In the shadow of the Peak District, home of Mam Tor and Kinder Scout, lies the smallest town to host a Biscuits gig since Roadwater in 2009. Probably. Was it the greatest thing ever to happen in this fine town? You report.
In the shadow of the Peak District, home of Mam Tor and Kinder Scout, lies the smallest town to host a Biscuits gig since Roadwater in 2009. Probably. Was it the greatest thing ever to happen in this fine town? You report.
Diggler
The signs wern’t looking good when the road through from Saddleworth to Holmfirth was closed, however an alternative route was sought and a steady pair of nerves at the wheel ensured a safe trip to the Picturedrome.
My debut HMHB live experience surpassed all my expectations. A quick pint in “The Nook” (which, by the way, did “used to be the Rose & Crown”!), and we made our way over to catch the end of the support act’s set. They kind of passed me by really, I suppose my thoughts were firmly on the main attraction.
I picked up a replacement HMHB lighter from Geoff’s merchandise stall for my mate Paul who lost the one he got earlier this year in Leamington Spa and we made our way to the edge of the mosh pit.
Nigel kicked off proceedings by playing a quick burst of the eight or so notes that was the “Thames” Telelevison theme, before kicking in to Sh*t Arm, Bad Tattoo. This was followed by Trumpton Riots (which sent the moshers into a frenzy) and a breezy “Petty Sessions” – for my first experience of HMHB live, I couldn’t have asked for better openers.
Further highlights followed, here are handful of them:
* Nigel’s take of how he invited a schoolfriend Tony to his 8th birthday party, where upon Tony didn’t bring him a present, promising to “bring it to school on Monday”. He didn’t.
* Who wanted the world cup here any way? It’s best when the games start at 11:30am – and you don’t want your neighbours getting into football, do you?
* An attempt at the Ballad of Climie Fisher, abandoned an eighth of the way in.
* Guest spot for Victoria on Gubba lookalikes.
* Nigel covering Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci’s “Patio Song”, which merged into Vatican Broadside.
* Stage invasion from a refreshed punter, unsure what he was doing there, but he made no trouble and left when he realised he had taken a wrong turn somewhere…
* Nigel producing the xmas fairy lights and tinsel on the mike stand before they played It’s Cliched To Be Cynical At Christmas.
Not a review as much, more a reaction to my overwhelming joy following the gig last night. Thanks to The Picturedrome, Geoff and the Band for making my year.
17 December 2010
Narberther
Good review Diggler!
Sounds like it was a good night
17 December 2010
Diggler
Forgot to add, no Twenty Four Hour Garage People so no report on the price of a tube of Pringles. About a month ago, the Murco filling station had them on offer of 99p
17 December 2010
Simon Greenwood
My first HMHB too last night and an excellent show. Nigel appreciated the weir by the front entrance to the Picturedrome (it’s a very nice weir, it has to be said), a ripping ‘Everything’s AOR’ among many other things, and an passable attempt at ‘I Remember Nothing’ by Joy Division (this might not be right, my JD-fu is a bit rusty and I haven’t got ‘Unknown Pleasures’ to hand, not even in glove form).
17 December 2010
chris p
Fantastic gig, and seemed pretty full too, unlike Preston (though to be fair that was a re-arranged date). Diggler has already highlighted the main points. All the usual encore floor-fillers came early tonight (TR, JDOG, AOR), and apart from the Gorky’s Patio Song intro to Vatican there was no cover version other than a few blasts of JDivision bass and Nigel’s solo stab at Lou Reed’s The Kids, tragically abandoned after the first verse (the song that is, not the kids!). We left the Picturedrome to the dulcet tones of Rainbow’s Stargazer on the PA, a surreal end to a perfect evening!
Oh, and hardy perennial support band Calvin Party seem to have been re-born as a solo act, does anyone have any info?
