About as close as we’re ever likely to get to a hometown gig, the band return to Liverpool for the first time in 13 years. Tickets have never been so scarce. But how did it go? Over to you…
About as close as we’re ever likely to get to a hometown gig, the band return to Liverpool for the first time in 13 years. Tickets have never been so scarce. But how did it go? Over to you…
Creative chub
Definitely full.
28 September 2018
alan
No one ever listened
To a single word he said
29 September 2018
WARDEN HODGES
Great night. Home now and Nigel did mention the good town of Crosby. Them bloody giant dolls in town next week . 9.15 start but yep quality night with the new songs fitting in very nicely.
29 September 2018
BAD LOSER
Maincrest Car & Van Hire 733 3201.
Possibly the only advert on Radio City in 1970s
29 September 2018
POP-TART MARK
Poor little Jimmy – wooden Lego.
Yes, embarrassing at the time, but those old toys are worth a fortune now.
29 September 2018
Cathy Staniforth
The good people of Dovecot call “wool”.
29 September 2018
Neaththewindmill
Never seen a 2 berth guitar played so serenely..
29 September 2018
DagenhAm davE
I turn fifty next month. Might give that badminton group a call.
29 September 2018
Gok wan acoLyte
So Nigel is the person with the Walrus card (Merseytravel’s half arsed attempt to emulate Oyster cards in London)
29 September 2018
Inflatablebone
Great gig in Liverpool last night, they really cranked the sound up about 3/4 through. Deaf in one ear this morning. Nigel fu€£ed up the lyrics to ‘Jimmy Jimmy’ a bit not that it mattered. Storming set.
29 September 2018
Dagenham dave
Did anyone make a note of the ‘England team’ verse of Paintball… ?
I know the last line was about the annoying drum/trumpet combo but I can’t remember it.
29 September 2018
WilFred pickles
@Dagenham Dave
“They can recognise players from the England team…and they love all the trumpets and the drums.”
Followed by,
“They are super happy, and super proud…to be driving round in lemon coloured Fiats.”
29 September 2018
EXXO
Didn’t make a note but we’ve certainly had the first line before:
“They recognise the players in the England team (x3)
And they really like the trumpets and drums.”
29 September 2018
Dagenham dave
Ta chaps
29 September 2018
Inflatablebone
am considering over 50s badminton on Tuesday in West Kirby
29 September 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Just having an hair of the dog in the spoons at the station after another great night of see-ing the boys in Liverpool and came across this review from Peter Guy.
Nigel on top form last night-anecdotes about Crosby, word association games, his mate Lol’s back yard decking, Dovecot, wools and The Giants – as Half Man Half Biscuit played two hours plus to a rapturous sold out Liverpool…
29 September 2018
Gok wan acolyte
What was the opening music? Sounded like an epic Western and was vaguely familiar but couldn’t place it
29 September 2018
Mel Wood
Suitably grand entrance music….Someone said it was the theme from ‘Zulu’…?
29 September 2018
Thisleadenpaul
The badminton story should be considered in connection with the Soylent Green quote – that’s why they have to advertise EVERY week…
29 September 2018
GoK wan acolyte
You’re right- it was https://youtu.be/yvpnNa1nFWI
29 September 2018
Bad loser
Last night’s forgotten lyric, if I recall correctly, was the entire first verse of ‘Bob Todd’
29 September 2018
BOBBY SVARC
Has someone been reading Ian Knight’s book ‘Zulu Rising’?
29 September 2018
The harbinger of nothing
Has anyone got the setlist?
29 September 2018
Eric t’viking
First time I’ve ever immediately got the walk on music (the theme from Zulu, by John Barry, as already mentioned). Mind you, that’s only because I bought the dvd from a charity shop a couple of weeks ago… Still an excellent film.
Thoroughly enjoyed the gig, interesting mix of old and new, and yes it did get very loud (did they find 11 on the volume?). Missed the support as we had gone to find a chippy, but saw JD Meatyard in Ma Egerton’s afterwards, whilst we were absorbing some much needed replacement fluids. Recognised him by the hat.
Thanks to Phyllis Triggs for getting my ticket and organising transport to Liverpool. Though quite how she manages to dance and bounce throughout the whole event is beyond me…
29 September 2018
Neaththewindmill
Who was the guy/ band that supported them last night?
29 September 2018
BOBBY SVARC
jd meatyard and Sonnenberg
29 September 2018
Gok wan acolyte
@badloser apart from losing a verse, wasn’t the line changed to “but Marilyn Monroe was not a slag”? (I believe we’ve had a past discussion around the fact that Nigel regrets the original)
29 September 2018
Transit full of keith
Wasn’t at the gig but I’ve heard “Marilyn Monroe was just a drag” before. See also Bette Midler, who has a puma these days.
Has anyone typed out the set list yet? Did they do Umberstone Covert or Mod Diff?
30 September 2018
mister tubbs
Not in order, but the set list was more or less:- 1966 and all that, Fred Titmus, Bob Todd, Trumpon riots, Dukla Prague, AOR, squabble fest, Paintball, Look Dad No Tunes, Bob Wilson, Lark Descending, Slipknot, Light at the end of the tunnel, Restless legs, Ch*tteris, Joy Division, Trad arr tune, National shite day, Korfball, Bad Wools, Bat walks, Terminus, Colombia, Every time a bell rings, Mod Diff, Umberstone, Checkatrade, Jimmy jimmy(cover), plus a “car and van hire” jingle which I’m sure they’ve done in the past. There was also a very entertaining sound man.
