For What Is Chatteris…
vs.
National Shite Day
Two much-fancied songs which overcame formidable opposition in the last round, and now find themselves with another tough draw.
Result
vs.
National Shite Day 180
For What Is Chatteris…
vs.
National Shite Day
Two much-fancied songs which overcame formidable opposition in the last round, and now find themselves with another tough draw.
vs.
National Shite Day 180
Martin
First vote in, and it’s a killer. Tragedy that one of these teams has to go out in the last 16.
If Chatteris win the cup, they will have done it the hard way for sure.
16 May 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Toughest one yet. I have identified five songs in the HMHB canon that I couldn’t see myself voting against unless they were up against one another, and these are two of them.
Chatteris is as straightforward as it gets – simple premise and doesn’t go off-topic, which is saying something for a song which is longer than ninety seconds. Great lyrics and well-constructed. Nearest I can find to a weakness is that the music isn’t particularly outstanding – but if it was a rocker it wouldn’t have worked half as well.
Shite Day grabs you by the collar from the opening chords and pins you against the wall for over six minutes. Not saying I like being treated like that but I wouldn’t argue with it. Some great lines – the rainbow line is just perfectly executed, but there are several other great moments. Granted the Stringy Bob bit has nothing to do with the rest of the song but it’s still a wonderful piece of work.
So two songs which are as close to perfection as you could get. But a decision must be made, would that it didn’t have to come before at least the semi-final.
So I’m voting for National Shite Day, because it might know where I live.
16 May 2011
2 Chevrons
As much s I love Chatteris, I can’t bring myself to vote Shite Day Out.
A hard fought tie, won late on by the rubber faced irritant Phil Cool, with able support from a sanderling and a quartering crow.
16 May 2011
CHEDGZOY
The first one I’ve had to have a ‘listen off’ for. Surprised myself by voting Shite day – it’s absolutely flawless.
16 May 2011
Chungas Revenge
Difficult to choose between the two as they are both great songs, however for me I love listening to the ‘long’ songs that HMHB do (whilst putting a Roger Dean poster on my wall) and so National Shite Day get the vote.
16 May 2011
aiwacat
Much as I love Chatteris, I can’t possibly vote against Shite Day. I just think it’s a work of epic brilliance, endlessly quotable, with arguably my favourite opening line of any song.
16 May 2011
BIG CON
Chatteris somehow easily beat 24HGP in the last round in a match that took me days to decide on.
Now by the look of the first few shots on target NSD are beating Chatteris just as easily. Shirley 24HGP are a much better team than NSD. So come on Chatteris. Where are you? You’ve got to pull this one around.
16 May 2011
EzekialpunchedDanBrown
Chatteris
All day every day for the remainder of eternity.
(Actually, no. That would be awful. But you know what I mean).
16 May 2011
mickythehoss
Chatteris for me on a penalty shoot out which went though the two teams twice,
16 May 2011
Dave Cooper
Another vote for Chatteris here, but only after listening to both several times and then seeing which one ‘ear-wormed’ it’s way to my vote.
16 May 2011
Jules
Chatteris for me, but I get a sense that I’m irking the purists by going that way.
NSD good, but not a daily listen to my mind
16 May 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
A bit of team news: Stringy Bob’s heroics in the round of 32 have earned him a place in the NSD starting line-up. Barry still sidelined with herpes.
16 May 2011
Trumptonrioter
despite having to catch the bus replacement service or should that be train replacement service, an indoor pool and a first class cakeshop win it by thickness of a crick barrier, chatteris all the way wembley.
16 May 2011
TB
Chatteris, Im afraid, its the crick barriers at both ends what swings it.
Isn’t there some sort of seeding arrangement that avoids two big guns like this meeting so early in the competition? Then again, I suppose, surely a bit of controversy is all part of the game’s appeal….
16 May 2011
Third Rate Les
I’m slightly swayed by the “long winded rant” comment in the last round, which has some truth.
Going to have to sleep on this one a bit more.
16 May 2011
Neil G
National Shite Day by a country mile. Chatteris is nice but really, it’s not in the same league as NSD.
17 May 2011
Dave Cooper
What’s all this ‘crick barrier’ stuff? It’s ‘prick barrier’ surely, isn’t it?
17 May 2011
Chief Exec
It’s the drive-by wot won it
17 May 2011
Bobby String
I love some of the lines in Chatteris, especially the drive-by shouting, but for me National Shite Day reminds me of all the things I don’t miss about living in the UK. NSD is just a song that I can really relate to, and I actually think the Stringy Bob bit does fit in with the rest of the song. So, with a full, sincere apology to Chatteris, I have cast my vote with the Shite crowd.