17 December 2010
Narberther
Anyone posting a setlist? And did anyone undertake the modern pastime of recording the gig? (Not that modern I grant you but happening more regularly perhaps)
17 December 2010
Greasby Shark
@ NARBERTHER Review and setlist courtesy of Mr Green on Gez’s site.
I’m still recovering from the hair raising return journey between Chester and Holmfirth! The road I should have taken off Woodhead was closed due to snow and I therefore had to go via roads which were almost equally impassable yet somehow still open!
Nigel wasn’t kidding when he advised us to think of it as an expedition; Shackleton himself might have struggled in those conditions.
I hope the worst of what the British winter has to throw at us has passed by the middle of February, as getting to Sheffield involves yet another drive over the Pennine ridge. Worth it, though!
18 December 2010
jas
Re Holmfirth. Real aliens will have enjoyed the discussion about public bathing on the peninsula. The man’s description of the baths in Rock Ferry rang true. I cannot vouch for ‘Flipper’ though. Why was Harvey Smith not mentioned regarding ‘horse of the year show’; well show-jumping anyway, I noticed a few Yorkshire two fingered salutes.
Yours D Grey
18 December 2010
Charles Exford
The Greasby Shark must be feeling very vindicated about Woodchurch pool.
I can vouch for Guinea gap baths in Seacombe having hosted both Flipper (a claim from the audience) AND the sealions (as seen by NB57).
But I never learned to swim there despite about a million fearsome, harrowing dunkings in the shallow end.
I’ll try to put this in context as concisely as possible in my review.
19 December 2010
Gleavo
Wirralite and know Byrne Avenue well and can vouch for the changing rooms being both sides of the pool. Original 1920s salt water/sand filter and still going strong as far as I know…
Worse though was during gig saying to my OH “I saw dolphins at G Gap baths” seconds before the “I saw Flipper” comment’ quick text to my big sis: “When we went to see the dolphins at G Gap, was it Flipper?” Text came back ‘Of course it was – don’t you remember?”
Loved Holmfirth: The gig and stay in Posh country house was my 40th birthday prezzie.
19 December 2010
Godsy
My first time seeing them too, and it was amazing. Holmfirth is indeed a very nice town.
Bumped into NB and Neil at about 3.30pm outside the Picturedrome when going for a walk. Said hello and expressed anticipation at the night ahead, to which Nigel replied he was glad to know someone else had made it, at least.
Many highlights of the gig, but AOR and Monmore stand out, when it got pretty lively. No one’s mentioned Neil forgetting his “I ask myself” entry in Bad Review and looking perplexed throughout the song, or NB himself fluffing the start of DPAK “after 25 years of playing it” (paraphrased). Of course, these aren’t complaints, it was a brilliant night.
19 December 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Review and setlist by Roger Green on Gez’s site
19 December 2010
dave gilbert
Took mi son last time they were in holmfirth (im a local lad) and he went nuts when he knew they were back as hes now at uni in Newcastle.Thought they were superb almost tunefull. Fantastic offerings of 1966, trumpton riots, jdog in fact almost the entire set was as good if not better than ever. Great to see so many folk had made from over the hill adding to a superb atmosphere,and a great pick me up after the Fall only did about 50 minutes at the same venue the month before (though superb).
19 December 2010
Charles Exford
Deluxe Christmas Biscuit Selection only £17.50
For those worried about transport to this gig, the sky clears miraculously and it is soon way too cold for snow. Though if you did choose the minor roads it’s your own fault. Just a few days earlier, the geezer with the double-necked guitar had cancelled a gig at the same venue, but the people of the town do understand that HMHB are made of sterner stuff. We descend into Holmfirth under living, twinkling stars, so bright and near that you can hardly tell what’s a farmhouse on the valley top and what’s a celestial body arriving from thousands of light years away to herald the advent of something a bit special. We are so hungry for music, beer and chips that our very souls feel hollow. So we are all guided by the same star to the first of meeting places – the Hollowgate Fisheries[1]. We are lucky to get there first because soon an improbable number of Probe musicians (and what appears at first to be their improbable Dutch fan club) are stuffed into this unfeasibly tiny chippy. Everyone is there except NB57 in fact, who is probably off somewhere chewing on his pemmican. The hollow mouths of the hollow men are soon stuffed too, so there is an excuse to avoid speech.
