Three years on (and doesn’t it seem like it) from the previous Castleton gig, the lads are back in the Hope Valley, hopefully not at loggerheads. Some fans went to great lengths to get to this one; was it worth it? Of course it was. Over to you…
Three years on (and doesn’t it seem like it) from the previous Castleton gig, the lads are back in the Hope Valley, hopefully not at loggerheads. Some fans went to great lengths to get to this one; was it worth it? Of course it was. Over to you…
TwistedKiteMike
Another fine evening of Biscuit entertainment. A possibly unique venue, but great fun for all. A cheeky mix of old and new, with a couple of forgotten gems revived.
Greetings to all the fine people that I spoke to. Lovely to see so many familiar faces. It’s reassuring in the post-apocalyptic world to see everyone looking well and enjoying life.
Here’s the hymn list: –
Joy in Leeuwarden
Bat Walk
Awkward Sean
Fred T
Vitas G
Slipper (refrain)
Bob Wilson
Light Tunnel
Suffolk Ditch
Bad Wools
Bob Todd
Little in the Way of Sunshine
Vatican
Big Man Up Front
Part-Time Punks (Television Personalities cover)
San Antonio
When I Look at My Baby
Left Lyrics
DPAK
PRS Yearbook
NSD
Chatteris
Trad Arr Tune
AOR
Midnight Mass Murder
Trumpton
Bell Rings
……………………………………..
Oblong
20th Century Boy (T. Rex cover)
JDOG
A more than generous offering. The congregation will reconvene in the Second City next month.
Take care
Mike…………………..
19 August 2022
Toby Farrand
If you’d have told me at any time up till 8pm that day that I’d be seeing HMHB at the Devil’s Arse on a free ticket gifted to me by a mysterious stranger, I would not have believed you and would probably have laughed in your face. And yet strangely that is exactly what happened.
It’s 7pm and I’m at home. It’s my turn to put the kids to bed, and my wife is due to go out to the cinema. Except when I ask her what time she’s going out, she tells me the plan is off because her friend couldn’t make it. “Sorry, I thought I told you earlier she says”. “Nope” I say. Then I add “It’s that Half Man Half Biscuit gig at the Devil’s Arse tonight”. She looks at me as if to say: “Well you should get on and go to it then”, while I’m already saying “…but I’m pretty sure it’s sold out”.
“Ring the Peak Cavern”, she says. I feel this will be fruitless, but she insists. So I do.
Bloke on the phone asks me how local I am. (In retrospect this could have been a great cue to go all League of Gentlemen. I mean, Castleton’s not that far from Hadfield anyway. Glad I didn’t though, it probably wouldn’t have helped my case). “Sheffield” I say, “30 mins drive”. He tells me there haven’t been any return tickets as far as he knows, but I could try coming over to check for returns at the gate. We chat a bit more, then he says “Hang on, I’ll just call down to the gate and check”. Then for the next two minutes I can hear one side of a walkie-talkie conversation, before he asks me how many tickets I’m after. “Just one” I tell him. More radio chatter. Then, “Right, what’s your name”. Details given. “OK,” he says, “get your kids to bed, get in the car and get down here. At the gate, ask for Jez and give him your name. There’s a ticket waiting for you.”
45 mins later, after swapping bedtime duties with my wife, a very quick wash, swapping a scruffy t-shirt for a slightly cleaner scruffy t-shirt, and surprisingly trouble free drive to Castleton, I’m stood at the “gate” (aka a small gazebo – whether evil or not is unknown). I announce my name and ask for Jez. He takes me aside, and ceremoniously hands me a ticket, telling me that it is mine and free of charge. Jaw hits floor. He then describes a man in short dungarees and a straw hat who left the ticket and didn’t want to accept a refund, but who just wanted the ticket to be used by someone. Jez suggested I should probably find this gentleman and his partner, and buy them a drink. And I did.
So thank you Kevin and Lauren for your immense kindness, even though I don’t think you are likely to be reading this.
Kevin had bought ‘Back in the DHSS’ back in the day but not followed the lads since. Naturally I took the opportunity to encourage him to investigate the rest of the band’s oeuvre, whilst reassuring him that he would undoubtedly hear more than one familiar song that night. He’d got the tickets on a whim, but his mate Dave hadn’t been able to come at the last minute. And after plying them with drink, as the last chords of “Bob Todd” faded away, I told them I had to answer the call of the mosh-pit, and bade them farewell.
Since getting home I’ve been reading the pre-gig chat, and I see now that there were a lot of people wanting ticket to this gig. I don’t feel smug, and I’m not trying to rub it in to those who couldn’t get a ticket. I’m genuinely sorry there weren’t more tickets and sorry for anyone who wanted to go but couldn’t. More than anything else I wanted to highlight that there are some genuinely nice people out there like Kevin and Lauren. And I think that is a good thing.
Oh yeah, and the gig wasn’t bad either 🙂 The acoustics of playing in a cave were clearly a bit tricky as Nigel himself pointed out on more than one occasion, but nevertheless an excellent performance.
I would like to add one small thing to add to Mr TwistedKiteMike’s excellent set listing above: Vatican Broadside was in fact launched upon us as a sneak attack. We were initially treated to a good couple of minutes of the Velvet Underground’s Heroin, although replacing the song’s eponymous drug with “Solpadeine” for much comic effect. And then having lulled us into a false sense of security, they unleashed the full force of the Broadside upon us. Lovely stuff.
Oh, and max respect for all my fellow middle-aged moshing friends out there. Still can’t believe there was no moshing till Kendo Nagasaki time.
20 August 2022
Chris The Siteowner
Light at the End of the Tunnel (YouTube). A local song about wandering the Peaks.
