OK, based on the running order at the Bilston gig on Thursday night, here’s the draw for the semi-finals.
| The Light At The End Of The Tunnel | v | 24-Hour Garage People |
| National Shite Day | v | Everything’s AOR |
And don’t let it affect your choices, but it would be remiss of me not to publish this photo from that gig:
VOTING NOW CLOSED. See the results here.
toastkid
So, will the draw be as simple as “winner of match 1 vs winner of match 2”? Or will you (CTSO) come up with something even more brilliant to arrange the final battles?
1 December 2015
toastkid
Perhaps something drawn from the results of the 2015 World Korfball Championships?
For example, if we look at the qualifying teams in alphabetical order, and assign them numbers 1 to 16, then take the first four teams, and rank them according to how they fared in the cup, we get 3,4,1,2. Which is effectively the same as 1,2,3,4, albeit with the matches in a different order. Maybe we can take that as a sign that it’s ok to just go 1v2 & 3v4…
1 December 2015
toastkid
Oops, my mistake! That ordering should have been 2,4,1,3, which DOES actually make for a different pair of matches.
This was based on looking at the first four teams alphabetically (Australia(1), Belgium(2), Brazil(3) & Catalonia(4)) and their final position in the cup (11, 2, 16 & 5, respectively). When we re-order our chosen teams according to how well they did we get 2, 4, 1, 3.
1 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Ooh, we’re on the right lines there, Toastkid. But it’d be nice to have the draw based on something which is happening live, as we’ve managed so far. To begin with, we’d be looking for a Biscuit-related event happening preferably over the weekend of 11–13 December…
1 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
So Sports Personality of the Year comes a week too late. Shame.
1 December 2015
warwick Hunt
How about connecting the semi-final draw with the Euro 2016 draw on December 12? Buggered if I know how though.
1 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
Or we could assign a Belgian Pro League team to each of the semi-finalists and somehow link their results over the weekend of 12-13 December to the draw. Gent, Standard Liège and Waragem, obviously. And then we could arbitrarily chuck in Westerlo on the grounds that it sounds a bit like “Westward Ho!”.
1 December 2015
EXXO
I am strangely fascinated by Jeff’s proposal:
Fri 11/12/15 19.30 Westerlo v. Genk
Sat 12/12/15 19.00 Zulte-Waregem v. Waasland-Beveren
Sun 13/12/15 13.30 Standard Liège v. Club Brugge
17 : 00 Sint Truiden v. Gent
The Liège v. Club Brugge game seems well balanced, the other less so.
But given that we don’t know why we cheer for corners, why not even things out a bit?
Assign each quarter final winner to the 4 Belgian teams in order of performance in the quarters, so if say NSD wins by the highest margin it will be Gent (top of the league), then the 2nd biggest winner will be Waregem, the third Liege and the team with the narrowest win will be bottom-of-the-pile team Westerlo (these are the relative league positions now and they cannot change by next week)
Calculate the average number of corners so far this season (av. corners per home game against top half of the table teams, for Westerlo & Liege, per home game against bottom half teams for Waregem, and per away game against top half teams for Gent). Then calculate how many % of corners above or below that individual average each team achieves. Then pair our teams 1st v. 3rd and 2nd v. 4th in that league table of positive / negative percentages.
Dead heats on corner % to be settled by average goals scored % on the same principle (home average for the home teams, away average for Gent, each average again only calculated against teams in the appropriate half of the table).
I’ll do all the pre-match research.
Incidentally, the only league with 4 Biscuit referenced teams is The National League, AKA conference, so on any normal weekend we could have done similarly with Aldershot, Boreham Wood, Chester and Torquay, but they have no games between 8th and 18th December.
1 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Funnily, enough, I’m sure several of us were thinking of exactly that idea, Exxo. 😉
Seriously though (did I really just write that?), could we somehow work it so that one song gets filled in after each match, rather than having to wait until all four matches are over and doing it on a league basis? It’s more fun that way. We’d need something from the first match which has four outcomes, something from the second which has three, and something from the third match which has two. The “remainder from a division” used at Monmore works well; so we could have the total number of corners divided by 4, 3 and 2 respectively?
1 December 2015
NIGEL, NO NOT THAT ONE (NX3TO)
Aldershot, Boreham Wood, Chester and Torquay all play in the FA Trophy on Sat 12 Dec:
Aldershot Town v Eastleigh; Boreham Wood v Woking; AFC Telford United v Chester;Torquay United v Frome Town or Chesham United
1 December 2015
EXXO
Yes Chris, that would work. There will be a bit of a gap though between rounds though?
So that we’re all drinking in the Kaiser’s bierkeller by Christmas, we could do the same thing with something mid-week next week?
