Beautiful Kendal, ideally situated centrally for Cartmel, Ambleside and Tebay Services, is also a good stop-off if you happen to be travelling from, say, Edinburgh to Birkenhead. And it just so happens…
Over to you for the reviews.
Beautiful Kendal, ideally situated centrally for Cartmel, Ambleside and Tebay Services, is also a good stop-off if you happen to be travelling from, say, Edinburgh to Birkenhead. And it just so happens…
Over to you for the reviews.
Helen Carr
Crap venue, quirky set list, excellent 24 Hour Garage People, always good to see a middle-aged man crowd surfing. Apparently the vegetable soup was nice.
2 July 2011
S.G.D A SHROPSHIRE LAD
I thought that the venue was good as long as you didn’t actually want to see the band playing.
The low roof gave the crowd surfing a real claustrophobic feel(think the Cure’s “Close To Me” video)
Pringles at £1.46, but you don’t mind paying that to a Doctor Who aficionado.
A day in the life of Nigel informed us of his rock’n’roll lifestyle – oh how the other half live!
I can’t help with the set list but “Moody Chops” featured again and the cover was “Help” which a few of us in front of the speakers were thinking whilst they tried to get the volume sorted.
2 July 2011
argieuk
Aye, at least the sound was good, in comparison to recent gigs- could hear (nearly) every word.
Seem to be a lot of very tall people close to the front, which didn’t help, and very little movement (apart from in small patches)- just a lot of staring and apparent vibrating.
Although actually seeing the band an important part of going to a gig- still better than most other HMHB gigs I’ve been to recently.
2 July 2011
cuthbertmuttonchops
Old brewery Malt room with a low roof brewers of the past must of been midgets when stacking sacks of malt and barley never mind that….Oh the gig set list brilliant couldn’t see stage too well but sounded great by the time i did get to see all of the band play was joy division gloves when nigel smashed is face in with the mike and carried on as if nothing had happened. also liked bill withers joke here;s one for you what do you call a singer with a biscuit on his head lionel rich tea….nice to hear the new tunes too looking forward to any new album out soon oh also couldn’t get stupid blue wristband off i leave you with the words of frankie valli and the four seasons oh what a night
2 July 2011
Jitsu_g
Just back from a top weekend in Kendal – thought the venue as a whole was really good but as others have mentioned the low ceiling and 6 ft 8 hulks stood at the front made it a bit difficult to see anything other than the bands heads ( thought that maybe height is inversely proportional to eye sight so the tall folk flock to the front). Also nice to pay (only) £2.50 for a proper pint at a gig
It was the other halfs first biscuits gig and she had a good time (at the back) and is now up to the point of being able to sing along to a couple of tunes !
I was wondering what the old dears on the door would make of it all – until I spied one of them sat on a chair off to the side seemingly having a whale of a time !!
3 July 2011
Geordie Paul
I took some pictures on Friday night which I’d be happy to share here. I was stood right in front of Nigel so they are close up. I was the person who was asking him where he went for breakfast and some other talk.
It was the first time I’ve seen HMHB as I’ve only just got into them. It was one of the best gigs I’ve ever seen. I hope someone can come up with a setlist.
5 July 2011
Phillip
Just a snippet of 24HGP…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1unOiofifI
…I was too busy avoiding entering the stage area to do more.
5 July 2011
Gregg Z
Where’s the bleedin’ setlist??
6 July 2011
Charles Exford
Here it is, thanks to Roger Green on hmhb.co.uk
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
When The Evening Sun Goes Down
Totnes Bickering Fair
Gouranga
The Best Things In Life
Bottleneck At Capel Curig
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
Look Dad No Tunes
Petty Sessions
Left Lyrics In Practice Room
Moody Chops
Bob Wilson Anchorman
1966 And All That
Surging Out Of Convalescence
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
For What Is Chatteris?
