, at the end of the Edgware Road. T/F?
Q.10 Deal Town
Deal was one of 4 different limbs of Sandwich. T/F?
Q.11 Tooting & Mitcham United v. Fisher Climie Fisher’s Love Changes Everything got to number 2 in the UK.
Q.12 Farnborough v. Lymington Town Fewer than 50 people have ever died at the Farnborough air show. T/F?
Q.13 Cowes v. Hamble Club
JMW Turner, famous painter of scenes at Cowes, once went rowing to avoid being counted in the census. T/F?
Q. 14 Newton Abbot Spurs v. Larkhall Athletic
Newton Abbot is almost equidistant from 3 other Biscuit towns: Torquay, Totnes and Dawlish, but Dawlish is marginally the nearest. T/F?
Q. 15 Bridgwater Town v. Bitton
Bridgwater’s most illustrious son has been universally acclaimed as Britain’s greatest ever admiral. T/F.
10 October 2020
Lux inferior
This is the best I can do without neglecting work entirely in favour of several hours more research. If nothing else, I know for certain I’ve got question 6 correct, as I was there, along with question 8, as one of the teams in that tie is very local to me.
2. False
4. True (1)
6. True (3)
7. False
8. False
9. False
11. True (2)
12. True (0)
13. True (1)
14. False
15. False
I’m guessing most, if not all the others are true, but I can’t pin down conclusive proof in the time available to me.
12 October 2020
Lux inferior
Just unearthed proof that Q. 3 is True (1 goal scored).
By the way, in Q.10, you didn’t list the opposition team (not that I can work it out either way).
12 October 2020
EXXO
Preliminary Round Results
Another stellar performance from our Eastern counties correspondent. Obviously not as many Biscuiteers currently suffering unemployment as I had feared, but I’m glad to have dented productivity somewhat in the Soham area and Lux wins another round. Apologies to Sittingbourne for their omission, and commiserations after they were dealt deadly dealings in Deal.
Q. 1 Leek Town v. Sporting Khalsa At the time of the lyric about Leek, two decades ago, “beak” – from its meaning “nose” – was the most common slang word on Merseyside for what made Colombia famous, but has since been supplanted by another term. True or false? TRUE, LEEK WON 2-1, cocaine now most commonly called ‘lemmo’ after lemon sherbet dip.
Q2. RC Warwick v. Bedworth United To this day, when I hear the word “Warwick” the first thing I think of is “Kingmaker.” This is due primarily to the cover of a Ladybird book in my local library which was the first work of non-fiction I ever read, and secondarily to the second greatest board game of the 1970’s. Anyway: Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick, dominated the Wars of the Roses and his support “made” four kings of England. True or false? FALSE, WARWICK LOST on pens – he only definitively “made” two kings.
Q.3 OJM Black Country v. Matlock Town
One of Matlock’s most famous tourist attractions was named by the Victorians after a famous British colonial victory. T/F? TRUE, MATLOCK WON 1-0, Heights of Abraham at Matlock named after Wolfe’s daring victory a century earlier at Quebec City, which in effect conquered the whole of Canada off the French.
Q4. Cleethorpes Town v. AFC Mansfield
One of Mansfield’s very own favourite sons is of course Shane Fenton. As well as Richard fucking Bacon. T/F? TRUE, MANSFIELD WON 1-0
Q5. Runcorn Linnets v. Albion Sports
I would have liked to ask “two other teams in this year’s FA Cup are nicknamed the Linnets – T/F?” … but I promised you no questions about football, so instead I’ll say “the linnet is one of the most likely finches to have been caged in a yard in Thomas Hardy novels. T/F?” TRUE, LINNETS WON 2-0
Q6. Ely City v. Eynesbury Rovers
The victors’ city, the second smallest city in this stage of the FA Cup, is named after a fish species that can grow over 3 feet long. TRUE, ELY WON3-1.
Q7. Stamford v. Diss Town
There have been 5 Hollywood films about Godzilla (though none set in Diss) T/F? FALSE, DISS DISMISSED 4-0, only 4 Hollywood films after 30-odd Japanese efforts.
Q.8 Soham Town Rangers v. St Neots Town
St. Neots is named after 2 saints from the same town. T/F
FALSE, ST. NEOTS LOST 3-2, St Neot was Cornish & never went there.
Q9. Fairford Town v Edgware Town
Many people know the world famous Peel Centre to be a music venue in Stowmarket, but there are 2 Peel centres, the other being a police college in Edgware, within the borough of Hendon, at the end of the Edgware Road. T/F?
FALSE, EDGWARE LOST on pens and although Edgware is, or was, administratively in the borough of Hendon it isn’t where the police college is.
Q.10 Deal Town v. Sittingbourne
Deal was one of 4 different limbs of Sandwich. T/F? TRUE, DEAL WON4-1 and when the of Cinque port of Sandwich silted up, the vital strategic anchorage at Deal was in 1278 made one of its three other ‘limbs’. They didn’t want to say there were in fact about 12 or 13 of the ancient ‘cinque’ ports.
Q.11 Tooting & Mitcham United v. Fisher Climie Fisher’s Love Changes Everything got to number 2 in the UK. TRUE, FISHER WON on pens after a 2-2 draw.
Q.12 Farnborough v. Lymington Town Fewer than 50 people have ever died at the Farnborough air show. T/F? TRUE, FARNBOROUGH WON with fewer than fifty goals.
Q.13 Cowes v. Hamble Club
JMW Turner, famous painter of scenes at Cowes, once went rowing to avoid being counted in the census. T/F? TRUE, COWES WON 1-0
Q. 14 Newton Abbot Spurs v. Larkhall Athletic
Newton Abbot is almost equidistant from 3 other Biscuit towns: Torquay, Totnes and Dawlish, but Dawlish is marginally the nearest. T/F? FALSE, NEWTON ABBOT LOST Torquay is half a mile closer.
Q. 15 Bridgwater Town v. Bitton
Bridgwater’s most illustrious son has been universally acclaimed as Britain’s greatest ever admiral. T/F. FALSE, BRIDGWATER LOST
Robert Blake of Bridgwater is undoubtedly Britain’s greatest ever naval strategist and is the true father of three centuries of British naval supremacy, but this is rarely fully acknowledged because he was a roundhead.
12 October 2020
EXXO
First Qualifying Round
Taking place about 3 weeks ago, 5 more Biscuit-referenced clubs from Level 7 of semi-pro football joined the 10 who advanced from the previous preliminary round. For this round, I will give clues (most of them vaguely Biscuity) for which 9 of the 15 teams did NOT advance. You will then be able to work out which 6 of them did.
Those who crashed out were: a club which might have been disappointed with the aggregate score, a town without specialist tastes in literature, a town where the match officials probably felt at home, a town with dodgy dealers, a plain old city, two anchorages and two places where I’d rather be.
So can you work out which 6 survived? Answers Tuesday morning.
Quorn v. Matlock Town
Leek Town v. Mickleover
Tividale v. Nantwich Town
AFC Mansfield v. Gainsborough Trinity
Ely City v. Biggleswade
Brantham Athletic v. St Ives Town
Chipstead v. Deal Town
Chalfont St Peter v. Farnborough
Cowes Sports v. Weston-super-Mare
Taunton Town v. Wantage Town
Yate Town v. Bristol Manor Farm
Swindon Supermarine v. Shepton Mallet
Cray Wanderers v. Fisher
Kidlington v. Salisbury
West Auckland Town v. Runcorn Linnets*
*No I don’t know why I bothered including them really.
12 October 2020
Lux inferior
Hey, I would love to have a go at that…but I’ll let someone else have a nibble first.
I thought starting your list with the Quorn tie was a little tasteless.
12 October 2020
Lux inferior
Since no-one else has taken up the challenge, the First Qualifying Round answers are as follows:
Your six qualifiers were Matlock, Nantwich, Mansfield, Farnborough, Swindon Supermarine & Runcorn Linnets.
There’s always next year for:
Fisher (disappointed with the aggregate score)
Wantage (without specialist tastes in literature)
Yate (where the match officials felt at home)
Leek (town with dodgy dealers)
Salisbury (plain old city)
Deal & Cowes (anchorages)
Ely & St Ives (places I’d rather be)
13 October 2020
EXXO
Great Stuff from the Maestro once again. Can anyone take a set off him as he marches through the tournament?
The Road to Wembley – Second Qualifying Round
Bradford PA v. Spennymoor Town
Warrington Rylands v. York City
Boston United v. AFC Mansfield
Nantwich Town v. Barwell
Grantham Town v. Matlock Town
Worksop Town v. Chester
Farnborough v. Tonbridge Angels
Weston-super-Mare v. Swindon Supermarine
Gosport Borough v. Hereford
Bath City v. Winchester City
Runcorn Linnets v. Marine
So the names got bigger and the crowds swelled to about as big as it looks like they’ll get in this season’s competition, as 5 big city names join the 6 Biscuit-referenced clubs that qualified. This time you find the 6 answers – the 6 out of 11 bold-type Biscuiteer teams that qualified – by finding a synonym in each of 6 clues that rhymes in a HMHB song with a place, and following the route from that place. No?
So if for example one answer was ‘Southend United’ (which it isn’t) the clue might be “about 38 miles SSE (or at seven o’ clock) from your parabolas.” Your parabolas = your curves (Swerving the Checkatrade) = Ipswich Town reserves – go 38 miles SSE, you’re at Southend United.
Or if one answer was ‘Mansfield Town’ (which it isn’t) the clue might be “12 miles north of sailing boats.” Sailing boats = yachts (Tonight, Matthew) = Rock City Notts – go 12 miles north you’re in Mansfield.
The six clues are:
– About 28 miles east-south-east of elevatedly.
– 13 miles east of asked for on behalf of.
– 14 miles at ten o clock from the troubled spirit control
– A mile north of a famous suicide during the cold winter of Nigel’s gestation.
– Three and a half miles south west of the second person.
– About 32 miles north of Ms Granger, then a few miles east.
13 October 2020
EXXO
Incidentally, 4 of the rhyming reference points are in the same counties as the answers, but one isn’t quite in the same country.
Since probably only Lux is going to answer anyway, and since the next thrilling round of the FA cup kicks off this evening, I’ll make the deadline 6.30 pm tonight. then we will have caught up. I will publish questions for tonight’s 3rd Qualifying Round which will not be based on the results (but which will probably, as an aside, contain some predictions) … so that from then, you will be relieved to hear that the Friday quiz can revert to being a Friday thing, with an FA cup twist only about every 3 or 4 weeks until next May.
13 October 2020
EXXO
Aaargh too quick, soz, the first on should be “about 28 miles West-south-west (WSW) of elevatedly.” Otherwise you’re playing on a rather waterlogged pitch with the real cod army. I’ve double-checked the others.
13 October 2020
Lux inferior
Your quiz is not receiving anywhere near the kudos or attention it deserves, Exxo.
Would you consider an extension to the 6.30pm deadline for the latest round? It looks particularly taxing – if rushed, I might undo all the good work of previous rounds and out myself as a bit of a knobhead.
13 October 2020
EXXO
OK Lux, I was rushing perhaps unnecessarily to ‘catch up’ before tonight’s cup matches, so that I could post an even more self-indulgent fifth round. Yes, post the answers whenever you’re ready, showing your workings of course. Perhaps now Dr. D is around he will try to beat you to it (although he will probably find one or two of my synonyms inelegant if not downright sloppy).
13 October 2020
IDIOT SAUL
So that Lux doesn’t get another bye through to the next round, I’ll try:
– About 28 miles east-south-east of elevatedly = highly – Filey (Broadstairs) = York City
– 13 miles east of asked for on behalf of = requested “My Oh My” – Hay-on-Wye (Nove) = Hereford
– 14 miles at ten o clock from the troubled spirit control = angst switch – Nantwich (Look Dad) = Chester
– A mile north of a famous suicide during the cold winter of Nigel’s gestation = Sylvia Plath – Matlock Bath (Light at the End of the Tunnel) = Matlock Town
– Three and a half miles south west of the second person = you – Crewe (Hornbeam) = Nantwich Town
– About 32 miles north of Ms Granger, then a few miles east = Hermione – Poundbury (Tommy Walsh) = Bath City (though not convinced about Smiley Miley’s mileage chart on this one).
13 October 2020
EXXO
Perfect. Smiley admitted, while being savagely punished for his error, that he took the mileage in miles then thought it was km, as he’d done all the others as-the-crow-flies in kms, so divided the 51.5 miles to get 32.
13 October 2020
Lux inferior
Great work, Saul. I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders now that my unbeaten run is over.
I had planned to take in the Third Qualifying Round fixture between Cambridge City (the real Lilywhites) & Halesowen Town this evening, but a stinking cold and lack of associated Biscuit references changed my mind.
13 October 2020
lord leominster
Thanks for the quiz, Exxo. I’m sorry not to have taken part, especially as you have gone to the trouble of setting non-football related questions to a football quiz. I may come back to it later (but if I do I will keep my findings to myself this time).
14 October 2020
EXXO
The Road to Wembley – Part 5
So where was I before I lost my momentum?
Just 6 Biscuit-referenced cities and towns went into the 3rd Qualifying Round last week, up against it as five were drawn away:
Stafford Rangers v. Hereford
Chester v. Spennymoor Town
Marine v. Nantwich Town
Chorley v. York City
Guiseley v. Matlock Town
Slough Town v. Bath City
Only two survived. Identify them by either (a) The Tough English Civil War Quiz or (b) The Easier Fish Picture Quiz. Or (c) cheat and google the results from last week.
A. The Tough English Civil War Quiz
The Biscuit clubs (I may start calling them club biscuits after another round of two of this) that survived are based in:
1. a royalist stronghold that was starved into surrender after its second winter of siege, and
2. a parliamentary town that gave up without a fight after its garrison wisely withdrew.
The Biscuits clubs that fell in this round are based in:
3. a royalist stronghold that surrendered after a catastrophic battle seven miles away.
4. a mainly royalist walled city that was taken by the parliamentarians three times – once without a fight, once with a proper fight, and finally by sneaky subterfuge involving bogus officials.
5. a heroic parliamentary town which still celebrates its vital victory over the cavaliers with an annual festival.
6. a village to which you only have to add two letters to get one of the most vital weapons of the civil war.
The easier Fish-based quiz option
The two Biscuit clubs that survived have the same first two letters as these two species of fish:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/af-m1J8lTeBX9bX87TnzPzhxq05VIbA30FXC7fxf5zqRUXUiUBEwnL_lbD5gu4t2_bjNl9Q=s166
So tell me which two clubs survived to fight another day (tomorrow). Answers ASAP please, and then we’ll do another one for tomorrow’s final qualifying round which sees our two valiant survivors joined by Aldershot, Torquay, Boreham Wood … but not Notts, who have become the 16th team knocked out of the FA Cup by Covid-19.
23 October 2020
dr desperate
I think I’ve got the fish – would their opponents also have aquatic connections?
23 October 2020
EXXO
If you think you’ve got the answers by either route, please just fire away ASAP. But no, I don’t immediately see anything fishy about the opponents.
To clarify – the first two letters of each of two fish species are the same respectively as the first two letters of the two victorious legions.
23 October 2020
EXXO
Ah, I see the aquatic thing now, very clearly in one case, yes, and maybe in the other opponents too.
23 October 2020
dr desperate
In that case, chubb (Chester v Marine) and barbel (Bath v Havant & Waterlooville).
Marine, Water.
23 October 2020
EXXO
I confused meself there no if you think the opponents are aquatic then you’re probably fishing up the wrong creek.
23 October 2020
EXXO
Sorry our posts crossed there, and I just got confused by you looking at tomorrow’s opponents for Chester (Marine) not last week’s, so yes, the victorious legions were the XX of Deva Victrix (Chester, two long winters of siege) and those on R&R at Aquae Sulis (Bath City, in the 1640’s very much a parliamentary town but indefensible ).
23 October 2020
professor abelazar woozle
For the clubs that didn’t make it through –
3 – York, threw in the towel to General Fairfax after his victory over Prince Rupert at Marston Moor.
4 – Hereford, I reckon – having lived there for a year, I suspect the local defenders were far too fond of scrumpy for any sort of fighting beyond a brawl (scones optional)
5 – Nantwich – spent the first two years of war on the back foot but got their own back post-Marston Moor.
6 – Matlock – add a “ch” and go out with a bang!
25 October 2020
EXXO
Bravo Professor!
The Road to Wembley Part Six – The 4th & Final Qualifying Round
Sorry about the delay on this round. That’s ‘cos I decided to make it unnecessarily complex (again), unfeasibly obscure (again) and to host you pesky kids at my old abandoned mine, ski resort and blog, all rolled into one.
https://wordpress.com/post/theuffingtonpost.wordpress.com/494
The five ties were:
Bath City v Havant & Waterlooville.
Chester v. Marine
Boreham Wood v. Wimborne
Aldershot v. Woking
Sholing v. Torquay United
The various HMHB songs mentioning, or vaguely somehow indireclty involving, the personages in the pics are not the same as the 5 songs mentioning the 5 places, and the connections between the personages and the places are not mentioned in the songs, but the personages are definitely connected to the places.
The instructions are there on the link. Because it’s a toughie, I’ll take any of the five individual answers one by one as you find them, but let’s say don’t post any until say Wednesday morning, to give a couple more people a chance, maybe, if anyone can be arsed.
26 October 2020
dr desperate
Even more unfeasibly obscure for me; I can’t see anything on TUP more recent than May.
27 October 2020
EXXO
It seemed to be published on that link and had a few views, but I have now moved it to the top of the main blog page if that helps.
Looking back, I overstated the obscurity and toughness of this one, perhaps due to some technical difficulties I was having. I think my little hinty questions, which I added just to fill some empty space, make it fairly obvious what I’m driving at in most cases. You can post any number of answers any time tomorrow.
27 October 2020
dr desperate
Okay, found it now, and got all but one of the pictures. The links, I think, are:
1. Aldershot (‘Vagaries’)
(a) Robson Green (‘Sunshine’) in ‘Soldier, Soldier’; set in Aldershot.
(b) Mickie Most (‘Turned Up); born in Aldershot.
2. Boreham Wood (‘Gwatkin’)
(a) Noel Edmonds (‘Visitor’); host of ‘Are You Smarter Than A 10-Year-Old?’, and
(b) Pointless ‘200 Club’ (‘Knobheads’);
both filmed at Elstree, Borehamwood.
3. Bath (‘Nerys Hughes’)
(a) Carla Lane (‘Let’s Not’) wrote, and
(b) Felicity Kendal, mistress of the husband of Miriam Stoppard (‘Architecture’), starred in
(c) ‘Mistress’; set in Bath.
4. Chester (‘Doreen’)
(a) Alquin (fooling around in ‘Doreen’)
(b) ? some link with Spencer the Halfwit (‘Stiperstones’). It doesn’t look like Michael Crawford (or Chester Barnes).
5. Torquay (‘Yahoo Chess’)
(a) Thoth (Aleister Crowley (‘Get Kramer’); was born in Torquay)
(b) Westward Ho! (‘Westward Ho!’; Charles Kingsley visited Torquay)
(c) Brushwood (‘Wrong Grave’; Rudyard Kipling lived near Torquay, and complained about its clipped hedges)
(d) Origin of Species (‘Teenage Bride’; Charles Darwin lived in Torquay).
28 October 2020
EXXO
Chapeau Docteur – an outstanding performance, Doc, just outstanding, reminding me that I did indeed mean to include a photo of Miriam Stoppard with the ‘Mistress’ stuff, but forgot, so triple bonus points for that one.
I am only slightly tempted to leave the remaining unidentified photo in the ‘Chester’ collage open to further investigation – the character is unlikely to be identified by anyone as I don’t think anyone of this parish has ever suggested him as a possible source for ‘Spencer the Halfwit.’ Doubt it’s a programme that Mr. B ever watched actively, but possibly the kind of thing that another member of the family might have exposed him to? The character existed on a popular TV programme from 2008 to 2010, making it perfect timing for him to have weedled his way into the lyric somehow.
28 October 2020
EXXO
Couple of other footnotes to the quiz:
* Now that Bath City are finally out, I can reveal that all my questions about them relied equally upon their presence in ‘Blue Badge Abuser’ as much as in ‘Nerys Hughes.’ I still think “a walk in Bath” makes more sense in BBA than “a walk-in bath,” because you’d surely have a walk-in bath delivered, and could choose one at an out-of-town venue with ample car parks , whereas Bath is nice for a walk but a bugger for legal parking.
*Of the books pictured, Crowley’s and Darwin’s were at least partly written or revised in Torquay. Kipling’s (as you mention an indirect reference with the ‘brushwood’ of ‘Wrong Grave’) was re-published for the UK, after its initial US publication, while he was living in Torquay. Kingsley was a Devon literary superstar who was invited to promote venues all over the county, but above all of course the resort that was actually named after his book.
28 October 2020
dr desperate
Kipling lived at Rock House in Maidencombe, to the north of Torquay, from 1896-98. He and his wife enjoyed exploring on the tandem they had brought back from America, until one day they fell off and vowed never to ride again.
He wasn’t impressed by the clipped hedges of the local villas, saying “Torquay is such a place as I do desire to upset it by dancing through it with nothing on but my spectacles”.
28 October 2020
dr desperate
I’ve always tended to favour “walk-in bath”, mainly because some councils provide Disabled Facilities Grants for them (except in Scotland).
However, this may throw the whole Blue Badge debate into turmoil.
http://bath.co.uk/bath-tours/blue-badge-guides
28 October 2020
dr desperate
Oh great, now I’m getting adverts for walk-in baths on Facebook.