20 August 2022
Bad loser
After a 10 week break, it was nice to have a short 60 mile drive to the lovely Castleton to see the lads perform again. Arriving at 2pm we settled for ambling round the village rather than going on one of the walking routes. Gave a bit of business to various cafes and pubs before having a meal at Ye Olde Nag’s Head. As last time, it was very good. Did well to get a table as most were reserved: one in the name of ‘Niel’. We wondered if it was the man himself. ‘That’s not how I would spell Neil’ etc.
I’m not sure about the venue itself. It’s certainly different, or ‘crazy’ as their own publicity has it and is wonderfully picturesque. I feel they messed up badly with their seating area at the front of the middle tier. Ten minutes into the gig there were 6 people sitting there with none of them requiring it as a disabled facility. They let more in but still seated except for a few dancing at the back.
Accoustically, sometimes really good, sometimes quite ropey.
Obviously a great performance catching us out with a midset cover. Like last time when they played a cover that I don’t own (Take The Skinheads Bowling), listening to the original of ‘Part Time Punks’ made me wish for the band’s cover. I assume no-one picked PRS Yearbook to be played: I fared badly enough without someone scoring that one.
Sounds like a gig in Edinburgh in the spring may soon be announced. Keep an eye out for that one.
20 August 2022
Phyllis Triggs
@Toby Farrand, thankyou for that wonderful Biscuit-tale. Like a dog on the pitch, and so much about this band, it generates a warmth… I wasn’t able to go to last night’s gig but now have a smile on my face nevertheless. Truly, every gig they play makes the World a better place.
20 August 2022
TRIANGULAR cow
Can we add a brief attempt at the Len Ganley Stance to the list?
20 August 2022
John anderson
I would have loved to have been there to hear PRS Yearbook. I often wish I’d picked IRN DJ as my user name rather than my real name.
20 August 2022
Lux inferior
@Bad Loser – I was mildly frustrated to hear that PRS Yearbook had a rare outing last night. PRS was my massive gamble of a selection when I was trying to overhaul Phyllis Triggs on the final day of last season’s FBL title race in Leeds (though as it turned out, the 57 points on offer still wouldn’t have been sufficient to catch Phyllis). Very nearly left it in for the Devil’s Arse gig, but switched to Depressed Beyond Tablets because, err, it contains the word ‘caverns’.
20 August 2022
Bad loser
@Lux Inferior – I have long worked on the basis that if something would be of particular relevance to the gig’s location that it wouldn’t be included. Thankfully, ‘Wandering the Peaks’ still made it.
Have only just discovered that the guy furiously taking notes next to me last night was Roger Green himself. I had decided at a previous gig that someone who looked a bit like Roger McGough must be this Roger because that’s how his writing made me picture him.
20 August 2022
Ceepeebee
Rather gutted to miss this one, seeing as I was brought up in the lee of the Peaks…
Interesting to hear a slight adjustment to the pronunciation of Eyam in Light at the end of the tunnel too – more towards how I’ve pronounced it all my life.
20 August 2022
Alan keys
“Martine Croxall, ladies and gentlemen. Martine Croxall” 😊
20 August 2022
Hendrix-tattoo
All I can say is it was great to see all the gang again.
And the bass riff in Oblong of Dreams is the greatest bass riff in Rock’n’ Roll…
20 August 2022
dr desperate
@John Anderson: change your user name, why not? I used my real name (also John) for 2 years before I finally settled on my nom de Biscuit.
@T Cow: I believe the brief attempt was another John – ‘The John Ganley Stance’, as that was the title repeatedly requested by the intoxicated gentleman behind me.
There was also a snatch of The Chi-Lites’ ‘Have You Seen Her’ – see the beginning of CtSO’s video clip at post 3 above. (If ever a song title was in dire need of a question mark…)
20 August 2022
John Anderson
@Dr Desperate. I might just do that. How does one go about it? (New technology baffles pissed old hack).
(You can’t change the name on earlier comments, but I think Dr D is saying that like him, you could change it going forward. I wouldn’t know how to bulk change things going back anyway, but it reminds me, I was going to ask if there’s anyone out there who’s confident with WordPress MySQL databases, because I’m not, but there are some bulk improvements to the site I could do if I had some help – CtSO)
20 August 2022
Toby Farrand
@Phyllis Triggs – happy to share. And yes, now that you mention it and now I think about it I’ve realised the bands/artists I like the best are usually the ones that have kind and happy communities of devotees such as this one. Some lovely people there last night.
@Bad loser – ah, so you were at the Leadmill in February as well then. My head nearly exploded with joy when they played “Take the Skinheads Bowling” – a long time favourite of mine.
In fact, I was reminded of the Sheffield gig when Nigel brought out the Epiphone with the (Airstream?) caravan body for the encore. Which is why I shouted “Have you tuned it this time?” to him. “Err, no” he replied. One strum confirmed that he really should have. Much as was the case at the Leadmill when he admitted he “probably should have tuned it instead of spending all that time shooting rubber bands at each other in the dressing room”. And thus it went back to the side of the stage. Again.
@TRIANGULAR cow & @dr desperate – yes the bloke was somewhat the worse for wear. From his incoherent shoutings Nigel just about managed to gather which song he wanted despite the fact that he seemed to be asking for “The John Ganley Stance”. So that’s what they played. Just a bit though cos they couldn’t remember much of it. I *may* have captured it on my portable telephone device thingee. I’ll have a look to see if the quality is bearable.
