Much delayed, finally the last of the postponed gigs from the past two years. A rare visit (the first for 15 years, in fact) to a town that – unusually – gets an entry in the A to Z. How was it for you?
Much delayed, finally the last of the postponed gigs from the past two years. A rare visit (the first for 15 years, in fact) to a town that – unusually – gets an entry in the A to Z. How was it for you?
Longtime luRker
Bloomin’ great actually! Can’t beat a local gig from the boys.
7 October 2022
Chris The Siteowner
Some of the names checked in GGUL: https://twitter.com/dailyhmhblyrics/status/1578502916511789056
7 October 2022
TwistedKiteMike
He also gave us…………..
Nick Ferrari
Alan Carr
James Martin
Saturday Cookery Shows in general
Andy Peters
Esther McVey
A Rickety Chair
Lionel Blair
Another fine evening. What more can you say about four guys who just keep giving the people what they want?
Anyway, Roger will have a full account of proceedings in due course. He’s a dedicated purveyor of vital information.
In the meantime, here’s the running order:
Lilac HQ
Fred T
Irk
Batwalk
Evening Sun
Awkward Sean
Look Dad
Chatteris
Big Man Up Front
Clocked On
Dean F
When I Look At My Baby
Broadstairs
Vatican
URC
DPAK
NSD
Floreat
Midnight Mass Murder
Bell Rings
Trumpton
Oblong
Trad Arr Tune
Light Tunnel
AOR
………………………………….
Time Flies By
God Gave Us Life
Ceremony (New Order)
JDOG
Roll on to the land of the carrot crunchers. Probably won’t wear the ITFC Reserve kit.
Mike……………………..
8 October 2022
Bad loser
One adjustment Mike. We had Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite instead of Clocked On.
8 October 2022
Hendrix-tattoo
Without doubt the best gig so far this year for me.
But Phyllis Triggs tells me I say that after every gig…😃
8 October 2022
TRANSIT FULL OF keith
I first heard Improv Workshop in Worthing, before I had the Leaden Pall CD. I guess they must save it for the seaside gigs. Sounds like it was a great night…
8 October 2022
Mate of the mate of the bloke
What was the tune they came on to? A TV theme I think? From long before my time.
8 October 2022
Bernardo soares
@7
It was the theme from the Rockford Files
8 October 2022
Bernardo soares
They also introduced ‘Vatican Broadside’ with the final verse of George Formby’s ‘In My Little Snapshot Album’
“And I’ve got a picture of a nudist camp, in my little snapshot album,
All very jolly but a trifle damp, in my little snapshot album.
There’s Uncle Dick without a care, discarding all his underwear,
But his watch and chain still dangle there, in my little snapshot album.”
Nigel Blackwell singing George Formby in Blackpool on a very rainy Friday night in October. It was a brilliant moment.
8 October 2022
99%
Absolutely cracking gig in plush surroundings. Well worth missing a Coventry City home game for
8 October 2022
dr desperate
Re: Ceremony being a Joy Division song – I knew there was a reason for me doing the Curtis dance (usually employed during ‘JDOGs’)!
8 October 2022
dr desperate
(Just out of shot in this video.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW_aIh-zxt8
8 October 2022
dic aberdaron
boss gig that.. lovely drum sound too..
and what a great crowd
see ya’s in the welly
8 October 2022
Mike longfellow
Wasn’t it Neil who sang the George Formby verse before VB?
8 October 2022
dr desperate
I think Neil sang a verse of ‘The Green Leaves of Summer’, or similar.
8 October 2022
Bad loser
I last set foot in Blackpool in 2006. My memory told me not to arrive too early. The passing years look to have been unkind: to Blackpool as well as myself.
An extremely large eat-in chips and curry for £3.90 set us up nicely. Should’ve expected the huge portion up north and on the coast.
The Winter Gardens didn’t look too promising from the outside but having watched darts from there it was obvious there was going to be more than meets the eye. So it proved. The ‘Arena’ was impressive and the capacity must be amongst the largest that the band play to.
The stage was quite narrow and well lit. The sound was the best for some time and I left without and buzzing in the ears despite several warnings from my watch about the loud environment.
A great setlist, of course, with them not even finding room for Bob Wilson and Terminus. Nigel made reference to Corrie’s Alan Bradley, last seen glancing off the front of a Blackpool tram before reeling off details of both his on, and off, screen relations. The Don & Ivy Brennan gag made a reappearance: I still laughed.
Neil spotted my wife as he walked across the venue so was fortunate to have a decent chat with him. Told him I wasn’t overly looking forward to the long drive to Norwich and he suggested they won’t be too far away again at some point next year. From what he was saying, my guess would be a return to Cambridge but not sure they’ve even started to work on that yet.
