Holmfirth has become a regular and much-loved haunt for the band in the last 10 years or so – this is the fifth visit since 2006. The Giant Set List Chart offers no real clues as to what they’ll play… but then again, what does? Here’s the verdict from those who were there…
Roman tOtale
Tempo House?!
13 March 2016
twistedkitemike
Roll up, roll up; Ladies and Gentlemen. Another fine evening of mirth, banter and tunes at teh Pleasuredome… eerrr, Picturedrome.
A bijou venue, packed to the Edwardian rafters and after a fairly sterile first hour, the mosh-pit almost erupted into life and was one of the bounciest I have seen for some time.
Just got home and added to the customary cone-wankery on the M1 was freezing fog from south of Bedford to the M25 and beyond. A proper old-fashioned pea-souper. The sky was clear and it was warmer in Yorkshire. I am not under the influence of anything. Except, maybe; coffee.
Anyway, others of you will ramble on later. For now, here is the seven-course tasting menu with accompanying wine flights: –
Irk
Old Age
Mountain Bikes
Pancake
Bad Losers
Chatteris
Lilac HQ
Korfball
Petty
1966
Bad Review
Hornbeam
Squabblefest
Dean Friedman
Vitas G
Bane
Fix It
NSD
Bob Wilson
Look Dad
Evening Sun
DPAK
JDOG
Vatican
AOR
Tempo House (The Fall)
Worried Man Blues
Trad Arr Tune
……………………….
Encs
……………………….
Trumpton
Country Practice
Light Tunnel
Nice to hear CP, can’t remember the last outing for it, but it is probably some time ago. No idea when Worried Man Blues was played, I ought to look before I start penning these things. Oh well, that takes the fun out of it for everyone else.
Good listening on the journey up for those (i.e. Me) that enjoy a bit of radio commentary with England beating Wales at Twickenham (lucky that the game is 80 minutes and not 90) and Chelsea losing in the Cup; doubled with Costa getting sent off. I couldn’t have made it up.
Mike…………………………….
13 March 2016
D list paul roSs
If you are the chap who courageously threw a full pint over one of the security staff before scurrying out I’d love to know your motivation for a thesis I’m writing on complete bell ends
13 March 2016
UNSEAWORTHING
Great gig, just over 2 hours from start to finish with a very short break for the encore just before 11pm
Saw the King of Hi Viz (with his Midge Ure t-shirt) & DPAK shirt wearer wandering around Holmfirth earlier on, some other good shirts around too – the Shit Arm/Chatteris couple and the Dennis Bell t-shirt guy. Someone said there was another person in Hi Viz in the audience, but didn’t see them, saw two pairs of JDOG’s in audience from my position on the balcony.
Comments from NB about Chester Zoo, including correcting people spelling Orangutan and a Theremin being for sale (long before Look Dad, there was a couple of comments that referenced songs played later in the set, none of which I can remember now). Stuck up a Hornbeam lurched to a halt after about 20-30 seconds after NB starts it in different key to everyone else, it should’ve been in C apparently …
A brief bit of Song to the Siren was played before Vatican Broadside too, and A Country Practice slightly extended for more Flaming Drongo’s (couldn’t make out who though). Tempo House though, second time I’ve seen them cover The Fall after they did Container Drivers in Manchester 2007, but this was a lot better. Finally, the caravan guitar was out for Trumpton …
13 March 2016
twistedkitemike
Always good to choose a subject in which the potential content is as vast as the oceans in comparison to the land mass on the planet.
Not guilty on this occasion, I am a completely different type of bell end.
M…………..
13 March 2016
Wervin Turnpike
A welcome return for the caravan guitar, spouse and I have been ruminating on its absence in the last couple of years. Another thoroughly enjoyable night out at the picturedrome, though as mentioned above it picked up noticeably after Vitas Gerulaitis. Did I mishear the tail end of the stuff about ‘Not in service’ buses and their Illuminati drivers? I’m pretty sure ‘A Scanner Darkly’ wasn’t by Theodore Sturgeon.
13 March 2016
EXXO
All three encores were 2011 semi-finalists, a passing statto reminds me.
The prom here is full of Ultra Sur this afternoon. Somebody gimme a spork.
13 March 2016
D list paul roSs
I think the bus drivers were shapeshifters rather than illuminati but I’m usually wrong. Nice salute for the mention of Tarkus.