@CTSO – I’m a software engineer by trade. Whilst I don’t do much WordPress on a daily basis, I know my way around it and I’ve done a fair bit of web development over the years. Also data/databases is one of my specialisms. Similarly to WordPress, I know enough about the admin side of MySQL to get by, but if it’s just writing SQL queries you need help with I can definitely do that. I don’t have a huge amount of spare time in my life, but would be happy to give you some of it to help out if I can be of use. FYI if you stayed down the front for the whole gig, I was the bloke in the denim jacket and black t-shirt with the Mexican day of the dead skull design on it. In case that helps you put a face to a name. And doesn’t make you go “Oh, not that t*sser”.
20 August 2022
Irish Niall
Just after 1am Sunday we got home to Parteen, Co. Clare (where the locals, to whom I will always be a blow in despite being born and reared just two miles away but across the county boundary in Limerick, used put “Near Limerick” on their addresses to stop their mail going to the Ennis’ sorting office which adds days to deliveries). Flight delayed. Manchester Airport is a grim spot in many ways but credit where due it’s well ventilated so our overstay there wasn’t as horribly uncomfortable as it’s been in similar circumstances elsewhere such as Stansted, Leeds/Bradford or Birmingham.
Anyways, nothing could put a downer on what was a special couple of days in the Peaks. It was great to get to meet some of you whether for the first time or an acquaintance renewed. Raging though that I chickened out of introducing myself to Nigel when I walked right into him on the path up to the venue -maybe inviting him to put his feet up and take the night off while I karaoke the entire caboodle and he surveys the ensuing riot as disaffected punters quite reasonably demand refunds.
The gig itself was stupendous of course and the lads seemed to really enjoy it themselves. Wonderful venue too that I don’t doubt presents unique challenges to a sound engineer. I’m conscious that owing to the need to respect that uniqueness they have to be light touch with whatever they do to treat the acoustics of the space and with that in mind here’s my idea. Mattresses. About a dozen of them, various sizes, hung like tee shirts on a washing line along the stage right/non populated side of the venue would act as a massive bass trap and take some of the spanky, brassiness and bounce out of the room. Easy to install, easy to remove. Anyway -this is a drummer talking of course, but just an idea.
But again – a great couple of days. Our hotel/guesthouse even had a jacuzzi (sp) bath! Thanks to CTSO and Brumbiscuit for their kindnesses ferrying me and my good lady to and from Chapel en le Frith (there’s bingo there next and every Thursday …though little else in between we could find)
It’ll be January before I see you all again I daresay. Always a welcome here in the (mid)west of Ireland if anyone fancies or finds themselves in these parts. I should really go to bed now.
21 August 2022
Low drone
Was entertained by Neil’s attempt at There’s a Bright Golden Haze On The Meadow as the intro to Awkward Sean. Also doffing of the cap to the gent in the Chicory Tip T-shirt. Great night. Blackpool next for me.
21 August 2022
eric t’viking
@ Irish Niall – sheep’s wool, rather than mattresses, perhaps?
There’s a few companies already selling acoustic panels made from the stuff, and there’s many a clattery cafe that would be improved by being able to hear what your companions are saying: “Sorry… what..?”
21 August 2022
Canadian Alice
It’s been three years since my last gig so a proper review is in order… Hope I don’t bore you lot with all of my ramblings!
https://alonghaulholiday.wordpress.com/2022/08/20/009-gig-in-a-cave/
21 August 2022
Alice van der meer
Nice to see you are back in Biscuitland, Alice (who is really Alice, as opposed to this Alice who isn’t Alice at all but who does have T-shirt made for the year Alice Cooper played Cropredy (qv) that reads “Alice? Alice? Who the folk is Alice?”)!
21 August 2022
Not Bishop Brennan
A splendid day trip from Cheshire and much improved without 2″ of rain. Passing Lyme Park I resisted the temptation to swim in the lake in my shirt and noted that New Mills was indeed handy for the hills.
A good crowd in the Old Cheshire Cheese made the afternoon fly especially the discussion with @Dr Desperate on meeting in Foyles but not recognising each other sufficiently to have a conversation and consequently him telling everyone that I was the actor that played Bishop Brennan in Father Ted. A good cue to change my alias methinks as well as to watch a rerun of the relevant episode. I would also observe that the actor is 20 years older than me, though to be fair he was probably a similar age when it was filmed.
Opening up the upper level of the DA Cave venue (presumably normally the access to the cave system for those on mobility scooters?) created a three tier system with what appeared to be 6 blue badge abusers seated in the middle level until ShowSec relented and opened up the space to all and sundry provided they were seated. You have to feel this is taking “life imitating art” to a new level. A number from the seated area were later seen to have carefully made their way to the low level standing areas where slightly more mayhem was permitted. From the balcony or dress circle level the acoustics were maybe slightly better than last time. Heckles were as indecipherable as they were on the stage.
Return journey marred by M56 overnight closure and detour via Sale and Altrincham but still back by midnight and ready for a hedge cutting session the next day. Last gig for 2022 as the rescheduled Brum date coincides with a twice-rescheduled holiday. See you at the Electric Ballroom.
21 August 2022
Canadian Alice
Alice van der Meer – I’m actually no longer a real Alice either. Technically never been as my legal name is something else entirely. I now introduce myself as Cheviot, after the hills in the far North, but people who knew me as Alice can still call me that. Besides, Canadian Cheviot sounds a real mouthful
Can we perhaps stop assuming people sitting down in the middle are blue badge abusers please? Or at least stop judge them for it. I would’ve asked to sit in there if I didn’t think it’d be way too loud for me. I look young and healthy but I’m also long hauling COVID which makes standing up for the whole gig rather unwise. Luckily I found a bench at the back and was able to actually enjoy myself without too many unpleasant symptoms. I do still enjoy Nigel’s gleeful, first-person rant about being a real abuser, though not when we make fun of others for a potentially invisible disability
21 August 2022
dr desperate
Good point, @CA.