8 October 2022
Alastair
The sound was great down the front – as I eventually discovered – but starting out near the back was a very different story. The domed ceiling and complete lack of any sound correction (the venue, not the band or the live engineers, obviously) created a massive bass trap that muddied the mix and left the between songs chat incomprehensible, sadly.
8 October 2022
Mark Griffiths
Great gig, however have to agree with Alistair regarding the sound,which spoiled it for a first time biscuiteers whom I had dragged along for the experience.
There was 1 in the gang(don’t know if he had scalextric) who literally a minute before walk on predicted the Rockford files!!,have asked him for tonight’s lottery numbers.
8 October 2022
Robbo’s Viva
Lovely night.
Finally, Fiona Bruce gets called out on her nonsense.
Listening to Big Man live, it sounded like Nigel was definitely singing ‘Georgian maid’, presumably referring to the country, rather than the hisorical period.
Or maybe I’m just cloth eared.
8 October 2022
Mr Ed
Another cracking effort, met up with the usual crowd for a beer or two beforehand, then saw JD do a great job and then a fantastic set by HMHB, ending with have a word with Karl afterwards, top man. Then off to find a bar, chat with JD as he went past, and ended up getting back to the hotel at 4am. 3 hour drive back to Nottingham. Roll on the next one.
8 October 2022
Ken’s Long back
Excellent set with a memorable encore. Loved the George Formby intro to VB and hearing Improv Workshop by the seaside.
Kudos to the bloke with the bat!
Onwards to Norwich!
9 October 2022
Chris The Siteowner
Roger Green’s review, originally published on Gez’s site and reproduced with acknowledgement.
The first tenuous HMHB link came a couple of days after September’s Birmingham gig. On 6 Music, Mark Radcliffe mentioned Jan Akkerman. I didn’t realise he had left Focus, either voluntarily or otherwise. But that would explain his presence in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Focus.
Karen came up with some interesting celebrity trivia when trawling the internet. She was looking for Famous People Born In Blackpool. Robert Smith was on the list. Yes, Robert Smith of The Cure. Seemingly the family moved to Crawley when he was very young. May we be treated to a cover of ‘A Forest’ tonight?
One did not want to be particularly irreverent during such a monumental occasion. But the pipers leading the coffin at The Queen’s funeral struck up The Skye Boat Song. We each raised an eyebrow. It needed Neil’s vocal and/or whistling, as featured at the beginning of Awkward Sean.
As is often the case, these shows are announced well in advance. For example, The Liquid Room in Edinburgh. On sale in September 2022 for a gig in May 2023. All good stuff, and Karen as ever was quick on the draw. But some of these add-on fees… Tsk…
Italy played England in a match in football’s Nations Cup competition. We noticed an advert for Voltarol going round on the electronic advertising board surrounding the pitch. “The joy of movement” was the strapline. I’ll confirm that if/when I require the product.
Bothies tend not to be particularly newsworthy. You have to refer to the HMHB back catalogue if you want to hear them mentioned (Tommy Walsh’s Eco House). But more recently there was an article (22 to 28 August issue) in Big Issue North. I would never have guessed that there is a Mountain Bothies Association. And they have a Bothy Code, so go steady if you are calling by. No mention of The Knoydart though.
“Chatteris – the town to be scrapped from the bus route map” Thus ran the headline on a BBC website article. For what are Chatteris bus stops?
In early September, Stuart Maconie put out a call for suggestions for content for a Spoken Word edition of his Freak Zone programme on 6 Music. Karen mentally rifled through the HMHB music box and put in three suggestions. Any one of Used To Be In Evil Gazebo and/or Tour Jacket With Detachable Sleeves and/or Footprints. Stuart chose the latter. Most will agree that this band does not get enough airplay, so one tiny morsel will have to do for now.
About 6.30am on 6 Music on the morning before this gig, with it being National Poetry Day, Chris Hawkins played Dynamite And Feathers, a piece by PJ Smith aka Roy. At such an early hour, I thought I might have dreamt this, but was glad to see John confirming that he had been listening as well. All well and good, but it sounded to me like PJ had half-inched a fair chunk of Twenty-Four Hour Garage People. With particular reference to the Pringles, scotch eggs and jar of Marmite. I hope, at the very least, there is an acknowledgement somewhere for HMHB. Too much of a coincidence? Sampling in music is here, there and everywhere these days. Can’t remember ever seeing it in poetry though.
The Guardian produced a chart, listing their Greatest 100 BBC Musical Performances – Ranked. HMHB were in with a bullet at 52 with their first session for John Peel’s programme in 1985. Not sure why the appearance on The Old Grey Whistle Test didn’t get in. The Trumpton Riots and All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit, with Nigel in his Ajax shirt, and Neil looking about twelve years old. I would agree with the high rating for Bob Marley And The Wailers’ debut on The Old Grey Whistle Test (Number 3 in the chart) and their rendition of Stir It Up. Always happy to look that up on the web. Had the band perhaps been out for a little smoke before they started filming? I had a query with the paper’s idea that The Fall were “Peel’s favourite band”. I beg to differ. Surely that would be Captain Beefheart? I’ve got a cassette somewhere of the all-time Festive 50 which was compiled from listeners’ votes. Beefheart’s Big Eyed Beans From Venus appeared, after which Peel said “There was none finer. Not even The Fall.”
