17 October 2015: After three weeks of voting, here are the final 32 songs chosen from the complete set of 192. An astonishing 1,400 people voted (well, 1,400 different IP addresses), generating an even more astonishing 199,796 match-ups. This meant that every song appeared in something like 2,000 contests, so there’s a decent chance that every song met every other song at least once. Amazing.
The average voter (or IP address) generated 140 contests. However, the median was more like 40, as a handful of people voted a ridiculous number of times. In the end, it doesn’t look like their superhuman efforts made a significant difference. 48 people voted just once. Was it that hard? So, here are our final 32 songs, in strictly alphabetical order.
- A Country Practice
- Adam Boyle Has Cast Lad Rock Aside
- All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
- Asparagus Next Left
- Bob Wilson – Anchorman
- Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets
- Depressed Beyond Tablets
- Descent Of The Stiperstones
- Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)
- Everything’s AOR
- Fix It So She Dreams Of Me
- For What Is Chatteris…
- Irk The Purists
- Joy Division Oven Gloves
- Lord Hereford’s Knob
- National Shite Day
- Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis
- Restless Legs
- Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools
- Running Order Squabble Fest
- Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years
- The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
- The Light at the End of the Tunnel
- The Trumpton Riots
- The Unfortunate Gwatkin
- Them’s The Vagaries
- Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not
- Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
- Twenty Four Hour Garage People
- We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune
- Westward Ho! – Massive Letdown
- When The Evening Sun Goes Down
Here are the full voting results.
Chris The Siteowner
Well, there you go folks. You voted, and 32 songs got through. A couple of my own favourites didn’t make it, but that’s always the way; I heard the band play one of them live the other night, and that’ll do for me.
In case people are wondering, my own Baguette Dilemma involved the interpretation of the original statement that the songs with the highest proportion of wins would go through. But should this mean the percentage of wins in all matches (including “skips”, or draws) …or just the the percentage of wins in matches where somebody made a choice? I decided on the latter, on the assumption that many people hitting “skip” were not indicating a draw, but perhaps just that they didn’t know one of the songs. Doing it this way will have made a small but significant difference, as I’m sure some stattos will point out in the post-tournament analysis.
So… what do you make of our finalists? A decent selection? Any surprises?
18 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
One more thing: to save anyone working it out, every album except one (Godcore) managed to get a song through to the last 32. And a couple of EP tracks sneaked in too. Here are the numbers:
90 Bisodol (Crimond) 3
Achtung Bono 6
Back Again in the DHSS 1
Back In The DHSS 2
Cammell Laird Social Club 4
CSI: Ambleside 3
Editor’s Recommendation 1
Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral 1
McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt 2
Saucy Haulage Ballads 1
This Leaden Pall 2
Trouble Over Bridgwater 2
Urge For Offal 3
Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road 1
“Godcore” really didn’t have a good tournament, with its best song only managing 68th position.
18 October 2015
Rubber Faced IRritant
It’s not a bad list is it? Chapeau to fellow Bicuiteers on such excellent choices.Most intrigued by the 6 newcomers from the 2 albums that weren’t around last time we did this. Worthy additions in the main, although I’m surprised by the popularity of Westward Ho! And sad to see some old favourites knocked off their perch – Look Dad and Lilac Harry Quinn. But a bit of controversy is surely part of the game.
18 October 2015
flintlock
I can see five in there that didn’t get any votes from me, and I don’t know what I’ll do if any of them get drawn together.
No Joy In Leeuwarden – what a let down.
18 October 2015
Cygnus
Thanks for doing this Chris, just brilliant.
My personal favourite makes the cut so I’m happy but several of my top ten (or thereabout)s just missed out.
Lord Hereford’s Knob ? Really! – that’s one I always skip.
Fear My Wraith at 122 ? You people are Philistines I demand a recount
Can’t wait for the knock outs…
18 October 2015
flintlock
An old purist would like to point out that there’s nothing from Back In The DHSS “as was”: Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus is the closest.
18 October 2015
Schoon
You think you are among the like-minded then you read the list. I count around 17 of the 32 that I would not have there. For me most of 36-49 should be there, Surging in particular. And of the 32, Stiperstones would be at 190+ for me. But being disappointed is what makes sport (surely this is a future Olympic one) real. Having supported England and Spurs for many years, Surging’s failure makes the competition all the more authentic. And what a band when a song as good as Epiphany is at 174.
Well done Chris!
I hate to be pedantic but when you say median (middle value) do you mean mean (add the values, divide by number of values).
18 October 2015
Schoon
Sorry I retract my pedantry and will learn to read properly.