Perhaps ‘BBA’ should join the ranks of better-left-unmentioned characters now, along with Hattie Jacques and Marilyn Monroe (who I noticed was “on the skag” on Friday).
21 August 2022
Hendrix-tattoo
Cheviot it was really lovely to see you on Saturday, I’m sorry I missed you in the cave.
At the moment I’m having a Sunday dinner in my local The Marble Arch with HMHB playing on Spotify on shuffle play with thanks to Paddy the barman.
And while I’m eating a Morris dancer walks in. After finishing my dinner he his still at the bar, So I ask him is he a hanky waver or a stick banger and I’m afraid he’s a hanky waver…
21 August 2022
irish niall
@Eric -Yes indeed. All for sheepswool. I was merely scaling up and as a long since grown up, skip-dipping sculpture student who loved a ready-made and a repurpose -mattresses seemed a good fit. We’re of similar mind on where the fix lies anyway.
@NBB and CA -I was unaware there’d be a seated area at all and wasn’t sure was it for VIPs, invited guests or other. It was apparent close to showtime that it wasn’t going to be anything like full and I tried to get to the security lads to scope out the possibility of my good lady getting a seat in there as I felt she was struggling a bit with a recently twisted ankle and was needlessly suffering it for the purpose of a good vantage. Alas I couldn’t even get within shouting range of security by kick-off. Then a few songs in they opened it which at least filled in a substantial null zone right in front of the band. Herself opted to stay where we were as she’d railing for support and no great crowd around us.
21 August 2022
knockedonthebonce
@Dr Desperate is Hattie Jauques now unmentioned ? I’m not surprised.
Never hear Tige mentioned either,
21 August 2022
Bad loser
Just seen on YouTube a recording from outside the cave of a soundcheck of ‘A Lilac Harry Quinn’. My bonus point pick getting squeezed out of the final set.
21 August 2022
CARRIE ANNE
Roger’s review from https://www.hmhb.co.uk/guest/index.htm
Peak Cavern, Castleton, Fri 19th August 2022
Roger Green:
The day after the Leeds gig, we had another short journey, to the Long Division festival in Wakefield. It gave us an excuse to visit one of our favourite eateries, The Smokehouse. The bands were OK, but there was no one setting our world on fire. We were drawn just as much to the peregrine falcons who live on the spire at the cathedral, as we were to a lot of the bands.
We try and keep tabs on The Humdrum Express who has been a regular support act whenever HMHB have played in the Midlands. Ian/Humdrum was a guest on a programme on Brum Radio hosted by Adrian Goldberg. The band has a new album out called Forward Defensive. I was particularly taken by The Gig Chatterer. Haven’t we all met one of those? Adrian made reference to HMHB cancelling their appearance on Top Of The Pops, in order to go to a Tranmere game. Top Of The Pops? Ian was quick to correct him, saying that the programme was, of course, The Tube. One or two of you may already be familiar with this story.
We had a night in Stourbridge, attending Claptrap The Venue, to see the launch of Forward Defensive. Great to catch up with Ian, and good to hear that he has managed to secure a show supporting HMHB, when they play in Leamington Spa next March. He also bemoaned the lack of availability of the album on vinyl. Adele has been clogging up the presses. “If she had bought all the unsold vinyl copies of my last album, then I could have afforded to have this one pressed,” added Ian. It was a grand set, as ever. And thanks to Ian for the set list which matched my scribbled notes.
When Peter Shilton Tweets
Motivational Wall Art
Denim In The Dugout
Brave Boy
Message Board Hooligan
Staying Inn
The Curse Of The Modern Musician
Christmas With Evan Dando
The Gig Chatterer
What A Time To Be Alive!
End Of Part One
Online Beer Club
E-Petition
And he played three songs in the encore. Can’t remember seeing anyone cover a Frank Sidebottom song before now. The Best Dope song is apparently a cover of a song by Eyes, a local band.
Guess Who’s Been On Match Of The Day
Lesbians Always Smoke The Best Dope
One Man’s Tat (Is Another Man’s Treasure)
As we move through the middle of 2022, it feels like live music has fairly much returned to normal. Some venues might not have the same appetite for gigs, and some bands might have felt the same as the virus, decided to go away, but stuff is clearly happening again. We were pleased to see Wirral band The Webb playing at Wharf Chambers in Leeds. Maybe that Sunday afternoon was a bit bright and sunny for a goth all-dayer, but that didn’t affect the performance. They’ve got plenty in their diary, including an appearance at the recent Rebellion Festival in Blackpool.
Another red hot day in the middle of July saw us as at another all-dayer in Leeds. This time we were at The Brudenell. I had found out about this from talking with Michael and Sally at the HMHB show at Leeds Uni in June. Michael is in the band Indignation Meeting, with their thirteen-year-old son Peter. All good stuff, particularly their HMHB cover/pastiche The Bastard Son Of Ed Sheeran. Not everyone will know who Dean Friedman is. Perhaps that’s why Peter changed the name. Look out for Indignation Meeting’s CD, Trouble In The Shed, coming down the line. On the same bill were Bite Back, who were HMHB’s support at that Leeds Uni gig. They were on in the afternoon, before the place had properly started to fill up. All the sunbathers missed a grand set. I made a prompt visit to the merch stall to pick up their CD, The Truth Demos.
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo mentions wine from the banks of the Garonne. The Tour De France passed by that way, crossing the river. The winner of the stage (and the winner of the overall race) was Jonas Vingegaard. He was presented with a bottle of red from one of the local vineyards.
