It Makes The Room Look Bigger is another one of those songs which sound fairly straightforward to transcribe, but four people sent in these lyrics and I ended up using bits from each version. A Nigel writes: “There’s always potential to find an obscure way to make [a song] a personal favourite; in this case, the lament about the lack of key fobs with the name Nigel, whether in the souvenir stall at your footy club or your favourite Welsh castle. Many of us have had this problem, despite it being one of the most popular names of mid-1963…” (but not as popular as Chris was – Ed). Thanks to EskimoEric, Paul, Charles and Neil G.
See lyrics to It Makes The Room Look Bigger
dj
until the wonder of the interweb, i had always heard the following lines (or maybe i just preferred them) “i’m hanging up a hook to hang my hooks upon” describes beautifully the futility of diy. and “..now the plumbers gone” which makes more sense in my mind.
however, i agree that it certainly sounds like thelma
30 April 2009
Neil G
I always had it as ‘now the plumber’s gone’ and when I am singing along or singing alone while carrying out my ablutions, I shall continue to sing ‘the plumber’s’.
Also, I can’t imagine an old lady giving out a ‘karmic moan’. I am pretty certain it is ‘calming moan’, i.e. before Nigel, or the character in the song, whichever it might be, asks for the time, the old lady is on edge, tense. After he asks for the time, she calms down. Karmic moan, my arse. In my humble opinion, of course.
And I always heard the last part as ‘tiptoe to the porn show’, but I’m happy to accept Korn as being much more likely.
30 April 2009
Charles Exford
I think we can pinpoint Thelma to
T for Texas, T for Tennessee,
T for Texas, T for Tennessee
T for Thelma, that girl that made a wreck outta me …
Jimmie Rodgers, 1928 and dozens of cover versions since, including Guthrie, Dylan, and the revised version in “A Country Practice”.
Another early blues classic is “Decoration Blues” by Sonny Boy Williamson, and I always had one of me spurious and unproveable theories that that song title might have been the germ for this one, even though the “Decoration” in question has nowt to do with the kind of DIY described here.
Anyway, I think it may well be “OR” not “OH there’s generally one at twenty-five past”, because she doesn’t actually SAY “And then all of a sudden three thugs rob your pension”, he imagines her saying that,and then he says what she really says/is more likely to say … if you see what I mean.
So we have him imagining 2 versions of what she might have said in an imaginary conversation, and contrasting them for comic effect. Which is entirely lost when I over-analyse it. Sorry about that.
30 April 2009
Neil G
Charles,
I think some of these analyses are best kept in your personal diary for future generations to pore over and wonder at.
I have listened again and it does sound like ‘now that Thelma’s gone’. Damn. Every time I build up a mental structure of the world, it comes crumbling down around me. I think I’ll probably stick to ‘the plumber’ in the shower, though. If you see what I mean.
30 April 2009
Charles Exford
Neil,
CQTM at visions of you in the shower with the plumber. If you find a good one let me know.
I have come to realise that they (the spurious little theories) irritate you, and I shall bear your feedback in mind. I think it’s good to have different styles on here meself, but it’s Chris’ site and if he (or for that matter a significant number of his readers) disagree then I shall curb the enthusiasm. Blogs are a very personal thing.
Or I could just have some sort of signal in me posts for you to stop reading the rambling bits. Or you could just not read at all when you see my pseudy-nym.
Anyway, sticking to the ‘facts’ (for now). Thursday being me split shift I have returned home to listen again and observed:
(i) Thank you for ‘stores’, I think I previously wrongly thought ‘stalls’. ‘Stalls’ don’t have CCTV. Silly me ( I won’t say anything about being misled by preconceptions of Nigel preferring street stalls to official stores at footy clubs, for example -that would be pointless theorising)
(ii) I reckon even more strongly than ever it’s “OR” for the reasons described above. And cos it sounds more like “OR”.
(iii) I’d never noticed the echo effect on the last “room looks bigger” till just now. Hee hee, very clever.
30 April 2009
Neil G
Charles,
I’m not irritated. I was being flippant. Some of your theories do seem a bit outlandish though. Then again, Galileo was reviled in his time.
I do think that the ‘or’ sound is just an extended ‘oh’. It reminded me of the story about John Wayne as a Roman Centurion in The Greatest Story Ever Told. He was required to say ‘Surely this was the Son of God’. He said it with his usual slow drawl and the director told him ‘That was OK, John but could you do it again with a little more awe in your voice’. So he said ‘Aw, surely this is the Son of God’.