30 September 2018
hendrix-tattoo
I think it may of been Marilyn Monroe was just a Hag…
30 September 2018
SL Obispo
At the gig, I heard that our Marilyn was, ‘On the skag’… Perhaps I am mistaken!
30 September 2018
Chris The Siteowner
Keith – they did both songs, indeed I think I counted more than half of the new album. Most welcome, although I have to say I don’t think some of the new songs come over as well live as a lot of the traditional stuff does. Someone will shoot me down on that opinion, I’m sure.
Overall, a decent performance which was always going to struggle to live up to the occasion. NB10 seemed to be going out of his way to make it seem like any other gig. The sound was fine, the audience fairly lively, and the set list pretty comprehensive. Great to meet up with so many regulars (from here and from gigs). Hope somebody has the time to write considered thoughts here soon.
30 September 2018
dr Desperate
I don’t know if you happen to know what the word ‘excesses’ means, but those are what we, when back in Liverpool, invariably commit. Fast-forward montage Thursday afternoon: Bridget Riley at The Tate, ferry ‘round the Mersey, Biennial installations, doing the tourist thing on Mathew Street. Recce pint at the Richard John Blackler ‘Spoons, crispy duck at Mei Mei in Chinatown, Limerick band whenyoung at Shipping Forecast, buy merch beret. Eight hours down, forty to go.
Friday was more relaxed, picking up various Biscuiteers from Lime St (didn’t hear any Kylie station announcements) and herding them to the World Museum to see the Ricotta Warriors. Back to ‘Spoons to display Micky’s Marvellous Model of the Robin2 gig to literally several astonished fans and afternoon drinkers. Greetings to Roger and Karen, Postie Tony, Scottish Andy, CtSO and JtOSO (John the original site-owner) among others. Pizzas all round, as they should be.
Drop in at Ma Egerton’s where we were presented with unsolicited free Papworth General t-shirts (many thanks, Brian), out past importuning touts into the Academy, and at long last – Biscuits in Liverpool!
As noted, excellent support was provided by JD Meatyard, with excellent songs from his just-recorded new album (Neil, the bassist on bass) then Sonnenberg. Exxo and Thorsten arrived hot from the Magical Biscuitry Tour, just in time for an unexplained 15-minute wait which gave us the opportunity to lay First Song bets. I had TLATEOTT. Gave a little grin on recognising the walk-on music as the theme from ‘Zulu’, then a bigger one on hearing, “She stayed with me until…”
Without a definitive Roger Green review I will only say that the setlist was exemplary, including most of the second half of ‘Fuckin’ Hedge’ (sorry, @TFoK). As far as I can calculate, there are now only three new songs untried in a live environment, including ‘Bladderwrack Allowance’ – a shame, as there was a Biscuit virgin at the barrier in front of me who might have enjoyed it.
There was much Blackwellian banter with the crowd, kicking off with his response to my “How did you get here?”: “Piece of piss, only 15 minutes.” On the unwarranted assumption that I had come from Dovecote, he reckoned he could have beaten me there if it had come to a race.
Free jazz saxophonist Lol “Laughing Out Loud” Coxhill was spotted in the crowd, as was someone Nigel recognised from ten years ago: “Not the face, the shirt”.
He enquired if anyone there was from Crosby (“What do you want, a medal?”) or over 50, in which case they might consider joining the West Kirby Badminton Club, who advertise for older members every week in the freesheet. “What are they doing with them all? SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!”
Wizard Tony (I think) was asked if he’d eaten before the gig, with advice that Liverpool now has loads of brilliant eateries, though “You probably just went to Nando’s”. The band had apparently chowed down at the vegetarian ‘Down The Hatch’ on Duke St., near a new restaurant which serves pelican. “Delicious, but the bill’s massive.”
We were asked if we’d done the tourist thing on Mathew St (see above) with sideswipes at its spelling, to the effect that it should either have two t’s or be pronounced “Maithew”, and the siting of the band-listing bricks on the wall outside ‘The Cavern’. For reasons I missed, we were also advised to swerve the Giants, due back in Liverpool next weekend.
There was a word association football game involving the names of grounds including Oldham Athletic’s, with Nigel winning a fiver off Neil for every correct answer.
As for the between-banter bits, Marilyn Monroe was definitely not a slag and, somewhat implausibly, Australians rather than Austrians were everywhere in Leeuwarden. The first verse of ‘99% of Gargoyles’ went missing, made up for by appending the Radio City jingle for Maincrest Car & Van Hire (“7 double-3, 3 2 0 1”) last heard on Roger Hill’s 2017 Radio Merseyside show on which the band covered ‘Mandy’.
Speaking of covers, we were treated to a verse of Webb Pierce’s ‘There Stands The Glass’ (of Solpadeine) and an almost-correct version of The Undertones’ ‘Jimmy Jimmy’.
Gearheads will be pleased to hear that the Airstream guitar was towed out for ‘Trumpton Riots’, and Karl’s axe appears to have a bullet-hole in it. The arshall amp retains its last four letters.
The inappropriate walk-off music was ‘Sumer Is A-Cumen In’ from ‘The Wicker Man’, and after a quick chat with Uncle John Meatyard we were curfewed out. After-match lagers were taken at ‘Spoons; carriages 12.30.
On to Manc!
30 September 2018
WARDEN HODGES
Nigel mentioned the Walrus travel card, writing face down on the (bus)drivers scanning thing if I remember, only used it once.