28 October 2020
Cream CHEESE AND chives
That’s nothing. Due for a hip replacement any day and the walk in bath is about the only thing I haven’t had delivered in a heap of aids that arrived this afternoon. The hall looks like the back of an Age UK shop. Not sure I can stay onside after all.
28 October 2020
EXXO
The Road to Wembley Part 7 – FA Cup 1st Round Proper
For once we are ahead of the game, for a round which takes place not this weekend but the one after. This round is based on the draw, which took place on Monday and rapidly became a demonstration of the wide disparity between the cognitive abilities of Mark Chapman and Lynsey Hipgrave, as if the public were in any doubt about that already.
The introduction to this Friday Quiz thread tells us that it was “an idea which became an institution,” and I hope the same will apply to this round, as it is a game you can play at home every time that Chappers (but hopefully not Hippers) host a cup draw, for the earlier rounds of future FA cups anyway.
The Biscuit-references fixtures are:
Sunderland v Mansfield Town
Bolton Wanderers v Crewe Alexandra (I’d use Junction 17, in fact)
Tonbridge Angels v Bradford City
Swindon Town v Darlington
Tranmere Rovers v Accy Stanley
Torquay United v Crawley Town
Eastbourne Borough v Blackpool
Bobby Charlton Athletic v Plymouth Argyle
Boreham Wood v Southend United (journey measured from Roots Hall)
Ipswich Town v Portsmouth
Lincoln City v Forest Green Rovers
Mileage Chart
So this round is based on something we have played many for years here at Hughes Lane, with various variations. For example, after the ex-player draws out each home team, you can guess a number of miles, your opponent says ‘higher’ or ‘lower’, and you await the second ball. After the away team name is announced, your opponent estimates a more informed number of miles and you say ‘higher’ or ‘lower’. The turn-taking is switched after each tie. You scribble it all down, and by using AA Route-planner you can allocate points afterwards in whatever way you see fit.
We shall simplify this format for today’s purposes.
So please look at the draw for the 11 ties and put them in order of mileage from 1 the shortest to 11 the longest. Easy? Well, I have had practice in this, so I got them correct except 1 & 3 the wrong way around, which are quite close, 5 & 6 the wrong way around (with about 10 miles difference) and 8 & 9 the wrong way round (with about 10 miles difference). Plus there may be people here who haven’t ever come near Stroud (so don’t know where Forest Green FC’s Vegantricity Stadium is), or aren’t quite sure which part of Surrey the Comsat Angels inhabit.
So instead, I’ll help you with a bit of a group format. …
Let’s call the shortest journey, the 2nd shortest and the 3rd shortest “Group I” – all around a one-hour journey (if no traffic).
The 4th, 5th and 6th shortest are in “Group II” – all around 150 miles
The 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th shortest journeys are “Group III”, all 200-250 miles approx. The 9th and 10th are only about 3 miles different.
The longest journey – on its own in “Group IV” – is over 300 miles, and is about 60 miles longer than the second longest, but nearly all on motorway.
You get 10 points for each journey placed in the correct Group.
You then get another 5 points for each fixture in the correct position within the group (this means you automatically get a total of 15 points if you choose the right journey as the longest one as that ‘Group’ is only one match), and 2 points for any fixture which is only one place out.
As a challenge, can anyone beat me without looking at your mileage charts? I would have got all the ties in the right ‘groups’ for 110 points, but would have accrued only 33 of the possible 55 bonus points, with 5 in the correct place and 4 one place out. But as I say I’ve had plenty of prior practice!
The distances from stadium to stadium have been used, and this may well make a difference to the order compared to measuring to/from town centres). AA Routeplanner rules, as I’ve been using it about 20 years and I don’t drive so I don’t care.
However, you don’t even really need me to ref this one, and can just do it yourself then check it yourself. And announce your points total any time – the only rule is don’t put the answers out at all, as there’s no need for that whatsoever. Those who want to can do it and check their answers any time right up to the end of the world, so hopefully somebody will beat my seven score and three points by then. Great drama and no pressure on me.
30 October 2020
EXXO
And, talking of hip graves, I forgot to say all the best to Cheesy with the op… You’ll soon be back flying down the wing like Stevie Heighway*. Wonderful drugs they give you these days (according to what one hears).
* perhaps not quite as nippy as he used to be but who is, eh?
30 October 2020
dr desperate
No comment on the mileages, but I do like CtSO’s description of this thread, reminiscent of my favourite ever Humphrey Lyttelton introduction to ISIHAC: “the show that has become an institution”.
(Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman in 1957 described five types of institution, the first of which was “to care for people felt to be both harmless and incapable”. One would hope that this institution is a Type 4, “established to pursue worklike tasks and justifying itself only on these instrumental grounds”. )
30 October 2020
EXXO
For “Wear your Old Band T-shirt to Work Day” 2020, here’s another quiz where you can guess the answers, then check it for yourself (this time on Bobby Svarc’s lovely Probe site rather than AA route planner), except for about 3 questions that can’t be discerned by just looking. Tell us how many you got, but don’t give any answers till Monday afternoon. Buy a gorgeous sexy HMHB t-shirt in the amazing crash sale while you’re there.
1. What’s the number of the motorway junction/exit on the Motorway t-shirt?
(a) 2
(b) 4
(c) 6
(d) 8
(e) 3
(f) 5
(g) 7
(h) 9
2. The giant creature on the 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt has what on its head?
(a) horns? (b) a Mohican? (c) spikes (d) a helmet?
3. The 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt creature is holding what in his right hand?
(a) a car? (b) a plane? (c) a train? (d) a royal wedding coach and horses?
4. The only decapitated person on the 1988 Trumpton riots t-shirt appears to have been decapitated most probably by?
(a) an axe? (b) the monster’s teeth? (c) a falling roof slate? (d) the glass of his broken window?
5. Which of the following is NOT true about the 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt?
(a) the town hall door has been smashed
( b) the windmill is on fire
(c) the ancient town cross has been stomped on
(d) the bloke whose roof has been ripped off – looks like Robson Green out of that Munch painting – is still in bed
(e)the pilot of the plane looks like he will be safe
6. How many audience members’ bonces are depicted on the Look Dad t-shirt?
(a) 13 (b)23 (c) 33 (d) 53
7. Which member of the band on the Look Dad t-shirt is facing toward his amp?
(a) Guitarist (b) bassist (c) Keyboards
8. On the Look Dad set-list, the first letters of the first three ‘tracks’ spell:
(a) ABH (b) GBH (c)NOT
9. On the ‘And Some Fell on Stony Ground’ t-shirt/sleeve, what is/are pulling the plough on the horizon?
(a) horse (b) human (c) ox (d) two horses (e) two oxen (f) two humans
(g) Crunchy the donkey
10. In which shop did Van Gogh probably get the inspiration for the original painting which inspired Steve Hardstaff’s amazing cover version, and probably his seeds as well for that matter?
11. How many figures representing humans are shown on the ‘Satisfying the Bloodlust of the masses in peacetime’ t-shirt?
(a)1 (b)2 (c) 3 (d)4
12. The ‘Voyage’ t-shirt (the one with a logo rather than the whole front CD cover) shows the Stretch Armstrong boot inside a multi-coloured circle. Which of the following colours is NOT one of the main colours of that circle?
(a)yellow (b)pink (c)green
13. How did one of the key ingredients of the ‘Voyage’ t-shirt (and album cover) lead to a multi-million dollar beer war last year?
14. The ‘avoiding proper work since 1985’ t-shirt features the image from the cover of which EP?
(a) Eno Collaboration
(b)Editor’s Recommendation?
(c)Saucy Haulage Ballads
15. Most of the figures on the ‘Four Lads’ cover/t-shirt have their feet in property that currently belongs to
(a)Birkenhead Corporation (b) Cammell Laird (c) Bridgwater Holdings (d) Peel Holdings (e)Bono
16. Nearly all the HMHB t-shirts on the wonderful Probe Plus website are currently at
(a) about 10% off
(b) about 20% off
(c) a monster, monster 32.142857142857% off!!
17. When you see low stock numbers on that website it usually means
(a) they in fact have loads. Send them your £9 anyway.
20 November 2020
EXXO
Anyone have a go (if they thought it was hard enough) ?
23 November 2020
dr desperate
I have to admit I don’t own any store-bought tee shirts (except for a ‘Straight Outta Trumpton’ given as a present), so my knowledge of their arcana is slightly nil. Having checked my answers I estimate my score as 6/17 (assuming Q13 is oligosaccharide-related), marginally better than could have been achieved by random guessing.
Apropos of nothing, I did notice that the Van Gogh painting featured in a recent University Challenge picture round.
24 November 2020
EXXO
Well played doc. Respectable score, given that it was only ever intended as a guesstimation game, perhaps with a tinge of visual memory from bumping into beery blokes on gig nights or perusing Geoff’s boutique. I like guesstimation games, me, but obviously more so than the rest of yous.
Anyone beat 6?
24 November 2020
lord leominster
ISIHAC
24 November 2020
tooga toon
Hey lads, it’ll be hard to decide, should you still want a knitted DPAK for Christmas, or perhaps a neon sanderling, wait, is it…?
What else did you get for Christmas besides your whistle?
24 November 2020
Exxo
Piss off with yer jarg armanis. Official merchandise only here you absolute twat taking advantage at a time when musicians are on their uppers.
24 November 2020
Stringy Bob
I may have been locked up for public nuisance offences, but I know the difference between a sanderling and four flamingoes on a zebra crossing.
24 November 2020
EXXO
I think it was the “hey lads” that pissed me off there even more than the bloody exploitation. If that twat had a stall at the temple I’d be trashing it.
24 November 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Chill Exxo, matters are in hand.
25 November 2020
EXXO
Nice one Mick. Made my blood seethe that. Wonderful official merchandise at £9.50 for Xmas includes:
1. The Motorway t-shirt
(f) junction 5
2. The 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt
(c) spikes
3. The 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt
(c) a train
4. The only decapitated person on the 1988 Trumpton riots t-shirt appears to have been decapitated most probably by (c) a falling roof slate
5. The following is NOT true about the 1988 Trumpton Riots t-shirt:
(a) the town hall door has been smashed
6. The Look Dad No tunes t-shirt with an attendance of
(b)23
7. The Look Dad t-shirt with the
(a) Guitarist facing his amp
8. On the Look Dad t-shirt set-list, the first letters of the first three ‘tracks’ spell:
(b) GBH
9. On the ‘And Some Fell on Stony Ground’ t-shirt
(e) two oxen are pulling the plough on the horizon
10. In which shop did Van Gogh probably get the inspiration for the original painting which inspired Steve Hardstaff’s amazing cover version, and probably his seeds as well for that matter?
MILLETS (Van Gogh’s painting was “after Millet” the artist … and he could be sowing millet!
11. on the ‘Satisfying the Bloodlust of the masses in peacetime’ t-shirt there are
(c) 3 human figures
12. The ‘Voyage’ t-shirt (the one with a logo rather than the whole front CD cover) shows the Stretch Armstrong boot inside a multi-coloured circle with no
(a)yellow
13. How did one of the key ingredients of the ‘Voyage’ t-shirt (and album cover) lead to a multi-million dollar beer war last year?
It’s CORN SYRUP inside Stretch Armstrong that makes him stretch. It also allegedly makes crap American so-called beer ferment, and according to other crap American so-called brewers they could use this fact in multi-million dollar advertising campaigns slagging off their rivals and leading to multi-million dollar law suits.
14. The ‘avoiding proper work since 1985’ t-shirt features the image from the inlay of
(b)Editor’s Recommendation
15. Most of the figures on the ‘Four Lads’ cover/t-shirt have their feet in property that currently belongs to
(d) Peel Holdings, 75% owned by John*, who own Cammell Laird too so I’ll give you (b) as well, as the number 3 Graving Dock where the 4 lads have their feet is used by that company for repairs, hull cleaning etc.
*John Whittaker
16. Nearly all the HMHB t-shirts on the wonderful Probe Plus website are currently at
(c) a monster, monster 32.142857142857% off!!
17. When you see low stock numbers on that website it usually means
(a) they in fact have loads. Send them your £9.50 anyway.
Dr. D wins the quiz and of course it’s lovely to make your own HMHB regalia as long as you don’t try to profit from it.
25 November 2020
BOBBY SVARC
We had a bloke selling on E-Bay identical T-Shirts of Achtung Bono and 4 Lads last month. His lame excuse was that these T’s were his way of paying homage to the band
25 November 2020
parsfan
Looking through the answers I think I got 100%.
Well, 100% of the one I answered – not untypically I read through the questions but never quite got round to attempting it properly. My one answer being for Editor’s Recommendation which, coincidentally, I think we both bought the day I first met you (I know I did).
To make question 17 multiple choice, and have a correct option, you could have said “b) they’re all smalls”. I attempted your answer a couple of years ago in a bid to refresh my “avoiding work” one, but sadly they really only did have a couple of smalls. With the relative commercial success of UFO I’d hoped they’d restock, especially given the number of large venues they were playing around then.
Just signed up for Birmingham, feeling much more optimistic now.
25 November 2020
mister tubbs
Well done to the doctor – I only got 5 right, and I’ve got most of those t-shirts. After looking at the Probe Plus website, I take it that the Floreat Inertia t-shirt’s no longer available, sadly my old one ended up as a window cleaner many years ago
26 November 2020
cream cheese and chives
@Mr Tubbs I have it on good authority that the same happened to Shaun Teale (ex AVFC centre half)
26 November 2020
EXXO
You’re right about the t-shirt stocks of course Paul. Wishful thinking on my part I suppose, and I hope it isn’t just wishful thinking on your part that the Brum gig will happen in June. Last Sunday it went past a year since I’d seen the band live, but I thought about that day travelling to Oxford with a real sense of adventure, the pubs there and that wonderful gig and it seemed like it was just a few weeks ago. I thought that I’d be more than happy if I get to see them again within about a year or so. Did I mention that on the way home from that gig I saw a actual stag standing at the roadside next to one of those road signs that has a stag on? What a night.
Bob Wilson EP (as I call it)? Did I get that at a gig, or just look at it with you but wait for it to arrive by post? I remember I had two fresh copies on a Saturday morning and rushed round to my mate Ian’s flat in Leeds with one on a Saturday morning in 2001 before getting a lift to Anfield with someone who became Primary Headmistress of the Year in 2015
And prompted partly by the above and partly by Creamy’s quip above, here’s the
Where are they now/where they then? quiz.
Which footballers namechecked by HMHB became the following.
First, two that have been mentioned plenty:
1. A lighthouse keeper, now deceased.
2. A burglar alarm engineer, now retired.
Next some less discussed ones:
3. A newsagent, now retired.
4. A transport manager for a haulage firm , now deceased.
5. Had reality TV series based on his family for a decade, now I don’t know.
Then a very difficult one as most don’t even realise he is mentioned by HMHB:
6. A restaurateur, still doing that with his family.
Then to cheer you up some easy media ones:
7. A long-running breakfast radio host, still doing so.
8. A long-running TV Presenter, now deceased.
26 November 2020
EXXO
Short-circuit in the memory there, I must have been remembering delivering some other HMHB release to what Ian might call his gaff. As soon as I’d posted the above, I got some little pingbacks in my deep blue saying “that Bob Wilson EP was released after the end of the treble season” and so I probably did indeed stuff it down my jarg harrington sleeve, that June night that you refer to.
Wasn’t till over 2.5 years later that al the old Yahoo biscuiteers met up at the Banker’s draft pre-Boardwalk.
Got a message from Yahoo the other day saying they are finally doing away with Yahoo groups next week.
26 November 2020
Lux inferior
Looks like I stopped by at the perfect time for some much-needed light relief (just found out that hordes of upper class public school twats are likely to be descending on my home city to watch The Boat Race next April – here’s hoping we’re back in full lockdown mode by then).
Where are they now? quiz answers:
1. George Farm
2. Bobby Svarc
3. Peter Grummitt
4. Alan Gilzean
5. Jean-Marie Pfaff
6. – (still working on this one)
7. Alan Brazil
8. The obvious answer would seem to be Bob Wilson, except that I’m fairly sure he’s still with us..
26 November 2020
Lux inferior
6. Paolo Rossi?
26 November 2020
EXXO
I honestly doubt this determinedly populist government will dare to give that one any special dispensation for spectators, and if they don’t I’m sure that locals are entitled to pepper spray any outsiders they come across.
Really well done on the quiz. I forgot to say there are TWO separate answers to number 3 and well done on finding one of them. The answer to number 6 appears in the same song line as the other possible answer to number 3, but most folks on here won’t realise that he’s even in a HMHB song. The restaurant is named with a pun on his surname (which is kind of what the HMHB song does too), and is in the northern part of a country in the southern hemisphere
26 November 2020
EXXO
Our posts crossed there. Ooh I do hope Paolo Rossi has a restaurant, and I’d love to go there one day, but I reckon it’d be out of my price range.
Nope see the clue above (which won’t help you cos you may not even have thought of him being in a HMHB song never mind retiring to the southern hemisphere).
26 November 2020
EXXO
Our posts crossed there. Ooh I do hope Paolo Rossi has a restaurant, and I’d love to go there one day, but I reckon it’d be out of my price range.
Nope see the clue above (which won’t help you cos you may not even have thought of him being in a HMHB song never mind retiring to the southern hemisphere).
26 November 2020
CARRIE ANNE
I only know the other answer to 3 is Stuart Boam because he must have regularly passed over ten Bensons to me in the early 90s. Although I had no knowledge of his previous career back then.
26 November 2020
LUx inferior
I’d also established that Stuart Boam was the other possible answer to question 3, but I’m buggered if it’s helping me solve question 6.
26 November 2020
EXXO
Great stuff Karen – ten Karl Bensons, eh?
There’s a statue about 3 yards from the corner of number 6’s restaurant of the town’s founder. Someone daubed it red this summer (actually it was the winter there) and before it was confirmed that this was a protest, I did think it was an exiled supporter of his ex-team wot done it … or even the man himself.
The current menu includes reef fish fried in kombu butter with asparagus. 38 of the local currency. Actually like Paolo Rossi’s place that’s also a bit beyond my budget.
26 November 2020
LUx inferior
Peter Brine!
I only needed about half a dozen clues.
26 November 2020
EXXO
Well done Lux (and Karen). Brine’s family restaurant (after many years as a manager at the local casino) was just “Salts” but now is “A Touch of Salt”. Looks like a nice shady spot on the corner in sweltering Townsville that, by the statue of the re-appraisable Mr. Towns.
26 November 2020
dr desperate
It does seem that now would be a good time for Briny to organise a petition to have Townsville renamed; perhaps after that employee of the slave trader [citation needed] Robert Towns who dispatched the original 1864 surveying party, John Melton Black.
27 November 2020
EXXO
@Dr D, Keith, Idiot Saul, Lux, Leommy, Karen and other regulars in this thread.
With the advent of advent I was wondering what we could do for Xmas, quiz-wise, that was a bit different, and I just wanted to float an idea – a live quiz on Zoom. Possibly a HMHB-themed ‘Only Connect.’ You’d be in two teams*, I’d be quizmaster screensharing the q’s on Powerpoint or more probably Prezi (or similar). It’s the sort of thing I do when I teach anyway so I reckon I could handle two teams of surly Biscuiteers. We could do it for a charity or something.
Sorting out availability & best time would be way complex so that would be done by email etc but in principle do we have a few people that would be up for it?
*Or Dr. D against everyone else 😉
3 December 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Yeah I’d have a go, if others are up for it. Might be nice to put some faces to names, in the absence of gig action. Don’t expect me to get any football ones. And don’t call me Surly.
3 December 2020
dr desperate
I’ll have a basinful of that (but not on the evenings of 12th/13th please, I’ll be streaming a Dr JCC gig and attending another Zoom quiz).
3 December 2020
Parsfan
Sounds good.
Tuesday 15th I’ll be watching our League Cup QF but, such is the wonder of the times in which we live, I could probably do both (getting my excuses in early).
3 December 2020
Lord leomiNster
Yes but I wouldn’t want to be on a team that had someone like me as a member.
3 December 2020
EXXO
You can play for the other team on loan then Leommy.
Great stuff – thanks for the responses. Looks like we have a potential thing then and I’ll be in touch.
3 December 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Available, if selected.
4 December 2020
Chris The Siteowner
Happy to make up numbers for either The Black Horse or The Brown Cow.
4 December 2020
dr desperate
Shame we haven’t got a postman for the music round.
4 December 2020
EXXO
You probably will have a postal worker for the quizmaster though. I signed up to be a “Christmas casual” nearly 2 months ago, amidst publicity that they were taking on record numbers of casuals, and all the checks and after induction four weeks ago, I have had precisely one four-hour shift!! They aren’t sending out any messages or answering any about how much work there will be. I think probably they anticipated a massive wave of Covid amongst the staff and an even more massive surge in online shopping from the public, and it just hasn’t materialised, while the agency gets paid extra just for having signed us up and on standby at zero hours.
Anyhow, thanks for all the responses and I’ll send Chris some kind of ‘availability grid’ to pass on to you all by email … and even if I do get some lovely night shifts in the next fortnight, I’ll have a good look about when best to schedule it.
43,000th post on the site, as the quiz thread approaches 3% of all posts.
4 December 2020
hendrix-tattoo
Who once said “There’s nothing wrong with de-feat”?
4 December 2020
IDIOT SAUL
Laura Morgan’s chiropodist?
