National Shite Day
vs
The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
Voting now closed. See the result here.
Meet The Players
National Shite Day
Pulling the ice axe from my leg
I staggered on
Spindrift stinging my remaining eye…
National Shite Day (lyrics) is the closing track from CSI:Ambleside (2008) and at 6 minutes 24, is the second-longest track recorded by the band. In the 2011 Lux Familiar Cup, it easily qualified from the album’s group, overcame another much-fancied song, Everything’s AOR, but then succumbed to eventual beaten finalist For What Is Chatteris… In 2015, it’s had tough draws once again, with all four ties against other songs from the top 16 in the Baguette Dilemma round: We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune, Asparagus Next Left, Evening of Swing (Has Been Cancelled) and once again, Everything’s AOR. The draws have not been kind, but the inevitability of that may be in the song’s title. Comments from this site:
“It is the UK’s new national anthem as far as I’m concerned”
“An instant ‘classic’ that defines the feeling that we all have at times that the microcosm, that is our life, is being replicated throughout the wider community”
“Relentless, epic, hilarious and a rare example of a track fading out because you just can’t see anything stopping it otherwise”
Read the original comments to see how we pieced together the lyrics and wondered to ourselves about the genesis of Stringy Bob, the capitalisation of the sanderling and musical references from Pixies and the Small Faces.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
She stayed with me until she moved to Notting Hill
She said it was the place she needs to be
Where the cocaine is fair trade, and frequently displayed
Is the Buena Vista Social Club CD…
The Light at the End of the Tunnel (lyrics) is the opening track from Cammell Laird Social Club (2002) and despite having the longest title, just about makes it into the 30 shortest proper songs recorded by the band. In the 2011 Lux Familiar Cup, it easily qualified from the album’s group, and overcame Dickie Davies, Bob Wilson and Evening of Swing before going out to to eventual beaten finalist For What Is Chatteris… in the semi-finals. This time around, it’s had a reasonably straightforward set of wins against Adam Boyle, Vitas Gerulaitis, Trumpton and 24 Hour Garage People to get this far. The draws have been kind, but the wins convincing. Comments from this site:
“Simply genius couplet after genius couplet”
“The whole family sing Light at the End Of The Tunnel to while away the miles on long car journeys. And no matter how many times, everyone ends up chuckling, grinning and warm inside. Almost every line is a gem”
“Shakespeare rarely came up with an iambic pentameter as good as that one”
Read the original comments to see how we pieced together the lyrics and brooded over the genesis of the song’s title, the capitalisation of fair trade, and musical references from Dillinger, Alexei Sayle and, er, the Belle Stars.
Loop
Interesting!
20 December 2015
2 Chevrons
Shite all the way for me folks.
20 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Could the light at the end of the tunnel be that of an oncoming bus replacement service?
20 December 2015
Mattkin as-is
‘Light’ on the basis that it is on my favourite album.
20 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
I’ve seen all the data from all the rounds and I wouldn’t like to call this one.
20 December 2015
Grze
more light, less shite!
20 December 2015
Paul rodgers
Light gets it for the No Frills chant – a clincher even amongst all the sublime surrounding couplets. Genius
20 December 2015
Two fat feet
Light is a terrific opener from my favourite HMHB album, which goes about its business with great economy so you don’t actually realise how short it is. Also great live, plenty of cultural references to get your teeth into and a wonderful singalong.
Not one I’d have regarded as a potential winner though. Run it back to back with NSD and it knocks Light into a cocked hat. It’s an assault on the ears from the off, without ever being just a painful racket, some great and perfectly-delivered lines and it just seems to gather momentum like a runaway train going downhill. Everyone has their part to play (“Cue drum roll!” cue drum roll) and just when you think they can’t throw any more into the mix, the extra guitar bit comes in just before the fade-out.
But for all that, my Acorn Electron has analysed the results to date (taking perceived strength of the opposition into account) and predicts Light to bring home the silverware with about 52.5% of the vote. May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob.
20 December 2015
Bobbybottler
Light > Shite
20 December 2015
Beltane beard
For most bands, something the quality of TLATEOTT would be their career high, but for HMHB it’s merely very good and they have better songs. NSD is one of those songs so not a hard choice for me.