Ô¿Ô
17 May 2011
Sean Macreavy
Wow, what a difficult vote. It goes with Shite Day though, even after encountering Primark FM!
17 May 2011
RobJ
I am going for Chatteris. There’s only room for one long rant in the quarter finals, I think. Can you imagine Shite Day going up against Country Practice in a future round? It’s ll be like Dennis Andries against Jeff Harding all over again, and I’m not sure my ticker could take it…
17 May 2011
BrumBiscuit
I’ve never warmed to Chatteris (heresy), so an easy one for me.
Float on, NSD!
17 May 2011
Ben Woodcock
Chatteris for me – as close to perfection as a song can be !
17 May 2011
littlegrafter
Great song though Chatteris is (and especially the drive by shouting), as mentioned above the music whilst perfectly apt is not their greatest, so in the end an easy choice for Shite Day. It would after all be sacriledge to vote against it after voting for it against AOR previously.
17 May 2011
spoonunit
Exremely tough this one. (a)Lovely singalong countryside local yokel ditty that Chatteris is v (b) the uncouth foul mouthed city dwelling number that is National Shite Day. Living now in an (a) type town, but from a (b) type environment .. definately a last gasp own goal golden goal winner for………Chatteris………..No.. NSD. If only for the memories of previous city life..
17 May 2011
Mr Larrington
Chatteris may have highly dependable buses but having been on the receiving end of a drive-by shouting delivered by a local bus driver, it’s got to be NSD.
17 May 2011
TOMMY
There’s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets, class, has to be NSD.
17 May 2011
Lollipop Man Darren
Despite NSD having my favourite HMHB line ever (Millets), it has to be the sweetness that is Chatteris. Ultimately, I can’t vote for a song mainly consisting of talking over one with proper singing, no matter how clever the lyrics.
If Chatteris does not make it to the quarter finals, I may have to commit a drive-by shouting……
17 May 2011
cawseetiger
Sorry but I’ve bottled it and abstained. However if its a draw I don’t mind picking (if I have too). Had to do the same in the previous round between Trumpton and Dulka Prague…..difficult one for sure
19 May 2011
Kingsbeef
I feel a slightly soiled having in effect voted against my local team. Shite Day with a heavy heart.
19 May 2011
Charles Exford
Just brilliant? Utterly brilliant? Of unsurpassed brilliance?
Yes it shatters my serenity, strains my poor resilience.
Choose between the children? Choose between my limbs?
Choose between genius innovation, or funny words to hymns?
“It’s just a bit of fun”, she says, she can’t see what the matter is
But I can hardly face her since she voted for “Chatteris”.
I turn away, I just can’t sleep, my mind is deeply troubled.
She even used my IP address, hence our strife was doubled.
What brought us together, my true love and me
Was a long-since deleted Probe Plus EP
She got “Saucy” at last, and I’d made her a completist
And her thanks manifested in the way that was the neatest.
She drove me to Biscuit gigs, and thus she won my heart
So why is she now driving me three or four chevrons apart?
What Amoco Cadizzed us, what finally broke us up ?
It was the rocky road to Wembley in the Lux Familiar Cup.
20 May 2011
Charles Exford
Yes Chatteris has some lovely lines, but oh no, Eno, Ono,
It’s not even in my top six lyrics on their ‘Achtung Bono’
“It’s personal taste”, said Mrs E, “No reason for discord”,
But it’s not even in their best eight tunes on that particular record!
Yes, it’s another fine expression of his endless gift for rhyme,
But where the scathing, where the bile? Come on! It’s spindrift time!
We want rage and alienation, mad mallet-men and discords
Surely “gentle satire” is not the mood to win awards ?
Every set needs light and shade, yes both do have their places
And it’s no reason to fallout, no reason to smash faces.
I love her still, but this has been pure H-E-L-L for me
I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
I love them all, but my love for this website is f**cked up
I wish that we could stop this Lux Family-breaking Cup.
(Nah, not really)
20 May 2011
Chris The Siteowner
I wondered why you’d been so quiet lately, Charles.
20 May 2011
Dave Wiggins
Chatteris gives me the same ‘warm all over’ feeling as when ‘The Leatherhead Lip’, Chris Kelly (later signed by Clapperboard), put those greens 2-0 up at Filbert Street. As a 12 year old Evertonian, with no links to Surrey whatsoever, the eventual heartache – as Leicester predictably overcame the would-be giant-killers 3-2 – left a lasting impression on me. 2-0 is the most precarious lead to hold, apparently (never quite understood that one). Anyway, ‘Chatteris’, for me.