4 December 2020
WARDEN HODGES
Ah music, that most joyous of recreations I’d almost forgotten about. Cannot decipher any recent footy/lyrical chants, has there been any? Saying that, I remember Feyenoord fans once who had a fine catalogue of songs , loud proud and bi lingo too.
Yep, 8th tier and probably 8th tier next season if this season ain’t completed,
4 December 2020
dr desperate
Marine did good with their chant in 2010, celebrating their ex-TNS (q v) captain.
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/local-news/marine-fc-supporters-celebrate-best-6965505
5 December 2020
dr desperate
Their previous year’s effort was less well received (sung to the tune of ‘The Addams Family’):
“Arriva Stadium’s our home ground,
We think that our team’s well sound,
To get in it costs four pound,
We’re Marine AFC.
M.A.F.C (clap clap), M.A.F.C (clap clap), M.A.F.C, M.A.F.C, M.A.F.C (clap clap)”.
5 December 2020
BOBBY SVARC
Brendan Buckin’ Rodgers?
5 December 2020
WARDEN HODGES
Nice one Doc….and now we’ve national acclaim.
Tbh, Marine had a chant in 1993 to the tune of Addams Family for ‘hard man’ ( now just a dirty bxxxard!) Graham Rowlands.
5 December 2020
transit full of keith
So um is that quiz happening or what?
13 December 2020
transit full of keith
So um is that quiz happening or what?
13 December 2020
EXXO
Yes Keith – I started thinking up questions for it out of sheer boredom when I had nowt to do, then when I had enough ideas for reeds, serpents, walls etc I proposed the idea on here … but then immediately the shifts on the mail came thick and fast, and I’ve waited till I had enough shifts booked up to pay the bills and then be able to turn down a few shifts … and having decided when I’ll do that, I can now suggest some time slots… it’s knackering anyway (not having done much for 3 months) and I’ll be jiggered if I don’t have a little rest before Xmas … I’ll email Chris now with some suggested slots and ask him if he can pass it on to those who expressed interest.
14 December 2020
EXXO
Yes Keith – I started thinking up questions for it out of sheer boredom when I had nowt to do, then when I had enough ideas for reeds, serpents, walls etc I proposed the idea on here … but then immediately the shifts on the mail came thick and fast, and I’ve waited till I had enough shifts booked up to pay the bills and then be able to turn down a few shifts … and having decided when I’ll do that, I can now suggest some time slots… it’s knackering anyway (not having done much for 3 months) and I’ll be jiggered if I don’t have a little rest before Xmas … I’ll email Chris now with some suggested slots and ask him if he can pass it on to those who have expressed interest.
14 December 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Nice, look forward to hearing more. Doesn’t have to be before Christmas…
14 December 2020
parsfan
Email sent. I should have enough time to find out what Only Connect is.
The Friday Quiz, should it not be on Friday 25th?
14 December 2020
EXXO
OK. So the planets are aligned metaphorically as well as literally on this solstice, as the best time for our Zoom Only-Connect-inspired quiz, balancing everyone’s factors, seems to be this Monday (21st) at 8pm-9.30. This is the exact same time as the finales of both the real Only Connect (which Mrs Exford prefers to record and pause for thought anyway) and University Challenge. And at the same time as a top, top, televised premier league game. But then most things these days are at the same time as a top, top, televised premier league game.
Also appropriately for a solstice clash of the giants, our galacticos will be teamed North v. South.
There is room for a couple more participants, preferably one to represent the North and one the South.
18 December 2020
Alice Van Der Meer
I’ll consult my diary secretary – if I’m free on the 21st (I just have a nagging feeling there’s something doing – it’s not the cricket club, which is def Sunday) I could be the Southerner. Though that depends slightly on there being a laptop available as mine is going into dock this afternoon for the White Screen of Death…
18 December 2020
dr desperate
Should be a Great Conjunction.
18 December 2020
JITSU_G
I’ve just been contacted by Dr D with regard to playing for the North. So I’m making myself available for selection if required. Cheers
18 December 2020
EXXO
Excellent. So we have The South represented by Chris, Keith and hopefully Alice (no pressure), and The North represented by Dr. D, Pars Paul and JitsuG.
With The Southern team seemingly all based in Oxford or Cambridge, there is an obvious temptation to label them Footlights College Oxbridge, but we’d best avoid that or their opposition would have to be known as Scumbag College (Young Ones, Series 2 Episode 1, May 1984 – surely one of the greatest episodes of any comedy series, ever).
Bambi.
(I can’t see them crushing the oiks – CtSO)
19 December 2020
Chris The Siteowner
And in rather timely fashion, Ade Edmondson has just put this on Twitter…
19 December 2020
Schoon
What channel is it on?
19 December 2020
Alice van der meer
You might want to make sure you have a sub handy as the laptop has been left with the business the techy rents from, so I’m guessing it won’t even get looked at until Monday…
19 December 2020
dr desperate
I was rather hoping we might call ourselves Rothersthorpe North, but Scumbag College is OK (as long as we can be in the top half of the screen and kick through the floor to throw stick grenades at Footlights College if we’re being thrashed).
19 December 2020
Laure
Space available for spectators?
19 December 2020
dr desperate
Laure, come, sit down. For you there is always some. How much do you need?
(Sorry, ignore the last bit.)
20 December 2020
EXXO
Hi Laure, If you’re happy to be an actual team member, what we’ll do then is we’ll have you as number three for ‘The South’ (I believe you may spend much time nearer the equator than any of us), and Alice, whose participation seems to hang by a thread, can be number 4 if he can make it.
20 December 2020
Alice Van Der Meer
No complaints here. I’m hoping I will at least know if the laptop will live later today.
Not looking forward to being crushed to death by a huge sticky bun afterwards, mind.
21 December 2020
Lux inferior
Been meaning to thank Exxo for considering me worthy of an invite to the Zoom quiz back when he initially mooted the idea earlier in the month. Unfortunately, my level is more ‘Connect Four’ than ‘Only Connect’. Outside of sport and music, I’d undoubtedly have been outed as the charlatan/knobhead I am.
Good to see you have sufficient willing participants and I hope it’s a roaring success. Perhaps you could post a link to a recording of the evening’s events at some point. Best of luck to all.
21 December 2020
lord leominster
I have previously given my apologies to Exxo, on account of having been sent to gut hummingbirds for the foreseeable future.
I hope the quiz is a blast. Have a happy and peaceful Christmas, everyone.
21 December 2020
Alice van der meer
Laptop back, assuming it doesn’t fall over again (It’s been fettled, and parts ordered), I’ll be online.
21 December 2020
Parsfan
It might not be the right attitude, but I’m seeing this as more of a pub quiz than appearing on a TV show.
I hope I don’t let down my direction.
21 December 2020
dr desperate
Desperately listening to ‘This Is HMHB’ on Spotify as last-minute revision.
The N.W.R.A.
21 December 2020
EXXO
Dr. Desperate had wi-fi problems leaving the North a man down. They fought doggedly and led 4-3 early on, and though 9-6 down at one point clawed it back to 16-all at the start of the all important missing vowels* round. Keith became the South’s MVP late on, dominating that round as the South ran out 21-18 winners.
Quizmaster relieved that there was a decent margin of victory so that the controversies and downright incompetences would perhaps be forgiven.
The North live to point out that in terms of points per player they won 9-7.
We’ll do it again next Christmas. Hopefully with Dr. Desperate on a better connection.
*occasional missing consonants too 🙁
Thanks to all who took part, money raised for a good cause too
https://donorbox.org/support-the-hive-youth-zone
21 December 2020
Parsfan
Thanks Chas, that was good fun. I know these things take a lot of effort so well done for coming up with the idea and making it happen.
21 December 2020
Chris The Siteowner
Thanks Charles, a good way to spend an evening. The cries of “oh no I’ve f*cked up the question again” only made it more entertaining. I think that given we were playing against a team with a man down, a draw could be offered. Hope you can put the recording up somewhere, people have already asked too see it.
21 December 2020
dr desperate
Apologies to everyone for my non-attendance, especially to Exxo/Paxo and to my team, who sound to have done the North proud even at two-thirds strength.
I’d been using my laptop all afternoon to listen to HMHB songs, but at the vital moment it let me down, providing no sound either in or out for the Zoom meeting (or since). Perhaps knocking my webcam over during the elaborate set-up process didn’t help.
22 December 2020
JITSU_G
A fun way to spend an evening. Thanks to Exxo for organising and being quiz master.
22 December 2020
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Thanks for setting up and running such an excellent quiz Exxo, I’m sure the result would have been very different with Dr. D on board. Lots of brilliantly crafted questions. Nice to meet those of you I hadn’t met before, hope to see you at an actual gig when the plague’s over…
22 December 2020
Alice van der meer
Yes, that was thoroughly fun – thank you. Disappointed to have missed Dr D, but I’ve had no access to anything useful through work (including most of the stuff I need to work with) since about 2pm yesterday unil now, so you have my sympathy! Keeps the moths out of the tour jacket, I guess…
We (SWMBO and I) really must make an effort when gigs resume to join the travelling army of synthetic supporters!
22 December 2020
dr desperate
Last night’s Only Connect Special was, suspiciously, a North/South contest between teams from Scunthorpe and Oxford. No HMHB references that I noticed.
(Since the subject of Egyptian hieroglyphs has been brought up, one recalls that in the early series questions were identified by Greek letters, but this was changed after complaints that it was “too pretentious”.)
31 December 2020
EXXO
Funnily enough when outlining the rules of the quiz, I told the teams that “John would probably be able to tell you which series that was.”
31 December 2020
dr desperate
(Looks away from webcam nonchalantly) Series 4, I believe.
31 December 2020
EXXO
Just a trailer for our long-running pop-up quiz series
The Road to Wembley
of which
Part 8 – FA Cup 2nd Round
and
Part 9 – FA Cup 3rd Round
Which will follow later today and tomorrow.
To keep the appeal as wide as possible, of the fifty or so questions in the seven rounds so far, none has been about football and this will continue to apply right through to the final.
There. I’ve got to get something together now and the day has a purpose, of sorts, until the actual football, of sorts, starts. Or doesn’t.
8 January 2021
EXXO
Blimey. It’s turned out a bit fiendish. the snow might not have stuck today, but you might be.
The Road to Wembley
Part 8 – FA Cup 2nd Round
Ok. 20 clues. The answers are each one word of 3 or 4 or 5 letters. Put any 2 or 3 of the 20 answer words together and re-arrange the letters to make the names of each the 7 HMHB-referenced clubs (full names) that were represented in the last round of the FA Cup (November 28th/29th/30th 2020). Six of the teams have 3 words to make their anagram, and one club has just 2 words.
Only a couple of the clues have anything to do with HMHB lyrics, and it’s fairly clear which those are.
The catch is that all twenty clues are at least one way (and often more than one way) the opposite of what they should be.
So for example, if “Leeds United” were one of the clubs (they aren’t), three of the clues might be:
1. Modern way to say exactly 240 gallons of wine.
Answer “TUN” – an ancient imperial measure of at least 240 gallons (modern opposite of ancient, and not exactly either, as there were different definitions).
7. Shaw’s TV law-breaker
Answer “DEED”, TV judge played by Martin Shaw (law-enforcer not law-breaker)
16. Tells the truth
Answer “LIES” (opposite of whole clue)
These three answers make an anagram of Leeds United.
Those were examples. Here are your real 20 clues.
1. Hard to find a way to get to this new city.
2. His wife had a sweet look (as opposed to a savory one).
3. A western group of countries before WW2.
4. England’s most modern peerage.
5. No yurt or tent necessary for this permanently settled individual.
6. Fish that acts well.
7. Ex-president.
8. He didn’t think much about a particular state, and so the song he wrote wasn’t referred to much in recent US election headlines.
9. Sunscreen sported on-screen by those happy to lose their freedom.
10. This word doesn’t describe any Athenian sage or any HMHB uncle.
11. Satellite became duller.
12. Idol’s female had a very compliant one.
13. Lesser spotted folk dance.
14. The bottom of your cooker.
15. Move against the wind or current.
16. Nobody ever puts Christmas decorations on this short-legged bird.
17. Dry, mountainous area in the west – singularly so.
18. Plant grows successfully in this county.
19. Noise rarely heard from your ass.
20. The results of my life don’t include this score.
8 January 2021
dr desperate
OK, got em.
It might be as well not to leave it too long before announcing the answers, as the oppositeness of one of the clues (the first word of the last answer) may be time-sensitive.
9 January 2021
dr desperate
(That is, more time-sensitive than might normally have been expected.)
9 January 2021
EXXO
While the riot was still going on in the Capitol buildings on Wednesday, odds were 11-1 at best that he would serve the full term till Jan 20th. That market’s gone now but he’s currently 2/9 to be impeached again.
Anyway John, well played and you can give us the answers on Monday, just in case anyone else fancies a go over the weekend.
My advice to them would be to do it backwards. Write out the names of the seven football clubs, and when you get stuck maybe try an anagram generator, one where you can set it for only words of 3-5 letters such as wordsmith.org
I’ll put the quiz for the 3rd round up this evening, some time before Match of the Day, and it will be quite different.
Millwall v. Boreham Wood is really one of those wishing the ground would open up and swallow both of them sort of matches, isn’t it?
9 January 2021
EXXO
Part 9 – FA Cup Third Round (and Second Round in Scotland)
Apologies for delay, due indirectly to Mrs Exford not asking me to carry a sack of coal for her last night. This round of the quiz is simpler and for a change it’s even HMHB lyrics-related.
Eighteen HMHB-referenced places (actually16 places and two others with the same names) were/are represented in the English (and Scottish) FA Cups this weekend/next week.
Which of the places is referenced in the lyrics
a) as a famous attraction?
b) as a specific historical event? (two answers)
c) as a romantic destination?
d) as bits of of bovine bother? (three or four answers?)
e) as a specific area of the city?
f) as a city, of which an area is separately mentioned in the same song?
g) as a river?
h) as a point on a route?
i) as a vehicle? (two answers)
j) for an attempt at the equivalent of a path?
k) as a hub of the avant-garde?
l) as a place of ingress?
m) as someone’s name?
n) as an armchair-supported side?
o) as a studio-supported side?
p) as none of the above? (one answer)
Scottish FA Cup Round 2
1. Airdrieonians v Edinburgh City
2. Alloa Athletic v Cove Rangers
3. Arbroath v Falkirk
4. Buckie Thistle v Inverness Caledonian Thistle
5. Camelon or Brora Rangers v Heart of Midlothian
6. Dumbarton v Huntly or Cumbernauld Colts
7. Dundee v Bonnyrigg Rose Athletic or Bo’ness United
8. Dundonald Bluebell or Queen’s Park v Queen of the South
9. East Fife v Tranent Juniors
10. Elgin City v Ayr United
11. Forfar Athletic v Linlithgow Rose
12. Formartine United v Annan Athletic
13. Fraserburgh v Banks O’Dee
14. Greenock Morton v Dunfermline Athletic
15. Keith v Clyde
16. Kelty Hearts v Stranraer
17. Nairn County v Montrose
18. Partick Thistle v Cowdenbeath
19. Peterhead v Stenhousemuir
20. Stirling Albion v Raith Rovers
English FA Cup Round 3
1 Huddersfield Town v Plymouth Argyle
2 Southampton v Shrewsbury Town
3 Chorley v Derby County
4 Marine v Tottenham Hotspur
5 Wolverhampton Wanderers v Crystal Palace
6 Stockport County v West Ham United
7 Oldham Athletic v AFC Bournemouth
8 Manchester United v Watford
9 Stevenage v Swansea City
10 Everton v Rotherham United
11 Nottingham Forest v Cardiff City
12 Arsenal v Newcastle United
13 Barnsley v Tranmere Rovers
14 Bristol Rovers v Sheffield United
15 Boreham Wood v Millwall
16 Blackburn Rovers v Doncaster Rovers
17 Stoke City v Leicester City
18 Wycombe Wanderers v Preston North End
19 Crawley Town v Leeds United
20 Burnley v Milton Keynes Dons
21 Bristol City v Portsmouth
22 Queens Park Rangers v Fulham
23 Aston Villa v Liverpool
24 Brentford v Middlesbrough
25 Manchester City v Birmingham City
26 Luton Town v Reading
27 Chelsea v Morecambe
28 Exeter City v Sheffield Wednesday
29 Norwich City v Coventry City
30 Blackpool v West Bromwich Albion
31 Newport County v Brighton & Hove Albion
32 Cheltenham Town v Mansfield Town
Suggested supplementary task if time is hanging heavy
Guess the order of population size of the eighteen places, write them out as list by guessing only, and then check on Wikipedia. You start with 100 points and lose a point for every wrong place, ie if you put the number one as the number six you lose five points. There will be a subtraction for every town or city in the wrong place, even if it’s just two that should be the other way round.
10 January 2021
EXXO
Hadn’t made an error in a quiz question for nearly three weeks, but normal sevice is resumed, and please ignore the final question (p), to which the answer is none of the above.
10 January 2021
dr desperate
My answers to Part 8 :
1. ROME (destination of all roads)
2. LOT (Genesis 19:26)
3. BLOC (post-war Eastern grouping)
4. EARL (oldest rank of Peerage)
5. NOMAD (person of no fixed abode)
6. COD (fish; spoof actor)
7. TRUMP (President possibly incumbent for the next few days)
8. HOAGY (Carmichael, writer of ‘Georgia On My Mind’)
9. WOAD (body paint sported in ‘Braveheart’)
10. CYNIC (My uncle Charlie; follower of Greek philosophy)
11. WAXED (increased in eg lunar brightness)
12. YELL (Billy Idol, ‘Rebel Yell’)
13 POLKA (dance; dots)
14. HOB (top of your cooker)
15. DRIFT (move with the current)
16. CRANE (bird; structure frequently decorated at Christmas)
17. FEN (flat Eastern wetland)
18. WILTS (shire; fails to thrive)
19. BRAY (cry of an equid)
20. NIL (results depressingly strung together).
1 + 9 + 14 : BOREHAM WOOD
2 + 10 + 20 : LINCOLN CITY
3 + 13 : BLACKPOOL
4 + 11 + 16 : CREWE ALEXANDRA
5 + 17 + 18 : MANSFIELD TOWN
6 + 15 + 19 : BRADFORD CITY
7 + 8 + 12 : PLYMOUTH ARGYLE.
11 January 2021
EXXO
Perfect arrows John, a very impressive double top check-out.
Might as well bung us the answers to the other part when you’re ready.
12 January 2021
dr desperate
Okay, not entirely sure about some of them, but:
My answers to Part 9 :
(a) Blackpool (Illuminations);
(b) Luton Town / Milwall (1985);
(c) (Point of) Ayr Utd;
(d) Elgin, Nairn, Brora (beefless);
(e) Liverpool (Toxteth), or Manchester City/Utd (Harpurhey);
(f) Leeds / Gipton;
(g) Banks O’ (River) Dee;
(h) Stoke (after which it starts to crawl);
(i) (Chrysler) Plymouth / (Transit full of) Keith;
(j) Mansfield (attempt to emulate Pavement);
(k) Boreham Wood (home of experimental trio);
(l) Stranraer (ghost port, even pre-Brexit);
(m) Chelsea (potentially gelling gel);
(n) Palace (Brothers, listened to from a sedentary position);
(o) Preston (so-called banterers);
(p) (Milan) derby.
12 January 2021
EXXO
Great effort Doc. I’ll give you 13/15 but if anyone else can supply answers for (e) and (n), they can call it a victory of sorts.
A note on which teams qualify as being Biscuit-referenced is perhaps useful at this point. Clearly I have been generous with ‘Plymouth,’ but it is a car which is named after a place which is ultimately named after our Plymouth, in perhaps the most famous of early colonial twinnings.
Then there’s Ayr United and Banks o’ Dee, also included for fun in this round. Well, at least they are named after topology with probably identical etymology as the homonymic places referenced in the lyrics. In jest, I also included Runcorn Linnets in an early round, out of a sort of weird Cheshire sympa-darity as much as anything.
The line must be drawn there. Rock City Notts can only be used for Notts County, not Forest. The Palace brothers won’t do for Crystal Palace, nor Bobby Charlton for Charlton Athletic. LIPA cannot be used as a reference to Liverpool FC. Harpurhey, well, nah, good try.
Cities mentioned in BBC session cover versions count as they are available for us to enjoy in perpetuity, in live cover versions not.
In (n), ‘armchair’ support is implied rather than stated.
Hope that all helps.
12 January 2021
EXXO
Oh and I didn’t say for this round that answers can’t be repeated.
12 January 2021
EXXO
That is to say, I didn’t set that as a rule so answers to more than one question can be repeated.
12 January 2021
EXXO
Lofts for the outstanding pigeons from Round 9 were in
(e) The West End of Derby
(n) Chelsea again (as in England, Chelsea, Accy Stanley and … Barça, all armchair-supported by the hapless and the moribund).
An essential expedition to Ilkley today has been postponed amid fears of the 20 miles taking 3 hours (as it would have done yesterday, challenging stuff in a council electric van), so I should be able to cobble something quizzical together for today’s Late Lunch audience.
15 January 2021
EXXO
OK be honest, how many of these winter-themed questions, inspired by the heaviest snowfall round here for several years (and which has stopped me from doing my thing today), can you get without googling/looking them up, including looking up the lyrics and titles of songs? 28 answers, just tell us how many you think you got please (not the actual answers).
1. Which HMHB song with a snowy scene refers to a 1977 TV series?
2. Which HMHB song with refers to a wintry episode in a 1970 TV series?
3. Which bleak HMHB song contains the solution to a wintry problem in which other HMHB song?
4. “An altogether more different snow.” Name five different HMHB songs which mention or allude to cocaine.