Big Ups to Tracy Brabin, mayor of West Yorkshire, for implementing a £2 bus journey policy. That got us into Wakefield. From there it was a train into Leeds and another one to Blackpool. It was a great pleasure to be sharing a carriage with a bunch of heavy drinkers. Stag parties take a familiar form. Riga must have been out of their range.
Having arrived in town we headed to Nando’s for some traditional seaside grub. On the way there, the first Biscuiteer we saw was Steve, on his lonesome at Costa. We waved through the window and later admired his photo on Facebook of the tower. We wandered around the outside of Winter Gardens, trying to work out where the entrance might be for the HMHB show. Plenty of other stuff going on in plenty of rooms. War Horse: The Concert, for example. Nigel would refer to this later.
We then saw Postman Tony on his way to his digs. He gave us a pointer to where the gig might be. At the back of the building? That sounded about right, totally out of public view.
The paper review just took in The Blackpool Gazette. No What’s On guide. The front page had a headline “School Breakfasts Under Health Review” with a picture of a dream plate. Three sausages, two fried eggs, bacon, two black puddings, two hash browns, pile of mushrooms, fried tomatoes, baked beans and some toast and marmalade. What can possibly be wrong with that? And the back page had some Blackpool FC news, with manager Michael Appleton raving about Charlie Patino, on loan from Arsenal. The nearest the paper got to music news was a feature on The Grumbleweeds. A prototype HMHB or what?
We were promptly on our way, with an eye on getting to the front of the queue. But we were beaten to it by Tony, Andrew, Phil and Alison. Alison told us how her first visit to this place had been in the sixties. Mike And Bernie Winters were at the top of the bill. She couldn’t remember whether it was The Seekers or Peter, Paul And Mary supporting them. And if she had been there a week later, she could have seen The Beatles.
Inside, on my way back from the bar, I got talking to Drew and Chris. There was plenty of speculation about possible gigs to go in the diary. We shall see what we shall see. Lee turned up. No longer Lee from Rotherham, he is now Lee from Scunthorpe. He was with Louise, at her first HMHB gig. Good to see that Lee still has the Denis Bell / Torquay gear. I asked him if Scunthorpe Baths still hosts gigs, having seen The Damned there many years ago. Potential for a HMHB gig?
Next to show up was John. He was with Thorsten, who had flown in from Germany for his first HMHB show since 2019. Also appearing as the evening went on were Elizabeth, Postman Tony, Steve, Ian, Howie, Daz and Lou, all in time for the arrival of JD Meatyard.
JD was on his own tonight. No backing band, although he was accompanied on stage at various times by a photographer. I recognised the opening song, Ubu At Eric’s, and Karen spotted Casper’s Ballroom. All or most of his set was new stuff, with one or two familiar references (“Sister Ray” and “All Tomorrow’s Parties”, with another one talking about “ripping it up and starting again”). He has a new album out, which I believe he was also promoting the previous night. JD said it was “a joy to be on the same bill as HMHB” and his departing message was “love everybody or shut the fuck up”.
Graham and Sarah, Ian, Andy (with his “Get Turmeric” tshirt) and Graham Le Taxi arrived. I also noted John’s t-shirt (“Hank & Roy & Bill”). Like us and many others, Andy’s travel arrangements had been affected by the weekend’s train strike. He had been able to borrow a company van but was having to return it by 11 o’clock on the Saturday morning. Foot down then. Hello also to Mr and Mrs Exford, who were in the middle of a keen mosh pit for much of HMHB’s set.
HMHB were heralded by the playing of the theme to The Rockford Files. I knew it from somewhere, but it was identified by Andrew. Brian tapped me on the shoulder to say that this is also Tranmere Rovers’ walk-on music.
“Are you alright for bags?” then “OK, Carl?” was the prompt for the opening song, A Lilac Harry Quinn. Plain shirts all round for the band, except for Karl’s Hawkwind t-shirt. There were some bright lights at the front of the stage. I could have positioned myself better; the price of standing at the front was having to shield my eyes. Nigel made the most of the lighting by making shadow puppets. I couldn’t comment either way on their quality.
Nigel apologised to anyone who had turned up expecting to see War Horse, noting that it was available “over there” in one of the other rooms. He had thought about joining in, playing Dusty Carpet, the racehorse which has never been beaten.
We noted that Karl was playing his new red Telecaster guitar. However, he changed back to his older green model part way through the show. Still bedding it in?