30 September 2018
CarriE anne
@SL OPISBO I too heard that Marilyn was on the scag
30 September 2018
CArrie Anne
The ‘celebrity’ spotted in the crowd was actually Lol Cottrell, erstwhile star of The Big Time and Liverpool player.
30 September 2018
EXXO
Thanks for the report John, and yes, I’ll happily be the first to bite at that, Chris. I thought the new songs were played with the mighty oomph they deserved, with sections like the giddying middle eight of ‘Mod Diff’ just exquisite. The anger and power really came across on songs like ‘Bell’ and ‘Colombia’, with the audience clearly delighting in chanting the chorus of the former. Of the new songs, maybe only ‘Umberstone’ was slightly on the jangly side and could have been delivered in the meatier style that Karl now affords to most songs. What a performance by Karl on ‘1966’, where the extra confidence that Karl’s virtuosity gives to Mr. B was so evident. In turn this seemed to mean that even Nigel’s guitar on a ‘quieter’ song like ‘Lark’ could be properly cranked in a way it too rarely is, making the ‘Ken Barlow’ chorus sound almost as pissed off as it is resigned.
It was indeed “like any other gig” to them (that’s a direct quote from Mr. B, as is “if it was Birkenhead, that would be different”), but certainly didn’t fail to live up to the occasion as it was quite simply the best ever performance of the songs (that I have witnessed). Clearly there was a bit less banter than usual, with hardly ever in the second half, but as various audience memory snippets above have already shown us, no lack of improv.
Can someone explain what two reporters have meant by the ‘word association game’? To me it was just the old quiz question about WBA being the highest ground, with wrong answer (Oldham) prompting musings about cold grounds – you want to try Forres Mechanics and (inevitably) Fort William’s recent defensive record. Ah -Ok, I see, I think I might have answered my own question there. I can perhaps now see why the non-football-obsessed might not think of that as a normal, logical thread of everyday conversation.
Nigel does not seem to have read the programme for ‘The Giants’ in New Brighton, which details their movements so precisely (don’t the kids call that “Spoilers” these days?) that I’m fucked if I know why anyone would go. And the big dozy bastards do seem to require an inordinate amount of kip (I fuckin hate any lucky bastard endowed with the gift of napping during the afternoon).
One final curmudge is that I wish I’d seen where the ‘lively’ audience were, ‘cos they certainly weren’t at the front, though briefly some of the action during the second half of the final encore was up to muster.
@Eric – I fail to see why anybody in reasonable health doesn’t bounce through the whole gig, but have finally started to accept that I’m in a small minority on this one. @Phyllis – was wondering where you’d got to lately, well played. @Mr. Tubbs – do tell us where you got to – any quicksand?? – and what the Higsons was like. It was from you last week that I learned the marvellous news of this brewery’s revival, but I didn’t find a pint on this trip and must try harder next time. @Thorsten – enjoy the Smods tonite – I’m wearing your prezzie right now for the big derby match on TV, Forza Braunweiss (though I’m far from optimistic).
30 September 2018
Transit full of keith
Cheers all for satisfying my curiosity, and exacerbating my envy. Sounds like a top gig. But what of the Half Man Half Busticket tour?
30 September 2018
dr Desperate
Well heard, @ Carrie. I thought Lol Coxhill was a bit off piste.
30 September 2018
Phyllis Triggs
‘Half Man Half Busticket’ – fabulous! Come on you lucky ticket holders, let’s hear all about it the tour.
Hi Exxo, until that final encore I think you were the lively audience! Although 3 or 4 guys either side of me were jumping up and down too. Had intended to come over and say hello after the gig but then – no-doubt a bit befuddled due to dehydration and heat exhaustion – I lost you as the crowd shifted so just exited to Ma Egerton’s for some much needed and most welcome fluid replacement.
@ Chris – I’m with you on a couple of the new ones – Terminus and Umberstone seemed a bit lacking, and while I was overjoyed to hear my fave Mod Dif V Dif it kind of passed me by at the same time if that makes sense. I don’t have the technical insight to attempt an explanation as to why some songs seemed to work better than others but given that the benchmark is so high and that nothing played on Friday night fell short of it I won’t be losing any sleep over the issue!
@Exxo – I thought I found Friday night’s Ken Barlow chorus to be particularly affecting but had no idea why so am happy to see you have offered up a plausible explanation.
30 September 2018
Cream cheese and chives
Top show! I think the new material is still bedding in; finding its live feet as it were. The lp is wonderful but live renditions are never exactly as the recorded versions.I think they sounded great-especially Terminus, Umberstone and Colombia-but they sound slightly different to those versions we have got used to on cd. I have probably heard them all hundreds of times but live only twice. I can understand why people may not be as happy as they are with the older stuff but I thought they were highlights.
I stayed about ten rows back out of respect for an arthritic hip and was a bit surprised at how unlively the crowd was. It didn’t detract from how good a show it was but I thought there may have been more moshing/jogging.
Particularly pleased to hear Jimmy Jimmy.I gave my green vinyl version to my similarly named godson for his christening twenty one years ago. The Undertones and Liverpool are inextricably linked for me. I went with my (now) wife to see them on the Sin of Pride tour. She was coming straight from a school hockey tournament and had to hand her stick in at the Royal Court cloakroom.
Booked Edinburgh tickets this morning to go with those for Manchester and York . Giddy times.