The vinyl version of The Voltarol Years finally managed to barge its way through the pressing plants and onto turntables up and down the land. Such was demand that it rocketed to Number 12 in the vinyl charts. That is THE charts.
We had our annual pilgrimage to The Wirral. Our reason was a visit to The Cock And Pullet for a gig by The Band-Its, being Karl’s side project. Or perhaps it is HMHB which is the side project. Saw Graham Le Taxi, Postman Tony and a few other familiar faces there. Unfortunately, we didn’t actually see the band performing. You have to get in early if you want a decent line of sight. But we were well happy with what we heard, including one we didn’t know, City Kids, a Pink Fairies song, later covered by Motorhead. Their show was split into two sets and the market is now open if you are placing bets on HMHB cover versions in the future. The Band-Its played these…
In the first set…
New Rose
In The City
Complete Control
London Calling
My Perfect Cousin
Shot By Both Sides
Babylon’s Burning
Something Better Change
Eton Rifles
Promises
Where’s Captain Kirk?
Action Time Vision
No More Heroes
Into The Valley
In the second set…
Blitzkrieg Bop
Sound Of The Suburbs
Jimmy Jimmy
Don’t Dictate
Pump It Up
Gary Gilmore’s Eyes
Jilted John
Swords Of A Thousand Men
What Do I Get?
City Kids
Ever Fallen In Love?
Love Song
Hurry Up Harry
My Way
In the encore…
Pretty Vacant
Overkill
If I’d thought on, I would have heckled for One Chord Wonders, but you only ever think about these things afterwards. We’ll be travelling west to see The Band-Its again, some time. Even if there is some more squaring up at the end of the evening. Two punters a-pushing and a-shoving each other. One ends up on the floor. Beer spilled. You can guess the rest.
Thanks to Mickey B. for forwarding the latest copy of the Leicester City fanzine The Roof. His fingerprints (or those of some other follower of HMHB) appear in one of the articles. One refers to Graham Cross whose sporting career encompassed both City and the Leicestershire cricket team. He played in a Benson And Hedges Cup final against Middlesex. “Crossy didn’t do a lot in the Final – 2 overs for 9 runs, one catch and a duck in the county’s reply, out LBW, fookin’ hell, by Fred Titmus.”.
We saw Attila The Stockbroker performing at Wakefield Labour Club, on his way to appearing for a few nights on the fringe of The Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He was talking about his Early Music project Barnstormer 1649. Sometimes he writes ‘new’ music for them. Seemingly this irks the purists, prompting him to mention the HMHB song.
Nige Tassell’s new book hit the streets. It looks at the bands who appeared on NME’s C86 cassette, in a sort of where-are-they-now way. It had been intended for Santa to deal with this at Christmas, but we couldn’t resist having a peep at the HMHB chapter. Much mirth. Especially the awards ceremony that is remembered by Nigel as the first time he ate salmon mousse, rather than winning the award for the best selling indie album of 1986.
Karen told me about a video meeting at work. She told everyone she was going to see Half Man Half Biscuit in a cave in Castleton. One of her colleagues piped up. “Shouldn’t that be Half Caveman Half Biscuit?” It was funny at the time. This show served as a reminder that HMHB sell out places these days, particularly the smaller venues such as this one. There were plenty of messages going out from folk who had been caught out. When I first started following HMHB on a frequent basis, one of the regular haunts was The Duchess in Leeds. In the 1980s, you could just roll up and hand over cash on the door. No problem. These days we hit the button as soon as gigs are announced, which tends to be nine months or so in advance. As Fred Pontin used to say… Book Early! That’s wise advice from Fred. Of course, not everyone has the funds to hand in advance. But that’s the way the ball bounces.
Train strikes affected journeys to this gig for a lot of folk. We opted for the car, with a satnav-dictated route along various high roads and low roads. We decided to sack that off for the ride home. Motorways and A-roads for us.
Our first Biscuiteer sighting was Postman Tony striding purposefully towards Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, where beer was being taken. Later on we saw Andy, whose plans for a journey from John O’Groats to Lands End had been scuppered. The three of us looked up at the peak of Mam Tor, sighed and decided that the climb would be put off for another time.
It would have been rude not to have bought lunch from the Castleton Fish And Chips shop. Top class, and finished off with a chocolate cone from Bradwell’s ice cream cabin. We also noted the Three Roofs cafe, where Karen pointed out to me the correct plural spelling in the name. I’m always getting the hoof/roof thing mixed up. Other calorific input came courtesy of Peveril Stores And Bakery. Chicken salad sarnie for tea, and a packet of orange chocolate biccies. Yum.
We ambled round the graveyard at St Edmunds church (“Children – please do not climb on the gravestones”), and wandered back to our own place of rest, Ye Olde Nag’s Head. On the way we saw Niall from Half Arsed Half Biscuit. They haven’t played since 2018, nor has he seen HMHB for a similar length of time. Torture. But that’s how things have been.
Once we were checked in, we saw Jenny Eclair presenting Countdown. A quick chorus from You’re Hard, and we were struggling for laughs.
Phil sent us a message from outside the venue. He had been listening to HMHB doing their soundcheck. Three songs were played:
Terminus
Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis
A Lilac Harry Quinn
We then set off out. Ye Olde Nag’s Head is only about a five-minute walk from the venue. On the way we bumped into the band, who were on the hunt for grub. Phil was outside the cavern on his lonesome. We got talking to Alison before Tony arrived, watching and listening to the many jackdaws patrolling the entrance to the cave. Apparently, they have a habit of dropping rocks on folk down below. The bastards. Fortunately, we didn’t see any evidence of that, first-hand or second-hand. After a brief chat with Team Merch (Miles and Pete), the queue built up – Postman Tony, Katherine, Karl, Steve, Andy , Graham Le Taxi, Huddersfield Graham and Sarah all arriving. Huddersfield Graham told me he had been talking about the number of times people had seen this mighty band. Chris was also in the conversation. I would have to consult with my mate Mark, who has a comprehensive list of gigs we went to from the eighties onwards. Without that full audit, I think tonight was my 178th evening with HMHB. Nothing better to do, you see.