The instruction in Renfield’s Afoot was “for those remotely interested” to meet in the café car park. Nigel spoke about the cost of Blackpool’s illuminations. It reminded him of their old gas meter at home. His dad wound the meter back so far that the reading came up in Roman numerals.
Neil sang a few lines of The Green Leaves Of Summer before the band played Awkward Sean. Nigel asked if anyone had been to the Alan Bradley Memorial, being a Coronation Street character who met a grim ending in Blackpool. The character had been played by Mark Eden, who was married in real life to the actress Sue Nichols, who, of course, plays Audrey (and was in Rentaghost – never a favourite programme in the Blackwell household). This provided a link to this old one from Nigel. “What’s got three legs and likes fish and chips? Don and Ivy Brennan.” There was talk about Rhyl, and Nigel’s mum moving there to clean sheets. Sorry, didn’t grasp the full extent of the exchange.
Caroline Lucas was spotted in the crowd. “Any time this year with that wheelbarrow, Caroline.” He added that Caroline owns the skeleton of Fatty Arbuckle. I’ll look back through these notes some time. I’m sure he said someone else owned that previously. Huddersfield Graham said that Neil was wearing two watches. Hard to tell from such a distance, but it might have been a watch and a wristband.
Karl was changing his guitar while the rest of the band started When I Look At My Baby. It was an audience takeover with the vocals. Nigel turned his mike round. At the end of the song he said “Thank you. Thank YOU. We should try and do that more often.”
There was some jockey talk. Yves Saint-Martin, Terry Biddlecombe and Scobie Breasley all got a mention. On the theme of horses, we also had Nigel’s impersonation of the starter at the Grand National. Worth the admission money alone. And it would have been rude to not include some George Formby here. Nigel gave us a fair blast of In My Little Snapshot Album.
We were in Blackpool and it had to happen sooner or later. Postman Tony’s shout of “Stanley Mortensen” was to be expected at the end of 1966 And All That. In the absence of that song, he just shouted it anyway. In reply, Nigel purred about a goal that Blackpool’s Mickey Walsh scored against Scunthorpe, with, I’m sure he said, commentary from Barry Davies. Walsh had a colleague running in the middle of the field. “That’s the ball,” suggested Barry, before Walsh turned and lashed the ball into the goal. “Which,” explained Nigel, “leads us nicely into this…” All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit followed. The £3.10 for the transformer was said to be expensive in the days of Mickey Walsh, “but it meant a second mortgage in the days of Stanley Mortensen.” The mention of Mortensen made me wonder about something fundamental to this song. Nigel is the same age as me and will remember the change from the old pounds-shillings-and-pence currency to the current decimalised system. So, therefore does the transformer cost Three Pounds And Ten Pence as we currently know it? Or was it Three Pounds And Ten Shillings under the old system. I’ll check with Nigel the next time I catch him.
Fiona Bruce was spotted. “Much as it pains me, you are not the answer on Question Time,” said Nigel. “It should be Victoria Derbyshire or Martine Croxall instead.” Karl played a snippet of Jethro Tull’s Aqualung… Seemingly Ian Anderson from that band also wrote “Moulinex makes things simple, and that includes the price.”
“Anyone here from Gosport?” asked Nigel. When someone said yes, he followed up with “Which part?” and got them stumped. West Gosport was offered up eventually. He turned to Carl, and said “Told you.”.
“I’ve got nothing to do with the start of this one,” said Nigel ahead of Every Time A Bell Rings, thereby firing the others into action. This song also had Nigel quoting from the film. “Do you know me? Do you know me, Bert?”. And he played his guitar behind his head, Hendrixesque. Not sure whether or not Hendrix’s guitar lead unplugged itself when he was doing this. But Blackwell’s certainly did. That’s showbiz. There seemed to be a bit of confusion within the band at the start of Oblong Of Dreams, but it all came together magnificently in the end. Harking back to John Peel, no doubts that this one would have scored highly in this year’s Festive Fifty. Same goes for Midnight Mass Murder, as near as you are going to get to being on a football terrace without, you know, being on a football terrace. At the end of which, Nigel confirmed it as a “true story”.
“Michael Morpurgo, ladies and gentlemen!” announced Nigel, pointing towards the back of the hall. Maybe he was taking a break from his own creation, War Horse. John asked if Nigel knew who the drummer in Focus was. “The one with the sticks” was the reply.
When the band returned for the encore, Nigel realised he had forgotten something. He beat a hasty retreat and returned with his trusty caravan guitar. He tested it out and said, “Sounds good to me.” Nice lyric work and nice footwork during God Gave Us Life, with Nigel side shuffling across the stage. “God gave us life so that we can get driven to the woods to sing the wrong verse entirely.” Those given to us tonight were Nick Ferrari, Alan Carr, James Martin, Saturday cookery shows in general, Andi Peters, Esther McVey, a rickety chair, and also Lionel Blair. Finished off with a “bless you”.