18 October 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
I am simply stunned, stunned mind you, by the lack of love for Godcore. It’s vastly superior to the rest of those late-80s, early-90s albums (specifically Leaden Pall, ACD, and McIntyre), and most of all I’m stunned by the lack of love for “I, Trog.” Seriously? 183rd out of 192 songs? Mind, I’m not saying it should be in the 32, or even in the top 75 or 80, but 183rd? Really? You people are honestly saying there are only 9 HMHB songs worse than “I, Trog”? And “Moshpits” is only 131st? What world am I living in?
18 October 2015
Schoon
I hope the massive Probe Plus marketing machine don’t swoop on this, and force the band into playing 25 of the 32 each gig.
18 October 2015
flintlock
FTPS: you’re crazy.
18 October 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
Flintlock: You may be right, but come ON.
Steel Hearts, Moshpits, Fear My Wraith, 24.99, Trog, and Tour Jacket ALL in the bottom 92? Have me committed, immediately.
18 October 2015
bobby svarc
They’re a queer lot them HMHB lyrics types, Funday in the park at No.106!!….kinell
18 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Nice to see “Surging” and “Epiphany” lamented already; I raise a glass to your fine taste, Mr Schoon. My personal chart would also include sadly overlooked gems like “Improv” and “Tour Jacket” from the-period-which-nobody-seems-to-like, right up to last year’s “Old Age”. However, another song from the last couple of albums, which I genuinely thought was little appreciated other than by those of impeccable taste like me, has made the top 32, to my amazement. So let’s hear it for the plucky but sensitive outsiders off on a cup run.
18 October 2015
bobby svarc
I had one brief session on the LFC giggling pin and then gave up, Well done to CtSO for organising it though, a great effort. At least the mushrooms are almost ready
18 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
With you on Surging and Epiphany, Schoon, particularly as 6 January is my own personal national shite day. And as a fellow Spurs fan, I am familiar with the feeling you describe (although I am sure we are not alone in being reminded of our own team’s (mis)fortunes by the fate of 27 Yards in the Baguette Dilemma round).
18 October 2015
flintlock
Steve: Apart from Tour Jacket, I voted against all of those, every time I saw them. It’s my fault.
18 October 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
Lest my lamenting the lack of Godcore songs be misconstrued, I too am quite pleased to report that a number of personal favorites have indeed made the Immortal Thirty-Two. I shall reserve further whiny complaints until they have been winnowed down.
18 October 2015
Featureless tv producer steve
Pistols at dawn, Mr. Flintlock.
18 October 2015
bobby svarc
No Svarc in the top 32 either, or Vardy.
18 October 2015
WARDEN HODGES
Mushies on the boil, ever so slow.
18 October 2015
brumbiscuit
No Lilac Harry Quinn!
Throws toys out of pram…
18 October 2015
Gordo
It’s a fucking disgrace and I demand that the next time Breaking News is performed “people who voted in the Lux Familiar Cup for Lord Hereford’s Knob or against Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite and Hedley Verityesque” are added to the lyrics
Is this new Labour Mr Blair?
18 October 2015
peter mcornithologist
Vreni Schneider is distraught. Beware rampaging Mars Ultras.
18 October 2015
Eric olthwaite
Excellent list. There are only three that I’m actively not fond of, and if it was my own list I’d only change half a dozen by inserting some favourites. I can see some close-run bouts ahead!
18 October 2015
Schoon
Right back at you CtSO, Old Age is great, although one that’s better on record as opposed to live IMHO. Bob Todd, on the other hand, is better live. Has this been discussed elsewhere?
Jeff: yes finishing in the top 32 is better than a cup win these days. Although of course this is a cup so er….
18 October 2015
bengwy
Quite surprised at how satisfactory the final list is, there are a couple of eyebrow-raisers on there in Lord Hereford and Stiperstones but nothing egregious and while I’m wincing a bit at how cruelly close Lilac Harry Quinn and Little In The Way Of Sunshine came it’s nothing to the middle-aged rage and frustration I’d have felt if Depressed Beyond Tablets had been shut out. Overall it’s a testament to CTSO’s fine choice of selection process – anything chance of adopting something like this for General Elections?
18 October 2015
Schoon
How about 33 to 64 have a knockout to decide the emerging nations winner? Come on Chris there are 24 hours a day for you to use entertaining us.
18 October 2015
GOK WAN ACOLYTE
Shocked at how low “Mileage Chart” er, charted. Its day will come. And David Wainwright’s Feet at 188? I can only assume either the casual voter has not heard it or very few of us have kids – as to misquote the Jesuits, “show me the child of 5 who has heard David Wainwright’s Feet, and I’ll show you the Biscuit fan for life”
18 October 2015
Paul f
I suspect Godcore’s problem is its unavailability for periods (I only got my copy last week). Some of the lower ranked songs are stunning. Emerging from Gorse and Soft Verges being as low as they are does not auger well for mankind. And Uffington Wassail at 70? What’s that all about?
