It’s qualifying group number 8 in The Lux Familiar Cup – in which readers of The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project choose their favourite songs of all time. Voting on this album closed a few minutes before Sat 2 April 2011, and the results from this qualifying group are below. An astonishing 885 votes were cast; we had a convincing winner, but despite the huge number of votes cast, just three votes separated 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th places …and only one gets automatic qualification to the Round of 32. Will any of those which just missed out still qualify as a best loser? We shall see. Another surprise, given the quantity of votes, is that this album also produced the two lowest scoring songs from the eight qualifying groups so far. Congratulations if yours was one of the 2 votes for Slight Reprise.
Qualified for last 32
1. Twenty Four Hour Garage People (16.7%)
2. Irk The Purists (9.1%)
In the race for the fastest losers:
3=. Bottleneck At Capel Curig (8.9%)
3=. Uffington Wassail (8.9%)
5. Look Dad No Tunes (8.8%)
Was it the 6Music effect which done it? Feel free to discuss.
Chris The Siteowner
Ooh, bloody hell, three “top ten of all time” contenders on this album, and at least three other absolute crackers too. Revisiting the track listing, this is a way better album than I ever remembered. And Slight Reprise may be the dark horse, I predict.
19 March 2011
Daryl
This is the HMHB album I tend to listen to the least, and I still love it. “Used to be in Evil Gazebo” is so needle sharp it should have a safety warning, especially if listened to by self-important indie twerps.
19 March 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Had to abandon my principles and vote for five rather than three. I have to confess my copy of this album disappeared under mysterious circumstances and I never actually bought a replacement, preferring instead to download from iTunes the ones I hadn’t previously copied to my computer. I can’t believe I actually paid 79p for Visitor For Mr Edmonds. Does anyone know whether it’s ever been played live?
19 March 2011
Medium Sized Toffo
Just come back from Nantwich today but saw no bedrooms. Nantwich 1 Marine FC 1.
19 March 2011
Bobby String
So far, Chris, your horse is so dark it’s invisible! Maybe it’ll bring on a couple of subs and make a late surge in injury time.
Ô¿Ô
20 March 2011
Paul F
Really tough one this – probably my favourite album. Uffington Wassail could well be my absolute favourite HMHB song, but it will be up against it to get out of the group stages at this rate.
20 March 2011
BrumBiscuit
Slight reprise is my ringtone, but not a top two, I’m afraid. What a bugger to have to choose from this line up. Also my favourite album. I voted for Garage People, but more out of affinity for Pringles. Uffington Wassail has to be on the list. That was a cracking riot in ’85. Evil Gazebo’s showing disappointingly right now, but that’s a cracker live too; what with that raucous bit after the quiet build up. If HMHB are still going strong in 10 years (& I hope they are) that song could see off more fans than smoking & drinking combined!
20 March 2011
Chris
Garage People a no-brainer.
As, for my money, is Irk The Purists – Husker Du Du Du
Capel Curig has my favourite HMHB melody.
20 March 2011
Steve Nicholls
This has three absolute belting tunes on the subject of taking the piss out of too-serious musos (Look Dad No Tunes, Evil Gazebo, and Irk the Purists).
They poke fun at so much which I hold dear, perfectly.
Look Dad No Tunes is an ever-present in my interchangeable top 5. The feedback in Nantwich, Thurston-Moore like and theramin lines are among my favourite written by anybody – and it’s a fantastic tune too.
In addition to those three, I’m ticking Gubba Lookalikes for its Being John Malkovitch-type surreality and 24-Hour Garage People which, even though I’ll admit the joke wears thin after several hundred listens, still had me in stitches when I first heard it.
21 March 2011
Bobby String
I agree with Steve on the Look Dad, No Tunes lyrics. The line about the theremin makes me smile every time I hear it because it reminds me of when I was in my teens, trying to form a band. This guy wanted to join our ‘band’ (which at the time consisted of me and my mate with two cheap electric guitars that we couldn’t play) and we decided to let him in purely because he had a synthesizer. He couldn’t play the damn thing but he could make Eno-esque weird noises and he listened to Wire so that was good enough for us. He works in a bank now.
Garage People was always going to win this round but I still had to vote for it because of its sheer classicness (my golden rule: if a word doesn’t exist, invent it). Putting it up against any of the other tracks on the album is like matching England up against Ireland in the cricket world cup. Oh, wait a minute, I haven’t thought this through, have I?
I’m disappointed to see a no rosette situation for Third Track Main Camera Four Minutes though. It gets my vote at least, especially for that whole spoken bit about Mr.Galbraith and his pitiful competition onions. The closing refrain of ‘Frampton Comes Alive’ is also one of my favourite Nigel non-sequiturs. As a result of listening to this track repeatedly, I now draw looks of bewilderment from people who ask me how I am when I reply “If any man should wish to make himself immortal…etc.”