30 September 2018
WARDEN HODGES
I was a good 7/8 back from the mosphit and agreed nowhere near as busy as 2005, perhaps it’s an age thing but we did get a surfer during AOR.
Maybe just as well as the floor was very slippy.
30 September 2018
Jitsu_g
Great gig. As much as I liked Ken I do think Karl has turned them up to 11. First time hearing the new songs live. Thought they all came across really well. Top day out in Liverpool too with most of the usual crowd with the bonus of seeing Terry Cotter and his travelling army of pottery supporters
30 September 2018
dr Desperate
@Exxo My going with “word association football” was a shameless Monty Python reference.
30 September 2018
kittymc
I’m still giddy. Lived up to the occasion for me, with knobs on. Joyful, from beginning to end (the communal welling up during ‘Terminus’ all part of the ceremony now, I reckon).
30 September 2018
mister tubbs
@Exxo – I just about managed to do the West Kirby to Rock Ferry walk, via Hilbre. I’d certainly recommend the trip to Hilbre – it was a bit unsettling at first with no marked path across the sand, but once you got to the first island, it was alright, and by the time I headed back to the mainland, you could follow the tyre tracks of a vehicle which had just left the island. When I carried along the coast to Hoylake and the bit near the Red Rocks, I had a brief Father Dougal moment where I thought it would be a great laugh to see how far you can get across to Hilbre, before regretting it, but not with an HMHB gig only a few hours away. I don’t know what they dump in the River Dee, but it was a good thing that I had time to change shoes before the gig, otherwise the O2 would probably have been evacuated on suspicion of someone setting off a dirty bomb! You were pretty much spot on with the distance from there to Rock Ferry, my watch measured it as just over 21 miles – the Refreshment Rooms was quite hard to find, but was well worth finding, sadly no Higsons, but the Big Bog beer was very enjoyable. I didn’t come across any Higsons on the Wirral, but in Liverpool there is a Higsons Tap not far from the Baltic Fleet, and both pubs had Higsons Amber, there was even a Hub Alehouse, which despite its’ name sold some decent beer, Big Bog again. There were so many other good pubs and HMHB placenames that I didn’t get time to see, I think you’d need at least a week to visit them all. I did also pass the Mermaid statue near New Brighton, but don’t know how it compares with the one in Copenhagen? Oh, and the gig in the evening wasn’t half bad, even if I was a bit knackered by then – when they started up Chatteris, I thought I might have to ask the bloke next door to wake me up when they’d finished! Great experience, and the first time I’d heard the new songs live, Terminus left a lump in the throat, which I’ve never experienced before at a gig. Hope we don’t have to wait so long for the next Liverpool gig
30 September 2018
Phyllis Triggs
Lime Street, Liver Birds, Lambananas, Liverpool!
A stroll through town the morning after the gig showed that this place takes its musical heritage seriously – officially sanctioned buskers every few yards, the music museum, the Cavern – I suppose the rationale is to keep the tourists marching to the echo of the Merseybeat and the cash tills will keep on ringing. But what’s this? I walk slowly around the lambanana decorated with the names of Liverpool bands looking in vain for mention of Half Man Half Biscuit. Surely in a city as musically aware as this seems to be they should be here? Echo & the Bunnymen, Flock of Seagulls, The Mighty Wah, Lightning Seeds – but no HMHB.
This is a glaring omission which someone really needs to address with a paintbrush and a pot of Humbrol. I suppose a permanent marker pen could have been sourced with relative ease but what with being knackered from jumping up and down at the gig the night before combined with a growing need for breakfast I really couldn’t be arsed.
Swerving the eateries on Albert Dock (the Boutique Bakery sounded worryingly like the sort of place where Creative Hub types might meet friends and leaf through high-end coffee bean catalogues) we decided to head back up towards the station and look for a caff on the way. ‘Smashed Avocados’ on breakfast menus told us wools that we had strayed into the wrong part of town. Circumstance was indeed looking thin until, on the brink of Wetherspoons and a.m. drinkers, we were rescued by scrambled eggs in Marks & Spencer’s.
Stomachs satisfied, the train journey home gave plenty of time for reflection on the gig. The audience was less lively than I’d expected and certainly less lively than such a terrific performance deserved. Why this should be is anyone’s guess. With tickets sold out the venue was full to moshing-capacity but none broke out till the final encore. Some might say it was almost as if people were over-awed by the sense of occasion… However, it was good to see someone hoisted aloft for a bit of crowd surfing towards the end.
Despite the lack of dancing, the mass singing, shouting and applause showed the audience was clearly appreciative. The performance was punctuated throughout by shouts about cutting hedges; seemingly this particular instruction has already joined the likes of Fred Titmus and Midge Ure in the fans’ Collective – Tourettes phrasebook. Among the new songs and the old favourites it was great to hear a couple of oddball tracks thrown into the mix – Lark Descending and 1966. Alongside the paintball couple recognising the England team and being super-happy and super-proud driving their lemon coloured Fiat, I think I heard that James Dean was something like a fairly crap actor and that Marilyn Monroe was on the skag. Chat with the crowd was locally based – stuff about Crosby, Giants and Walrus cards passed me by.
Highlights – What Made Columbia Famous is a proper singalong song which really came into its own in the live environment: I think it sounded even better than it does on the recording. Both Renfield and Everytime A Bell Rings are terrific live too with both the band and the audience giving it everything they’ve got. Nigel even managed to spit out the word ‘Keswick’ with the same vitriol he employs for the phrase ‘full Sky replica kit’ – a joy to hear in a twisted/off kilter kind of way.
