Manchester, so much to answer for …although very few HMHB references, surprisingly. There’s Harpurhey, of course, and the Lesser Free Trade Hall. Gerry Gow played for City for a bit. Manchester gigs used to be quite frequent events, but of late they’ve only come around about as often as Lux Familiar Cups. So was this one worth the wait? Over to you.
Photo: @bringitonskippy
EXXO
Utterly triumphant performance by the lads tonight. Plenty of rarities, though I think I’m right that Bladderwrack was the only debutant, and don’t know if they’ve done the Velvets cover White Light/White Heat before? Only the 3rd ever outing for DBT (first ever HMHB gig to feature the word ‘Clwydian’ and not the word ‘Chatteris’), only the 4th ever appearance for Westward Ho!(and what a storming set opener it was). Only the second airing for Our Tune in the last 130 gigs, and only the 6th This Leaden Pall in all that time too. This was also only the 4th Wrong Grave in 4 years which doesn’t sound that unusual, but before that it used to be such a staple of most sets. Umberstone got its 2nd ever (and so 2nd consecutive) run-out, with Mr. B. at pains to point out that “there’s only one human in that song” (which come to think of it he mentioned at the match recently too).
As a spin-off of much infectious Zuiderzee-related heckling from all parts of the auditorium, Mr. B. accused me of looking like a penguin from Dynasties, which I’m taking as quite a compliment (not having seen that episode yet).
But most importantly one of the most enjoyable crowds in years. Splendid.
1 December 2018
Ben W
That’s as good as I’ve seen them I think. So much energy and a great setlist. Brilliant to have Westward Ho! back and it’s such a good opener.
I stayed on the margins of the ever-increasing moshpit but it seemed even more raucous than the last Manchester gig four years ago. Good fun had by all.
1 December 2018
TC
Some top between-songs banter. Whilst chewing on his Biltong strip at Boggart Hole Clough NB57 was musing on Glyn Pardoe and his bag of shuttlecocks – WTF
He also spotted in the crowd Annabel Tiffin and Dianne Oxberry (BBC North West Tonight presenters)
1 December 2018
EXXO
Particular reverence and respect will be reserved for anyone who heard and can recall the two jokes (told by the father I think?) in the Endy bit at the end of Footprints.
1 December 2018
dic aberdaron
best gig ever.. and i’ve seen a few 🙂
WHITE LIGHT!!!!!!!!
1 December 2018
Idiots and pigeons
I can’t believe this happened: https://youtu.be/8nnhDl5d81k
@Exxo it was the neighbour (Mr Galbraith) who told the jokes and was, unfortunately, on the receiving end of a punch after both jokes.
“What’s black and white and can’t turn around in corridors?”
“What’s got three legs and eats fish and chips?”
1 December 2018
EXXO
Thanks J.
1 December 2018
WARDEN HODGES
Was Annabel spotted at Ritz 2014 ? think she was.
Enjoying the reviews, cheers.
1 December 2018
Alan
Warden: she was
1 December 2018
WARDEN HODGES
Thanks Alan, maybe Roger Johnson next time?
1 December 2018
Cream cheese and chives
I think Roger Johnson was name checked last night.
Agree wholeheartedly with the general consensus of what a top show it was. Great setlist, great performance , good inter song chat and really good sound. Atmosphere was really good too. I think it was my seventh viewing and the best for sure.
I heard the jokes but not the punchline ,though think Don and Ivy Brennan may have figured in the second.
A great start to the weekend.
1 December 2018
Michael Avery
I was so happy to get Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off. After we got This Leaden Pall I assumed that was the album do with.
1 December 2018
Pam ferris
It was actually me who NB57 spotted in the audience last night. Great gig, shame the draught beer ran out.
1 December 2018
hendrix-tattoo
“Do that one about the Zuiderzee!”
1 December 2018
Neville Bourke
Brilliant gig. Three of us travelled from the West of Ireland – a HMHB pilgrimage. Thanks to all the HMHB fellow-travelers who we bumped into in the pubs around the city center afterwards and who kept the buzz going. A dissentient cultural experience.
1 December 2018
Alan
So was there a penguin on dynasties wearing a hafnia era Everton kit?
1 December 2018
Gipton Teenager
Great gig apart from Captain Mainwa ring. Thanks for sorting my train out Tone.
2 December 2018
SWA
Great gig great banter from NB , didn’t do bad wools but lots of great classics. Doesn’t get any better than this thanks lads.
2 December 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Great Guinness.
Great People I was drinking Guinness with.
Great advice from Sainsbury security.
Great Coffee.
Great people Inside the venue.
Great setlist.
Great atmosphere.
Great Moshing.
Great Gig.
Great Gipton Teenager.
Great Roger and Karen.
Great Phyllis Triggs.
Great night.
Great just bloody GREAT….
2 December 2018
carrie anne
Yes, agreed. Great, just great.