18 October 2015
Jo Bradley
Mr Caves a window cleaner now number 179?! What the fuck!!?
18 October 2015
WARDEN HODGES
Godcore was the album which made me a Biccy completest (late 90s) after going through my stadium rock phase 1987 to mid 90s. Picked mine up PP en route to Talacre, suffice to say I got drunk that night.
18 October 2015
Two fat feet
Well with 21 out of 32 making it again and five qualifying at the first attempt, who has had a massive fall from grace and who has enhanced their reputation the most despite the increased competition … well Vatican Broadside has suffered the worst, dropping from 29th place in the final rankings from 2011 to 91st in the qualifiers. Similarly big tumbles for the football pairing from Godcore and the cruelly-exposed Secret Gig. Paintball is a bit of a surprise casualty, the highest-placed from 2011 to fail to qualify this time round. Biggest surprise qualifier based on 2011 performance would be Asparagus, which trailed in 7th in its qualifying group last time.
I was a bit surprised at one or two of the newcomers; I certainly can’t see what puts Adam Boyle in such high esteem, but it’s a consensus view of course. Hugely disappointed in the performances of particular favourites RSVP (although the album version isn’t a patch on the original session version), Quality Janitor, Nove On The Sly and Ted Moult. But there is some justice as the supreme Damnation, cruelly denied its place on the plane to Luxembourg in 2011 by the vagaries of the competition format, now has the chance to let me down properly.
18 October 2015
Two fat feet
Yeah I know I got the maths wrong at the start, it’s twenty returning and six qualifying at the first attempt. You probably wouldn’t even have noticed if I hadn’t fessed up.
18 October 2015
Two fat feet
And I completely missed that Tour Jacket crashed even more impressively than Broadside, from 26th at the 2011 Finals to 100th in the 2015 qualifiers. I’ll get back to work now and leave you in peace.
18 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
A stunning performance by The Trumpton Riots EP (5-track version), which has produced two qualifiers: DPAK, and Riots itself.
Looking at nos. 33-64, I wouldn’t half fancy a plate competition.
18 October 2015
Stringy BOB
Will someone explain how Architecture And Morality And Ted And Alice is THAT low?
Please
Pretty please
18 October 2015
Hazelsound
Some great songs here, but several I’m really surprised by. Westward Ho! and Adam Boyle don’t seem obvious choices from UFO – glad to see Gwatkin, but no Teenage Bride (awesome at the Forum) or Outstretched Arms. Also mourning lack of Something Rotten, Evil Gazebo, Tour Jacket, Paintball, Faithlift, Steel Hearts, Footprints (concede it’s a punchline song, but love it anyway for its VU sound), Lilac Harry Quinn, and Time Flies By. Ok, so I could go on in an increasingly pointless way (such is subjectivity). But this is fun. And it’s Sunday.
18 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
A case of “let’s forget about the open-top bus ride” for many of my favourites here.
Speaking of which, it’s a particular shame to see Saucy Haulage Ballads so woefully underrepresented. No Jarg Armani, and no Blood on the Quad to light up the latter stages of the tournament with the unparalleled brilliance of “Can you hear Talvin Singh?”.
18 October 2015
Beltane beard
Really surprised to see the merely ok Lord Hereford’s Knob in the knockout stages, especially when you consider that great songs like “L’Enfer….” and “…Fred Titmus” didn’t make it.
And there’s the eternal mystery of “A Country Practice” too; never seen the appeal of it myself, other than the weathermen lyric. Delighted to see the far superior “Thy Damnation..” in there though.
Await with bated breath the draw for the next round!
18 October 2015
peter mcornithologist
Time to raise studs on th
18 October 2015
Hazelsound
Country Practice is a bit of a mystery to me too…been pondering that since the 2011 results. Thought it might not make the 32 this time – obviously resilient.
18 October 2015
Martin a
Some great songs just failing to make the last 32. Surprised Ecclesiastical Perks is the worst ‘proper’ song
18 October 2015
Grze
I almost cant believe that korfball Leeuwarden and football Budapest didn’t make it to top 32 but at least it wasn’t total letdown and nice to have holliday Westward Ho qualified!
18 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
PeterMc: Are OK? or just ran out of ink?
18 October 2015
peter mcornithologist
Fine Bobby. Got a gob on when Australia got the last minute winner. The nent.
18 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
We’re all cheering on Argentina down here, Still lots of them using the County for their world cup base. I’d like one of their shirts, but I’m a strong believer in grown men (over 21) wearing replica shirts of any description, anyway it’s dangerously like Chaventry’s.