30 April 2009
John Anderson
I’m absolutely convinced it is:
a) Hooks
b) Thelma
c) Karmic
1 May 2009
Dave F.
I’m at a loss to understand how it can be anything other than: Hooks, Thelma, Karmic & Oh.
Personally I’d think Mr. E. is in the need of a good editor to severely prune his thoughts before clicking submit. I don’t mind the theories, but boy, does he go on. And on.
1 May 2009
Simon
Karmic and Thelma, definitely, but having just listened again I think it’s hopes (though I prefer hooks).
2 May 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Thanks for all the comments. I’m more than happy with anyone going on and on, by the way.
For now, I think I’ll stick with “hopes”, “Thelma, “karmic” and “oh”, but as ever, I’ll go with a clear majority of commenters, should any sort of gap open up. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to be setting up any online polls any time soon.
2 May 2009
Neil G
Why does anyone think it’s ‘karmic’?
Karmic – ‘the force generated by a person’s actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person’s next existence’
What the fucking hell has that got to do with an elderly lady at a bus stop? It is obviously ‘calming moan’. I have listened to it several times through headphones. I repeat – karmic my arse.
It is also ‘hang my hopes upon’. To ‘hang one’s hopes upon’ something is a reasonably common phrase. I’ve never heard of anyone hanging their hooks on a hook. Perhaps I’ve led a sheltered life.
2 May 2009
Kevan
Believing that the mere action of waiting twenty minutes for a bus will itself generate three buses (or three thugs) sounds pretty karmic from here.
2 May 2009
Dave F.
Sorry, I had a bit of a brain fade typo.
I meant: “a hook to hang my hopes”
@ Neil G.
Who would she be trying to calm?
Although probably not an accurate meaning of the word, hasn’t karma come to mean ‘well being’ in westernised countries? or even relaxed/ a good feeling?
I’m pretty sure I can hear the click of ‘ic in Neil’s voice.
3 May 2009
Neil G
Dave F. ‘Why would she be trying to calm?’
Well she wouldn’t be trying to calm. She would be calming (down) naturally as a result of the potentially dangerous man at the bus stop turning out to be a pleasant chap with a friendly tone. This has happened to me many times. It struck a chord the first time I heard it. My jaw dropped in best Gordon Brown fashion and I just went ‘Yes! That’s right!’ I thought it was just me who was nice enough to reassure elderly ladies that I wasn’t going to eat them or grab their pensions. Before you say anything to them, they are looking at you out of the corner of their eye, checking to see if you’re going to mug them. They keep a firm grip on their handbags and every muscle is tense. After you ask, in a friendly tone, for the time or enquire as to when the next bus is due, they physically relax and give out a sigh as they answer – a ‘calming moan’. It’s ‘calming’ rather than ‘calm’ because they are answering before they have become completely calm. As they speak, they are in the process of ‘calming’. I thought this was obvious.
4 May 2009
Ben
Neil, you’re verging into Elms/Alms rant mode again aren’t you? 😉
4 May 2009
Neil G
Ben,
Possibly, but this time I’m on the side of reasonableness. ‘Calming’ is reasonable, ‘karmic’ makes no sense at all. Not to mention the fact that it sounds like ‘calming’ and not ‘karmic’.
4 May 2009
Peter Gandy
I agree with the lyrics as they currently stand: hopes, Thelma and karmic.
Korn spell their name with the Cyrillic letter ‘ya’, but I don’t suppose you have a Cyrillic keyboard. It’s a minor bugbear of mine that whenever a Russian word with an R in it is used in, for example, an advert, the R is written backwards. In the Cyrillic alphabet, the R sound is represented as a P, so Russia would be spelled as POCCNA (with the N rotated through 180 degrees). Although rotation through 180 degrees would still make it an N (doh).
12 May 2009
biscuitface
Pelmet.
Now that the pelmets gone, it makes the room look bigger.
Seeing as it’s about decorating.
14 June 2009
Alan K
Yep, I’ve always heard it as pelmet. A decorating song with a decorating reference…which is irritating.
31 October 2009
Ben
Surely this had long been put to bed?
‘Thelma’ is one of the “they’re” coming round to look at Nige’s decorating, she’s said ‘it’ makes the room look bigger, after ‘they’ (thelma and her other half) have gone, Nigel looks at his handiwork and concedes that indeed Thelma was right, his decorating has made the room look bigger.