Paintball’s Coming Home
A Lilac Harry Quinn
24 Hour Garage People
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Everything’s AOR
Vatican Broadside
National Shite Day
Joy Division Oven Gloves (with a very nice bass line of “Digital” beforehand)
And the three in the encore were
Tommy Walsh’s Eco House
Help
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
6 July 2011
Geordie Paul
I have managed to put some of the photos I took on Friday up on Flickr.
Hope you like them.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/64905930@N05/sets/72157627140325056/
7 July 2011
Amanda the Wristbander.
I submitted this extract from my diary to our parish newsletter in Kendal and the vicar suggested it deserved a wider audience on the worldwide internet. He found this site for me, so here it is. I’m sorry I don’t know the names of the songs they played at the concert, but now I am a fan of the boys and I do intend to learn them all.
When I tell my friends from other parts that I volunteer at the Kendal Brewery, they are always jealous and make jokes about the possible alcoholic perks of such a contribution to the Big Society. When I told my old friends at the bowls club about how I once got to see that nice Michael McIntyre for free at the Brewery, they volunteered too, which is how myself and my fellow senior citizens, Norman the doorman and Collette the usherette, came to be doing front of house for a very unusual performance last Friday. The Brewery Arts Centre, as the name suggests, hosts a huge variety of performances and Collette’s husband The Mayor reckons us volunteers “help to keep the creative juices of Kendal flowing.” I don’t know what he does while we’re out volunteering, but I wish he’d keep his juices to himself sometimes.
In the last fortnight alone, we have volunteered for front-of-house duties as the Brewery hosted a talk by a famous mountaineer called Mark Thomas, a local college performance of The Sound of Music, and an American horror film called Bad Teacher. But the most educational of all was this performance last Friday by a pop group called Half Man Half Biscuit. I haven’t heard of them before, but they were big in the hit parade in the eighties, a charming chap from Liverpool called Geoff explains to us. He introduces us to the band as they arrive and the singer, called Nigel, is soon called over to show me his unusual caravan-shaped guitar. Most bands like do a sound-check but this one just potters around amiably asking what the soup of the day is.
Geoff is setting up a stall selling their CDs and other merchandise. Norman purchases an Evil Gazebo golf tee, and I particularly admire one of the t-shirts with a motorway sign on it, living right by the M6 as I do. Geoff hints that he might give me an OAP discount if I keep an eye on the stall while everyone goes upstairs for something to eat before the doors open. While they are all out, two business-like young men in high-visibility jackets arrive and wave something at me which looks like a membership card to Alcoholics Anonymous. Norman explains helpfully that it’s a “triple-A laminate” and that dangly thing’s called a “lanyard”. The gentlemen inform us that they have come to help set up the PA and I watch them go about their work, checking some of the wiring near the stage. Health and Safety must be stressful and thirsty work, for they are soon enjoying a pint of Kendal’s finest from the bar and looking more relaxed about their duties. Later on during the concert I notice them, now without their high-vis jackets, jumping around in front of the stage. They seem to have made friends with another interesting bunch of out-of-towners, who are apparently from a touring Czech football team. One member of the team, who arrives late, has still got his full kit on. Given this valid sporting excuse, we decide not to reserve the right to not seat latecomers at our discretion. We get all sorts through here on their way to the Lakes or Scotland. Shortly after his arrival there is an altercation involving spillage of a pint of what appears to be Ribena. The clumsy moshers responsible for this outrage soon get their comeuppance, as from this moment on they are pretty much glued to the floor by the sticky blackcurrant juice, assuming a sort of permanently frozen jogging position.
