It’s the seventh qualifying group in The Lux Familiar Cup – in which readers of The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project choose their favourite songs of all time. Voting on this album closed on Sat 26 March 2011, and the results from this qualifying group are below. Some 479 votes were cast; not for the first time we had a runaway winner, but we also had one of the tightest-ever battles for second place and automatic qualification to the Round of 32. One for the studio team to get their teeth into, I suspect. It’s still possible for the plucky loser to qualify, but by no means guaranteed.
Qualified for last 32
1. A Country Practice (20.3%)
2. Secret Gig (11.5%)
In the race for the fastest losers:
3. Four Skinny Indie Kids (11.1%)
4. You’re Hard (10.2%)
5. Turn A Blind Eye (9.6%)
The voting may be over, but I’m sure the post-match analyses are only just beginning.
Chris The Siteowner
One of my more obscure favourite songs appears in this group, but I’m not holding out any hope of seeing it challenge the big guns. I’ll have a cold shower.
12 March 2011
Toffo 78 Huyton
I agree, if you mean ‘Soft Verges’ then yeah, a great song but it will get bombed out of the LF Cup.
12 March 2011
smithsocksimon
A really tough one. Country Practice is a shoo-in, but what else to choose. Currently verging towards Chevrons, Skinny Indie Kids, Henry Rollins and a Blind Eye. But that could change once I listen again.
12 March 2011
Neil G
This is very, very difficult. All the songs on this album are at least very good. Some are brilliant. A Country Practice is a shoo-in. But what’s to go with it? I’ve got three competing for the runner’s up position. Soft Verges is one of my all time favourites for the lines:
‘He’s seen me, and we both realise
That we’re going to have to put into operation
The tricky manoeuvre that is
Acknowledgement without breaking stride’
and for the way it illustrates the despair of a life of unemployment. It is superb.
Split Single contains one of the best HMHB lines ever – ‘I blew my Giro on debts and essentials’. Genius. For that alone, I must vote for it.
Lastly, Turn A Blind Eye, a list of unnecessary folks whose disappearance few of us would be concerned about or even notice. Could we add nail technicians to the roster? Apologies to all you HMHB fans who are nail technicians. No response? What’s the matter? Are they all hiding behind the wardrobe?
12 March 2011
Neil G
Hmm, SmithshockSimon must have been writing at the same time as I was. It’s interesting that we both used the term ‘shoo-in’ to describe A Country Practice’s chances in the cup. Let’s see if we’re right.
12 March 2011
Neil G
Ouch, sorry Simon. A stray ‘h’ appeared in your name. Please treat it like a dog on the pitch – out of place but a radiator of warmth.
12 March 2011
Gregg Z
I’m wondering if “Children of Apocalyptic Techstep” will prove to be as criminally underrated a song as I suspect it might be. It appears to be the case from the early returns.
12 March 2011
Max Williams
I voted for everything except You’re Hard, i couldn’t bring myself to not vote for the likes of Multitude even though it’s not one of my favourite tracks off the album. I realise that voting for (almost) everything renders my vote useless.
Still want to work out what those heavily effected lyrics are in the middle of Ready Steady Goa….Chris, this song’s not done yet!
13 March 2011
Ian McYavelly
The incumbent Countryside Alliance candidate may be feeling quietly confident, reports Ian McYavelly from the key Wirral marginals, but the battle for the second seat could depend on some unpredictable tactical voting.
The most recent poll (conducted by Poorsods Ltd for the Wirral Globe) shows that national issues are reflected here in this microcosm of a divided nation. Indie Kids and Secret Gig could easily split the musical satire vote; meanwhile You’re Hard and Turn a Blind Eye could similary divide those who want to register a protest vote against a plethora of annoying celebrity twats.
So supporters of UK Introspective Party candidate Soft Verges are quietly daring to whisper the possibility of a shock. I went to the local precinct to meet a spokesman who told me what people think. “We believe,” he told me, “that if the silent majority who believe that Soft Verges is an exceptional track but has little chance of qualifying turn out this week and if they vote tactically for this candidate and no other, or if they must for both Soft Verges and A Country Practice, then this outstandingly able candidate has a very decent chance of going on to represent the Wirral in Europe. A result which would resonate from the Wirral way beyond the corridors of Westminster and Whitehall, all the way over to Brussels and then as quickly as possible into that great little bar just off the Old Square that has 1001 different beers.” The spokesman pauses conspiratorially, before whispering “That’s where I worked out that Soft Verges is an anagram of ‘goes fer STV’. ”
“Do it for Gary !” said the hirsute spokesman, before disappearing into Millets in an emotionally charged state. Gary was the UK Introspective Party’s only previous elected representative, who tragically committed suicide in 1997, diving from the seventh floor of his Wirral Council offices after allegations of Blue Badge abuse.
“It’s time to throw the script out the window,” Soft Verges supporters are telling the voters.”Brussels has always been out of tune with Birkenhead. We’re off-beat and now it’s time to get out of the fast lane and go off-track – and we won’t let Europe tell us we need roll-bars or multi-grain bars. Don’t give Soft Verges the hard shoulder.”
13 March 2011
Steve Nicholls
I’ve voted using the criteria of impossibly catchy tune (Split Single), the familiar theme of poking fun at too-serious bands (Secret Gig), isolated lyrics which typify the brilliance of NB (Country Practice, Split Single) and simplistic humour which you can play to your mates without troubling them with obscurist references (You’re Hard)
13 March 2011
Daryl
I agree with Gregg Z that ‘Children of Apocalyptic Techstep’ is brilliant. I loved it even when I couldn’t make out about 60% of the lyrics. ‘Ready Steady Goa’ is another favourite of mine, as well as ‘Secret Gig’. Damnit that song ROCKS.
13 March 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Max: “I realise that voting for (almost) everything renders my vote useless.”
Not true – it might help with getting more songs from the album through as fastest losers!
13 March 2011
Norbert D
My new car sticker: “DON’T BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR ‘SOFT VERGES’.”
Just need a car now.
15 March 2011
smithsocksimon
On reflection, Soft Verges is a work of pure brilliance and gets my vote, with Country Practice and Chevrons.
16 March 2011
Chris The Siteowner
It’s a shame Soft Verges got drawn in such a strong group. It’s currently lagging in sixth place, but get a dozen of your mates to vote for it and it goes into the automatic promotion slots. Things are that close!
16 March 2011
Toffo 78
Two extra gigs added. Edinburgh and Kendal.
16 March 2011
big mick
soft verges
i know that road well
18 March 2011