5. What, pedantically, is inaccurate about HMHB’s description of Switzerland’s greatest ever winter sportswoman?
6. Which winter Olympic sport referred to in HMHB lyrics can you have a go at on stag weekends in Riga with heavy-drinking rugby pals?
7. Which winter sport is practised (including on stag weekends) at the famous Cresta (what the fuck were we drinking) Run? How is it different from a the quite similar sport mentioned by HMHB?
8. Which HMHB-referenced football club did not discipline a star player when he broke strict club rules to go skiing about 4 years ago? Think they felt sorry for him ‘cos his mansion was burgled while he was away.
9. If the hapless climber in Mod. Diff, V.Diff had a winter fall on the south slopes of Glyder Fach or Glyder Fawr, we would call Llanberis, quick as we could. Which HMHB-referenced place would we call if he was stuck on the north side of the same peaks?
10. In the same song, another Valley-based rescue team are alluded to – who are they?
11. At least six brands of winter outdoor wear are name-checked in at least six HMHB songs – which songs?
12. Three countries with territory in the arctic circle are name-checked in HMHB songs. Which of them has:
(a)the highest proportion of its territory in the Arctic Circle?
(b)the most northerly point of all the three countries?
(two different answers)
13. You can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage, as any fule kno. But what (alluded to in another HMHB song) can only be imported to Amsterdam from Inuit sources?
14. On the Beaufort scale, a Force Eight gale causes which HMHB-referenced phenomenon? Secondly, after this original meaning, which other two substances can the term for this phenomenon refer to?
15. “As pure as the proverbial driven sleet.” There are various different definitions of sleet. In which sense of the word can it be considered the opposite of snow?
16. Which HMHB-referenced creature began its lyrical evolution in live versions, as its own domesticated descendant?
15 January 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I reckon I’ve got 11 definites, with some guesses taking it up to a possible 16.
15 January 2021
EXXO
A volunteering thing I’ve been doing turned magically overnight into a much-needed paid role this week (before I even knew it had) and so I’ve been a bit busy to prompt you for some answers Keith, but do fire away with the answers for your victory salvo of somewhere between 11 and 16 guns, any time you’re ready.
22 January 2021
transit full of keith
1. –
2. A pure guess but this might be ‘It’s Cliched to Be Cynical At Christmas’
3. –
4. What Made Colombia Famous, The Light At The End of the Tunnel, Time Flies By
5. ‘Downhill Lady’, Vreni Schneider. I’m going to guess she did slalom instead?
6. Bobsleigh?
7. Toboggan vs Bobsleigh, solo vs team event?
8. –
9. Ogwen Valley Mountain Rescue service, based in Betws-Y-Coed.
10. I guess Yosemite Valley also has a mountain rescue service?
11. Trespass (The Announcement)
Lowe Alpine (Corgi Registered Friends)
Paramo (Mod Diff V Diff)
Bridgedale (Gwatkin)
And more cryptically, Cotswold (Twydales Lament)
Millets (Shite Day), (not sure whether the shop name is on a clothing label though, isn’t it Peter Storm?)
12. Guessing here, but Iceland (b) and Finland (a)?
13. –
14. spindrift (which can be water, snow or sand)
15. –
16. –
22 January 2021
transit full of keith
correction to 9 – Capel Curig
22 January 2021
EXXO
Pulling out the 14 points out of a possible make you last week’s winner, though we’ll stagger on in case anyone else fancies a late blizzard of answers to the remaining legs.
You are totally correct on Q’s 5, 6, 9 (with your first answer) and 14 (three points for that one).
You have 3 of my 5 answers to Q.4, 4 of my 6 answers to Q.11 (your first 4), and on Q.12 you are correct on part (a).
22 January 2021
EXXO
14 out of 28, 29 or 30 I meant to say. I’m not sure which.
22 January 2021
dr desperate
Little in the way of Rugby League in the canon, but how about American Footy?
In preparation for next weekend’s Big Match, here’s a
Succinct Umpiring * Friday quiz for y’all.
Every clueword appears in the lyrics of a different HMHB song, close to another word which gives the answer. Every answer is one of the 32 teams competing in the NFL (either place- or team-name).
For instance, if Preston North End and Derby County played in the NFL (they don’t) they might be clued as ‘banter’ (“banter with the Preston” from ‘Bad Wools’) and ‘bassoon’ (“on the county bassoon” from ‘Evening Sun’).
Single-word clues lead to single-word answers (except in the case of one team name recently changed to two words, which appear abbreviated in the lyric).
Two-word clues lead to words from two separate songs which combine to form the answer. For instance, ‘North End’ might be clued as ‘Pole’ + ‘Blockbusters’ (“at the North Pole” from ‘Eno Collaboration’ + “at the end of Blockbusters” from ‘Hedley Verityesque’.
All team names require changing from singular to plural, except for one which changes in the opposite direction, and one which is already plural in the lyric (and has a plural clue).
The two hyphens are intentional.
Finally, as a wild card (and to make it up to 20 questions) one of the answers must have a single letter altered to give the team’s correct place-name.
Got it? Good. The clues (in alphabetical order of answers) are:
1. Care
2. Someone
3. Anorak
4. Executive
5. Stray
6. Altar
7. Parlourmaids
8. Camden
9. Favourite
10. Screen
11. How + Kinmel
12. -wash
13. Shack + Rock
14. Conservatory + Beasts
15. Mills + Duke
16. Dead
17. Bass + shite-
18. Crazy
19. Jumper + Cemaes
20. Toxteth
You can post your answers after the game (ie Monday 8th Feb) if you like.
*How come the quiz title, I wonder?
29 January 2021
EXXO
Great stuff Doc – you’ve really stepped up to the errm, plate, I mean the grid with this one. I look forward to having a go at the weekend.
Meanwhile the icy lack of response to the unanswered winter questions from a fortnight ago has broken all January records – Keith was cold on about 16 points – so I’ll give some more clues this evening.
29 January 2021
EXXO
A quiz for road-gritters to get to work on
I’ll re-paste the quiz with some extra clues and Keith’s correct answers. He wins, although there are still more points up for grabs than he got.
1. Which 1980’s HMHB song with a snowy scene refers to a controversial 1977 TV series?
2. Which 1990’s HMHB song with a wintry sketch refers to an episode of a 1970 kids’ TV series?
3. Which bleak HMHB song from 2011 contains the solution to a wintry problem in which other HMHB song?
4. “An altogether more different snow.” Name five different HMHB songs which mention or allude to cocaine. Keith scored three points with Colombia, Light/Tunnel & Time Flies
5. What, pedantically, is inaccurate about HMHB’s description of Switzerland’s greatest ever winter sportswoman? keith was correct that she excelled at slalom and above all giant slalom, and was undistinguished in downhill
6. Which winter Olympic sport referred to in HMHB lyrics can you have a go at on stag weekends in Riga with heavy-drinking rugby pals? Keith guessed correctly that this was bobsleigh
7. which other winter Olympics event is practised (including on stag weekends) at the famous Cresta (what the fuck were we drinking) Run? How is it different from a quite similar sport mentioned by HMHB?
8. Which HMHB-referenced football club did not discipline a star player when he broke strict club rules to go skiing?
9. If the hapless climber in Mod. Diff, V.Diff had a winter fall on the south slopes of Glyder Fach or Glyder Fawr, we would call Llanberis, quick as we could. Which HMHB-referenced place would we call if he was stuck on the north side? Keith was correct the first time with Ogwen Valley
10. In V.Diff, another Valley-based rescue team are alluded to with one verb in the lyrics – who are they and who was their celebrity member from 2010 to 2013?
11. At least six brands of outdoor wear suitable for winter conditions are name-checked in at least six HMHB songs – which songs? Keith got 4 brands : Trespass (The Announcement)
Lowe Alpine (Corgi Registered Friends)
Paramo (Mod Diff V Diff)
Bridgedale (Gwatkin)
12. Three countries with territory in the arctic circle are name-checked in HMHB songs. Which of them has:
(a)the highest proportion of its territory in the Arctic Circle? Keith correctly says Finland
(b)the most northerly point of all those three countries? The point is named after a monumental bloke from Ulverston.
13. You can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage, as any fule kno. But what (alluded to in another HMHB song) can only be imported to Amsterdam (or anywhere else in the EU) from Inuit sources?
14. On the Beaufort scale, a Force Eight gale causes which HMHB-referenced phenomenon? Secondly, after this original meaning, which other two substances can the term for this phenomenon refer to? Keith was correct to say spindrift (which as well as sea water, can be snow or sand)
15. “As pure as the proverbial driven sleet.” There are various different definitions of sleet, but in which precise meteorological sense of the word can it be considered the opposite of snow?
16. Which HMHB-referenced creature, its coat well adapted for winter warmth, began its evolution in live shows, as its own domesticated descendant?
30 January 2021
parsfan
The first one is Venus In Flares, referencing some programme starring Robert Powell as JC.
Will think further on the others.
30 January 2021
Parsfan
Footprints for number 2. Nativity and Junior Kickstart.
I answered this a couple of hours ago, maybe this one will work.
30 January 2021
Parsfan
Number 3. RSVP and It’s Clichéd.
Anti-freeze and moaning at the snow ‘cos your car wouldn’t go.
31 January 2021
dr desperate
Thought I’d missed the gritter on this one, but:
4. “Charlie in Bali” (‘A Shropshire Lad’);
“powdered Peruvian bark” (‘Little In The Way Of Sunshine’);
“the coke was Coke” (‘Christian Rock Concert’).
7. Luge (‘Deep House Victims’)
Competitors lie on a luge on their backs, on a sled (mentioned as a maze shape in ‘Evening of Swing’) on their fronts.
8. Barça (‘Bad Wools’) failed to discipline Ronaldo.
10. Not sure about this one – ? Cleveland (some reference to whaling?)
11. Barbour (‘Split Single’); Burberry (’27 Yards’)
12. America (mentioned as South America in ‘Eno Collaboration’). Point Barrow, Alaska is named after Ulverstonian Sir John Barrow, of local Monument fame.
13. Seal products (‘Sealclubbing’)
14. One obscure definition of sleet is the icy coating which forms on roads, etc when rain freezes. So, not snow.
15. I thought this might be a reference to our old mate Ron Seal, but seals have already been mentioned. ? Wolf (the fleece in ‘Terminus’, or the -whistle in ‘Reasons To Be Miserable’), evolving into a dog?
31 January 2021
Parsfan
I’ll add Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite to number 4 with “Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads”.
31 January 2021
dr desperate
Come to think of it, the fleece may have devolved from husky- to wolf-print between the Cambridge Junction gig in 2010 and the release of ‘Fuckin’ Hedge’ in 2018.
Also, it strikes me that definition of ‘sleet’ is what we would call ‘black ice’. Black ice, Snow White.
31 January 2021
EXXO
Some very impressive quizzery, gentlemen. Well played.
Q1.Yes, Venus in Flares refers to the image of Christ in the Alpine snow being allegedly photographed from a plane, which it never was, and hence the satire involving the gentleman who played the role.
Q2.An ingenious effort, Paul, but no, I ask about one episode of a 1970 TV series, not a 1979-1992 series.
Q3. Yes, well played.
Q4. Brilliant – I didn’t say there were only 5, so I’ll take the 6 (TBH I’d forgotten Mimeshow) but not the Peruvian bark.
Q7. Nobody’s actually said “skeleton,” but I’ll take the Doc’s answer, and the difference from the Lady Mayoress’ faster and more manoeuvrable luge manoeuvres.
Q8. Blimey Doc – my quiz was posted before the controversy arose in Torino about Ronaldo, but as far as I know he’s never been on Barca’s books. No, I refer to a news story from 2017, about this time of year I seem to recall.
Q.11 Well played Doc, that’s 6, but I must admit I hadn’t included Burberry as I’d forgotten they did up-market items that are actually serviceable outdoor wear. So there’s still one of my brands outstanding.
Q12.Well played Doc, but I was thinking of ‘The States’ in Eno as the most northerly part of “America” would be way further north on an island named after a contemporary but entirely different and inferior sort of Lord.
Q.13 Well played Doc
Q.15. We’ve had some spectacular answers so I’m not too bothered that they are a bit different from mine, which was that snow is a solid which more often than not melts to liquid before it hits the ground, and sleet is (in one definition) liquid which freezes to a solid not that long before it hits the ground, in a near-surface layer of sub-zero air.
Q.16 Yes Doc! there was more than one scathing live reference to the (Primarky) trend for husky print fleeces, which became wolf-print in the song.
All of which leaves me still wondering if anyone can crack Q2, 8, 10 and one more brand for Q.11.
I’ll put you out of your misery about 5pm tomorrow, Monday.
31 January 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
2. Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis (Scooby-Doo, “That ski lodge would have been mine…”)?
11. Does Berghaus get a mention? (I’m sure a Berghaus kagoule gets sported on a CD inlay, but I can’t think of a lyric).
31 January 2021
dr desperate
8. Oops, right song, wrong Ronaldo. If it was pre-Covid, then it must have been Chelsea (‘Bad Wools’ again) failing to discipline John Terry.
11. Well spotted, @Keith. Berghaus does indeed get a mention, in ‘Ready Steady Goa’.
1 February 2021
dr desperate
10. Beginning to think I was on the right lines with ‘W(h)aling’ – Prince William was known as Flt Lt Wales when he flew Sea Kings with C Flight of 22 Squadron for the RAF Valley MR team (as featured in the BBC documentary series ‘Helicopter Rescue’).
1 February 2021
EXXO
Superb, you’ve got them all now between you – yes, for Q2 the final episode of the first series of Scooby Doo, for Q8 John Terry towards the end of his time with Chelsea, for Q10 the only team that could “winch me out of here” on Cloggy would be yes, the old Sea Kings based at RAF Valley until 2016, or since 2016 the Sikorsky S92s from the new search & rescue base at Caernarfon. Yes, Q.11 the last was Berghaus.
Meanwhile I’m on about 16 for the NFL franchises, Doc. Am I right in thinking that one of the finalists features twice?
1 February 2021
dr desperate
Indeed there is a slight overlap of answers. In fact, five of the answers lead to three of the teams.
1 February 2021
uncle joe
Here are 20 anagrams of names of people in HMHB songs. No looking up on that list in this site! The forename and surname must both appear (so no Henman or Rusedski for example as only “Tim and Greg” are mentioned in Foam Party and no Logie Baird from AH Bootleg as there’s no “John” – another 2 Top 10 songs for me). Any particular capitals and punctuation are incidental, let me know if (or for some, how quickly) you get all 20.
1) He monk (just for my mate who spent an entire weekend unable to stop trotting out that first couplet apropos of nothing)
2) Troll rope web
3) Ron robs dung
4) Untassle Roy
5) Moleman E mash
6) A bust snub
7) Kniving ELO nest
8) Art tat hike
9) Ran noisy verb
10) ie. via drawing
11) Ask svelte Mum
12) Siri alley
13) I’m PT seeker
14) Priest wok, eh?
15) All NY gene
16) Low neck sink
17) A rank jank, me
18) Hair bend
19) They livery Ed
20) AC/DC llama inv.
Hope that’s passably entertaining, apologies if not!
4 February 2021
EXXO
Nice one Neo-Cluj, look forward to having a go at those!
4 February 2021
Lux inferior
Nice work, Unc.
I’ve worked out all twenty, though I believe you’ve made a slight error with number 5 – an A too many and an O short.
4 February 2021
dr Desperate
Excellent work, @Junco Eel!
(I won’t say how long they took me, but it was considerably more than Exxo’s prediction, of which No 8 took nearly half of the time).
5 February 2021
uncle joe
Indeed, apologies all, silly me, it’s supposed to be “mosh” not “mash”, especially as I had a picture of the Simpsons character sponsoring the moshpits whilst full of MDMA.
I forgot to add the “bonus round” which is two places mentioned in a line, one a place name and the other a location:
I’m quite NRA
Oh, Gumtree
I didn’t think it would push anyone who can have even a decent crack at the usual quiz but I’ll try to come up with some more over the next few days whilst watching the cricket.
5 February 2021
uncle joe
Glad to have given you something that took more than seconds, Dr D!
5 February 2021
Lux inferior
Bonus round solved.
The anagram that slowed me up in the original quiz was number 18 which, after number 1, should probably have been the easiest.
5 February 2021
uncle joe
Well she can be quite hard to spot behind the wardrobe, Lux I…
I presume no one is hanging waiting for any of the anagram answers and will try to come up with some more when business etc allows.
9 February 2021
uncle joe
I have finally got round to doing some more anagrams. Please do say if you’d rather I didn’t. Same regs as before, nice easy start for number 1.
1) Ma works hard.
2) Quasi old Mini.
3) NN herb joy.
4) Tank T mine, Heather.
5) Gem pug, Tony.
6) Stable boy tan.
7) Raw sob, I think.
8) Cure peni size mock. (or if you prefer, “Emu cock size ripen”).
9) Is tank noise ok?
10) Olay. Bad me.
11) I’m sock mite.
12) A near call.
12 March 2021
LUx inferior
Always partial to an anagram or two, Uncle Joe. I’ve just spent almost the entirety of the Crystal Palace – West Brom match puzzling over number 9 (far more entertaining than the game, to be fair), and now have all the answers. I did unearth a few minor errors, however:
Number 2 – your anagram is short an E.
Number 4 – one E too many & short an A.
Number 9 – one N too many in your anagram.
Great work nonetheless.
13 March 2021
uncle joe
Crikey, apologies all round, that’s a very shabby effort on my part. I really shouldn’t watch the cricket whilst attempting these, especially when England are spanking India. I can even see I haven’t ticked the right letters off in 4 & 9, in 2 I meant to fudge the “e” onto old. Must do better, 3/10!
15 March 2021
EXXO
And then there was one (Chelsea). Suppose I’d better catch up on the FA Cup with some sort of quiz this weekend. Way too busy with Cheltenham to even think until today – just done all the final accounts and £341 up on the week, hurrah.
Who’s afraid if Virginia played?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/56460526
20 March 2021
dr desperate
Since we’ve got onto 40-year-old World Cup Qualifiers, here’s a Friday Quiz (can’t vouch for how Good it is) relating to that fateful night in September 1981 when our boys took a hell of a beating in Oslo.
Of the eight English historical figures traduced by the Norwegian commentator Bjørge Lillelien at the end of the match, which two are referred to by name in HMHB songs? And which three have some part of their name mentioned in a different context?
Not a major effort: more of a quizling. (Sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned Quisling.)
2 April 2021
Lux inferior
Q.1 – Lady Diana & Thatcher
Q.2 –
Sir Anthony Eden (Garden of Eden)
Lord Beaverbrook (babbling brook; brook runs crystal clear)
Sir Winston Churchill? (in church hall if wet; in a church to which they’ll not return)
2 April 2021
dr desperate
Quick off the mark there, @Lux! Q1 both correct; Q2 first answer correct.
I should perhaps have mentioned that the answers to Q2 (one surname, one first name) appear undivided.
2 April 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
(Lord) Nelson (Burt)
2 April 2021
dr desperate
That’s one of them! Just the (shared) first name to get now.
2 April 2021
Lux inferior
Henry (Cooper/Rollins)?
2 April 2021
Lux inferioR
Not forgetting Lenny Henry, of course.
2 April 2021
dr desperate
Either one! Well done, both.
2 April 2021
dr desperate
Just out of (my) interest, which appropriately-named debate led to the formation of a cabinet which eventually included all three of the English historical figures not defined by Q1 and Q2?
2 April 2021
Lux inFerior
That would be the Norway Debate (Churchill, Attlee, Beaverbrook).
2 April 2021
Lux inferior
All this talk of qualifiers for the ‘82 World Cup got me reminiscing about the Finals themselves. Who can list all the players selected for their nation’s 1982 tournament squad who have also been namechecked by HMHB?
With it being Good Friday, first correct answer wins a Nick fucking Knowles LP.
2 April 2021
dr desperate
Det er riktig, @Lux.
2 April 2021
EXXO
Apropos of the Norwegian rant upon which the good doc based his quiz, I’m just watching a dull English Championship game on a Norwegian stream at the moment and the commentator just started listing notable 1970’s BCFC players out of sheer boredom. It seems to be a national commentating trait, rooted in the epic poetry of the Viking era. Commentators are trained to name a famous person on the crapper of the two sides and keep listing, increasingly emotionally, because something noteworthy has just happened, or until something noteworthy does.
2 April 2021
EXXO
My Norwegian isn’t great, but I’m sure the commentator just said this match was like watching Sheffield United’s attack play at both ends at once, against two decent defences.
How does anyone stay sane watching Championship football?
2 April 2021
mister tubbs
@ Lux Inferior – I’ve come up with 8 players from the 1982 World Cup finalists, who’ve appeared in HMHB songs, although one of them was an unused sub(Joseph Antoine Bell). The other 7 I’ve got were Zoff, Rossi, Pfaff, Arconada, Kempes, Zico and Brazil
2 April 2021
Lux inferior
@Mister Tubbs – Excellent work. When I posed the question, these were exactly the names I was looking for. However, I’m now beginning to wonder whether the Zidane referenced in ‘The Referee’s Alphabet’ is in fact Djamel Zidane, a member of the Algerian team which famously turned over West Germany in the group stages.
Anyway, in which format would you like your Nick Knowles album?
2 April 2021
EXXO
I’m suddenly very interested to know whether the format likely to be requested is commercially available (or indeed legal in the UK).