Roger Green’s report of the proceedings, taken from Gez’s site
HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT
AT THE RITZ, MANCHESTER – 30 NOVEMBER 2018
Insomniacs among the HMHB fan base may be familiar with Dotten Adebayo and his presentation of Up All Night in the wee small hours on Five Live. I’m a regular. One night, not long after the Liverpool gig, I was listening. One of the features on the show is Record Club, where he discusses albums with a variety of guests. Dotten announced that they would be considering albums by The Eurythmics and Sting. Good news for those with a mutual and lasting respect and/or those who like the Barbican rooftop gig concept. I just turned over, and tried to get some more kip.
Thanks to Andrew for the note about the Stacey West podcast, which discusses various matters connected with Lincoln City. He gave me a quote from Episode 7. “John Akinde is like the band Half Man Half Biscuit. He’s half Matt Rhead and half Matt Green.” I’m not quite sure how that works, but any publicity is good publicity. Look out for a good turnout the next time the band plays that part of the country. It’s a shame Andrew couldn’t make this show. Hope to see him back at York.
On the subject of Lincoln, Karen and I visited that city. We were at The Engine Shed to see a 40th anniversary show by Jilted John, supported by the ever excellent John Otway. A couple of years ago, HMHB played in the large hall at this venue. Clearly the two Johns do not have the same pull, and they were in the smaller hall. But there was a fair few there, and there wasn’t much space. Most of the between-bands music was from the late seventies / early eighties period. However our ears pricked up when we heard Every Time A Bell Rings and Knobheads On Quiz Shows. I congratulated the sound engineer and asked if he might consider playing Swerving The Checkatrade. He was apologetic, explaining that the tunes are pre-set. All very polite. “I’m not a DJ,” he added.
I think we are all familiar with the line in Keeping Two Chevrons apart where Nigel muses over how you only ever hear the word “aplomb” in football commentaries. I beg to differ, having read a feature on American band Windhand in Issue 18 of the fine Louder Than War. I was led to believe that the band does Psychedelic Doom with creativity, emotion “and aplomb”. So there.
With reference to the lyric from Dickie Davies Eyes, Karen told me about a feature on BBC1’s Sunday morning breakfast programme. Roger Dean has an exhibition of his work, celebrating all those years “in the business”. Posters on display, no doubt. This news prompted us to re-visit the old Flake adverts. There is one with a “Romany bint” riding on a caravan, and there is another with a girl in a poppy field, painting. The lyric seems to combine the two. After more than three decades, I don’t suppose it matters that much.
Another reference came courtesy of Simon Calder, who is the travel correspondent for The Independent, and also covers a lot of issues for the BBC. There was a story in the news about a guy who was suing British Airways for injuries suffered after he had to sit next to a fellow passenger described as “the size of Jonah Lomu”. When talking about this on Five Live, Simon signed off by saying, “As Jean-Paul Sartre wrote ‘Hell is other people’”. Not quite a direct HMHB reference. He ought to have said it in French instead.
Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes came to mind when reading the section on Mute Swans in Tweet Of The Day, an excellent book by Brett Westwood and Stephen Moss, based on the Radio Four series of the same name. “The mistaken assertion that ‘a swan can break a man’s arm’ is a favourite among pub bores… In fact a swan is more likely to break its own wing than your arm even if they can be quite aggressive if you approach them too closely.” I’ve no doubt that the band like to get their facts right, but all of that just isn’t going to fit into the rhythm of the song.
Because we are all avid followers of the programme, HMHB fans will have spotted that two of the contestants on the latest series of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here are referenced in songs, being Mr Edmunds and Nick Fucking Knowles.
Proof of the band’s mystical powers came one morning when I was driving to work. Lark Descending was playing on the CD. When it got to the line about getting a job on the bins, at that very second I passed a council bin wagon. Rhetorical or what?
As always I am late to pick up on these things. In this case, I am more than three decades late. On Danny Baker’s Saturday morning programme on Five Live, a listener rang in to discuss Stanley Holloway’s recording of the song Let’s Go Down The Strand. Danny and the listener did an impromptu duet featuring the chorus “Have a banana”. Could that have been lifted, when God Gave Us Life was produced?
Karen’s sister got us free tickets for a show featuring comedian Rob Deering. During a musical interlude, we were pleased to hear him sing the opening lines of All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit. He proclaimed it to be the best Christmas song ever written. We were minded to point out that it isn’t really a Christmas song at all, but that was neither time nor place for a debate. Maybe do the whole song next time, Rob? We look forward to it.
Karen reckoned there was a new record to report. She ordered our gig tickets on 23 February and they arrived on 16 November. Brinksmanship par excellence.
The papers review, as usual, didn’t turn up any mention of the HMHB show. Metro were keen to plug gigs by Def Leppard, Cypress Hill and The Cardigans. We also noted the full page ad for a stage version of The Rocky Horror Show. Meanwhile, the Manchester Evening News mentioned Ross Noble’s show tonight at The Apollo. Isn’t he supposed to be a HMHB fan? If so, that’s bad planning, Ross. We also learned that Tears For Fears are scheduled to appear at Delamere. It didn’t say anything about Elbow playing there, but there was the consolation of a photo of Guy Garvey along with some blurb about their appearance at the Sounds Of The City Festival next summer.