The answers are always in the clues people.
31 October 2009
Charles Exford
I’m also sure it’s Thelma, but I doubt she’s one of ‘them’.
Thelma’s the ex who’s recently gone, for the reasons stated above – if NB had to choose a name to break up from, it would surley be Jimmie Rodgers’ Thelma. ‘They’ are partly coming round to try and cheer him up with pleasantries (plenty more fish/Amoco Cadiz type routine).
I’d like to think that certain scenes in early episodes of the brilliant TV series “Pulling” were written under influence of this song, though obviously they probably weren’t.
31 October 2009
dagenham dave
On the Thelma/plumber question, there’s two distinct vocals and I’m convinced that one of them is saying ‘plumber’, the previous word sounds to me like ‘the’ rather than ‘that’ which would be used if Thelma was the next word.
On the calming/karmic issue. Firstly it sounds like ‘karmic’ and secondly I’ve always thought it describes the rambling conversations that go from one topic seamlessly into another favoured by old folks
25 February 2010
Charles Exford
‘Thelma’ and ‘karmic’ confirmed.
predictably NB57 said my theory was wrong that he was thinking about the Thelma in “T for Texas, T for Tennessee, T for Thelma” He just likes those old-fashioned names, e.g. Thelma, Joyce, Phyllis, Maud, etc.
As for ‘karmic’ he said he intended it in the sense of ‘mantric’
(pehaps like a long drawn-out ‘om’ sort of sound ?)
2 April 2010
grilly
i recently stuck this song on a mixtape – http://grilly.blogspot.com/2010/05/mixtape-3-tweezers.html – with some thematically matched songs.
if you fancy giving it a listen, you might enjoy it, you might find a few new bands you might like…
cheers
grilly
14 June 2010
La-la-landlubber
Am I the only one who’s worried about poor Thelma, whoever she is? Let’s recap:
• Thelma’s “gone”
• the gas has been shut off
• hope is fading (of what?)
• our trusty narrator’s been “decorating” (covering his tracks?)
• there’s more room in the place now (so what’s missing?)
• even strangers on the street think he’s dangerous
A case for Miss Marple?
8 August 2011
ACIDIC REGULATOR
Dept. of the Bldn’ Obv … I’ve been trying to block this out for years, but some people may never have had the … other versions are available, even if none is more … distinctive.
27 July 2012
Dr Desperate
I suspect there may be another Flanders & Swann reference in the chorus, follow oh following on from the ‘Mud, Glorious Mud’ quote in TDSN. Could the fella coming round to put the gas back on perhaps be a CORGI-registered friend of the title character in ‘The Gasman Cometh’, putting right the damage caused by injudicious decorating? http://www.iankitching.me.uk/humour/hippo/gas.html
(You may notice the song also mentions several other workmen, though not, interestingly enough, a plumber.)
16 July 2013
Slow dempsey
To my eye at least, there’s an unnecessary capital in “Korn Show”.
I reckon “Korn show”.
31 October 2014
ExxO
Will be very interested to see how long you can keep up the 100% record Dempsey.
31 October 2014
dr desperate
Touch of over-hyphenation in ‘sub-machine-gun’ there, I fancy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submachine_gun
21 September 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Corrected. Amazing how long it takes for some of these things to get noticed, isn’t it? When the A to Z finishes (next year, folks!) I was thinking of having a “song of the day” where we can all go and revisit what’s on the site.
21 September 2016
Peter mcornotholgist
Rare as hens teeth . A frequently used phrase hereabouts. Wonderful. Can’t work out the onset. ?
6 October 2016
dickhead in quicksand
Are hens’ teeth more or less rare than rocking horse shit? The world needs to know.
28 October 2016
Mark Vance
It is not Thelma. It is pelmet. Now that the pelmet’s gone it makes the room look bigger…
4 March 2018
CHARLES EXFORD
The Bard himself confirmed ‘Thelma’ (post 23 above).
5 March 2018
dr desperate
Reconsidering my post 30 above, I checked out my dictionaries and found ‘submachine-gun’ in Chambers, ‘sub-machinegun’ in the OED and ‘sub-machine-gun’ in Collins.
All in all, don’t you think it’s a good job that I checked?
11 March 2020
Transit full of keith
It is ‘submachine gun’ in Cambridge, the correct one.
14 March 2020