2 April 2021
mister tubbs
@Lux Inferior – Thanks for organising the quiz, I thought I must’ve missed out one or two – as you say Zidane could be the Algerian. I think Dr.Venglos was still the Czech manager for that World Cup, and if he was, I doubt he lasted much longer after their early exit. I don’t think the “Tim” referred to in San Antonio Foam Party relates to the elderly Peruvian manager of the same name.
I’d forgotten about the Nick Knowles album – I’ve not heard any of his material, but I’m guessing I haven’t missed anything. As I don’t own a gramophone these days, vinyl would probably be the ideal format!
3 April 2021
EXXO
The Road to Wembley – the Final, 2021
After faithfully posting quizzes for each round of the FA Cup up until January, I unexpectedly acquired a new job of sorts Oops, sorry. But anyway, it didn’t matter because by the end of January we were down to one HMHB-referenced team from all those who started in the various hats last autumn and winter. Chelsea. Of course, Leicestershire is also referenced, and one of our favourite contributors to this site is a massive Foxes fan, so there you go. Hope you enjoy the match, Mick!
Here then, below, is a collage of song lyrics. Bits of various lyrics by various artistes pasted together by me in honour of tomorrow’s final, in which Chelsea have won the toss to wear blue, by the way.
9 of the lyrical extracts contained here are quoted from songs by artists directly namechecked in HMHB songs, all songs which contain the word ‘Chelsea’. Then there are 3 more extracts from songs by artists kind of mentioned in HMHB songs, one directly referenced with just an initial, one referenced by a homonymous beast and one alluded to in the location of something they organise!
Then there are extracts from 3 other songs which mention Chelsea, but the artists are not referenced by HMHB. I’ve included them because they are favourites of mine. One has a Birkenhead connection, one did Peel session(s) in 1986 like HMHB, and one is by an outstanding Scottish outfit.
Then there are also quotes or paraphrases of 15 HMHB songs (name the titles without a search).
No football knowledge is needed for this quiz, as for any of my FA Cup quizzes this season, despite there being a few personalities from Leicester or Chelsea teams referred to in the collage.
Total 30 answers – 15 artists and 15 HMHB song titles.
Please don’t post any answers before 5pm on Monday. At that time, I will ask how many answers you think you have, and then request the person who thinks they have the most to kick us off.
My Knowledge of the Blues
by Exxo
Up those stone steps I climb
Hail this joyful day’s return
Feeding sugar lumps to police horses.
Blue is the colour, football is the game.
The walls are still holding memories of people who fell
Down through the years, fighting their fears
Till the blues go away.
I remember you well.
If Chelsea should gel
Wembley will be a sea of smiles.
And the mini-skirted Chris Waddle
Won’t say “lacksadaisical.”
Here they come now
See them run now
Here they come now
Chelsea!
In his twice-mentioned suburb,
A posh car driver puts on a blues CD – that’s sure to be good.
English Chelsea fan this is your last game (Hey!)
England!
Chelsea!
Go ahead now, Chelsea, go ahead now
Chelsea!
Rodgers!
But Brendan’s changed his game
Staying up for days, writing
Hair like David Hay Blues
For Samantha from the Athena posters,
For someone to drag me round Chelsea.
Gary don’t live here anymore
Gary didn’t take a dive for his second score
I reject those terms.
Chelsea lovers – they’re joined at the hip
With the power of madness at their fingertips
Because boy, know, you’re not them
Whistle blowing and blowing up again.
But Chelsea didn’t feel like following the rules.
My old dog Chelsea
Woke up on a Cropredy morning.
Z could be for Zola.
14 May 2021
EXXO
Oh yeah, there’s always an addendum, sorry, forgot to say one song quoted mentions somewhere adjacent to Chelsea, rather than Chelsea.
14 May 2021
Sean Macreavy
Blimey, that’s sterling work, Exxo old chap. Didn’t even know this quiz existed until Eddie mentioned it just now.
Cheers,
Sean
14 May 2021
dr desperate
Okay, I think I’ve got 15 HMHB lyrical quotes (counting the title). Identifying which songs they come from is a little trickier, as I’ve never really known which is which of the more whimsical Wassails and Laments – perhaps 10 out of 15.
In numerical order of the 40 lines in the poem , they occur in the title and lines 3,7, 9, 10, 12, 18, 20-21, 25, 27, 28, 30-31, 32, 39 and 40.
I’ve got 8 out of 9 of the artists directly namechecked, appearing in lines 1-2, 4, 8, 13-16, 19, 26, 33-34 and 35-36. (I had to look up half of those lyrics.)
Of the ‘kind of namechecked’ I’ve got one identified by an initial (lines 5-6) and one as a beast (22-24). There is an obvious location reference, but I can’t see how its organisers might be linked to any of the artists.
Of the ‘not namechecked’ I have the Peel band (line 29) and the Scottish one (37), but not the Birkenhead connection.
That leaves two un-namechecked artists from North America whose first names appear in HMHB songs in reference to other people, and two lines (11 and 17) which I can’t make fit into any category.
17 May 2021
EXXO
So, who reckons they have most of the answers? Tell us how many you’re sure of, first of all, before you post the answers.
After a couple of ‘bids’ I’ll ask the highest bidder (or the only bidder) for their answers. This may take an hour or two.
17 May 2021
EXXO
Our posts crossed there, Doc.
Sounds like you will be hard to beat. But if anyone reckon they may have more than that, let them say so before say 7pm. Then You can post your answers.
And I think I forgot to justify my inclusion of the ‘place’ one properly. The artist(s) in question are of course NOT mentioned by HMHB though as you know HMHB do mention the thing they organise. So I’m sure you’ve “got it” and we’ll gloss over that one.
17 May 2021
EXXO
OK Dr. D sounds like you are probably the FA Cup Final Winner. Show us what you’ve got and ignore the “woke up on a Cropredy morning” thing – I’ll explain what I forgot to say about that one.
17 May 2021
dr desperate
I’ll admit I was a bit quick off the mark there (wanted to get my post in before ‘Pointless’ came on, with a storming performance from the Wirral team). I’ll show what I’ve got in the morning in case anyone else wants to have a go in the meantime.
17 May 2021
EXXO
If you can John, please post them before about 9.15 in the morning then I’ll be able to respond before work.
17 May 2021
dr desperate
OK, we’re all together and winning is our aim, so here they come now:
My Knowledge of the Blues (HMHB, ‘Honved Fan’)
Up those stone steps I climb
Hail this joyful day’s return (Nick Cave, ‘Brompton Oratory’)
Feeding sugar lumps to police horses. (HMHB, ‘Breaking News’)
Blue is the colour, football is the game. (Chelsea FC, ‘Blue Is The Colour’)
The walls are still holding memories of people who fell
Down through the years, fighting their fears (Graham Nash [N], ‘Chelsea Hotel’)
Till the blues go away. (HMHB, ‘Pancake Day’)
I remember you well. (Leonard Cohen, ‘Chelsea Hotel #2’)
If Chelsea should gel (HMHB, ‘He Who Would Valium Take’)
Wembley will be a sea of smiles. (HMHB, Carry On Cremating’)
And the mini-skirted Chris Waddle (????)
Won’t say “lacksadaisical.” (HMHB, ‘Fear My Wraith’)
Here they come now
See them run now
Here they come now
Chelsea! (Velvets, ‘Chelsea Girls’)
In his twice-mentioned suburb, (????)
A posh car driver puts on a blues CD – that’s sure to be good (HMHB, ’24 Hour GP’)
English Chelsea fan this is your last game (Hey!) (Fall, ‘Theme From Sparta FC’)
England!
Chelsea! (HMHB, ‘Bad Wools’)
Go ahead now, Chelsea, go ahead now
Chelsea!
Rodgers! (Prince [homonymous German Shepherd], ‘Chelsea Rodgers’)
But Brendan’s changed his game (HMHB, ‘Emerging From Gorse’)
Staying up for days, writing (Dylan, ‘Sara’)
Hair like David Hay Blues (HMHB, ‘Brian May’)
For Samantha from the Athena posters, (HMHB, ‘Sensitive Outsider’)
For someone to drag me round Chelsea. (Mighty Mighty [Peel], ‘Is There Anyone
Out There?’)
Gary don’t live here anymore
Gary didn’t take a dive for his second score (HMHB, Soft Verges’)
I reject those terms. (HMHB, ‘Fear My Wraith’ again)
Chelsea lovers – they’re joined at the hip
With the power of madness at their fingertips (Dave Stewart, ‘Chelsea Lovers’)
Because boy, know, you’re not them
Whistle blowing and blowing up again. (Thurston Moore, Detonation’)
But Chelsea didn’t feel like following the rules. (Belle & Sebastian [Scottish], ‘She’s
Losing It’)
My old dog Chelsea (Lou Reed*, ‘Families’)
Woke up on a Cropredy morning. (Joni Mitchell**, ‘Chelsea Morning’)
Z could be for Zola. (HMHB, ‘Referee’s Alphabet)
**As mentioned above, ‘Cropredy’ (from ‘Tommy Walsh’s Eco House’) is organised by Fairport Convention, who aren’t namechecked. Neither is Joni, but she did have an album called ‘Blue’.
*Lou Reed isn’t namechecked, so the only connection I can make between him and Birko is via Central Park, NY, based on Birkenhead Park, Birkenhead.
(It’s a long time since Nigel changed ‘Transformer’ in ‘DPAK’ to the name of a different Loopy Lou album.)
Another exxcellent quiz! I’ll cheer it on through the sun and rain.
18 May 2021
EXXO
Another absolute triumph, Doc! Your finishing combines the power of Tielemans, Iheanacho and Vardy in one explosive package! Y Truly your quizzing is champagne-fizzing, and you leave only two questions to be answered, one of them Chelsea-related and surely an open goal for someone, the other Leicester-related (there were actually 16 HMHB songs if you include the title).
1. My Knowledge of the Blues The title refers to HMHB’s Teenage Armchair Honved Fan
2. Up those stone steps I climb
Hail this joyful day’s return Quotes Nick Cave’s Brompton Oratory (Brompton Road and Brompton Cemetery are so adjacent to Chelsea in my mind and in my memories that I forgot the song doesn’t mention Chelsea). I used to live very near Stamford Bridge for a while, and walked to my course at Chelsea College through Brompton cemetery).
3. Feeding sugar lumps to police horses. Refers to HMHB’s ‘Breaking News’
4. Blue is the colour, football is the game Quotes Chelsea FC’s ‘Blue is the colour’ which because it reached number 5 in May 1970 means they count as a musical artiste rather requiring than any sort of football knowledge
5. The walls are still holding memories of people who fell
Down through the years, fighting their fears Quotes Graham Nash’s ‘Chelsea Hotel’ Nash referred to by initial in “CSNY” in ‘Depressed Beyond Tablets.’
6. Till the blues go away. Refers to HMHB’s ‘If I had Possession over Pancake Day’
7. I remember you well Len, of course – he’s the dog’s.
8. If Chelsea should gel Refers to HMHB’s ‘He who would valium take.’
9. Wembley will be a sea of smiles. Refers to HMHB’s ‘Carry on Cremating.’
10. And the mini-skirted Chris Waddle ????????
11. Won’t say “lacksadaisical.” Refers to ‘Fear My Wraith’ by HMHB
12. Here they come now
See them run now
Here they come now
Chelsea! Quotes ‘Chelsea Girls’ written by some Velvets for Nico.
13. In his twice-mentioned suburb, a posh car driver ????
14. puts on a blues CD – that’s sure to be good. Refers to HMHB’s ’24H GP.’
15. English Chelsea fan this is your last game (Hey!)
16. England!
Chelsea! Refers to HMHB’s ‘R&R is Full of Bad Wools’
17. Go ahead now, Chelsea, go ahead now
Chelsea! Rodgers! Quotes Chelsea Rodgers by Prince (because the one called Sheba died).
18. But Brendan’s changed his game Refers to HMHB’s ‘Emerging from Gorse.’
19. Staying up for days, writing Happy Birthday Bob Dylan – from the wonderful ‘Sara.’
20. Hair like David Hay Blues Refers to HMHB’s ‘Hair like Brian May Blues’ (and to an old Chelsea star of the 70’s)
21. For Samantha from the Athena posters – refers to HMHB’s ‘Sensitive Outsider and honorary Leicester City FC fox, Samantha Fox (I mean my version of the line refers to her – Nigel B’s doesn’t!)
22. For someone to drag me round Chelsea. This was the hardest one because as far as I can see the lyrics aren’t available anywhere online. But this was one of my favourite songs in the 1986 Festive Fifty. Well done Doc – Mighty Mighty it was.
23. “Gary don’t live here anymore.” Refers to HMHB’s ‘Soft Verges.’ In my collage it refers to Fox in the Box Gary ‘Leicester City underpants’ Lineker, of course
“Gary didn’t take a dive for his second score.” In my collage it refers to the second penalty v. Cameroon in 1990, but that doesn’t matter at all.
24. I reject those terms. Refers to HMHB’s ‘Prag Vec at the Melkweg’ and Fox in the box Bobby ‘Leicester City oven gloves’ Svarc.
25. Chelsea lovers – they’re joined at the hip
With the power of madness at their fingertips Quotes Dave Stewart’s ‘Chelsea Lovers.’
26. Because boy, know, you’re not them
Whistle blowing and blowing up again Qutes Thurston Moore’s cursed and sore ‘Detonation.’
27. But Chelsea didn’t feel like following the rules. Belle and Sebastian ‘She’s Losing It.’
28. My old dog Chelsea Quotes Lou reed, not the Velvets but hey, errm, he was in the Velvets (sorry got a bit careless at the end of the quizzy collage with 28 and 29).
29. woke up on a Cropredy morning. Shouldn’t have included this, sorry, But Joni Mitchell’s (woke up on a) ‘Chelsea Morning’ was first recorded, even before she did, ed Fairport Convention who organise the Cropredy Festival as mentioned in HMHB’s ‘Tommy Walsh’s Eco House.
30. Z could be for Zola. Refers to HMHB’s ‘Referee’s Alhabet.’
18 May 2021
EXXO
So the unanswered ones are numbered 10 and 13 (in bold) above.
18 May 2021
dr desperate
I was a bit unlucky with Number 13 – if it’s nothing to do with Chelsea, then it obviously refers to the Merc-driving Robert of Blaby (Blaby’s in Leicestershire).
18 May 2021
IDIOT SAUL
Well played Doc (and Leicester City).
Thanks for the quiz Exxo.
Q.10 ‘there’s no place here for the mini-skirt waddle’. Elvis Costello.
(I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea.
18 May 2021
transit full of keith
Must admit I lost my way half through the instructions to this one … well done Doctor D.
The hill I will die on though is that Samantha is not from a poster, but a girl who worked in the Athena shop, where Sensitive Outsider would regularly moon around trying to pluck up the courage to ask her out.
18 May 2021
dr desperate
Oh well Costelloed, @Saul, and there’s our Birkenhead connection! I was wondering why I’d been singing ‘Little Triggers’ to myself all day (three tracks back on ‘This Year’s Model’).
I may have been misWaddled by the recollection of Exxo’s glee at once predicting correctly that the Chanel 9 favourite was about to say ‘lacksadaisical’.
18 May 2021
EXXO
Totally agree Keith. You won’t die on that hill if I can help it. I’ll give you covering fire from a few miles back, and am seriously considering buying a drone.
18 May 2021
EXXO
I have a vaguely similar but much easier one coming up for this Friday, as a ‘thank you’ to the good people of Temporaryfanshire.
I would find it hard to make the instructions for this one as baffling, Keith, but doubtless I’ll contrive to misinstruct and misle you somehow.
18 May 2021
EXXO
This week’s quiz is hardly HMHB-themed at all, but I
thought it might entertain a few folks off the ‘Temporary Fandoms’ FB group who have hosted us so graciously these past 3 weeks.
So please read the following piece of verse and see how many recording artists, other than those named in the lyrics, you can find quotes from or allusions to (only about half the lines in the piece contain such quotes or allusions). It was originally written to introduce “a minute’s noise” at a Peel day gig on the first anniversary of his passing.
I think what we’ll do with this one is just ask you to mull over your answers till 5pm Monday, then I’ll give the answers. No winners, just an honesty box then for how many you got if you like.
Marvelous Radio
In radio’s fat, controlled new order,
The man they couldn’t ever hang
Said ‘bin the play-list, stuff your A-list
We don’t need this fascist groove thang’.
The teen spirit was boredom, we were in a rut
Deathly disco in complete control
We needed someone to smash it up
Some wonderful radio for our dead souls.
I remember lying in bed, cover over my head
Radio playing so no-one could see.
He changed things fast, or made things last,
Made things not all sound the same to me.
He played the Damned, he played the banned,
Spiral scratched transmissions from Uncle John.
Festive fifty, party Forty, The Fall at thirty,
Anarchy or Atmosphere at number one
For part-time punks wanting clashes and riots
He gave us a Trumpton riot of our own.
He added reggae and dub to our musical diets
Brought African music into my home.
He nipped out for a butty, talked about footy,
The odd song ended before he got back.
A bit of dead air? So what, we didn’t care!
Give us the wrong speed or the wrong track.
Sheila take a bow! How soon is now ?
He promoted what deserved to be promoted.
William your dad was really something
Devoted to what a man should be devoted.
A friend electric who was always so eclectic
From Oh Superman to Yellowman ;
The Cult and integrity, not the cult of celebrity,
Bands were common people, fans were fellow man.
From Top of the Pops to Roadshow bops
It’s a mighty long way down rock and roll.
He did loads of voice-overs and BFBS
But he never sold his doggone soul.
From Tricky to Kenickie, Peel was picky;
He liked miserable sods like David Gedge;
Like Wedding Present and Cinerama,
It had to have a cutting edge.
From that whistling bloke to Killing Joke
I never met anyone who liked every track.
Was ‘The Pig’s 78’ just eccentric, or great ?
Dunno, but it did stand out from the pack.
Until a holiday in the sun tore us apart.
I’d never felt more like Pickin’ the Blues
Than when we lost that charming man.
Whose records and sessions became obsessions
Whose home truths helped me understand.
But on old cassettes, his voice still rings out
He’ll abide with me, I’ll walk alone never.
There’s a ghost in my house and it never goes out
Bringing me teenage kicks forever.
So from the Three Johns to the Three Mustaphas Three
From the Cuban Boys to the Bhundu Boys
In raucous celebration of his memory
Let’s have a spontaneous Minute’s Noise !
21 May 2021
EXXO
Doh I knew I could find a way to confuse you in the instructions.
Draw a line through ‘in the lyrics.’ Just “other than those explicitly named.”
21 May 2021
EXXO
OK the answers – about 40 points available, one for each of the things in bold you thought of as you read the piece, so there are 5 different points for The Smiths of course. Anyone get over 30?
1. Marvelous Radio Elvis Costello reference of course
In radio’s fat, controlled new order, The Fat Controller was Peel’s ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ nickname for his boss
The man they couldn’t ever hang The Men they Couldn’t Hang
Said ‘bin the play-list, stuff your A-list
We don’t need this fascist groove thang’ Heaven 17
The teen spirit was boredom, we were in a rutNirvana, Buzzcocks, The Ruts
Deathly disco in complete control PIL, The Clash
We needed someone to smash it up The Damned
Some wonderful radio for our dead souls. Elvis Costello, Joy Division
I remember lying in bed, cover over my head The whole verse is from the Ramones
Radio playing so no-one could see.
He changed things fast, or made things last,
Made things not all sound the same to me.
He played the Damned, he played the banned, Played God Save the Queen when banned
Spiral scratched transmissions from Uncle John. Buzzcocks
Festive fifty, party Forty, The Fall at thirty,
Anarchy or Atmosphere at number one Pistols, Joy Div
For part-time punks wanting clashes and riots TV personalities, The Clash
He gave us a Trumpton riot of our own. HMHB
He added reggae and dub to our musical diets
Brought African music into my home.
He nipped out for a butty, talked about footy,
The odd song ended before he got back.
A bit of dead air? So what, we didn’t care!
Give us the wrong speed or the wrong track.
Sheila take a bow! How soon is now ? Smiths, Smiths
He promoted what deserved to be promoted.
William your dad was really something Smiths
Devoted to what a man should be devoted. minus one point if you didn’t look twice and wonder if there was an allusion to either Devo or Devoto!!
A friend electric who was always so eclectic Gary Numan
From Oh Superman to Yellowman ; Laurie Anderson
The Cult and integrity, not the cult of celebrity,
Bands were common people, fans were fellow man. Pulp
From Top of the Pops to Roadshow bops
It’s a mighty long way down rock and roll. Ian Hunter and Billy Bragg
He did loads of voice-overs (HMHB 😀 ) and BFBS
But he never sold his doggone soul. Any version of Shake, Rattle & Roll
From Tricky to Kenickie, Peel was picky;
He liked miserable sods like David Gedge;
Like Wedding Present and Cinerama,
It had to have a cutting edge.
From that whistling bloke to Killing Joke Ronnie Ronalde the whistler
I never met anyone who liked every track.
Was ‘The Pig’s 78’ just eccentric, or great ?
Dunno, but it did stand out from the pack.
Until a holiday in the sun tore us apart. Pistols, Joy Div
I’d never felt more like Pickin’ the Blues Grinderswich – Peel’s theme tune
Than when we lost that charming man. Smiths
Whose records and sessions became obsessions
Whose home truths helped me understand.Home Truths on BBC Radio4
But on old cassettes, his voice still rings out
He’ll abide with me, I’ll walk alone never. These 2 songs were sung at Peel’s funeral (the latter sung by the Anfield Kop of course)
There’s a ghost in my house and it never goes out Fall, Smiths
Bringing me teenage kicks forever. The Undertones
So from the Three Johns to the Three Mustaphas Three
From the Cuban Boys to the Bhundu Boys
In raucous celebration of his memory
Let’s have a spontaneous Minute’s Noise !