Our pre-gig preparation involved an episode of Countdown featuring Jenny Éclair living up to her characterisation in You’re Hard. We were stopping at the same place as Tony, so it was easy enough for us to meet and make our way to The Ritz, pausing only to say Hello to Mike who was mid-conversation on his mobile as we saw him in the street. As usual, we were there well ahead of opening time. Nevertheless we were beaten to the punch, and were numbers four, five and six in the queue.
Early on, there was confusion over what time the band was going to be on stage. Fake news, as some might call it. Perceived wisdom was that HMHB were due on at 8.00. But while we were queueing, one of the Showsec personnel showed me a sheet saying it would be 8.30. As it turned out, they appeared at 8.10. Later on, Nigel was asked about this. “Nothing to do with us,” he explained. “It was because of the crowd-funneling outside.”
While outside, we saw Graham who was trying to get rid of a surplus ticket. It’s a sign of the times. These days you can’t afford to just rock up on the day. The last three shows have been sell outs (there or thereabouts) in three of the biggest cities in the land. Cash on the door is not always an option. There’s a reason…
Once inside, we exchanged Hellos with Biscuiteers from far and wide. Graham had been successful in offloading his ticket. Matt had again travelled further than most, from Lancing. Jordan (usually at the front of the queue outside) was later extremely animated when his repeated requests for Our Tune finally bore fruit. We said Hello to Joel and Mel, and Nigel and Jo, who had missed out on the Liverpool show. Huddersfield Graham chatted for a bit, before returning to his vantage point on the balcony. Howie and Daz arrived, as usual, just in time for HMHB’s arrival. And Ian and Mariana were also there. Later on, I caught a glimpse of Nigel/Exford in the midst of a lively, but friendly mosh pit. Ian and Cathy were standing next to me during the evening, Cathy being the first Australian that I have spoken to at one of these shows. Thanks to Ian for letting me have the title of the Tom Waits song (“Martha”) which Nigel sampled during the HMHB set. And it is always good to have a natter with Peter from Bradford. John was wearing a “Garage In Constant Use” hi vis jacket, a gift from his recently departed brother, Chris. Nigel dedicated Everything’s AOR to Chris. Ever the rebel, John had actually been told to remove said item by the vigilant security staff. They had also confiscated his Access All Areas pass. So much for self-expression. Postman Tony had a similar tale of officialdom, having had to show a receipt for a cup of coffee, being proof of “sobering up” before he was allowed in to the venue. Karen also noted the poster for “Half Man Half Cocktails” on the wall at the bar. John told me that this place was the only venue in Manchester to still have a spring-based floor. Not great if you’re carrying a quantity of pints. Later on, Nigel said to all and sundry “I bet someone next to you has mentioned the sprung dance floor.” Yes, well maybe.
With military precision, JD Meatyard were on stage at 7 o’clock. It was another variation of their line up. JD as always was doing vocals and guitar. He has a habit of offering to trade a pint of Guinness for a free CD. Jay was obviously alive to this possibility by leaving a pint at the front of the stage near where John stands. Tamsin was playing guitar. But it was “same mallet, different drummer”, as Tony put it. I’m sure this guy has played with them previously, and I’m sorry I can’t remember his name. Should have asked Tamsin when I spoke briefly with her outside the venue at the end of the evening. Their set concentrated on their new album The Batchain Pullers (available at all the best places including the Probe Plus desk – good to catch up with Geoff there, by the way). However, they were still able to throw in a couple of favourites. It will be a while before I tire of hearing Ubu At Erics. No doubt they’ll be back supporting at any number of the gigs in 2019. And good luck to Tamsin, whose other band, LIINES, are on tour with Sleaford Mods in the new year.
HMHB’s walk-on music was Magic Trumpet by Herb Alpert and Tijuana Brass. Before they started up with Westward Ho!, Nigel pointed out a mate at the back of the hall and said “I’ve got those rawl plugs for you”. He also spotted Annabel Tiffin. Later on he spotted Diane Oxberry, and said “Your weather forecasts are better than Sara Blizzard’s.” Pam Ferris was also there (“Did you get the quick lime? He won’t bury himself.”).
Postman Tony led the requests for “The one about the Zuider Zee”, which seems to have replaced the shouts for God Gave Us Life. Nigel asked “Where did you go for your tea? Nandos? When there’s a city full of good restaurants?” He said he sat on a bench at Boggart Hole Clough, and had a strip of biltong. Glyn Pardoe used to hang out at the same place, playing badminton in order to settle his nerves before a match. And then when he went back to collect the shuttlecocks the following day, they had all disappeared. He was puzzled as to why, but Nigel reckoned that squirrels were to blame.