18 October 2015
counterblast to Agnosticism
I could list some of my issues with the final list, but there’s plenty of good stuff there. Besides, this is what happens when you leave a decision up to the general public. I’ll save my outrage for the later rounds.
18 October 2015
Mr galbraith
Another major tournament ruined by corruption and bribery. That surely can be the only explanation as to how both Vitas Gueralitis and Adam Boyle made the cut. Suggest the ethics committee gets involved ASAP.
18 October 2015
EXXO
Been trying to distance meself from all this as, like so many are saying, I can get very ‘L’enfer C’est Les Autres’ about those with the peccable tastes, but ….
@ Peter (post 154 above). I remember in one of my Dylan phases I developed a scoring system to try to determine the greatest Dylan song and to try to divorce that concept as best as I could from my “favourite” – there were marks out of ten for about five categories – musical originality (at time of release), memorable melody & sing-a-long-a-bility, lyrical cleverness, lyrical humour, hard-hitting satire, making you think, etc.
And rather boringly ‘Like a Rolling Stone’ did eventually ‘win’ for me, so maybe that’s a confirmation of the obvious truth that the artist often does know what their best songs are, especially when they have been living with them for decades.
My guess is that Crossley & Blackwell would run a mile from the idea of this competition but that at the same time they would be gratified that all their hard work was acknowledged and weighed up by people who love their stuff. I bet Neil is particularly proud of his recent ‘Adam Boyle’ tune, and though he would surely never admit it I guess he’d be glad to know it’s right up there.
Meanwhile Mr. B told me last year that the band have never done more work on developing any song, ever, than on ‘Mileage Chart’ – obvious really when you think about it since it must have taken an awful lot of work to adopt such a new style of playing – and it’s such a heartfelt special statement of his outlook too that it will mean a lot to those who find inspiration in his … dare I say it …. life choices. So perhaps he might wish that particular work to have been even more highly appreciated in terms of its ‘chart placing’…. but he knows the game by now & he wouldn’t admit to being arsed either way of course.
It would be great to hope, as GWA does in post 194 above, that ‘Mileage Chart’ will receive its deserved critical accolades in future years. Perhaps one day it could be covered & recorded by/with some really tight funksters and/or electronica-types who really ‘got’ the song and could really nail those rhythms …. and wouldn’t you love to hear some folk ensemble – say Eliza Carthy etc – have a go at ‘Adam Boyle’, (though all that would require would be to ‘give it some welly’ and they couldn’t really go wrong could they? Maybe the Fifth Biscuit could get a brass band involved as well.
So anyway Chris, is this turning into the 2015-16 Cup, or please tell me it’s all going to be over by Xmas.
18 October 2015
toastkid
Not suprised to see Visitor For Mr Edmunds in the bottom slot, but am surprised to see £24.99 From Argos not keeping it company.
19 October 2015
Nige
Did I actually have to vote “draw” or “skip” for it to register as a draw or did the match that came up when I decided I’d wasted enough time and logged off get counted as a draw? Not that it matters one iota, but just curious.
(Yes, you’d have to click “skip” for it to register – CtSO)
19 October 2015
Dave Cooper
27 Yards can count itself unlucky having the same win percentage as the song in 32nd. I assume this was decided on a further decimal place?
19 October 2015
paul f
I will add my astonishment on Mileage Chart – I expect it had a 60% plus win percentage whenever it appeared on my screen. Maybe even 70% plus.
19 October 2015
Hazelsound
An entire weekend listening to HMHB, as told by my teen looking up from her phone. Surely the right result for the LFC. Changed our minds a million times about which songs we like best (and daughter had an opinion on this too) – do you go with gut (guessing not on this site), or do you need carefully considered criteria (ref. 214)? When I think about my top HMHB ditties it’s often a case of irresistible baselines or/and lyrical dexterity – but there are too many exceptions to this as I discovered when working through the back catalogue. Genius songwriters/musicians get mutilated when pushed through formulae (too much nuance in HMHB)….so I guess it’s back to gut.
This is all great though Chris – thanks for making our weekend…and many more to come I hope.
19 October 2015
SERA69
Well, this one needs to go to the TMO! No Totnes, Paintball, Surging? Surely not the top 32, rather the most common 32 to appear against weaker opposition. I shall be voting for the horrendous Gwatkin and Stiperstones as mollification. Recount! Rematch! Redraw! Redress! Repeal! Repent! grumble grumble etc. etc. Thoroughly entertaining stuff!