1 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Yeah, I suggested the end of the week because voting won’t finish until Tuesday night, and (talking of the Kaiser’s bierkeller) I’m in Hamburg on Wednesday and Thursday (discussing scientific instruments, sadly, not watching footy), so I may not be able to give proceedings my full attention. Unless there’s a Biscuit-related event on Tuesday night or Friday, our quickest way forward may be related to Nigel NNTO (NX3TO)’s rather good FA Trophy suggestion. Don’t forget we need three events, (the first with four outcomes, the second with three and the third with two), or a single event with 24 outcomes would work, albeit less excitingly.
1 December 2015
toastkid
This arcane scheme meets with my approval.
2 December 2015
Nagasaki shinpads
Just bloody bonkers!
2 December 2015
Gerry GOW
If we just use 3 matches, the first could have four outcomes Home win, Away win, Score draw and No score draw. For the second game, Home win, Away win or Draw. For the third game, Win or Draw gives two outcomes.
3 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
I like the corners idea as it brings the necessary unpredictability to the proceedings. If we need three matches, with four, three and two outcomes respectively, why not use the Waragem (Match 1) Standard (Match 2) and Gent (Match 3) matches as follows:
Match 1: a) above-average number of corners, none of which leads to a goal; b) above-average number of corners, one or more of which leads to a goal; c) below-average number of corners, none of which leads to a goal; and d) below average number of corners, one or more of which leads to a goal
Match 2 a) above-average number of corners, none of which leads to a goal; b) above-average number of corners, one or more of which leads to a goal; c) below-average number of corners
Match 3: a) above-average number of corners; b) below-average number of corners
with the “average” being calculated as per Exxo’s suggestion, i.e. taking into account home or away, top or bottom half of table depending on the team involved.
5 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
This is all rather brilliant, but I’ve just had (possibly) an even better idea. The band are playing at Bilston on Thursday night. How about the songs go into the draw in the order in which they play them? OK, it’s quite possible they won’t do all four, but if they only do three, that’s no problem …and if they only do two, we can easily sort out who gets home advantage in the second match*.
The intriguing possibility which this throws up is that someone in the band actually reads this crap, and may decide to fix the draw. The even more intriguing thing is that we’ll never know…
(*We’ll base it on the last time they did do both of the unplayed songs in the same gig.)
7 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
@CtSO – an ingenious proposal. I’ll pose a simple question, which imo yields the definitive answer:
What Would Sepp Blatter Do?
7 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
@CtSO – what if they only play one of the songs in the last 4?
7 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
I knew someone would say that. Sepp pleads a stress-related illness.
7 December 2015
Two fat feet
Whatever the outcome of match 4, on recent evidence I would expect all the semi-finalists bar 24HGP to be in the setlist so I’d say it’s viable without too many complications.
7 December 2015
Two fat feet
Although if AOR gets through it makes the most likely outcome that it will be the last played and thus drawn against 24HGP. If Chatteris gets through, however, it’s anybody’s guess.
7 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Sepp might take the Fifth, a time-gaining manoeuvre when there’s only four left in the competition.
7 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
Nice idea CtSO, although perhaps not as enthralling for those of us stuck at home feeling sorry for ourselves on Thursday night [smiley face]. Unless some sort of live feed from Bilston can be arranged.
8 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Someone’ll tweet it – hint, hint. The hashtag is #HMHB so it appears on our “Recent Comments” page. All we want is a tweet if/whenever one of the four songs is played. Please.
(Feel sorrier for me, I’ll be at Luton Airport)
8 December 2015
Brumbiscuit
I’ll post the order on here after the gig, but I don’t do Twatter.
8 December 2015
MAlcolm of arimathea
If I make it to Bilston I can tweet them. Trouble is, I don’t yet know whether I can go…boring stuff about being a taxi service for the kids
8 December 2015
toastkid
With the setlist plan (I guess someone will have to type it out), we can always fall back to the Applaud The Corners scheme to settle any uncertainties. So a hybrid solution, if you will.
8 December 2015
Cold in Dundalk
As TFF points out if (and stress if) AOR gets through then a likely outcome would be AOR vs 24HGP so possibly then draw would not be completely random.
Post result of 4th match and if you want to relive the wonderful chaos of Monmore, then there is a 7 race card at Bangor on Dee on the 11th, but whether you could get 4 GGs to pull up I’m not sure…
Anyway as always CtSO great work and many thanks.
8 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Why in the order played? E.g. 1-3-2-4 is a usual firing sequence in a 4-cylinder engine. Home teams chosen first, ties only known after 3 songs, reduces vibration and wear.