The bright new star illuminates a man hesitating by a riverside litter bin. It is Good King Geoff of Probeland, who has travelled afar from the West with the other wise men. Before chucking away his leftovers, a karmic inner voice reminds him that his chips and scraps and mushy peas could be the difference between life and death to a furred or feathered creature of the frozen Holme valley. He feeds the morsels lovingly down the riverbank to where the waterfowl will find them in the morning, if the rats’ feet don’t come first over the broken glass.
The star now hovers above the Picturedrome as red-nosed biscuiteers nuzzle up to the frosty window panes of the venue. But despite the glamour of passing brass sections and the rumour of backstage pool tables, the warmth of the interior is as yet denied to us – we need different Steve Harley wrist bands for that. Fortunately there is room at more than one inn, and without having to wander more than thirty yards from the venue we manage four different fine ales in three pubs, all of them warming our cockles with their jingle bells, piney smells and bright fairy lights. The highlight is an infernal winter brew called “Diablo” from the infallible Elland Brewery, weighing in at a tasteful 5.8%. Many happy returns to Kevin Sampson, who is not here to research another colour supplement HMHB spread to mark the tenth anniversary of his last one, but is merely celebrating his own 50th birthday with pre-gig libations before watching his favourite four-piece.
When we’re finally inside this wonderful old venue, the Dutch fan club from the chippy turn out to be two thirds of the support act, for Calvin Party’s John Donaldson has struck out sideways and is performing with two chums from the Netherlands, going by the name of “JD Meatyard”. I’ve always appreciated Calvin Party’s support slots but this is more direct, emotional folk and protest stuff. Fine tunes, rivetingly delivered. “All these songs have been or will be available on the only truly independent label there is”, John tells us. I think of Probe Plus feeding us scraps in a barren, starving cultural wasteland and wish that all my myriad nieces and nephews would be happy with Probe merchandise Xmas gifts purchased from Geoff’s stall. That would save a lot of trouble and disappointment.
But labelmates HMHB are soon on. “Loving your weir” greets Nigel, checking he’s still in tune with a quick Thames TV “ident”. Shit Arm Bad Tattoo is the storming set-opener, and we can tell right away that there has been a soundcheck, so no repeat of the major sound problems at the last gig in Durham. “Dick Krzywicki, Ladies & Gentlemen”, is the first of three 1971-ish Huddersfield town legends to be allegedly spotted in the audience. Grab him for your Xmas game of scrabble folks, he’ll score 34 before he’s even started. Testing the audience with an early bouncer, we go straight into the almighty Trumpton Riots. Moshpit already around fifteen. After one of the best concluding “err” echoes from the crowd ever, Nigel says something about James Blunt at Bernard Matthews’ funeral, which only later on, de-constructing and re-assembling the gig on the bus, we realise was probably the one about the caterwauling cavalryman being asked to sing “You’re Bootiful” at Matthews’ cremation.
By the way, apart from the order of the tracks, which is gospel according to Roger, I’m sticking in the banter fairly randomly wherever it seems to fit. No time for Paintball, 24-Hour Garage People or A Country Practice at this gig, so my stupid amnesia is not over-burdened with lyrical improvisations, hence more neurons available to recall banter. As Petty Sessions closes with its judicious despatch, Nigel admits he’s not too badly irritated by the Barmy Army as long as the series is going well. Now that’s what I call a curse! I assume, writing this with the series now level less than 3 days later, he is once again as narked as you can be by the Ingerlund crowd. But the great thing about the cricket all happening in the middle of the night, he reckons, is that it won’t go all ‘high street’ like a certain previous Ashes series. Same for the FIFA World Cup, Nigel says. Who wants it anyway? It’s better when it’s somewhere exotic in the middle of the night and Barry Davies has to commentate down a crackly phone line. I mean, don’t want the neighbours getting into it, do you? I second these emotions with a massive cheer because 3 days ago I am still getting irritating e-mails from “England 2018” thanking me for my support in “backing the bid”, even though when I wrote to them around 18 months ago, it was to express my strong objections to their plans.