Ceremony was played. We discussed this song. Is it Joy Division or New Order? Or both? Ian Curtis wrote the words, so does that make it Joy Division? But New Order had the hit. Whatever.
Here is what was played by HMHB:
A Lilac Harry Quinn
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus
Irk The Purists
Renfield’s Afoot
When The Evening Sun Goes Down
Awkward Sean
Look Dad No Tunes
For What Is Chatteris?
Big Man Up Front
Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite
The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
When I Look At My Baby
She’s In Broadstairs
Vatican Broadside
Persian Rug Sale At The URC
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
National Shite Day
Floreat Inertia
Midnight Mass Murder
Every Time A Bell Rings
The Trumpton Riots
Oblong Of Dreams
We Built This Village On A Trad Arr Tune
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train
Everything’s AOR
And then in the encore:
Time Flies By (When You’re A Driver Of A Train)
God Gave Us Life
Ceremony
Joy Division Oven Gloves
At one point, Nigel said that everyone in the band was working to a different set list. He wasn’t joking according to the audit of Karl’s list. Paintball’s Coming Home was due to be played after Dean Friedman but was replaced by When I Look At My Baby. Fix It So She Dreams Of Me was dropped – having originally been placed between Dukla Prague and National Shite Day. There is a note on Karl’s list which says “Village Maybe”. Time Flies By was a late addition.
When he left the stage, Nigel wore a rabbit mask whilst pipping a car horn. There must be some deeper meaning.
There were a few Hellos after the band had finished. Pete from Weston Super Mare, telling me about an oil rig masquerading as an art installation on their sea front. And nice to meet Kate who said a quick Hi. Hope her brother, Bob, has a speedy recovery.
With this being the last of the Covid re-arrangements (originally October 2020, then put back twelve months, then put back another twelve months), can we finally, finally say that normality has returned?
Back at our bijou lodgings (Premier Inn) we caught a bit of Country Music At The BBC. A couple of Biscuit Influencers were in there. Shania Twain’s That Don’t Impress Me Much (“so, you’re Brad Friedel?”) and Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues (“I shot a man in Tesco…”).
A number of options were available the night after this show. A few folk were going to see The Undertones in Lytham. If we had known in advance we might have stopped in Blackpool and gone to see Biteback. I told Hocky this when I saw him as we were all being shoved out of the door. Instead, Karen and I opted for a lift home off Andrew early on the Saturday. He has a miniature library of music at his fingertips in his motor. There is a fair bit of German music in his collection. It’s a few years since I have heard Freiwillige Selbstkontrolle. And I would never have known that Puff The Magic Dragon was covered as Paff, Der Zauberdrachen by Marlene Dietrich.
A mention for Brian. He has been caught out by the sell-out of the Norwich gig. He said he would be happy to buy from anybody who has a spare. Like with me, IT stuff does not come naturally to him, but if you post a message somewhere out in Internetland, then he might see it. Hope to catch you there, Brian.
9 October 2022
Golden biscuit winner
any have any insider tips on the February/April fixtures?
9 October 2022
dr desperate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5GSAQMmyv8
9 October 2022
Paul F
I believe Ian Anderson went to school in Blackpool.
9 October 2022
JITSU_G
Great review as ever Roger. After a bit of post gig googling we discovered there is indeed a blue plaque commemorating Alan Bradley being hit by a tram. It was unveiled by Mark Eden (who played AB) on the 20th anniversary of the incident being broadcast. Well worth the walk along the sea front to visit it.
The Undertones the following night in Lytham were great too.
9 October 2022
D list paul ross
Faintly amused after the Rockford Files news to see James Garner making his debut for Everton today. Probably not a PBR.
9 October 2022
Geezar
Sorry, but as a Tranmere supporter the walk on music wasn’t the Rockford files. I recognise it but can’t recall the show other than it was a local Granada football programme in late 70s early 80s.
10 October 2022
dic aberdaron
biteback/biccies/lurkers supergroup that played for 1 night only in blackpool was the stuff of legend
10 October 2022
warden Hodges
Wasn’t there so can’t say first hand but would it be Kick Off?
Hosted by Elton Welsby of course.(with sidekick Denis Law).
10 October 2022
EXXO
It was the Rockford Files, from someone who was there, and was at Prenton the first time it was ever played there on a Friday night, and many times since. Can’t see much similarity with the Jim Monkman stuff for ‘Kick Off,’ but then I’ve been to Rebellion so I can understand how appalling the sound can be in those rooms.
10 October 2022
EXXO
Francis Monkman, even.
10 October 2022
Professor Abelazar Woozle
Regarding Roger’s comment on NB exiting the stage with a rabbit mask and sounding a car horn, could that be a Wicker Man parody? I’m thinking of the procession scene in the film where the brass band were all wearing animal masks.
10 October 2022
BOBBY SVARC
@DIC: Marti Pellow was great too, tickets were only fifty quid.