This extraordinary fourpiece’s material spans a fascinating variety of subjects and styles, and we get the distinct impression that the singer is trying to make the songs relevant to us, as elderly newcomers to their material. The songs truly span the generations, as great folk music should, I suppose. As well as giving useful advice on presents for obsessive grandchildren, he mentions that one song is about his own grandfather – “the first man in Skipton to get an electric shock” and that “This one is about a 900-year old Yew Tree.” I didn’t hear the lyrics of that last one too well, but the chorus sounded something like “what’s Clatterbridge if you’re not there?”, alluding to a favourite spot on the Wirral, no doubt. He even sings one song about “the first two people to defy Torquay United’s ban on away supporters in 1987. Me and him.“ He gestures towards the bass player. “We were even naive enough to discuss what we’d do to avoid getting a beating if our team actually scored. We decided the only safe thing to do would be to run on the pitch and get thrown out. Needless to say we didn’t ever need to put that particular plan into action.” Nigel is a great improviser and even manages to spontaneously twist the lyrics so that they mention the name of the visiting Czech football team, which is prominent on their shirts.
I notice that the two Health and Safety officials who came in before the concert are now supervising some crowd surfing. It’s good to have the experts around and soon they themselves are doing a demonstration of how to do it safely. It’s nice that Cumbria Council employs people who enjoy their work so much, and Norman tells me that one of them is even wearing a Tranmere Rovers away shirt to make the band feel at home. Soon there is even a traditional Tranmere crowd chant of “Super White Barm Cakes”, which the singer echoes back delightedly – Nigel clearly loves his football songs. “He’s fat, he’s round, he thinks he’s Ezra Pound,” the front man chants between two of his songs, though it is not clear to whom he’s referring.
We have learned to be wary in Kendal when a crowd has come down from Carlisle or Penrith for one of these rowdier concerts, recently prompting Norman the doorman to take up Karate-Do. Or was it Kendo? Something Chinese like that. Then he put his back out at only his second lesson, so these days he prefers a No-Can-Do approach to security. He is often heard wishing that Hadrian’s Wall had been built forty miles further south , but tonight the crowd remains surprisingly good-natured, the North Cumbrian tribes ably kept in their place by toy-sword-like-wit of the band’s frontman, their incoherent semi-Pictish heckles met with a variety of put-downs. These include “he had a load of plasticene dumped outside his house this morning… He didn’t know what to make of it.” If that doesn’t work, he can throw in a random Christmas cracker-style joke: “How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it into the microwave till its bill withers.” The guitarist is seen asking the drummer to produce a “bum-tish” after each such punch-line, but the percussionist is having none of it, even when the frontman declares that “this gets more and more like the Grumbleweeds”. A persistent demand from one heckler to hear the Jim Reeves song “Old Tige” is met with a polite apology – it’s been 25 years since they’ve performed that one- and a wistful monologue about how amazing it is that singers like Mr. Reeves or the Reverend George Jones can sing with such emotion songs that they didn’t even write themselves.
At times, the closeness of the audience (none of the glaring spotlights and crowd barriers that these big rock stars are used to) seems to act like some sort of truth pill for the singer, who can see the whites of his interrogators’ eyes and is perhaps scared of the consequences if he fails to tell the whole truth. He’s asked whether he’s seen any of the local sights today and one of the foodies in the audience wants to know what he had for dinner. After a wise disambiguation of the word “dinner”, Nigel replies apologetically that because the band didn’t get to Kendal till 5pm they’ve only had time to have some potato wedges and some soup courtesy of our cafe at the Brewery (“it was nice but I don’t know what flavour it was”), to check out the tapestry exhibition, and to “decide to do this next song.” With that he introduces another geographically-themed piece, this one about the reclamation of the Zuiderzee, which we are told will now be completed “by two-oh-one-three.”
Further cross-examination about Nigel’s daily routine is met with a detailed account of his breakfast this morning after last night’s peformance in Edinburgh –washed down with soluble solpadeine from Boots in Prince’s Street , he says. In response to an enquiry about The Great Tram Fiasco in the Athens of the North, he tells us that at least it remains pleasantly easy to cross the roads in Auld Reekie. He also gives useful details of a stop at Abington services -the best motorway toilets in Scotland according to a recent survey (Norman told me that, not Nigel). My diary fails to recall which one of these various subjects causes the singer to tell us that “I’m like a 12-year-old child”, and to immediately clarify to a 12-year-old child immediately in front of him in the front row that there’s “no offence intended”.