24 May 2021
dr desperate
I would have got 32 except for the Devo/to minus 1 (and the Dr Desperate minus 10).
I might claim an extra point for the title of the 2006 compilation album ‘John Peel – Right Time, Wrong Speed’.
24 May 2021
EXXO
Euro 2020/21 Quiz
Round One, Part One
Each of the following clues refers to something, someone or somewhere referenced in a HMHB song, and each of them represents one of the 24 countries in Euro 2020/21. Some clues might seem to have more than one possibility, but there is only one combination where they each represent a different country, so there is really only one ‘correct’ answer for each. Unlike the FA cup quizzes, there is a touch of footballing knowledge required here, especially as regards names. Don’t post any answers until Monday afternoon please.
His country’s most famous visual artist
A blonde in overalls
A bronzed beauty
A spider
The thing tourists bring back from this country most often
A dusky defender
An athlete
The nickname of a national football team
A national football team
A major
A pass
A lachrymose leader
A surfing resort
A welcoming message
A giant sportswoman
A mislaid author (represents this country due to his ancestors’ origins)
The southern sea
A Nobel Prize winner
A manufacturing facility
A musician born about 3 weeks before Nigel Blackwell.
The singer of a 1982 number one
The A-Z of number ones?
The location of a release featuring more than one artist?
A meaningless city?
The 24 countries as you know are:
Group A: Turkey, Italy, Wales, Switzerland
Group B: Denmark, Finland, Belgium, Russia
Group C: Netherlands, Ukraine, Austria, North Macedonia
Group D: England, Croatia, Scotland, Czech Republic
Group E: Spain, Sweden, Poland, Slovakia
Group F: Hungary, Portugal, France, Germany
11 June 2021
EXXO
Oh yes, I forgot to say that in order to cover all 24 countries, one of the references is not from a HMHB song but from HMHB album sleeve.
11 June 2021
EXXO
Euro 2020/21 Quiz
Round One, Part TWO – the predictions
These clues are only related to the above ones in a few cases. They refer, in random non-chronological order, to my predicted results for each of the first 12 matches, starting tonight and up to an including next Tuesday’s games. A subtraction will give you the margin of victory, and a result of zero means I predict a draw.
For example if one clue was “The number of letters in the town of the painful injury, minus the number of letters in the act being paid tribute to,” and if you knew that Norway were playing Israel, you might conclude that it was Stavanger (9) minus Cher (4) and that I was predicting a 5-goal margin for Norway.
The fixtures are :
Group A: Turkey v Italy, Wales v Switzerland
Group B: Denmark v Finland, Belgium v Russia
Group C: Netherlands v Ukraine, Austria v North Macedonia
Group D: England v Croatia, Scotland v Czech Republic
Group E: Spain v Sweden, Poland v Slovakia
Group F: Hungary v Portugal, France v Germany
1. The number of letters in an island resort named by HMHB in this country, minus the number of letters in a city named by HMHB in the other.
2. Three footballers from this nation are named in HMHB lyrics. Add the total number of letters in their three surnames, then add the number of letters in the name of the only band of this nationality named in HMHB lyrics (the exact form of the name as given in the lyrics). For their opponents, two of their nationals appear to be contained in HMHB lyrics. Add together the number of letters in those two words, then subtract from the former.
3. The number of letters in the affectionate defender’s adjective minus the number of letters in the famous inventor’s surname mentioned by HMHB.
4. Number of letters in the divided single city minus the number of letters in the colour of the pointer.
5. Number of letters in the author’s surname minus the number of letters in the famous concert venue.
6. HMHB mention a singer who sounds like an insect-infested northern river – he gave two descriptions of the temperature in the capital city of this country. Both of his words have the same number of letters. So take that number, minus the number of letters in the word on the sleeve that describes the nature of the weeping of the supposed former leader of the other nation.
7. Take the number of letters in the city where hebdominal modishness can catch you unawares. Then subtract the number of letters in the shortest band name from their opponents’ country (out of at least three bands from this country that are namechecked by HMHB).
8. The number of letters in the name, as printed on the shirts, of the team from this countrynamed by HMHB. Minus the number of letters in the type of manufacturing facility in the other country.
9. The number of letters in the city of bronze, minus the number of letters in the surname of the man at the wheel.
10. The number of towns that have a HMHB-named pass named after them in this country, named after the number of towns in their opponents’ country that do.
11. The number of letters in the band name of the rockers of this nationality, minus the number of letters in the means of transport to suicide city.
12. The number of letters in the nationality of the team that’s widely expected to clean up, minus the number of letters in the colour of their opponents’ famous spider.
No answers till Monday afternoon please. Who knows, as many as two or three of you may want to have a go by then!
11 June 2021
EXXO
Wouldn’t be an Exxo quiz if there wasn’t a mistake or typo. I’ll re-phrase #10
10. The number of towns that have a HMHB-referenced pass named after them in this country, minus the number of towns in their opponents’ country that do.
11 June 2021
EXXO
Also forgot to say that as well as one clue in both parts of the quiz referring to an album sleeve, one clue in both parts refers to live versions of a HMHB song, which have expanded on the song’s reference to a person by mentioning a place associated with that person’s lyrics.
11 June 2021
EXXO
Well, yes, no doubt now what ‘rhetorical’ means.
Answers FWIW to Part One
A musician born between the births of Neil and Nigel . Yngwie Malmsteen – SWEDEN
This country’s most famous visual artist – Magritte – BELGIUM
A blonde in overalls – Mikkola – FINLAND
A bronzed beauty – that quite disappointing statue – DENMARK
A spider – black spider Lev Yashin – RUSSIA
The thing tourists bring back from that country most often – Turkish delight
A dusky defender – referee’s alphabet – PORTUGAL
An athlete – Zatopek – CZECH
The nickname of a national football team – the Azzurri – ITALY
A national football team – ENGLAND
A major – Ferrenc Puskas – HUNGARY
A pass – Dukla – SLOVAKIA
A lachrymose leader – Alexander of MACEDONIA (see CSIA inlay)
A surfing resort – BIARRITZ – FRANCE
A welcoming message – that doormat – WALES
A giant sportswoman – giant slalom’s Vrni Schneider – SWITZ
a mislaid author (ancestors’ origins) – Chomsky – Ukraine
The southern sea – Zuidersee – NETHERLANDS
A nobel prize winner – Lech W – POLAND
A manufacturing facility – the Oban distillery – SCOTLAND
The singer of a 1982 number one – Goombay DB fella – GERMANY
The A-Z of number ones – Arconada & Zubizarretta – SPAIN
The location of a release featuring more than one artist? – SPLIT SINGLE – CROATIA
A meaningless city? VIENNA (in live versions of Gwatkin) – Austria
25 June 2021
EXXO
‘Tumbleweed Connection’ was the soundtrack to this quiz.
Answers to Part Two.
1. The number of letters in an island resort, minus the number of letters in a city.
MAGALUF minus MALMO = I predicted Spain to beat Sweden by two (it finished 0-0)
2. Three footballers from this nation are named in HMHB lyrics. Add the number of letters in their three surnames, add the number of letters in the name of the only band of this nationality named in HMHB lyrics (the exact form of the name as given in the lyrics). For their opponents, two of their nationals appear to be contained in HMHB lyrics. Add together the number of letters in those two words, then subtract from the former.
ZOLA+ZOFF+ROSSI+PFM= 16 minus TURKish +TURKeyed = 15 I predicted Italy to win by one, and they in fact won by three.
3. The number of letters in the affectionate defender’s adjective minus the number of letters in the famous inventor’s surname mentioned by HMHB.
SWARTHY=7 minus BIRO=4 = I predicted Portugal to win by three. Portugal won by three.
4. Number of letters in the divided single city minus the number of letters in the colour of the pointer.
SPLIT=5 minus BROWN=5 (brown sign pointing to England’s crudest, sorry but I wanted to make a particularly difficult clue for one of the England references in the lyrics) = I predicted a draw between Croatia and England, but the latter won by one.
5. Number of letters in the author’s surname minus the number of letters in the famous concert venue.
CHOMSKY(7) minus MELKWEG (7) I predicted a draw between Ukraine & Netherlands but the latter won by one (I was robbed)
6. The number of letters in either of the two descriptions of the temperature in the city of the insect-infested northern river, minus the number of letters in the word that describes the nature of the weeping of the leader.
COOL or COLD (both used by Midge – insect Ure – river to describe ah Vienna in Austria so anyway 4 letters minus SALT(4) tears of Alexander (see CSI cover) so I predicted a draw between Austria and Macedonia but the former won 3-1
7. Take the number of letters in the city where hebdominal modishness can find you unawares. Then subtract the number of letters in the shortest band name from this country (out of at least three bands from this country that are namechecked by HMHB).
PARIS (5) Fashion week minus CAN (3) = France to win by 2. They won by one.
8. The number of letters in the name, as printed on the shirts, of the team named by HMHB. Minus the number of letters in the type of manufacturing facility.
DUKLA PRAHA (10) minus DISTILLERY (10) again I predicted a draw, but Czech beat Scots2-0
9. The number of letters in the city of bronze, minus the number of letters in the surname of the man at the wheel.
COPENHAGEN (10) minus MIKKOLA (7) Without that whole episode I’m sure Denmark would have won by three but alas they lost by one.
10. The number of towns that have a HMHB-named pass named after them in this country, named after the number of towns in their opponents’ country that do.
Poland has one town called Dukla, giving the pass its name. Slovakia just has the pass. I predicted Poles to win by one but they lost by one.
11. The number of letters in the rockers of this nationality, minus the number of letters in the means of transport to suicide city.
MAN(3) welsh rockers minus TGV (3) to Zurich = I correctly predicted a draw.
12. The number of letters in the nationality of the team that’s widely expected to clean up, minus the number of letters in the colour of the spider.
BELGIAN(7) minus BLACK(5) Lev Yashin black spider = I predicted a 3 goal win for Belgium but the Russian defence was one goal shitter than I expected.
25 June 2021
EXXO
I was hoping to grab comment number 44444 for this quiz but a meeting took longer than expected.
As usual tell us how many you reckon you got without your search engine but don’t say any answers yet.
Anyway four questions for 44445.
1. The fourth line of HMHB’s fourth song paraphrases which play?
2. The fourth song on HMHB’s fourth album is about a 4 by 400 metre relay runner. Which part of that statement is false?
3. Which four by four might congratulate the match officials?
4. Multiply the number of indie kids by the number of Lads who shook the Wirral then multiply by the day in August when I had a dream. Then divide by the number of the golf club in Montgomery and divide again by the number of players in the golf game in ‘Our Tune.’ Result?
12 August 2021
EXXO
Another bit of arithmetical guesswork which may just appeal to someone else, though probably not as much as it does to me.
Divide the number of comments on this site – now 44446 – by the number of different words used in HMHB songs. This includes proper nouns, abbreviations and hyphenated words – just all the different words written as they are in Chris’ version of the lyrics. Not the total number of words, but the number of different words.
What is the approximate answer?
a)40
b)50
c)14
d)15
e) 4
f) 5
12 August 2021
Lord leominster
Exxo, I knew you were a words person but it turns out that you are a numbers person too. 44 is, without doubt, the best number ever invented / discovered so I am enjoying your 44,444 based quiz. I have some ideas but am stumped on a couple of clues. I look forward to seeing the answers.
14 August 2021
dr desperate
I’ve got four answers, but as I have never known the running order of album releases or tracklists, one is pure guesswork (as is my answer to the supplementary).
16 August 2021
EXXO
Show us what you reckon then Doc, and may the fours be with you.
16 August 2021
dr desperate
1. I’m guessing this was ‘Sealclubbing’, and the line about “If music be the food of love” from ‘Twelfth Night’.
2. Similarly, Dick Quax from ‘ALHQ’?? I don’t know which part of the statement’s false: possibly all of them. Multiply the 10 at the end of his name by 50 to get Quad.
3. On firmer ground with the offside-applauding Land Rover Defender, one of which I used to own.
4. All the answers are 4, making the final solution also 4.
16 August 2021
EXXO
An excellent 3 out of 4 Doc, and although number 2 is wide of the mark in all respects, you can have a bonus point, as your brutal numerals appeal to me.
What was your guess for the bonus question?
16 August 2021
dr desperate
I assume the total number of words (205 songs with a couple of hundred words each) is similar to the number of comments, so it’s a question of how many are different. NB and NC’s vocabulary and range of subjects are higher than your average novelist, so I’d guess 15.
16 August 2021
EXXO
The question was a vehicle of course for an amazing factoid, a truly stunning, amazing factoid in this era of overuse of words like ‘amazing,’ and ‘stunning’. That factoid is that as Chris lists them* there appear to be 8,043 different words in the lyrics of HMHB in those 205 songs so far, including all placenames, first and second names separately, road numbers, abbreviations, swearwords, hyphenated compounds and different variations on the same word stem.
One day soon I will calculate how many real actual dictionary words there are in the canon, but it is more than any other recorded artist ever, one would surely not doubt?
So the answer is approximately 5, though nearer 5.5
16 August 2021
EXXO
Recorded musical artist, I mean.
Even Shakespeare only used 31,000 different words including names, placenames, etc.
Only ;-D
16 August 2021
EXXO
* forgot the inevitable asterisk.
I only found the ‘list’ by accident while googling something else. The list was apparently generated when Chris contributed those 8,043 terms to the database on lyrics.com. (may be wrong – Chris?) Would be interesting to know by what percentage their number of searchable terms increased when Chris donated Mr. B’s lexicon.
16 August 2021
Chris The Siteowner
I’d be even more interested, Exxo. Firstly, I’ve never contributed anything to lyrics.com (or any other site), although it seems several have painstakingly copied the lyrics from here. Secondly, I just went to that site and couldn’t find any entries for HMHB. I’d be curious to see the links!
16 August 2021
EXXO
Sorry, yes, as soon as I posted that I realised I was adding 2+2 and making five point million . I am the most ‘edit’ button of edit buttony persons in history as you know.
So I was googling for something or other on Thursday for the quiz about ‘four’, looking for mentions of four, forty four, etc in the lyrics. Used the site’s internal search engine. And I came across a list of all those 8043 words, all underlined like links, and it seemed to have something to do with lyrics.com, but actually no I checked with an otherwise un-sung about item – I’m sure everyone would choose A552 as I naturally did – and nothing comes up on there.
So apologies. Ignore all that except that there seem to be an amazing 8043 words.
16 August 2021
EXXO
OK, I see what happened now.
I found this
https://halfmanhalfbiscuit.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/occurs-elsewhere.html
Then I clicked on one of the links and it took me to a list of results in which lyrics.com was prominent.
Then in the meantime I spent 48 hours watching far too many footy streams and it addled my brain, so all the 2+2=5 stuff.
Apologies again.
16 August 2021
Lord leominster
For completeness I got
1. Right playwright wrong play.
2. Had to cheat by checking which was fourth song on fourth album, reading the lyrics on this site, finding the name that made sense, googling that name which led me to the right answer.
3. Managed to think of ‘if I were a linesman’ and in a separate approach to the problem thought of ‘Land Rover’ but somehow didn’t put them together.
4. Didn’t spot that ‘club’ meant ‘bat’ (and not ‘association’) so failed to make the connection. Obviously it was going to be a four.
5. Got the tie-breaker based on a guess following googling the number of words in English language then ideally we’d want the answer to be 4 but annoyingly it would be 5 otherwise why offer it as a choice?
So no points pre-google and not many more afterwards.
16 August 2021
EXXO
Good effort Lord Dogheart (Richard coeur de chien), 4th song on 4th album is Meltonian, which mentions 4 x 100 metre runner Sonia Lanaman.
17 August 2021
lord leominster
Dogheart. I geddit.
17 August 2021
EXXO
This quiz takes you from sea to shining sea, following the clues in a musical gold rush across the United States of America.
Each clue gives you state which borders the previous one*. We cross the continent from ocean to ocean once, and then back again, and in the process we also make a north-south journey from Gulf to Great Lakes.
[*The only exception is when we reach the ocean and start back again – those two states are not adjacent.]
1. Tupac murder suspect murdered here
2. No Tesco here, but a man has just discovered that I shot a man here, just to watch him die.
3. He treats the famous inhabitants of this state with equal disdain.
4. Does this state have a city “strewn between?” Nanu nanu.
5. At nineties gigs, Nigel Blackwell was often inspired by a song set in this state, singing that “I am the linesman for Notts County…”
6. The state song here was written by a songsmith who has lent at least two tunes to HMHB. And his cousin.
7. Tea for one?
8. “Terrible song?” I don’t agree personally, but the singer’s from the state and in the name.
9. The brakeman’s state.
10. A new song’s electric protagonist frazzles here.
11. Tea for two?
12. It takes a worried man to sing a worried song at the family fold, by daddy’s general store.
13. “I’ve been upstream” seems to be a film reference, set in this state.
14. Does the state capitol have a chandler’s shop?
15. The original city limits are nearer to Interstate 40 than the M6.
16. Location that inspired the crossroads in ‘Hair Like Brian May Blues.’
17. Singer of 18 was at home here
18. Where the bluesman first got the inspiration to sound like that at the depot.
19. Where Old Tige was born.
20. Likewise the singer who made HMHB’s most famous pilgrimage
21. Likewise the band who stood in for Black Lace’s song.
22. Lord Hereford’s Knob is technically a mountain in UK terms, but you can park the car and walk up in fifteen minutes so it’s really more of a hill. If it were a hill in the USA, it would probably be in this state.
23. To the west, Brokeback Mountain.
24. Not the same state as question 3, but the largest denomination here are still likely to be treated with equal disdain in Prenton.
25. Finally the Sub-Pop exiled noisenik is home.
9 October 2021
EXXO
As the trails intersect, four states appear twice in the quiz. Unsurprising as they are the cradles of most US popular musical traditions.
9 October 2021
EXXO
No answers before Tuesday afternoon please, just in case more than one person wants to have a go.
CtSO please feel free to combine my posts.
9 October 2021
EXXO
Anyone want to have a go at plotting the 25-state route, all joined by road to the previous one except at 12 & 13, where the states share a seabord? 4 states appear twice.
Where’s that featureless TV producer when you need him?
13 October 2021
dr desperate
If you leave it out a couple more days I’ll have a crack (been a bit busy this week).
13 October 2021
John Anderson
I’ve had a go Exxo. I think I got most of them but got abit stuck after Interstate 40. I’m not very good on old Blues men I’m afraid.
1 California 2 Nevada 3 Utah
4 Colorado 5 Kansas 6 Oklahoma 7 Texas 8 Louisiana 9 Mississippi 10 Alabama 11 Tennessee 15 Tennessee 16 Mississippi 23 Wyoming 24 Idaho 25 Washington
13 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Where’s that featureless TV producer? He got as far as Colorado, and has been staring out at the Great Plains for two days having no idea where to turn.
He finally saw another clue he knew at 23, so he turned north and scampered back home to the Pacific Northwest.
13 October 2021
PAUL F
With a bit of research and much doubling back I have a full set of answers, albeit with one educated guess, plus another answer which relies on the educated guess plus a knowledge of geography, rather than any understanding of the clue.
13 October 2021
EXXO
I’m absolutely made up* FTVP Steve that you had a go, even more made up* that you got lost in Colorado, but less so that you are clearly not a Glen Campbell fan. *Imagine grrrr-face-not-loving-the-Wichita-lineman emoji*
And bravo John A. for the 16 points!! Great effort. Paul I will trust you to tell me that you got all the ones John got and please do fire away with the remaining 9. A degree of bafflement is par for the course, especially if you’re talking about number 22.
Time waits for no man, least of all Dr. D when it comes to a rare chance to beat him in a quiz.
*In case you were baffled Steve that we would put on lipstick and mascara for the above reasons, made up where we come from means “delighted.” But I have put on the lipstick and mascara anyway.
13 October 2021
EXXO
By the way, people winning quizzes where Dr. D was unable to take part reminds me it’s only about two months now till the HMHB-Xmas(quite-like)-Only-Connect Zoom Special and The-Donny-Osmond’s-House-of-Games(-a-bit-like-the- Richard-Osman-show) New Year Zoom Special.
13 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
I remember singing “Rhinestone Cowboy” on my bicycle-to-school scheme back in the mid-70s. That is the extent of my knowledge of Glen Campbell.
So are you going to explain all the clues when you reveal the answers? And will there be a chance for rebuttal for those of us who think different clues would have been better?
13 October 2021
EXXO
Well, yes, and yes, but different clues will always suit different people and sometimes the clues have to be deliberately inelegant, or the consummately elegant Dr. D will just sweep all before him like Hannibal crossing the Rockies with his elephants (there are only 13 Romes in the USA but there are 15 Carthages). Besides I got fed up with nobody answering the quizzes and just made up some daft clues.
With reference to your hesitation on the state line of Colorado and not realising Interstate 70 was the way to go, of course I shouldn’t have said “Glen Campbell fan,” but “Jimmy Webb fan” (the songwriter of Wichita Lineman rather than the singer). It’s probably the greatest ever song about a man working up a pole, moaning about his job and kind of expecting a medal, and needing someone more than wanting them, despite wanting them for all time (whatever the fuck that means), but it has some of the most original chord changes in C&W ever. When Nigel was messing about between songs at HMHB gigs in the nineties, he often parodied the iconic opening line “I am a lineman for the county” as “I am am the linesman for Notts County,” though probably not as often as I remember. It’s not a inclusive clue, granted, but more interesting than saying that the vendor of quack nostrums was born in a shack there.