8 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
1-3-4-2*
8 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Actually, that’s a good idea, DiQ. Something random to decide which slot is filled in which order. How about we complete the draw in order, but begin with the slot corresponding to the decade of the album featuring the first song in the set? So if it’s a 1990s song (2nd decade), it’s 2 vs 3, 4 vs 1. If they open with something off, say, Achtung Bono (3rd decade), it’s 3 vs 4, 1 vs 2. The numbers still represent the order in which they play the four songs.
So, from the last gig, they opened with “Look Dad No Tunes”, from the album released in 2000 (third decade, none of this new-millennium-started-in-2001 malarkey). Then the songs from the semis which they played were, in order, NSD, TLATEOTT, and EAOR, so NSD goes into slot 3, TLATEOTT into 4, EAOR into 1 and 24HGP takes slot 2, making the ties EAOR vs 24HGP and NSD vs TLATEOTT.
8 December 2015
Windy miller
I urge caution in over complicating the draw after the Christmas darts knockout in the local was an unusual three man affair one year.
9 December 2015
SIMON P
I’ll tweet them (and the first song) if I’m not too drunk (my lovely HMHB fellow attendee is driving tomorrow).
10 December 2015
STRINGY BOB
Whatever works is fine by me. The madder the better.
10 December 2015
BrumbiscUit
Unless instructed otherwise, I shall no longer text the order, but rely on others more sober to do so on Twatter.
10 December 2015
SIMON p
Let’s just hope they don’t own with something obscure that I struggle to remember the name of through an alcohol fog (c.f. Sealclubbing at Oxford)
10 December 2015
SIMON p
Own= open. Bloody phone. At this rate I’ll be telling the world the first song was Whence The Eventide Sum Ghost Dumb.
10 December 2015
THIS LEADEN PAUL
If they open with a cover version, we’ll just have to assume that they’re messing with our collective head, man.
10 December 2015
Sera69
The possibility remains that some crafty fellow, if following this, may decide not to play any of the semi-finalists . . .
10 December 2015
Nagasaki shinpads
Sorry is this a Running Order Squabble Fest?
Bad I know but couldn’t resist it
I’ll get me coat…
10 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
So “Foam Party” kicks off the gig, and we therefore start with slot number 3 in the draw. But what will the draw be?
10 December 2015
TWO FAT FEET
They’ve clearly got wind of what’s going on, I reckon they’re doing the whole lot in the encore. Nigel’s even dusted off an old 24H routine for the occasion
10 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
I wonder if FWIC will get an outing?
#jesuischatteris
10 December 2015
TWO FAT FEET
Getting in early with the predictions : Light with 54%, NSD with 51% (but only just enough to avoid the need to go to a decimal place).
11 December 2015
SIMON p
NSD and AOR finished the main set. Encore was Bad Wools, Rubber Bullets and Light/Tunnel
11 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
So, subject to confirmation when we get the complete set list, we have our draw.
Curiously, no matter how we’ve arranged things, TLATEOTT has come out as the first song in the voting in every round (it even ended up there tonight by being the third song in the draw!). Most odd.
Huge thanks to @si_carter for tweeting the Breaking News live from Bilston.
11 December 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
From a typed-out setlist?
11 December 2015
STRINGY BOB
I consider semi final two to be nailed as as producing the eventual winner.
11 December 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Sudden thought – what if the alleged fix was not anti-Chatteris but a mobilisation of hitherto unknown EAOR devotees? Could we see NSD being swamped by a sudden run of votes, perhaps inspired by the poster on the amp at last night’s gig? Or is it a secret plan by the band themselves to ensure that EAOR ends up top? A lot of votes from IP addresses in the West Midlands or Wirral might explain it
sorry, just realised I should have posted this on http://www.conspiracytheoriesrus.com
11 December 2015
THE ECHO’S SEASONAL SEMI-FiNAL PULL-OUT
As things descend seasonally into farce, Paddy Shennan reviews the four contenders for your Christmas panto custom.
The Light at The End of the Tunnel, Greasby Opera House
Dick Whittington sets off from his humble home on the edge of the Peak Distict, heading for London, where he hopes to regain his lost love by making his fortune in the ethical drugs industry. Can he win his princess back by literally paving her road back from Notting Hill with gold? Without giving away the ending of course, the show ends on a cliff-hanger as the audience starts to question his delusions of yellow brick tracks leading back to happiness. Is that really the glow of the bright lights of the big city at the end of the tunnel? Oh no it isn’t…
Paddy’s pointer: “Jenny Aguther’s cameo, reprising the petticoat-ripping scene from the ‘Railway Children’ should delight the dads in the audience who may find this semi particularly hard.”
