And so to the fifth qualifying group of The Lux Familiar Cup – in which readers of The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project choose their favourite songs of all time. Voting on this album closed on Sat 12 March 2011, and here are the results. 463 votes were cast, and we had an incredibly tight battle for the second automatic qualification slot, with Steel Hearts seeing off Tour Jacket by just 3 votes. And so the stark lights of the hall came on, and we filtered out into the night…
Qualified for last 32
1. Friday Night And The Gates Are Low (17.5%)
2. Even Men With Steel Hearts (15.3%)
In the race for the fastest losers:
3. Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves (14.7%)
4. Sponsoring The Moshpits (9.1%)
5=. Fear My Wraith and
Sensitive Outsider (8.4%)
After the break, much to discuss back in the Channel 5 Studio, from where we haven’t been doing the commentary, honestly.
incrediblestringbiscuitman
“Even Men…” will forever hold a place in my heart and ears. This is unlike one of my all-time faves, “Bob Wilson Anchorman”. For years it was true, but spare a thought for us here in the Midlands where we have Robbie Savage – Football Pundit. I ask you. Could you all bow your heads and have a decade’s silence for us please. Robbie Savage makes Bob Wilson look and sound like Jacob Bronowski.
It was a bit like “And now here’s The Culture Show with Lauren Laverne”. Don’t get me started.
We all still laugh here at the Radio 3 announcer who was trailing a forthcoming appearance by HMHB on the Andy Kershaw Show and there was something amusing about his Oxbridge accent announcing “£24.99 from Argos”. Errr, I think you had to be there.
26 February 2011
mickythehoss
Fear My Wraith is special to me and 100s of Leicester City HMHB fans as it’s the only HMHB song that mentions a Leicester City player; the player in question is Bobby Svarc or “Bobby from the Saff”. The “Saff” is a huge estate in the City called Saffron Lane and Bobby was born there. “I read the news today, oh boy/Svarc rejects new Layer terms”, the last lines, make reference to Bobby’s spell at Colchester Utd. A brilliant song.
26 February 2011
Dave
As usual hard to choose, though detachable sleeves is probably my least favourite HMHB song. As an LCFC fan handn’t picked up that reference to Bobby Svarc. “Girlfriend said that it was fun, even though the others won” – what a great line. Personally it only took about a year to explain to my linguistically gifted wife that “the cup” was the FA cup. Jackie still gets surprised by me settling deeper into the couch at around 10:30 on a Saturday night for you know what – and that after only 30 years!
27 February 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Probably my least favourite album, although I do recall something of a PBR in that in buying it (along with a handful of others), I needed to buy another CD rack which cost, inevitably, £24.99 from Argos.
28 February 2011
Kingsbeef
This is definitely the worst album by a country mile, though it still contains moments of lyrical brilliance. It’s a shame that there even has to be an entry for the next round because every song on Saucy Haulage Ballads is better than these and it might not even get a look in. Still that’s the magic of the cup!!
1 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
just a thought, but shouldn’t Friday Night And The Gates Are Low get a bye to the Finals as the host song?
1 March 2011
grim
Just in order to break up the consensus, this is by no means the ‘worst album’ to me, although I don’t really think there is a scale with ‘best album’ at one end and ‘worst’ at the other. I think the songs are strong, and I’d choose to listen to this over, say, Trouble Over Bridgwater, every time.
3 March 2011
Neil G
I agree with Grim. I would much rather listen to this than most of Back in the DHSS.
3 March 2011
Kingsbeef
Couldn’t agree less with Grim & Neil G but Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal?
4 March 2011
Gregg Z
Since we are including a section for “Peel Sessions and Other One-Offs” in the Lux Familiar Cup, I must assume we are also making eligible the Marc Riley/Gideon Coe radio session tracks, “Tommy Walsh’s Eco-House”, “RSVP”, “Left Lyrics in the Practice Room” & “L’Enfer C’est Les Autres”.
A must, if you ask me..
4 March 2011
Chris The Siteowner
I was waiting for someone to raise that. My feeling is that we shouldn’t include the new songs, but only on the basis that I detest polls where something which is flavour of the week is put up against something which has stood the test of time. You know what I mean: “In a new survey, Jack Wilshere has beaten Johan Cruyff, Pele and Diego Maradona to the title of the world’s greatest ever footballer”. Three years later, Cruyff, Pele and Maradona remain in the top four, but this time they’re beaten by 21-year-old England sensation Connor Wickham, and Wilshere is nowhere to be seen.
4 March 2011
Gregg Z
Fair enough– your reason for not including these tracks seems sound. I will lament the non-inclusion of these songs, but it will be interesting to see how they fare in 2 or 3 years, if we run another Lux-type Cup.
4 March 2011
Chris
Probably my least listened to HMHB record – do have a liking for Faithlift and its “Hosanna! The jazz snobs are all going home” refrain though.
9 March 2011
nickinko
Sad to see so many people down on this brilliant album. Fear My Wraith is my favourite HMHB song of all-time, straddling, as it does, that line between hilarity and pathos that all their best songs do.
The way he sings ‘frightening the birds’ – 3 words so utterly brimming with despair, contempt, compassion and hurt that I scarcely know where to put myself when I hear them.
10 March 2011
Lender of Black Plectrums
With only a couple of votes in it for the coveted second qualifying place, I thought we needed a warmth-generating campaign video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvwA7BK4-6A
You know it makes sense.
10 March 2011
Norbert D
Crushed to see “Fear My Wraith” going out. Second Nickinko’s fine words above… although it’s not my favourite of all time, it’s got to be one of their funniest and most pointed lyrics, and certainly far better than most of this rather uneven LP.
10 March 2011
Mender of Stack Rostrums
Still too close to call. Surely a dog on the pitch at Honved will swing it for the unswung ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijcxcPcJLf8
11 March 2011
Fender of Slack Sistrums
What a result! Let Joyce be unconfined! Here she is on the pitch at Stockport last May, in a sea of alright, celebrating a particularly narrow trapdoor escape, and generating quasi-nuclear amounts of warmth.
One slight downside of all this, of course, is that it’ll be a long time before there’s ever going to be a ‘trapdoors derby’. Prog Rock v. Relegation? Now there’s a tough choice.
14 March 2011
Neil G
Was this from the same game? It was put up on YouTube on the same date, so I’m assuming it was. It seems that the dog on the pitch got a few of the Tranmere fans got a little overheated.
14 March 2011
Splendour of Flack Maelstroms
Yes indeed, the woodwork was lovingly sculpted into a perfect ‘M’ for ‘mathematical’, and notice that one of the master woodworkers gets away from the brace of stewards when they are over-enthusiastic in their plaudits.
Plenty extra revenue for County that day to pay for a replacement methinks.
14 March 2011
Paddy
I too am astonished by people being down on this album. I absolutely love it, has some brilliant tracks on it, listen to it all the time. Faithlift, Friday night, mosh pits etc what’s not to love. Nigel is a total genius
8 July 2012