With a dedication to the denizens of William Hills, but little in the way of National Hunt tips, we are then given a perfect rendition of the anthem for doomed punters that is Monmore Hare’s Running. Before the next track, Ken is doing some of his inordinate twiddling, which Nigel mocks with a few lines adapted from Lou Reed’s “The Kids”. The original goes: “They’re taking her children away/ because they said she was not a good mother/ They’re taking her children away/ etc.” but Nigel is singing “I’m taking his tuner away.”
Ken’s efforts are worthwhile though and things slow down with a splendid Xmas present for Mrs Exford, in fact Maud’s personal highlight of the evening, a comparatively rare outing for Dickie Davies Eyes. Ken’s grandfather is then used as the stooge in a convoluted lead-in to an attempted Rupert Brooke joke (see Cambridge review for how it should have worked, but “Stands the church clock at ten past three? I ordered tea at half past two” doesn’t rhyme half as well).
“It’s always heavy metal bands”, Nigel says about bands who Left Lyrics in Practice Room; “You drink too much Oranjeboom, your jaw juts out like (pause) Mart Poom” has now settled in very nicely. Apparently when Future Doom’s practice session ended last Monday, Nigel was discussing Christmas TV with lyricist Chris, and he recommends the BBC’s revival of the classic series “Upstairs Downstairs”. Don’t stand for it though, he tells us (as he told the postman this week too) if somebody tells you “it’s great to see the BBC bringing back their old costume dramas”, because this is the BBC bringing back an original ITV costume drama. He’s learned this the hard way himself. Nigel of course has intricate knowledge of the early 1970s episodes and points out that the one with the middle-aged butler Hudson courting the 17-year-old parlour maid was a bit weird. (And talking of Gordon Jackson, Pontius Pilate, etc, Blackwell later expresses some relief-tinged surprise that the Rotherham postie is not in the house).
Next it’s Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess, and then Bad Review. The Lyrics Project inmate known as Greasby Shark has been lurking at the front, waiting for this moment, closing in for the killer question. Which swimming baths was Nigel thinking of when he wrote about “the fearsome hollow boom of the older boys in the deep end?” It turns out that, like the Shark himself, Woodchurch pool was where Nigel did most of his swimming, though he did sometimes go to Guinea Gap in Seacombe, ‘cos you could float better in the salt water. And so could the sealions in a show he once saw there. “I saw Flipper there !” cries a eureka-moment-voice from over near the bar, as if for years now his therapist has been encouraging him to recover his memories of where this cetaceous nightmare took place.
“Probably the biggest celebrity ever to appear in Seacombe” speculates Blackwell. My own vivid memories come flooding back of the same dolphin show at these local baths in the early seventies, the dynamic cetacean leaping up to seize a fish from a beautiful assistant on the balcony just in front of me. The after show party is still a blur though. There is also some coverage for the antiquated changing arrangements at the Byrne Avenue baths, and the whole Wirral childhood swimming sketch somehow prompts Nigel to remember an erstwhile friend called something comic-book-like, maybe Tommy Triggs (probably not that though), who never gave him a promised present. Even a pack of jack straws would have done.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel is followed by the glorious Foot Up In Europe refrain and then Running Order Squabble Fest, after which “Geoff Hutt, ladies and gentlemen”, is the second Huddersfield Town legend spotted, at around ten on the clock but eleven from Nigel’s point of view.