“Maybe even a torch” was added to the requirements in Renfield’s Afoot. Nigel talked at length about Thinsulate. “All you need at Christmas.” He added that it was the time of year when you buy inappropriate gifts for elderly relatives. He bought his Nan a copy of Replicas, which prompted her to write her own obituary, which included the line “Me, I disconnect from you.” And Nigel said he once drew a bad picture for his uncle, of Roy Kinnear and Brian Murphy from George And Mildred. Nigel “signed” them as if from those actors. His uncle was made up about this, thinking they were real signatures.
A couple of times during the evening, I noticed Nigel throw his guitar lead over his shoulder. He also went off to the side of the stage to ask for some smoke to add to the atmosphere.
Nigel turned the subject of conversation to Dynasties, in particular to the penguins on the programme. “The bastards keep giving, don’t they?” He was reminded of the tale of the Antarctic Survey where photos would be taken of penguins wearing football shirts. One of them had disappeared while wearing an Everton shirt. Maybe it had been killed by a walrus? “Notice, I didn’t say Polar Bear.”
At some point I will check my facts, but I can’t remember Joy Division Oven Gloves being played this early in a set. During Evil Gazebo, Nigel explained that “that’s his favourite bit” when Neil played the bass solo just before the pause in the middle of the song. Before Bladderwrack Allowance, Nigel said “This is for anyone who was in the Briton’s Protection earlier, and wishes they were still there.” The transformer in Dukla Prague was £3.10 as usual. “Should have gone to Home Bargains,” Nigel added helpfully.
Nigel was wished a Happy St Andrews Day. He replied that the walk-on music was going to be Flower Of Scotland, but he couldn’t find it on a CD anywhere. He started talking about his mate Duncan Bruce from Stonehaven, who funnily enough used to go out with a girl called Joyce. “But not this one,” he added as the band struck up Ode To Joyce.
One or two notes about tonight’s version of Footprints. The Lord referred to “the trials and suffering and all that crap.” A honky horn was added to the instrumentation during the song. And there were particular additions to the teenager’s actions after he woke up at midday. He was mad about having missed Homes Under The Hammer and The Sheriffs Are Coming. He went outside and saw Mr Galbraith from next door. Mr Galbraith had two jokes for the teenager. “What’s black and white and can’t turn round in a corridor? A nun with a javelin through her head.” The teenager punched Mr Galbraith, who then told him the second joke. “What’s got three legs and eats fish and chips? Don and Ivy Brennan.” The teenager punched Mr Galbraith again. After which he went to see his father about the golf clubs.
Nigel explained a bit about Swerving The Checkatrade. “I wrote it a couple of years ago when Tranmere weren’t in The Checkatrade. It’s about my mate who supports Rochdale.” Umberstone Covert was inspired by a mate who, instead of making sand sculptures, just makes sand castles. There was also a random line… “Matthew Amroliwala, what were you thinking of?” Possibly a germ of an idea of a song for the future.
Nigel asked another mate at the back of the hall “Did you get your wheelie bin jet- washed?” And also he said to anyone where this is appropriate. “Now that your dog’s been found, it would be nice if you took the posters down from the lampposts.” Oh, and the nymph in Tending The Wrong Grave had turned into Tim Buckley. In the same song, Nigel said that he didn’t expect a pod of whales. He hastily corrected himself. “You wouldn’t really, because it’s a school of whales, and a pod of dolphins.” He was dressed like a dandy for the summer eights. He lifted up his leg and said “Had on my Sebagoes.”
A fine collection of tunes as always. Here’s how it went. They even put on some Velvets!
Westward Ho! – Massive Letdown
Our Tune
Depressed Beyond Tablets
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
Terminus
Renfield’s Afoot
This Leaden Pall
What Made Colombia Famous
Totnes Bickering Fair
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Used To Be In Evil Gazebo
Bladderwrack Allowance
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Ode To Joyce
Footprints
Swerving The Checkatrade
Tommy Walsh’s Eco House
National Shite Day
Running Order Squabble Fest
Harsh Times In Umberstone Covert
Everything’s AOR
Tending The Wrong Grave For Twenty-Three Years
Vatican Broadside
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
Every Time A Bell Rings
And there were four songs in the encore
Left Lyrics In The Practice Room
White Light / White Heat
I Hate Nerys Hughes
The Trumpton Riots
Carl overarmed his set list into the crowd. I was fielding too close and it went way over my head. Thanks very much to Karl for handing his over in a far more civilised manner. Graphologists would spot that Nigel wrote out the first couple of songs in lower case, but then reverted to capitals. Analyse that! Regarding the actual content, there were just two omissions (from the written list). Neither Vatican Broadside nor The Trumpton Riots were scheduled to appear. And Nigel always writes a “?” before the songs to be played in the encore. I suppose this is just in case the punters turn round and head home after the band finishes the main set. I’ve not seen that happen yet, but there is a first time for everything.