19 October 2015
Stringy bob
I don’t understand the “WIN %”
Taking the Number 1 position in the list as an example:
Win 1621 = 79.85%
Draw 97 = 4.78%
Loss 312 = 15.37%
How does that translate to a WIN of 83.9%… or am I missing something obvious? And yes, this anomaly is replicated across the table so I am missing something I am sure…
(See my comment about this dilemma above – CtSO)
19 October 2015
Stringy bob
Ah I see, I missed that in amongst the 200 comments. Cheers.
When’s the draw?
19 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Dave C – you’re right. The song at 32 had 1272 wins vs 715 losses, so 64.02%. The song just missing out at 33 (27 Yards Of Dental Floss) had 1208 wins vs 680 losses, so 63.98%. So how many more wins would it have needed to make it into the top 32? Just 1, it turns out (1209 wins vs 679 losses is 64.04%). I did say that despite the huge number of votes, every one counted. I didn’t realise quite how true that would turn out to be.
Paul F – they are exactly the other three songs I’d have pulled out as being big disappointments for me (apart from the two mentioned by Schoon). Oh well, we can congratulate each other on our good taste.
Bob – We need an entertaining idea for the draw. Anyone got any suggestions? An event this week, maybe, where we tie each song to a competitor and place them into the draw according to their finishing positions? Or something even more outlandish? And should we have a separate draw for every round, FA Cup style, or just put everyone into a chart where we know in advance that the winner of match A plays the winner of match B, etc., World Cup style?
19 October 2015
Stringy bob
Chris I am STRONGLY of the opinion that the draw should be based on voting to date. Whilst this does mean giving away the positions in the table I (like many others I’d imagine) would hate the idea of say JDOG drawing Trumpton in the first round proper and seeing one of those go out whilst a song that cannot possibly win long-term goes through.
I may be wrong, but I’d guess only 7 or 8 stand a realistic shot of winning overall … so should the songs simply be seeded 1 – 32 and drawn to the final to ensure the final 8 are the ones who make it through? Or do you go all FA cup and therefore totally random so that the scenario I mentioned above could happen and everyone bemoans the fact that Chatteris is drawn against NSD in rd1?
And one key question … are we now into a one vote per tie scenario? (I hope so)
19 October 2015
EXXO
7 songs stand a chance – if the final winner isn’t one of the 7 songs with the lowest ‘skip’ percentage in the Q round, I’ll eat my chapeau. They are obviously the songs with crews who are there to support them and skipped other minor league tussles … and of course rival crews waiting round the corner to kick their provincial little heads in.
19 October 2015
paul f
My ire is gradually being distilled down to the fact that the cloth-eared populace of this corner of the web are unwilling to acknowledge that Trouble Over Bridgwater is the Biscuits’ Magnum Opus. Wassail at 70? Gazebo at 81? Goth at 103? Gorse at 137? Fisher at 142? Nove at 171?
OK I’ll give you that Slight Reprise and Visitor for Mr Edmonds somewhat self select at 191 and 192, but the rest of the album is a fucking masterpiece. Garage was obviously going to make the top 32, but to have only Irk in the knockout stages with it is mind-blowing. Irk isn’t even in the best 10 tracks on the album IMO (which says more about the quality of the album than of the song).
Maybe this all just makes me the titular purist being irked.
19 October 2015
paul f
I’m for a random draw – going with seedings based on the Baguette Dilemma results would make the whole process largely pointless – you might as well just print the top 32 and have done with it.
19 October 2015
EXXO
making mischief I’ll propose
1 v. 17
2. v 18 😉 tasty
3. v. 19
etc
19 October 2015
Stringy bob
Why don’t we just declare NSD the winner and not bother? 🙂
19 October 2015
EXXO
@ Paul – the HMHBLP is full of bad wools.
But they have at least cheered me up by helping confirm that CLSC is the most consistent album – I think apart from Viking Stavanger at 190, which isn’t going to get anyone pressing ‘skip’ really is it, the lowest song off that record is something like 130, and apart from that no songs at all in ‘the bottom half’.
19 October 2015
paul f
I was also tempted to assess the comparative consistencies of their albums Exxo, but then I remembered that somebody was paying me to do other, less interesting stuff. Hey ho.
Yes – CLSC should certainly be close to the top of the tree album-wise, and I also can’t argue that Achtung Bono deserves its heavy representation. But the under-representation of ToB will have me shouting obscenities from steeples for years to come.
19 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
I agree with Paul F. The LFC is already in danger of being too predictable, and seedings would obviously make it more so.
How about a handicapping system next time, where only 1 in 10 votes for Chatteris or A Country Practice counts, and Slight Reprise votes are multiplied by 100, say? I for one would love to see plucky little Stavenger making it all the way to the final.
19 October 2015
emerging from GORSE
It’s really rather dispiriting to see just how woefully under-appreciated Godcore is. I guess it’s just down to a general lack of awareness/familiarity. There can’t be many stronger runs of consecutive tracks on one album than Wraith/Styx Gig/Friday Night/Trog.