10 October 2022
dic aberdaron
live @ stafford house hotel
woodfield rd didn’t know what hit em..
totally recommend anyone to stay there. top ppl
10 October 2022
Phyllis Triggs
Prior to this year I’ve always hated Blackpool. Apart from a good day at the Pleasure Beach where I screamed so much I lost my voice, Blackpool experiences have always been negative: the shit student Christmas Do at a shit Blackpool Hotel with shit food; the begrudging trip to see the Illuminations at the behest of our visitors’ kids (I told them it would be shit, but would they listen?) – after sitting in gridlocked traffic for hours we abandoned the car in a carpark miles from anywhere and trudged towards the Tower. Dutifully we headed along the Prom, braving the drunken battalions of stags and hens, picking our way through the rubbish and the dog shit and the vomit, past the vending machines selling tacky lace ‘playsuits’ and other ‘novelty’ items which caught the kids’ attention, “What’s one of those Daddy?”, gruffly came the reply, “Ask your Mother..” Hunger eventually forced us into a shit cafe where we ate shit chips with shit tomato sauce. Never again. Even the kids thought it was shit.
This Summer however, I was drawn back by the incredible line up at Rebellion Festival: Undertones, Buzzcocks, Stranglers, Stiff Little Fingers, Skids, Toyah, Jilted John, Lovely Eggs, Levellers, Ferocious Dog, Gary Numan, Peter Hook, Billy Bragg… Four days every August sees Blackpool bristling with brightly coloured mohawks as punks flock together to enjoy Rebellion Festival – perhaps THE major event in the punk diary. I’m sure John and Graham – fellow Biscuiteers and Rebellion attendees – will join me in recommending this event to any music fan. An extremely friendly and good-natured crowd, proper local ale from Cockerham’s Farmyard Brewery, the best queuing system I’ve seen at any festival – never had to wait long for a drink (Highest Point Fest take note) and to top it all, the sun shone for the entire 4 days. And now, just 2 months later, I’m back to see the best band that wasn’t in Rebellion’s line-up. With the HMHB experience about to be thrown into the memory bank, Blackpool, purely by association, is in danger of becoming one of my favourite places.
Our arrival in town didn’t make for the most favourable start to the trip: failing to find the carpark and taking a wrong turn up a one way street, following the tramlines – but the locals proved friendly; as we executed a hasty u-turn an elderly chap shouted out “We’ve all been there mate!” Yeah, right, ok…
After checking in to the hotel and enjoying a restorative brew we headed out into the sunshine and across to the North Pier for ice-cream and a stroll along the Prom. My caramel ice-cream was delicious but extremely soft – perhaps the kiosk had altered its freezer settings to save on mounting costs – and an almighty tussle ensued involving the sea breeze, the melting ice-cream and my hair… Managing to secure the hair behind my sunglasses I leant on the railings to enjoy what’s left of the ice-cream and to take in the view. Simple pleasures. The receding tide had provided the perfect canvas for the expression of creative talent. Writ large on the freshly washed sand, someone has spelled out the word C U N T. Splendid!
Onward to the Comedy Carpet (Shag Pile? Oo – er Missus!!) Here we bump into Graham who is showing Sarah and Elizabeth the site of R Festival (the outdoor branch of Rebellion). This time I have a chance to read the quotes – during Punk Fest it was used as a seating and eating area for the colourfully coiffed clientele (Beautiful plumage!). I love the Comedy Carpet. Every which way you turn there’s sitcoms, Carry Ons, Pythons… Every step’s beset by catchphrases and scenes from sketches – comedy hopscotch.
Further along the Prom they’ve found plenty of space for their Installations. I had to Google the tall black bendy balloon things to find out they represent Dune Grass. Google also informs that those pipes emerging vertically out of the Prom – despite the elegance of their slight curvature – are not in fact Art, but are part of a United Utilities pumping station.
Having soaked up some Culture it was now time to soak up some beer. We walked up to The Brew Room where we received a friendly welcome. It’s a good sized establishment serving its own ale and several other guest beers. It has the feel of a proper traditional pub. Across the road is a totally different type of establishment – possibly a Karaoke bar. Outside, having a smoke, stood one of its punters – a man wearing a denim mini skirt. Like the Comedy Carpet, Blackpool’s entertainment offerings are a right hotch-potch. Convivial as The Brew Room is, we just stayed for the one, as I wanted to try The Craft and Tap before getting some food. Walking back past the Karaoke Bar, we were broadsided by Why Why Why Delilah belting out of its open doors.