13 March 2016
dr desperate
I love it when a plan comes together. M’ladyfriend and I arrived at the Elephant & Castle just in time to bags a window-seat table for the England/Wales match, and spent the first half being interviewed by an eagle-eyed newshound from a publication whose circulation is four times that of the New Statesman (I can say no more). We met up with CtSO for the second half, and were regaled over us teas with tales of the rollicking world of siteowning. Round to The Nook for pre-match drinks with Jitsu_G and companions, including Thorsten the Hamburger and Torquay Lee, sporting a Warden Hodges tin hat. Departure to the venue was timed precisely by spotting JD Meatyard scurrying across at 7.50.
His support set was a triumph, with Tamsin A on electric guitar adding to the racket immensely despite having had only a 50-minute run-through of the songs. Uncle John broke a string on his acoustic early doors, and asked which guitarist was noted for changing his while carrying on playing (Rory Gallagher or BB King, apparently).
‘Rhapsody In Blue’ was the walk-on music, the drama of Gershwin’s masterpiece dissipated by a lengthy delay before ‘Irk The Purists’. The setlist then proceeded as below, with ‘Joyce’ and ‘Bad Wools’ dropped and ‘Trumpton’ replacing ‘Tommy Walsh’ as per Nigel’s admission that the list as-is no longer represented the list as-was.
A call for ‘Black Satin Tour Jacket’ (“It’s what Keith Emerson would have wanted”) was rejected on the not-unreasonable grounds that the last time they’d tried it out in a live environment the crowd had started to talk amongst themselves after the first minute. Nigel did, however, salute the late Fingers at the mention of ‘Tarkus’ in ‘Vitas Gerulaitis’.
No route details, but the band had stopped off along the way to do some dry-stone walling. Having spotted a face in the crowd Nigel mocked, “Are you staying over? You only come from Doncaster”, then wondered if the Rotherham Postie was in. He wasn’t, so it fell to me to supply the missing song request, with the usual lack of success. Ditto calls from the crowd for something from ‘Godcore’, met only with a partial track listing.
Nigel mentioned Theodore Sturgeon, just because he liked saying it, and we bonded over ‘Flow My Tears, The Policemen Said’, ‘A Scanner Darkly’ and (during the outro to ‘Gok Wan’) ‘Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?’, these reminiscences in no way diminished by the fact that all three were written by Philip K Dick. It was also revealed that if he does have an ambition in life, it’s to get on a bus displaying ‘Not In Service’, notwithstanding that the drivers are probably shape-shifters. The Bill Withers duck joke was topped by one about Googie Withers (“How do you get out of ‘Prisoner: Cell Block H’? Sit on a radiator till…”)
Ken was the first man in Wallasey to play Pacman. The bitter ex-soap stars included Adan Woodyatt and Julie Goodyear; Elton Welsby is now almost immortal as well as illegal; the gods that made the gods were born after Nigel realised that Tranmere would never get any higher than eighth.
In guitar news, ‘Hornbeam’ had a false start and had to be recalled (“It’s C, isn’t it?”), the Airstream finally stayed in tune long enough to play ‘Trumpton’, and the Fall cover ‘Tempo House’ was driven by ferocious bass from Neil, the bassist. Splendid.
Look out for April 18th’s edition of the Big issue. I can say no more.
On to Southampton!
13 March 2016
Bobby SVARC
Is it such a big issue?
13 March 2016
Chris The Siteowner
Can I venture as far as saying that was one of my favourite HMHB-centred days out ever? Great company beforehand (Dr & Mrs D); nice to meet Peter the journo writing about us, Thorsten, Karen, and others too numerous to mention; and renewing acquaintances with Jitsu G and company as well. Great town, great venue, what more could we want? Well, a great gig, and we got it. The sound was tremendous, and while I concur that things got a lot more lively in the second half, I’d really had a ball in the first half too, with Nigel appearing to enjoy himself as much as I’ve seen in years. “Old Age” was a highlight, and “Fix It” was an absolute thrill to hear. The new (?), almost snarling, monotone delivery for “A Country Practice” was another highlight. Blimey that was good.
13 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Referred to Rotherham Postie as Sisyphus for his unyielding (and usually unsuccessful) cries of Godcore over the years. And surely Within These Walls rather than Prisoner Cell Block H?