Karen and I were in Sheffield the day after this gig, scoffing burritos at the excellent Street Kitchen. In the course of this, we debated which was the best HMHB show of 2018. Not much of a debate, really. For us, things always sparkle on these nights. But at London in June, it reached another level all round. In just less than nine weeks we will be back in attendance at the York gig. More of the same, please, in 2019.
2 December 2018
Ianc
Impossible to add much to Rogers fully formed review except to say that whilst for me the gig was a gem sadly for my colleague with curvature of the spine who struggles with walking it was a disaster. Wrongly accused of being drunk, the ever vigilant unswerving door staff refused him entry. Chaos ensued. Shame really. It was birthday too. Roll on Exeter.
2 December 2018
EXXO
Ooh, that’s such a shocking story Ian (and to a lesser extent Tony), but though I’ve never heard anything like it before it seems typical of the fun-spoiling officiousness that often taints the modern corporate gig venues. Really feel for your poor colleague there.
Thanks Karen as ever for Roger’s unsurpassable review, a stunning feat of note-taking, a veritable Christmas tree of sparkling offerings from Mr. B’s stream-of-consciousness, though one man’s recollections can spark off another’s, and maybe there’s still enough space left on his tree for us to pick up a few baubles from corners, and perhaps pedantically re-position the odd piece of tinsel.
Roger has preserved for posterity some of the jolly corridors down which Footprints wandered, with and without a javelin in its head. Likewise the improvisations in Wrong Grave . Such ramblings have been rarer in recent times, with fewer ‘talkie’ numbers at most gigs. But perhaps now that Karl has perfected his repertoire of avio-cetacean guitar noises, Wrong Grave can again resume a more regular place in the set?
I’d been trying to remember what it was Mr. B said about the Briton’s Protection, if I even heard if properly at the time, so thanks for that too. I’m not sure too many people at the gig, even on a bad date, would have wished they were still in the Brit on November pay-day Friday, ‘cos like all Manchester’s best hostelries it was more packed out than the gig itself, and was running out of all the best beers. The beauty of a packed pub in the run-up to Xmas though I suppose is that you do get talking to some lovely people, as we did both before and after the gig. Squashed outside the loos in there before the gig, two separate pairs of strangers either side of us were simultaneously discussing the early stage time for HMHB. It became a lively three-way debate, with one couple on one side insisting it was to be an 8pm KO, and me and my mate Ben supporting them, but the other two strangers insisting they’d been told 8.30 by venue staff. During the discussion I suddenly recognised that one participant was none other than, as I then announced him to the others, “Paddy Shennan of the Liverpool Echo, gentlemen, and he should know what time they’re on, ‘cos [I was quoting the heading at the top of his column) there’s only three things in world he likes: one of them’s the pint in his hand, one of them’s not very good at football, and the other is HMHB.” But it then turned out that one of the other pair of Biscuiteers on the other side was the retired arts and music editor of the Lancashire Evening Post, so the matter was declared a draw. The two intrepid off-duty reporters remembered meeting at a HMHB gig in Preston many years earlier, and they were away down Memory Lane to the gig. Which we all got to in time.
So back to the nit-picking about the position of those anecdotal baubles. Am I wrong then, in thinking that there were two completely separate penguin-related musings, at two different points in the gig? Early on I myself was accused of having looked like a penguin in Dynasties while heckling Zuiderzee-related nonsense. This, if I am not mistaken, had nothing to do with later penguin-in-a-Hafnia-era-Everton shirt, which he then thought could have been a walrus. And that’s why penguins are the gift (to entertainers) that just keeps giving?
Nigel’s been honing that Xmas present routine for over two decades, but this ‘Replicants’ version seems to offer the definitive punch-line. Excellent. It seems important to add that the Thinsulate items that were recommended for all Xmas present requirements these days were to be acquired from Home Bargains (was there a “face of Home Bargains” in the audience? Or a Tranmere shirt with Home Bargains on, as Rovers’ former sponsor?), and there is ambiguity in a statement that was something like “these days it’s all about Thinsulate from Home Bargains, covers all requirements.” Is that Thinsulate for all prezzies, or just Home Bargains?
And did anyone else think that the “bet you went to Nando’s, didn’t you, when there are so many great restaurants in Manchester?” spiel was originally going to lead to the same “pelican” joke we heard in Liverpool (“delicious but the bill was massive”), but then Mr. B thought better of it and took the story off to Boggart Hole Clough instead? And does the surreal Glyn Pardoe shuttlecocks anecdote have any slight roots in a reading of (Boggart Hole local) Fred Eyre’s Pardoe-era footy autobiography? Needs research perhaps.
While I’m here, I’ll have to take Roger up slightly on his reading of the “aplomb” line. Mr. B is merely asking a question, and Roger has provided an answer. But what is particularly egregious is the trend on twitter for people to point out, with the #HMHB hashtag, occasions when “aplomb” is used by football commentators, when surely they should be answering the question by pointing out only any other occasions when they hear it used. Whereas ‘Lacksadaisical’ is always worthy of a straight-up name-and-shame.