But then it seems there are a lot of people with short memories on here. This Leaden Pall, a masterpiece from start to finish, the album by which all others should be measured, provides only 2 of the 32. Scandalous.
Another thing… for all that Achtung Bono is a wonderful record, containing several stonking tracks, why does it seem to be so revered in the overall scheme of things? Asparagus, JDOG & Trad. Arr. Tune are rather ordinary (by Biscuit standards of course).
Papworth General 121st?! Whit Week Malarkey 111th?! Uffington Wassail 70th?!
I love having something to whinge about.
19 October 2015
EXXO
Ah, opinions, opinions. I would nod along with this entire paragraph, “for all that Achtung Bono is a wonderful record, containing several stonking tracks, why does it seem to be so revered in the overall scheme of things? ______, ______ and ________ are rather ordinary (by Biscuit standards of course)”, if we put in three of the other AB tracks that have made the top 32 rather than the three works of particular genius you mention.
I mean that all 193 are works of genius, but so many comments on here just make me sad that people just don’t GET IT ALL.
I mean, let’s say you love ‘Chatteris’ fine, it’s great. But it’s not hiding anything from me that I don’t get, whereas other songs clearly are hiding an awful lot from an awful lot of people that they don’t get. VERY SAD.
19 October 2015
Stringy bob
So the consensus is … no consensus, which rather sounds like a HMHB song title and has therefore created a smile on my stupid face.
19 October 2015
warwick Hunt
I agree with all of the above.
19 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
If only you guys could see the Top 32, you wouldn’t write off the result. There are songs from last time’s top 10 which haven’t got near the top 20 this time, and a very, very different looking top 10.
Good point from Paul F et al about seeding rather making the knockout round pointless (“you might as well just print the top 32 and have done with it”) but also I get that we don’t want Bayern vs Barcelona in the first round. So maybe we should seed the top 8 or top 16 to keep them apart, but still have a random draw?
19 October 2015
EXXO
Hmm, sounds good. So I’m surmising maybe that at least the obvious “big 2” from each of the last 2 albums have made it into the top ten or so? Nice one, cos again in response to comment #154 I would say that if I was an artist, I’d want to know that my latest work was being properly appreciated alongside the old favourites.
19 October 2015
paul f
I could probably live with a seeding of the first knockout round only, but real life sport features all kinds of variables on the day, so seeding isn’t the end of the story. In a voting competition with “wisdom of crowds” in full effect (which cannot predict lottery numbers Derren Brown you fucking charlatan) seeding makes for boring predictability.
19 October 2015
Matty
Gwatkin’s in there; all I was worried about.. ‘mon the Gwatkin!
x
19 October 2015
Beltane beard
I’m still trying to come to terms with Numanoid Hang-glide only making number 156, not to mention the magnificent Doreen seventeen places below it.
In fact, a lot of songs from This Leaden Pall performed poorly; what a shame, it’s definitely my favourite HMHB album.
19 October 2015
pAddy
My favourite song comes in at 89, my second at 122.
I despair.
19 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
I vote for a draw for each round, but seeding the top eight so they don’t meet before the quarters. It’ll be anyone’s* guess who the seeds are. If a plucky underdog causes an upset (the Magic of the Cup™), it should become a seed for the Round-of-16 draw.
*except Septic Bladder’s (sorry CtSO).
19 October 2015
TWo fat feet
No seeding, each round drawn after the previous is completed.
On Radio 2 at 1230 on Monday.
19 October 2015
EXXO
Thursday evening is the 30th anniversary of a lot of us first hearing a HMHB record (on John Peel). You could have the draw then in celebration. Link it in some way to the Europa League results?
Alas I shall be on a plane or enduring a quite disappointing transit in Copenhagen airport.
(I remember Peel reading out the arrangements and then results for two very special football tournaments I organised the following year (1986). It was the height of Glasnost and the fashion was for naming park football teams after East European outfits. I organised a tournament for such like-minded clubs, and demand was so great I had to do it twice. When he first read out the arrangements his exact words were:
“I can’t be there meself as I shall be going to the place in Sweden where my washing machine was made [Husqvarna], but Special Branch are on their way Nigel.”
Someone from Probe heard about the event on the programme and immediately entered a HMHB team … who never quite all got it together to get on the bus for our mayday weekend at Clapham Common, and so missed out on prizes handed out by a tearful Soviet ambassador. I am sure that Dukla Probe would have pipped SK Sputnik Norwood to the trophy had they been arsed )
20 October 2015
EXXO
1987 that was in fact now that I think about it – hence the height of Glasnost and a very emotional Soviet dignitary.