13 March 2016
dr desperate
‘Within These Walls’ it was. And ‘Big Issue’. And ‘Adam’. When the hangover strikes…
13 March 2016
D list paul roSs
PS CTSO were you wearing a blue checked shirt over a DPAK? I wanted to buy you a drink for all your excellent work but I got star-struck. For a gobshite I’m quite shy…
13 March 2016
Warden hodges
Intrigued by the Big Issue thing. Guess I’ll be handing over my 2 nicker on Church St next month.
13 March 2016
Jitsu_g
Was a great afternoon / evening / gig. Good as ever to catch up with Dr D & E, CtSO and Thorsten over from Germany again. Great venue, saw my first biscuits gig there in December 2010. Last night was number 27.
13 March 2016
Chris The Siteowner
DLPR: oh yes, and Dr D has posted the evidence. Say hi at the next one (which for me will be Cambridge)…
13 March 2016
Rubber Faced Irritant
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Big Ish
Big Ish who?
Well, go on then, if its got HMHB related-content in it.
13 March 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
Thanks for a great weekend boy’s….you sounded brilliant….stayed at the nook top class room….enjoyed the picturedrome venue also….also enjoyed the lovely company in the elephant & castle….who were very generous of them to let me tag along with them….while we enjoyed fish and chips….thorsten from hamburg had sausage & chips….then drinks at the nook….fella with the midge ure milk thief t-shirt and his missus? with her ovengloves….all lovely people and thanks again for a top weekend….GOD BLESS KEN HANCOCK
13 March 2016
Jitsu_g
Glad you had a good night. Nice to meet another honved top.
14 March 2016
dr desperate
Having watched the video of NSD on YouTube, I now recall that NB10’s advice to embrace the margin went on “That’s what I do, with my Solpadeine Plus – not my Solpadeine Max, I’ve got it under control” (see Bristol review). Speaking of Boots, ‘A Country Practice’ appeared on the setlist (hand-written on a page torn from a 2001 desk diary) as TCP.
14 March 2016
cARRIE ANNE
As usual, an epic of a review of this stuff from the pencil of lovely Roger Green, as taken from Gez’s website:
The Picturedrome, Holmfirth, Sat 12th March 2016 (13/03/16)
Roger Green:
Another avalanche of media coverage ahead of this gig. This time it was an article in New Statesman. If that magazine was not so reactionary, surely they would change their name to New Statesperson. Isn’t that more appropriate for the 21st century? Judging from my inability to find a copy anywhere, it clearly isn’t left-wing enough for Pontefract. I had to travel to the more moderate, cosmopolitan centre of Wakefield to track it down. The article (“The fine art of giving offence”) was written by Julie Burchill, late of New Musical Express before it went down the acronym (and difficult to find, just like New Statesman) route. It’s all good stuff, although I had to read the bit again where she said that the recent Bristol gig was her first HMHB show. As always, whenever anyone says they have never seen the band live before, I beg to ask the question “Just where exactly have you been?” And the old Tranmere Rovers / The Tube chestnut was dragged out again. You start to wonder if people read this and don’t actually know what The Tube was, and are similarly unaware of the story behind HMHB’s booking. If that’s you, then I can’t be bothered to reel it out. You will have to look it up.
There is another avalanche on the way. Courtesy of Peter, who is a proper writer. He is putting together a piece on HMHB fans, which is due to appear in The Big Issue at some point. Having been interviewed by him down the phone while sitting in Karen’s car in the middle of Bawtry, I met up with him in Sid’s Café to discuss matters. Over the course of the day, he talked with various folk: the band, management of the band, and fans of the band. The whole thing is due to appear some time in April. Can’t remember whether he said the 11th or the 18th.
At the gig, Andrew was standing next to me. He told me that he had appeared recently on Eggheads. Jeremy Vine had asked Andrew about his interests. Andrew had mentioned about following Half Man Half Biscuit and had generally chatted about the band. But, sadly, it was all subject to the editorial chop, and none of it appeared when the programme was screened.
More BBC censorship to report, I’m afraid. On the Saturday morning I had texted Mary Anne Hobbs, asking her to play Nove On The Sly. I thought Mary Anne might have been keen to do so, with her getting a mention and all that. Sadly, no!