I also voted for Emerging From Gorse because of the ‘being escorted round the ground’ and the ‘rancid keepers’ choruses, and Brendan changing his name to Federal Metronome. Classic Nigel-esque bizarreness.
Ô¿Ô
21 March 2011
Ben Woodcock
Too tough ! Gotta go lie down now.
21 March 2011
Ben Woodcock
Oh no – been revisiting Camell Laird – that one’s gonna be even worse !!!
21 March 2011
Kingsbeef
Ben Woodcock. Have you been squatting in my brain? This getting more impossible by the week. I was going to leave Capel Curing out of my choices as a shoe-in but now my tummy feels all squirty!
21 March 2011
Norbert D
This is my least favourite HMHB album, I think, along with Godcore. Just seems like wall-to-wall whimsy, missing the usual dark/angry corners to provide the essential balance… even though there are a few fine tracks on it. In the end I went with the inevitable 24HGP and “Gubba Lookalikes”, although the Peel version’s better.
21 March 2011
Jon
One of my favourite albums with some tough choices to be made. 24HGP is almost too obvious a choice but as Steve writes “still had me in stitches when I first heard it.”
Have to also go for Look Dad, Evil Gazebo and Emerging from Gorse (for reasons mentioned by previous correspondents). Evil Gazebo was also a shoe-in for the “I’ve been in a mental hospital” line – hearing a crowd singing along to that at the Boardwalk in Sheffield was great.
21 March 2011
smithsocksimon
Many contenders, but in the end the choice was easy: Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas, Look Dad no Tunes and 24 Hour Garage People, which I suspect will win by a country mile. Uffington Wassail mentioned in despatches.
22 March 2011
Poolio
errr…. blurt…
voted for 6… is that a record?
22 March 2011
Chris The Siteowner
This is going to be very close: a clear leader after the first few days, but then 5 or 6 songs competing for second place, all within 10 votes of each other, and very little prospect of the third place making it through as a fastest loser.
23 March 2011
Bobby String
Close indeed, when you consider that even Mathematically Safe is not even mathematically safe!
Ô¿Ô
23 March 2011
Colin
Lets hope theres no 10 point deductions for going into administration
23 March 2011
MATLOCK BATH
My 7 year old son goes around school singing “10 KitKats and a motoring atlas” to the general bafflement of teachers and pupils (and I think himself). But it beats his previous obsession with “Kill, kill, kill, stab, murder and despatch”.
Quite seriously though, HMHB should do a special album for kids, my lad loves their stuff, though I am gutted I can’t play him my own personal favourite “Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”.
25 March 2011
BrumBiscuit
Wrong album, but my 5-year-old sings You’re Hard almost word perfect in the car. However, one does have to be sooo careful with their songs as questions like “What’s a pierced dick, dad?” do tend to arise!!!
25 March 2011
Graeme Tripney
David Wainwrights Feet is my kids favourite
25 March 2011
J Mac
Nice touch at the Withdean recenty when the stadium (well leisure centre/athletics ground, very similiar to the Oval in Bebington actually) announcer played Mathematically Safe before kick off in Brighton v Rovers game for the travelling fans. All 113 of us. Glad i’d already voted for it.
27 March 2011
Toffo
The guy at Withdean is Atilla the Stockbroker , another biscuit addict!
27 March 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Although memories fade, as mentioned elsewhere, I’m pretty sure my first Biscuit gig saw the band supporting Atilla the Stockbroker in Covent Garden somewhere, must have been around 1990/91-ish (thanks Charles).
27 March 2011
Charles Exford
Thanks for mentioning that J Mac. Yet another Biscuit tribute from Attila. He’s a massive fan and I know he still dreams of persuading the band to venture back to the South coast once again, just like the olden days, but it’s a bit too far for the humble amateur Transit van these days it seems. Hope we can see him support our lads elsewhere in the country some time again though.
Meanwhile we’re looking forward to seeing Attila on a mini-tour with Blyth Power in May and then at his own homespun festival with The Men They Couldn’t Hang, etc in June. And I’m looking forward even more to seeing Brighton play at Falmer! FOURTEEN homeless seasons. That’s an exile of biblical proportions. Scandalous what these criminals who are allowed to buy and sell our football clubs can get away with.
27 March 2011
J Mac
Disappointed with myself for not realising it was Atilla. PA wasn’t the best
28 March 2011
Alan K
@Matlock Bath
My 7 yr old does the same! But he sings ‘Your gorra shut up, bad tattoo’, though. I know the truth is gonna dawn on him real soon.
But he does nearly know all the words to ‘When the Evening Sun….’
30 March 2011
Mal Practice
Got to love the way the number of votes goes up each week.
(a) Loads more people logging on ? Hmm, seems unlikely but maybe.
(b) The voters becoming more indecisive and voting for more songs each? Perhaps, I suppose.
(c) More people finding multiple IP addresses, voting early and voting often ? I like to hope so.
1 April 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
(d) Overall quality improving so each voter voting for more tracks per album.
1 April 2011