Must admit though I’m heartened on Roger’s behalf to hear that the “hell is other people” sentiment is not as ubiquitous in his world as it is in mine.
Finally thanks again Roger, not least for the set-list. 30 songs, wow, count them. That must be a record tally. It was quite an exhausting set physically for me, not too fit at the mo’, and that must be part of why I forgot to say “hi” at the end to you Roger and Karen. And I sincerely hope our Cornish whippet-minding friends didn’t have an unbalanced experience as a result of my advice, based on the usual 27/28 song set-list.
2 December 2018
Gipton Teenager
I was with Postie Tony when he was refused entry (twice ) to the Ritz. Thing is, I had got through “security ” and was about to enter, until Captain Mainwaring said ” If you’re with him” (indicating Tony ) “you’re not coming in either .”
Tony wasn’t drunk, he tripped on the barriers the venue had put there, presumably to control the (at that time non-existent ) queue.
When I returned (third time lucky) most people seemed to be bumping into them at some point.
What a way to earn a living.
2 December 2018
Phyllis Triggs
Manchester: great! Gigs and good times just one easy hour away by train. Cheap city centre accommodation too tho prices shoot up at the weekend. Back in Feb when the gig was announced I was lucky to bag an early deal on a Travelodge ‘Super Room’. Thus I find myself in the relative luxury of the 5th floor pitting my wits against a fiendish coffee machine and trying to decipher the digital hieroglyphs on the electric heater. Best of all, however, is the view over Piccadilly Gardens – all neon signs and dancing floodlit fountains – for a country bumpkin like me this is incredibly exciting, I feel like I’m in Times Square. Wow, let the good times roll!
Friday morning in Manchester is uncharacteristically dry and sunny. I’m funnelled towards the central shopping area where a busker playing electro-acoustic guitar with a violin bow predisposes me to meet the hordes with a smile – this is going to be a good day! I even enjoyed my (first ever) encounter with the Xmas Markets (an institution which, until now, I would have put on a par with encountering Primark FM). Anyway, Friday’s positive experience probably had something to do with the free vodka tastings – a great way to start the day! Chocolate, mango, toffee, and coffee flavours all had their charms – think I liked the mango best – but as the combined effect of all was preferable to that of any one I held onto my cash and went merrily on my way.
The day continued to unfold very pleasantly fuelled by hot cherry wine and salted caramel chocolate brownies – surely the opposite of National Shite Day – till it was time for a hurried burritto then off to the Ritz in time for JD Meatyard. The set consisted largely of songs from the new album ‘The Batchain Pullers’ and really deserved to be heard by a larger audience than was present early doors Friday. I love this man’s rage and intensity; it’s righteous and pure and it shames my easy existence and the half-empty auditorium, we really should all be making more of an effort. But living your life at such a level must surely be self-destructive – thankfully, JD has to take his finger off that button when he picks up his guitar. Far from being doom-laden his songs are catchy and filled with a passion and energy that is uplifting. Well worth getting there early for. (Although rather worryingly I did notice that he had typed out a set list…)
Before HMHB make their entrance I get another beer. Pleasantly surprised to see bottles of Speckled Hen behind the bar. However, once this is poured into a plastic skiff and placed in front of me it is clear that what (at a short distance) looked like a full sized bottle of Speckled Hen is actually a miniaturised 330ml version for which they still had the gall to charge a full-sized £4.65. Talk about bitter at the gall…
Moving swiftly on – there’s obviously a Biscuit fan on the staff at The Ritz – a poster behind the bar is advertising Half Man Half Cocktails. Impressed by this, I take a photo, unfortunately its a shit photo – all blurry so I can’t read the Biscuity names on the menu and I can only remember two of them: Mileage and Cocktails Afoot. I suspect more Biscuit fans made use of the pragmatic two-pint pots than were tempted by the cocktails, but perhaps these brought some solace to any poor unfortunates who would rather have been partying down town with Gail and Sonia. Although given the quality of what followed I would defy anyone not to have had a top night out whatever their musical persuasions!
Reliable as ever, (and in double quick time – wow!) Roger has already supplied us with a superb definitive review so in addition I’ll respond to Exxo’s invite by reaching into the bag, scooping out whatever scrappy bits of tinsel I can find and chucking them onto the tree!
Superb set-list – pure quality: Turned Up Clocked On, one of my favourite songs, not an obvious crowd-pleaser but by God it works live, v. powerful; Totness Bickering – another favourite, one of the songs I discovered on youtube a few years ago that got me hooked on this band, “Gonna feed our children non-organic food and with the money saved take ‘em to the zoo” – had me laughing out loud back then and still does. What a line – speaks volumes about the relationship, the type of people involved and the world they inhabit – brilliant; Nerys Hughes! God, I love Nerys Hughes!! A crazy jerky bone-shaker of a song; Bladderwrack Allowance – its first live outing and what a treat. I thought Nigel varied his vocals to emphasize the different view points in this song – went very quiet and far-away for the daydreamy “Facebook, Gogglebox, wine” section.