OK, you’re right. I should have just said that the vendor of quack nostrums was born in a shack there.
13 October 2021
EXXO
Not sure where the Hannibal-Carthage-Rome metaphor came from either in that last comment. Apologies to Dr. D and to all who abhor stray metaphors which have no relevance to the quiz or to anything really.
13 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Ha, that would have made it much easier, yes. Glen Campbell indeed.
But I was specifically thinking more of California. I would have preferred an elegant Yosemite-related clue (like the punster favourite “Don’t take it for granite!”) rather than the Tupac reference, but as you said, different clues will suit different people.
On a related note, one of our new order entry systems at work has a field that asks for the “Vendor QN” (quote number) and every time I see it I get the New York Skiffle caught in my head for a while. It’s not the worst thing.
13 October 2021
paul f
12, 13, 14 are Virginia, Georgia, Alabama. Although I was lucky getting Virginia, in that I relistened to the Kershaw podcast to get the answer to question 10, and Nigel mentions Virginia in relation to the Carter Family in the chat immediately preceding.
17, 18, 19 are Louisiana, Arkansas (although I needed a bit of research to find the origins of Rock Island Line) and Missouri (ditto on Old Tige).
I landed on Iowa for 20 following my discovery that Husker Du were from Minnesota (21) and Iowa was the only route. I then felt very stupid for not working out the clue was Slipknot. 22 was presumably a Mount Rushmore reference.
So for 25, I’m assuming the Sub Pop reference makes it Washington, but don’t fully understand your clue. Which means 24 must be Idaho. Having given that one some more thought, am I correct in assuming the “equal disdain” clue is due to the fact that most Idaho-based NFL fans would be Seattle Seahawks fans (or “Hawkers”)?
14 October 2021
EXXO
Well played Paul. I’ll declare you joint winner with John A, but see 22, 24 & 25 below for my twisted reasoning on those clues.
1. Tupac murder suspect murdered here Tupac murdered in Las Vegas Nevada but his suspected murderer slain in L.A. CALIFORNIA (I wasn’t sure where the murder suspect’s murderer was murdered, but I suspect it was the same)
2. No Tesco here, but a man has just discovered that I shot a man here, just to watch him die. I shot a man in Reno (Folsom Prison Blues – Johnny Cash – ‘L’enfer c’est les Autres’) NEVADA
3. He treats the famous inhabitants of this state with equal disdain. How the ‘Man of Constant Sorrow’ treats door-to-door Mormon missionaries, who are mostly from UTAH
4. Does this state have a city “strewn between?” Boulder, home of Mork and Mindy in COLARADO – boulders strewn between in ‘Evening of Swing.’
5. At nineties gigs, Nigel Blackwell was often inspired by a song set in this state, singing that “I am the linesman for Notts County…” parody of The Wichita Lineman – KANSAS
6. The state song here was written by a songsmith who has lent at least two tunes to HMHB. And his cousin. Woody Guthrie jointly wrote OKLAHOMA’s state song, as well as the tunes for ‘Blood on the Quad’ and (partly) ‘Ready Steady Goa.’
7. Tea for one? T for TEXAS in ‘A Country Practice’
8. “Terrible song?” I don’t agree personally, but the singer’s from the state and in the name.
Hey Louis, wonderful world, terrible song – LOUISIANA
9. The brakeman’s state. Jimmie Rodgers singing brakeman from MISSISSIPPI
10. A new song’s electric protagonist frazzles here. Yellow Mama ALABAMA, the nickname of the electric chair in new song (Andy Kershaw session August 2021) ‘I’m getting buried in the morning.’
11. Tea for two? T for Tennessee
12. It takes a worried man to sing a worried song at the family fold, by daddy’s general store.
The Carter family from VIRGINIA recorded one of the most famous versions of ‘Worried Man Blues.’
13. “I’ve been upstream” seems to be a film reference, set in this state. It seems to me that this line from ‘Asparagus Next Left’ is a reference to the film ‘Deliverance,’ set in GEORGIA, with it’s themes of dirty doings down dark dirt tracks.
14. Does the state capitol have a chandler’s shop? If not, Bunner’s of Montgomery in ‘Stiperstones’ surely must open a branch in Montgomery ALABAMA where the jigsaw of Nazi war criminals might sell well.
15. The original city limits are nearer to Interstate 40 than the M6. Knutsford in ‘M6-ster’ parodies Nutbush City Limits in TENNESSEE
16. Location that inspired the crossroads in ‘Hair Like Brian May Blues.’ Robert Johnson’s legendary MISSISSIPPI crossroads of course.
17. Singer of 18 was at home here Lead Belly from LOUISIANA
18. Where the bluesman first got the inspiration to sound like that at the depot. Lead Belly got his inspiration for ‘Rock Island Line’ hearing convicts sing it in ARKANSAS.
19. Where Old Tige was born. HMHB’s first radio cover version was written for Jim Reeves in MISSOURI
20. Likewise the singer who made HMHB’s most famous pilgrimage – the singer out of Slipknot born & raised in IOWA
21. Likewise the band who stood in for Black Lace’s song – Husker Du from MINNESOTA
22. I have more than once made the mistake of saying Lord Hereford’s Knob is in the Black Hills, rather than the Black Mountains. The Black Hills are in SOUTH DAKOTA
23. To the west, Brokeback Mountain. Which is a fictional mountain in WYOMING
24. Not the same state as question 3, but the largest denomination here are still likely to be treated with equal disdain in Prenton. Really the same clue as question 3. Many Mormon missionaries could also be from IDAHO where they are the largest religious denomination.
25. Finally the exiled Sub-Pop noisenik is home. Refers to the exile of the Sub Pop noisenik in ‘Styx Gig’ and his homecoming to sub-pop HQ in Seattle WASHINGTON.
14 October 2021
Paul F
I’ll take that Exxo – right for the wrong reasons on 22 and 24, and I hadn’t listened to Styx Gig for so long that the lyric confused me (even if I got the key reference to Sub Pop).
14 October 2021
John Anderson
No wonder I didn’t get 21. I mistook Black Lace for Paper Lace and pondered an HMHB connection with The Night Chicago Dies (Illinois).
14 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Well done, Exxo. Although I’m wondering why you didn’t work in a Sex and the City reference to Charlotte, and thereby include North Carolina, which would have made your cross-continent odyssey doable by car.
Also, I have been to all the states in the quiz except Louisiana. Can anyone top that?
14 October 2021
paul F
A disappointing 7 for me (although I have been to 12 of the 29 states not in the quiz).
14 October 2021
John Anderson
I have been to eight of the states in the quiz plus another five that aren’t.
14 October 2021
EXXO
Great Railways Journeys of HMHB Quiz
I hear the train a-comin’; it’s rollin’ ’round the bend,
And I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when,
I’m stuck in and it’s rainin’ and time keeps draggin’ on,
But I’m busy Thursday/Friday so I’d better post this one
On Wednesday. Please don’t paste any answers before next Monday p.m.
Feel free to google, especially for 12, 13, 14, 18, 19 and 20.
1. What is the earliest time of train arrival specified in an HMHB lyric?
2. Which is the latest time of train departure specified in an HMHB lyric?
3. What’s the most regular rolling stock destruction in HMHB lyrics?
4. What’s the longest anyone spends on the railway in HMHB lyrics?
5. What is the busiest and most dangerous train route mentioned by HMHB?
6. Which railway personage mentioned by HMHB is widely believed to have given his name to about three quarters of a million people and to the way they speak?
7. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB must have happened before 1967?
8. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB could not have occurred after 1968, even if we didn’t already know that it could not have occurred after 1967?
9. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB must have occurred after 2007?
10. Rod Stewart is one of the best known celebrity builders of impressively realistic model railways, but he’s not HMHB-referenced. Which music & TV star famed in a HMHB reference has built an even more spectacular 30-metre long model railway?
11. In HMHB’s most foible-themed song, a railway-themed foible is mentioned. But do academic studies and railway company data indicate that the foible mentioned is (a) the most common foible of this type on the railways, or (b) not the most common? And if the answer is (b), which other quite similar foible is in fact more common?
12. National shite – which is the nearby HMHB-referenced city to the line which claims the longest-running bus replacement service in the UK (at 18 years and counting)?
13. International shite – which country calls its rail replacement buses “bustitutes?”
14. More international shite- which major city actually began its underground system with replacement buses from day one?
15. In an HMHB song, what is rather illogical about the protagonist’s behaviour on platform three?
16. Think of a HMHB-referenced tube station. Name at least 6 other HMHB-referenced places which can be accessed from there directly, without changing. The place-name mentioned by HMHB must be the first word(s) of the name of the Underground Station. Name two other HMHB-referenced venues (one of which closed down a couple of years back) which could be reached directly from the same point. For these last two, this must be the closest underground station to the event, and only the event is mentioned by HMHB, not the station.
17. Name the song referenced in a HMHB track which is about an old railway named after a transport hub on a major river?
Finally, trams and cable cars …
18. Which HMHB- referenced tourist destination offers a choice between a tram line that’s about 120 years old or cable car over 50 years old?
19. Which HMHB-referenced holiday town offers a cable car just 37 years old, close to the railway station?
20. Which HMHB referenced resort has a cablecar going up to about 7,000 feet?
20 October 2021
EXXO
Bing-bong. Will passengers at #14 please please read “metropolitan rail” instead of “underground.” Exxo Quizzes apologise for this error which is due to a mechanical failure in the reading area.
20 October 2021
EXXO
Bing-bong again. Will passengers travelling in the rear half of #16 please note that “venue” will be the word replacement service for “event.” The latter word has been cancelled. London Underground apologises for the inconvenience, which is due to inconvenience in the specified area.
20 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Being an American puts me at a huge disadvantage in these quizzes, but being a fan of the “The Sopranos” means I know the answer to question 10! Yay, mobsters!
Very curious to hear the answers/explanations to questions 7 and 8.
21 October 2021
EXXO
Looking forward to reading some of your answers in a hotel bar near Shrewsbury this evening. Each question has one answer except the tube one which has 8 or more. That’s 27 points and so if the first to post has at least14 answers that they are happy with they may well claim the glory.
I’m currently on a dangerously overcrowded train at Crewe. Just two carriages from Piccadilly all the way to Milford Haven at the start of half term week so i’m glad I decided on Shrewsbury for this week’s fishing rather than going down past Lemmy’s manor to Hereford.
25 October 2021
Lord lEomInster
Ha! Enjoy your journey on Arriva’s standard (i.e. overpriced and overcrowded) COVID Express. Hope you survive the journey and that the fishing is good.
25 October 2021
EXXO
Hmm. As soon as I posted that comment I thought I’d submitted another post correcting that to ‘Leommy’ with the all important (but deadly silent) “o”. But by then I must have been in the asparagus hinterland between Nantwich and Wem where you can scream but you’ll never get a phone signal, so it seems the post didn’t post, and work-related emails I tried to send didn’t send.
And then in the small hotel bar that evening, nobody asked “Have you got change for the fruit machine chief, I’m all out?” which, because I was so exhausted, was the only thing that would have reminded me to check whether any of you lazy buggers had submitted any answers on here.
I am going to say that the first person to submit at least 12 answers or guesses and get at least 10 right is the winner and will be carried shoulder high through the streets of every city they visit, if I have anything to do with it.
27 October 2021
Lord leominster
Don’t worry, I answer to anything, pillock, even. Lazy, yes, but mainly it’s because I don’t have any answers. I think I know the significance of 1967 / 1968 but I still don’t know the answer to either question.
27 October 2021
EXXo
I’ll put up the answers before midnight, and fail you all on the HMHB Railways 1813 – 2011 module, unless anyone asks for an extension or consideration of mitigating circumstances.
28 October 2021
Lord leominster
I left my homework on the train…
28 October 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
I was going to have a proper go, but ended up going down a rabbit hole on 7/8, thinking it was something to do with the Don MacClean assasination plot but was unable to find any dates of significance linking him, Peter Glaze and Mickie Most.
However.. I recognised 3 straight away as being the Saturday train regularly smashed up by the Chigley Skins, 18 as being the Great Orme, and as for 19, I drove under said cable car last Saturday, and it’s in close proximity to not one but two tunnels where the light at the end could be an oncoming train…
28 October 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
Just also realised that no.5 is most likely the Calcutta (or should we now be saying Kolkata?) railway.
28 October 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
(11) is “won’t sit backwards on the train” and I guess it is probably (a) more common than not sitting forwards. I’m guessing (20) is Kitzbuhel. (4) could be “the poor bastard driving the train” in the Coroner’s Footnote.
29 October 2021
EXXO
Spent ages doing these answers, then fell asleep on the sofa just before midnight not realising I hadn’t posted them yet. I suppose the Professor’s 4 correct answers and Keith’s 1 ut of a possible 27 (or 30 incl possible bonuses) are a damning indictment of the way I word the questions – I always think I needn’t make every effort to be clear ‘cos that makes it too easy – so they have inadvertently, by not forgetting much right at all, made me question my vocation and saved the whole class from detention. Anyway you miscreants might have bullied them had they been the only ones not getting said detention. Consider it a suspended sentence.
Great Railways Journeys of HMHB – Answers
I hear the train a-comin’; it’s rollin’ ’round the bend,
And I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when,
I’m stuck in and it’s rainin’ and time keeps draggin’ on…
No points for spotting the intro’ from Johnny Cash’s ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ which of course gave us “I shot a man in Reno/Tesco” (L’enfer c’est les Autres)
1. What is the earliest time of train arrival specified in an HMHB lyric?
Mid-day (The Coroner’s Footnote)
2. Which is the latest time of train departure specified in an HMHB lyric?
20.40 (Hair Like Brian May Blues)
3. What’s the most regular rolling stock destruction in HMHB lyrics?
Yes professor – every other Saturday the Chigley skins smash the train up (Time Flies By)
4. What’s the longest anyone spends on the railway in HMHB lyrics?
21 years on the RC Mountain Line (Worried man Blues – Ok technically not HMHB Lyrics, but you would certainly have got bonus points if you’d pointed that out, you unpedantic buggers)
5. What is the busiest and most dangerous train route mentioned by HMHB?
Indeed, the Calcutta/Kolkata Railway (NSD) – well played Professor.
6. Which railway personage mentioned by HMHB is widely believed to have given his name
to about three quarters of a million people and to the way they speak?
George Stephenson the engineer (Bob Wilson). He was originally a mining engineer and the key for me is the Clanny lamps v. Davy lamps v. Geordie lamps controversy of 1813-1833. Only when Stephenson had later become “the father of the railways” was his earlier work as one of the fathers of the mining safety lamp acknowledged by the British establishment (who suddenly realised how much money they could make out of the railways). But the miners around Newcastle already identified strongly with Geordie’s (George’s) lamp that made such a difference to their safety – it was better than Davy’s – and they became “Geordies”.
7. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB must have happened before 1967?
The box car to Bude (Hair Like Brian May – again). No trains to Bude since 1966.
8. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB could not have occurred after 1968, even if we didn’t already know that it could not have occurred after 1967?
Steaming out of Trumpton (no steam in UK since August 1968, but no Trumpton made before or since 1967)
9. Which railway journey mentioned by HMHB must have occurred after 2007?
The TGV to Zurich began that year (Tommy Walsh)
10. Rod Stewart is one of the best known celebrity builders of impressively realistic model railways, but he’s not HMHB-referenced. Which music & TV star famed in a HMHB reference has built an even more spectacular 30-metre long model railway?
Jools Holland (Moody Chops) – his train set is well worth a google images search.
11. In HMHB’s most foible-themed song, a railway-themed foible is mentioned. But do academic studies and railway company data indicate that the foible mentioned is (a) the most common foible of this type on the railways, or (b) not the most common? And if the answer is (b), which other quite similar foible is in fact more common?
Answer (b). “I won’t sit backwards on the train” (Vagaries) is NOT as common as passengers preferring a window seat, proven in railway bookings and research data (lazy greedy non-quizzers do your own googling for references)
12. National Shite – which is the nearby HMHB-referenced city to the line which claims the longest-running bus replacement service in the UK (at 18 years and counting)?
STOKE (Mileage Chart) is the nearest city to its suburban pottery stations like Barlaston and Wedgwood on the Stoke-Stafford line which they – grr THEY, the bastards – don’t dare to actually, officially close permanently, for fear of being as hated as Beeching, but have had a replacement bus service since 2003.
13. International shite – which country calls its rail replacement buses “bustitutes?”
Canada
14. More international shite- which major city actually began its metropolitan rail system with replacement buses from day one?
Sydney
15. In an HMHB song, what is rather illogical about the protagonist’s behaviour on platform three?
Looking around as< the train pulls in is unnecessary and illogical, whether the song is from the point of view of the boyfriend on the platform or the person on the train (Fred Titmus)
16. Think of a HMHB-referenced tube station. Name at least 6 other HMHB-referenced places which can be accessed from there directly, without changing. The place-name mentioned by HMHB must be the first word(s) of the name of the Underground Station. Name two other HMHB-referenced venues (one of which closed down a couple of years back) which could be reached directly from the same point. For these last two, this must be the closest underground station to the event, and only the event is mentioned by HMHB, not the station.
I offered 8 points, but you could have grabbed ten you bunch of miscreants, just by looking at a tube map! The only station fitting these criteria is Embankment (Epiphany), from which you can get without changing to Notting Hill (Light), Earl’s Court (Took Problem Chimp) Edgware Road & Westminster (Upon WB), Wembley (Reflections), Camden (Foreskinny Indie Kids), Whitechapel (Girlfriend’s FWH), Barbican (ACP), as well as Wimbledon for the Centre Court (ACP) and Tottenham Court Road for the Borderline (Secret Gig).
I’m surprised people weren’t more engaged by this puzzle, but I hope some of you will see what I meant when I wrote in a gig review in 2009 that sometimes the whole HMHB opus seems like some kind of geographical puzzle with a golden hare hidden at the end of it.
17. Name the song referenced in a HMHB track which is about an old railway named after a transport hub on a major river?
Leadbelly at the depot (24-H Garage People) refers to the Louisiana bluesman’s railroad depot growling on the blues song ‘Rock Island Line,’ Rock Island on the Mississippi being a vital early US strategic transport hub giving its name to Chicago’s great old Railroad Co. – dunno if it was a creative hub though..
Finally, trams and cable cars …
18. Which HMHB- referenced tourist destination offers a choice between a tram line that’s about 120 years old or cable car over 50 years old?
The Orme (Song of Encouragement) – well done again, Professor
19. Which HMHB-referenced holiday town offers a cable car just 37 years old, close to the railway station?
Matlock Bath (Light@End)
20. Which HMHB referenced resort has a cablecar going up to about 7,000 feet?
Kitzbühel (Corgi)
29 October 2021
parsfan
Great effort Nigel, as ever, but wasted on me. I got an far as working out none of the cable car ones were about Gibraltar then never went back to it.
29 October 2021
IDIOT SAUL
Q6. A bronze statue of the engineer George Stephenson stands in front of Chesterfield railway station. He is buried in Chesterfield and Bob Wilson was born there.
29 October 2021
lord leominster
Thanks for the quiz. I have a couple of observations:
Under the A to Z of HMHB, in March 2014 a certain Charles Exford tells us “Bude, Mississippi is a lot smaller than the one in Cornwall. However, it not only has a station but a box car maintenance depot.” I’m not sure (because I am too lazy to work it out for myself) if the Bude in your quiz is the Cornish Bude (cut by Beeching in 1967?) or the Mississippi Bude.
I have an alternative answer for 4. “What’s the longest anyone spends on the railway in HMHB lyrics?” The journey from Chatteris is infinite.
29 October 2021
lord leominster
Unlike the Arriva Wales Trains journey just two carriages from Manchester Piccadilly all the way to Milford Haven, which only feels like it is infinite.
29 October 2021
EXXo
But ironically, the last train from Chatteris was 1967, whereas for Bude (Cornwall) it was ’66. Chatteris swiftly used the old railway track bed to route a by-pass, definitely the most considerate thing for both Chatteris and for those who previously had to go through it.
Meanwhile I would guess that the entire economy of Bude Mississipi is dependent upon the repair of rolling stock.
https://aitx.com/locations/bude-ms/
But that Bude, Australia has no light at the end of the tunnel the way that Bude, Cornwall does
https://en.tripadvisor.com.hk/ShowUserReviews-g190804-d12865329-r610374391-Bude_Tunnel-Bude_Bude_Stratton_Cornwall_England.html
29 October 2021
BOBBY SVARC
I thought that was me, hey ho
29 October 2021
BOBBY SVARC
Q10, that is.
29 October 2021
EXXO
Wouldn’t surprise me if You’d build most of that stuff for Jools. And Rod.
Show us yer railway then Micky B.
29 October 2021
Lord leominster
I was about to suggest that the narrative of ‘Chatteris’ was set in the early 1960s but the town hall band CD put the kibosh on that. An infinite bus journey, then.
29 October 2021
FEATURELESS TV PRODUCER STEVE
Evidently I failed miserably at the one answer I thought I knew, partly because I didn’t read the question carefully enough (I kinda skipped over the tv star part).
But I would like to point out that Neil Young has also built an impressive model railway, in addition to sitting on the board of directors of Lionel Trains. So I really think he should have been in this quiz somewhere.