Would’ve liked to hear Knobheads On Quiz Shows if only to have more practice at getting the words right. I spent so long under the impression that the lyric was “Dog Tooth” rather than “Duck Soup” that the former is still lodged in my brain and I invariably begin to sing “Dog…” then correct myself “…Soup”, result=”Dog Soup!” So so wrong…
Would also liked to have heard Alehouse Futsal – it makes a great opener for the new album – the artist setting out his stall, this is what I have for you, this is what I do. Strikes me it would also be a great opener for a gig as it applies equally well to the older material. But you can’t have everything and both Futsal and Knobheads were played at the London gig. Fingers crossed Bladderwrack Allowance makes its debut at Manchester.
So, new stuff, old stuff, shouts from the crowd, a bit of chat and a joke with the audience, no acknowledgement that this was any different from any other gig – but we all knew it was. Liverpool, home turf, the first time in 14 years, tickets sold out in under a week, this was different alright. The number of DPAKs in the audience was testament to that! Not that any of them would have expected a big “Hello Liverpool” from the man on stage; that’s not his style. After successfully swerving music biz cliche and razzmatazz for the past 30 odd years how could he treat this gig as anything other than business as usual? And TFFT! Cos business as usual from HMHB, as usual, is bloody fantastic!
30 September 2018
hendrix-tattoo
I stand corrected Marilyn was a Scag and not a hag as sung at the Kentish Town Gig.
Apologies to Exxo for not making it earlier for the Biscuit Mystery Tour.
Friday was an emotional day for me I had to attend a funeral for a schoolfriend and me being a Postie I’m up at five in the morning (No I don’t want a medal)Friday was a very long day, Got into Liverpool about 5 -ish
a couple of pints of Guinness in Ma Egertons and then to the Spoons where I met Elizabeth, Andy Blue Fox,Andy and Celia,Sarah and Graham.John had took Mick’s Bilston model back to the hotel, So I never got to see it as did CtsO who as now joined us, Later joined by his friend John and also Eric and the lovely Phyllis Triggs.
After a couple pints of more Guinness in the Spoons it was off to Ma Egertons where some kind fella gave us a “I Left My Heart In Papworth General” T- Shirt and a hello to Exxo and Thorsten.
Inside the venue a quick Hello to Geoff and me buying a “Godcore” T- Shirt. A big Hello to Roger and Karen,Tony,Jay and Sally.
Got to agree with Graham, Karl the new guitarist is a breath of fresh air with how now the boys sound live.Let’s hope the mosh are up for it in Manchester.
Good night and God Bless fellow Biscuiteers as I raise another glass of Guinness to you all..
.
30 September 2018
Twistedkitemike
I can only apologize for the poor customer experience and can assure you that it was a one-off delay due to commitments taking me away from the important things in life.
The entry-music was indeed the theme tune to “Zulu” and a packed 02 Liverpool enjoyed the following tunes: –
Light Tunnel
Fred T
Leeuwarden
Umderstone
Lark
Bob W
Look Dad
Checkatrade
Squabblefest
Renfield’s
Bad Wools
Colombia
Vatican
Mod. Diff. Vdiff.
DPAK
NSD
Chatteris
1966
Restless Legs
Terminus
Bob Todd
Every Time a Bell Rings
Paintball
Trad Arr Tune
Trumpton
………………..
JDOG
Jimmy Jimmy
AOR
As ever, a fine evening’s entertainment.
Mike…………..
30 September 2018
WARDEN HODGES
As a proud Crosby-ite (no medal pun here), I do hope the 4 lads play Liverpool again but not at once every 13 years! I’d be 61 at this current rate. Goodnight Irene.
30 September 2018
Eric t’viking
@Warden Hodges – Q. Goodnight Irene..?
Is that the Country & Western song you’re referring to? You haven’t lived unless you’ve heard it sung by Scotland’s very own Sidney Devine… which I heard rather a lot growing up as I think my Mum was his biggest fan. One of his rhinestone encrusted outfits is on display at the Kelvingrove in Glasgow; t’is truly a thing of awe…
1 October 2018
EXXO
@ Phyllis. If anyone did apply the Humbrol to the purpose you suggest, I’m sure Mr. B would be tempted to apply the tippex thereupon, as well as to Amon Düll (sic) on the Cavern bricks. And one day in the utopian future when we all have video phones, can talk to our speakers, and when nobody has a secure job, we will laugh at the days when anyone thought of HMHB as being from Liverpool. Wirral Council should perhaps instead install a Half Mermaid Half Biscuit, extending the Mermaid trail to the other side of the Four Bridges (for, @Mr. Tubbs there are actually 7 of the blighters, or there were, until one got burned down by the Seacombe Mods a few weeks ago https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/new-brighton-mermaid-destroyed-deliberate-15042289).
The black smelly mud is perfectly natural by the way, @Mr T. – it’s not Blackpool, where half the effluent of Lancashire seems to end up back on the beach. All those sulfites are produced by algae, decaying seaweed, marine life, old salt marshes, ancient forests, etc. You were walking across a vast coal gas fracking permit area (which, of course, is an utter scandal) towards the Point of Ayr coal seams after all… in the cliffs and on the beach at nearby Caldy loads of the sandy clay is jet black for similar reasons. So yes, the Big Bog Brewery with its ‘Mire’, it’s ‘Swampy’ and it’s ‘Quagmire’ does sound very appropriate for your experience. And major respect is due for your Odyssey. “Wake me up after Chatteris” indeed, smiley face. A more common refrain at HMHB gigs than people realise.