20 May 2011
LaL
Havent struggled with the first two games…..chatteris hands down 🙂
20 May 2011
Undecided
Too hard to call.
22 May 2011
worrichy
‘Is this your Sanderling?’ National Shite Day is the greatest song ever written.
23 May 2011
Ferenc Puskás to you
Chatteris, it’s perfect.
26 May 2011
Charles Exford
Cue drum roll…..
Siteowner’s birthday! And National Shite day.
Hope that you have a good one Chris!
And that wherever you go they’ve at least got bog roll.
26 May 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Wow, nothing gets past this man (although my birthday was actually yesterday, as my mother wanted me to be born in honour of the ousting of Viceroy Baltasar Hidalgo de Cisneros).
26 May 2011
Charles Exford
Soz Chris, that was just from memory. Anyway it struck me that some last-minute voters, ‘knocked up’ by whatever new-fangled social media you have taken to spreading the word on, may never have seen NSD live.
I choose the word ‘seen’ rather than ‘heard’. Because no other song in the set, not even ACP, is performed with the concentration, the intensity and the power of NSD. NB57 would probably say that eyes are screwed up just to make sure lyrics are remembered, but it’s more than that, it seems to come from a different zone that delivers more power, more venom.
Chatteris is delightful, but nobody will ever write anything like the following about its live delivery. No apologies that I’ve posted this before in the NSD thread, but here’s Mike Cresswell from the Edinburgh gig a couple of years back :
“Through the fog, through the struggling sound system, a shining light; almost like Monty Python’s stream of bat’s piss (Python ‘Oscar Wilde’: I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark).
“National Shite Day is an immense song. An instant ‘classic’ that defines the feeling that we all have at times (some more than others) that the microcosm, that is our life, is being replicated throughout the wider community. It is cathartic; an accolade that is so oft used but rarely, in my opinion, justified.
“This song is that Premier League player that your club (supporters of the big 5, generally; oh, and Spurs) have just bought for Euro 30 million and looks pretty good on first viewing; but then after a few weeks, is absolutely stunning. There are a few. Messrs Veron and Pizzaro may be considered unlikely members of that club.
“In my view, it is a song that should be pre-loaded onto every Ppod. It is there to enjoy, but also to deflect the suffering of a bad day at the office, ground, etc. It just gives that reality check that we all need to inlay a little bit of perspective.
“It was stunning when it was given a live debut at Nottingham, but at Edinburgh, it just seemed even better. Perhaps it was because of the incessant drum and bass beat booming out through the fog, the fact that last Friday was one of the worst days of my life for a long time, or just because it is such an incredible reflection of the way that life can annoy you in such a complex manner; almost by stealth and only when distilled into this song, does it allow you to rationalise it and shrug it off as, ‘that’s the way it is’?… A plea to the band – NSD to be installed as a staple on the set-list. Inked in, like Cantona would be. Fin.”
Thank you Mike.
Personally I have no doubt that both Chatteris and NSD will be studied and lauded for generations to come, in our national treasury of lyrical verse. They might even sit on adjacent pages in the anthology, complementing each other. One is gentle satire and the other is an epic journey; one is a pleasant day with the rambling club, the other is a storm-tossed voyage with Shackleton; one is a Midsummer Night’s Dream, the other is The Tempest.
27 May 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
And thank you Exxo. You make a very eloquent case for the mighty Shite. Never mind Secret Gig’s travelling army of plastic fans, it seems from your post and others – and from Mike’s review of course – that NSD has perhaps the most passionate following of any HMHB song.
Let’s call ourselves, I dunno, the “Shower of Shite” or something. The Lux Familiar Cup’s answer to cricket’s Barmy Army. Time to dust off the Bart Simpson costume…
27 May 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
@ Exxo Come to think of it, though, I’m not sure about the Tempest comparison. With its marginalised, alienated, suicidal chief protagonist Stringy Bob, I reckon NSD is more of a Hamlet.
27 May 2011
Digger
Easy, National Shite day.
27 May 2011
Charles Exford
Jeff, I’ve been working on some shite anthems for the SoS crew, starting with
Gaddafi could have packed it
When they rose up in Benghazi
But he is stroppy git
And so he’s still acting arsey.
Mourinho acted like a twit
When Barca smashed his dream
Unlike Fergie who’ll admit
They were by far the better team
So shall we get a gob on?
Or just give a little grin?
No let’s go out on the piss
And then smash up Chatteris.
We’re Bad Losers On Micropolls
Bad Losers on Micropolls
We’re Bad Losers on Micropolls
Bad Losers
Bad Losers
29 May 2011