1966 And All That. Brilliant as ever, reminding me that at least one daily paper’s website last week decried the FIFA numbskulls by printing a picture of an Ingerlund striker it called “Geoff Hunt” [sic] scoring his goal-that-shouldn’t-have-been at Wembley in 1966. Which seemed an odd rebuff to FIFA corruption. Then Restless Legs, after which Trevor Cherry is spotted on the balcony, making HTFC the only club I can remember to be honoured with such a hat-trick, and the balconies are then compared to a scene from The 39 Steps. We are reminded that 4 years ago there were still some of the old cinema seats at the back of the stalls, but no longer.
Uffington Wassail follows most wonderfully, and then Nigel proves once again that Climie Fisher is the only spontaneous request he’s inclined to assent to, though of course the rest of the band aren’t ready join in with this unlisted treasure. Ken initially shows some willingness to join in on the effects pedal, but it dies its customary death after 50 seconds.
“This is a song called Soft Verges“, teases Nigel, introducing Bob Wilson Anchor Man. I then had no idea what prompted Nigel’s extensive memories of the Horse of the Year Show from Olympia, name-checking at least 4 showjumping legends, but looking in Horse & Hounds on my data retrieval system just now (yes really), I realise of course it was discussed ‘cos it’s on telly this weekend.
San Antonio Foam Party is followed by feedback on a visit this afternoon to Huddersfield’s Piazza shopping centre, to the tune of Eleanor Rigby, words to the effect of:
“Dorothy Perkins, M&S, Boots, hum
bla bla hum bla bla
All the usual outlets, where do they all belong?”
Those weren’t the actual words of course. I wonder if they had a twirl on the ice rink in the piazza ?
Nigel strums and sings well over a minute of Gorky Zygotic Mynci’s “Patio Song” by way of introduction to Vatican Broadside, which is followed by National Shite Day and For What Is Chatteris? At one point when we haven’t had much banter for a while we get the traffic warden joke (see Preston review, but I was wrong then – it was the vicar not the gravedigger) and then Tommy Walsh’s Eco House. The lyrics seem to have set firmly now: “capturing the zeitgeist or widening the motorway”.
Everything’s AOR, and it’s good to see a mosh that’s been fifteen strong throughout the evening now swollen by the arrival of flocks of local shepherds and hovering around a healthy two dozen mark. The shepherds are relieved that All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit and put the sheep back in its box. “Tommy Triggs”, or whatever his name was, is again remembered with a bitter sigh. Perhaps he was the one of the gang who had Scalextric? If so, and you were banned from his house Nigel, it may explain why you never got the present. Still a shame about his sister Phyllis though.
We Built This Village on a Trad Arr Tune. Anyone see the evening of folk dance on BBC4 last Friday? Great stuff – no sword dance, but they did show a clip of the Coppers later on. Next up it’s Gubba Lookalikes, for which the delightful Victoria appears onstage to “add a touch of professionalism” and do the trumpety thing. As she basks in the applause afterwards, it seems highly appropriate that the next track is her beloved Joy Division Oven Gloves, for in 2005 it was I believe she who became the first Biscuitista to appear at a gig sporting a pair of her very own JDOG’s. Hallelujah!
As the band re-emerge for encores it seems that backstage debate about whether or not to cover Joy Division’s “New Dawn Fades” has not been entirely resolved, but being in a band is about compromise and negotiations and then letting the van driver have the last word, so it doesn’t happen. We can’t be too downcast however, as fairy lights on the drum kit and strip of tinsel on Nigel’s microphone stir memories of Christmas gigs past, and indicate that our hopes for some Christmas cheer are about to be realised. This prompts a couple of over-eager audience members to prematurely unleash their outsize balloons, left-overs from the office party perhaps. They are one whole track too early, for first we must enjoy the sunset over spectacular jagged peaks of Evening Of Swing, and only then are we allowed to puzzle over “Kate Bush and the ICF” appearing once again in It’s Clichéd to be Cynical at Christmas, which again features the fabulous Victoria on brass. Most of the band seem happy to get involved in some balloon football. And as it was to have been in the beginning at Durham, so shall it be at the end in Holmfirth. 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd was very much sabotaged by the poor sound at the last gig, so we are all delighted with its triumphant return.