1 October 2018
dagenham dave
I’m fairly sure The Fall also used the same intro music.
1 October 2018
DIrk hofman
@Et’V .. c&w? get enough gasheads together and you’ll get a rendition of GI to move you .. no rhinestones needed ..
1 October 2018
Bobby Svarc
Brilliant write up by Roger on Gez’s site, thank you for the kind words my friend.
1 October 2018
phyllis Triggs
@Exxo ok, it looks like I would have benefited from going on your tour…
2 October 2018
CARRIE anne
Roger’s report copied from Gez’s website
O2 Academy, Liverpool Fri 28th September 2018
Roger Green:
A quick seller this one, for some reason. Something or other about the locals being starved of HMHB shows for near enough thirteen years. None of the other of the largest cities on our island have had to go that long without the privilege. The tickets went on sale one Wednesday morning in the previous bleak midwinter, and they had all gone by the weekend. As ever, Karen was quick on the draw, so we were sorted easily enough.
There had been a gap of three months since the top drawer show in London. That had come just after the release of No-One Cares About Your Creative Hub So Get Your Fuckin’ Hedge Cut. Reviews started to come through afterwards. Well, I saw one. The excellent Louder Than War magazine comes out every quarter. They were glowing. “In a well-ordered society, Biscuit front man and lyricist Nigel Blackwell would be poet laureate. This country’s most acute observer of trivia, he continues to skewer modern mores bare with devastating precision. Pertinent as ever, this time round the subjects of his ire include cocaine bores, newfound cycling enthusiasts and of course The Checkatrade Trophy. Musically, they are where they are, and the album boasts the jauntier end of their repertoire, providing the perfect foil to Blackwell’s deadpan delivery. As usual, the song titles are worth the admission fee alone – “Knobheads On Quiz Shows” – but amidst the laugh-out-loud moments there are flashes of genuine pathos. Long since established as national treasures, the very existence of Half Man Half Biscuit in these harsh times is cause for celebration, arguably even more so in this post-Fall era.” They were a bit tight with the score, though. Could have gone higher than 8 out of 10.
During the summer, to coincide with the football World Cup, Steve Lamacq had run a World Cup Of Songs on his programme on 6 Music. Viewers of Chris Rand’s site will have seen a similar operation with the Lux Familiar Cup. Songs are drawn in pairs, similar to a football knock-out competition. The winner of each tie is then decided according to votes received from listeners, and they progress to the next round. That’s all fairly straightforward, although I was unclear about how the final score was decided. For example, why did some ties finish 2-1, 1-0, 2-0 etc? HMHB had an entry, namely All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit. It eased its way through the tournament, defeating entries by Black Grape, Collapsed Lung and Pop Will Eat Itself and made its way to the final where it came up against Sunshine On Leith by The Proclaimers. Two songs in a football-themed feature where you could argue that neither song actually concerns itself with the game. So be it. For the record, Sunshine On Leith won the final 2-0.
The independent watchdog Transport Focus carried out a survey of motorway services. No doubt Nigel would have been in agreement with their findings. Norton Canes, on the M6 toll road, came out at the top of the charts. As far as I can tell, his first mention of Norton Canes was when they called there on their way to the Ilminster gig in January 2014. The band had paid at the toll booth, and Nigel had expected a complimentary coffee. Despite that disappointment, subsequently he spoke highly of these services at Wakefield (June 2015), and went as far as saying “Norton Canes is my favourite” during a bit of chat at the Lincoln show in October 2016. Other locations from the HMHB back catalogue scored heavily. Tebay Northbound and Southbound both reached the top ten, along with Hilton Park Southbound. There is trouble over Bridgwater, however. That one was in the bottom five.
The Non League Paper mentioned a sponsorship deal between The Libertines and Margate Football Club. “The band is hoping to launch a creative hub, featuring a recording studio, bar and hotel rooms.” I just hope they remember to take care of the hedge.
A few weeks before this gig, a copy of Mojo was issued which included a free CD. Track two was HMHB’s Every Time A Bell Rings. I’m sure it’s just me and my small town ways, but I wasn’t totally sure why “Birkenhead’s Half Man Half Biscuit” were appearing on a collection proclaiming “The Fab Sound Of Liverpool”. I’m sure that someone will explain that one to me.
Nigel made an appearance on 6 Music’s Freak Zone, presented by Stuart Maconie. I had hoped that he might be co-presenting or something. Instead it was a studio interview part way through the show. But you make the most of these crumbs. Maconie described Nigel as a “Swiftian moralist”. But which Swift? Frank or Jonathan?
The week before this gig, The Office Of National Statistics released details of the most popular names given to newborns in 2017. Olivia and Oliver topped the charts, which prompted an airing of Soft Verges in my house. Proof that this song is an everyday tale of everyday folk. One other highlight was the news that eleven babies were named Nigel. A comeback as a result of Blackwell’s profile? Or Adderley’s? Or even Monty Don’s dog?
The day of the gig began, as oft before, at Fitzwilliam train station. Or, to be precise, at the nearby Lunch Box. Coffee and custard slice for breakfast. The ideal start to the day. From there to the prompt arrival of the Sheffield train. I met Karen there. More drinks, then we wedged our way onto the Liverpool train. All good fun. We breezed through the crosswords in Metro and “i”, while noticing that both papers were totally silent on the HMHB show.