20 December 2015
Graeme
Interestingly both finalists feature trains, railways etc in their lyrics. As a Northern Rail Conductor who is very well acquainted with both New Mills Central and New Mills Newtown I am tempted to vote for ‘Light’ but as a lover of all things from the 70s including Float On I feel compulsed to put my X next to ‘Shite’. It’s going to be a tough choice…
20 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
More votes in the first 4 hours than voted in the 2011 semi-finals. Well on the way to overtaking the 2011 final within 24 hours. Amazing.
20 December 2015
flintlock
I think I’ve made my decision, but I’m going to wait for a while till I’m sure.
Light… Is delightful, but perhaps a bit “comedy”.
Shite… is very powerful, but I find the Phil Cool/sanderling section a bit weaker than the rest of it. I’d be pleased if someone could try and persuade me that it doesn’t spoil the rest of the song.
20 December 2015
Audrey’s Euphemism
It might be my post-punk programming, but Shite’s just too long for me to be entirely comfortable with – in fact I think it has a whiff of the “prog” about it. If the second half had been hived off into a diffferent song (The Ballad of Stringy Bob, perhaps?) then I reckon both would probably have made it to the semis at least. And quite rightly so.
However, it is what it is and, while I recognise the majesty of Shite, when it comes to a showdown such as this, I am most definitely a Light man.
Anyway thanks Chris. This has all whetted my appetite and I’m very much looking forward to seeing HMHB in Brizzle in February. It’s been a few years since I last saw them. Hopefully, I won’t be quite so pissed this time!
It’ll be the first gig outing for my Evil Gazebo t-shirt, which caused offence at a “pop-up pub night” (I’m waiting for Nigel to use that terrible phrase in a song) in a Herefordshire village in the summer. A rather in-yer-face evangelical Christian lady got ridiculously upset that I thought gazebos could be evil. Sigh…
20 December 2015
Martin a
National Shite Day is a good song to listen to on a shite day and has some brilliant bits such as the Primark FM line to name one. For some reason it’s never been one of my favourites, in terms of the ‘epics’ I much prefer Thy Damnation and Bad Wools.
Light at the end of the Tunnel on the other hand, I thought was genius from the first time I heard it. Love how the rhythm sounds like a moving train and as others have pointed out, a great singalong.
CSI is possibly my favourite HMHB album, so that’s the only consolation if it wins. Seems tight so Christmas and Boxing Day can’t pass quickly enough!
20 December 2015
JAS
I honestly cannot decide. I voted for ‘Shite’ in the first round.
But this is the final.
JAS
20 December 2015
Stringy BOB
Vote for me. I am dead after all.
I know that different folks hear different things, but I cannot fathom how these two could be remotely comparable.
To my mind NSD is the pinnacle of the entire catalogue. A towering achievement well worthy of the crown I hope to see bestowed upon it.
20 December 2015
lEeuwarden wootton
Light is probably the best song Half Man does live especially when Nigel bellows out the line at the end of the song, but shite is getting my vote with a torn heart both great songs just wish it was wools in the final then it would have been much easier for me.
20 December 2015
Mr wet underpants 89
I wanted Trad arr tune, then Evening of Swing, now Light at the End of the Tunnel. New Mills are playing at home this weekend so….
20 December 2015
jodrell banksy
I’ve been wondering lately if it isn’t Stringy Bob on the bus in Little in the Way of Sunshine… I so want the NB-penned novel of my dreams that I find myself piecing it together. (Surely it’s the Shropshire Lad who’s been to the Indies in his undies while listening to Charlie on the sly.)
So it’s Shite for me, and the 21st-century Hardy never to be.
20 December 2015
MISTER TUBBS
It looks as if I’ll be spending much of the christmas holidays travelling to and from that London on bus replacement services, and if I needed any other reason to go for Shite Day,it would have to be that relentless bass line. If Excavating Rita had fared a bit better, it might’ve been a tougher call
20 December 2015
Compton Mopho
A great opener v a great closer. Shite Day wins it for me, just makes me want to hit ‘play’ and listen to the whole album again.