In fact, that’s something I’ve noticed over recent gigs and on the new album – more and more Nigel appears to be ‘acting’ – emphasising different voices/really inhabiting the personalities within the songs. Or maybe it just seems that way as I become more familiar with the material. Whatever.
Oven Gloves coming in so early on was a bit of a surprise but it worked brilliantly. People who may otherwise have held back, waiting for their moment, came rushing down to the front, desperate lest they miss out on their 3 minutes of JDOG moshing glory. And there they stayed for the rest of the set making for an exceedingly lively gig. I love that Umberstone Covert, a song inspired by dolls (it would seem), with lyrics of such intricacy and tenderness was accompanied by such vigorous moshing on Friday night!
So, a quality set list, no doubt, but perhaps it is made even more interesting by what was left out – songs that have become staples of previous gigs: Chatteris, Bad Wools, Look Dad No Tunes, for starters. Other regular attendees who were not on Friday’s guest-list included: the Paintball couple, 24 hr Garage People, Bobs Todd and Wilson, Dean Friedmann and Fred Titmuss. Fuckin’ Hell, no Fred Titmuss! But still it was brilliant – none of these classics was missed – that really does say a lot about the quality of their material.
Regarding banter (“bants” as Nigel reminded us), as usual, much of it went over my head – what on Earth was all that about Glyn somebody and a bagful of shuttlecocks?? But I do remember Nigel saying he’d texted “Happy St Andrew’s Day” to his mate in Stonehaven using his flip-up Nokia.
Had to google Matthew Amroliwala when I got home. Thought it was already a song – the type of song which Scouts/Guides might sing round the campfire – but I must have been thinking of something else. Google informs me that he’s a BBC newsreader who, while working on Crimewatch was contacted by a disgruntled window cleaner whom he’d neglected to pay – maybe that’s what’s sown the seeds for a song…
Thought it was fantastic and touching that Nigel dedicated AOR to John’s brother who recently passed away. It was a great performance of one of their best songs and I think the crowd put extra effort into that one too. Doctor Desperate, not only did your brother do you proud with that new hi-vis but he has also ensured himself of a very visible presence at every future gig.
Enjoyed post-gig beers with Gipton Tony and Postman Tony in the Rain Bar over the road from Peverils Peak which was just too packed. Although it looked a bit neony from the outside, it was actually fine in the Rain (despite the shit music) and they served JW Lees ales, the first of which didn’t even touch the sides!
Nothing else to add other than thanks to everyone for making it such a great night. Already looking forward to York!
3 December 2018
Polly Tunnel
“The ever vigilant unswerving door staff” is probably too polite a description! IanC for your colleague to be treated like that at a gig is outrageous; hope that he considers making a complaint to the Ritz and the management. It would seem that disabilty awareness training (and eye tests!?) need to be refreshed or undertaken by the security staff.
Not sure if this would be helpful but there’s an Access card that you can apply for that may be useful to prove a disability or health condition instead of having to carry around a doctor’s or DWP letter or blue badge. There’s also a DID card (National Disabled IDentification card) No idea if one’s better than the other? Although it does seem wrong that you have to ‘prove’ that you have a disability in the first place.
3 December 2018
Ianc
Thanks for the info polly. It’s not that his spine stops him doing anything. He works a 50 hour week. Worst thing is he’s a been a licencee for 25 years. And of the 4 of us who went one of the others is too! 2 of us went in and 1 of us stayed with him out of solidarity. Letters will be sent…all seemed thoroughly unnecessary. Obviously expecting aggro from the well know trouble makers that frequent hmhb gigs!
3 December 2018
Bobby Svarc
This is why I no longer go to gigs, 90% of venues I’ve visited are disabled unfriendly. To have a piss in the disabled toilets at the Assembly, Leamington is a 20 minute exercise involving a journey on a lift. It got to the stage the stage that I used to dehydrate myself so I could though a gig without the ‘inconvenience’. Also to see the bands from the comfort of my wheelchair is almost impossible.
3 December 2018
wERVIN TURNPIKE
Excellent evening and great introduction to HMHB live for my 14yo son.
I was slightly perplexed by the gentleman giving the band the ‘V’s during the spoken part of Gazebo but assumed he was either over-inebriated or isn’t a fan and was with a mate. A quick bingo card compiled in the car on the way over resulted in full house by the end of the evening. Great crowd, the band was on the best form in ages.
3 December 2018
dr Desperate
A final word of thanks to the dozens of people who came over to me on Friday to offer sympathies (and a shoulder to cry on). Too many to name but including representation from this website, the Facebook HMHB Appreciation Society, Half Man Half Bike Kit and the Half Arsed Half Biscuit lads. Support from such a great community really helps. Kurt Vonnegut might have called it a karrass – in Biscuit terms I’d prefer Family Circle.