Upon arrival in Liverpool, we were immediately up against the clock, as we were booked on Charles Exford’s Magical Biscuity Tour. We negotiated our way across town to the departure point, being a bus stop on Victoria Street across from the Shankly Hotel. Nigel/Charles and I just had time for a warm-up in the Doctor Duncan pub, named after an all-round good egg, who was concerned greatly about the health of the populace, and their access to care.
Thorsten was also there for the 471 omnibus to Heswall. Nigel/Charles suggested that our vantage point half-way along the top deck on the driver’s side was not ideal. But seeking to evict folk from their seats would have been needlessly provocative and would most likely have caused a scene. Various elements from the HMHB anthology were pointed out to us. Cammell Laird shipyard. The A552. Boots. Primark. Farm Foods. We even saw someone walking across the forecourt of the fire station. Having said that though, this particular chap had a confident air. No trepidation in evidence. The bus passed a twenty-four hour garage where Nigel used to go for smokes. The best part though, was when we got off the bus at The Swan, yes, THE Swan. We went round the estate and found the house where Neil used to live. The four of us may have looked a little suspicious as we stood outside on the pavement, contemplating the bedroom where the very first rehearsals of an embryonic HMHB took place. After a drink at The Swan, the party split up. I’m afraid we are always early arrivers at the gigs, and sticking with the Tour would have put this in jeopardy. So we put our Arriva Day Savers to use, and returned to Liverpool, while Nigel/Charles and Thorsten continued on their way. Ten out of ten to Nigel/Charles for the organisation. Maybe we’ll get details from him, and do the full thing some other time when we are not keeping an eye on the time.
Back in Liverpool, Jay was the next Biscuiteer that we bumped into. He followed us to the Wetherspoons , where John was displaying the model of Bilston’s Robin 2. Pictures are available elsewhere. HMHB are on stage. Karen and I spotted ourselves, even recognising the green anorak that I wear for the winter outings.. Mickey Bates is accorded genius status for the building of this remarkable miniature replica.
Are the years creeping up on me? It would have been difficult to go straight to the gig from there, after all that excitement, without a half-hour resting back at the excellent Premier Inn on Hanover Street. There was just time to review the papers. No mention of the gig in the Wirral Globe, who instead went big on the revamping of the Orchestral Manoeuvres’ phone box as featured in their single Red Frame White Light. The phone box disappeared as part of the BT Payphone Removal programme, but a campaign has now had it re-instated and tarted up as a tourist attraction. I don’t know the locality but perhaps Greenwood Road, Meols, could become a fringe venue on that HMHB Tour?
HMHB got a mention in the Liverpool Echo. “Having released a whopping fourteen albums across their career, Half Man Half Biscuit are still on top of their game, proving that good songwriting never ages. Returning to Liverpool for a headline show tonight, this is your chance to experience Nigel Blackwell and co in their element.”
Suitably back awake again, we were on our way to the venue. There was a little confusion over where to queue, as we were the first there. It transpired that the HMHB queue was going down the street, while the SPINN queue was going up the street. That’s not a band that I am familiar with, but I’m glad we were queuing on the correct side.
Tony joined us in the queue, along with Matt, Andrew, Jordan and Emily. When we were inside the venue, I had a chat with Geoff and exchanged brief Hellos with Miles who was doing a grand job at the shop. There had obviously been a lot of work involved with putting the evening together. “I’ll be glad when it’s over… Life, I mean.” said Geoff, ever the motivational speaker.
Tonight was a bit of a Probe Plus Fest. First on were JD Meatyard, in the persons of John, Tamsin and Gary. They played a few songs from their upcoming CD – “Probe Plus’s next release” according to John. We bumped into John and Tamsin at Lime Street station on the Saturday morning. John told us that he is hoping that the CD will be “in the boxes” when the band supports HMHB at the gig in Manchester in November. The set included old favourites St Peter Won’t Let Me In, Casper’s Ballroom and Ubu At Eric’s, but their new songs are going to stand firmly alongside them on this form. All is well with this band, despite a few amp/wire problems tonight. “Liverpool is the example that other cities should follow,” announced John. I don’t know the place well enough to comment, but I leave that quote open for discussion.
Sonnenberg were next. They were also performing as a trio – Zinney as usual, playing guitar and singing, Saul was on the tabla, but they also had Dave on guitar, and as Tony explained to me, the e-bow. They also played a few songs from their next album “which has not been recorded yet” according to Zinney. These included the excellent Mother Ship. They also played Better Together and Into The Light from previous works. Zinney took the time to open up his jacket, and point to a badge he was wearing. “Bollocks To Brexit,” he said.
A fair number of people had turned up by now. Liverpool Graham had promised to take us round the Magical Biscuity Tour by taxi. We’ll see about that. It was also good to see that Thorsten had survived the Tour. Karen said hello to Sally. John had some good news, impending grandfatherhood. Howie, Alan, Postman Tony and Daz were also in place ahead of the arrival of HMHB.
As a rule, the latest you ever see HMHB take to the stage is 9 o’clock. I can’t remember them ever starting later than that time. That was until tonight. It had gone ten past when the theme from Zulu struck up, and the band appeared. Three of them were visible throughout. Carl was not only hidden away behind the drums, but it was difficult to make him out through the dry ice. The first song was The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, preceded by some interesting guitar work. Nigel asked if anyone was there from Crosby. “You want a fucking medal?”