30 October 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
No chance I would have got no.6 – it’s always been my understanding that Geordies acquired their nickname a good century before, during the 1715 Jacobite uprising. Most of Northumberland came out for the Jacobites, but Newcastle remained loyal to the new King George, which apparently got the natives of the city called “Geordie’s Men” by the folk of the surrounding region, later truncated to Geordies. Research project there for someone to investigate the earliest proveable use of the term, I think…
30 October 2021
EXXO
It’s been done.
The OED’s earliest recorded instance of it meaning a general native of Newcastle/Tyneside is 1860, and for the accent in 1903.
But the earliest recorded instance of it for a Newcastle miner is 1827 (about a decade after Newcastle miners got Geordie Stephenson’s lamp).
The earliest use of it for sailor carrying coals from Newcastle in 1839.
The earliest recorded use of it for a coal ship, carrying coals from Newcastle, is 1849
30 October 2021
BOBBY SVARC
I’ve built two N-Gauge layouts. Both went to new homes about 8 years ago. Monkton-Smerk and Soho Yard. Both fearured in various rail modellers mags.
I’ll see if this works
https://ibb.co/QQ0xcQC
1 November 2021
BOBBY SVARC
It worked. Here’s the other layout, Soho Yard
https://ibb.co/4FvRYS5
1 November 2021
EXXO
Brilliant work as ever Mick. Thanks for sharing.
Found your video of the first layout in action too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxLBmHjxvh4
1 November 2021
BOBBY SVARC
This is not exactly a model railway but this sits where they used to stand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adg0zPfXssA
1 November 2021
EXXo
Frequent Eccentric Buses
Most of you should be able to get most of questions 1-14. Hopefully some of you can remember the three bus numbers for question 15, and then skillful googling is required for 16-20. Questions 18-20 are about names and gigs and make no reference to HMHB songs or lyrics really (and to be honest Q.17 not that much).
Let’s take any answers you have from noon today, Friday, for a change.
1. In which HMHB song are the bus drivers musically inspired?
2. In which HMHB song can the narrator not afford to get the bus?
3. In which HMHB song does the driver follow the rules but not a passenger?
4. In which HMHB song does the narrator plan to get the last bus and doesn’t?
5. In which HMHB song does the narrator plan to get the last bus, though we doubt he ever will?
6. In which HMHB song does the narrator inhabit the route?
7. In which HMHB song is the bus service one of many disappointments?
8. Which is the HMHB only song partly narrated by the bus driver?
9. Which HMHB song refers to the choice of on-board entertainment for bus passengers?
10. Which HMHB song seems to involve a bus in a traffic jam?
11. In which HMHB song is the bus schedule apparently misinterpreted?
12. Which is the only HMHB song with a specific enquiry about the route of a bus?
13. In which HMHB song is waiting for the bus a TV trope?
14. Which three HMHB songs refer to specific positions occupied by passenger(s) on the bus?
15. Which are the only three numbered bus routes referred to in HMHB lyrics (the numbers are almost certainly all fictional)?
16. What was the weather like when the narrator got off the bus in HMHB’s first cover version?
17. What links someone who wrote 50 songs a day for a week, most of which were destroyed in the Universal Studios fire of 2008, with a bus-related HMHB bus song?
18. What quite HMHB-related name links the buses which go along Church Lane in Harpurhey, Brimstage Road in Heswall, Romford Road London E7 and Peckham Rye/Rye Lane London SE15?
19. What did Nigel Blackwell claim to have used to get to the last Liverpool HMHB gig and what apparently semi-serious point was he making?
20. Which bus route from the nearest railway station to a regular HMHB gig venue passes under a rather ominous overhead railway bridge where the bus driver needs to remember to move into the middle of the road to safely negotiate the arch?
https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-warning-arch-bridge-high-vehicles-use-middle-of-road-sign-1258
5 November 2021
EXXo
https://startsafety.uk/arch-bridge-high-vehicles-use-middle-of-road-531-supplementary-post-mounted-sign
5 November 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
Having won the last one by default, I’ll have a proper try this time, helped by a slow day at work giving time to do some research…
1. In which HMHB song are the bus drivers musically inspired?
It makes the Room Look Bigger – “They come swinging round that corner, They think they’re Benny Goodman”. However, in the interests of pedantry,I have to say I think the line is ambiguous as to whether it’s the buses or the pension-robbing thugs being referred to?
2. In which HMHB song can the narrator not afford to get the bus?
Bob Wilson Anchorman – “I’m cold and I’m hungry and I’m in Dundalk ,I’ve got no bus fare, I’ve gotta walk”
3. In which HMHB song does the driver follow the rules but not a passenger?
Little in the Way of Sunshine – the narrator is stood forward of the notice that tells you not to stand in front of it or distract the driver while the bus is in motion and talking to the driver, who’s not responding
4. In which HMHB song does the narrator plan to get the last bus and doesn’t?
Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves – the gig was due to finish just in time for the last bus but ended so they got a different bus
5. In which HMHB song does the narrator plan to get the last bus, though we doubt he ever will?
Ordinary to Entschede – “and the last bus to your heart”
6. In which HMHB song does the narrator inhabit the route?
Pass
7. In which HMHB song is the bus service one of many disappointments?
National Shite Day – “I finally managed to reach the station, Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down”
8. Which is the HMHB only song partly narrated by the bus driver?
Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves
9. Which HMHB song refers to the choice of on-board entertainment for bus passengers?
Nove on the Sly – “The headphones are out on the tour bus by and by, and everyone’s listening to Charlie on the sly”
10. Which HMHB song seems to involve a bus in a traffic jam?
Pass
11. In which HMHB song is the bus schedule apparently misinterpreted?
Pass
12. Which is the only HMHB song with a specific enquiry about the route of a bus?
Pass
13. In which HMHB song is waiting for the bus a TV trope?
It makes the Room Look Bigger? ( it could also be £24.99 From Argos but I can’t think of anything TV-related about dying while waiting for a bus)
14. Which three HMHB songs refer to specific positions occupied by passenger(s) on the bus?
Little in the Way of Sunshine (standing forward of the notice), Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves ( upper deck front seat ), Terminus (front of the bus)
15. Which are the only three numbered bus routes referred to in HMHB lyrics (the numbers are almost certainly all fictional)?
Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves – 71, Little in the Way of Sunshine – 41, Pass on the third
16. What was the weather like when the narrator got off the bus in HMHB’s first cover version?
This had me scratching my head about where the weather was mentioned in “No Regrets” until I thought to check the Peel session records, which gave me “Ol’ Tige” from the second 1985 set, with it being dark and thick fog
17. What links someone who wrote 50 songs a day for a week, most of which were destroyed in the Universal Studios fire of 2008, with a bus-related HMHB bus song?
Pass – nothing jumped out from wikipedia’s entry on the fire and the discussion of what might or might not have been lost in the blaze.
18. What quite HMHB-related name links the buses which go along Church Lane in Harpurhey, Brimstage Road in Heswall, Romford Road London E7 and Peckham Rye/Rye Lane London SE15
Pass
19. What did Nigel Blackwell claim to have used to get to the last Liverpool HMHB gig and what apparently semi-serious point was he making?
I think this is something to do with the Walrus card but a check of the gig chat doesn’t appear to give a definitive answer? Guess you had to have been there…
20. Which bus route from the nearest railway station to a regular HMHB gig venue passes under a rather ominous overhead railway bridge where the bus driver needs to remember to move into the middle of the road to safely negotiate the arch?
Pass
8 November 2021
INJURED BUZZARD
Q 20: The 310 which will be traversed on Friday.
8 November 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
12 is Depressed Beyond Tablets: “Hey Blakey does your bus go by the dark satanic Mills?”
13 is False Grit: “If you’re not waiting for a kidney, you’re waiting for the bus.”
6 is Architecture and Morality Ted and Alice: “I live life in the bus lane”.
9 November 2021
professor Abelazar woozle
Realised this morning that no.11 could be Terminus – “bound who knows where, free of charge”
9 November 2021
EXXO
Great stuff. Congratulations Professor on a stunning victory, with 14½ bus routes out of a possible 24, though I will also give him a bonus for mentioning the bus queues in £24.99, which I should have included in a question but didn’t. The half fare is for the Walrus part of #19.
Well done to Keith and I. Buzzard Esq for tendering the exact fare for journeys 6, 12, 13 and 20.
Which leaves routes 10, 11 (not Terminus), the last part of 15, 17 and 18 as tickets yet to be clipped. And the last part of q. 19, though I could understand the reluctance by non-Merseysiders to stray into this rather woolly zone.
But well done ‘cos 10 & 11 are lines of songs which I have interpreted to different extents, though I’m confident in my interpretations, and 17 & 18 I wasn’t expecting anyone to get unless they were really prepared to google right around the minor roads and back again.
9 November 2021
transit full of keith
11. My Outstretched Arms: “She’d read the timetable like I’d read her mind”
9 November 2021
EXXO
Yes. The balance of probability points to bus travel in ‘My Outstretched Arms’ rather than trains, trams, etc. So some interpretation the and in coming to the conclusion that the song in #10 refers to bus(=coach) travel as well.
Quick response today eh? That’s cos I’m in my second week of 8 weeks temping where there’s very little sign of them actually giving me any work to do .. but I’m ready should they ask :-).
9 November 2021
EXXO
Obviously that’s a 25-hour journey but +8 hours so you’d best do it tomorrow morning eh, or you’ll be at the mercy of the Amsterdam connection (albeit far less of a lottery than Paris, especially if you’ve got no luggage).
9 November 2021
EXXO
Hmm, wrong thread. Though vaguely appropriate. Soz.
9 November 2021
EXXO
Will drop off the outstanding answers on the way back to the depot tonight:
10. Which HMHB song seems to involve a bus in a traffic jam?
The use of Bubblewrap by “us” in a traffic jam at Thelwall would seem to indicate an old folks’ coach trip to Brigadoon, rather than a car journey. I think Nigel confirmed this to me, but I can’t really remember now.
14. Which three HMHB songs refer to specific positions occupied by passenger(s) on the bus?
Little in the Way of Sunshine (standing forward of the notice), Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves ( upper deck front seat, and the seat behind me [the driver]) , Terminus (front of the bus)
15. Which are the only three numbered bus routes referred to in HMHB lyrics (the numbers are almost certainly all fictional)?
Yes the 71, the 41 and Duff Leg Bryn got on the the 113
17. What links someone who wrote 50 songs a day for a week, most of which were destroyed in the Universal Studios fire of 2008, with a bus-related HMHB bus song?
Steve Allen played Benny Goodman in a 1955 biopic and once successfully bet Frankie Laine he could publicly write 50 songs a day for a week.
18. What quite HMHB-related name links the buses which go along Church Lane in Harpurhey, Brimstage Road in Heswall, Romford Road London E7 and Peckham Rye/Rye Lane London SE15
All four routes pass the bottom of a Nigel Road and the ones in Heswall and Peckham even have stops of that name. The former named after Colin Kirkus’ brother Nigel, it seems.
19. What did Nigel Blackwell claim to have used to get to the last Liverpool HMHB gig and what apparently semi-serious point was he making?
Yes, his Walrus card – they only lasted two years but he was making the point that he could get to the centre of Liverpool more easily and quickly by bus than most Scousers and it was a kind of “who are the real wools?” type discourse.
10 November 2021
EXXO
Here’s eleven to contemplate on Remembrance Sunday.
1. Which HMHB tune alludes to a poet who lamented a generation of doomed young soldiers marching off to foreign wars, a whole generation before WW2?
2. Which HMHB song paraphrases a line from a poem about artillery practice just months before WW1?
3. Which HMHB song quotes a poet whose death was announced on Armistice Day?
4. Which new HMHB song commemorates a relative who died in WW1?
5. Which HMHB song distorts the title of a WW1 pop song?
6. Which character mentioned in a HMHB song fought in WW1 but really enjoyed WW2 until somebody kept spoiling it for him?
7. Which personage mentioned in a HMHB song won a Victoria Cross in WW1 and had mixed success as a commander in WW2?
8. Which HMHB song mentions someone who was shot down over Germany?
9. Which HMHB song mentions someone who died in the liberation of Italy?
10. Which HMHB tune and is based on a song about someone who was feted as a hero of WW2?
11. One of my googly ones. What final World War connection can you find between Hair Like Brian May Blues and Everything’s AOR?
14 November 2021
EXXO
When I edit something I put in more typoes than I take out.
Q.1 should be “a whole generation before WW1.”
Q. 10 just delete the “and”
Don’t post answers today. Ta.
14 November 2021
EXXO
Anyone manage to commemorate at least six correct answers and thus gain ultimate victory through personal sacrifice?
19 November 2021
mister tubbs
I’ll have a guess at only four of them:-
1-Shropshire Lad
6-Warden Hodges – there’s an episode of Dad’s Army where Hodges goes on a rant about how much he’s enjoying the war, but it would be much better if he didn’t have to deal with the Home Guard
7-Total guess – Duke of Westninster?
8-Another guess – Douglas Bader
In other news, I think you’re dead right about John Moston and the Buchan cup final. Motson only got the Cup Final due to David Coleman being in dispute with the BBC at the time, although I think everyone expected Barry Davies would get the cup final ahead of Motson, whereas Davies had to make do with the European Cup Final that year, which in television terms was considered a much smaller gig than the FA Cup final!
19 November 2021
EXXO
Well played Mr. Tubbs with correct answers to 1 & 6 only. With nine answers remaining, anyone getting just five bars on their medal will claim the glory.
19 November 2021
transit full of keith
Think I’d missed this one last week. Non-google attempts:
1. –
2. I’m sure the poem is Channel Firing by Thomas Hardy, I think the “glebe cow started to drool” in Tending The Wrong Grave is Hardy so probably that?
3. I’m sure this is Wilfred Owen, but I can’t remember which Biscuit song quotes him.
4. I think you said this was Uncle Allan from Frequent Electric Trains.
5. Roses of Picardy, later done by Eva Cassidy, becoming Aphids in Picardy in “The Light at the End of the Tunnel”?
6. –
7. Lord Gort?
8. Rock climber Colin Kirkus
9. ?
10. Blood on The Quad (tune from the Woody Guthrie song about Soviet sniper Ludmila (?) Pavlichenko, is it “Miss Pavlichenko”?)
11. The most obvious connection between the two songs is bad perms, but I can’t connect that to either World War …
19 November 2021
EXXO
Excellent. The Friday quiz doing what it was meant to do and hastening the end of the working week on a feelgood note. A triumphant rattling off of correct answers 2,3,4,5,7,8 and 10 by this week’s winner TRANSIT FULL OF KEITH.
*Canned applause, but no handclapping sequence*
Clues for 9 & 11, you say? One of readers in the Oxford area would definitely get number 9. And number 11 relates to a kind of brother to her out of the OMD song.
19 November 2021
EXXO
One of our readers even, ie one of this site’s regulars.
19 November 2021
Alice van der meer
Yes, I got question 9 instantly! But I did so much rummaging and Googling for the others, bar the Kirkus question, that I figured it was unfair, and Keith still got more than me anyway.
19 November 2021
transit full of keith
Don’t think I can claim 3 as I didn’t name the song, only “He’s a good lad is” Wilf.
19 November 2021
EXXO
In fact a sister to her out of the OMitD song is probably how she would have been referred to at the time.
And I should have said Bader was a great effort by Mr. Tubbs there, but he was shot down over France. Should have had a question about him too really.
19 November 2021
EXXO
@Keith DBT for #3 – caverns and abysmals – Owen quoting Shelley.
19 November 2021
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
Ta. The “caverns and abysmals” came to me on the bike ride home, and I have a vague idea 9 might be Hedley Verity, though footballers and cricketers are never my strong point.
19 November 2021
EXXO
Well played. You get eight points in total then.
I won’t spin out number 11 much longer, but the final act of WW2 and the terrible sister of an OMD song?
19 November 2021
Alice van der meer
Yes, No 9 is Hedley Verity – whose son crops up in a number of biscuity connections too.
I looked 11 up but, as you’re close to calling time, it’s the boxcar and Nagasaki – the B29 that dropped the bomb on Nagasaki was called “Bockscar”.
19 November 2021
EXXO
Yes, the majority of Flying Fortresses were puns/rhymes on their commander’s name, rather than the name of the commander’s mother (like Enola Gay which bombed Hiroshima). Flying crate – box – boxcar – Captain Bock’s car. The plane’s nose was painted with the image of a winged box car on the rails with its cargo from Omaha to Nagasaki, but this happened after the mission as the Nagasaki wasn’t the original target when they took off.
19 November 2021
EXXO
Pretty inevitable that this would happen sooner or later, but for Friday’s freakin’ Frome gig we finally introduce
Fantasy Biscuitball
I hope someone else would like to have a go at this. You don’t need to be attending tomorrow’s gig to participate. Once someone else has had a go, I will do my entry and it will be game on. Don’t want to do it first in case I’m the only one, but if you go first you are assured you won’t be the only one.
1. Predict 5 songs which were not played at the last gig which will be played on Friday.
If correct on any, you will get 1 point for every gig since the song was last played, eg 5 points for one that was played 5 gigs ago and 3 points for one that was played 3 gigs ago.
2. You may nominate one of those 5 songs as your ‘favourite’ and that will score double points (eg if it was last played 22 gigs ago it will score 44 points). If never played live before you will receive 100 points for any song and 200 for your ‘favourite.’
3. Predict 3 songs which were played at the last gig which will not be played on Friday.
You will get 5 points for each correct.
4. Predict the % of different songs that will be played from last time.
The closest prediction will get 10 points, the second closest 5 points. No other points.
5. Cover song. Predict the name of the group or artist who released the best known (or in the case of dispute, the earliest) version of the cover song.
30 points if correct, but also 5 points if your artist) begins with the same letter of the alphabet and 2 points if it begins with an adjacent letter of the alphabet ( first word of the group other than “the” or surname of solo artist).
In all cases, Nigel playing a few bars in response to a shout-out will not count so don’t try requesting to influence the game.
I will shortly post the setlists of the last 5 gigs in a single post below, including which tracks played at the previous gig, the % difference of each gig from the previous one and the list of tracks played at all 5.
25 November 2021
transit full of keith
I might have a go at that later.
More importantly, lateral flow test this morning was negative, so Fromeward bound tomorrow.
25 November 2021
transit full of keith
Here’s my shot.
1. Bastard Son of Dean Friedman, Lark Descending, We Built This Village on a Trad.Arr.Tune, Gubba Lookalikes, For What Is Chatteris?
2. Gubba Lookalikes – Favourite
3. Footprints / Irk The Purists / What Do I Get?
4. 55%
5. Tears for Fears (v. unlikely, but they were local. I could just about see ‘Mad World’ working).
25 November 2021
EXXo
Thanks Keith. Glad that they’re not singing “he’s on his own again” at me, not today at least.
Feel free to revise your selections at any point given the info below, and given that I’ve added a clause to the rules that you can’t have the cover as your “they won’t play it” selection.
Holmfirth 12-11-21
9 out of 27 tracks different from last time (played last time = L)=33% difference
Renfield’s Afoot L
Terminus L
Bob Wilson Anchorman L
Sealclubbing
Joy In Leeuwarden
When The Evening Sun Goes Down L
Asparagus Next Left
A Lilac Harry Quinn L
Twenty-Seven Yards Of Dental Floss
Dickie Davies Eyes
Vatican Broadside L
Surging Out Of Convalescence
What Made Colombia Famous L
Look Dad No Tunes L
The Best Things In Life (end bit)
Joy Division Oven Gloves L
National Shite Day L
Irk The Purists L
Footprints
Everything’s AOR L
Restless Legs L
All I Want For Christmas Is A DPAK L
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel L
Ninety-Nine Per Cent Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd L
Every Time A Bell Rings L
COVER What Do I Get? BUZZCOCS
The Trumpton Riots L
Bristol 6-3-21 10 out of 29 = 34.5% different
Westward Ho! – Massive Letdown
When The Evening Sun Goes Down L
Bob Wilson Anchorman L
Renfield’s Afoot L
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus L
A Lilac Harry Quinn
Restless Legs L
What Made Colombia Famous L
Irk The Purists
Ninety-Nine Per Cent Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd L
Hair Like Brian May Blues
Running Order Squabble Fest L
Terminus L
Shit Arm Bad Tattoo
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo
National Shite Day L
COVER – Part Time Punks
Look Dad No Tunes L
Vatican Broadside L
1966 And All That
Every Time A Bell Rings L
Joy Division Oven Gloves L
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit L
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune L
The Trumpton Riots L
Paintball’s Coming Home
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel L
COVER 20th Century Boy T-Rex
Everything’s AOR L
Northampton 15-2-21 12 tracks out of 32 = 37.5% difference from last time
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel L
Venus In Flares
Renfield’s Afoot L
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess
Running Order Squabble Fest
What Made Colombia Famous L
Restless Legs
Ode To Joyce L
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus L
Terminus L
Bob Wilson Anchor Man L
Letters Sent
Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes
The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
Look Dad No Tunes L
Floreat Inertia L
Every Time A Bell Rings L
Footprints
Cover – A Hard Day’s Night – Beatles
Vatican Broadside
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Joy Division Oven Gloves L
For What Is Chatteris? L
The Bane Of Constance
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit L
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune L
National Shite Day L
The Trumpton Riots L
Ready Steady Goa
When The Evening Sun Goes Down L
Cover – Wardance – KILLING JOKE
Everything’s AOR L
Hull 24-1-20
14 out of 29 different from last time = 48.3% difference
She’s In Broadstairs
When The Evening Sun Goes Down
Baguette Dilemma For The Booker Prize Guy
Renfield’s Afoot L
Ode To Joyce
What Made Colombia Famo