The Craft And Tap is less than a quarter the size of The Brew Room but has more than four times the number of beers. Faced with an overwhelming choice of beers I have to force myself to plump for one – any one. I end up with a third of a pint of something tropical and eminently quaffable. We join journalist Steve and Biscuiteer Martin at their table. Several Neil lookalikes are spotted in the room and a JD Meatyard notactuallyalikeatall was stood by the door. Steve was perplexed as to the whereabouts of the Alan Bradley Memorial Statue as referenced to him by Nigel himself. Did it even exist or was Nigel just having him on? Subsequent research suggests the latter, although there is an Alan Bradley Blue Plaque on the Strand Hotel. Steve, is it possible that Nigel used the word ‘memorial’ and you yourself supplied the word ‘statue’?
Off to the West Coast Rock Cafe for a burger and a burrito. The food was fine but it was disappointing that despite the advertising which drew us in: ‘Real Ales From Our Own Brewery’ ie. The Brew Room, they had no ales at all. Consoled myself with a bottle of Desperados and a tequila.
As a post prandial and pre gig energizer we took a walk along the Prom to see the Illuminations. Maybe we didn’t walk far enough, for while the section that we saw was very pretty it wasn’t how I’d remembered Blackpool Lights to be. This was tasteful rainbow prismatic geometry. Where was Thomas The Tank Engine? Where was Sponge Bob Square Pants? Street vendors were selling glowsticks, light-up headwear and other bits of flashing plastic tat. (Is it for this we’re destroying the Earth?) I’d only just half formed the idea of buying a few of these to take into the gig when a sudden onslaught of weather hit the Prom (an Almighty judgement?) – rain hurled so hard it hit like hail. We scampered down a side street – scant safety but at least we were out of the full blast – and hastened to the gig.
Arrived in plenty of time to see JD Meatyard as the support act. Its been a while. This time he was sans band, sans hat, and with mostly new songs. As always, it was great to see him but I did miss the righteous rage of some of his more familiar material. I guess its difficult having only a short slot as support act – he can’t just play the old favourites when he’s wanting to get new stuff out there. Standing On The Shoulders Of Better Men tho, how could he not play that!
Despite the band storming in with A Lilac Harry Quinn, Fred Titmus, Irk The Purists, Renfield, the crowd looked set to remain fairly staid. At first there only seemed to be me and the Exfords moving at all. Mrs Exford soon put paid to that, drawing in likely looking reinforcements and then flinging herself around like a pinball to build up enough kinetic energy to kick off the mosh. I weathered it until the opening salvo of National Shite Day – my cue to duck out and reach calmer waters. But what a fine effort. Once it had started the moshing was continual – all credit to Mrs Exford for that!
The sound, unusually for an HMHB gig, was fantastic – at least from where I was down the front. I could hear every word. Often the vocals are indistinct and Nigel’s witticisms lost, but not this time. Sorry to find out this wasn’t the case for those standing further back. At least they could enjoy the light show.
Alan Bradley cropped up again and general Coronation Street chat revolving around characters from the Bradley era (or reign of terror as some would have it). This was a soap character who was killed off in 1989. All of 33 years ago. Yet listening to these perambulations is a bit like walking across the Comedy Carpet. This is the stuff that made us. And it’s pure Nigel. Fatty Arbuckle! I only know about him because he was one of my Nana’s favourite references when talking about fat people.
Great to hear some relative rarities – Improv Mimeshow Gobshite and God Gave Us Life. Persian Rug Sale At The URC was a joy to hear live (I bear no grudge against the song that for reasons inexplicable I failed to pick for The Birmingham Fixture of FBL.) Was a bit disappointed that they didn’t play In A Suffolk Ditch as its one of my current favourites and what with all the coverage of recent Royal events it’s become a bit of an ear worm, “She’ll never see Nicholas Witchell ever again!”
I didn’t see any oven gloves but apparently there were a couple of pairs. Someone had brought in some toy bats (the winged variety, not the cricket ones) and an attempt to unleash them was made during Renfield – certainly, one was thrown but I don’t know if it made it onto the stage. As gig accessories go, I think this one offers possibilities. The vision of bats fluttering overhead during Renfield’s Afoot is most appealing. I’m working on it…
And talking of accessories – Roger’s already mentioned the rabbit mask. I had hoped he would have been able to elucidate further but unfortunately not. The Youtube video of the encore has captured it. Before leaving the stage Nigel gets a rabbit mask out of a carrier bag, puts it on, walks purposefully to the front of the stage, honks a bike horn at the audience and then leaves. Bit of improv. workshop mimeshow perhaps? Bizarre!
After the gig we head back to the Brew Room. Passing the Karaoke Bar we are accosted by a drag queen: Bet Lynch hair towers over us courtesy of vertiginous iridescent spiked heel boots. We turn down her offer, “No, we won’t be joining you tonight, we’re off across the road…” then, by way of placation I feel the need to add “But I do like your boots!” “Amazon, love” she shouts after us, “Cheap n cheerful!”