Nigel announced “This one was originally written by The Detroit Idiots” ahead of Joy In Leeuwarden. There was a shout of “Up The Jalapenos” from the crowd just after that song. Someone also shouted “Get your fucking hedge cut!”. Nigel’s reply was “I remember you from ten years ago. Not your face. It’s your shirt.” Nigel was also asked “How did you get here?” He replied that it was only fifteen minutes. “Piece of piss,” he added. “You’re probably from Dovecot, and you think I’m a wool.” There didn’t seem much point asking which services they had called at.
During Lark Descending, as on many previous occasions, Nigel stuck his plectrum to his forehead for the “job on the bins” bit. He asked if our Tour had gone down Mathew Street past The Cavern. As well as pondering over the pronunciation of “Mathew”, he mentioned a wall there where all the bricks contain the names of bands who had played at The Cavern. The name of Amon Duul had been changed to Amon Dull prompting Nigel to drop a line to the press.
Erstwhile footballer Lol Cottrell was the celebrity spotted in the crowd. Or “Laugh Out Loud Cottrell” as he called him. “Did you get your yard decked?” asked Nigel. Nigel talked about BBC Music Day, where various celebrities had got involved in public service announcements and the like. Nigel was doing his bit at Birkenhead Central. “I was having an argument about my Walrus Card, and it went out over the tannoy. Sorry, PA”
There was a heckle from someone about having a dodgy transformer. “You shouldn’t be standing like that if you’ve got a dodgy transformer,” replied Nigel. In Rock ‘n’ Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools, I picked up the line “The car park is patrolled, and then sold.” Nigel talked about an Indonesian restaurant at the back of Duke Street. He had pelican curry there. “It was tasty, but the bill was massive.”
Ahead of Vatican Broadside, there was a brief section of There Stands The Glass. Nigel pointed out that every week in the Free Press there is an advert for West Kirby badminton club, who are constantly on the look-out for new members who are over fifty.
Nigel played a bit of word association. Caroll Baker? “Tapestry” was the reply from the floor. And the highest football ground in England? “Oldham Athletic”. Nigel won on both counts. Tony suggested that Oldham was the coldest. Nigel said he usually wore an extra layer when going there, but implied that it might be even worse at Forres Mechanics. That in turn got him talking about Fort William, who are, it would seem, “even worse than Barnstoneworth”.
I think it may have been Postman Tony shouting “Stanley Mortensen” at the end of 1966 And All That. “True story” said Nigel ahead of Terminus. In 99 Per Cent Of Gargoyles, the line was “Marilyn Monroe was on the scag.” Legal advice required on that one? Perhaps one day we’ll be treated to a full version of the cover of Mandy, as recorded for Radio Merseyside. Tonight we had to settle for the bit at the end of the song, in praise of Maincrest Car And Van Hire, as advertised on the radio way back when.
In Paintball’s Coming Home, there were a couple of lines not from the original. “They recognise all the players in the England team / And they really like the trumpets and drums.” And “They’re super happy and super proud / To be driving lemon coloured Fiats.”
When the band returned for the encore, Karl had changed into a Sam Spoons / Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band t-shirt in recognition of a recent passing. Nigel was playing his caravan guitar. We were invited to “join in if you can” for the cover version. Crowd surfing is not a common sight at these shows, but there was a gentle attempt tonight. Unfortunately this led to an incident at the very end of the gig. Glasses are invariably knocked off, and there was a slight tussle with security over their recovery.
Nice touch with the music from The Wicker Man being played at the end of the show. There was much discussion in the Gents about the ongoing merits of the band, with one bloke claiming that Numanoid Hang-Glide was written about him. That is some claim.
Here is the set from the evening. Karl was good enough to hand me his list. Paintball’s coming home was missing from that. But otherwise this is a true and fair view.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
Joy In Leeuwarden
Harsh Times In Umberstone Covert
Lark Descending
Bob Wilson Anchorman
Look Dad No Tunes
Swerving The Checkatrade
Running Order Squabble Fest
Renfield’s Afoot
Rock ‘N’ Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools
What Made Colombia Famous
Vatican Broadside
Mod Diff V Diff Hard Severe
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
National Shite Day
For What Is Chatteris?
1966 And All That
Restless Legs
Terminus
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
Maincrest Car And Van Hire
Every Time A Bell Rings
Paintball’s Coming Home
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
Trumpton Riots
And in the encore…
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Jimmy Jimmy
Everything’s AOR
I must say that I was ready for my bed, so there was no beer to be taken after the show. On the Saturday morning we saw Huddersfield Graham and Sarah. All agreed that this remains a not bad band. We agreed to meet in Manchester in a couple of months, for further consideration. The weekend continued for me and Karen. We were heading to Halifax to see a band that has been going for a number of decades and who are now in their best form ever. The Nightingales, of course.
2 October 2018
dr Desperate
Excellent stuff, Roger. Confirmation of genius status for Micky Bates from his Biccie mates.
2 October 2018
Bobby Svarc
As I’ve mentioned before, in a decently ordered society I would be routinely pushed at break neck pace by his Biccie mates through the streets of every city they visited apart from Coventry.
2 October 2018
EXXO
Whilst we may see little prospect of a decently-ordered society, at least the eastern areas of this troubling realm are fairly flat and crowd-funding is always a possibility. Surely we must enact Bobby Svarc’s vision, starting with a busy little Fenland market town next April, given the proximity of The Cambridge junction to suitably accessible accommodation, transport and refreshment facilities.
2 October 2018