Anything to claim a tenuous link to the band, I raised what is left of one of my eyebrows when I found out that I share a birthday with Yuri Gagarin. At least I did, for a handful of years, before his unfortunate, and rapid, demise. On the subject of my birthday, the night before the gig Karen took me for a late celebration, to Thai On The Square in the middle of Wakefield. If Thai food is your thing, then this is the place for you. We opted for a set meal. Seafood is not Karen’s thing, so I scoffed the prawn dish myself. Everything else also scored high marks. We’ll definitely be back there maybe one day when, who knows, HMHB are back in town. If you do that though, chaps, please give Unity Hall a go.
I don’t normally get behind the wheel for gigs, but I generally make an exception for Holmfirth. Steady, scenic ride, taking in the A638, B6378, A61, A636 and A635. Although I still hate the junction where it crosses the A629. Hate? Maybe that’s a bit strong. But it is fair to say that I have failed to wholeheartedly embrace this particular junction. Having safely negotiated that obstacle, we were in Holmfirth soon enough. It was surprisingly easy to find a space in the Old Bridge car park. And off we headed for some local hospitality in the shape of Scufflers Café. There was a slight downer when we realised that the background music was True by Spandau Ballet. We battled through. Next up we were singing along (quietly) to a previous HMHB cover, The Air That I Breathe by The Hollies. Things got even better with God Only Knows by The Beach Boys, and we finished our drinks while listening to Madness’ version of It Must Be Love. We sprinted for the door when Boris Gardner’s I Want To Wake Up With You started up. But all in all, it was a pleasant spot.
One of the great things about shows at this venue, is that you can sidle in to the sound check. They may have done some songs before I got there, but When The Evening Sun Goes Down, Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess, Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis and Stuck Up A Hornbeam all sounded fine. I would have said it was a bit trebly, but the professionals round and about all seemed happy. I tried to get some info out of Geoff about possible shows in the future. It doesn’t sound like there is much going on after Cambridge in June, but I find it hard to believe that that will be it for the rest of the year.
From there, I made haste in the direction of Hollowgate Fisheries. Nice chip butty. But there was a fair queue in there. I’ve seen incidents of social disorder when folk have had to wait that long for their chips, but it was worth the delay. While I was inside the shop, Karen was waiting outside, and she later told me something that makes me realise how great this band is. I am old enough to remember the times when the news featured the likes of The Bay City Rollers or The Osmonds getting mobbed by their fans, whenever they landed at an airport. With HMHB, this principle happens in reverse. Karen was mobbed outside the chip shop by Nigel, Neil and Denise (Nigel’s wife). They saw the queue and decided to head for the pizza place next door. I remember in Blackburn, Carl took a photo of me and Tony. We were saying “No, no, surely it’s us that should be taking a picture of you.” Bloody pop stars, eh.
Then it was back to the Picturedrome. Not that we are excitable types, but Karen, Tony and I were in the first half dozen through the door when the place opened. Apparently it was a sell out. A blue wristband was supplied on entry. Soon we were joined by Andrew, Daz, Jay, Lee, Katharine, Karl and John the King Of Hi Vis. Howie was there as well, but a leg injury is currently keeping him away from the mosh pit.
And it wasn’t long before JD Meatyard were on stage. John’s backing band has taken various forms in recent times. Sometimes, he hasn’t had any backing at all. Tonight, Gary was hitting the drums and Tamsin was playing guitar. “Not bad for a fifty-minute rehearsal,” as John said. He was still full on with the vocal performance of Sad Song Of A Singer Songwriter, St Peter Won’t Let Me In and Standing On The Shoulders. He’s still got the Celtic beanie as well. Karen and I smiled when he referred to a night in Sheffield where we had seen him headlining. A few of the people there had left during the course of his show. “Daily Mail readers,” as he remarked.
Even Tony was baffled by the HMHB walk-on music (“could be Bartok”) before it became clear that it was in fact George Gershwin’s Rhapsody In Blue. “One of Geoff’s,” Nigel pointed out, before starting the first song. “It’s all downhill from here.” In the final line of Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes, Nigel pointed to Neil and sang “That’s when I told him that Tranmere would only finish eighth.”
There was a shout about typing out set lists. Nigel replied that it would be nice to have something with which to type out the list. And in any case, it usually changes about five minutes before they come on stage, and sometimes even during the set. He also pointed out that the band went dry stone walling in Birdsedge on their way to Holmfirth.
After Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess, Nigel had two things he wanted to draw our attention to. First was Rushed Breakfasts In Soap Operas. Adam Woodyatt running out with a slice of toast does not convince him. And secondly, Chas ‘n’ Dave’s hit Gertcha refers to Poland knocking England out of the World Cup. This is not actually what happened. England and Poland drew 1-1 at Wembley in a group qualification match. It did not directly represent Poland knocking England out. Nigel said he wrote to the record company “recently” about this, bearing in mind the match took place in 1973.
Ken was the first man in Wallasey to have Pacman. Nigel told a couple of jokes which might not look so good written down. How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until its bill withers. And then he told the only other joke that he knows that also contains the word “withers”. How do you get within these walls? Sit on a radiator until your googie withers. You had to be there. And a vague memory of Within These Walls and Googie Withers might help.
The “for sure” at the end of Joy In Leeuwarden led to Nigel adding “Steve McClaren in Holland. For sure.” He had seen on the notice board at Chester Zoo that someone was selling a theramin. And he remains keen on making corrections at that place when an incorrect “g” is added at the end of “orang utan”. There was a shout of “Super White Army”, referring to Tranmere. Nigel replied “Not today”, having seen their result, a 0-0 draw at Dover. When the band was packing away at the end of the night, I discussed this further with him. Tranmere are one of about half a dozen teams in the National League who are vying for two places in the play-offs. Although they currently sit in fourth place, there are plenty of teams just below them with games in hand, who can overtake them. So a win today would have come in handy.
There was a false start to Stuck Up A Hornbeam. “This starts with C, doesn’t it?” said Nigel, before getting it right second time round. “If I have any aspirations,” he said, “it is to board one of those buses that have Sorry Not In Service on the front. Three have gone past me in the last week. And you never see the drivers’ faces.” Nigel said at one point that the feedback from Ken’s side of the stage sounded like the whole Sub Pop back catalogue. Nigel had meant to change the lyric in The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman from “tumour” to “puma”. But he forgot. He referred back to Chester Zoo. He bought a sticker saying I Hate Pizza And I Hate Jesus. “I stuck it in the window. Now I never get visitors.”
The “Oh Vienna” shout at the end of Bane Of Constance was followed by a discussion about Joe Dolce’s Shaddap You Face keeping the Ultravox song from the top of the charts. Nigel told a joke about going to a traffic warden’s funeral. As they were lowering the coffin, there was a shout from inside. “I’m not dead, yet,” came the voice. “I’m sorry,” said the vicar, “but all the paperwork has been done.”
Tony impressed Nigel by spotting a snippet of Pancho And Leftie by Townes Van Zandt. That’s a new one to me. During National Shite Day, Nigel mentioned about picking up his Solpadeine Plus in the bit where he mentions Boots. There was a shout of “What did God give us, Neil?” Nigel asked if the guy who shouted this was actually The Rotherham Postie’s replacement. “He’s like Sisyphus.” That is the guy in mythology who was condemned to rolling a boulder up the side of the mountain. And when it rolled back down, he had to start again. You will know what he means if you have been at a gig where the opening line of God Gave Us Life has been repeated time and time again.
Stuck Up A Hornbeam met with the approval of the local witten. There were shouts for “Godcore”. Nigel gave us a couple of bars from Fretwork Homework (“That’s all I know.”) and when asked for Satin Tour Jacket, he said that a few years ago they played it, but noticed after a minute that the crowd were talking among themselves.
Afterwards Carl was slightly apologetic for the performance of the Fall cover. I didn’t see anything that warranted an apology. A great band doing a great song originally done by another great band. Not much wrong with that.
There was a slightly longer set list than normal. As follows.
Irk The Purists
Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride
Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes
If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess
For What Is Chatteris?
A Lilac Harry Quinn
Joy In Leeuwarden
Petty Sessions
1966 And All That
Bad Review
Stuck Up A Hornbeam
Running Order Squabble Fest
The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
Outbreak Of Vitas Gerulaitis
The Bane Of Constance
Fix It So She Thinks Of Me
National Shite Day
Bob Wilson Anchorman
Look Dad No Tunes
When The Evening Sun Goes Down
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
Joy Division Oven Gloves
Vatican Broadside
Everything’s AOR
Tempo House
Worried Man Blues
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
And three in the encore
Trumpton Riots
A Country Practice
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
Thanks as ever to Tony and Karen for technical points. Poor effort from Sainsburys on the Sunday morning. There was no Non League Paper in stock. So I went to the newsagent at the top of Victoria Street. No problems there. And I had a good chat with Bob And Sue after breakfast. They had come from over the hills to the show. They said they wouldn’t be going to any of the ones in May or June, but hopefully there will be something back in the north later in the year. Before that, I’ve got a new place, Southampton, to tick off.