3 December 2018
dr Desperate
A couple of points of reference to add to Roger’s Exemplary Review ©:
The Herb Alpert walk-on music was last used at the 2014 Ritz gig, and was from 1968 to 1972 the theme music to Granada’s succinctly-titled football round-up programme ‘Football’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Zg3E8aer0
(The “Wuuuu-ha!” shout later appeared in TTFSOO on UfO. I was disappointed to have left my referee’s whistle at home in the pocket of my black satin tour jacket, as I’d been carrying it around for four years to use on exactly such an occasion.)
The cocktails on offer were ‘The Bell Ringer’, ‘Mileage’, ‘This Drink Made Columbia Famous’ and ‘Cocktails Afoot’.
And a final, final thanks to the band for the dedication of EAOR to Chris Burscough. Was it me being sensitive, or was the number of songs on the setlist referring to death (12 that I could spot) higher than normal? I’ll leave that one to the number-crunchers.
3 December 2018
Transit full of keith
Vicariously enjoying the gig through the medium of this site. (Behaviour of security aside, which sounds not just shocking, but probably illegal). What a set list. Evil Gazebo, Turned Up, Bladderwrack, Umberstone, and DBT would be around the top of my list of songs I’d like to hear live. Roll on Cambridge in April. Posters already sighted in Cambridge parks. Who says HMHB don’t do marketing?
3 December 2018
dr Desperate
Now I come to think of it, the likely reason they played the Granada ‘Football’ theme as walk-on music at both recent gigs at the Ritz was that it’s only a kilometre away from the old Granada Studios on Quay St. They’re currently being converted, in typical Manc fashion, into ‘The Factory’ arts centre (or creative hub if you prefer).
3 December 2018
dr Desperate
The Ritz is also only 200m from the Tesco Express building which used to house Rafters, where I first saw Slaughter And The Dogs play ‘White Light/White Heat’ in 1977. I put on some Velvets for my bro when I got home that weekend and he remarked on the distorted guitar. I explained it was due to overloading their Vox amps and he said, “Do they know?”
4 December 2018
aiwacat
Wasn’t the individual who wished they were still in the Briton’s Protection described as looking ‘like John McCarthy, chained to that radiator’?
4 December 2018
EXXO
Were they? Nice one Aiwacat (quite near the top of my list of usernames I’d love to hear explained one day, BTW). Great to hear if that John McCarthy line got recycled from the beginning of last season, when it was used about having to watch the standard of football Tranmere were playing, thus (for the few people who heard both) comparing the bad date victim with a bad football victim … also makes me wonder if the McCarthy image was ever considered for inclusion in the ‘Bladderwrack’ lyrics. Probably best it wasn’t, eh?
When I say “for the few people who heard both,” I was at both gigs, but on both occasions the John McCarthy line totally Goodyear airshipped me … which in itself is a kind of “who’s Stuart Boam?” experience. So thanks for that.
Maybe a few lyric threads deserve additional comments following this gig, or matters raised in reviews of it, including Umberstone, Bladderwrack and God Gave us Life?
4 December 2018
leyland Daft
First time I’d had what proved to be the immense pleasure and privilege of experiencing HMHB live (where the heck have I been?!) and what a night it was, from the vaguely-remembered Granada TV footie intro music and the sight of Karl sporting the new Moon Wiring Club t-shirt, the squad of Dukla shirts in the mosh-pit and the obvious community of the audience, Nigel’s anecdotes (for some unfathomable reason, my Dad always had a real downer on Glyn Pardoe back in the day – and might still have) and ‘bants’, through the consistent highs of the setlist all the way to the encore.
What a back catalogue, what a performance, what a band.
Many thanks to all for a terrific night out, the world’s a better place for having HMHB in it.
5 December 2018
TRANSIT FULL OF KEITH
Enjoyed the video of Evil Gazebo from this gig that’s up on youtube: the deadpan on-stage reactions to the premature “aaaaagh” from the moshcam operator, and the revelation that Pankhurst’s album is titled ‘My Italics, Your Colon’.
5 December 2018
Eric t’viking
“Matthew Amroliwala wala wala wal-la, ging gang goo ging gang goo”
Was that what you had in mind, @Phyllis Triggs (#24 above)…?
Dib dib dib.
6 December 2018
hendrix-tattoo
R.I.P. Chris Burscough….
(Thanks Automorph)
https://youtu.be/cAPMnugkm5A
6 December 2018
Phyllis Triggs
@Eric Possibly, yes…
6 December 2018
hendrix-tattoo
Gutted to hear the news about Dianne Oxberry (Post3)
R.I.P Dianne…
11 January 2019
Paul f
Me too – 25 years or so ago, when I still listened to Radio 1, I used to enjoy her on-air badinage with Simon Mayo on the breakfast show.
11 January 2019