20 October 2015
EXXO
And maybe it was Peel’s fridge not his washing machine. The memory plays tricks, and the cassette with it on has been mislaid.
20 October 2015
Hazelsound
An aside: ref 219
Depressed Beyond Tablets that I can’t spell bass line (at least based on evidence in post 219). The pedant in me cannot let this go…but having written this post (further exposing a mistake I should just ignore) I now know how the mistake came about. I wrote bassline as one word (never again – always two words from now on…I concede the mistake in this respect), and my anally recalcitrant spell checker changed it automatically to ‘baseline’. I didn’t notice this happen…and just now I had to override it 3 times before it let me write bassline (and again!) as one word. Bass line.
So, all this to say that I do love Neil Crossley’s bass and that it might influence my song choice at times.
Hopefully this will not disqualify me from voting (though other things might…).
Spell check switched off.
20 October 2015
Simon C
Oh dear… most of my favourites wouldn’t be in the knockout even if you’d gone for 64 songs rather than 32. Sad to see so few from early 90s trilogy MT&D, TLP and SCiG in the final stages, and I’m amazed to discover that people here think there are only 25 songs worse than “Malayan Jelutong” whereas I might just be able to think of 25 which are better – but it would be a struggle. I’ll have to put more effort into my voting in four years time – I listened to far too many on Spotify before deciding which delayed me, as did the expiration of my computer’s power supply unit which killed off plans for another evening of HMHB choices. Ah well.
If it were me, I think I’d go for the seeding idea for the next round – 8 only, but that would give a reward to all those tunes which got a higher than 3 to 1 win/lose ratio (or 75% as you call it).
20 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
That’s good to know, Chris (comment 237). In which case, please disregard my comment about predictability and my flippant handicapping suggestion. I shouldn’thave presumed the intentions of the voters (a lesson I should probably have learned back in May).
20 October 2015
paul f
@DiQ – do you suggest heated balls?
20 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
OK, I reckon there’s a general feeling that we should have a fresh draw for each round, and a small amount of seeding (but in this round only). Exxo’s come up with a splendid idea of linking it to the Europa League on 30th Anniversary First Broadcast Night (we’ll take his word for it being so). So here’s the plan. Each song will be represented on Thursday night by a different team. After the matches have been played, we’ll rank each team from 1 to 32 by performance (using goal difference on the night, then goals scored, then by closeness to the Wirral as a tie-breaker). The best performing team’s song will play the worst, second-best will play the 31st, etc.
The unpredictability which is part of the game’s appeal will mean that we don’t have proper seeding where the top songs must be kept apart, but we can push them that way a little. Perhaps. So, here we go: Ajax will represent Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets; Anderlecht = Westward Ho! – Massive Letdown; APOEL Nicosia = Asparagus Next Left; Athletic Bilbao = The Unfortunate Gwatkin; Augsburg = Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis; AZ Alkmaar = Irk The Purists; Basel = All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit; Bordeaux = We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune; Borussia Dortmund = National Shite Day; Braga = Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off; Celtic = Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years; Dnipro = When The Evening Sun Goes Down; Fenerbahce = For What Is Chatteris…; Fiorentina = Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled); FK Krasnodar = Restless Legs; Lazio = Everything’s AOR; Legia Warsaw = Descent Of The Stiperstones; Liverpool = Them’s The Vagaries; Lokomotiv = The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman; Marseille = Fix It So She Dreams Of Me; Molde = Lord Hereford’s Knob; Monaco = Twenty Four Hour Garage People; Napoli = The Trumpton Riots; PAOK Salonika = Depressed Beyond Tablets; Partizan Belgrade = Adam Boyle Has Cast Lad Rock Aside; Plzen = Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not; Rapid Vienna = Running Order Squabble Fest; Schalke 04 = Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools; Slovan Liberec = Bob Wilson – Anchorman; Sporting Lisbon = The Light at the End of the Tunnel; Tottenham = A Country Practice; and Villarreal will be playing their socks off on behalf of Joy Division Oven Gloves.
20 October 2015
toastkid
Mad genius. Love it.
20 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
Is the almost illegal Elton Welsby going to have a crack? He is, you know… OH, I SAY! Brilliant! That… is… Schoolboys’ Own stuff!
20 October 2015
Jeff Dreadnought
Chris, Exxo: that really is a Frank Zappa of an idea.
20 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
@Paul F – No.
20 October 2015
Dickhead in quicksand
Closeness to Wirral as the quartering crow flies or from a mileage chart.
Excellent idea btw.
20 October 2015
paul f
@DiQ – Ah yes, the old “Veet for Men” review. Eye-watering stuff.
20 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
Crappa?
20 October 2015
peter mcornithologist
Saddened to hear that Lord Herefords knob has turned Molde.
