The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Welcome to The Lux Familiar Cup – in which readers of The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project choose their favourite songs of all time. In the Group Stage, we went through the albums one by one, and voted through two or three from each album into the last 32 (the top two for sure, along with a bunch of highest-polling runners-up; very European Championship-like, eh?). Then it was a straight knockout all the way to Wembley (with a fine warm-up played by the band at Shepherds Bush the night before).

If you want to go straight to a list of what the competition determined were the 32 best songs, contributor Two Fat Feet did some post-competition analysis here. And if you want to watch the now-almost-legendary draw for the Last 32 Round, it’s here.

The Group Stage

• Results Summary

• The Lux Familiar Cup: Achtung Bono
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Back Again in the DHSS
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Back in the DHSS
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Cammell Laird Social Club
• The Lux Familiar Cup: CSI:Ambleside
• The Lux Familiar Cup: EPs, Peel Sessions and other songs
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral
• The Lux Familiar Cup: McIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Some call it Godcore
• The Lux Familiar Cup: This Leaden Pall
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Trouble Over Bridgwater
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road

Last 32 Knockout Round

• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Results
  One or two scores were close enough that they must have gone to penalty shootouts (“great drama and no pressure on the ref”), and there’s bound to be as many glum faces on the terraces as there will be delighted small children skipping gaily home.
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 16
  Surging out of Convalescence vs. Paintball’s Coming Home
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 15
  I was a Teenage Armchair Honved Fan vs. Vatican Broadside
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 14
  National Shite Day vs. Everything’s AOR
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 13
  Running Order Squabble Fest vs. When The Evening Sun Goes Down
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 12
  The Bastard son of Dean Friedman vs. Secret Gig
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 11
  We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. Tune vs. Joy Division Oven Gloves
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 10
  Dickie Davies Eyes vs. The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 9
  Irk The Purists vs. A Country Practice
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 8
  All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit vs. The Trumpton Riots
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 7
  For What Is Chatteris… vs. Twenty Four Hour Garage People
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 6
  4AD3DCD vs. Bob Wilson – Anchorman
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 5
  Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis vs. Monmore, Hare’s Running
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 4
  Friday Night And The Gates Are Low vs. Even Men With Steel Hearts (Love To See A Dog On The Pitch)
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 3
  Them’s The Vagaries vs. Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 2
  Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled) vs. Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 1
  Tour Jacket with Detachable Sleeves vs. Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Draw
  Live on YouTube under the auspices of two major celebrities, here is the draw for the Round of 32 in the The Lux Familiar Cup. Some corkingly good matches in prospect, I’m sure you’ll agree, including an all-big-four tie and some intriguing local derbies.

Last 16 Knockout Round

• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Results
  More giants fall by the wayside as we get to the sharp end. There’ll be a lot of very disappointed diehards trudging home tonight.
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 8
  Vatican Broadside vs. Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 7
  Paintball’s Coming Home vs. Them’s The Vagaries
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 6
  Joy Division Oven Gloves vs. The Bastard son of Dean Friedman
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 5
  Monmore, Hare’s Running vs. When The Evening Sun Goes Down
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 4
  The Trumpton Riots vs. Friday Night And The Gates Are Low
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 3
  A Country Practice vs. Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 2
  For What Is Chatteris… vs. National Shite Day
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Match 1
  The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train) vs. Bob Wilson – Anchorman
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 16 Knockout Round – Draw
  For the Last 16 Knockout Round of the The Lux Familiar Cup, we’ve handed it over to a computer to make the draw and the video of the announcement too.

Quarter-Finals

• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Results
  While everyone will be disappointed that some of their own favourite songs haven’t made it this far, it probably should be said that we’ve got ourselves a good spread of semi-finalists. One song from the 80s, one from the 90s, and two from the, er, 2000s.
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Match 4
  Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled) vs. For What Is Chatteris…
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Match 3
  When The Evening Sun Goes Down vs. The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Match 2
  The Trumpton Riots vs. Joy Division Oven Gloves
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Match 1
  A Country Practice vs. Them’s The Vagaries
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Quarter Finals – Draw
  For the Quarter Finals draw for the The Lux Familiar Cup, we thought we’d have a bit of direction from the kids, and a bit of input from the computer.

Semi-Finals

• The Lux Familiar Cup: Semi Finals – Results
  TV schedules are thrown into chaos as both matches go into extra-time; cue Motty apologising to those of you who’ve tuned in to watch Tommy Walsh’s Eco House – this programme will now be shown at a later date.
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Semi-Finals – Match 2
  The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train) vs. For What Is Chatteris…
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Semi-Finals – Match 1
  The Trumpton Riots vs. A Country Practice
• The Lux Familiar Cup: Semi-Finals – Draw
  For the last draw of the competition (unless we do one for home dressing room in the final), it’s over to the Lux Familiar Cup’s sumptuous headquarters in Zeal Monachorum.

The Final

• The Lux Familiar Cup: The Final – Result
  In front of by far the largest crowd of the tournament (513 votes!), the nation’s favourite Half Man Half Biscuit song is chosen.
• The Lux Familiar Cup: The Final
  A Country Practice vs. For What Is Chatteris…