14 March 2016
Hendrix TATtoo
A big thank you jitsu-g & his lovely lady friend…for making me welcome….hope to meet up again at any future hmhb northern gigs in the future….how does it feel being unemployed for a few days….good luck with your new job….also say hello to your pal from leeds for me….and also a big thank you to king of hi vis….please stop aaron ramsay scoring ever again for the arsenal….GOD BLESS YOU ALL….
14 March 2016
EXXO
We are truly blessed, are we not? Beati mundo what’s the possessive of Biscuit? Ibi lux et nunquam robbery – Not only a band that bends over backwards to give value – 31 bloody songs (and I hope you all told the Big Issue fella about the sheer churn-over of material which keeps us coming back for more, going to gigs because you know for certain if you don’t you’ll miss out on something unique) – but also (breathes in) a reviewer like Roger Green who makes us feel like we were there.
14 March 2016
D list paul roSs
Cheers CTSO with money, kids etc I can usually only do a 50 mile radius of Bingley but my brother lives in Hauxton and is going so you never know.
14 March 2016
dr desperate
I told the Big Issue fella (Peter Ross, for it is he) that among the joys of going to the gigs are:
1. They’re always different, always the same (© Peel);
2. The search for the perfect setlist, which I couldn’t name, but would recognise it if I saw it;
3. Ubi lux numquam videbitur nisi tenebrae.
He may have missed the quote from St Augustine as there was a rugby match going on in the background.
14 March 2016
EXXO
Not sure about the always the same, Ravenscroft you old bastard I don’t get that at all.
Peelie’s ghost and me are also very disappointed with number of mentions of fucking rugby in the pre-gig thread and this one.
Just pretend it doesn’t exist and it’ll soon die out.
14 March 2016
dr desperate
Having watched the video of FWIC on YouTube, I now recall that NB10 introduced it with “I don’t mind a bit of Chas ‘n’ Dave, who doesn’t? That’s not a euphemism”.
The night that Poland drew 1-1 to stop England going to Brazil was my 16th birthday. Jan Tomaszewski (the “circus clown in gloves” © Brian Clough) had five metatarsals fractured by Sniffer Clarke in the second minute, but carried on to play a blinder and save the game for Poland.
14 March 2016
EXXO
They were going to Brazil as well? Blimey.
14 March 2016
dr desperate
Sorry, CtSO, that should obviously be metacarpals.
14 March 2016
dr desperate
And West Germany. I’ve got to stop this business of posting while drunk.
14 March 2016
EXXO
Easily done. I was supposed to be going to the gig in Holmfirth but ended up in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria.
Am training teachers of English & people who train teachers of English, and I’ve been trying for years not to do this, but today I ended up using National Shite Day in class as an example of songs not to choose, and methodology not to choose, when teaching English in Spain. I don’t think I’d have done it if it wasn’t for the frustration of missing out on Saturday. Fuck ’em.
14 March 2016
Phyllis Triggs
Ok, how does Roger remember so much? Does he have a spectacularly good memory or does he just record the whole show? Thanks for posting that Carrie Anne, so much of the banter gets forgotten in the excitement and some of it I didn’t catch in the first place so its great to have any gaps filled in.
Interesting to hear that Nigel’s wife is called Denise. Having read Exxo’s musings on the name Nigel I’ll venture that the name Denise is a female equivalent. I’ll bet her mum was made up when she found out her daughter was going out with a Nigel! Whether the name was enough to temper her subsequent disappointment on discovering that her daughter’s intended didn’t wear a suit to work (or indeed, work at all!) we will probably never know.