None intended and none taken by any of the generations present, Nigel. We are one big family here, with no generation gaps. This band are a lesson in politeness in comparison with the usual rock business antics we get here. Some of the touring tribute acts are particularly notorious for it, and seem to have difficulty adapting to the sensibilities of the volunteer septuagenarians of the KBAC. Recently I’ve witnessed highly strung histrionics from Proxy Music, extensive damage and disharmony by Sunford & Moms, together with impropriety, insults and broken window panes from a Welsh tribute act called The Patio Doors. I’ve also heard tales of drug-crazed obscenity from The Rollright Stones and thorough-going unpleasantness from an act called “The Jimi Hendrix Experience Experience [sic]”, who doused the whole place in lighter fuel when Norman tried to stop him setting fire to his guitar.
No, Half Man Half Biscuit are quite literally a lesson in politeness, encapsulated particularly in one final song that I must tell you about. Again I didn’t catch the title, but was all about how late-night garage attendants should be more polite. The villain of the piece is called Kaal (spelt like that on his name badge because he used to be in New Romantic pop group). Kaal is hostile towards our hero and his friends even though they have come together for a charity fund-raiser , forming a polite queue, and need, respectively: some travel sweets with loads of flour on, a fire log, a chat about the Nut content of Golden Grahams and a Pam Ferris jigsaw that’s been on display behind the counter since the early 80s. The assistant has some sort of John Pertwee / Dr. Who fan memorabilia on display, but rudely refuses to engage in conversation about Pertwee’s other roles, even when thorny questions are raised about that Worzel Gummidge / Aunt Sally relationship. Kaal is more interested in his Wordsearch (BARCLAY JAMES HARVEST, SUGGESTION, DEODORANT) than in his customers, and this band are crusading for better service. They don’t seem to want to give offence to anyone other than fans of BJH, Slipknot or Annie Lennox, bad tattooists and people who read gangster memoirs on the beach. Unfortunately my friend Collette the usherette’s son Malcolm ticks a majority of those boxes, but he can’t complain because she did get him in for free, and by this stage of the gig he already has his coat on anyway. The garage attendant gets his deserved comeuppance in the end, too.
The rest of us all loved every minute, and we yelled for more when they went off stage at the end. Kitty from the kitchen was dispatched backstage to inform the frontman that the soup had of course been vegetable flavour. This did the trick, because Nigel then came back to tell the foodies in the audience about the soup and stayed to do three more songs. For two of them he even used his caravan-shaped guitar, though it failed to produce the effects he required and at the end he was trying to give it away to anyone who wanted to take it. The band truly united the generations when they played that Beatles cover version at the end. In fact, ‘Help!’ was number one the day I married my Frank in 1965, and it certainly summed up how I felt at the time, so I loved the band even more after this particular nostalgia trip. At the end of the night we all staggered out with our various new friends, singing the songs of this new Fab Four, and even the Czechs and the men in Hi-Vis were singing:
“Oh you can’t put your foot up in Europe,
You can’t show your studs on the ‘nent.”
This band certainly stand comparison with the Beatles or with the Sound of Music, and I can promise you they’re certainly a lot better than Proxy Music. So why have none of my friends in South Cumbria ever heard of them I wonder? It’s time for their education to start!
Amanda the Wristbander.
2 August 2011
Paul F
Beautifully written “Amanda”.
3 August 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Chapeau to Amanda for a remarkable essay. Impressive recall for one with zero previous experience of the band, yet sufficiently naive not to look like it’s been faked.
Although “The Patio Doors” sounds more like one of Nigel’s inventions…
4 August 2011
Dave Wiggins
‘Amanda’; quality stuff, but I am sitting here contemplatively stroking my goatee (not a euphimism Audrey). Hmmm…………
8 August 2011