National Shite Day, Deeside Arena
There have been musical adaptations of ‘A Christmas Carol’ before, but this has more ‘Bah Humbug!’ than any of its predecessors as we follow a misanthropic miser’s attempts to avoid Christmas shopping in the local high street. From Millets (“he’s behind you!”), to Boots via Primark, Scrooge’s bleak houseful of excuses for avoiding spending any Christmas money mount up.
Rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool plays all three ghosts which confront the miserable moaner with his many failings, but Christmas Future is not amused when the goose that lays the golden egg is switched for a dead wading bird. As one final warning he sends Scrooge a grim vision involving Stringy Bob Cratchit…
Shennan says: “In the bleak midwinter frosty wind makes moan, with added spindrift.”
24 Hour Garage People The Plaza Theatre, Borough Road
This new twist on ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’ is one for all the family. Setting out to fuel some late-night song-writing, and so feed his family at Christmas (or by shortly after Epiphany at any rate), our night owl becomes an unlikely hero, standing up for decency, good manners and returning with stocking fillers for everyone. Again no spoilers but the boys and girls in the audience can expect to battle for a piece of Kitkat and leave with special warm memories, as their hero refrains from slaying the ogre that torments the town until the very end of the epilogue, when an opportunity with no witnesses finally arises half a mile away on a deserted municipal golf course…
Shennan says: “sure to refuel your shelves with seasonal goodwill to all men except the odd twat.”
Everything’s AOR, Liverpool Stadium
Treated like a lackey by his cruel sneering step-sister, the hero regresses into a childhood fantasy world where the wrestling isn’t choreographed, where there is a sanity clause and
where everybody votes just once in internet polls…
#sadness in his site
#don’t let them win
If it was a pantomime it would surely be Cinderella, but in this version the hero knows that the escape from life of drudgery is just a dream sequence. It’s not going to be a wonderful life as long as he stays in that office in the city.
Paddy’s pithy part: “L’Enfer C’est Les Autres.”
in next week’s column we were going to review all the leading contenders for the coveted Xmas number one slot: the X-Factor record, the charity record, the comedian/pop star double act, the Spacebook campaign and the washed up old Welsh diva’s wayward warbling …but because the huge ‘sympathy wave’ (#sadnessinhissite #dontlettheterroristswin) means the bookies have slashed HMHB’s ‘#prayforChatteris’ to a short odds-on certainty for the coveted slot before the Queen’s Xmas speech, we will instead be doing a special feature on the magical winter funland of traditional Fenland Christmas songs. Don’t miss it.
11 December 2015
Nagasaki shinpads
Brilliant
11 December 2015
EXXO
As Westward Ho!/Westerlo racked up all those corners there, more than doubling their home seasonal average, it was hard not to feel pangs of regret that at the end of the day, there was still no reason to cheer, eh Jeff?
11-7 on corners and not one led to a goal.
11 December 2015
Jeff dreadnought
A waste of good corners, Exxo, in more ways than one.
Cheering for the penalty proved futile, too, as that didn’t lead to a goal either – massive let-down for Westerlo, massive let-off for Genk.
I’ll be following the other three fixtures this weekend with interest, just to see what might have been.
12 December 2015
Jeff dreadnought
Outstanding preview, Paddy.
12 December 2015
Kendo nagasaki
Feels like the final everyone wanted has been drawn a round early NSD vs EAOR is going to be an epic tussle
12 December 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
In the only matches that really mattered this weekend, it was Waragem 3-2 on corners, Standard 7-6 and Gent 8-6. None of them led to a goal, although Gent nearly conceded from one.
13 December 2015
Dr desperate
As noted in my Bilston review, the handwritten setlist originally had 24HGP at the position eventually taken by Malayan Jelutong (with Mileage Chart first considered, then also crossed out). Without these changes the running order would have been: Garage, Shite, AOR, Light, giving a draw of AOR v Light, Garage v Shite.
Once again, in the current climate I hesitate to use the word skulduggery.
17 December 2015
Chris The Siteowner
24HGP as a set opener would have been a strange experience. On the Giant Set List Chart it’s rarely been seen in the first half of a gig, and almost never in the first half-dozen songs.
In advance of the results, I’ve been expanding my analysis of voting patterns in the earlier rounds. It’s quite intriguing, but one thing I’m seeing is that the number of people (recorded by IP address) who have voted in most matches is far smaller than I’d thought, and the number of ‘occasional’ voters is correspondingly larger. It does seem to be the case, however, that the overall results reflect the preferences of the most engaged voters surprisingly closely, despite their votes being a small percentage of the total. At the end of the tournament I’ll make the complete results available (without identifiable IP addresses) for all you data junkies to investigate.
18 December 2015