When the less experienced gig-goers in the crowd linger on in the hope of further encores, the DJ disillusions them with a CD of classic 1976 Rainbow. No, unfortunately not the “Rainbow” with Bungle, Zippy and Geoffrey, but the one with Richie Blackmore, Cozy Powell, and Ronnie James Dio belting out that traditional Yuletide classic, “Stargazer”. At this hugely civilised venue the bar is still open, but we stagger out merrily singing. And we were singing:
“Where is your star? Is it far? Is it far? Is it faa-aa-aar?
…Time is standing still
He gave me back my will
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Going home
I’m going home.”
A gig that ensured our 2010 would end with a bang not a whimper, the hollow men stuffed with delight not cynicism.
[1] Investigating the origins of this Holmfirth street name on the interweb, I am distracted by clips from an appalling low-budget, possibly so-bad-it’s-almost-a-bit-good 1988 Slasher film called “The Hollow Gate” in which, when not being slashed, the many victims are savaged by a pair of very sweet-looking golden retrievers. Perhaps the chippy and the street upon which it stands were named after this classic ?
20 December 2010
Nik
Sorry for stealing your thunder, with regards to Flipper, Greavo. Must have been a formative experience for us both….
21 December 2010
Gregg Z
A dozen thanks to all who’ve posted live reviews. For those of us in countries only accessible from the UK by air, these reviews are indispensible.
I am endeavoring to travel to the Isles in 2011 to take in my first HMHB gig. Other than anything having to do with my wife, kids or my football team, attending a Biscuit gig would be a life-completing experience. (Hope that’s not putting too fine a point on matters.)
Having witnessed live James Brown, The Clash, Curtis Mayfield, The Fall and The Smiths, I could successfully die after an HMHB gig.
Fingers crossed.
And to all…Thy Salvation Slumbereth Not.
30 December 2010
Jim Goddard
Really enjoyed the Holmfirth gig. It’s the second time I’ve seen HMHB and they were excellent. I was surprised at how good some of the songs sound live. Since I come from Birkenhead, the local references struck a chord. It may be worth remembering that one ran a gauntlet, going to Woodchurch Baths, if one lived on the Noctorum Estate. I feel sad at not having witnessed Flipper, though. At that age, I’d have loved it.
I don’t really do music any more, life is too short; but HMHB are an exception. I can’t really add anything to the excellent reviews provided above so I’ll leave it there.
2 January 2011
Narberther
Is ‘Flipper’ (mentioned above) the band or the dolphin?
11 January 2011
Gregg Z
Just got word (via email from Geoff Davis) of a newly-booked gig at The Auditorium, Leicester on 28 April.
Enjoy.
11 January 2011
Gregg Z
Gregg Z
Just got word (via email from Geoff Davis) of a newly-booked gig at The Auditorium, Leicester on 28 April.
Enjoy.
13 January 2011
BrumBiscuit
That’s the day before the parasites get hitched, which is a holiday, so a good excuse to have a good post-gig skinful, then to wake up the next day when it’s all over…
Enjoy…
14 January 2011
BrumBiscuit
Nothing like striking whilst the iron’s hot. The Leicester Travelodge has family rooms that fit 3 adults for £19 at the moment. Just booked mine!
Now, I just need to sort out a decent boozer & curry house…
14 January 2011
Gregg Z
Just now arriving at the bitter realisation I won’t be traveling over there for the Feb or April gigs. Something about wife and kids and real life, etc
Perhaps the summer.
I can’t get my head around how this group makes me lose perspective on all else.
Unless NYC and Johannesburg appear on the “fixture list” sometime soon, looks like Bobby String and I will be on the short end.
17 January 2011