On our previous visit here we opted for the upper standing area. But this was now out of bounds, being seating. So instead we went for the balcony, where Karen and I squeezed in. I was in a conversation between Tony (Birmingham City) and Mike (Watford), who were discussing the recent match between their two sides. Sounds like Watford’s star man is their goalie. Could be struggling if he goes.
When considering the surroundings, Phil said to me “This is the archetype rock gig.” Can’t argue with that. He also mentioned that you would need to be careful if stage diving. I’ll say. Some of those sheer drops look jolly dangerous.
These gigs usually have a support act, but not tonight. HMHB were on stage at 8 o’clock, with a 10 o’clock curfew. Didn’t have a clue about the walk-on music. Tony got a delayed response from Shazam and told me Aguirre II by Popol Vuh. I’ll go with that.
“Hello, Speedwell,” was Nigel’s opening gambit, ahead of the first song, Joy In Leeuwarden. In Renfield’s Afoot, waterproofs were, in capital letters, ESSENTIAL. ‘A notable lyric change was “Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Flintstone.”
Martine Croxall (“very under-rated”) was spotted in the crowd. There was some advice to her from the stage. “Bring him round the back. They’ll never find him.” Don Letts was also spotted later. “Any time for that extension lead back, Don.” And to the rest of us “Four grand on a Shar Pei, and it’s not even a pedigree!”.
I got found out for not knowing the name of the horses in Kes where Billy was supposed to place a bet for his brother. Brian rescued the situation with Crackpot and Tell Him He’s Dead. Linked to this film, Nigel also spoke about the recent death of Duggie Brown, who played the milkman.
I didn’t know the song from Neil at the beginning of Awkward Sean. Thanks to Phil for identifying that this was a bit of Oh! What A Beautiful Morning. Similarly, later on Nigel sang a snippet of what I thought was The Velvet Underground’s Heroin. I was confused by Solpadine appearing in the song instead. Thanks to Karen for spotting that. Nigel pointed in Karl’s direction on the “New Mills” line in The Light At The End Of The Tunnel.
I’m sure I heard Nigel muttering the words to Have You Seen Her? More likely to be a variation on the theme. Rock ‘n’ Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools was about finding a Twirl that you’d forgotten about previously. In Ninety-Nine Per Cent Of Gargoyles, Marilyn Monroe was on the scag. Nigel enquired if it was dry ice fogging up the stage, or just rising mist from the back of the cave. It looked like Carl was going to fall down there, as he seemed so far away from us.
Neil was wearing his Hats Off To Steve Hanley t-shirt. There is a line at the bottom of the shirt. I’ll try and decipher that if he wears it again when I’m standing a bit closer. Unfortunately, we had some pushing and shoving in our little section. Same advice as usual to anyone who needs to be at the front… Get there early.
“Anyone in here from Stonehaven? Anyone in here from Tavistock?” asked Nigel. He said the actress Hermione Baddeley was from there. She appeared in Brighton Rock, and her sister Angela played Mrs Bridges in Upstairs Downstairs. He gave us a stern “Ruby!” just to emphasise the point.
There was a birthday dedication from Nigel. “Matt Vallans is fifty today.” An Arsenal fan, perhaps, as Nigel added “We’re the only team with a one hundred per cent record at Highbury.”
In reply to a heckle, Nigel said that he couldn’t hear what was said. He would wait for the echo to bounce back off the rocks, and would deal with it later. He said the acoustics reminded him of Echo Rock on the Sychnant Pass near Conwy. The folks in Edale would just about be hearing Joy in Leeuwarden around about now. In reply to a request, which he heard correctly, Nigel gave the standard response “Yeah, that’s one of ours.”
Tony said to me that the beginning of PRS Yearbook sounded like La Bamba. Later in the same song, we got a demonstration of Nigel’s golf swing. Straight down the middle. Nigel raised a glass to Judith Durham of The Seekers, who died a few days before this gig.
Another heckle got the reply “You sound just like Phil Mitchell” from Nigel. He said that he had fallen down the stairs, and his wife asked him if that was Eastenders finishing early. (I had to ask Karen to explain that one.). The same guy had a special request in the encore. The John Ganley Stance. We heard a few lines of a song with a similar title, but with one word changed. Nigel mused on whether John is Len’s brother, and if, perhaps he referees table tennis matches. Desmond Douglas was mentioned.
During Every Time A Bell Rings, Nigel broke off from the recorded lyric and quoted from It’s A Wonderful Life, “Hey Bert, do you know me?”.
Immense thanks to Brian for passing on the set list. Brian was able to secure one for himself too. Here’s what the band played, compared with the list. Everything in order here.
Joy In Leeuwarden
Renfield’s Afoot
Awkward Sean
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis
The Best Things In Life (the end bit)
Bob Wilson Anchor Man
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
In A Suffolk Ditch
Rock ‘N’ Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools
Ninety-Nine Per Cent Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Little In The Way Of Sunshine
Vatican Broadside
Big Man Up Front
Part Time Punks
San Antonio Foam Party
When I Look At My Baby
Left Lyrics In Practice Room
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Terminus
PRS Yearbook / Quick The Drawbridge
National Shite Day
For What Is Chatteris?
