Tess of the Dormobiles

I’m gonna rewind to the time when I first see you
Fast forward to the place where you say ‘I do’
Then I’ll press pause
‘Cos I’m no longer yours
How we ever got together is anyone’s guess
I was Betamax
You were VHS

You were more than happy on your own
I wasn’t even on the phone
But soon towards our fate
We seemed to gravitate
And before we knew it
I was Angel to your Tess
And your Dormobile was my new home address
And just for a while I too was VHS
Oh yes

Nature came and duly took its course
Your heroine upon a big white horse
And I fully understood
It’s for the greater good
And you asked for a divorce
And I said yes
And I went back to my old familiar mess
Hello Betamax
You know the rest

Well now who’d have thought we’d both end up in here?
So close yet so nowhere near
Hayley Mills, Daniel Boone
Me Tarzan, you June
Even now as both our ends are nigh
I’d surely kill to have a second try
But I’m on the ground floor
You’re up on high
And I’m Freeview
Bet you’re with Sky