Anyway, back to Holmfirth. After Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman Nigel informed us that he’d meant to change the lyric and sing ‘puma’ instead of ‘tumour’. “I was young when I wrote that” he says, looking down and shaking his head. But he forgot and sang ‘tumour’ anyway. Shame. I’d like to have heard how the change affected the rest of the lyric. And then the thought struck me today; what if Bette Midler actually did have a puma – you know what these Beverly Hills types are like – a sleek black one wearing diamonds around its neck? Somewhat bizarrely I googled ‘Bette Midler’s puma’ (euphemisms Audrey) but failed to turn anything up. Still, with Nigel it’s always best to check…
Appearing in ACP alongside bitter ex-soap stars Julie Goodyear and Adam Woodyatt (he’s honoured – two mentions in one show!) was flaming drongo Alf ‘flat-head’ Stewart from Home and Away. And my fellow Biscuiteer reminds me that French Tennis player Henri Leconte came in for a bit of stick, apparently sparked off by ‘The Centre Court’s amusement at the ballboy’s mishap’ – it seems that in retirement fairly average player Monsieur Leconte has made a fairly successful career on the veterans tennis circuit just by being somewhat mildly amusing. Nice work if you can get it.
I agree with others on here that the 1st half of the show felt a bit flat. For whatever reason, I detected a distinct lack of crowd energy. Perhaps Nigel had set the mood when he sauntered on stage wearing a cardie. (The difference between us and all the other bands…) I’d been looking forward to this gig for months – my favourite band in one of my favourite venues. I found myself in danger of thinking the unthinkable ‘Hope I’m not going to be disappointed here…’ Ah, witness the pressure, the expectations… Such is the burden we put upon them, no small wonder so many performers call on chemical reinforcements – Nigel himself hints at a Solpadeine Plus habit “Not the Max. I’ve got it under control…” He can handle it. Let us hope its not a gateway to the Haliborange…
However, knitwear notwithstanding, the music soon works its magic. The small energetic group a few rows infront of me seems to be growing larger and there’s one guy in particular hurling himself around as if his very life depended on it. His efforts are soon rewarded. Captured by the beats of The Bane of Constance, the irresistible headlong rush towards its crazy climax claims this crowd. Oh my brothers and sisters ‘pon my Soul let the Spirit IN! And I’m completely gone – jumping up and down shouting ‘Midge Ure looks like a milk thief!’
Continuous action follows. As we reach for the Oven Gloves a guy near me can restrain himself no longer – ‘You’ll have to hold my glasses’ he says to his mate, ‘I’m going in’.
After a triumphant set which included several personal favourites – Teenage Bride, AOR, Look Dad No Tunes (Thurston Moore doco on BBC2 the previous night BTW) we are treated to what for me was pretty much the perfect encore. A rare outing for (another personal favourite) ACP sandwiched between Trumpton and TLATEOTT. In fact, if encores were sandwiches this would be a fried egg and chip butty made with an oven-bottom muffin, dripping with butter, plenty of salt and vinegar,and tomato sauce. And hell, seeing as Nigel improvised through ACP (was that intended or had he just forgotten the words?) lets add some chilli pickle too!
A caravan shaped guitar was wheeled out for Trumpton Riots. As he handed it backstage, Nigel shouted after it, ‘Don’t tow it away!’
Whatever am I to tell them at work when they ask about my weekend? They’ve never heard of the band. They have no interest in music. They already think I’m strange and only ask to be polite. ‘How was your gig?’ ‘Fantastic! A bald man wearing a cardie playing a caravan-shaped guitar…’
Thanks Dr D for the setlist insight. ‘Hand-written on a page torn from a 2001 desk diary’ eh? Just about as far away from a typed-out setlist as you can get. I love them more and more.
Finally, regarding the shapeshifting/illuminati bus drivers – does anyone else have any recollection of a kids TV programme (or possibly book) with (possibly)shape-shifting or weird/scary bus drivers in it? Demons perhaps? Or is this false memory syndrome?
15 March 2016
Peter Ross
Hello. This is the journalist writing the story about HMHB fans for The Big Issue. I met some of you in Holmfirth on Saturday. I’ve just nipped on here to say it’s been great talking to you about the band. Thanks for being very welcoming and generous with your time. I thought the gig was fantastic. I’m not certain yet when the story will be published. Some time in April, I believe. I’ll pop back on here, if Chris is okay with that, and let you know when I have a confirmed date. All the best.
15 March 2016
dr desperate
Meat Loaf (q v) was fairly scary as the bus driver in ‘Spice World’ (though probably not as scary as Gary Glitter would have been, had his cameo not been cut).
15 March 2016
Eyamfraeeyam
No paintball. No cry. Hearing recovering. Landlord said his mate had met the band out on the Kate Bush ethereal. Repairing a bit of drystone, And completely lost.
18 March 2016