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
Everything’s AOR
Midnight Mass Murder
The Trumpton Riots
Every Time A Bell Rings
And the encore was
The John Ganley Stance
Oblong Of Dreams
Twentieth Century Boy
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Karen had hoped that, given the setting, I, Trog might be included in the list. Alas, no. We made a very loose appointment to meet folk in the pub afterwards. But our bed was also calling us. There’ll be another time for beers. Lovely listening to someone throwing up outside our room window. And there was the sound of a shop alarm bouncing round the middle of town at 4.45am, with an encore an hour later, and again at 6.25. Charming.
On the Saturday morning I went for a stroll round and about, wearing my 90 Bisodol t-shirt. I exchanged Hellos with a chap coming the other way who was similarly attired. We are not alone.
21 August 2022
Captain Snort
Superb gig as always. Great to hear The Part Time Punks.Possibly my second favourite HMHB cover,after the This Time(1982 England World Cup Squad)cover at Bilston a few years back.
With CTSO’s permission I have a request if anyone could assist?
The day of the gig coincided with it being my 50th birthday. Unknown to me,my mates had arranged for NB to give me a shout out,which was nice,and he did.You may remember he asked an Arsenal related question.
I thought a fantastic day and night could be rounded off by trying to take home the set list as a souvenir. However at the final whistle Neil exited stage west and it never happened
Would the current owner like to make an oldish fella happy by swapping it with me for a charitable donation to a cause of his/her choice?
Fingers crossed and any help in this rather selfish request is much appreciated
21 August 2022
Neil
Captain Snort
Carl might still have his. I will ask him for you. He had it when we left the cave.
21 August 2022
Captain snort
Neil
Many thanks
Much appreciated
21 August 2022
CARRIE ANNE
@Captain Snort
If you’re not able to get the set list from the band, we have Neil’s from the gig, you’re welcome to have it.
22 August 2022
Neil
Carrie Anne
That might be a better shout as Carl had gone over his in heavy pen so he could see it in the gloom.
22 August 2022
Neil
Captain Snort
Sorry but Carl has promised it to somebody who was at the gig. Apparently he has put up with us 200 times. Hopefully Carrie Anne will be your saviour.
22 August 2022
Captain snort
Neil
Thank you so much for your efforts
Carrie Anne
Thank you so much and I would love to take you up on your offer if ok
What a community!
I’m humbled
22 August 2022
dr desperate
Tremendous gig! Great to see most of the Family Assortment again after the traditional Tour de France hiatus; especially Niall, Chev, Peter Not Bishop Brennan and new contacts @Idiot Saul and Paddy Shennan (who it turns out not only lived on the same road as me but was also one of my dad’s dental patients). Sorry to miss @FF and @Gordon Burns (until the end).
A few top-ups to Roger’s Exemplary Review: the muttered variation on The Chi-Lites’ ‘Have You Seen Her’ (no question mark, inexplicably) involved seeing Her face in the aisles at the local Tesco; the wording beneath ‘Hats Off To (Steve) Hanley’ on Neil’s tee shirt includes ‘Trad. Arr. Charles Obscure’ (a Jimmy Page pseudonym), though as at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire in 2014, the last bit was obscured – ha! – by his bass strap; the “EastEnders finishing early” gag is ©Dr JCC.
The next morning found us taking an invigorating Cave Dale Short Walk, or at least not as long as the one taken by CtSO the day before, thanks to a missing sign. Ours took in the previously-mentioned Princess Bride location and the ‘Danger Cliff Edge – Stay Out’ signs ignored by Dave from London at the recent John Shuttleworth gig.
On to Brum!
22 August 2022
Bad loser
Tickets for Norwich purchased. 2022 will see my first ever 100% attendance. I’ve spent months wondering if I really wanted to drive 250 to that gig but the full set motivated me.
22 August 2022
BOBBY SVARC
@Roger: I was that Teenage Leicester City Fan, hard to believe that I ever was a teenager, but it’s true. There is another ‘Roof Writer’ who visits these parts. His ‘Leo Saviour’ feature in the last zine was inspired.
22 August 2022
Woodnoggin
@Not Bishop Brennan, security weren’t insisting people be seated in the middle-tier front section. Most complied with the signs and remained seated but there were a few stood up and dancing at the back of that area, much to the dismay of some shorter attendees around me who had chosen their spots next to the barrier in order to actually see the band for once, over the tops of those seated in front of them. There was some heated discussion but the transgressors were too drunk to be considerate.
I enjoyed the gig but wish they’d drop National Shite Day from the set. I find it boring to watch and too long. I thought Nigel looked bored of it during the Nottingham gig but perhaps that’s just him getting into character. It was great to hear Joy in Leeuwarden, though, and the rendition of PRS Yearbook was wonderfully lively.
22 August 2022
Chris The Siteowner
Left Lyrics In Practice Room
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Terminus
PRS Yearbook / Quick The Drawbridge
National Shite Day
For What Is Chatteris?
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
Everything’s AOR
Midnight Mass Murder
The Trumpton Riots
Every Time A Bell Rings
…courtesy Andy Young – cheers!
https://youtu.be/AEmbGrw9xPY
23 August 2022
Sloppy
Looks like Andy Young was stood next to me. (sorry Andy!!)
Cracking gig, bring on Birmingham (-:
23 August 2022
GORDON BURNS
It’s Friday. It’s 5 O’clock. It’s… The start of another biscuits adventure.
My memories of Castleton were largely clouded by rain. Driving gingerly down Winnat’s Pass in the rain. Poking around the town in the rain. Sheltering from the rain in pubs and coffee shop. Whaley Bridge in the news. Threats of the Arse being flooded…
No such trouble this time. My early start meant that I parked easily in the town and was ready to explore the hills behind the cavern before lunch. I took my print-out of the walk posted/linked by CtSO, headed out of town and up Cave Dale. A great way to shake the legs loose after 5 hours in the car. There are some pretty clear “keep out” signs all around the top of the Devil’s Arse. Peering over them, it looked pretty steep and dangerous – steeper than your average railway cutting.