20 December 2015
Poolio
Polar opposites collide, mood dependent vote required. So how you feeling… Playful or grumpy… Hmm might just closer my eyes and whack the screen…
21 December 2015
Poolio
Went lightly into the night…
21 December 2015
Telly savalas
It must be national…
21 December 2015
featureless tv producer steve
TLATEOTT is the very first HMHB song I ever heard. Its combination of energy, cleverness, and lyrical brilliance immediately captivated me – and as such it is directly responsible for the immeasurable joy and wonder that I have experienced over the last five years whilst getting to know this amazing band’s amazing music. I honor it with my user name, and it will always hold a very special place in my heart. It would be extremely difficult for me to vote against it.
But then there’s National Shite Day. A glorious, epic, colossal barrage of guitars and anger, chronicling the grim daily crap we all somehow endure here in the bleak ridiculousness of the 21st century, with defiance and dark humor and even more cleverness. And that opening line…how can I vote against anything with that opening line?
So…decision not yet made. Leaning toward the light, but still feeling pulled by the wings of something dark.
21 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
One of the easiest ties of the round for me. Light for lots of reasons that I’ve listed before and others have said but also for a) the brilliance of the Eyam line and b) the genius nod back to the song’s title with the rhyming of Sylvia Plath and Matlock Bath – subtle and very clever
NSD on the other hand has a really weak first verse – National Mildly Annoying Day perhaps. The line about the children of the Calcutta railways shows that NB57 recognises this, and I’ve also always found the Primark FM line a bit snobbish and lazy. If it were all to the standard of the Stringy Bob verse (which is superb), my choice would be a lot harder, but it isn’t.
21 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Obviously I meant easier ties of the competition, it being the only tie in the round!!
21 December 2015
toastkid
I’ve clicked an option, hesitated, and clicked the other one several times in a row now. I’m going to put off voting for now. Why vote today when you can always put it off until tomorrow?
21 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Fast approaching 500 votes, and the phrase which springs to mind most readily contains the words “thickness” and “Rizla”.
21 December 2015
Clash City Rocker
Well done Chris on organizing another great competition. As the recently departed Jimmy ‘the Chin’ Hill is no doubt saying upstairs. “Its the final we all wanted etc” Looking at the forthcoming Christmas TV listings, and having avoided anything to do with the annual X Craptor boreathon. I find myself hoping that some forward thinking TV exec(Featureless TV producer Steve perhaps) would put on a 1970’s style all day Lux familiar cup Grandstand. We could have LFC its a knockout, LFC Mastermind, Stringy Bob specialist subject, rubber faced irritants. A bloke with a Mullet on products available in Millets, A girl taking on the Buena Vista social club. and someone form New Mills doing the career of Eva Cassidy. Cameras on the team coach heading up Wembley way. culminating in the final itself, with a panel of experts dissecting the action. I suggest Andy Kershaw, Stuart Maconie and Atilla the Stockbroker. My vote is going to Tunnel, but enjoy both songs. I know my mate Pressy a long time HMHB fan is not keen on NSD. If only they sang a verse about driving back from Bilston to the West Country down the M6 and missing the junction for the M5 and heading for Coventry AGAIN! he may change his mind. Thanks for the lift as always mate. Seasons greetings to all HMHB fans.
21 December 2015
PAT BOONE ON THE COUNTY BASSOON
Opted for Light. Now I’m off to Matlock Bath.
21 December 2015
cyclops
blimey, I had me tennis racket out for the everythings AOR victory celebration, but alas.Shite day methinks, just for the ‘no bog roll’ quip.
Off to pretend to be Kendo Nagasaki now…….. with my thoughts.
21 December 2015
Stringy Bob
Mm. They come from albums placed next to each other on my ‘Look Dad No I-Tunes’.
Both are fine of course (even though I voted for both of the losing semi finalists), but the Stockard Channing reference in NSD edges it for me.
21 December 2015
Sera69
Vote for the Light! Don’t be seduced by the dark side!