20 October 2015
EXXO
Ooh but you’re missing out on the pre-draw possibilities here, surely? To avoid accusations of bias about the distances and the varying ability / varying oppositions of the teams, you really need a draw before KO to match the songs to the teams.
And is it ‘Wirral’ as in the nearest border of the present council area, the actual geographical peninsula or the ancient hundred (which goes almost within sight of the walls of Chester)? And will it be measured from the grounds? … could make all the difference.
But it could be better & easier if your tie-breakers (which I’d say you’ll be needing quite a lot) were say total shots (on and off target), then corners won – stats which are available on many sites (but will often vary a lot from site to site, so you could go for uefa.com’s official match stats (available on there not long after final whistles)
20 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
It’s however far Google Maps says it is. By foot. There. I’ve decided.
20 October 2015
Two fat feet
I may not be thinking this through properly but if one tie has a bigger margin of victory than any other, does that not put the songs for those two teams together in the draw? Thus the draw may be partly-made already.
20 October 2015
Warwick hunt
Chris – how did you decide which 32 of the 48 teams in Europa League action on Thursday to use? Apologies if I’ve missed something obvious.
(I just picked the better ones, fairly arbitrarily – CtSO)
20 October 2015
nordic ski widow
All very exciting, but no Godcore in the last 32? I hoped Fear My Wraith’s recent performance off the bench in Sheffield might have secured a place but alas not.
20 October 2015
Kendo nagasaki
Alas the numbers of those for whom their introduction to hmhb was through Godcore are extremely low. It will forever I fear, even in this exalted company, be a favourite shared by few.
20 October 2015
Dirk Hofman
Good to see passions running high for tracks and albums,my faves filled the top 192 places..thanks CtSO I enjoyed the BD qualifiers and love the premise of the next round,fan-t-arsey football couldn’t be better..
21 October 2015
Mark
I love Lord Hereford’s Knob. There, I said it.
“my faves filled the top 192 places” – exactly, Dirk. My thoughts entirely
21 October 2015
Bill Smith
It’s a game of opinions Brian, but fucking hell! No Floreat Inertia? And what sort of electorate ignore Dickie Davies Eyes?
21 October 2015
Seany mac
I’m with you Featureless TV Producer Steve – what’s with the Godcore phobia, and the lack of love for I, Trog? Same goes for Brian May… Tchoh!
Superb tournament Chris, nice one.
22 October 2015
counterblast to Agnosticism
If you’re using distance as a tie-breaker, it has to be from Prenton Park, surely?
22 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
According to Google Maps, for travel directions, the Wirral is just down the end of this road and over the field a little way.
22 October 2015
counterblast to Agnosticism
To save the productivity of the country, those who want to follow along this evening may find this spreadsheet useful.
You should be able to download your own copy from there. There may be errors, feel free to let me know (or fix them 😉 )
All distances according to Google, walking from Prenton Park. Provided as a distraction only, actual results are the decision of CtsO etc. etc.
(You, my friend, are an absolute genius. Virtual Biscuit award winging its way over – CtSO)
22 October 2015
Bobby SVARC
If you’re using distance as a tie-breaker, it has to be from The Cow Sheds in Nigel’s front room, surely?
22 October 2015
nordic ski widow
Thanks Chris, you’ve actually found a way to make the Europa League engaging. Hopefully a few of the players realise how significant their efforts tonight could be. And conversely, hopefully no one lets in a couple of goals to manipulate the LFC draw and give their particular fave tune an easy looking tie…
22 October 2015
SERA69
Klopp for the Kop?? Them’s the vagaries… Augurs well for an LFC trophy. LFC for LFC!
22 October 2015
counterblast to Agnosticism
Late consolation goal against National Shite Day.
As Nordic Ski Widow suggests, this has added a whole new angle to otherwise fairly mundane Thursday night football (no offence to those involved).
22 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Oh heck, it’s changing all the time, but on CTA’s amazing spreadsheet I’m currently seeing The Light At The End Of The Tunnel being drawn against When The Evening Sun Goes Down. Whose idea was it to have a random draw? It wasn’t meant to be like this!
Mind you, I never thought it could be such good entertainment watching a spreadsheet.
22 October 2015
counterblast to Agnosticism
Perversely, it’s even entertaining updating it.
22 October 2015
gok wan acolyte
Very worried by prospect of “light at the end of the tunnel” v “Fix It….”which seems to be the current line up.
22 October 2015
Warwick hunt
TUCOLO vs ACP……..you’ve got to be kidding. Monster, monster clash.
22 October 2015
Chris The Siteowner
Thanks to CTA for bringing the draw to life. Great fun.
Next: The Last 32
22 October 2015