In The Brew Room I get stuck in to some much needed refreshment – a pint of Sunset Ale from Morecambe’s fine Cross Bay Brewery. Several other Biscuiteers wander in – among them a chap from Edinburgh who’d flown in from Berlin – all of them grinning and buzzing from the gig. Someone remarks, “They never disappoint!” Damn right!
Back to the hotel for a brew and bed. Going over the events of the evening, I remembered at the end of the gig Tony saying it was the best gig of the year and me telling him that he always says that after every gig. But he’s right isn’t he? It always is.
10 October 2022
dr desperate
Tremendous reviews there, Roger and Phyllis! Little to add, except that on the drive into Blackpool we spotted posters featuring the town’s new spokesbird, an animated seagull (voiced on telly ads by Johnny Vegas) called Nigel C. Gull. One of the amusement arcades sported a ride-on model of the Trumpton fire engine, including its aerial work platform (elevate!) – excellent value for £1. And don’t worry, @Phyllis, the Illuminations haven’t done away with SpongeBob.
JD played another blinding set, heavy on material from the new album, though my partner thought his vocals a bit louder than strictly necessary. Similarly his guitar-hammering, which led to severe blistering of his plectrumless fingers. His sign-off “Love everybody or shut the fu*k up” combined two quotes from his favourite comedian, Bill Hicks.
Props props must go to Lee for his life-sized bat, narrowly beating Nigel’s – I think – hare mask*. I didn’t know Lee was now based in Scunthorpe, our nearest conurbation. (The Baths Hall does indeed still put on gigs, @Roger, with a standing/balcony seating capacity of 1800, more than Norwich Waterfront and the Welly combined. In more Scunny news, that Mickey Walsh goal for the Seasiders was against Sunderland, not the Iron.)
*It may well be that Nigel’s mask was another Wicker Man reference, as there are at least two scenes in the original film in which a villager wears one. If he brings it out again, I intend to shout “Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!” (see [1:07] here).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGLCpdna638
On to Norwich!
11 October 2022
eric t’viking
Just a few odds and sods from Blackpool I don’t think anyone else has mentioned:
Sound was fine where I was, stationed fairly near the front on the same side as the bar, near where a purple-haired lady in a wheelchair looked like she was thoroughly enjoying the gig, as was the somewhat portly security chap in charge of access to what turned out was not the Gents. Despite the large signage above, access to these facilities was denied to hopeful trekkers looking for relief, as that door was being used as back stage access for the performers and technicians. A venue worker did come and helpfully stick some gaffer tape over the lower of the two Gents signs, but to little avail as the larger one above was still visible. Like moths, the hopeful were attracted, but sadly refused entrance, ultimately resulting in more u-turns than Liz Truss has had… u-turns (so far anyway).
For quite a while what appeared to be sound technician types went back and forth between JD Meatyard exiting and the band appearing; maybe there was some technical issue for what seemed like rather a long pause in proceedings…?
I had wondered whether the waving of oven gloves was dying out, but no, at least a couple of pairs were waved enthusiastically. And respect to the chap with the bat (thankfully not a live one – that would be heading toward Ozzy Osbourne territory…)
When asked by work colleagues what the audience for HMHB is, I have gone for the stereotype of aging, overweight, bespectacled balding men (including myself in that category) – but there were significant proportions both of younger people in the Winter Gardens and females too. Approaching the venue earlier, a queue for “Dreamgirls – the musical” had been assembling at another door, prompting speculation on whether the two audience groups might get mixed up, and consequently which would be the most perturbed by what they were presented with…?
The playing of A Lilac Harry Quinn reminded me I’d seen a Harry Quinn (albeit rainbow coloured, not lilac) in a shop window in Kirkudbright a few weeks back. Did wonder whether there might have been a copy of The Golden Bough around, but no.
Finally, is it just me, or does anyone else think that Karl the guitarist and that chap off Grand Designs might just have been separated at birth…?
14 October 2022
dr desperate
Martine Croxall, NB’s favourite to replace Fiona Bruce as Question Time presenter, appears to have succumbed to the Curse of HMHB.
(She didn’t last very long, did she?)
24 October 2022
EXXO
Whereas his second nominee for the gig…
https://youtu.be/DRd9rMCM_MA?t=5
24 October 2022
EXXO
Soz, didn’t realise that the above was a timed URL spoiling the moment. I’ll try again:
https://youtu.be/DRd9rMCM_MA?t=1
For those who weren’t in Blackpool, VD was NB’s other nomination for someone who’d be less annoying than Fiona Bruce on question time.
I’m sure NB is aware that VD was one of five other candidates when FB got the gig to replace David Dimbleby in December 2018 (along with Samira Ahmed, Emily Maitlis, Nick Robinson, and Kirsty Wark).
24 October 2022
Mike DIACK
Has HMHB ever played in New Zealand?
If not, why not?.
26 October 2022
BOBBY SVARC
New Brighton, Possibly.
26 October 2022
cobside
Class gig. Lads were on fire
24 May 2023