A gentle wander around the town, then off for some SatNav fun to find my hotel (The Royal in Hayfield, very nice, I’d stay there again).
Noticing that £3 Arse parking Parking started at 5pm, this was my target. Just in time to catch a bit of the sound check. Not quite in time to join the pizza hunt,which had already left Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. Silver lining though, wandering through the town with (@H-T) Tony & Peter, we bumped into the band, also looking for food. Apparently the queue for the chippy was huge. A bit of quick thinking from Tony had Nigel getting pizza directions live from @DrD’s dinner table. But they beat us back to the cavern, so I guess we all went hungry. Amusing to see the look on Tony’s face as Nigel pretended to throw his phone back over the road to him.
The usual hellos and nods at the entrance queue. It transpires that whie I was listening to the sound check, Phill was recording it, with scenic views of the cavern entrance and path as a backdrop. Can be found on YouTube.
As others have said, there were three tiers this time, with the front part of the middle tier roped off for a seemingly large number of seats for disabled viewing. And a (redundant?) sign asking those seated to remain seated. But they never filled and a few lucky people got themselves ring-side seats when the area was finally opened up after a few songs. I wonder what the band thought about playing to a block of empty seats.
The acoustics sounded pretty good where I was stood – interesting to see the minimal amount of gear – almost like a pub gig. Nigel made several comments about echoes though, mostly when trying to hear what was being shouted. The Airstream guitar got one of the shortestouting’s I’ve seen – one tentative strum.
A truly cracking set, as reported by others. Song highlights for this punter? PRS Yearbook / Quick The Drawbridge, San Antonio Foam Party. Two songs that are very high on my list. Oddly, I find myself (re)warming to NSD – it’s almost like they are having fun playing it and it shows.
Exiting the gig was a pleasure. Not stumblng out into some back street, but having that wonderful evening stroll by the side of the stream, with buzzing ears and a warm, happy feeling.
Not one single food outlet on my way back to the hotel. Not even a 24-hour garage. So it was last orders crisps & peanuts in the hotel bar and whatever biscuits were in my room. A superb breakfast though, but no evidence of any other biscuiteers.
Then it was back to Castleton for a hike up and over Mam Tor, returning along the Old Mam Tor Road. I’d seen a documentary about that old road on the TV recently and was pleased to be able to see it. Mam Tor seemed a doddle, compared with last time I climbed it. But I am 4 stone lighter this time, which probably helped.
To Brum…
23 August 2022
A_Shropshire_Lad
Big shout from me and my family from Shropshire to Ian McDonald from Glasgow, without whom a great night would have been a disaster. Went the extra mile to ensure we could return to our hotel safely after the gig.
Words alone cannot express our gratitude.
25 August 2022
dr desperate
Shout-outs also from Graham (not that Graham) on Marc Riley on Monday, to the lovely couple from Essex who saved his spot for him down at the front, and to the Can-listening guardian angels who picked him up halfway up Mam Tor Rd and dropped him off by his campsite.
Anyone?
25 August 2022
EXXO
Been meaning to post a few thoughts & shout-outs on the Devil’s Arse gig, and I suppose I should do so before they get lost in Birmingham stuff and Birmingham memories.
The main thing I’ve been meaning to ask is can anyone who spoke to Alice/Cheviot clarify the narrative of why she ended up sleeping under the stars and what the caving club had to do with it – I just couldn’t follow her story on the blog and I don’t think she comes on here. But major respect for the Fairy Creek logging action Alice if you do come on here – would love to hear more about that.
Yes, @Phyllis and @Toby etc, there was an extra special warmth and goodwill around this gig, with lots of people doing favours for others with tickets and lifts, and it seemed to me that those who wanted to get in got in, as is so often the case. The only ones who seemed to be on the take were the village’s cheeky jackdaws. So big thanks from me to @Ferencvaros Fan who gave me his ticket for this one, for the same reason that it seems that @Cream Cheese and Chives had given me his ticket for Durham – it clashed with a trip booked by someone else, elsewhere. The latter also did that generous thing of giving his other spare to the door staff at Durham and asking them to give it for free to any fan who was ticketless. My thanks again to them both.
@Toby – even at the start of AOR, the moshing was on a knife-edge and people needed a bit of prompting. Just keep jiggling the fuel rods from as early on as possible, and critical mass will hopefully be achieved sooner. @Phyllis you may be wondering why there was (a bit) more moshing this time than last time, so we should say the cat litter had gone on the lower level and the boys and girls where on some lovely smooth blackstuff. With regard to sound, it was always fine where I was, which helped too. A few songs in, a well-intentioned and supremely well-styled woman behind me shouted to NB that he should try to get the crowd going more, which he just pretended not to understand and deflected with a comment about Martine Croxall or some suchlike personage.
Then I wanted to say hi to @Captain Snort, the 50th birthday Arsenal fan who asked me at the end, after Nigel had mentioned it to him, for clarification about Tranmere’s 100% record at Highbury, the only English team to have a 100% record at Highbury in fact. As I mentioned, Tranmere’s win on their only appearance there was October 1973, and your excuse for not knowing was that you were only one year old. I was listening on the BBC Radio Merseyside aged 10 as Eddie Loyden’s goal went in. The Tranmere line-up that night included two future managers of the club, as well as the current owner:
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/heroes-highbury-40-years-on-6124616
Last but not least @Niall and Marcella great to see you and hope we’ll see you in Leeds before too long.
14 September 2022