Light, best opening track on the best HMHB album (coincidentally, the only opening track on that album. Shurely shome proof of its genius . . . ) and for getting, Plath, ashram, swain, aphids and runnel into one song must be some kind of Guinness record. Shite misses as much as it hits, for me.
Light +1
21 December 2015
Sera69
Also, bus replacement service… tut tut
21 December 2015
Hammerfist Deceiver
Shite is right.
21 December 2015
G100
Oh, I don’t know…
21 December 2015
Nagasaki shinpads
….nor do I but The Light shone then I had a really shite day…Karma? Fate?…not relying on my lorries and driving method…maybe I’ll be found on the 14th fairway…
22 December 2015
flintlock
I didn’t know either, but I had a far from shite day today, after a couple of slightly smelly ones. I saw the light.
22 December 2015
toastkid
Slept on it, then went Shite.
22 December 2015
G100
Well, I grew up near most of the places mentioned and seeing the gig in Matlock Bath was fabulous, so in the end I have gone Light.
22 December 2015
mate of the bloke
“Stringy BOB
Vote for me. I am dead after all. ”
May the Lord have mercy on you Stringy Bob.
Whilst TLATEOTT is a bouncy track and contains good lyrics, but for me NSD sums up the status of the nation today. Child obesity, travel disruption and anti-social behaviour amongst society.
22 December 2015
WARDEN HODGES
Gone all Eva Cassidy on this one.
22 December 2015
STRINGY BOB
@34 …. I am Stringy Bob, get your own name!
22 December 2015
featureless tv producer steve
May the Lord have mercy on all the Stringy Bobs.
22 December 2015
STRINGY BOB
No, I’m Stringy Bob!
(and I’m voting for The Light…)
22 December 2015
MAlcolm of arimathea
I’m Stringy Bob and so is my wife
22 December 2015
Steven
I can see NSD qualifying from this into some sort of Europa League for songs from other bands. I fancy NSD to come through a group containing Bragg – Sexuality, Aqua -Barbie Girl and Carter USM – Sheriff Fatman. Eurpoean Glory awaits.
22 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Does that mean that Levi Stubbs’ Tears was drawn in a different group?
22 December 2015
Nagasaki shinpads
Surely “Save your Love” will be seeded in Pot No 1…
22 December 2015
Two fat feet
First it has to negotiate a tricky play-off away to Yes Sir I Can Boogie
22 December 2015
gordo
just like when the FA Cup final was contested by Portsmouth and Cardiff .there’s a clear favourite (Light) but in my book it isn’t quite a champions league qualifying contender, the final’s a bit of an anti-climax
23 December 2015
SERA69
Not sure if I missed it, but what’s the date of the reveal? Will there be a Miss Universe final result showdown? Funny how the winner of Miss Universe always comes from Earth . . .
23 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Not sure when the reveal will be, although voting will stop when shown. Once my blummin’ family Christmas commitments are finally worked out, I’ll post a time when I know I’ll be around to publish the results.
23 December 2015
Mr. Abelazar woozle
Gawd, this is probably the toughest one for me of the whole tournament – the bouncy local hero track against the one that saw me through some particularly shite days at work.
For all that I was in Matlock Bath last night and will be committing wilful and premeditated carol singing in Eyam tonight, I’m going with NSD, as opposed to LSD or OCD.
23 December 2015
gipton teenager
You know those curly wires which come out of the ears of policemen? Are they called “Bobby Strings”? Sorry, I’ve got nothing better to do, other than vote for NSD. (Partner throwing up as I speak, the rain’s coming down like stair rods and I’ve broken my glasses – no doubt I’ll burn my hand with the soldering iron trying to fix them…) Merry bloody Christmas everyone, enjoy the piney smells.
24 December 2015
The Full biscuit
Is ‘The Light..’ favourite to win? I hope so.
24 December 2015
Lee gillingham
shite for me .
26 December 2015
Two fat feet
Families all over the country are gathered round devices and computer screens in anticipation of the big announcement.
It seems inconceivable to me that anything might be able to stop NSD but the exit poll seems to back up the computer prediction that Light will take the prize. Of course, both have been known to be way out.
27 December 2015